Chapter 10: … How the hell did this story already break 1k reviews?

I don't own Highschool DxD, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new abilities in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

Beta note: Completely my fault that this took so long. I have legitimate reasons for this, but no one wants to read them. So I'll just say sorry.

o. o. o.

Eight Years ago:

"So, this is the current Sekiryuutei." Azazel smiled as he looked at the curious Issei. "Cute kid."

"Yeah, well, that'll wear off pretty fast." Baraquiel sighed.

"Come on, he doesn't look that bad."

The married man gave his boss the universal "oh really?" look before turning to his student. "Issei. What are your first impressions of Azazel-san?"

The seven year old looked up at his teacher with curiosity. "I thought you said that I shouldn't tell people what my first impressions are after the bar fight two weeks ago."

"Bar fight?"

"We were picking up his father from a company outing. Got one look at his old man's boss and ran his mouth faster than any of the drunks there. Nearly got the poor guy fired." Baraquiel coughed. "Azazel's a special case. Humor me."

Issei shrugged. "He looks like what I thought he would."

Azazel skeptically looked at Issei. "And what's that?"

"Professional and well-kept, with expensive clothes and grooming, but in casual way to put most people you deal with at ease. You put in a lot of effort into your image, but that's more to impress other people when you talk to them than to actually look good, even if you don't really need or care to. You're really smart and keep track of everything around you, showing your experience and high levels of situational awareness. You look and act like a successful middle aged guy that is capable of seducing any women you want, but you also are probably completely incapable of maintaining any sort of intimate relationship due to a habitual avoidance of commitment, and show more dedication and interest to personal projects. A high functional, and extremely successful, sociopath."

"…"

"…"

"… I told you. He's got a mouth."

"Snk. Pffftahahahahahaha!" The Leader of the Grigori burst out laughing. "I love this kid! He's totally right! He's got me pegged just by looking at me, and he doesn't even hesitate to tell me to my face! He's got bigger balls than nearly everyone in the three factions already!"

"You're over two thousand years old. I'd be worried if you were actually bothered if someone confronted you about it." Issei tilted his head to the side curiously.

"If he was bothered by it, you'd be dead already." Ddraig sighed, materializing the Boosted Gear in the process.

"Oh come on. We both know that we'd do something to save the brat if it came to that. He's too fun to go to waste now." Ghost snickered as he did the same with Blind Eternity.

"Ddraig. It's been a while." Azazel nodded to the crimson gauntlet before turning his attention to the black one. "And you must be Ghost."

"Yep. The dumbass stuck inside another dumbass. The dumbass deluxe, at your service." The immortal cheerfully greeted.

"Hey!"

"Quiet dumbass. I'm talking to the manther with commitment issues."

"I'm starting to see what you were getting at earlier when you mentioned the kid being difficult." Azazel patted his friend on the back. "You are completely unsuited for guys like this."

"Coming from the person who is almost exactly like them." Baraquiel deadpanned at his boss.

"Exactly!"

"… I'm seriously concerned about what would come of the world if two of you were allowed to exist freely and frequently."

"Oh come on. You're overreacting." Azazel turned to Issei. "So kid. I hear you give people nicknames on the fly. What's mine?"

"Eternal single uncle." In hind sight, it was more impressive that Issei didn't even hesitate a second before dropping that bomb with a completely straight face.

"Erk." That time, the kid's words did manage to pierce through Azazel's pride.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ghost clearly found it amusing if the twitching ebony gauntlet was any indication.

"Not so funny now, is it?" Baraquiel chided.

"It's fucking hilarious! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, well, if it's so funny, what does he call you then?"

"Whatever I feel like at the time." Issei shrugged. "Ghost-sensei's all over the place, so nothing really sticks. Sometimes he's really scary and awesome. Other times I seriously contemplate amputating my arm so I don't have to listen to him anymore."

"The latter more frequently than the former." Ddraig helpfully added his two cents.

"Yeah. I tend to get that reaction from most people."

"He's an asshole." Baraquiel summarized flatly.

Azazel whistled, impressed. "Wow. You must be. It takes real skill to get under his skin enough to make him willingly swear."

"It's a gift… and the result of being married to a psychopathic psychologist wife that saw me as her greatest project more than a patient or lover, but that's neither here nor there."

"Sounds like an interesting marriage." Azazel mused curiously. "Kid, you seriously never gave this guy a nickname?"

The boy shrugged. "I did refer to him as my inner retard for a while, but all that did was make him constantly talk as if he had cerebral palsy until I stopped."

"It was incredibly annoying." Ddraig added, not at all concerned with Baraquiel's sudden sputtering.

"As far as I'm concerned, if you're immortal and you haven't developed some skills in method acting by the time you hit four hundred, you're doing it wrong."

"I, honestly can't argue against that." Azazel laughed sheepishly. Being able to lie and pretend that he was someone he wasn't came second nature to him and nearly every other ancient being out there. The number of tales of gods and other beings posing as random humans was as numerous as the stars in the sky. "Still, that begs the question why you aren't posing as someone other than yourself. Especially if you're as important as Ophis claims you are."

"Eh. It's too much of a pain. Plus I didn't come here to start anything. I'm here because I heard a retarded song out in the realm between realms and traced it to this chain of worlds to find the source because it amused me. I wasn't really focusing on where I was going exactly though, so I might have missed the year by a decade or two by accident."

"You came to our world, because you heard a stupid song?" Baraquiel groaned. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing, but at the same time, it matched this guy's personality to the letter.

"Yep. I'm not anchored to any reality, so I normally jump to and from worlds if I'm needed or just feel like it. My original universe got wiped out millennia ago due to certain events that don't really matter for the plot, so I'm just free roaming. Thankfully, your world has a good foundation and power behind it, so it can handle me being here for a while."

Azazel frowned at that bit of information. "And, what would have happened if it wasn't strong enough?"

"Oh, then this reality would have collapsed due to being unable to stay stable trying to support the existence of a multiversal singularity on it. It's happened a few times. Or more. Totally not my fault. I have it in writing."

"Right. Should we be worried about your current situation?" Azazel was slowly starting to realize that maybe he should have gotten involved with this kid sooner than he thought.

Ghost seemed to wave off the Fallen's concern. "Nah. It's fine. I have a shitty reputation with most of the guys upstairs, but all in all I'm a pretty low key guy. I prefer to watch the show rather than be part of it and party with the crew after everything's all set and done. At worst, I tend to heckle the cast from the front row, metaphorically speaking, but on the same note, I also tend to cover the costs for the after parties and some of the equipment for the play in the first place more often than not, so it all tends to balance out in the end. Just, ah, don't mention me to any of the genuine conceptual gods here. They might instinctively recognize me like Ophis-chan and uh, things might get messy. I'm pretty sure your old man would have had a panic attack if he was still around and knew I was here."

Azazel and Baraquiel stiffened.

"Wait, you don't mean?"

"Their old man? You mean the biblical god? He's dead?" Issei frowned in confusion. Despite his intelligence and studying, he only had a cursory idea of just how big this news was. Even then it didn't have nearly the same impact on him as it would with most people.

"Yup. I could tell that good old Yaweh's been gone for a while as soon as I realized that the biblical thing is going strong in this reality. Guy did set up a decent religious blessing global system before keeling over, so he's got some points there, but it's already starting to fall apart something fierce. That's what you get when you get over reliant on belief based systems. I'm surprised it still works, let alone manage to rope me into it as well as it did. Impressive, but that might be the Angels trying to keep it going in hindsight. I've found a few patchwork fixes in it in my spare time that clearly weren't part of the original design."

Azazel and Baraquiel turned pale. "Y-You've been looking at the old man's system from in there and saw the flaws?"

Ghost yawned as if it wasn't a big deal. "Well, yeah. I mean, there's not much to do in here when I'm not driving you guys nuts. Like I said, I'm a multiversal power. An unquestioned constant of everything that exists, conceptual or not. If your old man made a system that runs only a few things here in this world, then I'm an essential factor in all systems in every world. It would be embarrassing if I couldn't do this much. Hell, I could go literally omnipotent and omnipresent if I wanted to, but actually doing it sucks, and shutting it off gives me the mother of all headaches. So I don't."

"And yet you're stuck in a nine year old kid's arm." Azazel lamely stated out loud, more to himself than anyone else.

"… Not my greatest moment. I'll man up to that."

"Azazel. What are you thinking?" Baraquiel noticed the gleam in his superior's eyes. It was a look the man had when he was contemplating something that fit the lines of "high risk high reward".

"This… we could use this. This could be exactly what we need Baraquiel. To get Heaven to the table and seriously consider peace."

"Hah?" Issei, Ghost, and Baraquiel all tilted their heads to the side confused.

"Baraquiel, this guy can see the flaws of God's system. Probably better than anyone else, from inside young Issei here in Japan no less. Imagine what he could do if he had permission to visit Heaven. They could help with the upkeep of the entire system. Heck, they might…" Azazel hesitated. "… They might even be able to make it so that Angels can be born again."

"Michael would do anything for such a resource. For even a chance to make that happen again." The larger of the two realized where this was going.

"Not with Ophis protecting him they're not." The Governor reasoned.

"Am I going to have to start fearing for my life again soon? Because I'm starting to get tired of that." Issei shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you have emergency Ophis brownies in the house?"

"I made some yesterday."

"Then you should be good."

"Oh. Ok then. Never mind."

The Fallen Angels sweatdropped, unused to just how fast Issei had gotten used to and disregarded the idea of Heaven itself possibly coming for him. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Ghost. The old man's system. Can you do anything to it from in Issei? Can you possibly fix any of the problems it has?"

"If you're asking if I can do something about it from here in Japan? Then no. the only things I can tweak are whatever the kid lays his Sacred Gear on. If you're asking if I could do anything to it while stuck in the kid if he was in Heaven? Then… maybe. Depends what you want fixing. Correcting large complex conceptual systems is more my siblings' specialties to be honest. I'm unfortunately more of an "obliterate everything to preconception" kinda existence. I still might be able to help you out, for a price."

The two Fallen's excitement turned to worry. "What do you want?"

"I'll consider helping you guys out if you can answer this one question." Ghost's tone was ominous.

"And that is?" Baraquiel grimaced, hoping it didn't have to do with breasts this time.

"I've been looking at the mortal history of the world with the kid. Heaven's got all the Catholics and Muslims and the like, Devils get pretty much everyone that's interested in working with them, but after seeing how humanity has progressed and how the wars have turned out, I just need to know for sure."

Everything was ominously quiet.

"You guys got the Jews, didn't you?"

Everything was awkwardly quiet.

"Pft. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Azazel burst out laughing.

"Ugh." Baraquiel groaned. "Those guys? Again? Seriously? The conversation just had to go in that direction?"

Why? Why did nearly every conversation always go back to the Jews? They aren't even that interesting! The only reason why Azazel even bothered to invest in them in the first place was because they were the only group in the biblical factions' influence that were allowed to work in banking and loans. The Fallen needed a wide spread group of people to test his money laundering schemes to manipulate the other factions and the war itself.

Even then, it took those guys over a thousand years to catch on to what Azazel had been doing and finally start doing it themselves starting with Napoleon. Personally, he thought that the whole preconception that all Jews were evil and trying to control the world when it took them so long to figure out something so simple was just embarrassing for everyone involved. It had gone past a bad joke and was now just annoying.

As far as he was concerned, they were just another demographic of humans. The leaders were half corrupt bare minimum, the minority were screwing things up in one way or another, and the majority just wanted to get on with their damn lives without getting screwed over. Same as everyone else. Same as it's always been.

"He didn't say no! That means I'm right! I fucking called it!"

"And you said getting them on our side wasn't worth the trouble!" Azazel pointed to Baraquiel, roaring in victory. "Best gamble I ever made! Even if it did take almost two millennia to cash in! And here I thought that the best payoff from it was pissing Michael off when I got my hands on Jerusalem! Hahahaha!"

Issei decided to avoid any conversation about religion from that point onward if he could help it. It just wasn't worth the headache.

o. o. o.

Present Day:

It didn't take Issei as long as he first thought to find his way home despite the lack of a GPS.

Part of it was due to the fact that Kuoh Academy was pretty easy to identify from the air. Determining where he was in relation to the school was easy once he knew where the damn school was in the first place.

Part of it was due to the fact that there were so many people in his home. He didn't know why, but whenever a stranger or too many people were at his place, he'd instantly know of it and instinctively head towards its direction. He didn't know why his instincts acted this way, but it was annoying. It got so bad it was hard to think sometimes.

Like now for example.

It was like an entire crowd was having a party on his grave.

By the time he got to the front door, his nerves were shot to the point that he was suffering from involuntary contractions all over his body.

In layman's terms, he was twitching something fierce.

He opened the door quietly and snuck inside. Despite his actions, his apprehension only grew as he entered the building and heard all the noise from the conversations taking place.

He could handle it at school. People were supposed to be there in large numbers. It was expected there. Natural. It wasn't his territory, so why should he care who goes there and who doesn't?

Here though, it was too many. There were way too many people in his den. It wasn't right. It's not normal for it to be like this.

"… Issei? Is that you?"

At some point he had stopped to rest against the wall to deal with his frayed nerves, giving those inside time to notice that he had arrived. Thankfully, it was his mother that noticed him first. The only familiar voice of the lot that he wasn't on guard against.

Unfortunately, that also brought everyone's attention on him.

Why didn't he spend all night fighting Fallen Angels to the death again?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "… Yeah. Yeah, I'm back. Had to take a detour, so it took me a while."

"You got lost again, didn't you?" Asami deadpanned.

"No." Maybe.

"About time." Raynare shot him a dry look. "We spent all that time going shopping while holding a lost Nun's hand in public the entire time and we still got back before you. Somehow we stood out more and had more people staring at us than if you had been with us."

Ah shit. That's right. The brownies. He had almost forgotten about them due to the crows and the Ninja Puppy.

"Don't worry. Everything's in the kitchen." Asami spoke up the instant she saw Issei's eyes dilate in pure horror. There were few things that terrified her son that weren't related to his numerous traumas. Angering Ophis was one of them. Or could that be considered a trauma in itself?

He calmed down slightly at his mother's words. Good. That meant that he didn't have to waste much time preparing things beforehand.

His mind paused for a moment as he realized a discrepancy.

In the living room, all his guests from earlier and his mother were sitting with tea in front of them. And the slightly less nervous Ninja Puppy who had situated herself next to his mother.

It was almost eight at night.

"Is something the matter?" Rias asked, noting the muted look of confusion on his face.

"No one's eaten yet?"

It was the way he asked that indicated that he was unsure how he felt about the subject or what he should feel about the answer regardless of what it was.

It took a moment for his question to register with everyone before they all looked at one another, just as confused.

"I guess not." Saji shrugged with half a smile.

"Ara. It's that late? Time flies when you're having interesting conversations." Akeno smiled as if hiding a great secret. "Of course, we were also surprised when the others came back with Asia-chan and not you."

"It's quite fortunate that your mother learned how to speak Italian in college, Hyoudou-kun." Sona shifted her glasses in a way that clearly indicated that she disapproved of the situation.

"You make it sound like I didn't know what I was doing when that idiot pigeon forced me to adopt the Ninja Puppy." Did he really look like the sort of asshole that would take in people that he was incapable of communicating with?

Still it was lucky that Asami was trilingual. English was common enough, but finding someone that spoke decent Italian in Japan was extremely rare. The only reason why his mother learned it was because of her best friend from college was a linguistics major from Europe. Said friend had been his neighbor up until he was five or six before moving away to England.

Come to think of it, he had been friends with the woman's kid before they moved away, hadn't he?

Whatever. It wasn't as if it mattered. In the end, that guy's name was just the first in a long list of people that left him behind.

"Ninja Puppy?"

At once, Gasper, Saji, and Raynare all pointed to the very confused Asia.

"Eh?"

Rias, Akeno, and Sona blinked, looking at Issei and Asia several times in bewilderment.

Sona snapped out of it first. "How do you function?"

"With enough porn to make even the pope jealous… and before anyone asks, no, that wasn't a jab at the Church's longtime inability to deal with or admit to the existences of pedophiles in their ranks. This time." Issei grumbled, walking around everyone to get to the kitchen.

"This time?"

"Did he just say something about the Pope?" Asia looked around confused. "I'm pretty sure he said Pope."

"You're making brownies already?" Asami tried to get everyone onto a topic that wouldn't aggravate Issei or question the morals of one of the world's religious leaders.

"With this many people here at this time?" He paused to give everyone a calculating look. Nine total, including him. Most were devils of upper class, but they weren't the ones that mattered right now. "I'm making dinner. There's too many for anything elaborate, and the Ninja Puppy's probably in no mood for it even if I did make something like that. I'm just going to make some pho with the works for everyone. Any complaints?"

His declaration caught everyone flat footed.

"Pho?" Rias paused, trying to remember the dish. While she was a fan of Japanese culture and knowledgeable about Asian based myths in general, she wasn't knowledgeable about other eastern cultures.

"It's a popular Vietnamese comfort food Rias. Think of it as a cousin to ramen, only the noodles are rice based instead of wheat and more meat. The broth is lighter as well." Akeno clarified. "Although, if I recall correctly, said broth does take a while to make."

"We have some stock in the cabinets. It should be enough for everyone." Issei waved off her concerns before pausing at the kitchen door.

"I've had pho before when I ordered delivery. It's really good." Gasper threw in his two cents.

"I'm not picky." Saji shrugged.

"Anybody against having beef?" Issei asked from the kitchen door, getting a bunch of neutral responses. "Beef it is. You guys can pick your own garnishes and toppings once you get your servings."

He didn't even pause before entering the next room.

"That boy." Asami sighed. "Even when he's being considerate and hospitable, he can be such an ass sometimes."

"Um." Asia spoke up in confusion in Italian. "What happened? What did he say?"

Asami blushed in embarrassment. "Oh! Sorry. Issei just said that he was making dinner. He's making something called pho. Its noodles in a light soup. I think he was thinking of you when he decided on that, even if he would never admit it."

A lost girl in a new country that she didn't know the language to. Living in the home of people she had just met. All after being accused of heresy and kicked out of the only life and home she knew.

And the first meal she would have here was comfort food. Easy on the tongue. Easy on the stomach.

The Devils and Fallen Angel in the room all glanced at one another, all listening to Asami's words as clear as day.

o. o. o.

"Onions. Beef. Scallops. Beans…" Issei muttered the list of ingredients that were going into the night's meal as the stock heated up. It would take a while for the massive pot to boil, but he wasn't in a rush. Focusing on cooking was a good way to distract himself from the crowd in the next room.

He could easily multitask if he wanted to, but thinking about troublesome things was counterproductive in more than one way.

Plus, the last time he had tried that when stressed beyond his limits, he had accidentally cut himself something fierce. He healed the wound without problems, but it still fucking hurt.

"Hmmm? I'm impressed. You look like you have everything covered."

Thankfully, he didn't have a knife in hand this time.

"You didn't think I could cook?" He briefly glanced at Akeno standing by the doorway with the perpetual fake smile on her face.

"Maybe. I was more curious how you'd manage preparing for so many people at once." She didn't falter.

Next to him, the giant pot of soup stock was heating up. It would have taken a while to get that much to a solid boil, but it was nothing that couldn't be solved by temporarily Boosting the Pot's heat transfer coefficient a couple of times.

If she noticed how unusual it was that the stock was already boiling after a few minutes, she didn't bother to point it out.

"I can't stand being near people. I am, in fact, perfectly capable of accounting for them when I do things." He began to cut the onions with a sharp looking cleaver.

"So I see." She seemed content watching him cook with a curious eye. "A bit of a change in topic, but Sona was correct when she said that we were surprised when young Asia-chan came back with the others instead of you."

"Didn't Cougar or Ninja Puppy tell you what happened?"

Akeno had to hold back a chuckle at the names. She would never let that bitch Raynare live her moniker down, and Asia's was just so silly it was cute. "No. Your mother has been doting over Asia-chan as soon as she received an edited version of her predicament. We haven't had an opportunity to speak to her in private. As for your other tenant, you know how she can be."

True to form, Issei paused to breathe deeply to calm himself down. He knew that he was going to be asked about this eventually. It was too big of a curve ball to not inquire about as soon as possible. "Fine. Fine. Just, get Weeb, Enabler, and Cougar in here. I don't want to repeat myself for this."

Akeno stayed for a few extra moments, as if seeing something that genuinely interested her, before leaving. A few moments later, she came back followed by three others.

"Your mother is an exceptional host." Sona stated as she positioned herself by the fridge.

"And I'm an insufferable asshole. Insinuate something I don't know." Issei jumped to what he felt was the next most relevant statement, not breaking step as he moved to prepare the next few ingredients.

"You do realize that we originally came here to see how you were doing." Rias crossed her arms under her bust. "And that you were a major topic of conversation while you were out."

"I figured as much. Not hard to notice when someone's trying to hide pity when looking at you." He didn't need to see them to know that they had flinched at his words. "… So how much do you know?"

The room was dead silent for a few long moments before Sona broke it. "That you were assaulted, and subsequently accused of being the attacker. The accusations brought unwanted attention to you and led to experiencing, further issues and trials."

"Someone's clearly interested in politics and public speaking." Issei rolled his eyes. That was probably the most white-washed and bland description of what he's gone through to date. He was almost impressed at how boring she made it sound.

"You sound like one of those old humans making public speeches that are dead on the inside. Can you be any more pedantic?" Raynare deadpanned at the embarrassed Sitri, voicing his thoughts.

Though to be honest, he was more surprised that the Cougar had actually used the word pedantic in conversation in the first place.

"I'm trying to be considerate." The School President blushed. "How would you say it then?"

"I was fucked up. Then the bitch that fucked me screamed to everyone that I fucked her up, whoring herself to anyone that she could get her hands on. Then she, the media, and the courts fucked me in turns over a year, dragging me over coals and spikes the entire time. The only periods I was given breaks was when attention was shifted to attack people that were trying to support me, friends and family, until they either ran away or joined in fucking me. Most of them didn't even wait before jumping ship. All of which resulting in a titanic perpetual bareback gangbang orgy that rendered me into the used pathetic mess that is cooking your dinner."

He turned around to shoot the girls a very annoyed glare. "And in case you weren't told, the ones that left me to get screwed include, but are not limited to, the Satans, Zaz, and a couple of those dozen white winged hypocrites up in the sky that do nothing but sit on their hands."

Rias' brother and Sona's Sister.

It was a crude story, but more concerning to the girls than the story itself, was the subtext.

Someone wanted Issei specifically.

Someone important wanted Issei bad enough that they had and used enough power to force the leaders of the three major factions away from his side.

There were not a lot of individuals or organizations that had that sort of pull.

Suddenly, the Satan's insistence that the girls try to connect with Issei without telling them the whole story was beginning to make more sense.

In the world of politics, sometimes knowing too much hurt more than it helped.

Raynare, on the other hand, did not come to the same conclusion as the Devils. "Humph. Being yelled at by a bunch of people for something you didn't do and being left alone? That's all? That's all it took to make you go ballistic?"

"Ballistic?" Rias frowned in confusion, recovering from Issei's rant. It was an odd choice of words that clearly indicated that the Fallen was referring to something specific.

Issei paused in his cooking, his grip tightening hard on the knife he was holding before relaxing again. "… Cougar, so help me, I have already cut you off from your booze. Don't make me cut you somewhere else."

"Her booze?" Everyone turned to Raynare, who at least had the decency to look like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't. Just like you have nothing to do with the small pocket dimension under your bed that you keep most the shit you sneak in here, including those cheap ass dildos you use to pleasure yourself with every night that you don't happen to wind up blackout drunk."

"I, wait a sec! You've been sneaking in my room?!"

The teen shot her an incredulous look. "What part of blackout drunk didn't you get? I didn't have to sneak for shit. Do you know how many times I've had to hold your hair back so you could blow chunks into the toilet and not everywhere else in the house at three in the morning? I've literally had to drag and clean your lazy ass across the house half a dozen times since you've got here."

Raynare was displaying an interesting mix of emotions, ranging from pure humiliation to absolute rage. It was hard to tell if the gestures she was making with her hands were an unconscious attempt to curse him or her visualizing some half assed torture routine.

"I cook your food. I get your mail. I clean your room. I even clean those cheap welfare sticks you call sex toys out of fear that you'd get or spread a venereal disease in the house if they are exposed for too long. Not that you'd ever notice. How you ever functioned on your own, let alone manage to get back to the house every night, is a mystery that only God would be able been able to figure out."

The four girls could only gape in response to Issei's rant, all for different reasons.

Judging from the killing intent that Raynare was giving off, her silence was fueled by blinding rage.

"Fu. Fufufu. Ahahahaha." Surprisingly enough, it was Akeno that recovered first in a fit of laughter.

"Akeno?" Rias turned to her Queen in genuine surprise.

"He really is how Asami-san described him, isn't he?" The giggling girl smiled, clearly amused, though no one missed the vindictive look she shot at Raynare's direction. "He cooks. He cleans. He holds your hair back. It's like he's the world's most vulgar caretaker. Quite ironic since you are supposed to be the one keeping an eye on him."

Judging from the comedic flat footed expression Issei had, it was clear that he had expected Akeno's reaction as much as everyone else.

"I. Am going. To Kill. All of you." Raynare's words were less of a response and more of an unconscious reaction, complete with radiating unholy energy.

Rias was next to recover, allowing herself a few chuckles as well. "Hmm? I suppose you have a point. When you put it like that, it almost makes Issei look endearing. It also helps that he is rather cute when he isn't scowling."

Like now for example. True, he was more stunned than flattered, but it didn't hide the fact that there was a faint blush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

"I wonder. When you carried her to her room, did you treat her like a princess?" Akeno clearly was on a roll, though in hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea seeing how apocalyptic the Fallen was at the moment.

"I had to…" Issei had the decency to turn away while Raynare was spouting incomprehensible words, completely in disbelief.

"Eeeh? What was that? I couldn't hear you Issei." Rias joined in on the fun.

"I said I had to carry her that way! The first time I tried lugging her upstairs via fireman carry, she spewed all over the steps and my backside! She acts like she can hold her booze but in reality she has the tolerance and self-control of a college freshman!" Issei snapped, his face crimson and his eyes completely focused on cooking again.

It was a good thing that he made a habit of making sure the house was well stocked with cleaning supplies, and vinegar. There were few things that couldn't be cleared up between the two. After that, and half a can of air cleaner, the only evidence of the chunks that the Fallen Angel spewed were in the garbage bin outside.

Half an hour later, he had to get up for school. He had been very cranky that day.

Rias and Akeno couldn't resist their knee jerk reactions and burst out laughing.

Even Sona thought it was amusing if her poor attempt at hiding her smile was any indication.

"It's not funny! Do you know how sensitive a Dragon's nose is?! Half my face felt like it was on fire the entire time I was cleaning it up!" Issei didn't think it was amusing, pouting like a small child.

"You lying little creep! I don't remember you helping me with anything at all!" Raynare pointed accusingly at her host, finally snapping out of her stunned state.

He shot her a dry glare. "Blackout. Drunk. It's in the name. If there's one thing I learned from spending so much time with Zaz, it was to always have evidence for blackmail material. I have pictures and dates of each time I bailed your ass from your benders. Call my bluff. I dare you."

Akeno and Rias laughed even harder. Sona wasn't even trying to hide her amusement now.

"I. But. Why the hell didn't you say anything then?!" The Fallen was grasping at straws now, filled with both anger and genuine bewilderment.

Issei opened his mouth to say something before surprisingly cutting himself off prior to the first word. Instead, he visibly forced himself to calm down with one of his many deep breath routines that seemed to sap the energy from his body, and turned back to his cooking. He was almost finished preparing his toppings, having put the onions in ice water to keep it crispy, spread out the strips of beef in a neat line, and chopped up the rest of the condiments that needed it for the dish. Turning to the stove, he inspected another smaller pot of boiling water, which was going to be used for the noodles exclusively.

"Because, believe it or not, I'm not a complete dick. There's no point in pissing you off, and you don't have anything that I want. If you want to keep making a fool of yourself every night, go ahead. Just keep me out of it."

It was the way he said it that killed some of the mirth in the room. The hint of defeat and exhaustion in his tone that indicated that he really had lost interest in enjoying life or taking any form of risk anymore.

Raynare tried to say something in response, but the words died in her mouth. It was really hard to argue against Issei sometimes, especially when his emotions turned on a dime like they did.

Sona coughed. "I-it appears that we have gotten a bit off track. Hyoudou. The others have explained to us what they know about Argento's situation, but it clearly pales in comparison to what you know. I doubt I have to explain why Rias and I are more than interested in all of this."

"Yeah yeah. Three factions and ceasefire." Issei broke out several bags of sticky rice noodles and started to prepare them. "Don't blame the Ninja Puppy. She's as harmless and oblivious as she looks. She's not a threat to anyone. The worst she'll do to you guys is recite passages from the bible out of habit while you're around by accident."

"Been there done that." Raynare sighed, recalling how the girl gave her thanks when Asami gave her drinks and snacks with everyone in the room.

"Gasper said that you called Seraph Michael, in person." Rias got to the point. "Did he really say that she was going to stay with you?"

"Yeah. Not my first choice either, believe me." It didn't take long to warm up the noodles, but he was serving nine people at once. He was going to have to keep the first few batches in longer than normal to ensure that they stayed hot.

Sona shifted her glasses. "Why? If you were against it, why did you go with such plans? You are, for lack of a better term, stubborn as a dragon at times."

Issei prepared the bowls. Thankfully, despite rarely having people over, he had enough for everyone available. "Because some genius thought it was a smart idea to start some over convoluted stunt at the Church to get the Ninja Puppy excommunicated, then use a third party to kidnap her when she was being escorted outside of Church property and send her here of all places for a likely pickup to the retard that got her in trouble in the first place. Idiots can't plan adequately for shit. They didn't even try to keep an eye on her while she was travelling by plane."

All the girls froze in surprise. "W-what?"

He glanced at the girls with a dry look. "I already talked to the unfortunate scrubs that were here to grab her. Long story short, if they do something stupid, one way or another they are dead. Things are set up in a way that I wouldn't even need to lift a finger against them to ruin their lives at this point. That's not the main problem you should be worried about though. If I were you, I'd be more concerned about the Church."

"The Church?" Akeno frowned in confusion, trying to keep up with the boy. "Why? You just said that she's excommunicated. Why would they be interested in her now?"

Issei turned away to focus on cooking again. It wouldn't be long until everything was ready. "Asia Argento. Bearer of the Sacred Gear, Twilight Healing. Her unconditional ability to heal wounds is unmatched by anything short of Phoenix Tears. Weeb. Enabler. You two have researched Sacred Gears in anticipation of finding users for your Peerages, correct? Tell me, what do you know of the previous users of Twilight Healing?"

"Twilight Healing? She has that rare Sacred Gear?" Rias blinked in surprise, her eyes shimmering with excitement.

Sona on the other hand, was not distracted. Instead, she frowned in confusion, her mind trying to figure out what Issei was getting at. "Previous users? What does that have to do with our current situation? As far as I know, all the previous wielders have been praised for their natural healing abilities. More often than not, they're revered as… wait. You mean!?"

"Sona-san? Is something the matter?" Akeno didn't like the look of worry on the Sitri's face.

"They were revered as Holy Maidens and Saints." Sona whispered, dumbfounded.

"Isn't that a given?" Raynare frowned in confusion.

"You don't understand. The ones that were identified were ALL were revered as great healers. Of the Church." Sona elaborated gravely.

Rias got the point instantly. "You mean…"

Issei was the only person in the room that wasn't surprised by the revelation, having learned of it years ago. "Offensive oriented Sacred Gears are a dime a dozen. Even the Longinus are no exception. Their versatile abilities are more often than not used for attacking and destruction than anything else. Genuine support Sacred Gears, on the other hand, are not that easy to come across. Ones that heal even less so. Wars can only be sustained so long as there are able bodies on both sides. Humans, while we breed like rabbits compared to those that dwell in myth, are vastly squishier than the competition. The strong ones are no exception, and are vastly more difficult to come across."

"The Church has been monopolizing Twilight Healing to maintain their numbers." Rias realized the bottom line. "When one user dies, they instantly try to locate and control the next. But, that would mean that if a user did not agree with working for the Church, or could not be controlled…"

"They were kidnapped or killed. Three alone in the past two centuries. Bare minimum." Issei bluntly finished her assumption while scooping noodles into separate bowls.

"How do you even know that in the first place?" Raynare couldn't believe where this was going. "You just met the klutz only a few hours ago. Half of what you just said sounds like classified information that would take weeks to access."

He paused to think his words over. "I spent some time with Zaz before I went nuts. Learning and, other things. Some of it involved Sacred Gear research. Not a lot, and nothing particularly illegal, but enough that I had clearance to some of the Grigori's research archives. He had been interested in looking at Twilight Healing for a time, but he gave up pretty quickly after a bit of digging. Even among the Sacred Gears that the Church tends to try and keep hold of, that one is one of the most valuable to them. Even above most of the Longinus."

He didn't tell them that he had tried to meet Asia in person once. Both to see her and to examine how her Sacred Gear works. He was envious of what she could accomplish with her powers. But, the Church was beyond bullish when it came to the girl, even after he had gotten Michael's blessing to see her.

In the end, he did manage to say a few words to her and shake her hand. Literally, that was it. She had been at a charity event that reminded him of a book signing. People lined up to say their few words of gratitude, blessings, prayers, whatever, before getting pushed away by the assholes in security like they were on a factory line.

He doubted that she remembered him. It was probably for the best that she didn't.

"So, what you're saying is that you have one of the unofficial pillars of the Church's military might in your home." Akeno summarized.

"And am cooking her noodles. That, and she likely doesn't have a clue what's going on." Issei added, moving to the broth.

"Rias. This could be a problem." Sona shot her friend a worried look. "If she's that important, sooner or later, the Church will find out about this."

"Didn't they say that Archangel Michael gave his blessing? If that is true, why would they risk going against the Angel's requests?" Akeno asked.

"It wouldn't be the first time that the Church has acted against Heaven's orders." Rias shook her head. "They know that the Angels needs them as much as the other way around. If they are as adamant on maintaining control over Twilight Healing as Issei made it out to be, it wouldn't be difficult to imagine them arranging "accidents" or hiring a third party to do the deed anonymously."

"Mhm." Issei was tuning them out now, having already determined that much back at the park.

He didn't tell them that technically, the Angels were more than capable of spinning a dozen or so half-truths what could possibly stay the Church's hand if they moved quickly enough.

It's not like the Angels didn't have oh, say, a couple thousand years of experience misleading humanity doing just that.

In reality, he put the odds of the Church actually doing something drastic way out here during a ceasefire at a mere ten percent at most. There hadn't been any major skirmishes between the Major factions in years, and Japan was more or less neutral territory because it was just too out of the way for anyone in the Western Religions to care about.

Ironically, the latest big event that encompassed all three said groups was when, as Raynare so eloquently put it earlier, he went ballistic in the underworld.

The whole point of telling the girls of Asia's position in the first place, other than to distract them from talking about him in particular, was simply to make them aware that things could go bad, even if it was extremely unlikely. To light a metaphorical fire under their supple, creamy asses.

He was more than fine to let them continue to brainstorm on their own until…

"We might not be prepared for this. Not if they get desperate enough to send some of their stronger members." Rias bit her thumbnail in worry before remembering something. "Issei, during our excursion last week, before you left, you said that you were going to train my Peerage. Is that an open invitation? Can Sona and her peerage join as well?"

Huh. That was unexpected.

He thought that the Weeb wouldn't be able to get to that point until after dinner.

At the very least, he expected the girls to bounce ideas off of one another first before relying on the lowly human in the room. Maybe there was distrust between the two High Rank Devils?

"Rias?" Sona appeared to be as confused as Issei.

"Our siblings wouldn't have been so wary of him if he was weak, Sona." Rias explained before turning to her host. "I thought a lot about what happened last week Issei, and you're right. I got full of myself and let my guard down. We all did. The fact that you and Gasper got involved with the stray should never have happened in the first place. But, I noticed something else during the debacle. When things were bad, even when you were attacked, you were still calm. You were more agitated by the fact that Viser was touching you in general more than being in any actual danger. No, she didn't even register as a threat to you, did she?"

There was a quiet pause, with all eyes on Issei.

"… I don't think, that there is a single semi rational person on this planet, or its parallels, that wouldn't be alarmed about being shoved face first into a giant fanged pussy soaked with acidic vaginal discharge."

The room was quiet for an entirely different reason.

"A giant fanged what?" Sona blinked owlishly, her eyes were so wide that it was clear that she was having trouble processing what she had just heard.

"I take it you glossed over some details."

"I told her enough!" Rias fumed, with a blush on her cheeks.

"You told me he was eaten!" Sona accused.

"He was! Technically."

"Smooth." Raynare deadpanned.

"She certainly didn't gloss over your physical state after you got out. Or the related details." Akeno smiled scandalously.

"Akeno!"

"Sona seemed to be interested about her side notes as well."

"Akeno!" This time Sona was blushing.

"She was disappointed that she can look but can't touch."

"Now you're just making things up!"

"Am I?"

"Yes!"

"Dinner."

"Finally."

"No! … Wait what?"

"I, am not sure if I should eat after what I just heard." Sona was still in a semi stunned state.

"Sounds like a dilemma that's not mine. Funny, with Sera as your sister I thought that you'd be able to eat after seeing and hearing disturbing things." Issei, holding a tray with several bowls of pho, and toppings, moved out the kitchen.

"I fail to see how my sister dressing and acting the way she does is in any way comparable to your exploits Hyoudou!" Sona snapped at the closing door.

"Fufufu." Akeno couldn't help but laugh at the Sitri's frustrated disposition. "Considering your reaction, I'm somewhat leaning on his side on the argument."

"Don't you start too!"

"Calm down Sona." Rias smiled, leaning back in her seat. "You know what he's trying to do."

Of course she knew. All three devil girls knew. Asami had told them just a few hours earlier about Issei's habits and tics after all.

It was a good thing Akeno had brought that container of the tea that knocked Issei out with her. A quick explanation of what it was had the young mother looking at the thing like it was filled with gold.

If that wasn't awkward enough, once handed the container, she cradled it like it was a newborn child.

The girls were starting to see where Issei had gotten some of his eccentricity from.

Once calm, Asami had vaguely gone over what had happened to her son in a story that had more holes than Swiss cheese. Doing so, she had given the girls a better understanding of his psyche. They had more questions than answers now, but at least they had a better idea of how to deal with Issei.

The incident that destroyed him did more damage than most could imagine, let alone handle. At the age of twelve, he had been assaulted and dragged through the mud by someone he trusted. Then the same person made an effort to literally ream apart everything positive in Issei's life in order to make themselves look good in the public eyes. Friends that knew the truth left his side to join hers. Accomplishments that he had made were ripped away from him. Money and assets that he had worked hard to accumulate were confiscated as evidence. His dreams and good intentions either thrown in his face or used against him to make him look like a deranged psychopath that was a danger to society.

Even his family had not come away from it unscathed.

Issei was an intelligent boy, with a drive to do great things. But, after all his hard work and good intentions, not only did everything he built crumble apart in his hands, but the very world around him collapsed as well.

It wasn't a matter of starting from zero again. For him, "zero" had meant starting with a warm home with his parents, where his name wasn't hated by scores of people and blacklisted by entire organizations. At least at "zero", he had still been happy.

Special. That was what everyone said he was. Talented. Bright. Smart. Gifted. All those praises and more had been showered on him at a young age. He didn't let it go to his head, but at the same time, he knew he wasn't normal either. Thanks to Azazel, Sirzechs, and others, he had been surrounded by other people that weren't of the norm for a time, but after everyone left, after everything had been stripped of him, after there was no one capable around that could help and knew just how unfair things had been made for him…

… He started blaming himself.

No one wants him. He was a monster. Everything he did would only cause problems for those around him. Everything was his fault.

Normal people didn't understand or want to understand him. He wasn't normal.

Important people did not want to or could not waste their time and resources to help him. He was not important.

He should just be left alone. It was for the best for him. It was for the best for everyone.

The only time he would be needed was if he could provide something of value to others. They were never there for him. It would never be for him. He wasn't worth it.

Corrupted thoughts of that nature flooded his heart, further terrifying and isolating him from the rest of the world to the point that he had been horrified at the mere idea of conversing with others for a time.

He had stabilized since then, however it was far from a full recovery. That day, at the end of his ordeal, Issei Hyoudou had been completely broken. He had pulled himself together somewhat since then, but to those that knew him beforehand, it was clear that some pieces of him were no longer there. He was still very far from whole.

When it came to people, he was beyond uncomfortable. The only positive relationships that didn't wind up horrifically traumatizing him in one way or another were so sparse that Asami could count them on one hand with fingers to spare. Literally. Said relationships were also apparently with people very much twisted in their own way.

Case and point, Ophis was one of them, and Issei was terrified of pissing her off.

It didn't help that when Rias made a comment that Asami was also one of the people that Issei trusted, the woman went silent in a way that didn't bode well.

Clearly, there was an unknown rift between the mother and son that they did not want others to know about.

Because of his extreme discomfort, the young man was in a near perpetual state of "fight or flight", and in hindsight, it reflected how he interacted with people to the letter.

His first method that he fell back to the most whenever possible was "flight". He kept quiet and stayed the hell away from others in general. Simple enough.

It was only when he couldn't avoid people and had to interact that he switched to his more infamous "fight" mode. His normal approach was to blind whoever he was with with outlandish facts or stories to turn the subject away from himself before forcing it into a direction that everyone deemed important, giving him enough time and room to be forgotten as something less important than the topic at hand. A very crude, but very effective approach to the infamous bait and switch tactic using his targets' emotions and interests against them.

It was a cowardly thing to do, but Issei was damn good at it. His intelligence, personality, and sharp eyes tended to enable him to make connections that others couldn't, in an instant. It was rare to ever find him without something to say on the fly, both as a distraction and as a more important subject to discuss, all in order to keep people away.

That wasn't to say that he tried to steer things in a way that would significantly hurt others. If something was genuinely important, even if he didn't like it, he would still bring up the matter in his own way. But, conversely, if he thought it was an issue he could and would rather handle on his own than talk about, he would put it to the back of everyone's minds and deal with it personally while everyone's backs were turned.

Anything to keep himself out of the spotlight or ensure that he wasn't at risk of catching the attention of more people.

Having been trained in politics and subterfuge that was the standard in upper class Devil society, Rias, Sona, and Akeno were more than able to catch onto what Issei was doing the second he started being his rude self again.

They weren't particularly prepared for it at times, but they weren't fooled by it.

That being said, they didn't fight it. They didn't point it out. They didn't press their original topics that he had tried to avoid. They just went with the flow of things and waited to see where it went.

It would take some time, but it was the first step they needed to take in order to let Issei let his guard around them. To trust them.

Still…

"I didn't expect that girl to be the harbinger of so much trouble. No, to expect an excommunicated nun to just appear in our territory, in Japan, out of the blue is beyond fantastical by itself. The fact that she is a Sacred Gear holder, let alone important to the Church, can be considered simply redundant at this point." Sona frowned in thought. "Twilight Healing. To think that it held that much value. The more I think about it, the more astounded I am that no one knew about this sooner."

"I know. It makes me want her in my Peerage even more." Rias sighed.

"I wouldn't try anything if I were you Rias." Akeno gave her King an unreadable look. "Focus. As aloof as he might be, I somehow doubt that Issei would take it well if you made a move on her anytime soon without a valid reason."

"Don't treat me like a child Akeno." She puffed her cheeks out like a child.

"Yes well, it doesn't hurt to remind you sometimes, Rias-sama. You do have trouble keeping your hands to yourself sometimes. Ufufu."

"Akeno!"

"Get her some handcuffs then."

"Eh?" Rias' head snapped to where Issei was already preparing the second set of bowls. She hadn't seen him enter the room at all.

"Handcuffs. Hand restraints. Zip ties. Leather cat paws. Duct Tape. Chinese finger torture. Rope. Things to keep another person's hands in place. Take your pick." He half ignored them as he was focused on his task. "But whatever you decide on, do it after dinner. It's hard to eat this stuff with them on and I don't want to clean up any more than I have to."

"Speaking from experience?" Akeno didn't miss a beat.

Issei paused and looked up with glazed eyes, as if getting lost in a distant memory. "… Sometimes it just isn't worth being creative while making bets."

"Fufu. I don't know. I'm somewhat curious what seeing you in handcuffs would look like."

The young teen shivered as his memories grew more vivid. "I forced myself to be double jointed that day out of necessity."

Glenoid Labrum, Proximal radioulnar, and Glenoid torn. Pectoral and Trapezius muscle damage, not to mention all the hairline fractures in all his bones from his clavicles to his radii and ulna. It had taken him over a week, even with his abilities in white magic at the time to fully recover from that ordeal.

It was a bad day to lose a bet while out of brownies. Fucking Azazel and cheating Fallen Angels.

"Somehow, I don't think his mind went the direction you intended, Akeno." Rias smiled uncomfortably, getting a shallow nod of agreement from Sona.

"Now I'm more curious as to what amusing stories he's been hiding from us." The accused, contrary to expectations, appeared to be even more interested in Issei after her slip up, the hunger and excitement in her eyes was hard to miss.

"Oh will you shut up? Keep it in your pants." Raynare cut her off, getting up from her seat and moving to the dining room. "Honestly, brats get off on anything these days. Even our idiot host isn't that desperate to get off the second he feels something remotely warm and tingly."

"I don't masturbate." As if set to autopilot, Issei once again stated his abstinence to self-pleasure. After hearing it so many times though, everyone in the room just as easily ignored it.

"Speaking of which. Jackass. If you stall any more with my food, I'll get Asami to bust out her photo album in front of everyone."

And like that he was in the next room with wide eyes of terror.

"Photo album?" The Devils looked at Raynare confused.

"Embarrassing and cute photos of him when he wasn't a total prick. He hates it when she shows it to others. He acts tough most of the time, but under all that bullshit, he's just a kid that gets flustered easily if you know what buttons to press. Problem is that most of those buttons are right next to the ones that make him unbearable." The Fallen elaborated as she followed him out the door.

Rias and Akeno made a mental note to get a peek at said book later as they went to the dining room and sat down to where their bowls were. The table was a bit crowded, as it was only designed for six people comfortably, but it could easily fit everyone if they made room…

"Issei?"

Everyone turned to Asami, who was looking at her son leaving for the kitchen again with a single bowl in hand.

"I'm barely holding it together having this many people here. Don't push it."

The door closed behind him.

"… I think he likes you." Asami stage whispered.

"I heard that woman!"

"Well someone has to be a decent host!"

"I just fucking cooked dinner!"

"Yeah, but I'm not the one they all came here for! You swapped our roles on purpose you insecure runt! If you're so happy with the setup, then I might as well be their classmate and you can be Daddy!"

"Daddy?" Most of the guests turned green.

"Fufufufu." Akeno, clearly not among most guests, giggled with a wicked gleam in her eye that was not missed by anyone.

"Hurk?!" The sound of someone choking was unmistakable, even from the other room.

"Um. What's going on? Why are you yelling?"

And then the mood turned awkward as Asia, the only person there that didn't know Japanese, reminded everyone that she was there.

Asami had the decency to look embarrassed by her slip. Turning to the girl, she swapped instantly to her heavily accented Italian. "Asia-chan, it's, er, sorry. Issei's, what's the word, shy? Shy, around people. I sometimes make fun of him, but it's to get him to relax and forget about being nervous."

"Oh." The nun looked around confused. "But, aren't all these people his friends?"

There was an awkward silence as various looks were shot around.

"We'd like to be." Rias tried to placate the girl. "He's not making it easy, but we'd like to."

Asia looked around confused. Before she could ask or say anything though, her stomach made the most un-Christian like sound that she had probably ever made in her life.

Grroooooooowwwwl.

"Eeep!"

"Ugh. Enough of this." Raynare groaned, picking up her utensils. "Let's eat already."

Everyone murmured in agreement, grabbing their own chopsticks and spoons, and ignoring the Nun who was so embarrassed her face was the same shade as Rias' hair.

"Itadakimasu." Several muttered.

"O father, praise- eh?!" Asia began to pray with her eyes closed, completely missing more than half the room flinching in pain, only to be stopped by Raynare with a quick grab on the shoulder.

"I-ta-da-ki-ma-su." The Fallen spoke slowly, pointing to all the Devils in the room. Asia may have been sheltered, but even she knew by now that the majority of the people she was with were not human.

The nervous girl shrunk under the mixed looks she was getting. "I-itatakumas."

It was clear that it was going to be a while before she got a hang of Japanese.

"Whoaaa. It's good." Saji hummed in approval after his first bite, stirring the noodles, meat, greens, onions and other toppings for extra flavor. "I haven't had pho in a while, but it's really good."

"Mmm." Gasper nodded, also happy with the taste. "It's better if the broth is freshly made, but it takes a while to do that. Senpai probably just used some store brand stock, but he picked a good one. The noodles and vegetables are good too. I didn't expect the onions to be so crisp."

"Is that so?" Rias turned to her bishop. "If it's that good freshly made, I might have us do a club activity one day to make some. It would be wonderful to have more of this."

"Indeed. The broth and noodles are much lighter than normal ramen. They go down so easily, I feel like could eat this all day and not be full." Akeno agreed with a pleased look on her face.

Asami smiled as she saw everyone enjoy their food. It was relieving, seeing people genuinely appreciate Issei's efforts for once instead of merely tolerating it.

Before she took another bite of her meal though, something next to her caught her eye. "Asia-chan?"

The small nun next to her wasn't eating. Her chopsticks were in her hand, but she didn't seem to move with her head bowed down.

"It's warm."

Rias paused as soon as she noticed Asia's condition. "Is something the matter?"

"It's warm." The girl's body began to shake. "The food. This house. It's warm."

It was warm. After being accused and isolated by the Church, her home, her world, for so long. After being abandoned by people that she trusted and being accused as a heretic. After being thrust into the outside world, forced to the other side of the world by Fallen Angels with their false smiles. After nothing but confusion and cold for so long…

It was finally warm.

Asami seemed to know what was about to happen moments before it did, and hugged the trembling girl.

Asia burst out in tears. Like a dam that had finally reached its limit, the outer shell of confusion, curiosity, and politeness gave way to the stress, insecurity, and fear that had been hidden and stored for months on end without release.

"There there. It's ok. You've been through a lot, haven't you?" Asami didn't mind at all that the front of her shirt was getting wet or that the girl she had only met a few hours ago had grabbed onto her as if hanging on for dear life.

"Saw that coming." Raynare wasn't touched by the heartwarming display at all, and instead continued to eat as if watching a Saturday afternoon soap opera.

"Oi. Read the mood." Saji hissed from her other side.

"I saw. I read. I don't care. I'm hungry." The Fallen brushed him off before taking another bite of meat. She had seen enough emotional outbursts over the course of her life that it didn't impact her much anymore. Partially due to the fact that she was responsible for most of them.

Now a good dinner. That could reduce her to tears. Especially if she didn't have to pay for it.

"That guy. He's really all over the place." Rias smiled at the scene, her voice soft enough that only her neighbors could hear her.

"He pretends to be aloof, but there's no mistaking his intentions." Sona agreed, nodding in Asia's direction. "You saw his reaction when he first came in. She was the one he looked at first. He decided on making this dish on the fly, but it was exactly what the girl needed to finally crack through her shell."

"His mother used to this as well. She's not at all uncomfortable or surprised by Asia's reaction. No, I wouldn't be surprised if Asami-san was aiming for this from the start." That was an understatement. The moment Asia had entered the building, Asami seemed to understand exactly what was going through the nervous child's mind and stuck to her side almost instantly. The woman displayed the sort of motherly care that even Rias was envious of.

It wasn't surprising. She probably had loads of experience dealing with Issei.

The girls had been somewhat skeptical about the idea of the sheltered nun staying here, in the presence of an unstable mother and son family plus a violent Fallen Angel… but, the longer they watched, the more they felt that it made more sense than at first glance.

"They're good people." Akeno summed the small family up simply. "Different, crude, and unorthodox at times, but they are kind."

"But how much longer can they keep it up?" Sona's glasses flashed, a small worried frown marred her expression. The yelling. The way mother and son seem to dance around one another when it came to certain topics. It was clear that the two were not holding together up as well as they should be.

They were trying, but sooner or later, it wasn't going to be enough.

Rias frowned as she watched the scene in front of her before coming to a decision and standing up.

"Rias?"

"I'm going to check on Issei. He should be fine if only one or two of us are there."

Seeing what she was doing, Akeno was about to join her, but was surprisingly cut off as Gasper beat her too it. "I-I'll go too. Issei-senpai is used to me."

"Ara." Akeno looked at the bishop with a mix of disappointment, surprise, and pride. "Who would have thought that little Gasper would take the priority like that."

"You can come too." Rias offered.

"No. I'd rather not push our luck. You two are more than enough for now. I'll just try some other time."

After just another moment of hesitation and looking around the room, the two Devils got up and carried their bowls to the kitchen, not noticing Asami watching them leave through the corner of her eyes.

In the next room, they saw Issei asleep, hunched over on the small kitchen table with his food in front of him.

Rias blinked owlishly before groaning in embarrassment. "I should have expected this."

"That's Issei-senpai for you." Gasper shared similar feelings with a shaky smile. "He just does what he feels like, whether you want him to or not."

"Mmm. My brother said something similar. But, it's those feelings that's been tearing him apart the entire time, right?" Rias didn't hesitate to sit across from the sleeping teen.

The young vampire hesitated for only a moment before joining her. "Y-yeah. You're right. He's like me that way. Only, he doesn't want to admit it. I don't blame him either."

"You figured out something?" Rias smiled gently, reading her adorable bishop like a book.

Gasper didn't say anything at first as he got into his seat and looked at his food. "… When I ran away from home, when I was separated from Valerie, when I died… I was saved by you Rias Sempai. You protected me. Defended me. Helped me. Made me feel safe."

"Gasper." Rias smiled gently, patting the small crossdresser affectionately. "Of course I would. You're precious to me. But Issei's not alone. He has Asami-san, and…"

"No, that's not what I mean." Gasper interrupted her, much to her surprise. It wasn't often that the small boy ever felt the need to take the initiative unless his nerves got so out of hand that he started to panic.

"I'm weak. My powers are strong, but I'm weak, and scared, and can't do anything by myself. You know it, I know it, everyone does. I was so weak that you had to lock me away because I can't control myself. And that's why I, was dead when you found me. But Issei-senpai is, strong. He's really strong. Super strong. I can feel it sometimes. Stronger than me. Stronger than you. Stronger than Asami-san. He's strong, but he still got hurt just as bad as me if not worse, and now that strength is barely enough to keep him together. After what happened to me… I had you to keep me up and make me feel safe. To make me believe that everything was going to be all right. To stop me from falling apart. But, Issei-semapi…"

"Didn't have anyone that was capable of the same." Rias realized what Gasper was getting at with a sinking feeling of horror.

Akeno. Gasper. Koneko. Kiba. She had saved all of the members of her Peerage at one point or another. She had been the one they looked up to and relied upon. She had been stronger than them. Her family, resources and brother had provided an extra layer of protection and support that they knew they could fall back on if Rias wasn't enough. It was not just a matter of emotional support that she had supplied them, but a sense of tangible security as well.

Whoever had gone after Issei in the first place, the person responsible for his condition, was still out there somewhere. A person that could influence the actions of the Three Factions. A person that may or may not still be looking for him.

The threat of the same trauma from five years ago repeating itself was a very real possibility to Issei. Either by the original culprit, or by someone else for that matter.

Considering the care and secrecy involved that everyone important seemed to use with anything related to him in the first place, she doubted that things had calmed down as well.

If his name or location got out to the wrong people, something bad was guaranteed to happen. Something that even she was not allowed to know about.

It reminded her of a dark joke she heard from a movie once.

It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you.

Gasper was right. Issei was strong. And contrary to what most would assume, it had only made the young man's situation just as, if not worse in hindsight. The few people around him were either not physically strong, like his mother, or supposedly, too emotionally unreliable to provide him comfort like Ophis.

No wonder he rarely takes anyone seriously.

"What do we do?" Gasper asked her.

"I…" Rias hesitated. "I think, the best we can do now is not leave him alone. Even if he tries to push us away."

"He really won't like that." He could already imagine just how annoyed Issei was going to get if they tried to assert themselves too much.

Even now, the young vampire could see his host shifting uncomfortably in his sleep, moving one of his arms and…

"Uh. Rias-senpai?"

"I'm going to have to do some research on this." She didn't seem to hear him as she leaned on the table with her head propped on one of her hands, already too busy thinking about how to approach this puzzle. While she wasn't professionally trained in any way, Rias did like to think that she was somewhat of a practiced hand when it came to counseling troubled youths, what with her entire peerage being a circus of emotional issues in itself.

Heck, a good portion of the books she owned were child abuse psychology texts. The irony that she was not exactly an adult was not lost on her.

"Rias-senpai. I really don't think leaning on the table like that is a good idea right now…"

Then again, where would she even begin to look? A general understanding of Issei's issues was a good step in the right direction, but she highly doubted that she'd be able to find something that matched his condition exactly. Not many troubled youths were already stronger than most high class devils and had a legitimate excuse to not trust the strength of some of the most influential people in reality.

She'd have to do this slowly and wear away the walls Issei put up around himself one at a time, lest she bring down the entire foundation on top of herself.

"N-no way. He's actually going to do it while asleep?!"

Gasper had gotten her foot in the door, but in order to go any further, she had to ease her way in. The training tomorrow would help in spades. It would get everyone to learn more about one another. Get him invested into them on a personal level, even if he pretended or wanted to believe otherwise.

She was feeling tingles all over. Just how would he train them? Weights? Running? Strategy. Maybe he'd join them and take his shirt off, showing that glistening skin and fit body that seemed so out of place for a shut in.

Her breath quickened, and her face flushed. Maybe he'd even give them private attention and…

"R-Rias-senpai!"

"Eh?" The Devil snapped out of her fantasizing, only to realize that her body was still very much tingling all over, especially her chest.

Her chest.

Her chest, more importantly, her breast that was currently being fondled by the still unconscious Issei with his arm reaching across the table. His normally cold and stern face had melted into practically putty, with a lazy yet satisfied smile donned as if enjoying a hot bath.

"Mmmm. Oppai."

o. o. o.

"I'm so sorry." Asami apologized for the hundredth time that night as Rias and the others were preparing to leave. "I completely forgot he did that. It's been so long since he's been around people in general that I thought he grew out of that habit."

On a side note, she was using one arm to hold Issei's head so far down that he was having trouble standing up. Apparently, his misdeed had been big enough that he didn't react violently to being manhandled at the moment.

"You mean he used to grope women in his sleep when he was a child?" One of Sona's eyebrow twitched.

"Damn it woman! Let go of me!"

"No! You screwed up again! Bow and repent!"

"I'm falling! I'm seriously about to fall!"

"Good idea! You're not repenting enough! Taste it! Taste the ground to show your remorse!"

Everyone watching could only laugh nervously at the display. It was impossible to deny that the two were mother and son from the way they interacted.

"R-really. There's no need. It was an accident." Rias tried to placate the mother. "He made everyone dinner, and it is somewhat my fault that he skipped school this week in the first place, so let's just call it even, ok?"

The Gremory's face was still flushed from earlier. Partially from embarrassment.

Partially because the breast that Issei had managed to latch onto was still tingling in a way that she was going to need Akeno's, "help", to resolve when she got back home.

"Says you. Push harder Asami-san! He's almost on his knees!" Raynare cheered from inside the building. It was starting to be more apparent that the Fallen didn't seem to care much about keeping up her false persona in front of the woman.

"Cougar I swear I am going to destroy you the second my sight isn't occupied with my shins!"

"Ara. I'm a bit surprised. I didn't think that Issei was this flexible." Akeno half teased. Most people would lose their center of balance after being bent over so far, but he was still firm with two feet on the ground, albeit under duress.

"He took dancing and martial arts classes when he was younger." Asami stated as if it was an offhand comment. "He could even do splits at one point, though I doubt this idiot is capable of it now."

"Write them a book why don't you!?"

"I would if I ever felt like writing a horror story."

"I like her." Akeno couldn't help but voice her approval of the woman.

"You're too kind."

"You all suck."

Asami's hand flexed, pressing down on several sensitive nerves at the base of his skull.

"Owowowowow! Careful! Those are my occipital nerves!"

"I know they are. You're the one that taught me about them."

"Abuse! This is abuse! You are using your child's generosity against him with your clammy man hands! I demand compensation for my lost misplaced trust!"

"Clammy man hands?" Clench.

"Gah!"

Just as amused as everyone else by the display, (save for Sona, who seemed to particularly revel in Issei's suffering for some reason), Rias still felt the need to stop it before things got too far. With a loud cough, she acquired everyone's attention. "Despite being sidetracked by, well, everything, I really am glad you're ok Issei. I'm sorry that you're still uncomfortable being around us, but I do hope that you'll warm up eventually. We don't have any intention of hurting you."

"Yeah well, funny thing about hurting others is that you don't need intention to pull it off. If anything, not intending it makes it worse. Odd how everyone conveniently keeps on forgetting that bit." Issei grunted in a low tone that made it hard to tell if he meant to say it out loud or not. "Of course, that still doesn't excuse intended pain, like for example having the blood and nerves on the back of my head being abused get your claw off me for fucks sake woman!"

"Ugh. Fine. You can have your head back, crybaby. Not like you actually use it." Rolling her eyes, she let go of her son.

"Any longer and I wouldn't have been able to use it at all." The teen grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck tenderly. "You can stop babysitting me and start babysitting the Ninja Puppy again. I'm fine, and we still need a room prepared for her, right?"

Asami huffed and crossed her arms. "I was half prepared for guests the second you actually agreed to going along with Azazel-san's plan. But, I guess there are a few things I can help that child out with for tonight. Poor thing is still pretty shaken up."

She turned to the group and bowed. "Thank you for taking time out of your day to check up on my idiot son. I'm sorry he can be such a handful. Please let me know if you need anything in the future."

The teens watched as she went back inside the house and began pulling the suitcase Asia had brought with her up the stairs.

"She's a good mother." Sona nodded in approval.

"And I'm a shit son." Issei sighed, his face unreadable as he was facing away from the group.

"Issei…" Rias started before he cut her off.

"I'm just stating facts. Pity doesn't get anything done, so don't bother." He turned around to face them. "Training on the other hand does. Is the school available tomorrow morning?"

Sona frowned in thought, slightly thankful for the change in topic. "Yes, and we can mask our magical signatures, but I would prefer it if we didn't do something so potentially destructive on the grounds. Some of our abilities are rather violent. Fixing it isn't an issue, but I'd rather not go through the effort if we can avoid it."

"I'll try keep that in mind." Issei rolled his eyes, as if what she had said was beyond obvious. "Just bring both your peerages over. Tomorrow's going to be an intro course so we know where we all stand. I can't train you if I don't know what the hell you can do in the first place."

"You sound confident that you can help us." Akeno was genuinely curious. "Not to sound rude, but I'm interested in how a human can help train so many Devils to be stronger quickly."

"You'd be surprised." Not really. All things considered, Devils were by far the easiest of the three main faction's species to train. The only thing that held them back was the user's limited power, perspective, and creativity. He'd be pissed off at himself if he couldn't make them at least slightly competent within the next week or two. "But not all of you are Devils. Cougar's joining too."

"Ah? Dead brat say what now?" A clearly not pleased Fallen Angel asked from the living room.

"I said that you're training too you lazy shit." Issei called back inside.

"Give me one good reason why I should do that."

"Damn it Zaz, why did you load me with this useless…" He clearly was trying hard not to lose his short temper. The stick rarely worked with this one, so he'd have to depend on the carrot he had been holding back since she got here. "Do you want to get four wing status this century or not?"

That caught nearly everyone by surprise. Fallen Angels could grow in power, and their wings did signify just how strong they were, but ways to expedite that growth were few and far in between, especially if one wasn't naturally gifted.

If getting stronger was simply a matter of simple training, nearly all Angels and Fallen would at least have three pairs of wings by now.

There was a brief pause before Raynare appeared behind him, the look on her face was unreadable. "… Are you serious? Do you actually know a way for me to get to a higher tier?"

"No." He stated flatly, for once ignoring the looks that he was getting. "I know several. But they won't work on lazy shits that do nothing but eat all day and drink all night."

"Several?" She blinked in genuine surprise before schooling herself. "Bullshit. If there were that many ways, then Azazel-sama would have been using them already."

"Unless, of course, he lacks the ability, the means, the people, or the materials required to do so."

"And you do?" Saji asked the obvious question.

Issei shrugged nonchalantly. "Who knows? There has to be a reason why the higher ups of the three Factions won't leave me alone."

"Good god you're so full of bullshit it's a wonder you're not constipated." Raynare deadpanned.

"Look, do you want power like every other stereotypical generic Fallen Angel grunt or not?"

Judging from her clenched jaw, the ebony haired beauty was at war with herself. Her greed for power clashing with her pride and hatred at the idea of admitting that she was in any way a stereotypical generic Fallen Angel Grunt. Her greed won out in the end, barely, and she turned around with a huff to go further in the building. "Tch. Fine. Yes. I want to be stronger. You happy? Just grab me when it starts or whatever."

"That went well." Saji muttered.

"You think it's a good idea to make her stronger? She's not exactly an ally of yours." Rias looked worried.

"Probably not, but she's ambitious like most Fallen. And she isn't a complete idiot. If I do keep my word and bump her up a rank, sooner or later she'll realize that I could probably make her even more powerful if she sticks around and plays nice." The lone human shrugged. "That and she knows she doesn't stand a chance in hell against me if she pushes her luck. Heck, she can have six wings and I'd still one shot her no problem."

Six wings? Rias looked at him with a curious look. It wasn't on the level of a seraph, but still, beings with that much power were no joke.

"That is another thing I have issues with. I find it somewhat vexing that she was trusted with your identity, but we aren't despite the fact that we are making more of an effort to get on your good side." Sona shifted her glasses in a way that was clear that she disproved of what was going on.

"Not my fault. Blame the Satans and Zaz for that. If you're expecting me to open up to you with my life's story, you're going to be waiting a long time." Issei didn't budge.

"Sona, it's fine." Rias chided her friend before the latter could speak. "If he doesn't want to tell us, that's his business. We've prodded enough as it is."

The Sitri looked like she had something on her tongue, but she held it after a few moments deliberation. "… Fine. However, if you do become a problem, then we will have the truth from you."

"Ha!" Surprisingly, the young man burst out in a loud and bitter laugh. "Hahahaha! Tell the truth! Now they want the truth!"

"Issei-kun?" Akeno blinked in tandem with everyone else.

"Sorry." He chuckled with a strained grin, but his eyes flashed momentarily with something that could only be considered pure rage. "It's just, what you said is just so disgustingly ironic that I have to laugh or else I really might punch something."

Sona, Rias and Akeno paused for a moment before they paled. They had just been told by Asami how Issei had been accused as a child of a crime that he had been the victim of, and how nearly everything his life had been turned against him in the following year trying to prove he was innocent.

Of course he had tried to tell people the truth, but no one would listen or help him then. The few that did listen didn't stay around to help.

For Sona to accuse him of not telling the truth now…

"I-I'm sorry." For once, the calm and collected image that Sona perpetually had up had given way to genuine remorse and uncertainty. "It was a poor choice of words and-"

"For fucks sake, shut up you idiot. That fake mature businesswoman act you're constantly putting up is more annoying than the Cougar." Issei cut her off with a glare. "Just, just leave already, before I say something that I won't be able to take back."

"F-fake?"

Saji frowned. He was confused and somewhat unnerved by Issei's anger, but he did not tolerate anyone talking to his King like that. He stepped up to his underclassman with the authority of a senior in a higher position of social standing. "Hey! It was an accident! She was just trying to apologize and you-"

"Shut up."

The high school senior in a higher position of social standing froze in place, his mouth clamping shut with a clack. What was even more terrifying was that Issei wasn't even looking at him.

"Turn around."

Saji did a 180 on the spot, his body standing at attention.

"Leave."

At a brisk, yet normal pace, the young man left the property without paying anyone else any mind, much to their shock.

"How, did you do that?" Akeno blinked, trying to figure out what just happened.

"He's a runt. He knows his place." Issei's cold answer was vague, but it was clear that he was alluding to something in particular. Regardless, he seemed more interested in treating a headache than them at the moment, given by how hard he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

Sona paused before remembering something. "Saji reacted oddly when we first walked into the house. His Sacred Gear is dragon based, and you call him a runt. It couldn't be, that you…"

"I thought I told you to leave." He rose his voice slightly, almost articulating just how annoyed he was. "For fuck's sake, I understand that you are trying to make yourself stand out of your sister's shadow, but I thought you would have at least had the sense to try and pick up her horrifying ability to read others. I'm not exactly hard to figure out."

Rias frowned in confusion. "Serafall's ability to read others?"

"Sona, what is he talking about?" Akeno turned to the School President.

Said President didn't respond. Instead she was struck still in shock.

"Sona?" Rias spoke louder.

"Y-you know, about Nee-sama?" The lithe girl was pale as if she was confronting something that she didn't want to talk about.

"She wasn't made head of Foreign Affairs just because she looks good as a Magical Girl and has good Oppai." Issei rolled his eyes. "And that position isn't one that a person can keep simply because they happen to be an Ultimate Class Devil and had decent political backup. The ceasefire between the factions would never have lasted as long as it has if it did. She really is ahead of the curve in that regard. In a way, she's scarier than the rest of the Maou."

"You've talked to her." Sona's statement seemed to carry more weight than it seemed, if the awe and horror in her voice was any indication.

"Eight years ago. She thought I was cute and funny. And then I made a comment about her having a midlife crisis. And then she flash froze me. We had pizza that night." He sighed as if being almost killed wasn't a big deal.

"I think I'm most surprised that you remember what you had for dinner eight years ago." Gasper noted.

"What? Pizza in the underworld has different toppings that you can't get here. It's kinda hard to forget when someone asks if you want kraken eyeballs on a Sicilian for the first time."

"He does have a point." Akeno mused, recalling the several times she underwent culture shock when she was taken in by Rias' family.

"Enough about the pizza!" Sona snapped. He was doing it again. Changing the topic of conversation away from himself. "How do you know about my sister?"

"I talked to her. Obviously." Issei clearly was playing games with her.

"Sona. Can you please explain to me what you are talking about?" Rias was starting to get annoyed now.

"You, when you were not even ten years old…" Her glasses slipped slightly down her nose, as if intentionally displaying just how bewildered she was. "Impossible. Nee-sama's always been careful when it came to talking to others. There's no way she'd take you seriously, even if, no, especially if you were a child then."

Issei was clearly getting tired of the conversation if his groaning was any indication. "Believe what you want. Or you can talk to her yourself. I don't care what you do. Just go away already before you say something stupid again."

"It seriously hurts me to hear that from you of all people."

"I figured."

Sona grit her teeth, and drew her breath to say something before thinking better of it and shaking her head in resignation. "This isn't over Hyoudou."

"It never is."

Rias held back a groan as her friend gave everyone a shallow bow and a quick goodbye before leaving. "Issei, I don't know what you just did, but did you really have to do it? We're not your enemies."

"I like my privacy and my personal space." His tone was firm. "They're among the few things I have left that I actually value, and both have been poked and prodded more in the past few hours than they have in the past five years. By you. By the enabler. By those idiots in Heaven. And if I'm not careful, by those potentially obliterated fools that kidnapped the Ninja Puppy. Don't push it."

"We were just…"

"Checking up on me. I know. And… I'm not holding that against you." He seemed to have trouble figuring out the right words to say. Unlike with Sona, Issei seemed less aggressive when talking to Rias. More willing to think about the words he used. "But you overestimated me. I don't do people, especially when they appear in my home without prior warning. So far, that's happened twice today in quick succession."

He was pretty sure that if any more people had been in his house that night, he would have completely snapped. He had spent most of the time in the kitchen for their sake as much as his own.

"Issei-sempai." Gasper fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable with where this was going.

The Sekiryuutei paused to look at his underclassman skeptically before sighing loudly. "Fine. I get it. I'll try and "play nice". Not that it's ever gotten me anywhere."

Rias was severely conflicted. On the one hand, Issei had more or less picked apart or obliterated nearly all of the good will he had earned over the past week. On the other, it looked like Gasper was genuinely in the troubled teen's good books and had a sliver of trust built up.

"Tonight's been, interesting." She voiced her thoughts. "A lot more happened than we anticipated. This really could have been timed better."

Issei let out a brief laugh. "Story of my damn life. I'm always in the right place at the wrong time. It'd be hilarious if I wasn't so screwed over sideways every time it happened."

"Things would probably go better for you if you didn't lose your temper every five seconds." Akeno dryly commented.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to behave despite my extreme enochlophobia and PTSD firing nonstop while being forced to spend time with a building with a bunch of idiots hyped up on magic and organic chemicals due to being in the middle of demonic puber…ty…" Issei's sarcastic ranting slowed down into an awkward stop, as he clearly realized something.

"Something the matter?" Rias was confused.

Instead of responding, he facepalmed so hard that the Devils actually felt it.

"I. Am. An idiot." There was a brief pause. "Ow."

Akeno blinked. "Because you realized that you're also…"

He cut her off, holding his hand in the universal gesture for stop. "Shshsh! No talking!"

The three watched as the hand on his face began to glow white and green with magic. It stayed in place for several awkward moments before moving to his neck, chest, stomach, and groin.

"… Well. Shit." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in thought. Thankfully, the hand doing so was not the one that had just been cupping his nutsack in a white light.

"So, puberty." Akeno resumed. "I don't know why you are so alarmed. It happens to everyone you know. Although I don't think that gives you an adequate excuse to feel yourself in front of others."

Issei ignored her and looked at Rias. "Weeb. You know of the spiritual osmosis effect that beast type sacred gears have?"

"Spiritual Osmosis?" Gasper echoed, never hearing of that term before.

"It's when owners develop notable physical traits of the beast souls that their Sacred Gears have…" Rias frowned before realizing what Issei was getting at. "You mean?"

"I woke up my Dragon based Sacred Gear when I was seven, and I developed it significantly since. I'm not going through puberty. As stupid as it sounds, I'm going through the fucking Dragon equivalent. The hormone and testosterone cocktail that's pumping through my body is leagues more potent than what I should be getting. Or realistically be able to handle without either going insane, or trying to hump everything in sight." He groaned. "Damn it. I can't do anything right."

Dragonic Puberty. It sounded like a childishly bad joke in hindsight, but in reality, dragons going through that cycle of development were among some of the most aggressive beasts out there. They were liable to attack anything that came across their path, regardless of their chances of winning.

Whoever thinks that is was logically and universally a smarter idea to train kids to awaken world altering powers earlier clearly needed to be shot in the face. Many times. They never contemplate the potential impact said powers could have on a person's growth and biology or what said results could be.

It was also one of the main reasons why many of the Boosted Gear and Divine Dividing owners in the past that had awakened their powers early had died. Hyper hormonal teenagers, short tempers, and raw reality bending power rarely mixed well.

Especially if the users had, say, replaced a part or two of their bodies with its dragonic equivalent. If there was any blessing, it was that the parts that Issei had altered had next to no role to play in his natural development.

Then again, he was cutting it close in regards to his thyroid gland…

Bottom line? On top of the dozen or so mental issues he currently had, Issei also had to deal with constantly being doped to the gills by his own body that made his frayed hold on his emotions now combustible as if they were soaked in petrol.

It's not like children are well known to make mistakes and poor decisions based on their emotions more than the rest of the human race. What harm could giving them potentially world shattering superpowers do?

There was a reason why magical girls, and teenagers in general, were considered an unreliable long term security resource across most reasonable universes.

"I thought you were advanced in medical training. How would you have missed something like this?" Akeno pondered.

"There's a reason why the saying "the worst patient a doctor can have is another doctor" is a running joke in the medical community."

For five years he had locked himself inside and maintained minimal contact with others.

That didn't mean he neglected his own health though. Just the opposite. He made sure that he gave himself biannual checkups, looked for abnormalities, hell, he even did blood tests. But the idea that his system had changed enough that he was going through Dragon's Puberty had not once crossed his mind until he mentioned his unnaturally short temper and puberty in the same sentence. The few times he noticed that his numbers were high, he assumed that the abnormality was just a small spike from going through an earlier episode he might have gone through that day. He never thought that said abnormalities were what he was running on every day.

"Ddraig? Anything you want to say for yourself? Like, whoops?" There was no way that the crimson dragon in his arm didn't anticipate this ahead of time.

"Honestly, by the time puberty hit, everything had long since gone to hell. You were already locked up in your room and trying to keep your head in check with or without my help. Knowing that it was going to be harder for you because of puberty wouldn't have gotten anything accomplished." The dragon waved off Issei's accusation. "After a while, I just forgot about telling you."

"You FORGOT? Oh so help me, the second I am out of everyone's sight I am going to destroy you, you sunburnt Alzheimer's suffering, lazy FUCKING-"

"Do you need any help?" Rias asked, knowing that this new revelation was something that even Issei was worried about.

"I…" For a brief moment it felt like he was going to say something out of reflex, but caught himself with a grimace, as though he really didn't want to fight the urge. "… Might. I have to think about this first. Do research. I didn't notice it before because I've always blamed my temper on my trauma, and I locked myself away after my life went to hell, but, damn, you have no idea how lucky we are in a twisted way."

"Lucky? How so?" Akeno was curious now.

"Dragonic Puberty is, for lack of a better word, extreme. Heightened testosterone. Heightened hormones. Enhanced apocrine sweat gland size and activity. Overactive hypothalamus triggering enlarged adrenal glands with the slightest poke, flooding my system with a disgustingly potent brand of cortisone for days. The works. Under most circumstances, I should be instinctively flirting, groping, humping, or physically fighting with every person that comes into sight."

Gasper gasped. "That's horrifying. No wonder Dragons are so scary. They can't help but act like thugs."

"… Oi." That actually hurt. He didn't like the way the Damphir was looking at him in pity. He was a jerk, but one with actual an educated and desirable skillset. Not some poor moron in a leather jacket that wanders the streets at night. Was that how everyone saw him these days? Stop. Please. He'll cut back on the harsh language and be more careful with his words. Just don't look at him like that anymore.

"That does sound in line with what I've heard." Rias agreed with him while simultaneously trying to remember what half of the body parts that Issei spouted off did in general. "How are you able to keep yourself in check though? No, how is it that no one noticed it until now?"

"You mean outside of the fact that I've locked myself away for the entirety of my teenage life, minimizing human contact and thus assuming my temper was a result of my extreme PTSD?" He asked her skeptically. "Easy. Porn."

It was the way he said it with a completely straight face that caught the Devils completely flatfooted. "… Eh?"

"I have been watching porn neigh religiously for almost a decade." Issei elaborated, completely serious. "I've watched so much porn, that it's gotten to the point that simply seeing the naked female body or talking about any kind of sex doesn't do jack for me. Likewise, I have heard and seen virtually every flirting technique both here and in hell, so verbally interacting with women also has nearly no effect on me. If anyone tried, the first thing I would instinctively do is grade their performance."

"Wooow." Gasper looked at Issei with glimmering eyes of adoration.

Issei held back his tears. No young Dio. Please. Do not be impressed. It is not something to be proud of. Even the greatest of evil beings should not render themselves numb to the magnificence of oppai in any way. It is a curse. Not a blessing.

"Sight and sound have no effect. That sounds rather depressing." Akeno mused, folding one arm under her breasts and the other holding her head up as if thinking and pitying him at the same time. No doubt she was testing the validity of his statement. "I suppose that explains your tendency of grading a girl's looks from last week. Ignoring taste, what about touch and smell?"

He flinched, hoping to ignore that topic. "You already know I hate being touched by people in general. I already avoid physical contact with others on principle. The smell of a woman though… could have been a big problem."

Rias paled as she realized what he was hinting at. Devils and Fallen women in particular are geared for seducing, to the point that their very smells can entice other beings with low self-control.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Kuoh's student body was vastly female.

The amount of female pheromones going around would be enough to drive someone with Issei's disposition genuinely insane.

"Could?" Akeno picked up on the key word with some skepticism.

"Like I said, we're lucky." He shook his head. He held up a finger, and soon enough there was a small funnel of dirt and air swirling around it. "My nose is sensitive. I have a habit of filtering what I can smell for one reason or another. I've been doing it for years. This includes pheromones. I've been dodging probably the worst bullet of them all by complete accident for weeks."

"That just leaves your temper." Gasper got to the last roadblock. Issei's been dealing with it for so long that by the time he was hit with the worst of the effects of puberty, he probably thought that it was just life as normal and dealt with it like he always did without knowing it.

"Is there anything that can calm you down? Other than the tea that Akeno made earlier?" Rias finally asked a question that had been plaguing her and Sona for a while. "We asked your mother, but she was too busy, well, we gave her some samples of the tea earlier and she was rather excited about it."

Issei brightened up. "You brought that tea? Why didn't you say that earlier?"

"Issei-kun. We want you relaxed when we spoke to you today. Not comatose." Akeno chided before pausing for a moment. "… Most… some… a portion of us do at least."

"Akeno." Rias hissed.

"We weren't the ones cradling the tea like a newborn."

Just put it away Issei. Bury these painful memories down deep with the rest of the unmentionables. No one will ever blame you for it. Just like the time you accidentally saw mom-no! The memories are trying to escape! Burn them! Salt the land! They must not know freedom!

Aah. Some tea now would be really nice-wait! Stop! Don't fall for the trap! It's what they want!

No one bothered to bring up the fact that he was pouting and crying like a child.

"I-Issei… san?"

The group paused, as the one that called his name didn't come from outside the home, but inside.

They turned to see Asia standing uncomfortably nearby. Her habit was off of her head, allowing her golden hair to be seen by everyone, and she was not looking at anyone in the eyes, but it was clear that she was there for Issei and-

*Boing*

SWEET MAMMARIES OF GABRIEL THE GIRL HAS AN AHOGE!

"Uh, Sempai?" Gasper wasn't the only one slightly confused by how Issei seemed to be hypnotized by the stray strand of golden blonde hair of Asia's that seemed to defy gravity.

"Uh… huh?" The Sekiryuutei barely seemed to register the outside world, his head bobbing in time with Asia's hair.

BEAUTIFUL! A WORK OF NATURE'S ART IN MOTION! SERIOUSLY HOW MANY NICHE FETISH QUALIFICATIONS DID THE NINJA PUPPY FULFIL?! HOW MANY MORE SECRETS WAS SHE HIDING?!

"Oi. Partner. Not that I'm ever going to join you during one of your moments, but the Gremory Heiress has one of those hair things too." Ddraig pointed out through their mental connection.

"Nonsense Ddraig. While the Weeb's hair is indeed luxurious and high quality, her Ahoge is feeble, coming and going like the wind. It lacks the definition and strength of the work of art in front of us."

Rias didn't know why, but she suddenly felt extremely self-conscious despite the fact that everyone was focused on Issei and Asia. The lone strand of hair that she could never brush down was also flickering about more erratically than normal for some reason.

"Honestly. You're as unreasonable as always." Despite being distracted, Issei still managed to pick up a hint of satisfaction in his partner's voice for some reason. Almost as if he was pleased about something. "You might want to stop. You're starting to scare the child."

"… Eh?" He blinked in confusion before looking a little bit down to see Asia shifting uncomfortably with a blush on her cheeks and tears in her eyes. "Oh."

Well at the very least, his eyes were on her face now.

He was genuinely confused. She couldn't speak Japanese yet, so why would she approach him? Maybe his mom needed help setting up her room?

Damn. This was going to be a bigger pain than he thought. Somehow he doubted that she knew English, so that meant that he was going to be busy learning Italian and teaching Japanese for the next few weeks on top of taking care of the Devils. He had a spare laptop stored away somewhere, and it wouldn't take long to download an Italian to Japanese learning program from the internet, but in the end, constant interaction and submerging oneself in the language were the best ways to-

"…"

He looked down confused, and saw a familiar head of golden hair pressed against his chest.

Along with the rest of her body. And her arms wrapped around him.

She was hugging him.

"… Hah?" He summed his thoughts adequately.

"Eh?" The Devils watching events unfold were of similar thoughts.

"Thank you." The former nun muttered into his chest. "I know you can't understand me, but thank you. Lord Michael told me that you're hurt. You're hurt like me, so badly you're terrified of trusting people anymore. You've been like this for years. I can't imagine what you've gone through, but even then, you still helped me. Your home. Your food. Your family. Your actions. They're all warm. You're warm, but, I can tell. You haven't felt it in a long time. You're so lonely, it hurts, and the pain makes it impossible to forget. It hurts so bad that anything that looks like it might make things worse terrifies you, even if it's the opposite."

Something told Issei that he really should be feeling touched or emotional right now. He also felt that that something was relentlessly enjoying his confusion.

"Fufufu."

Scratch that. It was just the closet yandere chick. Did the Ninja Puppy even notice that there was an audience? Wait, no, she's a Ninja Puppy. Attacking where there were witnesses would be the last place he'd expect.

He had been careless!

The Ninja Puppy had shown her true colors! She had gotten in his guard! She had struck before he could react! She was… she was…

She was… pleasantly soft.

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

Why the hell wasn't he freaking out about being touched like this in the first place? Even his mother couldn't hug him spontaneously like this without setting all his nerves on end. By all rights, right now his mind and body should be flooded with uncontrollable blinding rage, indignation, and fear against his will.

No. Rather, instead of freaking out, he was actually calming down. This wasn't normal. This shouldn't be happening. This was warm, and he could feel her body press against him through their NO! No! Do not get distracted! Something isn't right! Something is seriously not right!

He was so caught up in trying to figure out what was going on that he didn't realize that his normal annoyed expression had been replaced with a childish bewilderment. For a few moments, he actually looked like his age.

"I want to help you. Just like you helped me." Asia muttered into his chest before finally breaking contact. "It'll take some time, and you'll probably hate it, but that's how the healing process works. It's what I do. It's all I'm good for now."

Bowing politely to the devils and saying goodbye, Asia turned back into the house and up the stairs to where Asami was still setting up her room, leaving everyone else behind completely dumbstruck.

After what seemed like an eternity of awkward confusion, Issei slowly turned to them, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"… The fuck just happened?"

"She, she hugged you?" Gasper summarized, just as confused.

"… HOW?!"

Most young children were kept up worrying about the monster under their beds eating them.

He was worried about the Blonde Italian Ninja Puppy Nun with the perfect Ahoge surprise hugging him.

It was a long and confusing night for Issei.

o. o. o.

"Kuoh should be under watch within the hour. Not a single member of the three factions should be able to leave it by air or by teleportation without our knowing." Azazel stated his findings to the Maou and Michael. "In other news, I just verified our suspicions with Raynare. It wasn't a fluke. The bearer of Twilight Healing is able to touch Issei without setting him off. Even when he isn't prepared for it. Apparently the girl just hugged him from out of nowhere a few minutes ago without a scratch. I think Issei was more confused about his lack of reaction than anyone else."

"That can only mean one thing." Beelzebub mused.

"She's an unrecognized dragon tamer." Serafall cheered. "How lucky can we get? We've been looking for a suitable tamer that might get along with Issei for years and one literally just lands into his hands! Any of the other ones we found were either grumpy old meat heads or greedy bitches. Jasmine-chan's gonna flip when she finds out! And laugh her ass off when she finds out it's a nun of all people!"

"Luck, or convenient?" Sirzechs didn't seem as optimistic.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I believe it is actually luck this time." Michael answered the question. "The Church has always kept the bearers of Twilight Healing under heavy guard. There is no possible way that anyone would have known she was a dragon tamer before her kidnapping."

"That still doesn't excuse why she was in Kuoh in the first place." Falbium poured cold water on their excitement, making the meeting dead quiet again.

"… You think it's her." Sirzechs said what everyone was thinking.

"In one way or another. That girl rarely ever dirties her own hands unless she has to." Falbium sighed. "Just like how the Phoenixes only started to push for Rias' engagement after she was granted the right to oversee Kuoh. How long do you think she'd wait after Rias returns to the underworld before she "offers" Sona her assistance?"

"An eternity. At the earliest." Serafall's voice was sweet and sugary. Completely in contrast to the faint hint of murder that accompanied it. Clearly she had high standards as to who could spend time with her sister. Standards that would be met, one way or another.

"Put out one fire and two more pop up." Azazel groaned, leaning back in his seat. "If there's one thing you have to give that girl credit for, it's her tenacity. When she wants something, she goes for it. I guess this confirms our suspicions. She knows where Issei is."

"This plan of yours is appearing less appealing by the second Sirzechs." Falbium grumbled. "The Phoenixes are pushing to expedite the engagement harder by the week. Your sister will be in a corner within a month rather than the anticipated year we first assumed. We need more time for Issei to adjust to the world again. If he does go through with the plan, he will be found out one way or another, meaning that he'll be targeted again sooner than he's probably ready for."

"I must admit to something." Michel spoke up. "In order to maintain Issei's trust, I have alluded vaguely to the wedding and Sirzech's intent to have Issei disrupt it. The boy is aware that something is coming soon now, but none of the specifics."

Ajuka Beelzebub groaned along with half the room. "Damn it Michael. The last thing we need is to put Issei on edge this early when we're still trying to build up trust with him. Hanging something that big in front of him while holding so much back is the last thing we need."

"And springing it up on him when it does come is any better?" The archangel frowned. "The boy's barely keeping himself together as it is. And his trust in us is not doing much better. He would have no doubt interpreted things in the worst possible way if we had waited too long. I explained to him why we had to be so secretive, and thankfully he was understanding enough to not completely separate himself from us."

"I think that Michael-chan did the right thing." Serafall hummed, as if thinking of something interesting. "Issei-chan's not stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if he figures out everything if he was handed the wedding invitation right now. Even the things that Rias-chan doesn't know. He's always been scary perceptive that way. No. Depending on what Michael-chan has told him, it's possible that he might have figured it out already. Issei-chan might get mad at us, but this way, at least he won't hold us responsible. He's not like that."

"Not if we handle the aftermath of everything correctly, at least." Beelzebub pointed out firmly, getting nods of agreement from the others. What they were trying to do could easily go wrong if they weren't careful.

"Aftermath? Don't you mean fallout?" Azazel snorted, flexing his prosthetic arm. "I am attached to my new limb, but I'm not too keen on actually needing another one anytime soon. I'm sure that the rest of you share similar sentiments."

Their connection was ominously quiet. Each and every person participating had suffered the consequences for failing to keep their promises to Issei that day in one form or another, and not one of them would dare to let it happen a second time.

o. o. o.

Eight Years ago:

"You look like you need a drink."

Baraquiel looked away from Issei, who was nose deep in a book of theoretical white magic and its effects on various species, going through it as if the tome was cursed, to see Ichirou smiling with a bottle of beer in each hand.

"Am I that transparent?" The Cadre Class Fallen Angel laughed dryly, not even hesitating to take the opened drink offered to him despite experience and common sense telling him to turn it down in case the offering was poisoned.

That, and the brand offered tasted like dog piss.

"Maybe. Then again, it's not hard for one overworked husband and father to recognize another in their time of need." Ichirou shrugged, lifting his own drink in a mock toast.

"You do realize that part of my job involves dealing with your kid."

"All the more reason for a little treat every now and then." The human downed a few gulps, ignoring the look his fellow father was giving him.

Unsure of what to say, Baraquiel followed suit moments later, holding back a grimace from the poor taste of his drink.

"Wife and daughter, right?" Ichirou broke the awkward silence.

"Mmm. Shuri and Akeno. Those two…"

"Make it all worth it." The human nodded. "Don't I know it. Life wouldn't be the same without them. No matter what trials they bring."

Baraquiel somehow doubted that his drinking buddy could relate to going through thousands of years of on and off again war with your kin, only to have that numbing hell be broken by suddenly falling in love one day. But then again, not many Fallen actually got married in general either. Their instincts and drive to sin in one way or another tended to make extended relationships rather difficult. Only the most capable could reign back their unconscious impulses or channel them in non-self-destructive ways, but even that did not guarantee a successful marriage. All things considered, he was an oddity among his kind.

"I… have been staying out longer and longer as of late. My, the office, has been busier than normal. The days I can come home, it's so late that Akeno is already asleep. Sometimes Shuri too. They try to play it off, but I can tell it's getting to them."

"You know, you can always ask for a day off. Issei loves you like an uncle. If he thought that he was keeping you from your family, it would devastate him. He doesn't show it, but when it comes to people he likes, that he's close to, he gets really self-conscious. With the way he is, well, you can tell that he doesn't appeal to everyone. He really does appreciate all you're doing for us."

The bigger man chuckled into his next sip. Ichirou's description of how Issei treated him wasn't that hard to believe. His willingness to be around and teach the kid had automatically put him on a pedestal that he honestly didn't believe he deserved, or wanted.

Issei, was for lack of a better word, a sponge for information.

The child was almost nine years old. The age of a fourth grader.

But he was already reading books for people getting ready for their college exams and beyond. If the boy was believed, he would have been prepared to pass EMT tests if he wasn't too young to take them in the first place.

Whenever his parents weren't around, he used the Boosted Gear to magnify his ability to learn and retain information to terrifying degrees. Normally these effects would be temporary, but the kid had been studying and utilizing this method for so long that his mind had literally adapted to the strain and rate of growth to the point that he could memorize a huge amount of information in a single go without his Sacred Gear now.

In short, the boy had quite literally, forced himself to be a genius. To be something that he wasn't supposed to be.

For a harem.

Correction, for the harem.

The harem that he was going to make. The harem he was going to support and care for. The harem that he was going to protect.

Initially, Baraquiel assumed that Issei Hyoudou was a bit touched to be so obsessed with women and breasts. It took him over a week to convince the child that, no, he really didn't know the reason why humanoid women from his and other factions with large breasts tended to defy the laws of physics.

But, a week after that, he had made the mistake of trying to teach Issei about the flaws and risks of having a Harem, and that sometimes bad things could still happen to him and the girls under his care.

It was then that he was reminded that Issei was the Sekiryutei. The boy was kin to the Dragons, even if he was genetically a human.

No, in hindsight, the way Issei went after his desires was far more like a Dragon than a human.

And whatever a Dragon sought, it obtained, one way or another.

He decided to leave the Harem topic alone after that.

Azazel had been over the moon after his first report. Both in finding out what the kid did to himself…

… And Ghost.

Baraquiel still didn't know what the new Sacred Gear, Blind Eternity, did exactly. But then again, Issei didn't seem too interested in it in the first place. The kid was more focused on learning white magic and becoming a doctor despite his rather pitiful natural ability in magic in general when he wasn't using his Sacred Gears.

… Technically.

"Thanks for the offer, but we're made of stronger stuff than you think. One more week of this isn't going to hurt anyone. You have that vacation of yours coming up, right?"

"Mmm. Okinawa. A little sun and surf out in the open. It's nice to have a kid that takes studying so seriously, but this is a bit much. The fresh air and warm weather will do him good." Ichirou smiled, but Baraquiel could tell that it was somewhat forced.

"You're not looking forward to it?"

"I'd have to be dead to not look forward to Okinawa. It's something I used to be hyped up for when I was a kid." The human snorted before sighing deeply. "No, it's… I dunno. I feel like I'm missing out on what it means to be a dad."

A thick black eyebrow rose skeptically in confusion. "I don't follow."

Ichirou took another deep gulp from his drink, gathering his thoughts in the process. "… Asami and I, we married young. Our folks both gave us some money to start a family without too much worry. My job paid well, and Asami is the proactive type, doing small jobs around town to make a bit extra for a few luxuries. We wanted to have kids early. We did research. Made preparations. Moved to a good place with low crime and good schools. We thought we were ready for everything, but, we had complications conceiving. Something to do with the hormones in her body causing an imbalance that makes it hard for fertilized eggs to stay in her uterus. I forgot the term. We tried a few times and she even got pregnant before Issei but…"

The awkward silence spoke more than a thousand screams. Miscarriage. He didn't even want to imagine what it would have been like if Shuri had ever had to go through such an ordeal.

"So, when we found out about Issei, we were overjoyed. He was our miracle. No flaws. No complications. He just, came into the world kicking and screaming his lungs out, not caring about the odds he had defied. He was, and still is, simple and honest."

Issei. Honesty. It matched the boy perfectly in hindsight. He never held back his opinion on the topics at hand, even when he should. It was one of his most outstanding qualities, in both a good and bad sense.

"I always thought." Ichirou continued. "That as a dad, I'd be there to teach my kid everything important that he should know. School. Taxes. Girls. Be there if he needs help. Be his role model in one way or another. But, Issei's… he's…"

"A genius." Baraquiel supplied.

"Independent." Ichirou corrected. "He's smart, but, it's almost like he wants to do everything by himself, that he has to. It feels like I just blinked and my boy is already studying things that I either never learned or have long since forgotten. That or the things I can do, he's already pulling off better than I ever could. All without my help. It's almost like I wasn't even needed."

"You sound disappointed."

"Words can't describe how proud I am to have such a gifted kid, and his heart's as big as it comes. But, hell, he's done so much that I missed. I didn't even know about those bank accounts he set up earlier, let alone the fact that he can already support my family better than I can. Do you know how much of a kick to the ego it was when I heard that? My nine year old son is already making more money than I am. Before even getting his first job."

"You know that there's more to parenting than teaching your child academics and finances."

"I know. But, I was supposed to be there to help with his school projects. To get him motivated to go to school. To help him master the basics that all kids need to know. You know. Dad stuff. That's part of the reason why I wanted this break. Issei's been spending more and more time studying lately. He's making absurd progress, but at what cost? His closest friend is Ophis-chan, and it's obvious that the girl isn't all that she appears to be."

Understatement of the millennia in Baraquiel's opinion, but the point still stood.

"He's trying to be a man before he even knows or understands what being a boy is all about. I can't teach him much anymore, but I still want to do at least show him how to enjoy himself. How to enjoy being around others. How to, anything. Really, I just want him to know that I'll be there for him, and that it's ok to ask for help. But more than that though, I don't want him to get used to being alone."

He looked at Baraquiel with an unreadable expression. "He says he wants a Harem, and I believe that, but, I think it originally came from the fact that he's just really lonely. He didn't start spouting endlessly about women and oppai until after his only friend here moved halfway across the planet. The idea of constantly being around women, or people his age for that matter, that genuinely care for him and be happy for the rest of your life… what part of that doesn't sound appealing to a lonely kid?"

Baraquiel looked at Ichirou with old eyes. This man so many years his junior was putting so much effort into trying to be a good father. It was hard not to admire his heart and dedication. The mortal knew that his son was vastly superior to him in so many ways, but still wanted to be there for the child because he could.

He looked at his drink in thought.

How much effort had he put into trying to raise Akeno? He cared for her. Supported her. Protected her. And Shuri. But… was her situation any different from Issei's? Akeno spent most of her time inside the small property that they lived on. Due to Shuri's family not approving of their relationship, it was rare that Akeno was allowed outside on her own or without one of her parents' supervision, meaning she had little open contact with anyone her age.

The situation was different, but the results were eerily similar.

"Looks like I'm not the only one that's worried about home." Ichirou read him like a book.

"… If, if you can get Issei to reign in some of his habits after your trip, I might consider bringing my daughter to these sessions."

"That's a big if." The human snorted, drinking from the bottle again. "You sure that it's a good idea? You know how Issei is. They might not hit it off."

"Akeno, is a lot like her mother. She's kind and understanding, but due to circumstances, she's also a bit sheltered with few friends. If we handle this right, they might be good for each other."

"… Wait, hold on. Are we suddenly playing matchmaker or…"

"As friends."

"Ok. Ok. Just checking. No need to go overprotective on me. I'm a dad too." Ichirou held up his hands in surrender.

"Mmm." Baraquiel hummed, finishing off his drink. "If nothing else, you should be proud Ichirou. There's no one that would be able to argue that Issei is your son."

Issei had spent the following week and the entire vacation excited and nervous to meet Akeno. He had bombarded Baraquiel and his parents on advice on what Akeno liked and how he should act. So much so that the last day before he went on break, he had kept Baraquiel at his home well over an hour past the time the man was supposed to leave, double and triple guessing himself in a nervous panic.

It wasn't until two weeks after he had returned from the break that he had learned that the day he had left, the Himejima-clan had killed Shuri, and Akeno had gone missing.

Two weeks later, Issei had found out in his attempts to locate Akeno and those that attacked her, that had Baraquiel gotten home just a bit sooner, he could have protected his family.

The child rarely ate or slept.

After nearly a month of doing nothing but sinking nearly everything he had into finding Akeno, Azazel had to step in personally. With the help of Ghost and Ddraig, they had managed to get the boy to ingest some sedatives while he was distracted. Issei had mastered mixing Ddraig's power with white magic on his body to the point that he could normally burn through the effects within a few seconds, but thanks to his tenants' interference he had passed out before performing the spells and using his Sacred Gears.

Azazel needed the time to seal away Issei's knowledge of the event, and scour the boy's notes and computers of any information related to Baraquiel's wife and daughter.

He knew that Baraquiel's family had died, but that was all. He didn't know how he accidentally kept the man from saving them. He didn't know that he had been excited to meet his teacher's daughter, or that he very well had been responsible for her misfortune, or that he indirectly killed someone, or his efforts to find Akeno.

He didn't even recognize Akeno's name.

Asami and Ichirou also got similar treatments just in case.

Even so, it didn't take long for people to notice that Issei had stopped asking people for help or advice anymore. If anything, he was more withdrawn and obsessed with studying than ever.

Baraquiel, didn't come to teach him again either.

o. o. o.

Omake: Even saints have their limits:

"Come on."

"No."

"Come ooooooon."

"No. Unlike you, I have no interest in death." Issei glared at his Right hand as he was escorted through the Gates of Heaven with Michel and a small entourage of other Angels.

Not only was Ghost being more obnoxious than normal, but Issei had yet to see a single harem since getting here. Wasn't Heaven supposed to be where all the virtuous souls go to when they die? Where they get their wishes granted for good behavior? Where was all of that? If going to heaven after he died meant getting blue balled out of a well-deserved harem, then maybe there was some merit into researching youth sustaining immortality after all…

"Pleaaaaase? It'll be funny."

"That's why I'm not letting you do it."

"What is the matter?" Michael asked the young boy curiously.

"Ghost wants to try and piss you guys off by saying something a single stupid sentence."

"It works in over sixty percent of the Heaven's I've been in." The immortal was practically jumping with excitement. "Even in the ones belonging to worlds that it should make no contextual sense."

"I… why?" The Seraph, alongside his guards were caught completely flatfooted by the request.

"Because he's a jerk." Issei sulked.

"It started as a joke, but wound up as an experiment that my brother roped my family into. We're contractually obligated to test this out every time we visit a Heaven. With punishment clauses and everything."

"Your brother essentially forced you to piss off Heaven whenever you visited it?" Michael frowned in confusion.

"Yes! Well… technically, I'd do it anyway out of habit, but the contract makes me do it in a specific way."

"Your family's messed up. And I thought that the Greek Gods did crazy stuff." Issei summed up pretty much everyone's thoughts.

"The Greeks? Those idiots?" Ghost dismissed the pantheon viciously. "Those guys are less Gods and more an inbred family of perpetually drunk super powered college frat and sorority members that are constantly sticking their dicks into each other and weird places. Then they blame each other and everyone else for what they did when the hangover kicks in. The whole big book of Greek mythos should just be considered a guide of what NOT to do when you obtain Godhood. Bunch of fuckups if you ask me. The only reason why they're so famous is because their stories are like watching a mythological version of Jackass. It's horrible and retarded, but you just can't look away."

Michael shook his head, already in the process of making an effort to forget what he just heard, even if he couldn't argue against it. "And here I thought Azazel was overstating your eccentricity. Lord Ghost, if you truly are obligated to test your theory out, please do so. You are among some of the elite guard of Heaven. So long as what you say isn't truly blasphemous, I doubt that we will react as you will expect."

"Uh. Can he do it when there is more distance between me and everyone here?" Issei looked around nervously. "You know, in case I have to dodge? Or run?"

"Too late!" Ghost cut Michael off. "I believe that Kevin Smith's movie Dogma is an accurate representation of Biblical mythos!"

Shink.

Michael blinked and looked down to see that the elite Angel Guard around him had, in perfect synchronization, leveled their holy spears at Issei.

He was also curious to find that he himself had conjured a few dozen spears of his own in the air above himself, also leveled at the child. "… Huh."

"Sixty one percent!"

"I don't want to die yet! Even if I'm already in Heaven! Something tells me if I get the order backwards, I'm gonna get stuck in limbo because of paperwork issues!"

In hindsight, Michael would look back on that day and admit that it had been one of the most active days in Heaven for quite a while.

o. o. o.

A/N:

I hate this chapter. I really do.

*Major controversial salt storm inbound. You have been warned.*

Ok. Before I get to the parts that matter, let me just cover this one thing, because I know someone, somewhere, is going to have a cow about the Jew comments in this chapter one way or another, especially after all the shit that's going down in Israel, and make assumptions of me that aren't true and raise a huge stink about it.

I don't care.

When I say I don't care, I don't mean, "I don't care about Muslims" or "I don't care about religion" or "I don't care about what Israel has done" or any of that. I'm a fucking Jew living in Dearborn Michigan and I'm perfectly fine with it. I have friends here. I go out and drink at bars here. The only places you'll find more Muslims than here are in Muslim majority countries. I don't have the slightest issue with Muslim people and religion at all, or any religion for that matter. I'm normally just a very easy going guy with a fucked up sense of humor.

I'm saying "I don't care. That stuff is not part of this fictional story."

You will never, EVER, hear me promote racist bullshit along the lines of, "all "this group of people" are thieves and criminals", or "this country/culture is filled with nothing but terrorists and criminals and needs to be wiped off the face of the earth."

At the very worst, you'll only hear me say things of similar nature about the leaders of said countries, and individual groups. Because they are normally the ones driving everything to shit.

Looking at you Trump. Republican Party. Democratic Party. And the Communist Party. And Putin. Netanyahu. British Parliament. Italy. Half of the leaders of Africa. Maduro…

Fuck… no wonder the world is going to shit these days. We're letting everything fall into the hands of idiots and vicious nutjobs that don't give a shit about the bigger picture.

Personally, the only people I genuinely despise without needing a reason, are extremists.

Extremist Muslims. Extremist Jews. Extremist radicals, liberals, politicians, bankers, rulers, teachers, students, businessmen, clerics, etc. Anyone that makes assumptions and or decisions on people, problems, and topics, based on nothing but personal belief and a narrow scope of research. People that that show little effort to endorse the possible idea that their initial assumption may be wrong, and only do the bare minimum needed they think they need to prove that they are right and everyone else is wrong and needs to burn for it. People that feel the need to impose their beliefs onto others by yelling, by violence, by slander, by ruing another's life in one way or another for little reason other than to prove themselves right.

Do I believe that violence should be avoided at all costs? Fuck no. There are in fact individuals out there that are better off dead for the sake of themselves and everyone around them. I am not an optimistic idiot. But I don't rush though all my options just so I can get to the violence part at light speed like I see so many people doing these days.

Dealing with life is like dealing with a pet. If you can't take care of it properly because you're a cruel or careless prick, you probably don't deserve it in the first place.

Of course, it's a different matter entirely if you're unable to take care of yourself because of reasons outside of your control. I have absolutely nothing against people that are unfortunately in situations like that. My issues are with the ones in the idiot parties that ignore common sense.

If someone asked me about the current situation in Israel, I would say things that would genuinely piss off people on both sides. Things that I will not say here, other than the fact that I am, in fact, saddened by the situation and the loss of life and the excessive violence that has taken place. Why? Because I'm someone that naturally looks at everything objectively, that tries to understand the full context of the situation. It's what I do. It's one of the reasons why my stories cover so many topics and angles. There are legitimate arguments for both sides. Anyone that says that the conflict is entirely one side's fault is an idiot that's never done any genuine research before.

This chapter was something that was made in the process of months. Much of it was made before the current snafu that's happening in Gaza. This includes the Israel jabs. I know the timing is poor, but, as cruel as it sounds, I'm not going to edit it because of something that most of us will probably forget about in a year or two's time.

High School DxD is heavily influenced by biblical mythology. Guess what. That includes Judaism and the Middle East, so I'm using it because they are relevant to the themes of the DxD world. I never intended to do more than a few jokes about the subject. I still intend to make jabs every now and then. But make no mistake, it is all for the sake of making jokes. Not to push any political agenda or any other sort of bullshit that some may assume.

If I wanted to depress people that badly, I'd tell them to watch the news and leave me alone.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to say on the matter and get it off my chest. If you want to say something in response to that, please don't because I won't reply. I write stories. I don't do debates.

*Salt storm over. It's safe to read again.*

So. Like I said. I hated writing this chapter. I genuinely have never had so much trouble writing a chapter before like this one.

I wrote myself into a corner. Asia. The trio of Fallen showing up. Rias and the group talking to Asami. The training. Issei's past. I had to cover all of this bullshit all at the same time. This chapter was one giant clusterfuck of an info dump, not only for the readers, but for the characters as well, and it was a BITCH to try and get it down right so it flowed properly while keeping everyone in character. Due to the fact that Issei's an unstable wreck and the topics of conversation that were at hand, I had to write and rewrite several scenes so that things wouldn't devolve into massive shouting matches or result in Issei having another breakdown.

TBH, I still don't like how it turned out exactly, but it's probably going to be as good as I can get it at this point.

As a result, it wound up being the size of one of my normal chapters, something that I was trying to AVOID for this story.

But, thankfully, it's done, and I can FINALLY get to the training chapter. Where I get to exercise my ability to be cruel and unusual to the characters for the sake of personal amusement.

And… plot. Yeah. Especially… plot.

And before anyone asks, other than Ghost, yes, I did make a couple OCs for this story. Anyone that's familiar with my writing knows that it's what I do, and I'm pretty good at it. Please be patient.

Real life's kinda been beating me over the head recently too, which held me up on top of things. My Roommate got less than a month's notice by the company to move out to California back in March, and the lease isn't up till September, so there was some chaos there. Just got a new Roommate move in last week, so that eventually ended well.

Also had to put my car in for repairs, twice, so there's a huge chunk of money gone there. I ended up walking home from work so many times that I'm covered in bug bites now. Fun.

A friend of mine here died recently. Most of us are still trying to find out what happened. It came out of nowhere and caught me and the others off guard. The guy's best friend has been MIA since. He's been taking it really hard.

And one of my co-workers just moved to a new department from out of the blue, so I'm trying to fill in for him temporarily working on experimental equipment…

Oh yeah. My birthday passed. I'm 29 now, so that's a thing.

Ghost: Hey? What's this? Is this a Platinum Trophy for God of War?

CRUNCH.

… Please ignore the Ghost that I have just crushed with a dump truck of salt.

Ghost: Oh god! It's not even real sea salt! It's that imitation exotic sea salt bullshit that those fake hipster pricks put on their food to pretend that they're eating healthier in front of other people! That makes it so much worse! Kill me! Kill me now!

So yeah. Life's been a bit of a bitch lately. Sorry if it sounds like I'm just venting to you.

On the bright side, I'm nearly done with the next chapter of FFD. Just have half a scene to two more to cover. Lots of fuzzy feels in this one. Gimme a week or two tops and it should be beta'd and out and everything.

Once again, sorry for the delay guys. It's totally on me this time.

At the very least, E3's coming up soon. Here's to Gearbox finally announcing the next borderlands. I needs me some midgets to shoot in the face.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! ALL FEAR NINJA PUPPY, HARBINGER OF SURPRISE SNUGGLES! AND REVIEW AGAIN!