"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."

Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.

Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...

Part XXXII…

"We'll be in DC in three hours." Marjorie noted. "This one's a bit faster than your commercial jet." Smile to Frank as she took seat arranging her suit and skirt outfit.

"Edna, ya sound good, honey…" Hocken on cell from his seat. "I wish I could be home now but things to do with the case, you know how it goes. Nah, no big deal…Just gotta track down some leads with Frank. Just listen to the doc and keep takin' his stuff. No, no, sweetie…You haven't done anything wrong. No…" he lowered voice, turning away to window.

"Poopkie…" distinctly heard…

"I wish I could have let Captain Hocken go home…" Marjorie sighed to Frank. "It sounds like his wife is doing better…"

"Yeah, nice to know her brain's less full of holes or at least working round them." Frank nodded. "You've done a great thing for my pal and his family, Marjorie. Thanks."

"Well, I only facilitated but thank you." She beamed. "Glad we could help. Just hope we can help her permanently once we get hold of these people."

"That would be good. But if she croaks shortly and doesn't get in one more kid by another man, I'm sure she and Ed will be grateful." Frank nodded.

"The Captain's a very loving husband. I'm sure it's been hard on him."

"Frank? Edna says thanks for not accepting her proposal last Christmas!" Ed called, returning to phone. "And ditto there!"

"No problem!" Frank called back, turning back to Marjorie. "Anyway, what with the verbal and physical abuse, the promiscuity, the humiliation in public, the attempts to kill him, even in his sleep…It's been a little difficult for Ed. Thankfully, he's had the various kids, his and not, to help. And when in something like her right mind, Edna's really very sweet."

"It takes a big man to look past that." She nodded. "Frank? I suppose you've been wondering if that treatment might help Jane…" she hesitated.

"I already spoke to the doctor…" he replied. "A different situation, I get it."

"But there's still a chance. And of course, if we can capture some of Crumpf's Nazis and their technology intact…"

"I'm hoping for just that." Frank nodded. "Marjorie…" he eyed her. "There's no point in pretending I'm not attracted to you…" he began.

"Same here…" she smiled, patting him. "But you don't have to say more, Frank…"

"Well, I wouldn't want to lead you on, you not having a brain full of holes and mush…"

"I understand, Frank. You're a straight-arrow, one-woman-man type. I appreciate that." She nodded. "I just want you to know I'm here for you should anything happen…Or, if perchance you'd be open to a one or two nights' stand…?"

He blinked.

"I know…You're not that kind of guy." she put up a hand. "But it's hard to find a guy when you're in my position who's not a preening ass or just wanting to use you for his ambitious climb to power. So, when a girl like me sees a great guy like you…" shrug, wan smile. "I just want you to know I'm interested. But I'd never come between you and Jane…Excepting the one, two, maybe three, or four night stand sort of thing."

"I see…" Frank, a bit stunned. "And I'm flattered."

"You should be…" grin. "The salary's ok at my grade level but…You should see my pension plan…Honey, I could make you very comfortable." Nod. "But, I get it. I mean if I were the wife in a coma, I'd probably have guys watching you to 'disappear' any competition, real or potential."

"Really?" he stared.

"Hey, what good is power if you can't use it to keep other women off your guy?" she smiled. "But I respect a good marriage and you and Jane clearly have a great one."

"Thanks."

"Don't worry, Frank. We keep it strictly professional…I'm very patient, it's my career watchword." Marjorie, leaning back and eyeing him. "But, I think Jane would not want you to be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life, if there's no hope. So, thank you…For saying you're attracted. And just keep it in mind someone's got a candle burning for you, sweetie pie."

"Uh…Sure."

"Now, back to business…" she nodded. "Our target, Dr. Lorene's been embedded at the White House for a couple of months. We're having the whole staff rechecked just in case he covered up any 'entries' but that doesn't prevent him having slipped their own unaffected people in, so we're also checking new hires, folks who've been on leave…One doesn't have to have had brain surgery to be a traitor. And the dragnet is out in DC for him, though hard to say how much time he's had…"

"Right…" Frank, still a bit nonplused.

"Frank?! Edna's baking cookies! She'll save some for us! She's really feeling better!" Ed, happily closing phone.

"I bake a mean cookie myself…" Marjorie grinned to Frank. "Might wanna let Ed have those cookies to himself, just in case the treatment isn't quite as effective as we hope." Shrewd look.

"Frank?" Hocken called over. "Edna was talking about cookies, cookies, you think?"

Marjorie shrugging at Frank…Hmmn.

About forty miles from the Hawaiian marina the charter had departed…Darkness settling on the ocean…Stars shining brilliantly.

"Sir? I don't think you should be climbing over the railing like that…" the fresh-faced young brunette in pigtails eyed Banner as the ship neared his secret pickup coordinates. Banner just having lowered binoculars after noting a periscope flashing a light briefly and starting to climb over.

"Oh, I'm very careful…Just trying to get a better look, Miss…" he paused, indicating his binoculars.

"Summers, Mary Ann Summers, sir. Nice to meet you." She offered a hand which he shook, smiling, holding his position at the railing.

"Steve Banner…Nice to meet you." He told her. "Just out by night enjoying the islands, eh?"

"Well, I'm a teacher from Kansas and this is my first time to Hawaii or anywhere near so far away from home." She nodded.

"Heartland of America, I love it." Smile. "You see, I'm a political operative by profession and middle America is my…"

"Yes, the neo-Fascist scum top aide to Fred Crumpf Jr. I thought it was you." She cut him off, eyeing him coldly now.

Geesh…Doesn't anyone like me? He thought. "Oh, is that…?" slight glare…

"My father and grandfather and uncles fought to save the world from people like you and Mr. Crumpf." She frowned. "You're a despicable man and so is Mr. Crumpf. Thank God he wont be running again."

"You might be surprised, Miss…" he sneered.

A masked searchlight reflected off the water… Clearly the sub had surfaced. "Ok, gotta go. Sorry but our political discussion will have to be deferred, I have my own ship waiting." He climbed over the rail and jumped before she could react.

"Oh, my! Help!" she screamed as he disappeared into the water.

Now here's where this fat suit really comes in handy, Banner thought as he re-emerged on the surface, floating…Flashing his own pocket light as he could hear Mary Ann screaming for help on deck of the charter.

Nice girl, even if a foolishly naïve commie liberal. Probably best she'll be removed as a teacher indoctrinating my favorite base of future serfs, or as Adolf used to say, malleable dolts, with commie liberal LGBQT feminazi stuff like the world isn't flat, vaccines work, climate change is real, and unions are good for workers.

Sounds of a large deck gun firing on the ship…As the surfaced sub's searchlight found him out, floating on the water. He again signaling, as the small charter attempted to head away, more shots and sounds of shells striking the little ship. Screams from on board…

Well, that should be that…As the sub's coning tower came into view and several crewmen with flashlights brought a raft out on deck. Calls now to him… "Mr. Banner?!"

"Here! Right here!" he called back, flashing light again.

Really too bad I didn't get a chance to hook up with that actress…When you're as powerful as me, they let you do it. You can do anything as good ole Fred would say. Grab 'em by…

He climbed into the raft, aided by two crewmen and was quickly paddled over to the sub.

"We struck the little ship a couple times, I've no doubt it's finished but should we…?" the submarine captain asked the newly boarded Banner as he descended into the control room.

"Hmmn? Nah…If you hit them, they're sure to go to the bottom, though lets monitor a bit as we head out." Banner replied.

"Captain? The boat is moving off but slowly, I'd say they're taking on water now." A crewman called out.

"Well, that should be that, lets make tracks, Captain. We've an important reception to make." Banner commanded. "Nice tracking of us by the way."

"Easy once radar gets you close. These little passenger charters are always noisy. Though damned hard to hit with torpedoes and even the deck gun. But this one was especially noisy, for such a small boat…The captain seemed to always be yelling at the mate…"

"Yeah…The way they were going, I'd say we did them a favor sinking them." Banner noted. "Probably would have ended up lost on some deserted island."