"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."

Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.

Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...

Part XXXI…

A few moments earlier…On the ocean just outside the Hawaiian harbor…

"Thurston, Lovey…How truly great to see you out here, what a surprise." Banner greeted the Howell couple, one of America's richest old money families as they sat on the rear deck of the small charter. The first mate having just left after spending about fifteen minutes adjusting the pillows they'd brought on board from their rental car, taken from their own boat currently in dry dock. Along with bringing aboard four large trunks from their hotel which they planned to ferry over to their boat after the cruise, an arrangement the skipper had agreed to without much reluctance given the extra fee offered.

Yeah…Truly great…Considering you have about ninety minutes left to live…

"Banner…How's the neo-Fascist fringe these days?" Howell eyed him. Stiffly accepting handshake.

"Booming, Thurston, booming…Lovey? How are you?" oleaginous smile. She eyeing his slight bow but refraining from offering her hand. "I see you're traveling in your usual style…" Eyeing the trunks…

"Just developing a terrible headache, Mr. Banner, excuse me." Lovey rising with grimace, and heading to the stairs to the lower deck.

"Hope she's not sea-sick…" Banner smiled.

"Just a bit nauseated." Howell smiled grimly. "So, you just happened to be in Hawaii and to book this little charter…?"

"Indeed, my first vacation in…Well, years. Just a couple of days in fact. But it's me who's surprised to find Thurston Howell III and his wife here, on this little tub. Slumming, are we?"

"Lovey had a hankering to see the islands by night. Our yacht is disabled for a few minor repairs but will be ready tomorrow so we'll be taking our trunks directly over after this cruise. So, Crumpf's demise has left you with some free time?" Howell asked.

"A bit…Though it's right back to the grindstone for the new Leader of the Party, whomsoever he may be."

"Dare I ask, which party or what country?" Howell eyed him.

"Why, Thurston…I may follow a more rigorous path in my conservative notions than you and some of our GOP leaders but I remain a staunch and loyal Republican…Who on occasion contracts for other conservative groups."

"Neo-fascists, neo-Nazis…" Howell noted.

"Most of them very good people if you give them a fair chance…The truest sort of conservatives even if they may not constitute what some old-line Republicans consider Republican." Banner smiled.

"Yes, as Crumpf once said. Well, frankly…It's been hard to say what constitutes a Republican, these days, given the fracturing of the party due to your friend Crumplf." Howell noted coldly.

"Hardly Fred's fault…We were stabbed in the back by those lacking our vision. The weaklings…The collaborators…The…"

"I think I know whom you meant to accuse…" Howell cut him off, cold smile.

"Oh, I have a ways to get to…The Jews, Thurston…" wide smile. "In fact, we've pretty much found ways to accept some of your right-thinking ones into our embrace. It's unfortunate some continue to associate with the communist liberals and foreigners but I'm sure you'd be impressed by those who have signed on with us. Some well known to you…And no doubt, dear Lovey. Who has so many interesting and colorful friends, not to mention a few fascinating relatives."

"I fear so…Though not likely to include many of my Jewish friends or Lovey's friends and relatives. They don't find it easy to overlook the past and question just how much you've changed your spots."

"Unfortunate. They, like some of the old, hidebound wing of the Party may find themselves out in the cold when we resume our natural birthright and put the nation on the proper course."

"One determined by you and your friends, eh? With no place for say the people our Party was founded to free." Thurston eyed him coldly.

"An unfortunate mistake on the part of some idealists, possibly of questionable heritage themselves in some cases…Which we hope one day to rectify." Smile. "Thurston, you're an old conservative who prefers the company of the right sort of people. I'm surprised to find you're not so eager to join us."

"No, not at all." Howell, coolly. "Though I have at times contributed to your former leader, for the sake of party loyalty, I did and do not endorse his policies. And even less, yours."

"And yet those policies have benefitted you…Personally." Banner smiled.

"Those sorts of benefits I can live without, Banner." Howell frowned. "Especially at the cost you people would impose…"

"Have we imposed a cost on you, Thurston?" cool smile.

"On every decent Republican, Banner…But as I believe I once predicted to you when I refused the sort of support you expected, Crumpf led the Party to disaster and now, he's finally gone and we can try to rebuild. Without you and your friends."

"Oh…" Banner smiled. "Without me and my friends and our mega followers, you have very little, Thurston. Just a bunch of sad old out of touch wealthy men and their women, and a few old Rockefeller progressive communistic types sighing that time is moving beyond them. We are the future, Thurston. The wave. A pity you and others can't see that."

"We saw it and assisted in its defeat in 1945, Banner. Despite a number of us holding views differing from Mr. Roosevelt at the time. Don't assume because I hold some conservative views that I admire or accept any of your notions." Howell frowned.

"The…Minority…:Lover and his foolish wife? Yes, it's a pity we can no longer find common ground in opposing his communistic schemes."

"Perhaps some of us have broadened our views since Mr. Roosevelt passed on…" Howell eyed Banner.

"That's unfortunate…Well, as you say. And now, sadly, we are no longer in a position to influence the Party as we'd like."

"No, thank goodness." Howell nodded.

"But we will be, again…One day." Banner smiled coldly.

"You'll have to excuse me for hoping that day never comes." Howell shook head.

"Well, I must beg to differ. But enjoy the cruise, Thurston." Banner smiled, striding on.

Ah, about eighty minutes left…May as well try to enjoy the cruise.

Should try Terry/Ernest again…Strange that someone else answered last time …And disappointing if she's failed, much as I would regret her/his loss.

And check in with Lorene to confirm he's made good his escape and destroyed his files.

Sadly, he's just too valuable to receive a visit from someone like the Killmores…Speaking of which, Lorelai and her daughter should be near Oakland now.

Nice to know we have one team that never fails.

"Explosive in the phone you gave me as well…" Jeremy noted to Terry as she eyed him from her seat, she currently handcuffed by both wrists after having been examined for other weapons or commnnication devices.

"Just wanted us to be together, babe." She smiled.

"Are you even a woman?" he eyed her. Frank, by Marjorie, and Ed staring…

"Oooh…I was hopin' to spare your feelings, honey. Afraid not." Smile. "But you really won my heart." Smirk.

Ok…Maybe you did…But the Cause and all…

Wow…Ed blinked.

Thank God Edna was just an experiment…I mean, no offense, but I'd rather not find out I've been doing it with some version of Ernest Borgnine in my wife's body…Like in that horror movie…Now seeing him in that pretty girl's body was real horror.

"So the President's been secured and the staff is being rechecked?" Frank asked Marjorie.

"Yes, and so far so good…Though Morene and an aide have disappeared. They must have warned them." Marjorie eyed Terry. "Nothing useful as yet from his office. But there's a dragnet out for them and as soon as we get to DC we'll meet to plan a strategy. It's time to take this fight to them."

"I'd like in on that, Director." Jeremy called. "Especially if there's any chance to save Terry."

Aww…Terry/Ernest, involuntarily. I know it's not for me but…