"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."
Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.
Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...
Part LII…
Morene, guards to each side, eyeing Frank from his chair behind his desk…
An angry, seated Frank held in check by the display of guns by Morene's guards…
"So…You kept Jane in that coma, with the help of that little son of a Goebbels…"
"Greatgrandson, to be precise. Our dear Deputy Leader, Mr. Banner-Goebbels is the grandson, like me, naturally."
"Naturally's just a fancy word for illegitimate, like both your medical degrees, Doctor."
"Why, you little…Nothing…#$ # cop!" Morene raged.
"As nasty as your dad, though I don't remember much else about him. Except perhaps that he did look pretty suave in his suits, too. Though his offices were a lot more elegant as I recall." Drebbin shrugged. "Must be a comedown after working in the White House."
"If it weren't far more pleasing to enjoy tormenting you a bit longer, I'd kill you right now, you miserable little policeman." Morene eyed him coldly. "But, one must savor one's vengeance. As to my current offices, temporary fortunes of war, my friend. In any case, I will soon rejoin my colleagues to prepare for our greatest triumph, the conquest of America. By its own leadership." Thin smile.
"Hmmpf…The President and her security know all about you, Morene." Frank shrugged in his seat, the guards watching him closely. "You may kill me. You might flee to, where was it?"
"A base, long kept secret, even as long ago as the Third Reich…Which location I am not about to reveal to you, even if you are soon to die, Drebbin. But rest assured, I will escape to watch the downfall of America. A people so weak, so unfit, so stupid, they could twice vote in he who will destroy them. Our glorious Leader…" expansive wave of hands.
"Fred Crumpf?"
"He's our kind of guy…" Morene beamed.
"You do realize he's not exactly partial to re…Native Americans." Frank noted.
"We all grow and transcend our past, Drebbin. And Hitler was happy to welcome the Japanese as allies who'd proven their superiority. Heck, by the end of the war, he was considering the Russians might be the true master race." Morene shrugged. "We of the Fifth Reich can overlook old prejudices to base our superiority on merit and action, my friend."
"And Crumpf lost his second bid…And was about to lose his third."
"But his opponent will soon be replaced, at least in mind and spirit. And Crumpf will reign, elected by the very people who thought they had destroyed him. And, while we may have to act cautiously for a year or two, soon our people will hold all power in the United States government. And Our Leader will be the unchallengeable Master, or Mistress, if you like, of the world. Hitler's dream fulfilled and in a way he would appreciate."
"Hitler wanted to be a woman…A black woman?" Frank stared.
"No, but those are minor points we have outgrown in our philosophy…" wave of hand. "And the truly superior will still rule. No, what he would appreciate is that we destroyed Democracy with democracy as he so often did. You and your foolish nation…All those opposed to Crumpf…Will have destroyed your own democracy." Leer. "It was inevitable such a weak system trumpeting the equality of the weak with the strong should fail but at last we will have achieved it." Grim nod.
"The vengeance of Hitler and of Crumpf on your pitiful nation. The triumph of superior men…And women."
"With men in them…" Frank, blinking at the thought.
"We do have women in our ranks, superior ones. But your President is of course a special case. By the way…" cool smile. "What did you think of my preliminary test subject, Ms. Terry Sanchez? My own achievement, with the voluntary brain donation of one of our top agents. Admirable, don't you think? Our agent in her passed himself off as her for months. No one suspecting until we were ready to utilize her. The proof that we will succeed."
"But we caught her. And they'll catch Crumpf."
"I wouldn't bet on it, Mr. Drebbin. Our plans are well laid. First, her, then her top aides…Then, every senior official in the government. Including your own dear Director Bailey…You know, Frank…" cool smile. "I might very well find it amusing to take her body myself…Unless of course I choose to place say, Evelyn, within her. She would make a very entertaining mistress." Sneer. "Perhaps I could even take her and your dear Jane as lovers. The two women you love, mine. A fitting revenge, don't you…?"
Frank furiously lunging to the side…One of the guards pulling taser, shocking him. Arrrgggghhh…
"A very nice try, Frank…" Morene beamed at Drebbin, now paralyzed on the floor of the office. "But, quite pointless. You, my friend, are a dead man…A pathetic, aging, inferior, dead man, following the worthless rules of a decadent and feeble society. The last of your kind, I should say. And the women you loved, doomed to be hated tools of the New Order for the rest of their lives. Take him. I want him to live to see the beginning of the end of all he cares about." Nodding to the guards…
…
Marjorie, Hocken, and three other agents paused in the last street anyone had seen Frank racing down after the old woman. Two other agents attempting to find a trace of the young woman, Rory, who'd escaped in the aftermath of Lorelei's smoke grenades, while two others searched the building most likely to have been the source of the grenades.
"Not a sign of him…" Ed shook head. "But that old dame was really moving…"
"I never should have agreed to letting him stay out with the girl." Marjorie, downcast. "It was him they were after, clearly."
"Frank?" Ed stared. "Why? Wouldn't it be you or your people they'd want. I mean I love Frank like a brother but he and I are just city detectives. Big city detectives but…"
"Crumpf's people…" Marjorie shook head. "They wanted revenge…Even if they've somehow actually pulled it off and saved him or are under another leader, probably Banner, I should have guessed they'd target Frank as they did in the hospital."
"Yeah, I forgot about that…" Ed sighed. "I guess they did. But Frank's pretty resourceful. He's got out of worse scrapes than this. Even if we don't know exactly what scrapes he's in."
"Bailey here…" Marjorie addressed her phone. "Anything in the building? No signs of where the agent or agents went? All right, get out and join the others in the streets here, we need to find Frank Drebbin."
"The girl must have hooked up with whoever was in that building, firing those grenades." Marjorie sighed. "She was playing us from the start, to distract us."
"But…" she brightened, surprising Ed with a smile. "Alls not lost." She waved over an agent who'd emerged from the unmarked van. "Sinclair…" she addressed Sinclair. "You have something?"
"We're getting a signal, Director." He nodded. Holding up a tablet screen with a map of the local area and a blinking light in one area.
"You put a trace on Frank…" Ed beamed at her. She grinning back.
"But they are sure to be expectin' that?" he eyed her.
"This one is one of our best…" She noted. "Woven into each of the hoodies we put on."
"Nice…" Ed nodded.
"But they may detect the signal, even though it's very low power. Or take him out of range soon." She noted. "So lets hurry."
…
Lorelei already having slipped out and rejoined her daughter several blocks away before they'd headed out in a stolen car…
"I feel a little bad about Lieutenant Drebbin…" Lorelei sighing as they headed off into downtown DC traffic, then the Beltway. "He was speaking up for keeping you safe."
"I know, a real shame…" Rory noted. "But at least we didn't have to kill him. And we got paid for it. Kinda nice to earn my keep with acting."
"Could be a whole new career when you finish Yale, though I'm still hopin' you'll keep up with the journalism idea. That always seemed the right field for you…And you could still do the occasional hit." Lorelei beamed.
"Yeah, a real win-win… Well, I trust our clients were satisfied. We took out the doctors and led the famed Officer Drebbin to his doom. And at some risk, I might note…." Rory nodded as they drove.
Thank God this time of night traffic's not so bad on the Beltway…Lorelei eyed the cars.
"I'd say we really earned our pay on this one." Rory noted.
"A job well done. A good day's pay for a good day's work. Papa Scarchetti would be pleased." Lorelei smiled.
…
