"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."
Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.
Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...
Part XXXIV…
"So that's Morene?" Frank indicated a photo on top of a file.
"Hey, he looks familiar…" Ed stared. "Where have I seen that face before? It'll come to me, always does."
"Hmmn…I don't know…" Frank eyed the man in elegant white suit. "Familiar but I can't place him. Maybe it's the glasses."
"We can have that digitally removed. Sinclair?" Marjoire handed the photo to Sinclair. "Take this to tech services and have them do a copy without the glasses."
"Yes, ma'am." Sinclair hurried off. Rather eager to be away from Hocken.
Though thank God so far as he knew Ed hadn't seen him sneaking out that window of the Hocken home that evening in his undies.
True, Edna had not only told him she was married at the bar, then sobbed for ten minute about how good a guy her Ed was and what was she doing here before suggesting they get a room, but she'd never said he was a cop and someone he might conceivably encounter in the course of his duties with the Department branch in LA. And not that Ed Hocken, receiving a medal with medal of honor recipient Frank Drebbin, from the President herself.
Too bad about her brain thing, discussed by Hocken and the Director at their conference. Kinda hate ta think she was nuts when they met, though it did explain the sobbing and later her screaming "Who are you?! Help! Rape!" in bed at the hotel.
Dating these days is tricky, he thought. But, it's better to use Eharmony than that Tinder thing. Now that really drew in some creeps.
…
"Eric…Dr. Mabuse…Hey, son!" Banner greeted the group assembled at the old Uboat dock deep within the Lair. Matisse eyeing him coolly, Mabuse with oily grin and occasional giggle, Goebbels-Banner with some pleasure to see a friendly if ruthless face.
"Evita, Fred…" He greeted the two Crumpfs who'd come to welcome his arrival. Fred Jr. offering hand for shake, Evita managing not to wince at his kiss.
"Folks, hi!" he greeted additional staff and a group of the visitors to the Lair, including Aaron Smirk and lil' Kim and their various guards.
"Deputy Leader…" Matisse in tone suggesting anything but deference. "Your trip was smooth, I trust."
"As silk, Matisse…As silk. And seamless, the captain saw no traces were left behind."
Gotta remember to sell my Howell Trust stock quick.
"Dr. Mabuse? Alls well?" he turned to the smirking Mabuse.
"The subject is doing very well, Deputy Leader." Giggle.
"And now you're here, we can see how things are going…" Smirk noted with smile.
"We're very anxious to see the fruits of your labors, Mr. Banner." Lil' Kim noted.
"And of our investment there in…" Antonio Salamanca, a bit grimly.
Evita looking a bit thoughtful…Fred Jr. attempting to assert himself as titular heir and head honcho.
"Steve, if you'd like a drink and something to eat first, then we can all have a gander, eh?"
"Sure, Fred…I wouldn't mind a bite to eat. Mike?" he turned to Goebbels-Banner. "How's about getting your old man to the chow table. Evita, Fred?...Guys…?" including Smirk, lil' Kim, Matisse and others. "I know you're all anxious to see our success, so let me just grab something and we'll head to the lab. Mabuse? We're ready for the unveiling, right?"
"Certainly, Deputy Leader." Mabuse nodded, giggling.
Guy creeps me out…Evita thought. As did a number of the others, including a number of hardened killers.
…
Rory emerged from a ladies room in standard office blazer and skirt…In fact that of the staff person she'd just murdered in the said ladies room, swiftly altering her id to put in her own picture and false name. Fortunately, still just one of those laminated plastic things, easy to pry open, though no doubt fingerprints on file in the system. Well, good enough for a quick strike/kill but we'll have to watch it for any special security.
"Excuse me…" she beamed at Drebbin as she passed him, eyeing Lorelei at her janitor's cart down the hall.
Uh-uh…Lorelei's look said no, no, no.
Hmmn…Well, Mother Knows Best.
"Not at all…" Frank nodded, entering men's room. Rory moving down towards Lorelei.
Nice kid, kinda on the young side for this sort of work…But maybe she's an intern or clerk, he thought.
"Hey, Elsie…On the evening shift again?" she addressed Lorelei in the hallway, as two more staff moved on by.
"Yes, ma'am…" Lorelei, affected Southern accent. "But only a couple of hours left…Not yet…" she hissed. "Working escape route…And, new orders from the local client."
"What?" Rory, annoyed but whispering. Immediately pasting smile as another staff member passed quickly. "Well, have a great night, Elsie."
"Yes, ma'am. I surely will. You too." Lorelei nodded to her.
Rory, continuing on down hall, frowning slightly. Pausing by a door to a conference room, looking down hall to see Lorelei eyeing her.
Ok…She stepped in, turning on light, taking seat at table.
Anyone comes by, the usual innocent bat of eyes and "I was sure our group was to meet here…"
Clients…Sigh. What's this about? We had a perfect opportunity here. Bit hard escape, true, given the security but…A quick knifing in the men's room, avoiding any splatter, an "oops, ladies room was full" to anyone outside, and make your way out. I mean it was surely harder boarding that plane at the base in Oakland and securing ourselves in the cargo bay.
Not to mention flying here in the cargo bay…Earning our pay on this one, I tells ya.
And I can't even text here to ask, why?
Well, just have to hope I can dodge a bit longer as "Susan Waison". Good thing I was able to lock what-was-her-name?, poor thing, sorry no time to get acquainted, in the toilet but wouldn't count on that for too long. And they're sure around here to check on people missing for too long.
Why do things have to get so complicated sometimes?
…
"Well?" Smirk eyed Banner who was sipping a glass of white wine with the Crumpfs as they stood on the main laboratory level, Mabuse and Goebbels-Banner flanking Banner. Lil' Kim and guards, male and female, peering down the hallway. Some of the older original Nazi families clustered together, regarding Banner with a certain degree of disdain, as rather too "Neo" for their taste, and caution, given his position as Deputy Leader. Fritz von Papenstein despite his efforts to "Hey, heil" to his fellow Nazis left to his own devices. They might remember I'm the actual German Nazi here. Ho Xi Chang keeping a bit aloof with his guards. Hey, second greatest superpower rep here, he eyed the others. MBI and the Sultan as befitting royalty, likewise aloof, though each ignored the other. Matisse calmly eyeing the group.
"Just want to give everyone a chance to get down here, Aaron…Ah…" Banner smiled as the second elevator dinged.
Salamanca, Novotny, Washington-Smith, and others, including the two congresswomen, Rep Lake Perry and Rep Pea Yellow, and guards, emerging…Perhaps a tad miffed to be on the "number two" elevator, but relatively eager.
"Well, folks…Shall we go greet our restored Leader?" Banner beamed. Turning with the Crumpfs, Goebbels-Banner, and Mabuse beside him. "Well…Fred?" he addressed the rather pleased Crumpf… "You should do the honors…Just put your eye near the scanner there." He pointed to the retinal scanner Mabuse had used before. Fred hesitating a second then going over…
Ya never know with these guys. I could be getting an immediate removal from the post of chief heir, courtesy bullet through eye to brain…Still, I've seen Mabuse use it though I haven't yet been inside. He put eye to scanner. The door opened with a whoosh.
Neat, very Star Trek, guys, Fred thought, pleased.
…
Lorelei entered the conference room… "Oh, hiya, miss. Just gotta finish up in here, if it's ok?" apologetically. She pulled cart in.
Rory giving her a what the…? look from where she sat. "Sure, Elsie, not a problem…" light tone.
"Sorry." Whisper… "Change of orders from the head honcho here just after we separated to enter the monitored area. They…Or this one…Want Drebbin alive."
"Alive?" Rory, louder but still whispering. "How do we manage that from in the Department of Presidential Security, Security with an S, even if I'm a bit disappointed in the backward ids? I was expecting a challenge there."
"Gotta get creative…Any way they've trebled the fee for the time and trouble."
"I'd demand ten times…" Rory frowned.
"I bargained 'em up to five…You have to know when to fold 'em, honey. And we do do a lot of business with these people. Don't 'em to think we charge extortive rates."
"Still waiting on the 'how we get this guy out to our client' for what I assume is some sick personal revenge? Or is this Lieutenant Drebbin actually someone much bigger and declared too important to kill?"
"Hey…Ours not to question why…"
"Yeah, yeah…Ours but to make 'em die. But this is kidnapping, a hard way to do things even if the final result's the same."
"Oh, come on…Where's that Killmore spirit?" Lorelei beamed. "And we've done kidnap/murders…"
"Yeah…Where we didn't have to worry if the subject reached the client alive."
"Consider it a challenge. Could open up a whole new line of crime for us."
"Hmmn… 'the Kidnap Girls'? Doesn't have that 'Killmore' ring to it, plus it doesn't rhyme to Wilmore. And 'Kidnapmore' just sounds silly." Shake of head.
"Come on, Rory…Lets give it the old college try, you're a Yalie. And if we can't figure a way to get him out, we garrot or gut him." Lorelei beamed. "And he thought you were a very sweet kid, I could tell when you passed him."
Eehew…Mom? Rory stared.
"I mean in the nicest way. Though, I have found, in my varied career, a little flirtation, innocent in spirit, can smooth the path."
"You know you could be leading me down a very dark road…As opposed to our current one."
"I'll will be there…There'll be no funny business. Besides, Lieutenant Drebbin's a married medal of honor winner. I'm sure he's a gentleman. All the LA General neurology nurses love the way he's always coming by, talking to that poor wife of his." Fond smile.
"Fine…Whatever…" Rory sighed. "I hope you really have a plan."
"Dearest." Lorelei, shaking head.
…
