"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."

Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.

Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...

Part L…

"No."

"Yes."

"No, Frank. Absolutely no."

"We can't send the girl in alone, either she'd escape with Morene or he'd kill her."

Aww…Lorelei beamed, listening on her Sound Blaster from her corner. I owe you for that, Mr. Drebbin. But since I haven't killed you as previously ordered…

Though that change was ordered as well, but it's the lack of actually killing that counts…

Marjorie frowned at Frank. She, he, the two other agents, off to the side now guarding Rory, all still wearing hoodies…Hocken and two men from the van now with them to confer behind the shelter of the parked van. "We have her under tight surveillance, our people will move in as soon as any agent of Morene's comes and they'll go in after her. She'll be watched and safe."

Oh…Your folks are nice, Lorelei sighed. I am glad I won't be the one to end your little romance.

Unless of course this good doctor Morene fails…I do have a rep to maintain.

"The only way we're going to catch Morene is for someone to be with the girl." Frank noted.

"I can do it." Ed offered.

"Ed, I appreciate that, but you've just got Edna back, hopefully, in some temporary form based on heavy drugging. Plus, you have your kids. You can't take the risk." Frank noted.

"What about Jane?" Marjorie eyed him.

"When she recovers, she'll understand…After years of physical then mental therapy." Frank noted.

"One moment, Captain?" Marjorie turned to Ed, who nodded. She leading Frank away to the start of an alleyway.

Oooh, my spider sense of the Romantic is tingling, Rory thought, peering over to watch the two.

"And what about…Me?" Marjorie, pausing by the alleyway wall.

"Marjorie."

"I know I've no right to stake a claim here, but I'm in love with you, Frank Drebbin." She sighed. "I can bear having to give you up to your poor Jane, that's only right. But to see you go off to be killed?"

"I've no intention of being killed, Marjorie. Can't say about Morene's plans though."

"Exactly. Nor do I trust that sweet little homicidal maniac." Marjorie, glance to Rory. "If she can kill you and escape, you know she will."

"Don't worry. I'll keep a close eye on her."

"And Morene, at the same time? He's obviously very skilled at deception, Frank."

"Honey, I've been sweet talked by the best…Very few have gotten me into bed." Shrewd nod.

Hmmn…Well… "Anyway, I'll be just fine. I'll conceal myself, blend in. Morene and his people won't know I'm there. And the girl knows all deals are off if she betrays me."

"I doubt that bothers her much." Troubled tone. "So, any response to my little declaration?"

Come on, Mr. Drebbin…Lorelei, listening. I hope Rory is getting some of this. Hocken and his team watching from the van, near tears despite not being able to hear much.

"Marjorie…You know I've become very fond of you…But…" sigh.

"Just say, if things were different…Or better yet, should Jane croak…" faint smile. "Sorry…"

"If things were different is pretty good." He nodded. "But we'll always have LA General, Oakland, DC, and anywhere else we live to see on this one."

"Lets keep it, Oakland. Sounds a bit busy otherwise." She smiled. "Let me have that much…Our place."

"I doubt Jane would mind. She's never been fond of Oakland." Frank nodded. "Look, you'll have plenty of backup for me, and most of all, you. You're one fine field agent, Director Bailey. You know someone has to do this and Morene would recognize the Director. Though even if you were in disguise, he is a Nazi."

"Kiss me…" she eyed him. "Just once, to say good-bye, just in case?"

Oooh, boy! Lorelei beamed. Come on, your wife can't hold a goodbye kiss against you.

Well, maybe…But still.

The assorted others all watching, clearly hanging on the edge of their seats, figuratively.

I hope Mom's been recording the soundtrack, Rory thought, staring eagerly.

"Just once, Frank…" she pleaded. "Jane can't begrudge me or you this."

"I dunno, Jane's pretty possessive." He noted. Starting as she grabbed and kissed him full on the lips.

Hubba-hubba, Hocken thought. Wait till I tell Edna. Assuming she's sane when I do.

"Take it as coming from her…Just in case." Marjorie grinned.

Aww…Lorelei…And Rory, the other agents, Ed…And one of Morene's spies watching from a distance.

The main lab complex of…The Lair…

"I want action, Banner! Not promises! And more cheeseburgers and fries!" Crumpf's artificial voice raging over the speakers.

God, couldn't you have made him sound a little less whiny and annoying, Goebbels-Banner eyed Mabuse who shrugged.

"The food we can supply…At least the facsimile…Right now. Mabuse?" Banner turned to Dr. Mabuse who pressed buttons on the control console.

"Ummn…Hummpf…Good, good…Cheeseburger, good." Crumpf's voice.

"Ok! But remember I wanna body! Yestaday! I want that bitch's body! It's my body! I paid good money for it!"

Goebbels-Banner eyeing his dad. Wasn't it the Russian president who put up most of the funds for our research?

Humor him…Banner mouthed.

"We're hard at it, sir. The circumstances of your extraction made things more difficult, as I've explained." Banner called.

"No more excuses! I wanna be President again! I wanna her body, now!" Crumpf's voice raged. "Go and get it for me!"

Banner eyed Mabuse, who nodding, pressed buttons.

"The Leader needs his rest." Banner noted to Goebbels-Banner as Crumpf's whining, raging voice faded to something like a loud snore.

"See that no one disturbs that rest, Mabuse." He noted to Dr. Mabuse, who nodded, giggling slightly.

"Dad?" Goebbels-Banner eyed his father as they emerged from the lab. "Is this bad?"

"Not so long as we succeed. And so long as we keep the Leader sedated." Banner noted.

"But can we trust Mabuse?" Goebbels-Banner noted. "If Eric or Smirk were to get to the Leader, they might have him turn against you. Stroking his paranoia? And the way he is…That wouldn't be…"

"Nothing to worry about, son." Banner smiled. "I'm keeping an eye on them. Besides there's always Plan C, should Plan B fail."

"Ok, you'll have to bring me up to speed…Once our doctors mastered keeping the brain in stasis and the transplantation thing, Plan A was to secure the President and transfer the Leader's brain under safe conditions in America, right?"

"Check." Banner nodded. "Blocked by Frank Drebbin, damn him."

:"Plan B, partially successful…Save the Leader's brain in stasis, check. Then secure the President for the transfer, check?"Goebbels-Banner noted

"Check." Nod.

"And Plan C?" Goebbels-Banner asked.

"If B fails, then C…Find an alternative host, at least for now."

"Really?" the young man stared.

"Can't keep Fred in a jar forever…" Banner noted. "No, most certainly…There is an expiration date…" Mabuse agreed, giggling again. "Just kidding…" giggle. "But it would not be wise to keep him unembodied for too long."

"But the substitute host? Not Fred Jr., God." Goebbels-Banner noted.

"A possibility, remember it would be the Leader's brain, not that titmouse's…But not Fred Jr."

"Dad?' stunned sound… "You?"

"Hardly." Chuckle… "I'm a target of most international police and US authorities. No, not me…And not you, son…Don't worry there. Though a back-up host has been chosen. But it's best you not know just yet."

"Ok…But please don't let it be that jerk Smirk or lil' Kim that creepy prev…" Goebbels-Banner sighed.

"Just remember…It's for the Good of the Cause, son." Banner nodded.

"Indeed." Mabuse, trying to be solemn, while unable to repress a giggle.

That one is genuine…He thought.

Rory in her business suit outfit, standing in poorly lit square of DC, awaiting the arrival of Morene's promised contact. Lurking, in a manner of speaking, nearby, was Frank, his hoodie pulled over his head, trying to look like a street dweller out for the evening.

Down the street, the unmarked van used by Hocken and Department of President Security agents, now Marjorie and her two agents having joining them. In a somewhat disreputable office building across the street, two more department agents, one the same Jeremy, late lover of Terry Sanchez, and…Urgg…Whomever had been implanted in her skull, eyeing the square from a window.

An irritated Jeremy attempting to brush off the clearly pointed questions of his partner…How was "she"? What was it like? When did you guess or did you really, before she was revealed?

And further down the street, in another building, listening on Sound Blaster and watching, Lorelei "Kilmore" Wilmore/Scarchetti.

Nervous, naturally, for her only child but proud of her little girl's independence and killing skills…

"Hey, lady…" Frank in what he took to be a DC streetwise accent, coming up to and addressing Rory. "Ya got a dollar for a fellow American down on his luck?"

Rory rolling eyes inwardly at Frank's getup and accent… "One sec, sir, let me check…"

"Any sign?" Frank, lowering head, whispered.

"Nope, nothing yet. Here ya go, sir. Good luck." she offered a quarter. "Thanks, toots." Nod.

Toots? Rory blinked as Frank went back to the wall he'd been standing against.

Excellent, Mr. Drebbin…Morene, watching on concealed video cam back in his office.

Perhaps not so as to acting, but you are in the perfect position, he noted to his agent, Hector, just back from burying his colleague, Miranda.

Hope we don't all have those mind-control things in our skulls, Hector sighed. I'd almost rather someone else's brain in here.

"Now…If our special agent will keep her new friends just a bit distracted…Charming young lady, Ms. Wilmore, by the way, isn't she, Hector?"

"Sure, Dr. Morene. But is she really a contract killer?" Hector peered at the screen.

"One of the very best." Morene smiled. "Our Deputy Leader spares no expense. But here she is employing her acting talents rather than her killing skills."

"She's not gonna do anything weird with this Drebbin guy, is she, boss? I hate to see that sort of thing."

"Of course not, Hector…What do you take me for?" Morene frowned slightly at his minion.

Murderer, traitor, mad scientist, Nazi…For starters…

"And now, our agent enters the scene to bring word of my whereabouts…" Morene intoned. As a elderly woman moved into view, dressed as a clueless elderly tourist and looking rather too frail to be out in the wilds of DC at night.

"Excuse me, Miss…" the woman in somewhat pathetic tone. "Could you tell me where the nearest Uber stand is? I've managed to stray a bit from my hotel."

"Oh, which one?" Rory, kind tone.

"The Billington, on Drum St. It was so exciting to be in the capitol of America, I just lost track." Sigh.

Hmmn…Marjorie frowned as she watched on screen from the van…Bit hard to buy that...Out here, at night?

"Be ready to move on my signal…And track the woman if she leaves by herself."

"Right, Director!" one agent noted.

"Quite a thing, Edna." Hocken, on phone off to side. "You should see Frank out there. Really got that urban look for staking out down pat. And this stake out van is top of da line. You should see the minibar they got."

"Down the street to the right, turn left, go about four blocks, you can't miss it." Rory, helpfully.

"Oh, thank you, dear. And, Dr. Morene says hello." The old woman pulling gun and shooting Rory who fell, the woman running off with rather startling speed.

"Whoa…" Hector, watching from Morene's office, impressed.

"Yes, Evelyn was in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics as a female sprinter." Morene noted, nodding. "And buddy, she's still got it." Proud look.

"And good cop that he is, Drebbin is right in pursuit…" smile as they watched Frank chasing after the woman.

Marjorie, Hocken, and the other agents from the van reaching Rory just as Lorelei fired a smoke grenade into the square…Two agents Marjorie had ordered in pursuit of Frank just barely managing to avoid the cloud as Jeremy and his fellow agent emerged from their building, Jeremy calling for the Director.

The two agents following after Frank suddenly halting as they ran into another smoke cloud from the second grenade Lorelei had fired.

"And now, thanks to dear Ernest, my own transplant test success, we cause a bit of trouble for Director Bailey and her friends. Sorry to interfere in your romance, my dear." Morene pressing button on phone.

Jeremy freezing and at Morene's control command pointing gun at the Director. Two agents moving immediately to shield her as he fired.

No one noticing that Rory had slipped away in the smoke cloud, only very slight stung by the close fired blanks.

Meanwhile Frank continued to pursue the old woman down the street from the square, then into an alleyway. She rather easily outdistancing him and reaching a doorway which she entered as he struggled to draw his gun and catch a breath.

"Stop or…" Hmmn, bit too late. He hurried down towards the doorway but halted, looking back for backup.

Hmmn…No one? Well, might be a good idea to…He pulled out his phone with his other hand, a shot driving it from his hand.

"Ow!" Damn…He dropped to the side, raising the gun.

"I would drop your weapon, Mr. Drebbin." A rich, cultured voice from a hidden speaker greeted him. "My agent and receptionist Evelyn is an even better marksperson than she is a sprinter, both of Olympic caliber."

Shot ringing right by Frank's ear…

"That was a warning. The next will be in your leg…" the voice continued. "Come out with your hands raised and drop your weapon. I assure you I can see every move you make."

"Jeremy…" Marjorie kneeling by the wounded, but not fatally, Jeremy, in the square.

"I don't know what happened, Director, I swear." He gasped. "I went totally blank…Did I actually…?"

"Careful, Director." One agent cautioned as she knelt. Hocken now beside her.

"Kid, you just tried to kill the Director and shot one of her people." Ed noted sternly. "And being that transplanted girl's boyfriend."

"I'm not one of their agents, I swear, ma'am!" Jeremy insisted feebly.

"I believe you. But we'll have to get to the bottom of this and you and Hawkins will need immediate medical attention." Marjorie noted.

"Ambulance is on the way, ma'am." A female agent informed her.

"I'd better try and find Frank." Hocken noted. "And that girlie escaped in the cloud. I don't think she was hurt at all."

"A deception…" Marjorie nodded. "Lisa…?" she turned to the female agent. "You and Billings stay with Jeremy and Hawkins, see they get to the hospital. Keep Jeremy under confinement until we know what's happened here. The rest of you with me and Captain Hocken." She rose.

"They were after Frank, you think?" Ed stared at her.

"Yes. But whether for revenge or something else…?" she shook head. "Lets go, we may still be able to save him."

"Probably not revenge, alone…Him not being a bloody heap on the ground here." Ed noted.