Chapter 11: Finally the good stuff

I don't own Highschool DxD, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new abilities in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Seven Years ago:

"That guy was creepy."

"I suggest you take a shower. For all of us. Then burn the water. Then let me burn the dredges." Ghost agreed, shivering enough to make the boy's arm twitch. "I might be an insanely overpowered entity, but there are still people even I avoid like the plague if I can help it on principle."

"So even you have standards."

"Bitch, I'll make you a standard."

Azazel smirked as Issei shivered next to him as they walked out of the conference room. "Yeah, you tend to come in contact with people like that in our world kid."

"But he's a part of the Church! I thought that the ones involved in important research and holy artifacts were supposed to be, you know, pure! Either by overexposure to said holy artifacts or as a requirement to deal with them!" The boy stuck to his argument with haunted eyes.

"Not if the guy is one of those freaks that manages used holy water. Trust me, there is nothing holy about that stuff."

"I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"Not according to half the people that actually know you."

"Technically, that's still better odds than when asked that about me." Ghost sighed, pretending to lament his public reputation.

"I wonder why." Ddraig clearly wasn't wondering.

"Oi. At least I don't give the impression that I have a hobby of hiding children in my basement like Father Excali-boner back there."

"That's not a particularly difficult milestone to reach."

"I don't see you being thankful for it."

Azazel didn't know what to be more offended by more right now. The fact that his maturity was being compared to Ghost's, or that he had been ignored so quickly.

It had been six months since the fiasco with Baraquiel's family, and Issei was finally being cooperative enough to listen to everyone again, despite no longer remembering what had happened.

During this time, the kid had blazed through the rest of his grade school textbooks, medical texts, magic texts, and most college entrance exam practice books.

Long story short, Issei was already more prepared for college than vast majority of the guys that were already in college. He turned nine last month.

So Azazel, being the generous person he was that clearly wasn't looking for an excuse to get away from the office, had taken Issei on a bit of a road trip to find and visit some of the more, exotic, locations of education that were willing to host an over intelligent, over powered, over horny preteen with two voices in his head that accepted sponsorship from multiple factions.

Surprisingly, it was easier than it sounded. Most high level academic institutions were places of politics, but they only really cared about the outside world if either absurd amounts of money was involved, or there was an army at its doorsteps. So long as you had the gold and had something to contribute, it didn't really matter to them if you had wings, fangs, or were as squishy as any other red coat.

Oddly, it didn't take much to persuade Asami and Ichirou to let him take Issei out to explore the campuses. Both of the parents seemed to trust him for some reason after dealing with Baraquiel, and felt that their son needed some time to grow outside by himself. Not that the Governor minded, just the opposite. It made things easier for him. He just felt that the ease of it all was a bit odd.

The colleges in the underworld were out. They never took in humans as students, only as guest speakers. Thankfully, there were a surprisingly large number of mystic schools on the surface that catered to everyone. Most happened to be located either in the Middle East, or in America for a slew of reasons.

The purely magic schools didn't appeal to Issei, which narrowed down the search even further by excluding some of the bigger places like the campuses run by the major magic organizations. The kid wanted a well-rounded education so that he could live and adapt to both the mystic and human world.

This time around, Azazel and Issei found themselves in a mystic researcher's conference in the hidden part of Yale University. One of the largest of its kind if the rumors were any indication. An annual event where students and alumni would announce and present milestones and new branches of magic, theory, and discoveries of the world in the hopes to get more sponsors down the line.

Issei had been so engrossed in the event that he didn't even ask some of the very attractive women, human and not, around him if they wanted to be in his future harem when he did manage to talk to them.

It was probably for the best. The kid's approach needed some work. Even cults that catered to the absurdly insane and desperate had a better approach and success rate than Issei's tentative harem. It almost hurt to watch. Almost.

"Hah. Fine. Fine. Let's just get ready to go. You said it yourself, the next panel you wanted to see was starting soon after this one, right?" Azazel shook his head in defeat, knowing a lost argument when he saw one. Looking back at the conference room, he couldn't help but agree with Issei that the Priest at the lecture was a bit on the sketchy side, and somewhat disappointing.

The man's research was crude, to put it lightly. Issei had attended the lecture in the hopes of finding a better way to improve his alignment or compatibility with White Magic, but was left disappointed for the most part. Most of the lecture was based on extraction and transferring minute specified genetic and spiritual samples between donators and recipients in the hope that the procedure would unlock or accelerate the development of the specified attribute in the latter. True, the priest was more interested in doing so with Holy Magic specifically, but still…

To get that excited just from a theoretical question from Issei about accumulating and gestating the extracted samples from multiple donors in a concentrated culture as a theoretical different approach to the problem was just wrong.

It was one thing to see a monster or devil to make that kind of face when having an eureka moment, it was another when a priest did. It didn't help that the freak spent the rest of the session returning his attention back to Issei every few seconds.

And he was supposed to be in line to be a Bishop? Michael really must be desperate these days.

"Yeah. Let's hurry. The sooner we get away from that creepy priest, the better." Issei nodded frantically taking out the guide pamphlet and map for the campus.

"Hope this next one's more interesting." Azazel yawned. "Which one is it again?"

Issei looked up at him. "Sage and Ki Arts theory and application, and their varying effects on different species. Rumor has it that the presenter is a Nekoshou that was reincarnated into a Devil."

The leader of the Grigori's eyes flashed in mild interest. "Hooh? Sage Arts? You're right. That does sound interesting."

"And she's really pretty with big oppai!"

"Of course she is."

"Just make sure to find out if she's a trap granny that uses the mystic arts to make herself look young." Ghost warned. "Trust me kid. Those ladies play in a completely different league than what you can handle right now. And I'm not just talking about smashed pelvises."

"No doubt you speak from experience."

"All the experience! And some lawsuits! Never trust lolis! They always lie about their age! If they say they're eighteen, they're barely thirteen! If they say they're thirteen, they're pushing three millennia bare minimum! I have a chart!"

"Doesn't Auntie O fall into that category though?"

"The only games that one plays are her own. Best leave that one be, for all our sakes."

"Ok… So do you think this Senjutsu lady want to be a part of the Harem?"

Azazel chuckled, amazed by the kid's one track mind. Reaching down, he ruffled the excited boy's messy hair. "One way to find out."

o. o. o.

(?)

"… id…"

It was fuzzy.

"… -n't work ei-…"

It was hot and fuzzy.

"…-ssei! Wa-…"

His head was stuffed with cotton.

He didn't like it.

"… -ve. You're com-… already?"

His body didn't want to move. His nerves felt numb. His eyes hurt, making it hard to see even though there was little light. He tried to move, but he couldn't. No. Something wasn't letting him, holding his arms and legs loosely in place. Something else was on top of him too. It was heavy.

"Nnng." He groaned, realizing that it was hard to breathe.

It took a bit to realize that that heavy something was on him was a person.

"KID!" An annoying voice that wasn't annoying for once shouted in his head, only making it hurt more. The pain waking him up faster.

"That idiot. I told him to make sure you drank it all. He knows how fast your body burns through impurities." A voice outside his skull sighed in minor frustration. It was familiar, and close. Really close. Right in front of him.

He opened his eyes to see White in a room of darkness. Of Black and Red.

Why?

A hand cupped his face. It was gentle and soft, but for some reason it only made him more terrified.

"Shhh. Shh. Don't worry Issei. I'm here. You're always be safe with me around." White crooned into his ears gently. His eyes cleared slightly.

Oppai. He saw oppai within arm's reach of him. Not too big, but by no means small. They were beautiful. Shaped perfectly and hanging freely right in front of his face. A flawless pink nipple positioned in just the right way so that he could take in every detail without fail.

He should be happy for such a sight. He should be focused on what was before him. But for some reason, the only thing his instincts were telling him to do was run. Escape. Danger.

His breathing began to intensify. His heart began to pound in his ears.

White didn't seem to notice, continuing to caress him like a lover, or a cherished pet. "I'll always be here. You know you can trust me. More than the pompous idiot. More than the crows and pigeons and fools that dress like kings. More than my meathead half-brother. More than those sluts that pretend to care…"

Red. He felt and saw red below on his chest as her other hand pressed against his chest. It hurt. No. No. He knew what it was…

Her hand yanked back suddenly, holding two small objects in it, blurred by his dazed eyes. "Even two rooks won't work. The highest point combination I had was still not enough. No, of course they wouldn't. Not for you, Issei. You're too good for just Rooks. But I already tried everything else. My Pawns. My Bishops. My Knights. My Queen. It's my fault. I'm too weak for someone like you. To be your King. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being so inconsiderate."

She sounded sad. Genuinely and honestly sad, as if she was lamenting her inferiority and inability to a lifelong love. Him, who was restrained and mentally addled and scared underneath her. It was a twisted regret that only made him more alarmed.

"Issei! Wake up! You need to get out of there!" Ddraig roared in his mind, clearly alarmed and angry if his tone was anything to go by.

"Get your ass moving! Albino's gone full Yandere! The useless bird was in her pocket! The Fucker drugged all of us at the party! The Gears are locked down! We can barely function like this! Get going! Now!" Ghost was yelling too, and he sounded a lot like Ddraig.

Ghost and Ddraig, rarely got along, and even more rarely ever sounded worried.

Issei's mind cleared up faster.

"You're so magnificent, even other Dragons are trinkets to you… but the idea of leaving you by yourself, or worse, belonging to someone else that doesn't understand and respect the power you have…" A sliver of silver reached his eyes, moving up to the ceiling.

"… It's unfortunate but I guess this really is how it turns out ultimately. It is easier to reincarnate the dead than the living. If all else fails, there are many spells that can preserve your body and soul until I'm strong enough for you."

"Don't worry Issei. I'll be there when you wake up."

"Forever."

o. o. o.

Issei woke up.

The mouse in his hand for his computer had been crushed in his grip. It was the third one this month.

For over half a minute, he didn't move, allowing the haunting thumping of his heart to deafen his ears and blind his eyes, reassuring him that he was back in the waking world.

"You're up." Ddraig lamely stated, more bored than worried. It was unsurprising. This wasn't the first time that Issei's had the nightmare.

Knowing that there was no point in playing possum anymore, the teen lifted his head up from his computer desk and blinked the morning sun from his eyes, completely ignoring the screensaver half a meter away from his face showing some random bukkake orgy that caught his attention two years ago.

"How long was I out?" His question was reasonable. He normally didn't get nightmares unless he was asleep for more than three hours.

"Five hours. All in all, it's the longest you've gone in a while." The dragon answered simply, not bothering to ask if his host was all right. "You might want to get ready soon. You're supposed to start making the Devils and that Fallen of yours competent today."

"… I'm seriously contemplating going back to sleep."

"Get up you idiot."

"Fine. Fine." With a groan, he picked himself up from his desk and dislodged the remains of the mouse from his hand. Sleeping from a sitting position murdered his back, but he found himself doing that more than on the couch in his room or the rarely used futon in the corner.

Automatically, he went over a mental checklist of things he had to do in general.

Wash. Get dressed. Eat. Go over some basic training methods for the scrubs. Deal with the Cougar. Set the Ninja Puppy up with the computer he set up last night with the Italian to Japanese tutoring program, preferably without falling into whatever insidious traps this time, check his stocks, finish the dozen or so Porn reviews he's backlogged on, make the eight custom order sex toys that are due by next Friday, and… get back in shape.

… Wait. Shit. That means he has to prepare that disgusting stuff before he leaves.

Those guys might hate him after this weekend, but at least they won't have to deal with downing only that crap for its entirety for sustenance. He's practically doing them a service!

Oh. And finish the homework that he's missed out on.

Fun.

"Boost."

In a flash of red light, the Boosted Gear appeared on his left forearm, in all its glory.

Flexing his fingers a bit, as if reminding himself of how it felt, Issei glanced down at the emerald jewel at the front with a calculating gaze.

Might as well prepare a bit before things get started.

*Chack Chack.*

The coiled decorations around the Boosted Gear stretched back and snapped back into place.

o. o. o.

"Where is he?"

"Calm down Sona." Rias chided, albeit just as impatient as her friend. "As grumpy as Issei is, I doubt he's one to skip out on a meeting that he set up in the first place. I think."

Standing in the middle of the Kuoh school field, the two Devil Peerages waited patiently for their supposed teacher to arrive. For the most part, most of them had spent the time catching up with one another and introducing themselves, Gasper from Rias' group and Saji from Sona's.

"So. Is he really as mean as everyone says?" Reya Kusaka, Sona's Bishop asked in a stage whisper. "I heard that Hyoudou's the type that will deck anyone that looks at him funny."

"I wouldn't go that far." Kiba laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact with the others.

"He's an idiot." Koneko deadpanned.

"Yes and no." Akeno smiled, giving no more hints than that. Clearly she enjoyed teasing others.

"Not really." Gasper was the only one that seemed to be on Issei's side. "He just… likes to be left alone. If anything, he's more the type that wants to avoid trouble and attention than anything. It annoys him when people try to make their problems his."

Judging from the reactions from the rest of Rias' group, he was right.

"… He's still a jerk." Koneko held her ground.

Gasper remained uncomfortably quiet, dropping his head in acknowledgement.

"Sona, is something the matter?" Rias looked at her uncomfortable friend suspiciously. "You've been rather disquiet since last night. Does it have to do with what he said about Serafall-sama?"

Sona twitched, all but giving away at least part of her answer. "… Rias, you know things about Sirzechs-sama that the rest of the world doesn't. As his close sister."

"Of course. Nii-sama is family. He is always open with us whenever he can." Rias frowned. "Are you saying that Issei is aware of something similar with your sister?"

The student body president crossed her arms in a way that made it look like she was hugging herself. "Nee-sama, despite her personality… no, because of it, is a surprisingly private person with regard to certain things. Things that she holds close to her chest."

Things that she did not like speaking about. Things that exceptionally few people were aware of.

"And you're worried that he knows of them?" Rias frowned.

"I, don't know. I'm more surprised than anything still. I'm still processing it to be honest. Nee-sama's, surprisingly complicated." Sona looked like she really didn't know if she should be talking about this but was doing so regardless.

"That seems to be the summarizing story of nearly everyone these days." The redhead sighed, dropping the subject. She knew better than to press for information when it came to the Satans, and Sona would hold a grudge if anything sensitive was learned, even by accident.

"… Sorry. I'll try to keep my worries to myself." The Sitri breathed deeply, unconsciously resembling a certain Sekiryuutei, and calming herself down. "You have enough concerns to occupy yourself with."

Rias frowned. "I would have appreciated it if you didn't remind me of that."

Sona opened her mouth to say something before turning in another direction entirely. "They're here."

Indeed, casually walking across the field was Issei, followed in tandem by a half asleep Raynare if her eyes and unkempt hair was any indication. Both were dressed in casual clothing that could double as workout clothes if needed.

"You're late." Rias stated, albeit with a smile.

"This idiot kept on moving in and out of the house through the windows all morning. Trying to avoid the big bad "Ninja Puppy" like she carried the plague." Raynare yawned. "Moron tripped on the edges and fell face first into the bushes twice. Then we took the long way here because "the evil" would expect us to take the direct route."

It didn't help that the first thing he saw when she woke up that morning was him looming over her bed from her window. She literally kicked him out of the house for that.

"I will not be caught off guard again." Issei's eye twitched, glowing with dedication, not bothering to greet anyone. "Who knows what insidious and evil plans the Ninja Puppy is up to as we speak?"

o. o. o.

"A. I. U. E. O. Ka. Ki. Ku. Ke. Ko. Ga. Gi. Gu. Ge. Go… Za?"

"Sa." Asami corrected Asia, the latter trying hard to memorize the Katakana alphabet from the computer that had been left for her.

"Ah. Sorry."

"Don't worry. Japanese is hard to learn for foreigners."

"Moh. I'll work hard. You've been so kind to me. Issei-san even got me this computer. I owe him so much already."

"This girl, is adorable." Asami had to hold back her tongue as the young former nun looked at her with eyes of determination and unintended cuteness. "Ok. New plan. Step one. Get Issei to get used to her. Step two. Daughter in law."

o. o. o.

"Eeevillll." Issei hissed, completely unaware that he was aiming his paranoia at the wrong female currently in his home.

Reya looked at the others accusingly. "… Why didn't any of you warn us he was crazy?"

Akeno shrugged. "We thought that Sona told you by now."

"EVIL!"

"Are you certain the nun merely hugged him last night?" Sona glared Rias.

"EVIL HUG!"

Raynare smacked him upside the head.

"Are you certain you should be surprised by his reaction to being hugged from out of nowhere?"

Sona wisely kept quiet.

While everyone was finishing whispering to one another, Issei began to stretch, completely ignoring Raynare moving to the side of both parties and any looks he was getting.

"I assume we are going to start out with exercising?" Rias assumed, watching him get ready.

Issei, snapped out of his paranoid ranting, shook his head. "Nope. Gonna establish the pecking order."

It was the casual way that he said it that sent an ominous feeling of foreboding down the spines of Rias' peerage. They all knew by now that there was always more to Issei's words than at first glance. Even if he did look ridiculous as he continued with his basic stretching.

And stretching.

And stretching.

"Anytime you're ready." Tomoe Meguri, Sona's knight muttered.

"Oi. Unlike some people, I'm still mostly human. Gimme a break. I'm not designed to go full throttle at a moment's notice."

"Are you sure that we are going to get stronger by training under him?" Tsubasa Yura, Sona's rook asked. She felt like she was watching a comedy rather than someone prepare to fight after their supposed teacher started to do squats.

"Don't look at me." Sona glared at Rias, who had the decency to look embarrassed and was blushing in tandem.

Issei's shameless display continued on for a few more minutes before he seemed to finally have enough and addressed the clearly annoyed Devils, standing tall with his hands behind his back. "Ok! Two or three of you, come up so I can humiliate you guys!"

"Is he for real?" Saji deadpanned, not impressed at all.

"He's a real idiot." Koneko answered, stepping up while cracking her knuckles. She was going to enjoy this.

"I'm more interested in seeing if he's the real deal." Tsubasa walked up to join her fellow rook.

"I'll join you, if only to balance things out." Kiba sighed, materializing a sword in hand.

"Whatever you four do, don't go overboard." Sona ordered. "We are still on school property. Whatever damages are made are on your heads."

The Devils flinched. Issei yawned, looking like he didn't hear her at all.

The two sides stared at one another. One in caution. The other in boredom.

"… Are you guys gonna move or not?"

Provoked by his bored question, the two Rooks and the Knight moved instantly. Kiba surrounding Issei to flank his rear while the two girls charged from the front in a classic pincer. The Devils moved at vastly higher speeds than what any human could ever accomplish, finding themselves nearly on top of their target within seconds, faster than most humans would ever have time to react and prepare adequately…

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head: go up, thou bald head.

And he turned back and looked o them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them"

It was a beautiful voice. One of care and nurturing. One of love and longevity, despite the ridiculousness of the words that were spoken.

It made their ears bleed. Literally.

"Haaaaaa?!" At the first words of the sermon, all the Devils there collapsed onto the ground, holding their ears and desperately trying to subdue the violent migraine that was plaguing their skulls. Kiba in particular had wound up skidding on the ground via his stomach, unable to control his fall after moving so fast.

All from the recording on his cell phone being played at a modified max volume held above his head like a loudspeaker.

"I-Issei?! What are you doing?!" The voice itself wasn't loud from where she was, but Rias had to yell regardless, if only to be able to hear herself think through the pain.

What she didn't expect was for the young man, surrounded front and back by Devils, to pull out his other arm, and reveal a hand gun that she had not seen before…

… And then point it not at his opponents, but in her and Sona's direction.

It was an exorcist's gun.

The world stopped. Both Kings knew genuine fear, even if they didn't recognize it at first.

Their hearts froze. Their eyes dilated. They had even for a moment forgotten the pain they were in.

But they still couldn't move.

All they could do was stare down the barrel of the gun.

BANG!

The gun fired off, and for the briefest of moments, Rias thought that the skipping of her heart meant that she had been hit.

It was only later that she and the others realized that the projectile had passed right between the two Kings.

"NO!"

Kiba and Koneko lurched forward, trying to get Issei before he could fire off another shot, while Akeno gathered her magic to join the assault. Sona's peerage was for the most part joining in as well, their reaction time a few moments slower than their comrades'. The pain didn't matter. Their agony didn't matter. The rules didn't matter. The boy had just done something unforgiveable.

"And stop." And with that, the sermon ended as Issei lazily pressed the pause button on his cell phone, flipping the gun in his hand around to deftly catch the sword that Kiba swung at his chest. He would have been split in two if he had not moved in time.

"Why should I do that after what you just did?" The swordsman asked coldly, pressing is blade forward to genuinely harm Issei, no longer smiling.

He made a mental note that not only had Issei managed to keep up with his speed, but that the bastard was somehow strong enough to block his strike fairly easily despite being just a human wielding a weapon not designed for close combat. All the while looking as if he was barely paying attention to anything.

"Because everyone is looking the wrong way." It was the obviousness of his tone that gave him, and everyone else pause.

"What are you blabbering about now, dead man?" Tsubasa cracked her knuckles menacingly.

"I believe he's talking about me."

The Devils blinked in confusion at the voice before remembering that it belonged to Raynare.

And then they remembered about Raynare. The Fallen Angel that was not a part of either peerage that had a distain for Devils.

Who was currently flying slightly behind them.

With several dozen holy spears primed and ready to fire straight at Rias and Sona.

"You have no idea how temped I am to take such an easy shot." It was only because he had let her in on the plan that she had even bothered to get up this early willingly.

She was probably going to hate him later regardless, but at the very least, he knew how to sweet talk a girl with what she liked.

When Issei had claimed that he was going to "humiliate them", he wasn't talking about the people he was going to supposedly fight against. He had meant that he was going to humiliate them all.

Rias and Sona realized that this wasn't going to be a conventional training session.

o. o. o.

"Your situational awareness sucks. No. It's borderline non-existent."

Issei was standing in front of the Devils, looking down on all of them as if they were gradeschoolers. Raynare on the other hand, was standing to the side with her arms crossed, enjoying the show.

"I'm not doing this to train you to be stronger. Any idiot that has a decent amount of power and combat experience under their belt could do that. Scratch that, I expected you to be at least somewhat capable in that field in the first place, being related to the Maou and all. But I also expected you to at least show some competency when it came to battle and knowing what to do when caught off guard."

"You gave us the impression that we were going to be stronger from this gathering." Rias feebly tried to defend herself and the others.

"I am. By beating all those half assed self-entitled assumptions out of you scrubs so the odds of you not dying increases. Any tricks you might learn by the end of this will just be a convenient bonus." Issei held back no punches. "When the sermon started playing, all of you should have instantly been on the defensive. It didn't matter if I was only supposed to fight three of you. When you find yourself in a debilitating situation, you either resolve it or get out of there as soon as possible. Otherwise, you're probably gonna die."

"You two." He pointed to Akeno and Tsubaki. "Are Queens. You are supposed to be there to protect your Kings no matter the cost at all times. When you saw that I was a threat to the Weeb and the Enabler, you should have either gotten your charges out of harms' way, or been in my way. That goes the same for the Rooks. You are designated meat shields for your groups. If you see something dangerous coming your way, your first reaction should be to throw yourselves into it so that the others don't have to deal with it directly. If you can't do that, your next thought should be to protect either your King or the closest Peerage member to you. I saw neither meat, nor shields from either of you."

"I'll show you meat…" Koneko's hands twitched in a violent way that betrayed very violent thoughts.

"Pawns! Bishops!" Saji, Gasper, Reya, Momo, and Ruruko Nimura sat up straight. "Your jobs are to scout out any additional enemies and possible spells coming from any direction that the others are not focusing on! You should have been out on guard for the Cougar the instant you knew something was wrong! Feel the Cougar! Expect the Cougar! Fear the Cougar! For she will not let go once her greedy claws are in you until she tears out your very soul or you pay for her food!"

"Oi asshole! I'm right here!"

"Ignore the Cougar!"

"At least someone's getting into this." Saji deadpanned.

Pow!

"Gah!"

"Knights!" Issei ignored Saji grabbing his forehead in pain from a mysterious pebble that had moved at terminal velocity right into his skull. "You are supposed to be the first responders! The fast units! When something goes wrong, you are supposed to be the first to notice any threats in the immediate vicinity and run interference so the rest of your Peerage can regroup and get their shit together! Man-slave half assed his job by focusing only on me instead of assuming that there might be something else nearby or that there may be another trap!"

"Man-slave" did not like being called out for his mistakes.

"I saw none of any of that from any of you! Those procedures are not examples of "well trained" behavior. Those are supposed to be expected, standard reactions, basic maneuvers that are so ingrained into all of you that you shouldn't even have to think about it. I anticipated Dio and the Runt wouldn't have developed them yet, but to see none of you do even that much is just fucking embarrassing. I don't even need my Sacred Gear in order to wipe the floor with you."

"That's easy for you to say." Ruruko scowled. "You have that recording on your cell phone that makes our skulls split apart."

Rias and Sona frowned in agreement, but also some confusion. Members of the Church have been known to recite passages of the holy bible to paralyze Devils before, but recordings rarely have had much significant effect on them. For Issei's phone to put them all down so easily was… abnormal.

"You mean this?" Issei waggled his phone in front of them. "My handy dandy recording of Gabriel reciting some of the dumbest passages from the bible in case I am surrounded by a large numbers of Devils that want to kill me to make things easier because I actually put an effort into being prepared because I'm not an idiot?"

He had pulled a LOT of strings to get that recording, and it had been worth every second spent and every dirty glare he got from some of the Angels in Heaven.

"There is no way in HELL that's Gabriel." Raynare accused, unwilling to believe him.

"Because she's from Heaven. Duh. Who else can recite bible passages so effectively that even a recording of their voice causes Devils to reenact that one scene of Raiders of the Lost Arc?"

Ruruko held her ground. "That still doesn't change anything. You would have easily lost if it weren't for that.

The Sekiryuutei lifted an eyebrow skeptically, as if saying "oh really?", before breathing in deeply.

Just like every other time he had forcibly calmed himself down.

Or at least, at first it did.

It didn't take long for the others to notice that his jaw seemed to twitch under his skin in a way that certainly did not belong to human biology.

Before anyone could ask about it however, Issei exhaled.

Fire.

A lot of it.

Crimson flames, a deep hue that almost matched Rias' hair pooled out in front of the Devils, smothering them in oppressing heat, but never travelling towards them. Instead, the inferno gathered and grew, larger and larger into a titanic fireball over ten meters in diameter that remained in place…

… Until it began to sprout legs. And a tail. And a head.

Before they all knew it, a giant burning dragon made of pure fire bore down on all of them.

"Cough! Cough Cough!"

And Issei was hacking his lungs out behind it, totally ruining the impression he probably had been going for.

Then again, no one expected his mouth to suddenly be slightly larger and his teeth to be fanged.

o. o. o.

When Issei claimed that he was mostly human, he meant it literally.

Apparently, at some point he had replaced his entire respiratory system with that of a Dragon's.

Lungs. Throat. Mouth. Tongue. Jaw. Teeth. Nasal passage. Trachea. The whole lot.

He claimed that at the time, he thought it would be easier to hide the changes to the unknowing public, unlike, say, if he had replaced an arm or his eyes with that with a Dragon's. That and it would help him control his natural fire breath a bit better.

Changing the heart apparently eventually lead to a complete hybridization, and other possible health risks, so that had been out. Plus, the success rate for that particular transformation was dangerously low.

All in all, it didn't grant him any particularly special abilities outside of a heightened sense of smell and increased his ability to breathe absurd amounts of high quality fire that he could manipulate. And hold his breath really long and get more oxygen into his system.

Oh. And he could bite people really really hard if he felt like it.

On the down side, it had ironically made controlling his fire breath harder to control, not easier. Stronger, but much harder.

Right now though, said fire breather was crouched on the ground with a cloudy aura hovering over him, drawing circles on the ground and crying waterfall tears.

"Can't believe I can't even breathe fire without losing control anymore. I only stopped practicing anything intense for five years. I shouldn't have gotten that bad. Auntie O said that it was like riding a bike, but I still screwed up. I really am the worst. Scum. An embarrassment to all dragons everywhere. Everyone was right. I should just die already."

Neither the Devils, nor Raynare really knew how to approach this issue.

Mostly because the fire dragon was standing guard between the two parties.

Issei might have been embarrassed by his faux pas, but his creation was still exceptionally strong. No one was able to get even close to him without being overwhelmed by the heat the monster's body gave off.

"Um. Issei-sempai? Are you ok?" Gasper hesitantly asked, tilting his head to the side to get a better look at his senior.

"I swear. This hasn't happened in years."

"Fufufufu." Akeno giggled. "Oh my. It sounds like Issei has some quite glaring inadequacies, doesn't it?"

"I'm normally better at this."

"Sure you are." Momo clearly didn't believe him.

"It's true."

"Whatever you say." Reya didn't care.

"I could set the entire school on fire at once if I wanted. No. The entire town."

"Stop making up stories. You're not impressing anyone." Koneko's words shot him through his heart.

"I'm just out of practice. That's all."

"And whose fault is that?" Sona asked, accusingly.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one that can see how bad of a joke this is." Saji deadpanned.

"Auntie O is gonna kill me. Nee-san's gonna laugh at me. If Ass-man ever hears of this, he'll never let me live this down." Issei spiraled even deeper into depression. "I can hear him already. Hey tits for brains. I guess you finally fell to the point that you really are full of hot air. I don't need to fight you now. I just need to wait for you to set yourself on fire again. Don't worry, I'm merciful. You won't die. I'll kick you out before you roast yourself all the way."

Momo turned to Sona. "Is he imitating someone else insulting him, or is he doing it to himself at this point?"

"Most likely? Yes."

"Ah. This place has a bunch of nice trees. Nice strong branches that I can tie a rope to that can hold a human body, save everyone the effort…"

"How did he get to suicide that fast?!" Gasper shouted.

"Do it." Koneko prodded, staring at Issei intensely as if commanding him with her mind. "Jump."

"Ara. Koneko-chan. I'm disappointed in you," Akeno chided, though it was hard to take her seriously with the slightly more eager smile that she had on. "You have to wait until he's actually near the edge before saying such things."

"Hyoudou. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contemplate killing yourself on school property." Sona ordered him in a demanding tone, completely serious.

"You do know that…" Raynare looked at Sona skeptically.

"I know what I said."

"Just checking."

"Doesn't anyone else think that this is getting a bit much?" Rias laughed nervously, one of the few people that wasn't feeling particularly vindictive against Issei at the moment.

"No." Several voices denied her immediately from both Peerages.

"He made our ears bleed." Reya stated hostilely.

"Uh." Saji lifted up a finger. "Not that I don't understand why you're pissed at him, but do you guys really think it's a smart idea to say those things where the giant dragon made of literal fire he made can hear us?"

It was at that point that said giant dragon made of literal fire growled. Whether it was making a point or because it was taking offence to their insulting Issei was anyone's guess.

"You make a valid point Saji." Sona's expression remained completely serious. "Good work."

"I'm happy to be praised, but, please don't for stating something like this."

Having enough of the (maybe) jokes, Rias slowly started to walk around the Dragon to get a better look at her temporary teacher. She didn't miss how the monster was keeping track of her movements with a suspicious glare. "Issei? Are you ok? Are you that embarrassed about what happened?"

Judging from the growing cloud of depression hovering over him, the answers to her questions were, in order, no, and a fat yes.

"I-is it that bad? You said it yourself, you haven't breathed fire for years. It shouldn't be surprising that you're a bit rusty. I'm sure it doesn't happen all the time." She tried to salvage the situation as best she could.

"If you stopped using your Power of Destruction for a few years, would you still be rusty?" Issei sulked, returning his attention to drawing on the ground.

She couldn't answer that without making the situation worse. Devils' lifespans last for millennia if things were good. Getting rusty at using one of their strongest abilities simply because they didn't use it for a few years was unheard of.

"I'm not like you guys. I don't have any natural talent in anything except for my fire breath. Anything else I can do is either from my Sacred Gear or something I had to develop with no original talent in."

Magic. Medicine. Even fighting in general. Everything he could do remotely well were things that he had no aptitude for. No, rather, he was a person that lacked aptitude in general. The only reason why he was able to do them to the degree of proficiency that he had was due to a mix of his abnormal obsession giving him extreme focus, and the Boosted Gear to magnify his learning curve and growth rate.

On a scale of one to ten in terms of natural talent, where ten was a once in a century prodigy, and one was essentially a cripple, Issei sported at best a three to four in most subjects, if he was lucky. Ki would only rank slightly better at a five, but that was only due to the large amount he had. In terms of control, he was naturally just as bad in that department as everything else.

It was only due to his cheating studying methods and obsessive focus when he was younger that enabled him to perform White Magic and a select few other spells at the skill level of a level five or six now, but that was the absolute highest he'd ever get. His theoretical knowledge was much higher than that, but his body had limits that no amount of training would surpass.

His fire breath was the only natural talent he had that could be considered above a five.

Even if he hadn't practiced it extensively, his abilities with it should actually be around nine at the very least. If he had practiced and trained this power for years on end, he probably would have been able to match whoever was the current user of Incinerate Anthem in a straight up literal firefight. The Longinus Sacred Gear that was the cross that Christ had been killed on, and widely considered to be the most powerful fire type Sacred Gear out there.

If he had been a full blooded dragon at birth, Issei would no doubt have had his name travel far and wide as a dragon with abnormally hot and destructive fire.

That's how absurdly powerful and important it was to him. It was a key pillar to his already unstable confidence, something that Issei could say that he was actually good at without help or unnatural training methods, outside of replacing his respiratory system with a Dragon's in the first place.

Even if he had never desired to burn anyone or anything in his life, it was something he had taken pride in.

It was a key pillar that had just been littered with cracks on the discovery that he couldn't use it well anymore.

"Damn it. Not again. Issei. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're embarrassing both of us in front of a bunch of weaklings." Ddraig groaned, trying to snap the boy out of another one of his episodes.

"Wow. He's really going deep down the rabbit hole this time." Raynare hummed, more curious than interested in his depressing self-assessment.

"He's been like this before?" Saji asked.

"A couple of times, but not this bad." The fallen nodded her head to the depressed teen. "I was wondering when he'd have a breaking point. He's a hikikomori that's been forced out of his hiding spot. He was bound to snap at some point. Didn't think he'd loose it for something this stupid though."

"Aaah. Now even the useless Cougar's looking down on me. I really am pathetic."

"Hold that thought." Raynare stepped forward, materializing a corrupted spear of light in hand.

That was as far as she got though, as the giant flaming Dragon was suddenly right in front of her, growling deeply at a frequency that made everyone's bones rattle.

"It's independent?" Sona frowned. She could summon water and shape it into animals herself, but even so, her creations could not act separate of her will. Doing so required an absurd amount of talent and knowledge in several fields of magical arts.

Among the younger devils of nobility, she was renowned for her control over her powers. Even so, she was unable to manifest fully autonomous elemental constructs. Yet.

But, Issei could. While supposedly "rusty" no less.

Damn it. He just had to show genuine worth.

"Hyoudou. We did not come to you for practical education. We came for theoretical, one that we can apply in the future. How able you are in your own abilities does not interest me. Do not tell me that you came to us unaware of what you going to teach us in the first place. Even I doubt that you are that sloppy."

"Of course I did. I'd look stupid if I didn't." He sulked.

"You always look stupid." Koneko deadpanned.

"Ara. Could it be that you actually care about how people see you, Issei?" Akeno asked with a sly grin.

Judging from the flinch and growing cloud over him, she was right.

Rias frowned and crossed her arms. He was sensitive about how others saw him? But all he did was push people away. The only other thing he did was… oh.

Oh.

It was starting to make sense now.

All he did was push people away, and make everyone think that he could take care of himself. That he didn't want help. That he didn't need help.

Rather, that there was no reason to help him.

She remembered his ranting from the previous week after the fighting. About how he would just get dragged into things if they didn't get stronger. The training was another way to try and give them another reason to leave him alone. To make them strong enough that they didn't need his help.

He wasn't cruel enough to just make them go away though. Just the opposite. He was too kind to just let them go and possibly get hurt. Ultimately, he was trying to satisfy both what he wanted and what they supposedly needed.

Asami was right. Gasper was right. Issei was at heart a kind person. He just didn't want anyone to know it now. He was terrified of what would happen if he did get close to others again. If people trusted him, they would try to help him. Be close to him. Which was what he didn't want… or at least, he thought he didn't want it.

"… Honestly. You're such a handful." Rias sighed, crossing her arms, finally getting to the crux of the matter. Another piece to the puzzle that was Issei Hyoudou had fallen into place, but there were many more that were missing. "Issei. How much longer are you going to sulk there for? Didn't you say something about training yourself too? The more time you waste, the less ground you're going to catch up while we are here."

"Don't tell me he was going to make more of these things." Saji slowly stepped away from the fire dragon.

"I was gonna practice using my Sacred Gear when everyone was busy. I didn't think I needed to practice using my fire. The Enabler wouldn't let me practice fire magic at the school anyways, so I didn't bother to plan for it." Issei sounded like a child that had just realized he had made a big mistake and everyone was angry at him.

"He's not wrong." Sona shifted her glasses, reflecting the daylight sun off of them. There was no way in hell she was going to let someone practice destructive magic at her school. Hell, she didn't even let Rias or anyone from her Peerage do it. "… You were going to practice using your Sacred Gear here?"

"I wasn't gonna break anything. I was just gonna use the school field and cast a cloaking spell so no one would see what I was doing." He muttered, cheeks puffed out like a child. "I don't wanna train, but I have to. It's gonna suck. My way of fighting's a pain to get right. Especially since I haven't practiced in a while and my body's grown. I gave myself a concussion using it earlier by accident. Aaah. All the things I'm supposed to be good in, I suck at now…"

"Even porn?" Raynare ran her mouth before her mind could even catch up.

It was like a reset button had been pressed.

SNAP!

Issei's head whipped around so viciously that they could hear the bones in his neck crack. His face was scrunched up in rage, cosmetically so since his teeth were actually pointed now and his tongue was slightly longer than normal. It was so bizarre a sight that one could even claim he looked cartoonish.

"BLASPHEMY! SACRILEGE! NON BELIEVIER! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST I FORGO MY DEDICATION TO PORN!?"

"And he's back." Saji sighed.

"At least we now know a way to snap him out of his depression faster the next time this happens." Momo agreed.

"Why?" Koneko asked, genuinely baffled by the prospect.

"Fufu. I must admit, he is quite amusing when he gets worked up over little things like that. When you aren't the one being yelled at, at least." Akeno giggled.

"Am I the only one here that heard his neck snap?" Gasper asked, slightly concerned. "It was pretty loud. Anyone?"

No one bothered to answer him.

Rias sighed as Issei continued to tirade at Raynare like a man possessed. Oh well. This works too. She supposed that she would just have to inquire and investigate Issei's peculiar personality later. There was no need to rush.

o. o. o.

"So that whole deep breath thing you do wasn't just because you're on the verge of going postal on us all the time?" Saji frowned in confusion.

"Oh no. I'm totally unstable." Issei waved him off with one hand while using the other to heal the minor fractures in his spine that had been made earlier. "I was doing these breathing exercise long before I went nuts. It was to practice controlling my breath. You have no idea how many times I accidentally set stuff on fire when I first altered my respiratory system. It's just convenient that breathing this way doubles as a calming exercise. If I get too heated up, I still might start spewing out tongues unconsciously."

So many unfortunate porn magazines burnt to a crisp in a brief moment of excitement. Don't worry. Your sacrifices were not in vain. Your memories will not be forgotten.

And you bed. And other bed. And work bench. And kitchen table. And college acceptance letter. And tax bills. And text books. And the local playground. And mom's garden. And lunch and…

"That's nice and all." Sona frowned. "But do you really have to keep that thing around?"

"That thing" Sona was referring to was Issei's fire dragon, who was simply sitting on the grounds a short distance away as if nothing was wrong.

Despite being made out of fire, it surprisingly had yet to immolate anything. Unlike its creator, the beast itself was quite docile.

Wait. It wasn't just sitting. It was distracted by the birds chirping in the distance, its tail flickering about, betraying its interests.

Oh boy. He was having second thoughts about leaving it out to make a point later on. At the rate things were going, the dragon was going to forget where it was and possibly set fire to some things that should not be set on fire.

And then he'd have to pay for it.

Meaning more work.

… Again.

"Aren't you still paying off the debt from that time one of them got overly curious and destroyed some of Azazel's test equipment?"

Yeah. No. He learned his lesson the first time.

"Fine. Fine. I'll make the child go away so he doesn't cause any trouble." With a quick whistle and some quick orders, he told the dragon to dissipate itself. Surprisingly, the monster actually looked slightly sad at the command before complying.

"Child?" Akeno blinked in confusion, as did several others. It was an odd word choice for someone like Issei to use in general. It was almost as if he treated the construct as an individual in its entirety.

"Now that we've gotten introductions out of the way, and you made your… point," Rias struggled to find the right word to describe what had just happened over the past ten minutes, "how do you intend to train us? You sound like this is going to last for just the weekend. I don't see how any of us could make significant progress in only a couple of days."

Issei shrugged. "Same way I was taught. Via multitasking, longterm multistage projects, and humiliating experiences that you will suppress for the rest of your lives."

Fuck you Ghost. Fuck you long after Fuck you is no longer a thing.

With a stick.

"Can I opt out of this?" Saji lifted his hand, completely unashamed by his request.

His fellow Peerage members grabbed onto him with death in their eyes. "If we suffer, you suffer too."

"Damn it."

"Oh quit being such a pussy. At least the bastard driving you nuts isn't in your soul and can fuck with you while you're asleep."

All the Devils and Raynare stared at Issei.

"Sacred Gear." He lifted up his right arm wrapped in a holy shroud.

"Oh." Rias knew of several Sacred Gears with spirits in them that could drive their hosts insane, but that didn't narrow down what Issei had by much.

"So, how are you going to make us all miserable, exactly?" Sona didn't hold back her disapproval of what was to come next.

Issei rolled his eyes. "First, I'm going to examine all of you to find out what the heck you can actually do. Then I'm going to give you all long term projects, tasks, and subjects to study to actually diversify your skillset. Things that you're going to waste time on long after this weekend. Then, only after all of that, and I start running the Cougar into the ground, I'm going to annoy the fuck out of every one of you when you least expect it so that eventually all of you will be somewhat aware of your surroundings at all times."

"What was that about running me into the ground?"

Sona and the others blinked for a moment. Outside of that last part, Issei's plan actually sounded useful. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Nothing outlandishly unreasonable? No absurd training routines to push us past our limits?"

"Does this look like a scene from some cheap movie or half assed anime? Even if you are Devils working with magic and all that bullshit, it doesn't mean that everything related to training has to be flashy or life altering or push you to the brink of death. Nine times out of ten, simpler ways to train are the most useful. You just have to be creative enough to know what to train and look for in the first place."

The Devils didn't know how to react to that. His surprisingly tempered approach to their development was unexpected.

"If you're all done questioning me in your thoughts, we can start. Oi. Runt. You're up first."

Saji paled. "What? Why me? You spend more time with the Gremory's peerage than mine."

"Because you're just turned and I need to see if anything was overlooked. Now get your ass over here."

"Overlooked?" Sona didn't like the way Issei had just talked about her Pawn's condition. While she might not dote over her Peerage like Rias did, she did not skimp out on their health or treatment. "I hope you are not insinuating anything about me or the way I treat my subordinates."

"I'm not. I'm making a jab about Devils and those in the upper class in general." Issei didn't bother looking at her as Saji reached him. "Ok. Now look straight forward."

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Rias was confused.

"Deep slow breaths." Issei instructed as his hands glowed with white magic, feeling Saji's neck. "I mean that the Devil upper class has a tendency of ignoring or forgetting that reincarnating has on people with Sacred Gears and individuals that come from different mythical backgrounds and species have unusual or adverse effects on their health."

"Forgetting?" Sona didn't like the sound of that, nor did she remember hearing anything of this nature when she was studying to be the King of a Peerage in the first place.

"Follow the light with your eyes. Not your head." Issei held up a finger that was now glowing as if a light bulb was under his skin, and moved it in various directions. "Take the Runt for example. Most Sacred Gear users that don't have their trinkets awake when they are reincarnated have their entire beings jolted shocked. It's an aftereffect of applying a Devil spin directly to something from God's system. Accessing their gears for the first time is easier, but it also sometimes sets up some spiritual road blocks further down the line, and makes some hurdles even more of a pain in the ass to get over. Runt has a Dragon type Sacred Gear, which… one second, yes, was essentially half forced awake after being reincarnated."

"Is that going to be a problem?" Sona was suddenly worried. It wouldn't do if she had accidentally crippled her Pawn in some way.

"It might be nothing, it might mean he'll have to die half a dozen times or get traumatized to insanity before unlocking Balance Breaker. It's too soon to tell."

"Traumatized to insanity?" Saji paled. "Balance Breaker?"

Issei pointedly ignored him. "Mix all of that with the fact that all these changes happened when he's in the middle of puberty, and you have the perfect setup for potential development complications. It would not be unexpected for him to end up being more aggressive and emotional as a result of so many internal changes firing off simultaneously. Not to mention that his sweat and odor glands will instantly be pouring out modified dragonic hormones at abnormal rates. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the Enabler's Peerage winds up at least somewhat infatuated with him by the time summer ends if he spends enough time with them."

"Wait. What?" Tsubaki blinked in surprise. Many of the other girls with her were of a similar mindset.

"And of course you guys wouldn't be warned about such issues, because most Devils don't even bother recognizing or acknowledging them in the first place." Issei sighed, moving his hands to Saji's chest, hands glowing once more. "Devils. Angels. Fallen. The Judeo Christian religions all originate from the Middle East, branching out West and South to Europe, the Americas, and Africa in one way or another. Your magic is based, if not linked to those systems in one way or another. It does not, however, work nearly as well when applied to those that originate from the Eastern Pantheons. Beel's scary good, but even he isn't that good."

Rias worriedly glanced at Koneko briefly. "What sort of issues could come up from reincarnating people from those areas?"

"Depends on what their powers and natures are like. It might be nothing, it might be crippling. Either way, even if it's the latter, it's likely that the Devil upper class would just sweep it under the rug to keep themselves from looking bad. More so if it's in order to hide their own personal fuckups. Conveniently, any "problem" peerage members that aren't meeting expectations can just be chucked off in the middle of nowhere, declared Stray Devils, and then taken care of as someone else's problem. You'd be surprised how many underground groups have turned that into an actual business. They even have competing prices and Christmas specials. Sadistic pricks think they're being witty with that one."

There was more than one Peerage member there that was stunned by his statement. And as much as Rias wanted to refute his claim, even she knew that there were Devils out there that did not treat their underlings with care.

"You sound quite certain of this. I take it you have examples of these supposed controversies?" Sona couldn't deny that what Issei said was possible, no, it was expected. But even she had yet to hear of anyone significant laying the blame on their Peerage members for something they did. Then again, she and Rias didn't exactly go out of their way to learn of such unsavory incidents in the first place.

"I have a list. But I guess the biggest recent example that you'd recognize is Kuro." Issei yawned. It was a partial lie. The biggest one would be him, but Kuro's was more recent. "Runt, where does your Sacred Gear show up?"

"Right arm."

"Mmm."

"Kuro?" The sinking feeling in Rias' stomach grew in magnitudes. She really hoped that Issei wasn't talking about who she thought he was.

"That SS ranked stray cat that drove half the Devil World nuts after she offed her King. Kuro." He verified simply with a shrug.

"You mean Kuroka? The Nekoshou? The one that went mad with power using Senjutsu?" Sona clarified, unwilling to look at Koneko.

"Nekoshou? Yes. Horny as fuck black cat that keeps throwing her panties in my face whenever she has a chance? Yes. Mad with power using Senjutsu? Not in this millennia." Issei deadpanned.

He wasn't joking about the panties either. It was practically her way of greeting him. If there was underwear in his face, Kuro was nearby.

In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if she still wore underwear just to do that in the first place.

"You know her?" Rias blinked in surprise.

"Know her? Weeb, I'm the one that healed her from death's door when she first escaped the underworld. Nearly killed her myself when she triggered half the alarms in my house and collapsed bleeding out at my front steps."

Even he was surprised by his own actions that day. It had been shortly after his meltdown, and by all rights, he was still in the mindset of "kill intruders first, ask questions later".

Then again, she had been one of the few people that didn't screw him over in the end.

Technically.

She didn't help, but then again, she hadn't been in a position to help in the first place.

It was either him or her sister.

There was no point in getting mad at something that was inevitable.

At least she didn't speak against him… unlike some cowards.

"You aided an insane criminal that killed her Master? You are her accomplice?" Sona did not like the sound of this.

Issei rolled his eyes. "Get off your high horse. Remember what I said about Devil elites not bothering to understand foreign powers and covering their own asses? Prime example. Right there."

"You're lying." Koneko found her voice, and it was not a kind or gentle one. "Kuroka went insane with Senjutsu and killed her King. She's a violent, heartless monster."

"If by insane you mean her near perpetual state of arousal, then I completely agree with you. Nutjob can't go ten minutes without trying to hump me and ask for my dragon babies."

"… What?" Sona wasn't the only one that asked this time.

It was a slight exaggeration. Even Kuroka knew that touching Issei from out of the blue was an insanely bad idea. But that didn't mean she didn't try to sneak a hug in every now and then after preparing him for it.

That, or grab his ass.

… He wasn't oblivious. He knew that whenever he did let her close, she would use her mastery of Ki and Senjutsu to calm his own system down.

It was nice, to be able to feel peaceful and calm again, at least for a little while. Resting his head between two glorious oppai…

"Mmmm. Ki hugs." Issei's eyes were glazed over as he lost himself in his memories.

"Issei? Issei! You're zoning out again!" Rias snapped her fingers near his head, already familiar with his occasional daydreaming episodes.

"Eh?! Where are the Oppai pillows of peace and tranquility?!" His head whipped around, eyes filled with confusion and betrayed loss.

Sona decided to ignore his question. "You were talking about the Stray Devil Kuroka."

Issei blinked, getting his head on straight. "Kuro? Oh. Right. The public story has the order of events wrong. She killed the prick that was her King first. When she went through with that, the failsafe built into Peerage pieces that're supposed to protect the King from insubordination and rebellion kicked in."

Certain individuals listening to him stood still like statues. Unable to speak or even react properly.

"Like I said before, magics from differing mythos rarely mix well. The feedback from the piece in her screwed with her Senjutsu control, but not before she followed through killing the guy. When the rest of the Peerage came by to see what was happening, they saw her going out of control over their King's corpse and assumed what was the public story now. The rest is as expected. Kuro ran away. Managed to get her powers under control. Got labeled a stray. And no one bothered to look any deeper than that."

"Is that the story she told you? And you believe her?" Sona gave him a disappointed look, as if expecting him to not be so gullible.

"I do. Because unlike most people, I actually have an education on Senjutsu and know what a person that loses control and goes mad with it actually looks like, and all the associated symptoms. Animus infarction. Hyper-sensitivity. Physical mutations. Hyper-dilated pupils. Myocardium irregularities with results resembling Brugada Syndrome. Mutations originating from the chakras, primarily from the Muladhara, Svadhishana, Anahata, and Ajna. I had all the proof I needed when I healed her and saw none of it." Issei yawned. "I have absolutely no skill in the art itself, but that doesn't mean I'm clueless about how it works and how to treat at least some related maladies."

Thank all that was decent that his ability in using Ki hadn't slipped.

"He does sound like he knows what he's talking about." Kiba hesitantly noted.

Akeno stepped forward, putting a hand on Koneko's shoulder to calm the girl down before she erupted. "How do you know anything about Senjutsu in the first place?"

"I was curious." Issei lamely excused himself. "Kuro did volunteer work at a university that I… frequented, when she was part of her Peerage. I talked to her a few times and she seemed to like me. I learned a lot from her. Also saw firsthand that her King was a piece of trash."

"And you think that taking a few lessons from her was enough to make you an expert on the subject?" Tsubaki probed, trying to find a flaw in the explanation.

"Of course not. But the scroll on Senjutsu written and autographed by the first Son Goku I have in my room gives me the impression that I'm more than learned on the subject than most Devils." He wasn't a collector on anything that wasn't porn, but even he was certain that the scroll was worth more than five of his house bare minimum.

"Th-the first Son Goku?!" Sona gaped. "He's one of the most powerful individuals on in the world! The world's leading expert on Senjutsu! His wisdom and experience is legendary, but he's rarely interacted with anyone for the past few centuries! How did you get your hands on such a valuable tome?!"

"I asked for a detailed manual on Senjtusu for my birthday for research. Kuro got me that. How? Fuck if I know. It's not fake though. I had the signature verified and certified by an expert. Either way, I'm not complaining." Issei shrugged, as if dismissing the absurdity of it all. "There's over a dozen visible and permanent symptoms of someone that's lost themselves to Senjutsu. Last time I saw her, she sported a fat zero on it… technically a point five since she does get a bit feral and twisted if she gets a bit pissed, but that's more an aftereffect of being forced to lose hold of her powers, if only for a short time."

Because Issei wasn't bothering to pay attention to those around him, he didn't notice the death glare that Koneko was giving him. Rias, on the other hand, did.

"Issei. What you told us was interesting about Kuroka, but you never explained one important part. Why did she kill her King in the first place? If she didn't do it because she went mad, if she was losing control of herself going through with it, then why risk her life?"

"Turn around. Keep breathing deeply. I'm checking your lungs. Fire breath and all that." Issei instructed Saji with a bored tone, momentarily ignoring Rias and pressing his palms on the young man's back.

"Why? Easy. Like I said, her King was a total prick. I met him before. Asshole didn't like the fact that Kuro was stronger than him and started to get obsessed with Senjutsu. Thought he might get stronger if he tried to do some insane experiments on her sister, Shirou… something or whatever, and try to transplant the spiritual glands that made Nekoshou so good at it so he could use it. Kuro found out, and was not happy, to put it lightly."

Anyone that knew Kuroka knew of her one major rule. You even think about touching her sister, you die horribly. No exceptions.

Rias' peerage, plus Sona were struck mute.

"She has a sister?" Saji, on the other hand, was completely clueless.

Issei rolled his eyes, as if remembering something annoying. "If Kuro wasn't talking about sex, she was talking about her little sister. Shirou this. Shirou that. Total sis-con. Whoever got into a relationship with her would have to resign themselves to the fact that they'd always take second place to the poor kid."

"Sounds like they came as a package." Saji surmised. "Wasn't she affected by the Peerage feedback too?"

"Nah. She luckily wasn't a part of the guy's group if I remember correctly. She was taken care of, but Kuro did all the work. Totally spoiled her, but from what I understand, all they had were one another for a while, so it makes sense."

"What happened to her?"

"If there was one thing that Kuro did regret the day she went awol, it was that she wasn't able to escape with the girl. Kuro practically killed herself all over again when she realized her sister was being made a scapegoat by the Devils. You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get the full story to Zechs and get her out of the fire. I lost trace of her after that, but Zechs and Kuro both confirmed that she's doing well, wherever the hell she is. So, problem resolved."

All in all, it was probably for the best that they didn't escape together. Kuroka really was on the edge of death by the time she made it to Issei's home, and it wasn't because of the feedback. The odds of either of the two surviving the Devil hunting parties while Kuroka was in such an unstable state was a bad joke at best.

"My brother knew this the entire time?" Rias really didn't want to accept the fact that Sirzechs hid something like this from her and Koneko, but she couldn't deny that he'd do it either.

"Yup. Couldn't do anything about Kuro being labeled a SS stray, but at the very least, the younger sister wasn't completely screwed over. Why do you think that Lucifer personally got involved in the first place when he had no real reason to from an outside perspective?"

Rias opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't find anything to say. Issei was right. Sirzechs was a good person, but he was frequently swamped with work and many political matters. In the grand scheme of things, he genuinely didn't have a real reason or motive to save Koneko. And yet, Koneko was a part of her Peerage because her brother pushed the two together.

Because Issei had helped her.

"Of course, now there's also now a ban on independent experimenting with Senjutsu. If a Devil wants to play around with that stuff, they have to jump through a load of hoops and have a certified Senjutsu Master supervise the entire thing. Certifications which, I might add, are more or less impossible to get unless you shell out a small fortune to a select group of braindead ass-hats that are unable able to tell the difference between Senjutsu and a magic act in Vegas. Funny how that didn't make it into the news."

"Why?" Her voice was soft and trembling, but anyone that even glanced at Koneko could tell that she was going through so many emotions right now that she didn't even know what to feel.

"Why what?" Issei on the other hand, didn't even look at her, too busy writing down notes about Saji. "Ok, Runt. You're doing well so far, but I'm going to give you some special soap and deodorant later to keep your scent glands and hormones from affecting those around you. Also, you're going to want to have more meat in your diet from now on. Whatever the Enabler said you should eat for your standard workouts, add at least two more portions. On top of that, I recommend doing some basic meditation exercises for the next month or two to get your temper under control. At least long enough for you to acclimate yourself to your new condition…"

"Why didn't she take her sister? Why didn't she explain this to her?" The small girl's hands tightened into tight fists.

"That? From what I understand, the poor kid was traumatized to Heaven and back by the whole fiasco and the following fallout. The idiots from the King's family were desperate to hide the fact that he was doing a bunch of crazy illegal experiments behind everyone's back. It would have obliterated their reputation. So, they went about trying to mask it all by blaming the Nekoshou and Senjutsu as a whole at the top of their lungs and throwing money left and right to people that would help spread their "truth". The sister just happened to be the easiest target on hand at the time that everyone could point their fingers at. If you think about it, it was pretty obvious when everyone's attention and the news was focusing on the poor kid that didn't do a damn thing instead of the runaway sister that you know, actually killed the guy. Not exactly subtle."

There was more than one Devil there that was blinking owlishly, absolutely caught flatfooted by how obvious some of Issei's evidence was.

"After everything had calmed down, odds were that Kuro felt that Shirou wouldn't listen even if she tried to show up then. I heard that the sister got put into a good Peerage and is being taken care of. Knowing Kuro, she probably thought something along the lines of "so long as she's safe, I can always tell her later when she's ready. I don't want to ruin that one's happiness any more than I already have." Like I said. Total sis-con."

Apparently that had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Without uttering a word, Koneko turned around and bolted away from everyone as fast as she could.

"Koneko!" Rias shouted in alarm, chasing after her along with the rest of her Peerage sans Gasper, who had been too surprised to follow.

"Hm?" Issei turned to watch the Gremory Peerage run away from him with disinterested eyes. "Eh. Probably a bathroom break. I have been doing nothing but exposition for half the morning…"

He completely missed the bewildered look that Sona's Peerage was giving him, as if asking "are you serious?"

"And thus concludes the sob story of a horny cat that spends more time lounging about fantasizing about her sister than doing anything genuinely nefarious." He summed up the story. "Oh. And a reason why I think upper class Devil society can suck a bag of dicks for all I care."

"… Really?" Sona broke character for once, looking at where Rias had run off to. "You genuinely didn't realize what just happened?"

"What just happened? Did I miss something? I can only do so many things at once." Finally, the glowing around Issei's hands dulled. "White Magic takes a lot of concentration for me to pull off. I don't have a natural talent for it, so I tend to block out most things when used because I need the extra focus."

"And yet you still managed to tell us the whole story of that stray devil Kuroka." Tsubaki tried to poke a hole through his argument.

"It's important in a lot of cases to ensure that the patient is conscious and get them to tell you if something is wrong while treating them." He stood his ground. "If you can't do that much, you have no reason to learn medical arts."

Sona pouted in frustration, knowing that he was right. The Sitri family was heavily invested in the medical field. Some of the best hospitals in the underworld were on her family territory. As a result, she also knew a thing or two about the healing arts.

"Right. Here." He tore off the piece of paper from his notebook and handed it to Saji. "Just follow these instructions and you should be all good. Also, if you encounter a middle aged guy with black hair and blonde bangs that looks like he spends most of his time screwing women but can't hold a relationship for the life of him, run away and let me know."

Saji blinked, taking the instructions. "Uh. Why that second part?"

Issei grabbed Saji's outstretched hand and pressed down on a few specific pressure points. As if on reflex, Saji's Sacred Gear, resembling a black chameleon resting on the back of his hand, materialized.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Absorption Line. One of the Sacred Gears that contain a shard of Dragon King Vitra's soul. The guy I told you about has three of the others and likes to experiment on people without their permission for fun. I shouldn't have to explain things any further than that."

"R-right." Saji was trembling. "Crazy scientist. More Sacred Gears. Understood."

"Good." Issei turned to his next target. "Dio."

"Gasper."

"Dio." He took out a tennis ball and tossed it to the vampire. Gasper had been so surprised by the sudden action that he barely managed to catch it.

"What is it?"

"A tennis ball."

"… And?"

"It bounces."

"That's it?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? It's just a fucking ball."

"Can you blame me?"

"Without hesitation."

"… Why did you give me a tennis ball Senpai?" Gasper gave up trying to make sense of Issei's actions just as quickly as he had started.

"You're going to practice using The World on it."

"You mean Forbidden Balor View."

"Yes. Like I said. The World."

Sona had been Rias' friend since they were infants, and was one of the first people the redhead contacted whenever she got "an adorable new Peerage member to spoil". Gasper had been no exception. As a result, she was fairly used to seeing pretty much all sides of the Gremory Peerage's personalities.

This, on the other hand, was the first time witnessing kind and shy Gasper actually showing signs of genuine annoyance.

"How?"

"Easy." Issei shrugged. "Toss it up. Freeze it. See how long you can hold it in place. Let go. Repeat. Its control training. Flicking the switch on and off. The faster and stronger you can pull it off, the better. The easier it is to use in general. After a while, try freezing it two times a toss, then three. Be creative."

Gasper blinked in surprise, genuinely astonished that he was given such a low key regimen. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"You think that it will help me?"

"I think it should be a standard for all Sacred Gear users. There's no point in having a game breaking weapon or skill if you can't even get it out on time." Issei deadpanned. "At my best, I could whip mine out and dismiss it five times in a second. Twice if I actually wanted to use it for something. Yours comes out fully activated, so I fully expect you to eventually blow me out of the water once your balls drop. No, rather, with your powers, you should aim for such a ridiculous goal in the first place."

"Turning off and on Forbidden Balor View rapidly… you don't mean?" Sona blinked in surprise, understanding exactly what Issei was getting at.

"What the eye sees is constant, but the electrical pulses that send data it records to the brain are semi-intermittent. The human eyes' normal upper range of recording visual information is around sixty to ninety instances. It's called the flicker-fusion frequency. Of course, it's the normal for generic humans under generic circumstances. It'll be higher for Demons and Vampires in the midst of battle. If Dio can sync his Sacred Gear to that, he could theoretically stop and start time on his target so quickly that from an outside perspective he's slowing them down to whatever speed he wants instead of simply just stopping them. The difficulty of control is significantly higher, but in theory, the physical tax on his body and mind would be monumentally less. Meaning he'd be able to use his powers more without exhausting himself."

"I… can slow down time? Not just stop it?" Gasper blinked in genuine surprise.

"With practice. You're a Devil with a mutated Bishop piece and a Sacred Gear holder. Your powers are so disgustingly flexible as fuck that the cast of Cirque de Solei would be throwing up its arms in frustration trying to compete. Use that. Abuse that. If you have a problem, figure out a way your powers can deal with it and then master that approach. I'm just showing you the first few steps. You have to figure out the rest."

"I, you think I can do that?"

Issei nodded firmly.

"Of course you can. You're Dio."

Sona didn't get what just happened, but it was clear that Issei had just ruined whatever moment he could have had with Gasper from the defeated look on young boy's face and slumped over posture.

"… I'm just going to practice now."

Sona and her peerage watched as the young Vampire walked away with tears in his eyes. "You're a terrible person."

"And you're an Enabler."

"I don't even know why I even bother to try anymore."

"Because I'm unfortunately likely to serve a major role in your life in the future and the longer you go on not figuring me out the longer you're going to drive yourself mad mulling over it."

"… I hate you."

It might have been a trick of the light, but from the corner of her eyes, Sona could have sworn that Issei had smiled, if only for a brief moment.

"Oi. Enabler's minions. Line up. It's your turn to be inspected, humiliated, and given advice."

o. o. o.

Despite all the chaos that Issei had generated around Rias' group and Sona herself, the rest of her Peerage's experience with him had been rather tame in comparison.

Outside of Saji, Sona had a Queen, two Bishops, a Knight, a Rook and a pawn.

He did the two Bishops first at the same time to get them out of the way. Momo Hanakai and Reya Kusaka. Their kits and abilities were roughly the same. Strong in magic. Decent shape. Devils for a couple of years already. Basic experience in fighting Stray Devils. Reya had some talent for communication spells, which could be pretty useful further down the line, but overall, they were pretty generic. Not terrible, just generic.

Save for the fact that Sona had been teaching them Reverse magic, spells that invert the nature and purpose of other spells and abilities.

He had to give the Enabler credit where it was due. As far as spells that held usefulness in the long term, he considered Reverse disgustingly high up there. It was a good call. The only problems with it were that it was near useless against pure physical fighters and it was damn hard to learn.

Their training in the end was fairly basic and straight forward. Try to use their support magic to do nearly everything in their lives. Brush their teeth. Dress themselves. Talk to one another. Bullshit everything all the time whenever feasibly possible.

The constant use of their spells would enhance their stamina and increase the flexibility of their thinking. The girls were clearly designated to supporting roles for now, so there was no point in trying to get them to practice anything offensive. Once their stamina and confidence in battle increased a bit, then they could turn their attention to the offensive.

Next was Tomoe Meguri, a knight who, surprise surprise, specialized in swordsmanship. Katannas in particular.

What was more interesting though was the girl apparently came from a family of exorcists. It took a bit of prodding to get the whole story from her, but apparently she had been cursed by birth by some Demon that had a grudge against her family. One that could apparently only be removed by ironically being reincarnated.

Issei instantly instructed the girl to read up on curse magic. Apparently, people who were afflicted by them at a young age and survived tended to develop an affinity for the things later on.

"You're not a power type, so use your speed for guerrilla warfare when your opponent is stronger than you. Cursing your targets in drawn out fights is perfect for your style. What kind of curse? Why the hell are you asking me that? Go figure it out yourself."

Next was the Rook, Tsubasa Yura. Judging from her expression as she approached him, she was holding a grudge for the whole humiliation bit earlier.

Another almost generic individual. Tsubasa was rather large for her age, sex, and nationality, in a physically fit with muscles way. In fact, she sported a few centimeters over Issei when he had a good look at her. It was clear from the way she walked that she was extremely used and comfortable with fist fighting.

On a side note, she too was also learning magic from Sona, and was making strides to learn Reversal. Her progress was slower than her Bishop comrades, but she was getting there. It would be interesting to see her use it in battle, that was for certain.

Apparently she had known about the mystical world since she was a kid. Her natural perception was exceptionally high, being able to see and physically interact with magic and faeries and the like. Hell, she had even been fighting monsters and evil spirits solo before she had even met Sona.

Issei's instructions were to practice hitting stuff.

She almost started with him.

By "stuff", Issei had meant anything mystical, magical, or spiritual. Fireballs. Mana. Barriers. The more things she conditioned her hands against, the more effective they would become against the magic world until said hands could, in theory, become anti-magic bludgeoning instruments of death. Able to plow through virtually any defense she came across with a solid straight if she trained enough. A metaphorical spear of flesh and bone.

She still almost started with him after he explained himself.

Next was Ruruko Nimura. The pawn.

With blinding striped green thigh high stockings.

She was instantly dubbed "Asian Pipi Longstockings".

Said Longstockings then almost made contact with his face. Many times.

Asian Pipi didn't have any interesting backstory at all. She just happened to stalk Sona long enough to find out that the latter was a Devil and asked if she could be reincarnated. No particular skill in magic. Overall, just a low leveled well balanced scrub.

Perfect scout material.

She was redubbed "Stalker-stockings", and subsequently attempted once more to give him a concussion.

Initially, he thought it was because her nickname shortened was S.S. He was soon corrected, as the murder in her eyes turned apocalyptic when he voiced his thoughts.

Issei, from a safe distance, told her to practice stalking people without getting caught and try and learn about as many things about different individual people as possible without raising any suspicion.

He totally didn't give her such an unassuming task so that she would stop trying to kill him and not offend his sight with those unholy ugly stockings anymore.

A pity too. She had damn juicy thighs. The abominations totally ruined the near perfect "absolute territory" that she had going.

Last before Sona was the Queen, Tsubaki Shinra. The sexy librarian slash secretary with ungodly long ebony hair that went down to her kneecaps.

It was a good thing that her King was wealthy. The poor girl probably spent a small fortune on quality hair care products every month.

Like Tomoe, Tsubaki came from an exorcist clan, purifying spirits. Unlike Tomoe, Tsubaki actually had a Sacred Gear. Mirror Alice. A mirror with the classic "reflect an attack at double damage" effect.

Oh, and she could use a naginata to some degree. Nothing special there. It was a fancy spear as far as he was concerned. A knife on a stick. No special moves with it either.

Between the Sacred Gear and (at least) three Peerage members that were learning Reversal magic, Issei was fairly certain that Sona was planning on horribly mindfucking and abusing anyone that disobeyed her tyrannical rule in the future. God save the world if the Enabler managed to get her hands on someone with actual high grade mind reading-or-twisting powers.

… Oh wait. There is no God anymore. Shit.

Sadly for Tsubaki, Mirror Alice was pretty limited in its use at the moment. Long cooldown time. Limited size. It was more a special move used only for specific occasions rather than a reliable weapon. A gimmick.

He told her to work on that. Go to a local Ikea and start browsing around for any mirror she could see and try to imitate them. Change the shape of Mirror Alice or split it up into multiple smaller mirrors for convenience. Try and see if reflecting attacks at normal strength would reduce the cooldown time. Stuff like that.

As a final project, he suggested she try to lace the blade of her naginata with her Sacred Gear to give it a bit of flair and trick to use in close combat that no one would see coming. Let her smack back enemy attacks at them while in the middle of physical combat.

In a pleasant change of pace, Tsubaki didn't try assaulting Issei after he was done examining and instructing her. Instead, she just thanked him before walking off to do as he advised.

Issei came to the conclusion that she was nice. Boring, but nice.

Throughout it all, Sona watched with an impassive expression, only speaking up to clarify a fact or aspect of her subordinates whenever she thought it was necessary.

It was only after they had left to start their training and tasks, when she was alone with Issei, that she spoke her thoughts. "You're enjoying this."

"Come again?"

Sona shifted her glasses. She probably wasn't the only one that noticed that Issei had gradually reduced the severity and frequency of his insulting comments the longer he worked. He wasn't kind by any regards, but it was clear that he was putting genuine thought and effort into what he was doing. He was actually trying to help them. "… Never mind. It was just a baseless observation."

He looked at her skeptically before shaking his head in defeat before reaching into his pockets for something. "Whatever. So I'm guessing you're versed in the famed Sitri water magic?"

"I thought my sister would have told you everything about me by now."

"If your sister is to be believed, you're at least on par with Poseidon, and every time you smile, angels come down and bow before your radiance."

The Sitri heiress' face turned crimson red and turned away from the young man. She was going to have to have words with her sister later. "… Nee-sama, says a lot of things sometimes."

"No need to tell me twice. We both know Sera's at least three different kinds of crazy." He meant it. He counted.

Sona stilled, her complexion returning to normal as she turned in his direction. "Why does she trust you? If you're telling the truth… Nee-sama doesn't show that side of herself to just anyone."

He shrugged. "I figured it out. Called her out on it like a complete idiot. Got scared shitless. She found me interesting and adorable for some reason. And now I keep mum about it just like everyone else that isn't frozen in an icicle and hidden in that secret cavern she has somewhere in your family territory."

"You even… you know what, never mind. It's better for the both of us if we stop the conversation there."

"Crazyyyyyy."

"Do you have any advice for me or not?"

Issei rolled his eyes, taking out a pack of unmarked gum, and popped a stick into his fanged mouth without bothering to note the glare she was giving him. "… Your Peerage isn't bad for a bunch of generics, but you're putting too much faith in yourself."

"What do you mean by that?" Her tone was hard and unforgiving. It was clear that she didn't like being critiqued or accused of making a mistake.

Chewing the gum, he watched Gasper in the distance, tossing a green ball up in the air and then stopping it as it was about to fall down. The kid was probably trying to time it so that it froze at the highest point. "Right now, you vastly outstrip the rest of your group in terms of raw power and combat ability. Three users of Reversal and Mirror Alice? You have the technical skills and tricks all down to handle most enemies around your level and maybe a couple of tiers above that if you plan right. I doubt the Weeb's entourage would last long against yours if you plan accordingly, and that's not just because you have more minions than she does. But, if you come across someone genuinely strong, your group's gonna be wiped out in no time flat effortlessly. The only people that would manage to last more than a few seconds are you and maybe your queen if your opponent gets sloppy. In that scenario, the Weeb's group has a higher chance of survival. Unlike you, her Peerage isn't overly dependent on the King if put in a tough spot. Just by looking at them, I can tell they know how to at least take a few hits."

Sona blinked once, her posture stiffened slightly. She did not expect him to come to such a peculiar conclusion so quickly.

She expected even less that he had reached the same one she had come to only after half an hour of going over her forces herself.

"… And you think I am unaware of this?"

"I think that you, like everyone else, dislike admitting your faults. Especially in things you take pride in."

"And what do you take pride in?"

"Porn." His answer was immediate and shameless. He blew out a bubble with the gum, popping it loudly as if further exemplifying just how little he cared about impressions.

She sighed in defeat. "I have your analysis. What's your advice?"

"Nothing exceptional right now. Get the Runt up to snuff. Let the others play with their abilities and grow. Build their foundation more to increase their odds of survival. You're not a frontline group, but that doesn't excuse you from being able to at least take a few hits."

"And for me?"

"Get better at fighting." He shrugged. "Your peerage already has supplementary abilities in spades. You're their strongest pillar, no, their foundation. They need to catch up so they can hold their own, otherwise your group's going to stay unbalanced. But, at the same time without you they're screwed in a real fight, and deep down they all know it. Get stronger so when you are forced to draw attention to yourself, you can handle it. It'll be your best hope for survival."

She couldn't argue against that logic, but still… "Survival. You keep on focusing on that. Instead of winning."

"You can't win if you're dead. A short fight means someone's screwed up. You look like a person that hates mistakes."

"Humph." For what felt like the first time, Sona smiled in Issei's presence. "You're wrong. The only mistakes I dislike are ones that I make. I'm actually quite fond of those made by my adversaries."

And people wonder why he called her Enabler. "Whatever you say."

"I still haven't received any specified training advice."

Issei rolled his eyes. "Fine. Sera told me about your habit of shaping your spells into animals, so your control is already good. Start focusing on other styles. Quick draws and other gun-like spells to increase your magic accumulation speed and small scale pinpoint damage. The faster and more accurate, the better. Flooding and territory manipulation for extra boosts for bigger fights and scale adaptation. Both should help increase your control, power output, stamina, and adaptability rapidly so long as you stick to it. Alternate between those two every week to keep things consistent. Play around with animals when you aren't doing those for mid-range flexibility and versatility. Between the three, there shouldn't be a day where you aren't drained of magic by the time you go to sleep. All in all, nothing outlandishly special or unique compared to what you were expecting."

"That's it?" She was surprisingly disappointed.

"Your sister's killed more people with the basics than anything else. Same with the rest of the Satans. Only an idiot relies only on special moves to win all their battles. If you want some monstrous secret ability that will turn you into a final boss character, make it yourself. Don't rely on me for that. I'm just here to make sure you lot are less likely to die in stupid ways."

"Fine."

"…" Issei glanced at her skeptically, his expression unreadable as he continued to chew his gum.

"What?"

"… Your sister was right." He sighed, as if giving up and making a decision.

"About what?" She was beginning to lose her patience.

He shook his head. "If you want something special to do, start working with your Queen doing combo spells and the like."

"I fail to see how there is anything special about that." Despite what she said, Sona's mind was already trying to decode whatever it was that Issei was trying to tell her. He clearly had something in mind.

"Calm down. I'm not dumb enough to spoon feed you everything. If I did, your pride would kill one of us by the end of the week."

"Why would you assume that there exists a situation where I would kill myself before you?"

"Because if you can't kill me, you wouldn't be able to live with the idea of me holding the fact above your head till the end of time." Issei picked his nose with his pinky, clearly not taking anything seriously anymore.

The next thing he knew, Sona had manifested a gigantic orb of water above her with various tentacle like appendages wiggling around its surface. What was even more ominous was the completely dead expression she had on her face. "If the next words out of your mouth aren't useful, I'll put your claim to the test."

It was at that point that Issei decided that he may have reached his quota for messing with Sona for the day. "I-It's not that hard. Use your head that everyone keeps on raving about. Think about what your respective specialties are, what they do, and how they can work together. Similarities and aspects."

Their specialties? Tsubaki was her Queen. She specialized in magic, her naginata and Mirror Alice. Sona specialized in water magic. It couldn't be magic he was talking about in general, so all that was left was the weapon, the mirror and her wat…er.

Oh.

Damn. He actually did say something useful. Part of her was disappointed that he didn't push her luck and go through with her threat.

She wouldn't have killed him, but the action itself would still have proven… therapeutic.

With a flick of her wrist, the conjured water had vanished. "You are insufferable."

"I've been told." He sighed in relief, still chewing the gum. If Sona had attacked him, she'd probably blame the subsequent damage on him too.

She glared his mouth. "Must you do that here? Class is not in session, but I still don't tolerate gum in school."

Issei gave her a look before reaching up to his mouth and pulling back one of his cheeks to reveal his teeth.

His perfectly normal human teeth.

"Just gimme a minute or two. I'll spit it out soon."

Sona blinked, slightly surprised by the fact that the gum actually served a purpose. "You can't revert it back by yourself?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Nope. Dragonification's a funny thing. Dragons are perfectly capable of transforming into humans once they're strong enough and know what they're doing. But, part dragons don't have the luxury. I can keep the initial transformation down so long as I keep it in mind, but once turned I need some way to drain the dragonic energy from my mouth. Since there's no spiritual energy specialists around willing to make out with me every time it happens, chewing on this shit's the best I can do."

Come to think of it, his stock of gum's getting pretty low. He'll have to bug Azazel soon for a new shipment.

"Oi!" Before Sona could say anything about what she had learned, someone called to them from nearby.

"Oh. I was wondering when they'd get back." Issei blinked as Rias and Kiba approached them.

"Sorry about running off like that." Rias apologized with a shaky smile. "Koneko's, not feeling that well. Akeno is looking after her for the moment."

"Must have eaten something bad." Issei shrugged, brushing off the girl's behavior as inconsequential.

He completely ignored the looks he got from the Devils around him.

"Rias, Hyoudou has already inspected and advised my Peerage and myself. His conduct was… as expected, but there is some worth to his words." Sona summarized his interaction with her Peerage briefly. "Since you were not present to hear of what I will focus on, I will leave so I do not intrude on your privacy."

With that and a brief nod, Sona left in the direction that Tsubaki was in.

"Hmmm." Rias watched her friend leave. "How interesting. You must have impressed her, Issei. Sona does not give out compliments frequently."

"I just gave out some pointers. It's up to you guys to follow through on the rest. Nothing special." Issei shrugged off the praise.

Rias smiled, as if expecting his reaction. "Well then, now that we're here, I don't suppose you can get started with Kiba."

"Sure." He turned to the blonde knight, who was once more smiling in a way that clearly didn't reach his eyes. "So. Knight. Sword user. Man slave. And on the brink of a psychopathic meltdown. You have anything else? Practice magic? Cursed as a baby? Secret government project? Bitten by a radioactive spider?"

"You really don't stop, do you?" Kiba sighed. After the past few weeks, he had developed a slight immunity to Issei's cold remarks. So long as he wasn't blindsided by something personal at least,

With a raised hand, the Knight materialized a sword in hand. "I have a Sacred Gear, like you. It's called Sword Birth. I can make any kind of sword I imagine if I focus hard enough. Powers and all. It's pretty flexible."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… Issei?" Rias didn't like the twitching in Issei's eye. It was an ominous sign that the young man was going to go off on something irrational again.

"Oi." His tone was dark. "You're not an amnesiac, are you?"

"What?" Kiba blinked in confusion. "No."

"An orphan?"

"Yes, but that's not that uncommon in our world, is it?"

"Please don't tell me you have some half assed hero complex."

"It's kind of hard to do that when I'm a Devil. I'm fine serving Rias." Kiba didn't know where Issei was going with this, but he had a feeling that he wasn't going to like it.

"Fascination with red and black color schemes?"

"Not really. Personally, I've been told I look good in anything."

"Obsession with cooking?"

"I'm ok at it at best. Cooking's more Akeno's hobby."

"You're unable to turn down a request for help regardless of who it is?"

"I try to be helpful, but I do have my limits and obligations. I can't waste my time with every problem that comes my way."

"Habitual urge to clean and fix things?"

"I like to be tidy when I can, but I wouldn't go that far. Again, that's more Akeno's specialty."

Issei's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Survivor's guilt?"

"…" Kiba stopped smiling confidently.

"Son of a bitch. Another one." Issei turned on Rias accusingly, catching her off guard. "How on earth does no one recognize your smothering Weeb potential!? How?!"

"What? Me? What did I do this time?!" She was more confused than surprised at this point.

"DIO!" Instead of answering her, the frustrated young man called for Gasper with a loud bellow.

Within moments, the dhampir was running right up to them, face full of worry. "What!? What happened this time?! I didn't do it!"

Issei pointed accusingly at the still scowling Kiba.

"K-Kiba?" Gasper blinked in confusion. "I… what? What are you talking about? What did Kiba do?"

"Type. Moon." Judging from his words, he fully expected his meaning to be obvious.

"Type Moon?" Rias blinked in confusion, as did Kiba.

Gasper on the other hand…

"Type… AAAAH!?"

Joined Issei in pointing at Kiba.

"Oh please no. Not you too Gasper." The young swordsman was getting frustrated being kept out of the loop.

"You understand what I'm getting at Dio?"

"I know! I'm surprised that I missed it too!" Gasper was an unusual mix of excited and genuine worry. "I mean, there are major differences too, but the resemblance is unnatural!"

"Gasper. Can you please explain why you and Issei are making such a big deal about Kiba?" Rias groaned. She had thought that she had finally gotten past this phase.

"Your Knight, is an expy of one of the most famous Japanese fictional characters of the current generation." Issei groaned, resting his head in a hand. "Between him, Dio, jailbait, and the yandere Yamato Nadeshiko … your entire Peerage is an ode to Japanese Geek Culture. It's like your innate weeb level is so high that you're doing it subconsciously. I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified of you right now."

"He's talking about a character named Shirou Emiya." Gasper clarified. "The Blacksmith Hero, well, he's more of an antihero depending on which version you're talking about. But, long story short, he can use magic to make instant copies of any bladed weapon he sees. Powers and all."

"That's it?" Rias was confused. "Why would he be so popular if he can just copy swords?"

"Any sword. Even ones from legends, to borderline perfection. Even…" Gasper stopped himself, looking at Kiba warily before moving on. "He's one of those characters that wasn't special in almost every way except for a small insignificant gimmick, and then mastered it to the point of literal insanity to help people. His ultimate move is called Unlimited Blade Works. It's a magic spell that pretty much rewrites the world to a landscape where all of the swords he's ever seen or made are pretty much everywhere and available instantly. At once. It's really cool."

Kiba momentarily glared at Gasper, not missing the quick change in subject and figuring out what he was about to say, but not commenting on it. "All my swords at once, huh? That does sound like a pretty interesting skill to have. Sadly, that doesn't sound like an ability I'd be able to use to its full potential if I ever did get it. It's not my style. Even then, I'd probably need to unlock my Balance Breaker to do something on that scale. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Too bad. You're playing the game." Issei shot down Kiba's rejection instantly.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Issei. Kiba's not a magician. He's a close range fighter. He has some skills in magic like all Devils, but that's it. Playing a game just so he might be able to imitate a spell is pushing it. Even for you." Rias chided.

He gave her a dirty look, as if she had accused him of doing something stupid. "I'm not asking him to imitate UBW, Weeb. I'm telling him to play the game to give him better ideas of how to use his Sacred Gear in the first place."

"I don't think Kiba does Archery." Gasper was confused.

"Archery?" Rias and Kiba were more confused.

Judging from the look on his face, Issei was reaching the end of his patience. "Dio. Remember the Type Moon verse and how complex it is. Man-Slave could easily incorporate some of the other aspects of how UBW works, and some of the other weapons abilities into his own Sacred Gear to diversify and make better weapons."

"I… yeah. You do have a point." Gasper relented, shifting on his feet.

"Really? You think me playing a video game is going to help me get stronger?" Kiba deadpanned.

This time, Issei did facepalm, as if the young swordsman had just said one of the dumbest things on the planet. "… Man-Slave. What are you?"

"I'm not answering that question." Kiba didn't trust Issei enough to assume that the desired answer was remotely normal.

"Weeb. What are you?"

Rias realized that Issei was aiming for a specific point. Something important and seemingly obvious. "… A Devil?"

"A Devil." He agreed, much to her relief that the answer was actually benign. "And, what is one of the greatest assets to being a Devil, specifically? An asset that the Angels and the Fallen don't have?"

Rias had to think for a moment, running through the reasons that she knew for the one that Issei might be talking about. "Our, flexible magic?"

"Mhm. Mhm." He nodded. "And, what makes Devil magic in particular so special compared to that of Angels and Fallen?"

"It's… based off of our imagination." Rias slowly was putting together the pieces.

"Good. Now. Is there anything that says that what you imagine can't be based off of another fiction?" He talked down to her as if she was a child. "What if that other fiction's magic system was incredibly complex, intricate, reasonable, had foundation, and had the potential to augment a series of spells or skills that you already knew, in a way to be more efficient and productive if integrated and incorporated properly?"

Rias didn't say anything. She didn't need to.

Kiba had come to the same conclusion she did, even if he didn't like admitting it.

"And this is why Devils are fucking idiots." Issei threw up his hands in the air in frustration. "If even a single percent of the damn population bothered to pick up a decently written comic book or fictional story and put any effort into trying some of that stuff for themselves, they would have won the whole damn war centuries by now. Natural weaknesses to the holy element and God's half assed system be damned."

Everyone thought that Serafall's magical girl show was just a hobby. Well… it was a hobby, but it was so, SO much more.

Crazy woman just had to realize that Sailor Moon had been one of the major gateway anime for fans when they were little.

Well… that and Dragon Ball, but apparently there was some kind of legal blockade with Son Goku that prevented anyone in the underworld from touching that particular trademark.

Beelzebub may have been an absolute genius and monster when it came to magic, but people? That was Serafall's domain, and she was so terrifyingly good at it that few would ever even believe the truth if told.

Issei had learned that the hard way.

"But, haven't comic books only been out for the past hundred years? And a lot of the popular comics are based off of myths in general." Gasper blinked in confusion. "And most of the fantasy stories that were earlier than that were based off of the true myths taking…"

"I know what I said!"

"Kiba. I know I may be asking for much, but could you humor Issei for now and play this game he's talking about?" Rias sighed. "At the worst, it's only for the weekend."

"I'm not really into video games." Kiba hesitated.

"It's a visual novel. Like a dating simulator. The most you do is pick what your character says every now and then and read the story. That's it." Gasper elaborated. "There is a bit of romance in it, but it's only between three main… oh."

"Oh what?" Issei frowned in confusion. "Does Man-Slave have something against chicks with inaccurate historical and mythological representations? Or unnecessarily long cooking scenes?"

Grimacing, the young Bishop had trouble looking away from Kiba. "Um… well. There may be a problem getting Kiba to stay on the game. He uh… one of the main characters is a version of, King Arthur."

Like a switch being pressed, Kiba's somewhat amicable expression dropped instantly. "I changed my mind."

Some of the energy that was fueling Issei's eccentricity bled out, giving way to curiosity. "You have a murder boner for King Arthur or something?"

"Yes."

"… Oh." He blinked, not expecting the blunt reaction. "Dio. Give him the Realta Nua version."

"I'm pretty sure that's not going to help convince him, Senpai." Gasper deadpanned. At best, it would only prevent Kiba from trashing whatever computer he was on due to the lack of female King Arthur sex.

"I'm not playing a game that glorifies a hypocrite that wields a useless magic stick." Kiba ground out.

"Good. Because the game is all about tearing apart that kind of useless hypocrisy viciously." Issei deadpanned. "It's full of bad ends too. Ones where your character dies horribly. Others die horribly too."

"You're not convincing me."

"And at the end of the third route, you kill her with your own hands. On purpose. After she was corrupted with a super conceptual god curse that twists even Excalibur into an amalgamation that is anything but holy."

"… You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Bitch, I will hack everything you own that's electronic and load every form of Fate Stay Night paraphernalia there is onto them until you cave in." Issei didn't back down. "… Especially the porn."

"That's a lot of porn." Gasper shivered, knowing just how big the Type Moon fanbase is.

"Please tell me you didn't give him my contact information." Kiba looked at his King with a pleading glimmer of hope.

"Sorry. To be honest I didn't think he'd take it, so I left everyone's numbers and emails with Asami-san." Rias apologized, slightly embarrassed by what had come from her actions.

Kiba cursed under his breath before noticing Issei's surprised expression. "… You were bluffing just now, weren't you?"

"…"

Kiba gave his King an extra dirty look.

"I'm sorry!"

"I was bluffing before, but I'm still going to take credit for that."

"That's not something to be proud of!" Gasper accused.

Kiba grit his teeth, clear annoyance in his expression. There was not a hint of the fake smile and geniality he normally had on. "… How long will it take?"

Issei's confidence lessened slightly at the question. "Eh. The game actually takes a while. It's pretty long. You might not finish it by Monday even if you binge it. The author's known to be a bit wordy at times. At the very least, you'd want to finish the second route, since it has the most relevant information for you. I recommend the third as well for some extra inspiration and unique tricks used."

Nine Lives Blade Works and Crane Wing Three Realms. Good stuff.

"Do I have to play the part where I'm, close, to King Arthur?"

"It's the first of the three main routes. Nonnegotiable. Sorry." Issei shrugged helplessly. "If it makes you feel any better, most people agree that it's the worst of the three."

"It doesn't."

The two male teenagers stared one another down, both unwilling to budge from their decision. Surprisingly, Issei budged first.

"If you quit being a child and do it, I'll sweeten the deal."

"With what? More porn?" Kiba wasn't going to bite.

"I'll fight you for real."

"… I'm sorry?"

"I kicked your ass with a cell phone. Do you really want to leave it with that? Are you that comfortable with rolling over and accepting defeat, Man-Slave?"

Kiba looked like he wanted to rectify that particular issue right then and there.

Tempting. This was far too tempting and everyone knew it. As a knight and a swordsman, his pride had taken a major blow from Issei's display earlier, even if he would not admit it. He was getting offered a legitimate opportunity to kick Issei's ass without getting in trouble.

Or at the very least, a chance to see just how strong he actually was.

Even Rias was tempted by the prospect, judging from the look on her face.

"… No cell phone?"

"No cell phone."

"No tricks?"

"I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to someone that supposedly knows what real fighting is like."

"… No cheap anti-devil tricks or aiming at my friends?" Kiba corrected himself with gritted teeth.

"Outside of that, standard back alley rules, and no bitching allowed regardless what happens in the end." In other words, anything goes so long as they don't murder one another or do anything permanent. Broken beer bottles, knives, swords, guns and all.

They could even call friends to help them out if they wanted.

The Devil was clearly annoyed by the fact that he was enticed by the prospect, but there was no hint of fallacy in Issei's dull eyes. He was genuinely serious about having the fight.

Kiba clearly wasn't happy with this outcome, but all things considered, this really was the best deal he was going to get. "Come on Gasper. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

Grimacing, Gasper followed Kiba, giving Issei and Rias reluctant looks behind him as he tailed the irritated knight.

"He really hates King Arthur, doesn't he?" Issei glanced at Rias.

"He has a grudge against holy swords in general." She relented. She clearly wanted to say more, but she knew better than to get in the way of two boys that were dead set on destroying one another. "I would have appreciated it if you didn't dredge it up again. It had taken him a long time to get over his past trauma in the first place."

Issei gave her a disbelieving look. "That was not him being over it. That was him pretending to be so people wouldn't bother him. Please don't tell me you actually believe that perpetual fake smile of his."

"You're equating his smile to your perpetual act of pushing everyone away?" She accused.

"…" He almost replied. Almost.

"I'm not stupid Issei." She crossed her arms. "Neither is Sona. The only reason why she hasn't figured it out yet is because she doesn't have as much experience as I do dealing with trauma victims. You must have deduced it for yourself as well by now. My Peerage isn't exactly adjusted."

It wasn't something she liked to admit. Akeno. Gasper. Kiba. Koneko. They were all damaged in one way or another. She had invited them into her home when they were at their weakest and most desperate. They were grateful, and did try their best, but Rias couldn't lie. Not a single member under her was completely healed from their ordeals. They just hid it so well that even they forgot about it.

That was, until Issei came along, with the subtlety of a battering ram.

It was understandable in a way. Issei hated and distrusted liars. People that lied to themselves were no different.

It made her wonder, just how much did he hate himself?

The two glared at one another, as if daring the other to say that they were wrong.

"… Tch." Surprisingly, Issei gave up first, turning away from Rias and walking to the school field with a put out expression. "Figures. Can't even last a couple of weeks before someone starts reading me like a book again. Damn it Nee-san. Why do you always have to be right?"

"Issei?" Rias blinked in surprise. "I… where are you going?"

Lifting up his left hand as he walked, he revealed a can of spray paint that clearly had not been on his person earlier. "Gonna tag up the field with markers for my training."

She knew he was changing the subject away from earlier, but the prospect of learning about how he was going to train was too much for Rias to resist. "Tag the field? Sona's going to kill you if you do that."

"Relax. It's water soluble. The Enabler can get rid of it all with a single spell or wait for the next rainstorm to come." He waved her off.

"But what about my training?" She asked, somewhat impatient. The fact that Sona had actually gone with whatever he said was reason enough to assume that he was decent at what he did.

Issei sighed before turning on her. "Power of Destruction, right?"

"Yes. I used it against Viser, when you…"

"When I was used as an extra-large consumable pleasure stick." He finished her sentence with a straight face. "How's your potency control?"

"Potency? You mean power?" She frowned in confusion. "I don't have as much control as Sona, but I am known as the Crimson Ruin Princess."

"Power." He rolled his eyes, saying the word as if it was a curse. Instead, of explaining himself, he held out his right hand and pointed his index finger up between them.

Before she could ask what he was doing, he puffed out his cheeks and blew a small ember of crimson fire onto the finger. Instead of going out, the flames stuck to his fingertip as if it was a candle.

"Watch." He instructed, and despite her confusion, Rias followed it without question.

A few moments later, without changing size or shape, the feeling of the fire itself began to change. The deep crimson red seemed to immerse itself in an endless vermillion, giving off waves of heat that vastly outstripped anything something its size should give off. Rias had to force herself to stay in place, even though her skin soon felt as if it was going to burn and peel off.

Deeper and deeper. Hotter and hotter. It was a hypnotic cycle of pain and power that Rias was certain that Akeno would revel in, until at the very core of the fire, a faint but piercing white light that was in complete contrast to the rest of the immolation was birthed, almost blinding her instantly…

And then Issei closed his fist completely, snuffing out the fire as if it was just any other ember.

"Well?" He asked again, as if his show was nothing remarkable. "How's your potency control?"

Rias shivered. That fire of Issei's. That beautiful, crimson fire that called out to her. At the end… it reminded her of her brother. Of the vast difference between his Power of Destruction, and hers'.

She couldn't tell if the red on her face was a result of the intense heat of the fire, or her own reaction to it.

So distracted, in fact that she didn't notice the small beads of sweat running down the side of Issei's face or his trembling right hand that was glowing in a faint green and white light.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Just because he could breathe and control fire didn't mean that he was fireproof. Fire resistant, yes, but not enough to be unfazed by stabbing himself with an ember that could cut through half a meter of solid steel in a single go.

"Idiot. That's what you get for trying to show off. Again."

"Shut up!" Thankfully, healing burns was something he was intimately familiar with. He just had to stall for a few more seconds and all the evidence would be gone.

"I… I'll work on it." Rias, unaware of Issei's internal struggles, relented to his advice. She made a mental note to warn Kiba of what she just saw the next time they had a moment.

That stage at the end… if he had made that giant fire dragon out of that stuff, would the school even be left standing by now?

Issei nodded, already feeling the throbbing in his hand die off. "The Power of Destruction's extremely aggressive in nature. Being able to use and control it in the first place is already a major step. Your brother, no, your family would not have let you out by yourself if you couldn't do at least that much. But you won't get much further than that if you think shaping and directing your power will be enough as if it was like any other magic spell."

She gave him a wary look. "… I'm not my brother." She did not want to be a carbon copy of Sirzechs, much less give people a reason to assume as much.

"You shouldn't try to be. But that doesn't mean that you should avoid some of the same steps he's taken. Restricting your options and ways to get stronger simply because of pride is retarded. Your life isn't the only one you're risking in the end."

Rias puffed out her cheeks childishly, clearly not fond of being admonished. It was, cute. "You've made your point quite clear already."

"You'd be surprised how many idiots can't hear my advice over the noise of me being a jackass."

"So you are doing it on purpose." She glared.

"More like I rarely make an effort to put up a filter." He counter argued.

"That's not much better."

"Never said it was." Having reached the center of the field, Issei bent over, shook the spray can in his hand, and made a large "X" on the ground. "Ok. That's zero, so, one meter should be about…"

Rias sighed. Arguing with Issei always gave her a headache. It was impossible to tell where he was going to end up in five minutes. At the very least, he was far more manageable to deal with when he didn't have anything to rant or rave about. "When it comes to my power, I can channel it and make it stronger, but increasing its potency's been hard for me. I always end up trying to cram more power into a small shape to compress and magnify the effects."

Issei rolled his eyes, not taking his focus off of the ground. "That's because you're doing it wrong. Cramming power that volatile in a small form is what novices do. Stupid power junkies."

"You make it sound so obvious. If that's the case, then why hasn't anyone told me that yet? Why isn't it in any books I have researched?"

"Beats me. Could be that your teachers wanted you to figure it out for yourself. Could be that they didn't want you to learn such a dangerous ability until you had better control over your powers. Could be that they didn't think that you'd need it." He had made eight marks all equidistant from one another and all one meter from the center.

He started the process again at two meters.

"But you think I do." She concluded.

"No." He looked up at her surprised expression. "I'm just giving you advice and one long term goal on how to get stronger. You're the one that determines if you need it or not."

He was done with the two meter marks now. Next were the four meters.

"I…" She didn't expect him to say that. She felt like she was going to get whiplash whenever he jumped between psychotic child and patient sage. "… I feel like I'm getting lectured in one of those old martial arts movies."

Issei rolled his eyes. "With most energy and conceptual based powers, it's pretty straight forward. Meditate with some of your power manifested, then try to turn it inside out. Push in the radiating outer shell while pulling out the near infinite core that is concept itself. The hard part is keeping it up and maintaining stability. If done right, you shouldn't be adding any additional power to it at all."

"That's it?" She was surprised.

"That's it. Simple in concept. Hard in execution. Like I said, it's maintaining stability and control that'll drive you nuts at first." He lost count of how many times he had burned himself learning this trick. He had not stretched the truth on the first day of school in the slightest when he said he had torched his entire arm on accident.

On the bright side, he had come up with a useful medical spell during the ordeal. Getting rid of clothing that had melted into burn wounds was important to prevent infection.

Of course, most people just thought it was just a gimmick to make people naked when they first heard of Dress Break. Plebeians.

… Not that he didn't have a maybe not so insignificant history of using it in that way too. The spell did have a rather interesting secondary effect if one poured enough magical energy into it…

Rias looked curiously at her hands, inspecting the black and red arcs of power that jumped between them as if witnessing it in action for the first time. "But, wouldn't that be dangerous? You said that you'd be, well, doing whatever to us during the weekend while we were training. Wouldn't distracting me while learning this be counterintuitive?"

"Don't worry. I'll find safe moments to drive you nuts without risking anyone's health. Probably when you're checking up on the others' progress. You look like the mother hen type." Issei brushed her off, making some more marks on the ground.

"You mean when you aren't practicing your dancing?" She gave him a wry smirk, making him pause. "Don't be surprised, Issei. I'm a high class girl that has some training in the arts. I know spot markers for a routine when I see them."

He shook his head in annoyance before continuing on with his work. "It's for coordination and control practice. I'm bigger than I was five years ago. I need to get used to things again."

"I figured. Still, I'm surprised. I thought that with your disposition you'd be a more aggressive and Power type of fighter." She hummed in curiosity, her mind already running through all the Sacred Gears she knew of with functions that depended on the user's natural physical size.

Power.

There was that annoyingly useless word again. There was no way to describe just how much he despised that word and all the meaningless weight that people put behind it. "Yeah well, sorry to break it to you, but I'm not a meat head that solves his problems by hitting them. I just yell a lot like one."

"… Yes, well, aren't we all thankful for that at least." He must have let something slip in his tone, because Rias decided to change the subject rather quickly. "… I am a bit surprised though."

"About what?" He was about finished tagging the submarkers within a four meter radius of the center of the field. Nothing too elaborate, but it was all the key locations he'd need to keep in mind for close range maneuvers.

"That you went out of your way to twist the story regarding Kuroka the way you did."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He responded on reflex before his mind caught up to what she had said.

Wait.

Twist the story? He had skipped a few details, but for the most part, he had kept pretty close to what had happened.

"Issei, I haven't known you for long, but even so I can already tell when you're pretending to play ignorant. You know that Koneko is Shirone." Rias sighed. "For all I know, you were looking for an excuse to tell her the whole story since you met her."

Actually, he only realized it was her a few days ago. Kuroka sent him a few texts to check up on him, make a few custom sex toy orders, plus a few dirty photos as was the norm, when he made the connection. Nothing new there.

More relevant was the fact that the black cat had on occasion sent him stalker-ish photos of her sister over the years (he never should have taught her how to use a professional long range camera), so when he vaguely remembered that Kuroka had a sister in the first place, and that Koneko looked somewhat familiar, he just added two and two together.

He almost genuinely tried to reach through the phone and strangle the stray.

He had always thought it was odd when Kuroka had decided to visit him more often than normal starting a couple of years ago. Turns out, it was just an excuse to have a safe place to crash and mooch food while spying on her sister after Rias moved into town.

The urge died quickly though. Partially because technically Kuroka didn't do anything wrong. Partially because he heavily suspected that the horny pussy would just get turned on if he tried to actually choke her with his bare hands. There were few women that Issei knew that had a libido as wide spread as that cat's, and as a purveyor of all things porn, he knew of maaaaaany females with questionable tastes.

"Your point? Does it really matter to Jail-Bait in the end if she knew that I knew who she was? I'm just some loudmouthed stranger that everyone's making a big stink about for some reason that nobody's talking about." He gave her an annoyed look. "I did skip a few details here and there, but I'm failing to zero in on what specific part you're referring to."

"Honestly, why can't you just…" The Crimson Ruined Princess gave him an equally annoyed, yet slightly confused look, as if looking for something that should be there, but wasn't. "… Issei, is what you told everyone the truth? Kuroka killed her King to protect Koneko, and then she was caught by…"

"Her Peermates, yes. They then raised the alarm, and she was run rampant by the entirety of Devil Society for two weeks before she wound up literally bleeding to death on my doorstep." Issei grunted, turning back to extending his range of marks on the school grounds.

Or he would have, if the fact that Rias hadn't said anything for more than fifteen seconds hadn't registered to him.

He was getting an extremely uncomfortable and familiar feeling in his stomach.

"… Weeb. What am I getting wrong?"

Rias hesitated. It was clear that she knew he was not going to like it. "Issei. Kuroka wasn't found by her fellow Peerage members."

… Oh no. Please don't say it. Don't tell him that he…

"You have got to be shitting me."

She grimaced. "She was found by Koneko. Koneko was the one that saw her standing over her king, half transformed from Senjutsu and covered in his blood."

The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach magnified tenfold.

He fucked up. Again.

His heart nearly jumped up his throat.

Not even two weeks outside of the house, and he had already made yet another colossal mistake.

He barely managed to push down the bile at the last moment.

Hadn't he learned from the last time? Why did he keep on making the same mistake over and over again? Why couldn't he just shut up and stay out of other's business like any other rational being?

Every time.

Every God Damn time he tries to do something good, even when there was not even the slightest expectation of compensation. Every time he genuinely tried to make the lives around him just the barest bit more tolerable, it just blows up in everyone's faces.

He knew this. He's gone through this so many times already. Why did he keep on thinking that this time would be different? Just because he doubted that anyone would thank him this time?

Nothing's changed at all. He hasn't change at all.

And, to top it all off. Kuroka, lied.

Issei didn't say anything. His gaze didn't deviate from the spot on the ground that he was about to tag, his upper body begging to shake.

"Issei, I…" Rias took a step back, actually feeling the pure malicious emotions coming from him. Killing intent aimed in no direction in particular. From her angle, she could just barely see the look of pure conflict and rage that was on Issei's face. It wasn't the same one he had when he was annoyed or going on a random tirade. He was genuinely angry this time.

"Fuck!" He shouted, crushing the spray paint can into a fist and ignored the blue paint splattering all over him. "Son of a god damn… lying over-sentimental… FUCK!"

His fragmented tirade caught the attention of the few devils that had stayed in the area. No one had been close to hear their conversation, but it was hard to miss him walking in circles shouting his lungs out and chucking the mangled remains of the can off in a random direction. He was so out of it that he couldn't even make coherent sentences for most of it.

"You!" He turned on Rias halfway in the middle of another explosive chain of nonsensical words, pointing at her accusingly. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I… what?" She was caught off guard, not expecting to be a guilty party.

"Why the hell did you leave her side you idiot!?" He snarled, surprising her once again. "That's one of the worst things you could do to her in her current state!"

"I, but, Akeno's with her!" Rias struggled to keep up. Trained in politics she may be, but she was not used to being suddenly put on the back foot like this. "She, Kiba, and I had caught up to her fast and managed to calm her down. After we talked, Koneko said she was getting better and that we could go back. I made sure she was ok. Akeno was keeping an eye on her. She should be fine. Akeno's like an older sister to everyone else in my Peerage and-"

"There's no way she'd be fine! Of course she'd say that! Practically everyone would say that after going through a shock like that even if it wasn't true to calm down the people around them and keep them from worrying!" Issei snapped, completely throwing away her excuse, his mind and mouth running on overtime. "I thought you would have known that by now since your entire peerage combined is roughly a third as unstable as I am!"

"Don't yell at me for this!" Rias lost her temper, clearly uncomfortable with being accused. "I'm not the one that started this mess in the first place!"

He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "If I knew that Jail-Bait was the one that found that delusional stray in the act, I would have used another story to use as my example on how much of a failure Devil politics are! Do you have any idea just how badly she's going to blame herself now that she knows what happened? She was the one that came on the scene. She was the one that raised the alarm before anyone else. She was the one that mistook a forced Senjutsu transformation for a willing loss of control for more power despite the fact that as a Nekoshou she's supposed to be naturally able to tell when something's off. She was the one that eventually led things in such a way that Nekoshou and Senjutsu users are all but blacklisted in the devil society. And it was completely by accident! Of course realizing that she fucked up that hard is going to rebound on her! It's not something anyone can just get over in a few minutes!"

Rias' breathing hitched as Issei more or less spelled out everything that had been weighing heavily on Koneko's conscience for several years already, and realized that this new revelation was only going to make these things assault the young girl with a vengeance now.

"YOU, on the other hand,became her sister's replacement in her life when practically the whole world came crashing down on her, her primary emotional pillar. Not the Yandere. Not Kuro. And certainly not your whipped and lame duck older brother. If you aren't around when she comes to those conclusions, there's no telling how long it's going to take for her to stop blaming herself for her misunderstanding if at all!"

He was certain that was where Koneko's mind would go after learning what she did. It was what he would have done if he was in her shoes. It was a road that he had already traveled down and had yet to return from.

He couldn't fix this. He was never the one that could fix things. Right now, the only one that could mitigate the damage adequately was Rias.

Rias stood stock still in place, coming to terms with the horrifying fact that Issei had realized her mistake faster than she did. Even scarier, that he had already pegged Koneko's personality down well enough that he knew what the girl was going to do before anyone else.

Clap!

Issei slapped his hands together in front of her face, glaring directly into her eyes. "Why. Are. You. Still. Here?"

"I…"

"Go!" He snapped, blasting a wave of killing intent at her, making her jump again and finally get her sprinting across the property. "Yah! Mush! Allonz-y! Move! Black thong! Good pick for physical workouts! Run bitch run! Just go already!"

Only later would Issei wonder why Rias had gone to a training session dressed in the school uniform. Those miniskirts were not meant for physical activity.

"… Fucking hell." It was only when the Gremory had almost made it to the other side of the school fields that he allowed himself to stop barking at the girl and berate himself for his part in the screw up.

He knew he should have just slept in today.

The dream. Shirou Emiya. Shiroune.

Gods above and below and all around, he hated the color white. Nothing good ever happened whenever the damn thing became significant around him frequently.

In a sick way it was ironic. Vali, the White Dragon Emperor, his "eternal rival", was actually an exception to the rule.

His heart was still racing. His stomach was still turning. His mind was still running at full capacity. He needed to calm down. His temper was at a high. It wouldn't be good for anyone to deal with him now.

"You know." A new voice mused as Issei watched Rias disappeared to wherever Koneko was. "I'm beginning to think that you really don't pay attention to what comes out of your mouth when you speak."

"Cougar… not now." He didn't turn around to address Raynare directly.

This wasn't good. She was the last person he wanted to deal with now. What he needed was a distraction. A way to vent.

Normally he had Porn around for this. Porn could distract him. Porn let him focus on something else. Porn calmed him down. He knew Porn. Porn was understandable. Porn didn't invade his personal life, or harass him, or eat his food, or lie to him, or ruin everything that he held dear.

Beautiful Oppai. Shapely asses. Moans. Sex. Cum. Climaxing. Life and humanity at its most intimate, beautiful, and natural. Why couldn't everyone realize and enjoy the simplicity and bliss of it all?

Ahh. He just wanted to watch porn and not deal with this anymore, but what else could he do now? It's not like back when he was young and used Vali as a convenient sandbag to viciously humiliate whenever the battle junkie got too overconfident…

"Aw. What's wrong? Angry that you accidentally mind fucked that poor little devil? Good job with that by the way. She looked ready to snap when she was running." The Fallen crooned teasingly, her inner sadist coming out in full force to the extent that she looked like she had just murdered someone with glee. "Or are you just miffed that everyone pretty much knows that you're just a softie with some teeth?"

… Sandbag acquired.

"Softie?"

Unfortunately, Raynare missed his eyes flashing dangerously, as if a trigger had been activated.

"Don't pretend. Practically everyone here heard you ream the Gremory a new one." She chuckled, almost crooning to him affectionately as if she was teasing a helpless pet. "Imagine what the world would say if they knew that the infamous Sekiryuutei that torched nearly half of the Bael's territory was actually a- where did you get those?"

While she had been confident and enjoying taunting Issei, said positive emotions gave way to confusion and horror as the teen turned around to face her…

… Holding a rather large and intimidating dildo in each hand.

Needless to say, her teasing and satisfied demeanor had died instantly as her brain tried to catch up to this new turn of events.

"I find it very hypocritical that you of all people would call me a softie, considering the fact that you've been doing nothing but lounging about and fattening yourself on my hospitality. Cougar." Issei was now the one purring like a predator, his eye sockets shining as if his eyeballs had been replaced by floodlights.

He took a step forward.

She took one back.

"Oi oi. Don't tell me you're finally letting go of your repressed urges and letting loose on me, are you? I don't do desperate." She tried to play it tough, but no one missed her quivering voice or the fact that her gaze had yet to turn away from the oversized sex toys.

She… thinks she might be able to handle them. But that would only be after some warming up. And a lot more lube.

Click.

Issei's hands on both tools shifted ever so slightly, flicking the switches that were hidden beneath his fingers.

*Rumble rumble.* *Rumble rumble.*

Raynare paled. Not just because the toys that were as thick as her (admittedly rather slim) arms began to shake and vibrate far more than any dildo she had ever worked with, but the fact that the damn things sounded like they were being powered by the engines of eighteen wheeler diesel truck engines. "… No seriously. Where the fuck did you get those things?"

"I made them. Canceled orders. I run a small side business making high quality custom sex toys on demand. You'd be astounded by the crazy shit that the elites of high society will order and the crazier money they'll pay for them. Human and not."

"And the glowing?"

Yes. The dildos were in fact glowing with magic now. They looked like incredibly short and unstable lightsabers.

The sight would have been hilarious, if one wasn't at risk of being at their mercy right now.

"Seventy four percent of all sex magic has roots in white slash life magic. Next largest contributor at seventeen is soul and mind magic. The remaining nine percent is whatever nifty tricks casters of the other practices come up with in their spare time." Issei stated ominously, making another slow and predatory advance. "I'll keep the one being used now a surprise."

"Of course. H-how silly of me." Raynare swallowed heavily. If the situation was different, she may have been turned on by the prospect of being pleasured by such enhanced toys. Sadly, the fact that they were in the hands of an increasingly psychotic and rapey looking teenager that reminded her of a certain stray exorcist did not tickle her fetish bone. "Y-you know, you're normally supposed to warm up before handling heavy toys like that. You've watched enough porn. No one goes in dry unless they're really fucked up."

"I know. And don't worry."

Squirt squirt.

From the ends of both wiggling monstrosities shot out very suggestive fluid, spraying drops in every direction.

"They're self-lubricating."

"Well. Fuck."

"That is indeed is the punishment for failing to complete your training." At this point, Issei was covered in an ominous aura that was a cross between a sadistically evil demon lord that feasted on the misery of others and a sketchy unstable sex fiend that one would find in an unfortunate alleyway.

She swallowed heavily. Clearly she had vastly underestimated what he was willing to do to women if pushed too far. "And… what training is that?"

Issei's eyes flashed with horrifying anticipation.

o. o. o.

Sona stepped outside of the school, slightly worried and concerned. She had heard Issei yell at what sounded like Rias rather viciously a few moments ago, and while it had gotten quiet for a time, the screaming had picked up again. Only this time the one yelling was clearly female.

She didn't know what had happened, but if that boy touched a single hair on her best friend's head she'd-

"WAAAAAAAH! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! AZAZEL-SAMAAAAAA! SAVE MEEEE FROM THIS INSANE BASTARD HUMANNNNN!"

Sona barely had time to blink before Raynare sprinted past her full tilt as if her life depended on it and the hounds of hell were after her, tears falling freely in her panic flooded eyes.

"What the-?"

"RUN FASTER COUGAR! FOR THE NEXT THREE HOURS, YOUR CLAPPING FAT ASS IS GOING TO BE MOVING FOR MY EYES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! IT'S UP TO YOU HOW IT'S GONNA SHAKE!"

Seconds later, Issei rushed past her with what appeared to be two glowing dildos that were making diesel truck sounds, looking as if he was a man on a crusade. In fact, if one looked carefully, he was actually gaining on the Fallen despite the fact that by all means she should be vastly more capable than him in all physical activities.

All in all, it looked less like exercising and more like a bad reenactment of a b rated slasher fic. Or a cartoon with a terrible budget and writing.

At that moment, Sona employed possibly the most infamous skill she possessed. The ability to completely and utterly pretend that whatever insane and traumatizing events taking place in front of her, didn't exist with a perfectly straight face. Something she had developed over her lifetime dealing with her sister.

"It's a good thing I set up the privacy barriers around the school." She said out loud, turning around and walking back into the building as if nothing was wrong.

"KYAAAA?! YOU POKED ME! YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO STICK ONE OF THINGS IN MY ASS!"

"I'LL DO MORE THAN POKE NEXT TIME PAWG! NOW KEEP MOVING! I CAN HEAR YOUR CHEEKS SMACKING THEMSELVES LOUDER THAN THAT USELESS MOUTH OF YOURS!"

"DEMON! INHUMAN BRUTE! BASTARD! FREAK! ABOMINATION! BLIGHT! MONSTER! VIRGIN! YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL SATANS! I HOPE HADES TAKES YOU AND BURIES YOUR SOUL IN TARTARUS FOR SEXUALLY HARRASSING A TREASURE LIKE ME!"

"I SWEAR IF THE NEXT THING YOU SAY IS THAT YOU'RE SAVING YOURSELF FOR THAT USELESS HOBO ZAZ, I'M SHOVING BOTH OF THESE THINGS DOWN YOUR THROAT TO SHUT YOU UP! LESS SCREAMING MORE MOVING!"

"I'M NEVER GOING TO BE A BRIDE!"

"LIKE YOU WERE EVER GOING TO GET MARRIED!"

"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"

"YOU HAVE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING BUT MOOCH SINCE YOU GOT HERE! YOU EAT MY FOOD! YOU SLEEP IN MY HOME! YOU STAY OUT LATE GETTING PISS DRUNK AND I'M LEFT CLEANING UP AFTER YOUR LAZY ASS WHEN YOU GET BACK! YOU DON'T HELP COOK OR CLEAN OR DO ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING FAT JOKES AND CALL YOU USELESS!? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR NON-HUMANS LIKE YOU TO GAIN SIGNIFICANT WEIGHT IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE DISPOSITION FOR IT!? BITCH I'M DOING YOU A SERVICE!"

"STALKER! PSYCHOPATH! SCOURGE OF DECENCY! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!"

"DO IT! YOU WON'T!"

HONK! HONK!

"WHY DO THEY HONK?!"

"CUSTOM ORDER! TRUCKER FETISH! NOT MY DECISION! KEEP MOVING!"

For an extra measure, Sona made sure to set up an extra magic barrier around the room that she and Tsubaki were training and talking in. Whatever positive impressions she had developed for him in the past few hours no longer existed.

And all was right with the world.

o. o. o.

Seven years ago:

In a realm flooded and dominated by clouds, a small group of angels accompanied a small human boy on top of a seemingly out of place stone walkway that seemed to extend into nowhere.

It had been an unexpected event. A detour in the road trip Issei had been taking with Azazel. Michael's curiosity had been piqued from his estranged brother's claims about the current Sekiryutei. The Fallen Angel may be a wily one at times, but there were some things that even he would not joke about. The sooner he met with Ophis' supposed grandfather figure, the better. Especially since the boy already had ties to the Fallen and the Devils. Azazel had simply underestimated just how quickly Michael would make room in his schedule for Issei's visit.

Of course, the leader of the Fallen, due to his position and circumstances, was stuck pouting in the waiting room in front of the Holy Gates for the duration of the event.

If he was to be believed, the DMVs in America was modeled after the place.

Even so, the Archangel could not help but employ the suspicion that Azazel had managed to slip in his own petty revenge at the last moment. Or rather, he had conveniently forgotten to inform Heaven of a few details.

"So yeah. Those are the places you want to scratch that Kuroka chick if you want her to be your own personal lap cat." Ghost lectured as Issei walked through Heaven with an escort that was desperately pretending to ignore their conversation.

Primarily regarding Ghost's and Issei's personalities.

Michael secretly patted himself on the back for not following Azazel's recommendations to the letter and letting Gabriel guide the unorthodox pair through the clouds. Or any female Angels for that matter.

"Fascinating." Issei was writing down notes at an obsessed rate. "I knew that cat girls were likely to have more nerves on their heads, but to think that they'd be so responsive. Twice the number of superficial temporal arteries and vagus nerves that are five times as receptive as a human's …"

"Yeah. Just make sure that you have their permission first before trying to pleasure them. Or that they're ok being around you in general. Otherwise they'll get responsive in a way that isn't pleasant."

"No doubt from experience." Ddraig snorted.

"Third wife bruh. And subsequent kids. I actually wrote a book on the do's and don'ts of inter-sub-species long term relationships."

"Wait, you were married to a cat girl?" Issei paused, genuinely surprised.

"Cat Woman, no relation to the DC Universe. Ah Cecilia. Fuck I miss her. The things she could do with her tongue…" Ghost sighed, clearly getting lost in memories.

"I can imagine." The boy rolled his eyes.

"You haven't lived until you've gotten a full body tongue grooming kid. Mmm! Getting tingles all over just remembering it."

"And now I… huh. That actually sounds pretty nice now that I think about it."

"Trust me. Imagination absolutely fails to meet the real thing in this case." Ghost was giddy with nostalgia. "Just make sure to be somewhat scrubbed up before the appointment. Grooming or not, they will get pissed if you expect them to lick random shit that's stuck to your body."

"That goes without saying."

"You'd be surprised."

"Don't tell me you're trying to get our host to relive your life."

"Haha. Nah. Kuroka doesn't look or act anything like her. I just thought that she might be a good fit for the kid once he grows a bit. Girl looks like she needs a few extra people on her side. What with that ass that's her King."

"Hm. Can't argue with that." Something about Ddraig's tone indicated that he wasn't convinced about something.

"What happened to her?" Issei asked. "Cecilia?"

"Five time widower. Can't get to five without hitting three at some point. One of the shit sides of being immortal unfortunately."

"Oh… sorry."

"No worries. That's what happens when a mortal marries an immortal. Mortal dies first most of the time. There's no point in getting angry over something like that."

"Why not marry another immortal?"

"You'd think that would be the logical thing to do, but the thing about multiversal class heavy hitting immortal monstrosities like me is that most of them have their own stories and unreasonable responsibilities to manage. Get too big and these responsibilities tend to clash more often than not, screwing up any hope of a stable long term relationship. Mortals on the other hand normally just tend to go with the flow, which makes conflict of interest less likely in the long run. Despite how I act and look, I'm actually abnormally high up on the totem pole. When I do have a job to finish, things happen, whether other realms and deities want it or not. Being in a position like that makes things… difficult, sometimes."

"How difficult?" Issei was confused.

Ghost let out a bitter laugh. "Five time widower, remember? Not all of them went out from natural causes."

"You, couldn't protect them?"

"… Reality's a mean bitch sometimes. It's why I enjoy stabbing it in the face as a past time. With a rusty spork and broken chopsticks. Fate's a lazy cunt too, with a swollen infected ego bigger than nearly everyone else's. If everyone knew just how that useless waste of divinity actually functioned and did her job, she wouldn't even have a yoctomal of the followers she has now."

"You don't get along then."

"What was your first clue?" Ghost spoke as though he was tasting something terrible. It wasn't often that the immortal genuinely badmouthed anyone in general. He mocked and ridiculed perpetually, but there were few things that he genuinely distained.

Issei frowned, glaring at his right arm. "That's not going to happen with me. I'm going to protect my Harem. If anyone even tries…"

Something stirred.

"Whoa. Easy. Easy. Calm down. I'm just telling you what my fucked up existence is like. You haven't pissed off anyone big yet so you still have hope for the easy life kid." Ghost laughed nervously, noting how the Angels nearby were suddenly on alert. Just the idea of anything hurting the kid's future potential Harem was enough to put the normally happy and calm kid on the edge.

The Immortal had been right. Issei was interesting, and in a way that even he didn't expect. It wasn't the Sacred Gear or Ddraig that had caught his attention, but something else far more unique.

Problem was that it probably would have been for the best if Issei had waited a bit longer to be interesting in this particular way.

It wasn't a matter of questioning Issei's maturity in using his powers and nature. Rather… it was more appropriate to say that his powers and nature were fundamentally not suited for a child. As a result, Issei was naturally a bit, unstable, when agitated.

Of course Issei didn't know this. Neither did Azazel or any of the kid's new "friends". The only ones that were aware of the sensitive details were Ddraig and Ophis.

It was understandable. After all, in this world, there were few beings out there that were capable of realizing their true nature as easily as Dragons could…

Nothing and Infinite.

Dream.

Domination.

Supremacy.

And in Issei's case…

"Is there a problem?" Michael asked, suddenly worried about the ominous feeling he had felt for a moment.

"Nah. No worries. Just the kid overreacting slightly to something stupid I said." Ghost waved off the Archangel's concern.

"I see." It was clear that he didn't, but their guide didn't admit it. "I must admit, when Azazel mentioned you, I had expected something…"

"More impressive? Imposing? Mature?" A dry laugh came from the ebony Sacred Gear.

"Exceptional." Michael chose his words carefully. "I have been exposed to Gods, and conceptual beings before. If you are what everyone claims, then you have me at a loss as to how you do not give the same… impressions, as they do, or greater for that matter."

"Ohoho. Someone's asking for some pretty deep info." Ghost was clearly amused by the Angel's insinuations, much to the confusion of the lesser messengers of God there and Issei. "Hmm. How do I put this so that I answer your question but leave you with five more?"

"Don't?" Issei offered hopefully.

"This is why I refrain from asking him questions." Ddraig stated blandly to Michael.

"Oh spare me. I'm just the only one with the balls to admit that I'm actually doing it out of all you cowards. At least I'm not the kind of idiot that does it perpetually and pats myself on the back each time like I actually did something impressive or worthwhile, even when it was completely unwarranted and unnecessary. Hypocrites." Ghost snorted. "Bottom line? I can turn my mystic mojo on and off whenever I want. I wasn't born a mega super stupid OP ubermench God-ish person thing. I started as a normie. Because of that, there were some tradeoffs when it comes to my powers, control and authority if you compare what I can do to one of my peers. Unfortunately, the kid is already familiar with one of the drawbacks I have."

Issei grimaced, knowing instantly what Ghost was talking about and instinctively gripped his right hand tightly into a fist, as if the memory itself was hurting him. "Did you have to bring that up? I hurts enough just going through it as it is."

"Just making a point. And again, I really am sorry you were dragged along in dealing with my bullshit. I was hoping that this trinket I'm in would be able to keep it all inside."

"Well." Michael coughed. "I am unsure about your condition, Ghost, but there is a chance that you may be able to strengthen the Sacred Gear you are in. We have arrived."

Seventh Heaven.

Home to the Sacred Gear System, God's System, and…

"So this is where the big OG used to crash eh?" Ghost whistled as the group stood right in front of a gate that showed… an endless plane of unnatural white. It couldn't be considered blank or empty, because there was without a doubt something of unmeasurable power and significance there, making the very atmosphere there heavy with a sensation that could not be put into words. "Not bad. A bit bland, but not bad."

"I take it you can make sense of my father's realm?" Michael asked skeptically.

"You should see my place."

"You have a place?"

"… In a manner of speaking." Ghost evaded the question in a cryptic way. "All in all though, it's all right. At least it's clean and easy to manage. How many have access to this crib? I'm guessing… around two twenty? Wait. Two twenty five."

Michael couldn't hold back his surprise. "Two hundred and twenty seven Angels have access to Seventh Heaven. I must admit, I am still skeptical about Azazel's claims about you, Ghost, but regardless you do seem to have some sort of affinity to my father's realm."

"Keep watching. Maybe I'll make a believer out of you by the end of this."

"I can't tell if I should be humored or insulted."

"Insulted. It makes things more consistent that way." Ddraig gave Michael his two cents.

Issei nervously held out his right hand, flexing his fingers slightly, as if trying to get close to a roaring fire. "Are you sure about this? Even I can tell that it's not safe for me to go in there. The spiritual energy index of this place is so high I feel like I'm about to enter Chernobyl."

The Angels were conflicted. On the one hand, Seventh Heaven just got compared to the location of the world's largest nuclear accident. On the other hand, the one doing the comparison was a nine year old.

"Obviously. What did you expect? This is a genuine God's pad. Weak mortals and lower tier beings would get screwed over ten ways to Sunday if they went in without proper care. Those Angels that can come in here aren't allowed to because they have permission. They're allowed to because they can actually handle being here in the first place."

"He's right. It's best to consider the realm in front of you an entirely different dimension with its own rules." Ddraig agreed with Ghost. Even he wouldn't be reckless while in this territory.

"Then how is young Issei to enter and interact with Father's system safely?" Michael asked curiously. "Do you need a guide or assistance?"

"Nah. We're good. I taught the kid a trick that's useful in situations like this. Didn't think he'd have to use it so soon, but show's what I know." The spirit inside Blind Eternity chuckled. "Ok. Nice and easy. You're just keeping yourself together Issei. I'll be handling the bulk of this. No need to rush."

The boy swallowed heavily before nodding. "Ok. But if something goes wrong…"

"I'll bail you out. No worries. My powers trump Yaweh's by eons."

Somewhat consoled, Issei breathed deeply, using the exercises he employed when calming himself down and controlling his unstable fire breath, and focused…

"Oh?" Michael frowned as the child, became more distinct was the best way to put it. It was as if he was sticking out from the rest of the world despite there being no real change in him.

He wasn't generating power. He wasn't transforming. He wasn't doing anything really. Issei Hyoudou was still just a boy with some sacred gears, but for the moment, the child's mere existence seemed to be exemplary compared to everything around him. A good analogy would be as if the entirety of a painting had been done with a certain style and quality of paint, but suddenly a part, Issei in this case, was now comprised of far more vivid and rich colors paint, and in a slightly more detailed style.

And yet, even so, Issei's image still paled in comparison to the overwhelming impression he was getting from the being in his right arm. The thing felt genuinely alien to him, and Michael was not one to use that term lightly. Even from where he was standing, it was as if the gauntlet had full authority over a critical aspect of everything around it, no matter how powerful or weak it was. Almost as if it was a divine entity in itself.

Michael had been skeptical about Azazel's words earlier. But now he was worried that his brother may very well have underestimated the boy's second tenant.

"Just match yourself with me and walk in. Keep focused and follow my cues. You're doing great."

Before Michael could ask what was happening, Issei stepped forward into God's territory.

That lone step was more than most Eight Winged Angels could accomplish. And it didn't stop there.

"This feels weird." Even the boy's voice seemed to stand out more than normal now. "It's like… like…"

"Walking in a cloud of steel wool that's been soaked in disinfectant since the primordial era?"

"Un."

"That's what highly concentrated ambient holy energy feels like to those not in tune with the element. If you weren't using Presence, you'd be "scraped" and "disinfected" to oblivion right now. Oh, and you might want to make sure not to breathe any fire. You'd be surprised just how flammable this shit can be sometimes with right spark."

"Now you tell me."

Michael held his tongue, following the pair as they slowly moved forward. He put aside the blasphemous comments the pair were making and focused on what exactly this Presence power was in the first place.

"Keep at it. I know that this is a bit much, but this is just a trial run. Its good practice, and we're just going to do a quick look at the system this time around. Nothing major. Just keep at it and we'll be out of here in no time. And hopefully without any side effects."

"Wait. Side effects?"

Issei was in there for half an hour.

There were side effects.

And like that, the Angels joined the Fallen and the Devils in observing and investing in Issei.

o. o. o.

Omake: Moments in the lives of Issei and Vali:

Two boys were sprinting across the campus of Yale University.

"Fight me!"

"No!"

A boy with silver hair was chasing a young Japanese boy across the cafeteria.

"Fight me!"

"Leave me alone!"

Vali Lucifer burst into Issei Hyoudou's room just as the latter was finishing an experiment.

"Fight me!"

"Fuck off already!"

The White Dragon Emperor glared at the back of the Crimson Dragon Emperor's head as he walked away.

"… Harems are stupid."

The Crimson Dragon Emperor stopped walking.

Two hours later, Azazel answered a knock on his apartment door.

He found young Vali hog-tied in just his boxers, with a dildo in his mouth, several other sex toys taped to other parts of his frame, and twitching in a way that clearly indicated that the child had undergone some severe nerve damage.

On the young boy's forehead was a sticky note.

I fought him. I also have pictures.

The leader of the Grigori looked pityingly at his "not" adopted son.

"You insulted The Harem, didn't you?"

"Urk. Gurgle. Mprht."

"Did you learn your lesson?"

"Fughnguuu."

"Close enough. Let's just get you inside before anyone-"

"EEEEK!"

"Sees us. One sec Vali. Gotta get rid of the evidence."

"Guh."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thought I was going to finish this faster. Thanks CrayZayJay for betaing.

Slams head on table.

Why?! I was trying to make the chapters smaller for this story!

Ugh. I now remember why my first fic took so long to finish. Writing for large groups of characters and trying to make them all significant at least once during a scene is a pain in the ass and takes FOREVER. Gotta remember to avoid scenarios like this. Does nothing but kill time and space.

So. Training period. As you can see, Issei's an ass. A pragmatic ass, like Goblin Slayer (Watch it when it comes out. WATCH IT.) Every now and then, a bit more of his personality and thought process leaks out behind the swearing and yelling that, in all honesty, I really need to cut back on.

If you haven't figured it out yet, Issei's not a power type in this fic. He's a technique type.

I'm not going into deep detail into how everyone develops for this. Just giving a good overview on what directions they're likely to take.

As for Issei's snafu with Koneko? Personally, I like what I did there. It was messy. Choppy. Rushed. Completely out of place, and unscripted. Which completely fits into this Issei's character and allows for the plot to go in different directions later on. The fact that it didn't go to plan only allows for the reader to see yet another part of his personality in the way he reacts to failure when he's genuinely trying to help someone.

… And the ways he tends to cope with failure.

Does this mean that everything was planned? That Rias' peerage was purposefully designed to have people related to Issei in some way by the Satans in some over complex plot?

No. Don't even try. That's just crappy writing. The only person in Rias' peerage that Issei had a direct or indirect hand in setting up was Koneko. Everyone else was just dumb luck.

I slipped in a few new things about Issei. Replacing his respiratory system with a Dragon's was something I thought of from the start. Didn't want to cop out with the whole "Dragon's heart" thing, and I wanted to be a bit more efficient than just replacing the arm. Probably could have timed and presented it better for a later chapter, but meh. Don't care much about being THAT consistent for this story.

Also hinted about some of his other abilities. I wasn't exactly subtle about them, so that's a thing.

On a side note, this will not be the last time you'll see the sex toys he makes as a side job/hobby come into play. Not by a long shot. (Insert evil perverted laughter.)

So that's enough of that.

Real news.

For those of you that don't know already, I'm focusing most of my attention back on Take Two Round Two, and have already started on the next chapter. So rejoice and expect much madness, chaos, and epic ass kicking to be had soon. I'm going all out on this one. Sorry for the wait guys.

Work's work. Youmacon's coming up. New anime season coming with some damn good stuff around the corner, if not here already. Cousin got married.

Been reading a lot of light novels lately. Gonna be honest, I'm not exactly a fan of the ones made in China. Most of the fantasy ones always do the same thing over and over again. MC has a problem. MC needs to eat a rare animal part or cultivate (meditate) or secret martial art until they get a new power or ability. MC curbstomps villain/dungeon of the week. Rinse repeat. It gets real old real fast. They don't even bother to come up with new systems either. It's always cultivation, martial arts, or some animal part that's the solution to their problems, and none of it explains why their enemies who are "oh so strong" wind up looking useless by the end of it all as if they weren't special to begin with. It's just… boring after a while. PETA would have a cow if they read any of this shit.

Eh. Sorry to rant. Just my two cents there. Nothing about China in general, just the lack of diversity or imagination annoys me.

So… that's about it. Nothing much to say atm. Just writing, reading, hanging with friends and playing games for now.

Oh. And apparently this story is already near the top of the DxD fanfiction lists on the site.

How? Over 1k reviews already? Seriously. How? I'm not putting that much effort into this thing.

REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! THE CRAZY TRUCKER FETISH LADY ALSO WANTED THE LUBRICANT TO SMELL LIKE KEROSENE BUT ISSEI COULDN'T DUE TO HEALTH VIOLATIONS! AND REVIEW AGAIN!