Chapter 13: Context is a cruel cruel mistress with an anal fetish that takes forever to climax.

I don't own Highschool DxD, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new abilities in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Seven Years Ago:

For the first time in a while, Issei was at peace.

His body was resting blissfully, his mind was a clean and pristine blank slate, and his hand…

Slap.

Was knocked away from Jasmine's breasts for the third time in the past five minutes after once more unconsciously reaching for them.

"Mmm. Oppai." The preteen mumbled from her lap, rubbing his face against her thighs as if they were the most comfortable pillows in the world.

"Riser still doesn't understand why you tolerate that brat's antics." A miffed and clearly not jealous Riser Phoenix huffed to the side as Jasmine ignored both idiots to work on her homework.

"Because the brat's useful and I know he doesn't have the balls to reach for anything more than second base. Literally." The human muttered out loud, finishing up another question with one hand while subconsciously slapping another attempt by Issei to molest her with the other.

"Awww."

It had been three months since she had gone through with this absurd relationship with Issei, and had more or less gotten a hang of how things went. She helped reign in Issei at times, i.e. babysit him, and her living expenses would more or less be slashed to a third of their original costs. It was originally going to be her education expenses, but she already had that more or less covered with her scholarships, and her grades were in the top two percentile of her class. Human and not.

All in all, her relationship with Issei really was more akin to a brother and sister at the moment than anything. Though from a certain perspective, she was technically whoring herself out to a perverted kid with an apparent older sister fetish, so take that as you will.

She could have done without the near perpetual sexual harassment that came from being around Riser, Azazel, and Issei, but honestly they were still better than most of the drunk idiots that she serviced at the clubs. At least these idiots took her feelings into consideration most of the time and didn't go further than the occasional dirty joke. Didn't help her case that she could dish out just as much as they could most of the time.

"I don't see why you're so jealous, Bird Person. It's pretty obvious that Yubella's more or less under your thumb already." She continued, starting the next problem listed in the book. "Not that it's much of a thumb to begin with. Poor girl's going to be awfully disappointed when you finally find your balls to go all the way with her. Doubt you even know what a clitoris is."

"Heheheheh." Issei giggled from her lap. Whether it was because he had heard her, or because he was enjoying her thighs more than he should have was anyone's guess.

It was always an interesting sight to see a fire elementally aligned person blush. The shade of red they took was always a richer color than most could physically achieve. "I… how dare you!? You uncultured monkey. You know very well that as a member of the Seventy Two pillars, there are restrictions on what Riser can and can't do. Even as the third child, this one cannot risk spreading the Phoenix legacy unless my partner is committed to us. Either by marriage or by being a part of my Peerage."

"Yeah, because you devils have a birth rate that would enable you to be picky about such things." Jasmine rolled her eyes. "You'd think that accidentally changing up things wouldn't matter given the circumstances, but hey, what do I know? I'm just part of the species that breeds like rabbits in comparison."

Whack. Issei's hand was knocked away again.

"Down boy."

"Murgle."

"Besides." She continued. "Who was the cultured bird who was practically offering an arm and a leg for this "uncultured monkey" to be a part of his harem-"

GRRRRRRR.

The room rumbled as Issei began to growl dangerously and maliciously, completely out of character from his normal behavior.

"I mean peerage?" Jasmine rolled her eyes and stroked Issei's head gently to calm him down. It was something that they had all found out rather quickly, but ever since their agreement, the boy had become immensely protective of Jasmine. To the point of actually being scary at times.

About a month ago, one of the devils at the school had tried to be a bit more aggressive with his attempts to woo her into his peerage. This was despite her well known constant rejections from any and all parties. This guy went the extra mile in the wrong way though, including using magic of questionable origins and the attempted use of a drug or two in his efforts. She had gotten away just fine on her own, but she couldn't do anything about the culprit since she was just a human and the devil had been one of notable wealth and influence.

… But a week later, the student body had been in an uproar when word had spread that said devil had been conducting illicit dealings with some of the local black markets, including the acquisition of contraband, sabotage of other student projects, stealing valuable school property, and the blackmailing and whoring out of one of the younger professors on campus.

Oh. And the student in question was beaten, crippled, and left hanging on the campus flagpole above a pile of evidence that guaranteed he was screwed for the rest of the century.

The odd thing was that most of the victim's injuries were internal, save for his scratched and mutilated face. His nervous system was completely mangled, his intestine were literally tied into knots, and worst of all for him, was that he was given a complete and irreversible vasectomy.

That last bit was an absolute future killer for a younger member of the Devil aristocracy.

When questioned what happened, all he would do was scream about the horrifying "slow motion chicken that kept on tearing off his face" and to make the nightmares stop.

Azazel, knowing better, pulled Issei to the side and merely asked what the boy had done.

The guilty party in question merely looked away to the side and said: "I'm just a ten year old kid. What makes you think I know anything about how to efficiently and effectively conduct permanent psychological and physical torture on someone?"

It didn't help that Ghost was laughing maliciously while he said that.

Translation: "Ghost gave me step by step instructions to fuck this guy over to oblivion and back."

Azazel wanted to press the matter about the chicken bit, but wisely gave up when for some reason, some eldritch abomination from beyond the folds of time and space keep on whispering "Doooooooom" in the background every time he brought it up.

Ghost praised the Fallen Angel for making the smart decision.

Either way, everyone in their small circle knew that Issei was responsible for the fiasco, and learned very quickly that he was someone that had absolutely no limits if pissed off.

Riser rolled his eyes. "Please. Most sensible women would be flattered to be part of Riser's h-peerage." He caught himself at the last moment. As egotistical as he was, even Riser knew better than to speak of any harem other than Issei's while the boy was present. "Riser is a member of the Seventy Two Pillars after all. Wealth. Prestige. Whatever one could desire, Riser would provide…"

"Sans dignity, self-respect, and the ability to speak in anything other than the third person." Jasmine snorted, shooting him down instantly, looking at him with some annoyance. "Look, I might be technically whoring myself out to the kid, but at least he doesn't want me simply because I'd look like good eye candy on his arms and a good fuck in his bed. My Sacred Gear isn't a factor either."

Whack.

She slapped Issei's hand away again.

"Though I will admit that he does has slightly less self-control than you do."

"Ooooppaiiiii."

"Humph." Riser crossed his arms and looked down at her in skepticism. "That can't be all there is. You have been approached by more than a few that could provide you sweet words and the illusion of security. What else can he provide you that others can't?"

Jasmine opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off when Issei turned over and snuggled his face into her thighs, hugging them tightly in a way that would have most females coo just from cuteness overload.

She couldn't help but relax slightly from the display of pure trust he was showing. "Well, other than the fact that he's easier on the eyes than the rest of you overconfident muscleheads that wear more jewelry and makeup than me?"

Riser's eyebrow twitched. "Yes. Other than the fact that you are an apparent cradle robber."

Her smile dropped at the insinuation. Instead of immediately replying, she turned to look at the large meter tall pile of binders and notebooks stacked nearby and nodded to them. "Do you know anyone else that would put this much effort to get was they want? To ensure that they'd do it right?"

The Devil grimaced and shifted uncomfortably, knowing exactly what Jasmine was getting at.

Issei had only just finished his first semester, but he had already covered nearly a whole year's worth of coursework and research, and that wasn't counting the credits he had come into the college with in the first place. If what Azazel had said was right, Issei was already bound to have at least three certifications by the end of the year, one in applied mathematics, one in general physics, and one in thermodynamics. The only reason why he didn't get anything in the medical and magical fields, his majors, yet was because they officially required more specialized classes and time to obtain.

Of course, with the effort needed to achieve such results, it was no surprise that Issei frequently ran himself into the ground and passed out from overwork.

It was not an uncommon sight these days to see Jasmine provide the role of a lap pillow while she did her own studies. Mix Issei's near perpetual exhaustion with Jasmine's Sacred Gear enhanced lullabies, and you'd have the kid out cold within a couple of seconds flat.

It wasn't too distracting for her though. Since so many of her subjects overlapped with his, she'd frequently rope him into what she was doing in case she needed help with anything. Even half asleep, he'd still respond correctly to most questions that required general academic knowledge to answer. Calculations on the other hand made him moan and turn over in protest. He was more of an encyclopedia than a calculator.

The questions were also enough to stop him from groping her too.

Plus, his ever growing medical knowledge was really helping out wither her own personal project that she was playing with in her spare time…

"Even you can't deny he's going to be someone big in the future." She stroked the top of Issei's head, getting the boy to genuinely purr and nuzzle her hand almost immediately. "I'm not in it for the free ride to the top, Riser. I'm in it to jumpstart my way up there with my own methods. Can you claim to be capable of providing similar opportunities, third child of one of the Devil Pillars, or do you intend for your family to do all the heavy lifting like everyone else here?"

"Tch." Of course not. There were only a handful of Devils in his generation that held the potential to be considered "great" by their own means, standing out from the shadows that their families casted. There were even fewer that were capable of providing the same for others. Finances and resources were one thing, but the genuine potential to all but assure progress was another entirely. It was one of the main reasons why he had not abandoned Issei himself despite being the butt of so many jokes over the months. He knew talent when he saw it, and wanted at least a sliver of the profits that would eventually come this way.

"I thought as much." Jasmine turned back to her book and continued to study. "Stop being such a child. So long as you don't screw up, I'm sure that you'll find some way to benefit from Issei's insanity too, just like everyone else. If you spend less time bitching about him and more time trying to figure out how, you'll probably figure out something by the end of the year."

He didn't. It wasn't until near the end of the next school year before Riser found that something.

Or rather, someone else found it for him.

o. o. o.

Rias yawned as she forced herself to walk to the ORC clubhouse after classes had ended on Monday.

Judging from Akeno's equally miserable expression, she was of the same mind as her King.

The weekend they had spent training was absurd, unorthodox, and straining in a way none of them had expected or experienced before, and it drove both Rias' and Sona's peerages absolutely mad.

It wasn't due to Issei's initial training methods for everyone. All things considered, he had actually given everyone sensible tasks and goals for them to work on to improve themselves. They were well thought out, within their limitations, and overall completely reasonable.

It was what Issei did while they were training that had driven everyone up the wall.

No one knew why or how he did it, but the psychotic nutjob had frequently somehow teleported all over campus without anyone noticing and harassed the living shit out of whoever caught his attention while their guards was down.

He had kept his promise and ensured that the trucker dildos were kept out of sight.

What he did not promise, was to not use his cell phone to record the sounds said dildos made and then play said recordings at full blast right behind his victims.

Even Gasper, Kiba, and Saji were not exempt from this treatment, much to their horror.

In Issei's words, there were few things that got people more motivated to do anything than literally ensuring the sanctity of their sphincters.

By the end of the weekend, it had become widely accepted that Issei was secretly a psychotic sadist with a twisted sense of humor that even Akeno had trouble matching. It did not matter that he never smiled. They all knew for a fact that he had enjoyed their suffering immensely.

It had gotten so bad that they had been tempted to break the rules and interfere with Issei's own training to see what the hell he was doing and give him a taste of his own medicine.

They had settled for getting Raynare to sneak into one of the corners of the soccer field since she technically knew who he was already.

Two minutes after she had vanished behind the magic cloaking field that Issei had set up, Raynare had walked back out again, her face ash white and one of her eyes twitching. When asked what happened, she merely snapped back that if they wanted to do something stupid that was liable to get someone killed again, they should do it themselves… and let her know ahead of time so she could enjoy the show.

That being said though, no one could deny that the source of their misery was a hard worker. He had appeared progressively more and more exhausted and gaunt as the weekend went on, covered in more and more sweat and grime to the point that even Sona was worried for his health by the end of Sunday. Whatever his own training was, it did not appear to be easy, nor did he seem to be doing it half assed.

Come to think of it, Rias couldn't remember if she went home before or after Issei did last night.

"I don't know about you Rias, but I'm not particularly looking forward to conducting our usual activities tonight." Akeno yawned into her right hand, before flinching and pulling it away from her mouth quickly.

"I know exactly how you feel Akeno, but we have our responsibilities." Rias sighed, not noticing her Queen's behavior. Considering what everyone had gone through the past few days, she wouldn't be surprised if everyone had temporarily developed their own quirks.

Rumor had it that some of Sona's peerage may or may not have attacked an innocent truck as it passed by them that morning on their way to school.

"Ah. Yes. About that." Akeno looked nervously at her right hand for a moment. "I might need to delay some of my contracts until I get Issei to, address something."

"What did he do this time?" Rias sighed, opening her clubhouse door and walking inside.

"… I may have underestimated what he can and is willing to do in order to make a point." The Queen had the nerve to at least look embarrassed as she looked to the side with a deep blush.

Rias opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it and shook her head. She was finally starting to learn that if something directly involved Issei, it was probably better off not sticking her nose into it unless she expected her entire face shoved in it without warning. "I'm pretty sure that everyone's learned that lesson by now. Whatever it is you did to provoke him, just admit that he's right and he'll be out of your hair. As much as I hate to admit it, and I'm certain that Sona will never admit it, Issei is right about most things."

"But…" Akeno tried to think of something to counter Rias' claim, but faltered with a single tired glance from her King. "… Fine. I'll get around to it when I have the free time." And no witnesses.

"Good. The sooner we have less reasons to confront Issei the sooner and easier we can actually get him to go along with some… of our other… do you hear that?" Rias trailed off as she heard something odd coming from her office. It sounded like some woman moaning, but in a familiar way that she just couldn't put her finger on…

Not wanting to waste time, she barged into her main office to confront to the intruder, only to come across the sight of Issei sitting in one of her guest chairs staring at a laptop set on the coffee table in front of him, surrounded by several binders full of paperwork, and a cup of coffee to the side.

Oh, and the laptop in question was playing a porno at full blast.

"Less reasons to confront Issei?" Akeno gave her King a dry look, knowing full well that she was going to catch shit for it later.

To her credit, it only took Rias ten seconds for her brain to reboot and tried to take hold of the situation. "Issei? What are you doing in my office?"

The human waved her off with one hand while totally absorbed by what appeared to be a devil woman being spitroasted rather violently, which meant pretty much nothing when one remembered how durable devils were in general. "Shhh. Go away. Watching porn. I'm backlogged because of all the crap I've been doing for you guys and have to catch up."

She didn't even try to understand the full context of his explanation. "Ok, but why in my office?"

Issei shivered violently for a few seconds. "It's no longer save in my home. My sanctuary is compromised."

"… Can you explain in words I can understand?"

"Oi. Princess." From another couch, Raynare was lounging as if she owned the place. The only reason why she wasn't noticed earlier was because Issei was being Issei. "You're going to be there forever if you try to get a straight answer from him, so let me save you the headache."

o. o. o.

That morning:

Issei was in full crash mode.

He had barely managed to get back home before his body finally gave out from the exhaustion of his own version of working out for two days straight.

It was a miracle he didn't pass out in the shower and ran up the water bill. Again.

Laid out on the cheap, broken in couch in his room in nothing but a set of pajama pants, Issei was completely unconscious and exposed.

Under normal circumstances though, even being in this state would not prevent him from immediately waking up and tearing apart anyone that intruded into his home or room without his permission. Rather, it could be said that his paranoia was so extreme that it vastly superseded his need and desire to rest.

Under normal circumstances.

"Do it."

"A-are you sure that this is a good idea? Asami-san?"

"Do it. Trust me. I… I mean, Issei needs this." Asami argued in a totally convincing way that betrayed no ulterior motive in the slightest. "He's going to be late for school if you don't wake him up. And this is good practice for your Japanese."

She probably would have been more genuine looking if her eyes weren't sparkling with anticipation and mischievous glee.

Asia shifted uncomfortably, looking into Issei's room and seeing the pornographic paraphernalia strewn across the walls.

"I totally agree with Asami-san." Raynare nodded alongside her host, her expression completely serious. "Issei needs to get up soon, and as the newcomer, it's officially your job to do it."

"Oooh. Nice touch. I should have thought of that." Asami briefly swapped to Japanese to compliment her first guest, getting a brief pat on the shoulder in thanks. Not one to break her momentum though, she turned back to the still very nervous Asia. "Don't worry. Issei won't do anything to you. You're the type of person that's in the least amount of danger with him around. Issei's a complete softie."

"Says you." Raynare was still planning her revenge for the trucker dildo stint.

"O-ok. If you say so." Mustering up what little courage she had, Asia slowly and nervously walked into Issei's room, a feat that would have been immediately detected by its owner with the first step but was met with silence.

"I knew it." Asami hissed to Raynare excitedly. "I knew it I knew it that girl's just like Jasmine! We hit the jackpot!"

"Who?"

"She's the only person until now that doesn't set Issei's nerves off in any negative way. He's complete putty in her hands. It doesn't matter if it was to hug or smack him upside the head, he'd let her do it without any resistance at all. And now we have another one." Asami gleefully grinned. "You've probably heard of her already. Issei calls her Nee-san."

"Nee-san?" The Fallen frowned for a moment before recalling that Issei did occasionally bring up this anonymous person in conversation every now and then. Mostly to claim just how much her own capacity as a woman of the seductive arts paled in comparison to said older sister figure. "You mean that supposed sex idol he worships? I thought she was just some wet dream of his. If she's so important to him, where is she now?"

Asami's gleeful expression gave way to one of instant regret, as if realizing that she touched a subject she shouldn't have. "Ah. Jasmine? She's around still. It's just that after what happened, she and Issei…"

"O-ohaiyou, g-gozaimasu, Issei-s-san."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Asami's explanation was cut off by a high pitched scream of terror.

It wasn't Asia's.

o. o. o.

"I kid you not, he literally jumped out the second story window head first and would not take a step inside the house after that."

Issei shivered, his eyes wide with haunted fear. "None are safe from the Ninja Puppy. No domain sacrosanct. No defenses impenetrable. She will find a way in without fail and rub your inadequacy in by feinting moe ignorance. The fiend."

"You should have seen it." Raynare ignored Issei's traumatized state. "Asami-san was stuck between laughing her ass off and squealing like a girl that just discovered that her adorable puppy was doing something that made it more adorable. I just settled for laughing my ass off."

Asia, on the other hand, was just blatantly confused and scared as to why Issei had screamed like a girl the moment he had woken up and dove out the window. Like a normal person would.

"I'm more disappointed that I didn't get a chance to see it for myself." Akeno gave Issei a satisfied smirk. After the hell he put her through, a little petty revenge in any form was satisfactory.

"Issei, I understand that you are uncomfortable with the current state of your home, but that does not give you and excuse to use my property as your new base of operations." Rias tried to be diplomatic, but it was hard to be taken serious with hardcore porn being played in the background and drowning out half of what she was saying.

She may be a devil coming from a family of nudists, but even she was completely out of her comfort zone when it came to actual intercourse, let alone the extreme stuff that Issei was watching as if it was a Saturday morning cartoon rerun.

"Why did you even come here in particular to begin with?" She shook her head.

"Second least likely place I'd run to." Issei droned absently. "Only an idiot ever hides in the most unlikely place."

"And for you, that would be?"

"Enabler's office." Rias was stuck between chiding herself for not making that assumption sooner, and debating whether to hold this over Sona's head as potential blackmail material.

"Come to think of it, how did you get in here before us?" Akeno brought up a good point. "You practically had to strong arm me to open the doors for you on Saturday out of paranoia that Sirzechs-sama might have modified the building's security."

"Tweaked said security system to key my signature into it during the weekend while everyone was training. And he did." Issei blandly replied while writing down notes on the form he had in his hands.

"You hacked the security system to my clubhouse." Rias spoke slowly, already lamenting how the day was turning out. "A security system that was apparently reinforced by my brother without my knowledge?"

"Devil magic runs on the same principles no matter what form it takes. It's all intent based. Once you know how to work around those principles, getting into the system of over ninety percent of all Devil complexes is pretty straightforward." Issei shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

Truth be told, doing the dirty deed in question from the inside of the complex made things a hell of a lot easier for him, but his statement still stood.

"Intent, oh, that's right. Akeno told me you're a battle medic." Rias pinched the bridge of her nose and gathered her thoughts together. Issei had already proven that he could hijack the offensive magic of others, and bypass the natural defensive magic of his targets. Who was to say that he couldn't penetrate a building's defenses as well with the same twisted logic?

Apparently, Issei was still sour about the current title of his specialty if his slumped shoulders and incoherent grumbling was any indication.

"Seriously? He's a battle medic?" Raynare looked at Issei with a questionable gaze before thinking better of it. "You know what? Why not? It's not like making him even more bullshit than he already is changes much."

"Ladies and non-ladies. You've seen it yourself. The Cougar can in fact learn."

"Fuck off."

"Speaking of which." Akeno looked curiously at the pile of papers and documents that were stacked to either side of Issei. Despite the nature of the videos, the forms themselves appeared to be quite orderly and official. "Why do you have all these about for watching these videos? I thought that your obsession with sex was merely…"

"A coping mechanism? A shallow distraction? A perpetually immature attempt to utilize escapism to avoid the world in its entirety?" Judging from his automatic and dry response, this wasn't the first time that he had given this answer. "Yes they are, but I can be productive watching porn too."

He gestured to the documents to the right. "Those are the debut videos, or virgin videos, of women trying to start their careers in the industry. Most of them are utter trash, and the best they'll manage is get a high view count on pornhub for some cheap add revenue."

He gestured to the vastly smaller pile of papers on his left next. "Those are for sponsored and financed full featured pornos, starring notable actors and actresses in the industry. These are the legitimate movies that eventually get statues and accolades from those porn awards that are held in Vegas and in the underworld that everyone hears about but few bother to watch."

"Are they any good?" Akeno, as opposed to Rias, was more familiar with porn.

"Nope. Both piles are standard trash faire with dumpster fire performers. Only real difference between them are the budget, camera quality, and length." He shot down her assumption instantly. "All things considered, you three top ninety eight percent of these idiots on looks alone."

"I thought there was more to the full movies after how much you praised porn." Rias probed, noticing that he didn't notice that she and the other girls were slightly caught off guard by the off handed compliment.

Issei yawned. "There is, but we're in a slow season and I'm stuck reviewing the niche, avante garde crap that wouldn't be touched if anything better was out. Most of the good stuff isn't released until mid to late summer. Everything else is more or less the equivalent of tryouts to get noticed by anyone with money."

"So basically prostitutes trying to land the biggest fish then." Raynare summarized.

"More or less. Not that anyone's complaining. People fuck. People profit."

"Sounds like you know what you're doing then." Akeno hummed. "Do you have any preferences? Girls. Boys? Threesomes? Bondage? Interspecies?"

Issei didn't even react to her teasing. "I'll watch anything so long as it isn't horrifyingly disgusting to lay my eyes on. I don't do homosexual male films because I'm not into dudes. Not into guro or scat or anything disgusting like that, because I actually do have standards. Not fond of most cosplay porn either, but that's because most costumes are too over the top and it just looks stupid when they finally get to having sex, but there are exceptions if it's done right."

"Still didn't hear anything about bondage." Raynare teased. "Does the cranky brat have a secret kink?"

"No. The cranky brat is just tired of seeing the genre butchered hundreds of times. The odds of finding a good bondage video are as high as the odds of finding someone on the street that actually knows what BDSM stands for. Philistines."

"Butchered?" Now Issei had her undivided attention.

"Most idiots drop the half assed themes of their videos the moment clothes start coming off and dicks are whipped out. Half of these "Kinky" videos where everyone is dressed head to toe in latex, pvc, or leather are just idiots having sex with weird clothes on. Total buzz kills. It's especially disappointing when the main cast are mostly Fallen." He sighed dejectedly.

"Fallen?" Rias didn't make the connection he was getting at, but Akeno and Rayanre did.

It was no secret that Fallen Angels had a tendency to gravitate towards the darker pleasures due to their sinful nature. Bondage and the like were no exception, especially if one considered how many of their warriors were often donned in bondage-esque garb on the battlefield.

"You'd think that since S&M is such a huge part of modern Fallen culture that the average grunt would at least be able to make a decent short, but noooo. Lazy idiots just assume that they'd get a free shot in the industry by gimping themselves up in full body suits and letting themselves get gangbanged into oblivion. That's just bondage with sex people. Not a legit, well planned and established S&M performance. Morons don't realize that they're giving their partners a better shot at getting a job at that point by showing how long they can last and how many loads they can shoot."

Akeno was hoping that he'd stop talking soon. She needed to grab a pen and paper to write down what she was learning for future reference… not that she was interested in going into the market, but… yeah.

"Yeesh. That bad huh?" Raynare winced. She knew more than a few of her kind tried to make it big in porn, but she didn't know just how badly they could fuck up getting literally fucked.

"I'm more likely to find new costume designers and cameramen with these stupid things than actual performers." They could literally feel his frustration.

"And you watch all of these?" Rias had to admit it, she was impressed that he was dedicated enough to watch all of these videos.

"Weeb, I review these things, and get paid doing it." Issei took out his wallet and showed her what looked like a crimson membership card with a gold star and some writing on it. "There's not a list of elite porn critics out there that I'm not a part of. You name a quality production in the past five years, I've been one of the first to give it an official score. My word is borderline cum soaked gold in the industry."

Akeno was more interested in something else though. "… Chibi-sensei?"

"Hey, it may be a shady industry, but even they have an age limit to maintain outer appearances." He shrugged and put his card away. "Doesn't matter how good you are at the job, no one's going to take what you say seriously if it's coming from the mouth of a twelve year old. On the other hand, my official anonymity in the system only makes my reputation vastly more interesting than other reviewers by leagues, which makes my work and approval extremely high in demand."

"How high are we talking here?" Raynare asked curiously, walking towards one of the stacks of documents and picking it up to get a better look at the contents.

"Finishing the pile on the left will land me enough cash to cover all of my home's general expenses for a year, including taxes, groceries, and miscellaneous expenditures."

"Bullshit."

"The pile on the right is enough to cover almost half of the annual expenses for my personal hobbies, including any equipment or resources I need to invest in." He continued, completely ignoring her.

"Ara. That does seem like quite a bit of money." Akeno tilted her head to the side, contemplating just how much his side businesses make. "I'm curious, how much do you make a year Issei?"

"It varies depending on the market." The purveyor of porn yawned. "I do stocks and investments on the side too, but I haven't done anything deep on that end for a while. Plus some property management projects that I did with Zaz early on that just snowballed. Those are my major cash cows these days. Anything Porn related is just icing on the cake really. Everything together, general annual profits after all expenses are paid off are generally somewhere around, I wanna say a couple hundred million yen-ish? Give or take."

The sounds of several non-humans choking were heard clearly in the room. A couple hundred million yen, or a couple million dollars a year. Rias was the heiress to one of the Seventy Two pillars of Devil Society, and even with the backing of her family, she wouldn't be able to reach such numbers without some serious luck and help on her side.

"Why are you guys acting so surprised?" Issei glanced at them confused. "It's just money. Weeb's family owns and markets an entire small country in the underworld. I have jack in comparison."

True, but the Gremory family's wealth was built off of generations of war, reputation, and dynastic rule with roots that spanned back several millennia. There weren't many devils this side of the AD BC crossover that had actually made a fortune on their lonesome. That didn't mean that they were bad at managing their money, just that they weren't necessarily effective entrepreneurs.

Once again his behavior threw them all for a loop. Most people would thrive on flaunting their wealth and power in front of others, but Issei disregarded it as something next to meaningless.

"Son of a bitch, he really is loaded." Raynare moaned into her hands. "I always thought he was stashing more money than he let on with all the random crap he has, but this is ridiculous."

"For once I am in complete agreement." Akeno nodded, dumbfounded.

"Issei, against my better judgement, why did you put so much effort into earning so much wealth in the first place?" Rias asked. "Even for those gifted at a young age, there are few that would put so much to accumulate so much so quickly, and you're not exactly the type of person to go to such extremes for anything unless you intended to use it for something important."

Surprisingly, or not, her question caused Issei to pause, restraining his movements for a good three seconds, before his body slackened and seemed to be void of energy. It was a telltale sign that the topic was one that he did not care to think back on.

"… It was for something stupid. Something beyond my ability to ever have and keep in one piece. A pointless goal." His reply was empty, devoid of any emotion or energy. It was the answer of someone that had completely given up on something important.

Rias grimaced, knowing she had made a mistake. Issei was withdrawing into himself again. Once he completely shunt himself away from others, it would take at least a few hours before he was willing to open up again.

Thankfully, Raynare knew just what to do.

"So you're telling us that you got paid to watch bullshit like two girls one cup?"

"HURK?!" For once, Issei was about to blow chunks for reasons that were not related to his trauma. Not his main one anyways.

"Two girls one cup?" Rias blinked in confusion. "Is that some porn video?"

"NO!" Issei stood up with fury. "That abomination is not Porn! That is the furthest thing from Porn you can get! It is a cruel joke that only the most sick, deranged, and troubled minds would be able to watch without disgust! I firmly believe that showing that vile thing to anyone is in direct violation to the Geneva Convention!"

Raynare snorted at his reaction. "Stretching the truth a bit, but I won't exactly argue against it either."

"Ara. It must be pretty bad to get that sort of reaction from him." Akeno smiled.

"Don't blame me if you actually do watch it later and get nightmares. Or do. I'm pretty sure I'd get an award in some circles if word spread that I traumatized the relative of a Satan." Raynare wasn't joking about that either. True, it was a shallow and meaningless victory all things considered, but then again, there were loads of shallow and meaningless people out there.

Issei turned to Akeno with a dead serious expression. "I'm cruel enough that I will chase any of you around for hours with twisted sex toys of unspeakable functions. I am cruel enough to throw your shortcomings and potential traumas in your faces. But even I am not cruel enough to show you that thing."

"Ahaha. Duly noted." Rias laughed nervously, lifting her hands up in surrender. She decided to take Issei's word for it. If whatever it was made him react that poorly, then it really must be that bad. Regardless, it was best if she calmed him down again so he'd leave her room. Looking around, she found a solid distraction. "Issei, you paused your movie."

"Hm?" He turned to see that he had indeed paused the porno he was watching when he had that minor episode. The screen was showing a closeup of the actress with a large amount of cum on her face. "Ah damn it. Missed the money… shot…"

Raynare shook her head as Issei leaned forward and inspected the screen carefully. "See something you like brat? Don't tell me you're going to bust a nut here."

"… That stupid bitch."

"Come again?"

Instead of replying, Issei let out an angry groan and started to go through his binders for a specific one and opened it to get a document inside. "This is the third one this week. When are these morons going to realize that they are fucking themselves harder than the gangbangs they are putting themselves in?"

Now all three girls were completely lost. Rias looked over his shoulder at the stillframe to try and see what had gotten him so angry. "What's the matter?"

"Idiot's a druggie. Shot herself up just before the video to "enhance her performance". Dumbass." Issei finally found the form he was looking for and began to write on it quickly.

"Drugs?" Akeno was now looking at the screen as well. "How do you know? It's just a closeup of her face. Why would she inject herself there?"

"The sclera of her eyes are tinged green. The tears she let out from overworking herself are also tinged green, meaning that her lacrimal system, the part of the body responsible for tears, is also contaminated." Issei pointed out factually, looking absently between several documents to make sure he had the information right. "Remember that drug that stray took last week? Same stuff, smaller dose. From the symptoms I'd say she's been using it frequently for at least a few weeks."

"Wait. What?" This time even Rayanre couldn't hold back her surprise. "Why the hell would anyone take that shit to record a porno?"

"In controlled doses it increases one's sex drive, sensitivity, performance, stamina, energy, and," He paused as if debating to tell them the last part, "… supposedly a few other properties that some would consider enticing for other reasons."

Obviously there was more to the story than he was letting on, but none of the girls called him out on it. At least, not now.

"So, it's a sex drug that in large doses turns us into mutant freaks with body parts growing everywhere." Raynare summarized.

"And incredibly addictive, and can easily cause irreparable damage to the brain and internal organs if taken too frequently or overdosed, yes." Issei nodded, writing down everything as fast as possible. "Fucking hell. I don't know what's going on, but whoever's behind this is handing the shit out like candy all of a sudden. The stuff was just rumors for years, but suddenly it's everywhere and literally in my face."

Not only that, but…

"Partner." Ddraig whispered from inside his arm, making sure only Isseai heard him. "There were only a handful of people that knew how to make this concoction in the first place. All the documents for it were supposed to be destroyed or locked away. Azazel never did give you a straight answer when you asked him about the matter either. It's unlikely, but you don't think…"

"Don't even go there." Issei gave his left hand a dark glare.

"You can't deny the timing though." The dragon persisted. "You were the one that made the connection. The drug only started getting noticed when Gremory took the territory recently. And the availability has accelerated in the past couple of weeks, just when you start to go outside regularly. This isn't a coincidence. They're calling you out specifically. Mocking you."

"I said shut up."

"Issei? Did you say something?" Rias looked at him worried, and making him realize that he had actually been physically speaking to Ddraig.

Damn it. Yet another bad habit he had had to break again.

"You all right dumbass?" Raynare looked at him curiously. "You looked like you were about to have a real nasty freakout again."

He had the decency to flinch at the accurate accusation, and his hands tightened into fists momentarily before he forced himself to relax again.

Much to Issei's surprise, Rias and Akeno were also giving him tentative expressions. They looked curious, slightly worried, and… even a little bit scared from the violent gleam he had in his eyes.

That last part was what viciously murdered any intent or energy he had in his body.

That look.

He was so tired of that look.

Just calm down Issei. Don't get riled up again. Nothing good ever happens when you get worked up. Ever.

"I don't like these sorts of drugs." He lamely sighed, letting his body sag lifelessly as he sat back down into the couch and actively avoided eye contact with everyone. "Too many idiots rely on them for just a quick fix that causes more problems later on. I run away from my problems too, but even I won't risk damaging my mind for it. It's one of the last things I have."

"Considering how much porn you watch, that's up for debate." Raynare deadpanned.

Issei held back a biting retort. It was always better to give context in these situations. Talking also helped distract him from what Ddraig was getting on about earlier. "… Zaz, the Grigori, own a good number of porn companies as side businesses, revenue generation, information dealing hubs, and propaganda outlets. They run a lot of their prospective employees past me to see that they're clean physically. Even if I don't inspect anyone directly, I have a sharp eye for catching warning signs. Druggies and health hazards and the like. You'd be surprised just how many women that want to get into the industry ignore or miss odd growths and lumps on their bodies, discolorations on their skin, the usual. Makeup covers them up most of the time, but funny thing about sex is that it's messy. Concealers and creams wipe away pretty quickly in the middle of gangbangs, getting out of skintight clothes, and rough sex. It's actually how Zaz found me in the first place. Saw one of his girls show signs of a potential brain tumor in a video when I was a kid and tried to get the word out. A few weeks later, Flat Head Sensei was on my doorstep."

Flat Head Sensei?

Akeno had a suspicion she knew who he was talking about, but kept quiet about it. The less she had to do with that man, the better.

"Guess that's where "Chibi-sensei" came from." Rias smiled weakly as she looked over all the papers he had stacked up. It gave her a sense of déjà vu with her own paperwork that she frequently had to deal with. "You go through all of this by yourself?"

"Eventually. Most of its just medical and legal jargon. Write your name here. Check down the boxes there. Side notes on these lines. Makes sure to include timestamps in these sections. It's almost like making a halfway decent youtube video after a while. Only you don't have to deal with those skewed filters that everyone knows doesn't work."

Rias shook her head and gave him a look of pity. It was clear now that Issei didn't just use Porn as his coping mechanism, but his outlet to try and be productive and helpful in some way to others as well. The hypocrite hated and was terrified of the very idea of being with people, but simultaneously can't seem to handle the idea of not trying to help others in some way for an extended period of time.

She was frustrated with just how he could be endearing and infuriating at the same time.

"Well, that at least explains why you look like shit all the time if you're perpetually buried in that crap." Raynare missed the point entirely. "My eyes would be bloodshot too if I had to sit around and fill out those things while watching this all day every day."

It was then that Rias and Akeno realized that, for lack of a better term, Issei looked like shit. The only reason why they missed it earlier was because he was too absorbed into his videos or ranting to give them a good look until then.

His eyes were extremely sunken, bloodshot, and had deep bags under them. His skin was simultaneously flush and tanned, as if he had been dehydrated and left out in the sun. On top of that, on closer look, there was a slight sway to his head, as if he was perpetually on the verge of passing out.

All in all, he looked vastly worse than the last time she saw him during their training that weekend.

"Issei, are you all right?" Rias moved to get a better look at the clearly exhausted teen.

"That's a loaded question, and you know it." He didn't bother to look up from his paperwork. It took a moment to realize that the words he was looking at were blurring again and he was getting dizzy.

Damn it. Getting worked up from Ddraig's accusations earlier had drained the little focus and energy he had left in his body. And the couch was really, comfortable. And now it was getting harder to… stay awake…

"Ara. As much as I agree with that statement, Rias is right to be curious." Akeno tilted her head to the side. "You do look quite under the weather. I'm somewhat surprised you even made it through school today in that shape."

"Depending on who you asked, he didn't." Raynare recalled the past few hours…

o. o. o.

First Period:

"Zzzzzzzz."

Second Period:

"Zzzzzzzz."

Third Period:

"I suppose I'll have to give Hyoudou an extension on his homework…"

Thump.

Issei's arm flopped on his desk. In his hand was the homework he had missed that week and the report due that day.

"Zzzzzzz."

o. o. o.

"At this rate, I think most of the teachers are just going to leave him alone for the rest of the year so long as he does his homework on time. It's quieter while he's asleep, and his mere presence is enough to keep the pervert duo silent in fear of waking him up." Or anyone else for that matter.

"Zzzzzzzzzzz."

"See what I mean?" Raynare was the only person in the room that wasn't surprised by the fact that Issei had seemingly passed out over the past few seconds with documents in hand.

Rias shook her head. On the one hand, Issei was asleep, which meant that he was relatively quiet and docile now. On the other, he was asleep in her office, and she still had work to do.

"He must be quite tired. Normally he needs some of that tea of yours or a bit more time to fall asleep so quickly." The redhead observed before pausing as a thought came across her mind. "Then again, we all worked pretty hard this weekend. I remember falling asleep pretty late Saturday and Sunday…"

"Only because we realized that it was best if we moved back to our apartments to do so." Akeno pouted. "If we tried to rest in the school or the clubhouse, Issei would assault us with that phone again…"

"I heard he actually used a flashbang grenade against a couple of Sitri's peerage when they zoned out for a bit." Raynare snickered. She wasn't sure if that was true or not, but she sure as hell heard something explode Sunday morning in the school.

It spoke volumes that barely anyone bothered to be surprised that Issei actually had military grade flashbang grenades on him in the first place.

"Yes well, that leads me to my next question. Did anyone actually see Issei sleep this weekend?" Rias asked tentatively.

The room was awkwardly quiet as everyone pondered the answer to that question. True, Issei was a narcoleptic that could seemingly sleep anywhere if he wanted, but at the same time, he also seemed to pass as the sort of obsessive person that could and would go far and beyond the norm to get something done if he felt the need to.

"No, but given the circumstances, couldn't he just have slept in the field?" Akeno reasoned. "We wouldn't have been able to see it with the illusion up, and he did more or less tell us not to bother him."

"As much as I'd like to believe he is genuinely that stupid, I'm going to nix that possibility." Raynare shook her head. "That one time you guys sent me in to see what he was doing… it hurts me to say anything positive about the asshole, but he was training harder than most of you lot combined, and it didn't look like he was in the mindset to stop or take breaks."

She held back a shiver. She had known about the Boosted Gear and heard about how monstrous and destructive the previous users were, but she never expected Issei to use it in a completely different way like that.

She wasn't an expert by any means, but she could make a rough guess from prior experiences. Unless someone knew exactly how he fought and prepared exclusively for it ahead of time, she really couldn't think of many ways for anyone that wasn't at least ultimate class to deal with him.

Especially if it was a one on one fight.

Maybe a group of all high class beings would have a chance, but even then they'd have to have the right moves available and experience, or they'd be wiped out easily.

She had always assumed that when Issei had his episode he had simply been overwhelming the Maou and the other leaders with the strength of the Crimson Dragon, but now she knew that her guess was completely off.

On a side note, she was still trying to get the image of his sweaty abs out of her head. It made masturbating really hard to do when he was the person she was accidentally fantasizing about.

Rias felt a headache coming. "Asami did say that he was prone to overworking himself at times. Though, it makes sense if she purposefully undersold it. All things considered, I think it would be wise to assume she understated more or less all of Issei's habits and traits."

Akeno shook her head. "I don't know whether to be flattered or frustrated by this. On the one hand, he's just given us more work to do. On the other, it does give one odd feelings to know he put in so much effort these past few days because of us in the first place."

"Who put in so much effort?" Without knocking, Kiba, Gasper, and Koneko walked into the room, only to pause as they saw Raynare and Issei.

"Crap. He's here today too." Kokeno didn't hold her thoughts back and slowly started edging away from the source of everyone's misery and positioning herself behind Gasper.

"You have the right idea, but there's no point in trying to be quiet. When the idiot's out, he's out." Raynare shook her head before throwing a paper ball at Issei's skull and bouncing off of him to no effect.

"Don't tell me you suggesting that we leave him here." Kiba looked at her with a grimace.

"Do you want to try waking him up?" Raynare asked skeptically. "He's been in and out of consciousness all day. He'll be more insufferable than ever if you force him awake now."

"I could move the couch with him on it to another room." Koneko suggested, getting everyone to pause momentarily at the idea.

"Well?" Akeno turned to Raynare.

"What? What am I, the idiot's keeper?"

"Yes." Every devil in the room answered at once.

She would remember this. She would remember this for a very long time. "… Fine. Yes. That will work. So long as you aren't trying to actually do harm to or directly touch him, moving him indirectly like that won't make him freak out. He'll stay dead to the world for the next few hours. Happy?"

"Much." Koneko didn't hesitate to use her Rook enhanced strength to lift the couch Issei was sleeping on, slightly tilting it back so he'd lay down on it and not accidentally fall off.

"Whoa. He's really still asleep." Gasper blinked in astonishment as Issei naturally leaned to the side and laid down on his improvised bed.

"Zzzzz. Don't touch my stufffzzzzzzz."

Koneko looked at the doorway warily. "I'm going to need some help moving him without bumping into anything."

"I'll help." Kiba immediately began to clear the way for his comrade. "The sooner Issei's out of our hair, the sooner we can get to work."

"Put him in one of the third guest room." Rias called out behind them. "It's the furthest one that's actually maintained."

"And the reason why we don't put him in one of the further ones is?" Akeno asked.

"Do you want to give him another reason to complain to us as soon as he wakes up?" If Issei was allergic to dust, they were never going to hear the end of it.

"Fair enough."

"I'm more impressed that your grunts didn't notice the porn." Raynare nodded her head to the computer screen, where the offending piece was on screen.

"Something tells me their attention was drawn to the dragon in the room more than the dung it left behind." Akeno summarized the situation aptly before something caught her eye. "Ara?"

"Thankfully, we aren't expecting any guests today, so we can move the couch back after Issei leaves." Rias shook her head, looking over all the paperwork that the accused had left behind. Curiously, she picked up a binder and opened it to read the contents.

Inside was the profile of one of the women Issei had no doubt watched having sex earlier. Age. Race. Preferences. Personal History. Family History. References. Even her criminal records were included in the bio. And of course, sample pictures of the woman in her full glory.

"This is quite detailed considering it's for the porn industry." She flipped a few pages and scanned the contents. This part was most likely what Issei had filled out if the pen work was any indication. Neat checkmarks and notes were made in all the according spots, with sharp penmanship that did not match the owner's abrasive and immature personality in the slightest.

She looked back at the pile of binders sitting on the table in front of her. In terms of sheer quantity, it dwarfed what even she normally did in the span of a few weeks. "He really fills out all of these things himself?"

"Looks like it." Raynare looked over Rias' shoulder curiously to see the contents, was mildly impressed by what she saw, and then lost interest. "Shame. He'd probably be decent at secretary work if he didn't suck at people so much."

Rias didn't bother gracing the fallen with a reply.

"And if he wasn't liable of making errors while exhausting himself." Akeno added, reading a paper that she had picked up off the floor.

"Meaning?" Raynare probed.

"Isn't that the form he was filling out before he fell asleep? The one for that woman taking drugs?" Rias identified the paper quickly.

"Mmm. Most of it has medical terms that I'm not familiar with, but it looks like Issei's more prone to letting his mind wander when exhausted then he lets on." Akeno turned the paper around and showed it to the other girls. "Look at the notes section."

"The notes?" Rias and Raynare leaned forward and read what Akeno was referring to.

"…"

"…"

"… Well that's not ominous or foreboding."

o. o. o.

"Uaaaaaaaaaa."

"There there." Asami gently patted a teary Italian nun on the back, consoling the poor nun as she threatened to break out crying again. The girl had been depressed all day since Issei screamed in terror from her attempt to wake him up and literally jumped out the window.

The mother would have felt more guilty for being responsible for the mess in the first place, but seeing Issei scream and jump out the window like that, AND having this adorable girl hang on her every word for support scratched several deep and dark itches that she would never admit.

In the back of her mind, Asami was starting to realize that she might be developing a tiiiiiiiiny little unhealthy personality trait, but it was quickly smothered with a pillow that was made from the image of Asia looking up at her with adorable, delectable watery eyes.

Such a soft and wet pillow it was.

"He was afraid of me." Asia whimpered, feeling completely helpless.

"I know. I'm pretty sure the entire block heard it." Asami assured the girl, only to realize that might not have been the best thing to say if the increased waterworks was any indication. "B-but don't let that get to you. Issei's not angry at you. He's, well, he's afraid of everyone right now. You already know that. Having you wake him up was a good idea, just… maybe we rushed things a bit. He's not used to you yet. The fact that you can touch him without getting a reaction alone is enough to make him confused. He hasn't been used to being around people for a long time. It's not your fault."

"I know, it's… it just reminds me of bad things." Asia's head dropped and she avoided eye contact, as if to dwell on memories that she had forgotten on purpose.

Well, that was a left turn she wasn't expecting. "Bad things? What do you mean?"

The Nun shifted uncomfortably. "I, I used to work in the Church's hospital. I was gifted in healing people. I try to ignore it, but, I know that not everything, not everyone in the Church is nice and peaceful. People fight and get hurt in God's name a lot more than most think. I was one of the ones they called in for the worst cases and important people."

Asia looked at her shaking hands, and on the rings that she wore. For a moment, she could still see the blood on them.

"You poor child. You can't save everyone, Asia." Asami gently rubbed the girl's shoulders, coming to the most likely conclusion.

"I know I can't save everyone. I, learned that when I was eight." She once again threw Asami off her game with a sniff. "But, I don't know why people are so afraid of me."

"Afraid?" Issei might have been an outlier with his twisted logic, but there was no reason why most people in their right minds would be afraid of this harmless little angel.

"It's happened so many times." Asia wasn't even talking to Asami now, lost in her memories, her body shaking more and more. "So many, coming in hurt. And, they'd beg me not to help. They said they wanted to die. They'd start talking about what they did. Why they deserved it. Why they didn't want to do it anymore. Some, they were being hurt on purpose, and they'd be hurt more once I was done helping them…"

Any satisfaction Asami was getting from taking care of Asia was gone now as she was struck silent, only capable of listening as the girl speaking.

"I don't, I don't want to hurt anyone. But the Priests and Bishops said it was God's wish for me to be a holy maiden. For me to help sinners and saints. That I shouldn't worry about who it was I mended, or what they desired, as it wasn't my place. But… they begged so many times for me to stop. To go away. That I was only making things worse. And then. And then I came across that hurt devil, and I helped him too like I was taught, and, and…"

The mother swooped in and embraced Asia in a tight hug, giving the small girl the final push she needed to finally unload her emotions and start crying her heart out.

She didn't say anything after the first outburst, and instead held the child even tighter, getting a louder response and a pair of arms that held onto her for dear life a second later.

Asami wasn't surprised by the response. She had plenty of practice with Issei during his few rare open moments over the years. She knew what these poor kids wanted and needed.

Asia bawled like a newborn for almost half an hour before she finally began to calm down and sag in the woman's arms. The entire time, Asami didn't say a word, merely providing her with physical contact and a sense of security.

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." She gently shook the girl, who was no doubt exhausted physically and emotionally from her ordeal. "It's not your fault."

"But…"

"It's not your fault." Asami repeated. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault. It's not Issei's fault either. Ok? What happened today was my fault. I got greedy and rushed things. I shouldn't have pushed you on Issei like that. He's prone to overreacting, but I highly doubt that he meant to hurt you. You can already tell, can't you? Issei hates hurting people."

He was apt at insulting people perpetually to the point of making them blind with rage at times, but her son was always someone that from the bottom of his heart just wanted to help people and make them happy in the end.

It was a shame that his heart was so broken and mangled now.

"Mmm. He's really kind. But, scared." Asia hit the nail on the head.

"Yeah. That more or less summarizes him. Kind, but scared… and perverted."

"Pervert?"

"But scared." Asami backtracked. Now was not the time to have that particular discussion with an overwhelmingly impressionable teenage nun.

Maybe later.

Thankfully, Asia had been too shocked by Issei's reaction of her to notice pretty much everything else that was in his room at the time.

"I just don't want him to be afraid of me anymore."

Good GOD this girl was adorable. Asami wanted to smack her son silly for even thinking that this child was anything but pristine fluff. "We'll take it slow. My son is an idiot at times, but he's not completely oblivious." She held Asia at arm's length so they could make eye contact. "How about a little girl time to get your mind off of things? I saw that you only brought robes and habits in your suitcase. Not a single pair of pants or modern clothes. How about we do a little shopping this week? Give you a new look."

"Clothes shopping?" Asia sniffed, a bit unsure about the prospect.

"You'll feel like a completely new person. Later, I'll take you to the salon I go to for a full spa treatment. You deserve to be pampered for once, and while Issei's actually not a bad hand at spoiling a girl when he's motivated, I think that you deserve a gentle first time. One that doesn't have a habit of snarking every thirty seconds."

Then again, the two teens still couldn't understand one another with the language thing still going. It might be for the best if Asami did let (force) him to pamper Asia sooner rather than later before he had a chance to ruin the experience for her.

Say what you wanted about her son, but Issei could give one hell of a manipedi if needed.

"B-but I can't do that. I don't have any money, and you've already done so much for me, and-"

"Honey, money isn't a problem here. Not for something as simple as clothes. You deserve that much, and more." Asami smiled and grabbed her wallet. It was about time she spoiled herself with the fortune that Issei gave her access to. The boy was a financial stickler at times, but there was no way he'd complain about splurging on something like this. "Come on. By the end of the day, you'll feel like a whole new person."

"Eh? But! I-I-" Asia's protests fell on deaf ears as the older woman grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside of the house without giving the poor girl a chance to argue her case in a way that was eerily similar to a certain impulsive porn obsessed teen.

Neither one of them noticed the individual watching them walk down the street from the rooftops of a nearby building.

o. o. o.

Issei woke up.

It took him fifteen seconds to calm down enough to realize that he had woken up in the first place.

"Ngh." He picked himself up from the bed, no, couch, that he had been passed out on and take note that he wasn't in his room at the moment. "Where am… I?"

His gaze paused at the shivering Gasper, who had a very unnerved expression on his face and a familiar tennis ball by the side of his feet.

"S-sempai? A-are you ok?" The young vampire stammered, clearly scared of something.

"Dio? What are you, wait, right, Weeb's place." He shook his head to try and get rid of the cobwebs in his mind. "I'm fine, but what's with you?" The poor runt looked like he was about to piss his skirt.

"M-me? You mean y-you don't…" Gasper trailed off, not knowing the right way to ask why Issei had just for a few seconds been absolutely radiating a frantic and overwhelming killing intent just before he had woken up. It had come out of nowhere and caught him vampire completely by surprise. It had literally almost suffocated the poor boy had it not been for its short duration.

"Don't what? Words and sentences Dio." He really needed to get the kid some confidence. Some people thought that stammering was cute, but it got real old real fast when you needed shit to be done.

Gasper clearly was thinking about what he should say and what would the results would be before making a decision. "Y-you uh, you talk in your sleep. It got r-really bad."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the main reason why Gasper was nearly shitting bricks either.

"I… fuck. I forgot about that." Issei missed the clear coverup and sat up straight. He did know he talked in his sleep, and knowing just how bad his nightmares could be made it easy for him to come to an undesirable conclusion. "What time is it?"

"It's, um, almost eight thirty." Gasper looked at his watch. "Rias-sempai needed to use her office, so we had Koneko-chan take you here by moving the couch so we, you know, didn't wake you up."

He appreciated the kid's attempt at skirting around his hatred of being touched, but he didn't like being pitied. He was a mess, but he wasn't an invalid.

His tired gaze turned down to the dropped tennis ball on the ground. "You were practicing."

"Eh? Oh! Y-yeah. I was." Gasper was clearly glad for the change in subject.

"Any progress?"

"I can almost turn my eyes on and off when I want now. At least, when I'm practicing with the ball. B-but it's still much better than what I was doing before." As if to prove his point, Gasper grabbed the green ball, tossed it up into the air, and then momentarily froze it in place just a little bit after it started to fall again.

"Mmm." Issei absently nodded. "Don't settle for just that. Add more factors to increase your control and familiarity while using it. Try moving while keeping the ball in place. Circle around it. Train your peripheral vision so you don't bump into anything while focusing on the ball."

"I-I'll tr-uagh!" Gasper attempted to follow Issei's instructions, but ended up tripping over the carpet in the room, and splayed himself out in a way that would be quite enticing to the male population, had anyone assumed that he was not a male.

A second later, the ball he had frozen in time bounced off of the poor boy's head.

"Keep trying. Who knows, you might get it by the time puberty hits you."

"Uuugh. You're mean." Gasper wept helplessly.

"And you're a trap."

"Aaaaaah." Judging from his response, Issei was fairly certain that Gasper knew that he wasn't stretching the truth for once.

Finally. Someone that wasn't completely oblivious or ignorant of their personal quirks that wasn't a total asshole.

In another part of the building, Raynare sneezed.

The doors to the room opened, letting Kiba and Koneko inside. "Is everything all right? I heard something fall."

"Dio." Issei pointed at Gasper lazily.

"Y-yeah. It was me." The culprit sighed dejectedly, not even bothering to try and correct him this time.

Kiba looked like he wanted to say something, but upon seeing the rather tame situation in the room, he thought better of it.

"I thought you lot normally did contracts after school." Issei asked, somewhat surprised to see all of Rias' lower ranks here still.

"We don't normally go out until after sundown, or ten. Whichever comes first." Kiba shrugged. "It's only urgent requests that get taken any earlier, and if that happens they fall under the immediate jurisdiction of Rias-sama or Akeno-san due to the danger probability."

"Makes sense." The guest nodded absently while slowly stretching to get all the kinks out of his body. Comfortable or not, he still had just spent four hours on a couch.

"How long are you going to freeload here?" Koneko asked bluntly.

That was a good question. He knew he needed to go back home eventually, but he had already come to Weeb's place and it always rubbed him the wrong way if he didn't get something done if he went somewhere.

That being said…

Without warning he had a cell phone in his hand, lifting it up into the air…

He didn't even get to press the button before it was cut in half, curtsey of Kiba with a fresh sword in hand.

To the side, Koneko looked like she was halfway in the process of pouncing onto the infernal device.

Gasper had been more defensive, hands already firmly over his ears.

They were finally developing a sense of perpetual awareness.

"Better." He didn't care about the loss of his phone. The one that had just been scrapped had been a burner.

"Why are you here?" Koneko repeated with more frustration this time.

He shrugged and told her the truth. "Wanted to watch porn."

"… What."

"Ask the Weeb." Issei yawned, ignoring the looks of complete disbelief. The latest nap had helped calm his nerves a bit. He was still tired. He was always tired, but he was a bit better now.

"Couldn't you have just done that somewhere else? Like in your home?" Koneko stated the obvious.

His eyes narrowed. "It's not safe there anymore. The Ninja Puppy can enter my room without warning."

Kiba dismissed his sword with a sigh and shook his head. "You know what, I will ask Buchou what's going on after all. I'm terrified of what will happen if we keep on asking you for a straight answer."

"Someone's learning."

"We should have just tossed him off the roof while he was asleep like I suggested earlier." Koneko grumbled.

"Wouldn't have been the first time jailbait."

"I wonder why."

"Surprisingly, it was because the guys that trained me were bigger assholes than what I'm doing for you… other than Flathead-sensei. He was chill."

Fuck you Ghost. Fuck you and that pile of wrenches you used for training.

Once again, the room was awkwardly silent.

"… I never did get my pants back from that bastard."

"I'm just going to go now." Kiba slowly stepped outside the room.

"Take me with you." Koneko nearly raced him.

Issei didn't bother to stop the Knight and Rook bolt, leaving him and a very confused Gasper alone again.

The pair looked at one another warily for a very uncomfortable ten seconds before Issei held up the cross dresser's tennis ball to him.

"Again."

o. o. o.

"I'm sorry, my hearing must have failed me." Sona gave Rias a dry glare. "Did you just say that you made another contract with that raving idiot?"

"Technically, since Issei's existence is supposed to be kept under wraps, there haven't been any official contracts made. Even with you." The accused deflected the accusation unconvincingly.

"This is what, the third time with him?" Sona ignored her friend, nursing a growing headache. "First with Gasper. Then with everyone's training. Now it's, what again?"

"Addressing pretty much my entire peerage's list of issues." Rias couldn't defend herself from Sona's disappointment. It was well deserved after all. "He came over last night with the express intent to point out that my Peerage was, in his words, as stable and long lasting as a fictional sitcom family." Or enriched uranium. All it would take is the right trigger and it would all blow up everything in the vicinity.

"And you actually believe him?"

"You've seen what he's like when he's serious. It's hard to argue when he's throwing facts and everyone's shortcomings in your face without a second thought. In case you haven't noticed, he's somewhat familiar with the concept of trauma victims." She shook her head. Kiba's poor reaction regarding anything holy sword related, and Akeno's reaction to being near other Fallen were top of his list, and she couldn't rightfully argue against it. As a high profile noble, she was bound to deal with both on short notice at some point, and if those issues weren't dealt with by then it could lead to political nightmare.

"So you thought that your best course of action was to make Issei of all people be their improvised psychologist?" Sona looked straight into Rias' eyes. "Simply being in proximity of that boy for extended periods of time is enough to cause mental trauma, and you expect him to cure it?"

"What would you expect me to do? Hire a professional?" The accused shook her head. "In case you have forgotten, I've tried that. Several times. For everyone in my Peerage. At best, all that did was help them develop shells so they could handle walking out in public and dealing with people for small periods of time. Sona, have you noticed at all that unlike your pieces, mine have next to no social live or hobbies outside of their duties? At best, Akeno tends to the city shrine, by herself, Koneko explores sweet shops, by herself, and Gasper has his games, in his room. Kiba doesn't even do anything in his spare time but train his swordsmanship."

Well when she put it like that, even Sona had to admit that Issei may have a point. "But Issei of all people? I can't tell who you're punishing more, your peerage, him, or yourself."

That makes two of them. "I admit, it was an impulsive move on my part, but I had to take some of the momentum away from him. He was leading the entire conversation and you know how I get when I'm constantly being talked down to."

"I'm starting to think that you can't be trusted to be alone in a room with him for any period of time. For everyone's safety." Sona dryly stated. "Again, how in any world did you ever think that letting him deal with your peerage's issues was a smart idea?"

Rias sighed and shook her head. "Do you know what Kiba's training is? Apparently Sword Birth is highly similar to the powers of some fictional character with blacksmith themed abilities. He's making Kiba play the entire game."

"So? What's so special about that?" Sona was clearly missing something important.

"One of the main characters in the game is King Arthur." Rias dropped the bomb. "And Issei managed to convince Kiba to play it in five minutes. Not peacefully, mind you, but Kiba's still going through with it."

"What?" Ok. Now Sona was impressed. She had seen what Kiba had been like when Rias had first rescued him, so she knew just how bad the knight could be when it came to that particular topic.

"I was just as surprised as you are. Issei's a mess, but he's exceptional at figuring out how other people tick and working that to his advantage. You saw how effective he was at coming up with training methods for everyone. Even us. Once he learns enough, he barely needed time to think about what to do or say next. No, I doubt he even bothers to second guess his assumptions before moving on them."

She couldn't argue against that. Issei was illogical and irrational as could be when left to his own devices, but once he was given a focus he was remarkably on point and rarely stopped to skirt around sensitive subjects.

For people that were inundated in the political world and its countless maneuverings, he was both the easiest and hardest sort of person to deal with.

"So what did he get in return?" Sona broke the awkward silence first. "I highly doubt he would be willing to go along with such an idea when offered."

Rias laughed nervously and thought back to his initial reaction to her suggestion. "That's putting it mildly."

"No! No! No! That is a terrible idea and you should be ashamed of yourself for being even capable of having it in the first place! Stop talking to me and lament on your current situation from a safe distance!"

It would probably be for the best that she didn't bring up the fact that Issei genuinely looked like he was about to jump out the closest window before she could explain her case. Thankfully, he was the sort of honest fool that could be restrained with cold hard logic so long as he couldn't argue against it, even if he really wanted to.

"I actually ran through pretty much everything I could give as payment for his services without luck. He even turned down an unconditional favor."

"You what?" Sona looked at her best friend as is she had just grown another head.

"I know. I know. But he turned it down regardless without a second thought. He was completely uninterested in it." Rias waved away her reaction while secretly hiding how endeared she was. There weren't many people that could turn down one of those, especially from her family. "In the end, I lucked out while grasping at straws. I didn't even think it would work, but well, it's Issei, so conventional expectations don't really apply with him. So now, at least twice a week, someone from my Peerage has to help him with his Porn related escapades."

"… Come again?" It was getting worse. Issei's madness was infecting Rias now.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why did you offer to help that idiot with Porn?"

"I-It's not like that." Rias finally realized what her friend was getting at. "It's more secretarial work. You should have seen how many binders and documents he was going through. Profiles, medical backgrounds, legalities, deals. He does almost as much work as we do managing Kuoh in its entirety. Combined. By himself."

Sona's glasses flashed dangerously. "You're serious."

"I was surprised when I came to that conclusion too, but after going through the documentation, I really can't think otherwise." Rias shifted uncomfortably. "We all knew that his obsession with Porn was his coping mechanism, but it looks like we underestimated the extremes he's taken it to."

From what she read and saw, it was almost as if Issei was genuinely capable of running and managing an entire filming set if he wanted to, so long as it was a porno of course.

It was impressive, unhealthy, and genuinely worrying.

"I can't see how your Peerage would go along with that deal. Either part of it." Akeno might be interested in working with his Porn related exploits, but she sure as hell wouldn't take too well to being made to talk about her issues with Issei of all people.

"We agreed to postpone actually enacting either part of the agreement for a while. At least until everyone gets more used to him being around." That, and for Kiba to finish that game of his and had his promised fight with Issei.

No. More than that. In order for Kiba to be even remotely willing or receptive to do anything Issei wanted after the fight, there could only be one outcome to the match. Issei would have to shut Kiba down. Hard, and in a way that blatantly underscored the difference in power and ability between them.

Rias wasn't sure if she was looking to seeing it or not. Best not to let Kiba know about that.

"Well, at least you two are exercising some modicum of patience." Sona shifted her glasses with a sigh. "Until then, what is Issei to do? I assume he's going back to holing himself in his room at every conceivable moment again."

"Apparently he's going to multitask and do his paperwork." She shrugged. "In his words, the sooner the most pathetic member of my peerage is capable of taking care of himself, the sooner he won't have to babysit my peerage every waking moment and he can get back to watching porn without worrying that the town will fall apart around him."

It took Sona a few moments to repeat the statement in her head before she let out a bitter laugh. "You were right. He's terrible at hiding his real intentions. Who'd ever suspect that that immature fool was such a bleeding heart?"

"I know, right?" Rias let out her own giggle. "It would be endearing if he wasn't so crass about everything."

"And it will be interesting to see what goes on behind the scenes of making Porn and what his collection's like."

"Exactly!" Rias laughed before realizing what she had just agreed to, and noticed the accusing stare of her best friend.

"… I knew it."

"Sona! It's not like that!"

"I'm sure Akeno would be just as believable."

"I-I'm serious." The Gremory Heiress devolved into an embarrassed little girl that was poking her fingers together, ashamed about being caught. "Everyone keeps on going on about how pretty and amazing we are, even back home, but Issei's different. When he says it, it's like stating a fact like my hair is red or water is wet. There's no feeling in it. But then he goes on about his Porn and some of the actresses and, I'm kinda curious. What do they have that I don't?"

She had been blown off by others before, but most of the time it was by pompous men and women with egos that could dwarf their net worth. Issei acknowledged her beauty and appeal without hesitation, and then with as much ease dismissed it as "not enough". She wanted to know what and who exactly she was measured up against.

"You're jealous because he's rating porn stars higher than you." Sona summarized blandly.

"Well when you put it like that..." She couldn't deny it to an extent.

"Did it ever occur to you that it might just be because of the sex and nudity?"

"Yes, but, this is Issei we are talking about. Do you really think it would be that simple with him?"

"Against every desire in me to say otherwise, no." Sona relented. Issei was the sort of person that could turn a straight line into a roller coaster just by looking at the thing.

"He tends to do that a lot."

"Don't remind me." Sona shook her head, leaning back in her chair and sighing deeply. "Why are you really here Rias? You know how irritated I would get if you just came over to complain and brag about Issei."

Rias held back a bitter smile, knowing that she couldn't hide something so obvious from her friend. Reaching back into her bag, she pulled out a piece of paper. "Issei was writing on the original of this before he passed out from exhaustion. I made a copy as we were moving his things out of my office."

Lifting an eyebrow skeptically, Sona took the form and scanned it. She was impressed. Despite being made for the sex industry, this medical diagnostic form was up to the standards that she saw in the hospitals in her territory. She wasn't a doctor by any means, but she knew enough to understand what she was reading.

"Is this about the drug that you mentioned earlier? The one that mutated that stray you hunted last week?"

"Somewhat. Look at the notes section." Rias instructed with an unreadable tone.

Sona obliged, and quickly saw what her friend was getting at.

The drug is being dispersed with increased frequency over the past few weeks.

The timing lines up with me being more active.

This isn't a coincidence. I'm being called out.

There's a leak. She knows I'm alive.

"You're right. This is concerning." The Sitri's glasses flashed ominously. Some might think she was doing that on purpose, but anyone with experience knew that the "glasses flash" was a byproduct of the user's powers fluctuating, the disturbance being refracted off of the users' lens.

"I don't think he would have written that down if he wasn't as exhausted as he was." Rias stated evenly. "I didn't think much of it before, but he did act suspiciously when he realized that Vizard was using the drug. If he suspected something since then, it makes sense why he's pushing us to be stronger."

"But that begs the question as to why would he be connected with the substance to begin with?" Sona asked the next logical question. "As prolific as he supposedly is in the medical fields, I don't see him being much of a pharmacist or chemist. If he ever obtained a job in medicine, he'd be one that proscribes drugs, not makes them. At least until he'd get fired for poor behavior."

"Mmm. That was my impression as well." Rias agreed, solidifying Sona's statement. "Do you know anything about the drug in question?"

"Not much more than you. It's only been rumors until recently. A green substance that dulls the mind, makes everything about sex better, numbs pain, gives non-humans a boost in energy, mutates the body, some say that it even makes getting pregnant easier."

"Next thing you'll tell me is that it can cure cancer." Rias rolled her eyes. "I can vouch for the other effects though. Viser was an easy target until she overdosed and mutated into that abomination."

"And it's supposedly ramping up in production, if Issei is to be believed." Sona tapped an irritated finger on her desk as she thought hard on the situation. "At the very least, we need to talk to your brother and my sister about this. This isn't a problem that is limited to us."

"And the one responsible for it is supposedly interested in Issei one way or another. Meaning there is likely going to be an increase in drug users in general. And eventually, here." Rias concluded.

"He couldn't just tell us up front about this." Sona shook her head.

"I think, I think he suspected that we wouldn't believe him. Or that we might blame him." Rias grimaced. "He clearly has trust issues, and what we have now is still only circumstantial evidence. It's not unreasonable to assume that much. Though, even if he's wrong, we're still getting stronger in the end with little drawback."

"Other than the damage to our sanity and integrity."

"Please. You say that every time you see your sister."

"My point still stands."

"Whatever you say." Rias gave up the argument. Sona had a rather severe love hate relationship with more chaotic individuals that she couldn't control.

"Getting back on point. Where is Issei? If he's become such a handful tonight, I'd have suspected that you'd be keeping an eye on him to make sure he didn't do anything rash."

"He's in a spare room right now. Watching porn." She really didn't want to add that second part, but at this point she might as well get it out of the way. "So long as he's occupied, he shouldn't cause too much trouble. No one in my peerage other than Gasper is likely to seek him out on their own accord."

o. o. o.

Akeno stood in front of Issei, glaring at him. They were the only ones in the room.

Issei stared back, unimpressed and unamused. He'd rather be watching the video he had put on pause.

The air between them was tense. Ominous. And eerily silent.

Very slowly, Issei reached behind his back, and pulled out an order catalogue, lifting it up to face level. The front cover was littered with sex toys, lotions, and other items for sensual use.

On the front of the magazine read: "Mad Doctor's Office. If nobody's screaming, then everyone's not having fun".

Akeno snagged from his hand with a face that was quickly matching the same color as her King's hair.

"So, did you enjoy-"

"Shut up and touch my finger already!"

o. o. o.

"Somehow, I wouldn't bet on that." Sona doubted it. Logic tended to go out the window the moment Issei was around. "What about Koneko? After what she learned Saturday, if what he said about Kuroka was true…"

"It's true. Or at least, what he said was true according to him. He's not the type that that would lie about something like that." Rias shook her head. "Koneko's still in a state of shock about the matter. She doesn't know what to do yet, or if she wants to do anything at all. Not that I blame her. Instead, she's putting it all off and practically drowning herself in those Ki manipulation books Issei lent her."

"She'll have to address this sometime. It's not healthy to try and ignore it. Not after a bomb like that." Sona sighed, leaning back in her seat.

"I know. But at the same time, I think the training will be good for her. Let her get comfortable with her nature and powers again. Come to terms with herself. The books are useful, but I noticed she's really interested in the notes he wrote in them. She's never been much of an active studier, but I honestly haven't seen her without one of the books since she started."

"Really? That is surprising." Then again, it might not. Her own peerage had taken to Issei's training goals far better than she would have assumed. Each set of instructions he gave them fit their strengths and histories extremely well, while still being easy to comprehend and extremely practical. He was still an asshole, but at least he was an asshole that gave them easy instructions to follow that made sense.

"So what are you doing with him for now?" Sona got back on track. "Are you seriously just going to let him watch porn in your clubhouse every night because he's afraid of a harmless nun?"

"No actually. He's going to shadow Gasper while he starts doing contracts around town."

"… You really need to stop dropping these things on me from nowhere Rias."

"How do you think I felt when he suggested it?" The accused deadpanned. "It'll only be a couple days a week, but he'll more or less just babysit Gasper while he visits clients."

"Ignoring the obvious madness that will take place because of that, and the incredibly high chance that he will scare away any long term prospective clients that your bishop might make, how?" Sona stressed. "We can't teleport people directly to our clients that aren't part of our peerages."

"Um… apparently we can. It's just that we were never taught because we didn't have the authority to yet." Rias shifted nervously, remembering Issei ream her a new one when he pointed out that there had been countless contracts granted over the centuries where the other party wanted, oh say, to go to some place as fast as possible in an emergency, or go to some exotic location on vacation. You know, obvious relocation based requests.

"And let me guess, he conveniently does know these methods." The Sitri deadpanned.

"He took one look at my teleportation glyph and started lecturing me about how basic it was." She dropped her head in exhaustion and depression.

"I don't know whether to be disappointed that we didn't know of it earlier, annoyed that Issei knew about it before us, or infuriated at the prospect that I will have to owe him something for when he teaches me how to do it." Sona couldn't simply ask Rias to fork over the designs when Issei was done with hers. Glyph modification was an extremely finicky craft. Even if the purposes were exactly the same, there were dozens of minute tweaks that needed to be made depending on the origin of the core of seals and the nature of their powers.

"It's Issei. You're perfectly in the right to be all three." Rias reasoned.

"I'll take it into consideration."

"In hindsight, it's peculiar that he can interact with Devil magic and formulae so casually. Even if he's a battle medic like you claim, he's still human."

"One mystery at a time Sona. We have enough on our hands as it is. Odds are we'll probably find that one out by accident eventually." When it came to Issei, they were quickly learning that the more absurd the answer was, the more likely it was true.

"Mmmm." Sona nodded before blinking as if remembering something. "Speaking of humans and devils, where's that unfortunate crow that's supposed to the local babysitter?"

Rias' mind stalled as she tried to think of a suitable answer.

o. o. o.

"Fuuuuck." Raynare moaned with one hand down her skirt and another clawing at her breast in one of the abandoned rooms of the clubhouse. In front of her was Issei's laptop playing some of the more hardcore porn she had found stored on it, this time involving a stacked devil with blue hair tied up and being teased relentlessly by a slim fallen in a leather ensemble that looked elaborate and expensive enough to cover the mortgage of a family home for a couple of months.

Closer. Not much further now. With carefully timed thrusts and tweaks, she was bringing herself to a climax in time with the Fallen on the screen as she was being eaten out.

"That's it. Eat me you useless abandoned whore. Use that tongue. Faster…" She muttered, losing herself to her own fantasy. After weeks of dealing with Issei, it had almost been routine for her to crank one or three out whenever she had enough time to unwind.

Thump thump thump…

A little more.

Thump thump thump thump thump…

Right there. That's it. Just one more thrust and-

BANG!

The door of the room slammed open behind her, revealing a tweaked but not the same way as she was Issei.

Raynare reacted just like anyone would had their door been kicked open while openly masturbating and made a wonderful imitation of a deer staring down the headlights of a car.

"…"

"…"

"DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!"

And like that, her arousal was abruptly killed. Much like what was soon going to happen to a certain Porn obsessed annoyance.

o. o. o.

"… Trying to enjoy some time off while she can." Rias stated diplomatically.

"I don't want to know any more than that, do I?"

"No." She really couldn't tell if she could in good conscience take a side on that particular fiasco. She didn't want to either.

"Well whatever it is, she probably deserves it. Fallen or not, I wouldn't wish her job on my worst enemies."

"Be that as it may, we still have to play our roles." Rias stood up. "It's best if our Peerages don't look too much into this for now. We don't want to distract them anymore than they already are."

"I'll just tell mine that the sooner they get stronger the sooner they won't have to deal with him anymore. That should be motivation enough." Sona nodded, turning her attention back to her papers. "I'll let you know what I find about the drugs."

"And I'll update you on any possible developments." They came to a consensus. Both knew that there was a storm brewing in the distance, but neither knew enough to properly deal with it just yet.

What they both could agree on though, was that their sibblings were assholes for not giving them more information on what the hell was going on.

o. o. o.

Issei yawned as he walked through the front door at two in the morning. He had taken his time travelling from school this time. It wasn't often that the Cougar left him alone for this long outside the house, and he wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet for once.

He enjoyed it almost a little too much to be honest. He almost fell asleep a few times during the trip.

"Issei? Are you home?" Surprisingly, Asami called from the kitchen, which immediately raised some red flags in his mind. His mother occasionally did do some late nights, but rarely did they ever take place in the kitchen unless she was cooking something at the last second.

"Yeah." He tentatively answered. "Why are you still up?"

"I was waiting for you honey." She replied, sticking her head out into view, her expression was all he needed to see to know that the conversation wasn't going to end soon.

"What happened?" His heartbeat began to accelerate slightly, his mind overclocking to try and figure out what was amiss. Very briefly, he expanded his senses to try and see if there was anyone else in the house other than them, the Cougar, or the Ninja Puppy.

Asami immediately saw he was putting himself in fight or flight mode and stepped in, holding her arms out wide and giving him a few seconds to read her body language before she hugged him gently. "No no. It's not that kind of problem Issei. Don't worry. Calm down please. It's all right. Everything is all right."

Despite how fast he had put himself on guard, it took almost a full few minutes for him to slow down his breathing to an even tempo again.

"Are you good?" The worried mother asked, stroking the top of his head as if he was a small child and not standing nearly a head taller than her.

"I… yeah. Yeah, I'm good." It was a lie and they both knew it, but he had recovered enough to have a lucid conversation without immediately losing control now. "What happened?"

"Asia, I, no, we made a mistake with her." Asami tried to figure out the right words to use.

"The Ninja Puppy? What about her?" He was caught off guard, not sure what his mother was talking about.

They walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table where Asami's half drunk tea was sitting. "That girl… you know more about the underworld than I do. You're more than familiar with how bad it can get. I try to stay away from it whenever possible, for us, but I'm not ignorant of some of the things that goes on. Secret wars. Assassination. Cults."

Issei nodded, knowing she was getting to the point.

"That girl said that she was a talented healer. I'm assuming that means she's like you?"

"She makes me look like a novice. And that's with the half assed resources that the Church has." He told her the truth. "I'm honestly jealous of her potential."

He ignored the annoyed throbbing in his left arm indicating that Ddraig took offence to that statement.

Asami blinked in surprise before getting back on track. "Really? Then, no, that's not the point. If she's that good then what she went through makes more sense then."

"Meaning?" Issei frowned in confusion.

"When she was in the Church, they apparently made her treat everyone they had. The innocents, the guilty, and their victims."

It took a moment for him to realize what she was talking about before his complexion paled. "Shit. You mean…"

"Captives that were being tortured for information, or punishment, or for whatever absurd reason that they'd come up with. At least that's what I could gather." Asami shook her head. "Enough times that some apparently even knew of her and were terrified whenever she came around. Worse was that the poor child was clearly coerced to do it. She had until recently convinced herself that the act of healing people regardless of the situation was God's will and the right thing to do just to protect her sanity from collapsing. That is until she did whatever she did to get kicked out."

The quiet kitchen was immensely uncomfortable for the both of them until Asami broke the silence once again.

"At first, I thought she was handling everything quite well for a girl that had gone through what she had, put into a situation that she was clearly unprepared for. But… we overestimated her. I got ahead of myself this morning when I urged her to wake you up, knowing just how you'd react. But, then, you reacted. And, well, she saw someone screaming in fear of her again."

And she relapsed. The protective shell around Asia Argento's psyche had broken down as the one sight that had plagued her mind and fueled her doubts assaulted her at her weakest.

Issei's hands clenched into fists, and his body began to tremble. "I… this is…"

"Our fault." Asami interrupted before he could finish the sentence, knowing exactly where her son was going to go with that train of thought. "We're both to blame for this honest mistake, and the both of us will work to fix it. Ok? You complain enough to know that I'm able to fuck up too every now and then."

The boy that looked back at her wasn't the guarded teen that snapped at everyone, or the surly young man that shunned the world around him. It was the lost and confused young boy that was desperately hanging onto every word that his mother spoke. It was the real face of her son that frantically hid from everyone and everything around him.

Asami smiled gently. She missed moments like this. Moments where she didn't have to try and second guess or dissect everything that Issei did. Moments where he was genuinely honest with her. Moments where they could just be a simple loving mother and son again.

"The poor girl is a pure blank slate right now, but one littered with cracks. She's as lost as you are, and is completely dependent on us to figure out not just what to do with her life, but who she is in the first place." She went on. "She has no idea what to do with herself, and she's so sheltered that she can't even make sense of the world around her. So we have to help her. Teach her. Make her feel like she isn't the monster or mistake that she believes she is. That means you have to tone down your reactions to her, ok?"

Issei nodded, albeit uncertainly. "I, she can…"

"She's like Jasmine. And that scares you. I know." She read her son like an open book. "The idea of getting close to anyone after what you've been through is still terrifying, isn't it? After what happened to you, and them, anyone would understand. But you can't keep hiding forever Issei. That's why we made you go back to school again."

He avoided eye contact with his mother. He knew she was right. He was a genius, but she was always the one that was right when it mattered.

Smiling, Asami stood up, walked around the table, and gently hugged her little boy. "You're not a bad person Issei. You were never a bad person, no matter what anyone says. No matter what you think of yourself. It hurts to see what they've made you do to yourself. You're one of the kindest people on the planet, and you've been hurt so badly you can't even see or accept it anymore."

It was warm.

Being held by another person like this. He missed it, loved it, hungered for it like a starving man (dragon) to the point that most sentient beings would genuinely go insane from it, but… that desire and willingness to expose himself scared him with as much madness inducing intensity.

The perpetual vicious conflict between his shunt away desires (instincts) and the fear that smothered everything, every day, every conversation, every waking moment, was nothing short of soul scarring.

"… I'm tired." He repeated the two words that held more meaning than most would ever comprehend or imagine. His mind slowly began to shut down again as he let his body collapse into his mother's care.

"I know Issei." She stroked his hair gently as he began to fall asleep again.

Outside the room, Raynare leaned against a wall with her arms crossed and eyes closed. She stayed there in silence for another ten minutes before coming to the conclusion that there wasn't going to be any further developments for the night, and quietly returned to her room.

o. o. o.

Seven years ago, Issei's mindscape:

"DODGE!"

"AAAH!"

"DODGE!"

"FUCK!"

"DODGE!"

"I GOT IT AL-" Thunk. "OWWWW!"

"YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION AND MISSED THE UNDERLYING DODGE! FROM THE BEGINNING!"

Issei felt like crying as he nursed the wound he got from the wrench that Ghost had chucked at him. After all these years of absurd training and humiliation, he felt like he was no closer to getting closer to the insane bastard than he was when he had first started.

This latest training practice in particular was pretty bad, even if it was stupidly simple. All it consisted of was Ghost chucking one of the hundreds of wrenches that he had foolishly taken into his Sacred Gear at him for hours on end…

While they were both stark naked.

Ghost's logic for that last part more or less boiled down to: If you can dodge a wrench while you and or your opponent are naked and not give a shit about it, you can dodge lethal attacks while you and or your opponent are naked and not give a shit about it.

Issei had several misgivings about that logic. Ghost on the other hand, true to form, didn't give a shit, or Issei a choice for that matter.

Everything went. Shoes. Socks. Pants. Underwear. They were both completely naked to the blank world.

The only exception to the rule was Ghost's sunglasses. The man was quite adamant about keeping those things on.

That being said, the boy was a bit shocked when he first saw the immortal undressed. It wasn't the guy's junk that had him distracted, but the number of wounds on his body.

Ghost's right pectoral was practically non-existent, replaced with a hole that looked like someone had taken a massive drill directly to his chest. The flesh in and around the hole was a perpetual angry red, as if it was still inflamed or healing. If it weren't for the fact that the guy was an immortal with countless tricks up his sleeve, Issei would have been kept up for weeks trying to figure out how the hell was capable of moving his right arm at all, let alone moving it without being driving insane from the pain it would cause.

Aside from the obvious, the man also had two thick lacerations that went down either side of his spine for the top half of his back. Those were healed up nicely, but still scarred to the point that they made spine stick out more than it really should.

Those were the only consistent wounds that Ghost had. But not the only ones.

True to his claim to being an abomination that didn't follow the rules of convention, the immortal had countless other wounds that spawned all over his body, and then faded away from existence after some time just as easily, like a mirage. Issei saw nearly every type of physical injury a human could sustain possible at one point or another on the immortal, and countless more he had never heard or read of.

Thunk.

"GOD DAMN IT!"

"STOP COMPLAINING TO THE DEAD!"

Of course, no matter what injury the man was sporting at the time, none of this really prevented the asshole from being able to fastball pieces of metal at a ten year old's skull with the sadistic glee of a psychopath.

Issei would have purged his Sacred Gear storage of all of the damn things, but somehow Ghost managed to hack the system in his body and claim all of the wrenches for himself.

Not the porn. Not the food. Not the video games. Just the wrenches.

Something vital inside the poor boy that supported his faith in the universe died the moment that discovery truly set in.

Slowly, day by day, Issei was growing more desensitized to the bizarre and nonsensical in their extremes. The horrifying and the silly were gaining the same worth in his eyes, impacting him with less and less weight when there was a priority to be completed.

He could think more clearly under unusual circumstances. Prioritize and take into account facts without social standards and meaningless afterthoughts interrupting him from making the right calls.

In a world like this, were desires, sins, and virtues were all freely exploited without hesitation, such conditioning was mandatory in order to excel and thrive.

"FINISHING MOVE! NAKED OILED MAN BEAR HUGS SMALL ALSO NAKED CHILD! ALL THE HOMO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Slowly. Day by day.

Thunk.

"YOU FORGOT TO DODGE!"

Slowly.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thanks Crayzayjay for betaing.

Ugh. You know you're a writer when you look at a chapter or piece of work you've made, and then willingly scrap half of the damn thing because you didn't like the way it turned. I would have gotten this bastard out two weeks ago if I took the lazy way out.

Honestly, I wanted to get more stuff done in this chapter than I did, but anyone that knows my style knows how ocd I am when it comes to prioritizing character and world development over plot development. Consider this more of a, training aftermath kind of chapter.

As for Asia's trauma, honestly, I think this kind of shock fits her character really well. She's still a naive blonde perpetual moe generator, but considering she was working for the Church this entire time, and the Church is known for doing incredibly sketchy things every now and then, and it's stance on everything that doesn't have Heaven's seal of approval, what I did with her could very possibly have happened in canon, just without the lasting scars.

Granted, I didn't need to mind screw Asia like I did, but it does give her past and character a bit more depth and color to it, and it does allow her more ways to interact with Issei in the long run with better fluidity while still keeping her character more or less the same. Plus, I'm not really going to spend much time on it in general, so, yeah.

Things are going to be a bit faster now that I don't have to bother with every damn character in Kuoh at once. Next chapter will be a bit… gimmicky. Bit of a spoiler, Issei's gonna bleed from his eyes at one point. And it will be marvelous.

But. More importantly.

Scream it high and scream it low.

I'm officially back on FFD again.

Yorokobe.

And absolutely nothing will stop me from getting the shit out on ti-

(gets beaned on the head by Fire Emblem)

I Said, NOTHING WILL-

(Gets a full facial of Borderlands 3)

GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING JEFF BEZO'S LAWYER'S BASTARD CHILD'S CULTIST TEACHER! WITH A SANDWICH!

On a side note, for those of you that don't know, I also sell/do tshirts based off of my works. It's the only real financial way that anyone can support me right now, since I don't feel comfortable being directly paid for writing fanfiction in general. Currently, I only have one GAIWP shirt set up, but I have a tender spot in my heart for this one.

For The Harem.

Look on my profile for the link to the teespring website. The site's a bit finicky so I can't keep it available all the time, but I do try to make related shirts to the fics I make open for a week or so after a new chapter is posted. So enjoy.

And uh. Yeah. That's it. Life's Life. Work's Work. My sister got a job as a data analyst at a start-up company in Boston that pays much better than at HSBC, and she couldn't be happier.

So yeah. That's it.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! ISSEI TOUCHED AKENO'S FINGER! AND REVIEW AGAIN!