Chapter 22: And ye plot moveth forwaredethethetheth
I don't own Highschool DxD, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new abilities in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.
o. o. o.
The annoying scent of antiseptic roused him from his rest. Unfortunately it did little to alleviate the aching that wracked his entire being.
"Oh? It appears the champion is about to come to finally."
Regretfully, this voice brought him to consciousness faster than the chemicals did.
"It's too much to hope that security isn't here to escort you out, isn't it?" Riser hissed as he slowly picked himself up from the hospital bed and blearily opened his eyes to glare at his guest.
At one point in his life, he would have been ecstatic to see Carnelian first thing after waking up, but now…
Resting against the windowsill in a professional silver and vermillion business dress with a low cut top and short pencil skirt, complete with fashionable square lens glasses, Carnelian Bael smiled almost predatorily at her old "friend".
"Come now Riser. You knew we would be having this conversation after your tete a tete with my sweet cousin. Though even I didn't suspect that she'd put up such an admirable fight. The gossip circles among our peers are going absolutely mad right now with the show you've given everyone."
It took a few seconds for her words to register with him before he let out a tired groan and inelegantly dropped his head back onto his bed. "… Wonderful." He all but spat out, ignoring the hungry and amused glint in her eyes.
"I mean it Riser. Between how embarrassingly you and your peerage underestimated Rias, to how surprisingly over competent and able hers was, to that magnificent use of Carousel during their fight against you, and the way you tied it up in that wonderfully unexpected show of pure power. People are going to be talking and watching this fight on replay for months." The cruel thing was that she sounded genuinely happy for him saying all this.
It roiled his stomach something fierce.
"Why, even I didn't know you were capable of that level of power and showmanship at the end. You've been holding out on me."
And now he felt genuinely nauseous.
"Riser believes that you have long since made it acceptable to hold secrets from others." He gave her a cold glare, daring her to push the issue.
He knew she could though. She wasn't obnoxious like Issei, but her curiosity was a nasty beast all the same. Something they hadn't discovered until it was too late.
Fortunately, his words seemed to fall on thick skin this time, and she didn't rise to the bait. "I suppose you're entitled to that much. Everyone does need to have their own card to play at times. I'm just surprised that yours was as impressive as it was. A pity I'll have to let it go soon."
"If your vexing "gift" had distracted and annoyed Riser more during the fight, you wouldn't have." The Phoenex grunted.
"Oh?" She looked both amused and surprised. "You must have been under quite the stress. It was only supposed to trigger if you were in a particularly bad spot."
There countless implications and ways to interpret her admission, and none of them enthralled him in the slightest.
His scowl deepened. "It was speaking like Issei."
That momentarily caused the young woman to hold her tongue.
"You had your fun. Get rid of it. Now." Riser knew their pecking order. He knew where he stood. But he also knew that there were some lines even Carnelian still, somehow, wouldn't cross. Not willingly at least.
"Someone's cranky." Her mocking tone and comments didn't meet her eyes, as she shifted her glasses slightly and a slight bump in demonic energy surged through the room. And nothing else. "You would think you would be in more of a festive mood after your victory."
"Do take care of your language." He scoffed mockingly. "We both know what usually happens when such vile words leave your mouth."
That managed to wipe the smirk from her face, much to his bitter satisfaction.
"They actually got to you, didn't they? You're normally not this, unrestrained, when talking to me." She looked at him with mixed curiosity and irritation.
"Riser was humiliated and exposed in front of my peers by someone that everyone deemed beneath me in power, skill, experience and ability. With Issei's tactics no less. And Riser is without doubt going to be reminded of it perpetually for an insufferable duration of time." He scowled. Looking at his wrapped chest, he could still feel the sensations of being stabbed and electrocuted over and over again.
Carnelian shifted her glasses, causing them to reflect some light in the room to hide her eyes. "I saw, and as embarrassing as it was, Rias and peerage vastly outperformed everyone's expectations in spite of your overconfidence. So much so that it has ironically managed to offset some of the damage to your reputation. Sirzechs must have put himself in quite the debt to get Jasmine and Vali to give him the time of day. Though they would have probably given him a slight discount when they were told what their services were for."
Riser looked at her skeptically. "So they were the ones that taught Rias then? Riser had suspicions, but…"
"My sources informed me that they had been seen in her territory just before the games were officially announced three weeks ago. Despite our past, I do try to keep tabs on them every now and then." Carnelian shrugged carelessly. "It's difficult to imagine what other reason they might have to be there. Kuoh is a bit out of the way for anyone to visit under conventional circumstances. Devil or human."
Riser clicked his tongue. Of course those two were there. The only other people that knew Issei well enough to teach Rias his personal tricks were either in this room, officially enemies of Devils in general, or Kuroka. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if that unpredictable stray was involved in this mess somehow too.
"Did you check Rias' peerage for drugs?" He asked warily. Jasmine was known to push the limits of ethics, or completely ignore them for that matter, if she was sufficiently motivated to a cause. More so if it involved people she didn't particularly care about.
"Your dear bride to be and her peerage all clean. Thankfully. I doubt that our dear Lucifer would have been thrilled to see his sister become a junkie. Or associated with one for that matter." Carnelian examined her nails as though they were more interesting than the conversation before pausing and reaching into her pocket. "Speaking of which…"
She walked over casually and placed a small vial of a turquoise substance on the stand next to his bed.
Riser's eyes widened and his pupils dilated. He had expected Carnelian to pull something on him the moment he saw her after waking up, but this was far beyond even his predictions. "… If this is your idea of a sick joke…"
"It's not." She shook her head. "I still haven't made a reliable imitation, even after all this time with the resources at my disposal. Jasmine and Issei truly were geniuses beyond the norm. What you're looking at is from the original stock. What's left of it anyways."
There was a multitude of subdued emotions in her words. Frustration. Lamentation. Annoyance. Regret. Resignation. Bitter amusement. All directed in a target that was clearly not part of the conversation. It painted a peculiar picture that left much to interpretation unless one knew her exact circumstances.
Not that anyone noticed.
Riser didn't trust himself to breathe, much less move. The very thing that had caused so much turmoil in the Devil world, in his life, was sitting right in front of him.
"It's a single dose, as you can see." Carnelian went on. "I may be cruel, but I'm not blind Riser. Nor am I ungrateful for your patience. Call it a petty compensation. Call it a pathetic attempt to balance things. Call it a surprise bonus. Call it whatever you wish. It's yours. And Rias'."
He clenched his teeth hard enough that if one did chip, he wouldn't have been able to tell.
"You will leave. You will fulfil your end of the bargain. And after this farce is settled, you will never talk to me again." He ground out, shaking in pure rage while never taking his eyes off of the cursed vial.
For the briefest of moments, there was a hint of pain in her eyes. And the next, it was smothered by the familiar apathy that was almost perpetually there. "Fair enough. I had anticipated as much. I'll have everything in order once your engagement with Rias is finalized and officially ratified. I know we originally planned for it to happen soon after the rating game, however it is clear that neither you nor my cousin are in a condition to physically handle the festivities."
Normally, most wounds and injuries from Rating Games could be addressed quickly with the correct medical facilities and magic, but both Rias and Riser had outperformed everyone's expectations in the best and worst ways.
"How long?" He asked, his fury slowly dimming down into a cold seethe.
"At least a week." Carnelian crossed her arms, never looking away from her former friend. "The doctors were having a field day with you for a while. It's not often that someone gets to treat a Phoenix for severe burn injuries after all. Inside or out. However your impressive display did a number on Rias and her peerage as well. It's going to take them that long to be presentable for a public appearance."
A week huh? Great more time to stew in self-loathing before making things worse.
"Riser shall start with the arrangements to change the date and inform the venue then." It was something that they both had prepared ahead of time in order to get the engagement officially set in stone as soon as possible. It was one thing to just claim they were engaged. It was another to set up a lavish party to declare its finality to the bulk of Devil aristocracy. You couldn't take back something done that way without some pretty heavy repercussions.
"I'm already ahead of you. Another free favor to take the load off. Compensation for how much unexpected trouble Rias gave you."
Riser finally tore his gaze away from the vial to look at her warily. "Sirzechs made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want you involved with anything regarding his sister. The engagement is already pushing his limits."
A faint smile made its way onto her face. "Come now. How long have you known me? Anonymously helping to prepare a party is not exactly difficult, Riser. I'm far from the only noble that can pull something simple like that off."
Noble? Hah. She might have used it in jest, but he could still hear the loathing hidden in it.
"Then you have my thanks. Now please leave the plans and arrangements with my peerage when you leave."
The faint smile died off as quickly as it came. Knowing she was reaching the limits of his patience, she pushed herself off of the wall she was leaning against and made her way to the door. "For what it's worth, I do wish you the best Riser."
"You're half a decade too late to have the right to say anything like that." He coldly rejected her good will.
"I suppose. But I still mean it." She didn't look at him as she exited the room, revealing her pawn waiting for her on the other side facing away from the entrance. An unassuming and unremarkable man with slick back hair and glasses in a suit. Professional, but mundane.
Another person Riser wished he could have gone for centuries without seeing.
Fortunately, no more words were exchanged as the pair left.
"Brother!"
And immediately gave way to Ravel and Yuballuna.
Relief and pain filled his already aching chest.
"Riser wonders how you two knew he had woken up. But Riser won't complain." He pushed a smile as he hugged his sister.
"We didn't." His Queen's smile was just as forced. "We made it a point to be on standby whenever that woman was around. Just in case."
He felt slightly more relieved hearing that. "Truly, Riser is spoiled beyond words."
"Of course you are." Ravel laughed, albeit not enough to hide her fear. "Did anything happen?"
"Nothing of particular worth." He blew away her concerns with false confidence and bravado he had long been accustomed to. "The woman just wanted to remind Riser of his position and arrangement. She claims she's even started to assist in rescheduling the engagement party."
Both Bishop and Queen grimaced. "We heard. Hopefully you can take over for that quickly."
"Of course. Everyone knows that few are able to host festivities better than your King." Riser scoffed, further lightening the mood. His playboy image was something he had worked hard to build up over the past few years. Especially after the disaster with Issei.
"You're such a blowhard." Ravel hugged her brother tightly, and to his credit, Riser managed to barely hold back his grunt of pain from having his internal burns being agitated. "You stupid idiot brother."
"Riser doesn't know what you're talking about. Riser is simply trying to mitigate the damages from his past foolishness." He tried to alleviate his sister's concerns, poorly as he felt his insides thrash about wildly from the hug. "Ravel should not have been involved in this nonsense to begin with."
"None of us should have. It's all that woman's fault." She buried her face into his chest. "If it wasn't for her, none of this would have happened."
"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gotten involved." He repeated the same argument he had given his dear sister for the past five years. To turn his pathetic desires into the chains to all but ensnare his sister, Carnelian's ability to twist a situation to suit her desires was something truly terrifying and sickening to experience.
"Speaking of that unpleasant witch, did she do or say anything to you?" Yuballuna asked warily. "You have been hiding the full scope of your strength all this time. As embarrassing as the Rating Game was, your display at the end won't be ignored. You're more valuable now. Maybe too valuable to let go. Your parents have already been pushing me for questions we don't want answered and more are sure to follow soon."
Ugh. And wasn't that a conversation he was eager to get to? Living up to the family name and standards was one thing, but outright revealing to the world that he had a toe or two in the pool of Ultimate Class monsters was another thing entirely.
He was not one to shy from attention, but there was such a thing as bad attention. He had been playing it safe for years for a damn good reason.
And speaking of unwanted attention…
"What of the Maou?" He steered the conversation to a more concerning topic. One significantly more lethal and painful if approached poorly.
"Silent. For now." His Queen reported. "For how long, I don't know, but we can expect word from Sirzechs soon. If anything, then help manage the engagement party."
"Humph. If that is all he desires to do, Riser will be astonished." There had to be more. The Maou Lucifer had gone out of his way to not only facilitate the Rating game, but grab Vali and Jasmine from who knows where to train Rias and her peerage to grant them a shot at winning.
And it damn near worked too. Hell, for all he knew, Rias' entire peerage had been arranged with this in mind. If the engagement had not been rushed, who knows how many exceptional and unique individuals would have joined her side?
"We're in the process of gathering data about Gremory's Peerage as we speak." Ravel reported as she finally let go of her brother. "Fluke or not, the fact that they had the skillsets and abilities needed to take down all of us and make you fight seriously can't be ignored. We're not the only ones doing some digging either."
Yuballuna grimaced. "Actually, about that. I managed to get a hold of some information about her Rook just a few hours ago, and, you're not going to like it."
"The Rook? The white waif?" He frowned in confusion. Out of all of Rias' peerage, that one had been the least notable of the lot. "What is so peculiar about her?"
His queen took out some papers, clearly on guard about something. "Her current name is Koneko Toujou, but, her original name was Shirone. And she's a Nekoshou."
Riser froze halfway towards reaching for the documentation.
Nekoshou. Shirone. It took him less than a second to make the connection.
It took him three to realize what it would entail.
"You can't possibly mean. She's…"
"Yeah. It's her." Yuballuna reluctantly admitted.
"…" Riser blankly stared at the pair, what life he had slowly draining out of him. "Yuballuna, please triple Riser's security for the foreseeable future."
"Already put in the request before I came here."
"Thank you."
He hadn't just torched his fiancée. And her peerage.
He had torched Kuroka's little sister.
The most infamous stray Devil known to the current Devil population, and a woman whose eccentricity and impulsiveness was comparable to Issei. Kuroka's infamous sister complex was legendary, and she was the ONLY person that she valued more than Issei. And Kuroka adored Issei.
Sirzechs was a greater bastard than he had thought. In achieving victory, Riser had effectively placed a noose around his neck.
The way things were going, he was near guaranteed to die in the near future. The only real question at this point would be who pulled it off first and how fast they'd make it.
o. o. o.
Under any other circumstance, Sona would have been thrilled to be the one responsible for putting Issei down a peg or two. To kill the infuriating eccentricity in him enough to see the fire die in his eyes and stand above him as his superior. To make him finally shut up.
But not like this. Not when the news killed her on the inside as much as it did him.
"Sona-sama?" Tsubaki asked with only the barest hint of concern as they stopped in front of his front door. Her attentive Queen had noticed the trepidation in her body language.
"It's nothing." She let out a slow breath and knocked on the door. Despite being in this position at least half a dozen times already, she could never get used to approaching Issei's home. Before or after figuring out who he was, it didn't matter. She always felt like she was entering the den of a monster as she got closer. "Let's get this over with."
It didn't take long for Issei's mother to answer the door. The moment she saw them she knew that it wasn't good news and went to get her son.
"Hi Sona-san! Tsubaki-san!" Asia approached the Devils in Japanese while Asami was upstairs. "How are you?"
Apparently the entrance to the den of a monster was guarded by a perpetually happy puppy now.
"We're well. Thank you Asia-san. Your Japanese is improving." Tsubaki replied, making an effort to tweak her magic so that what she was speaking was heard as her home language and not immediately translated into Italian for the nun.
"Issei-san has been helping me since he came back. He's a really good teacher. Asami-san is too." The blonde smiled so innocently that it almost hurt looking at her.
"So I've been told and seen." Tsubaki wasn't lying or patronizing her in the slightest. She had seen Rias' battle in the Rating Game against Riser, and she knew that Issei was responsible for the peerage's development. There wasn't a person that saw it that could deny those results.
Hell, now that she paid closer attention, Tsubaki noticed that Asia's Japanese was developing at an unusually fast pace for someone still fresh to the country. The girl's accent wasn't nearly as thick as most foreigners' either.
"You're improving quickly. It's very impressive. You might be fast enough to join Kuoh this year if you keep this up." Sona smiled, though it didn't meet her eyes.
"Really!?" Asia lit up like Christmas had come early.
"Yes, though it would have to be after midterms at the earliest. It wouldn't be good for your education if you showed up in the middle of the lesson schedule." The Student Council President lectured, completely dedicated to playing her role to the fullest. "Getting you registered and in the school is easy enough, but I refuse to halfheartedly introduce someone that is unable to keep up with their peers."
"Yes! Understood! I won't let you down!" The nun saluted, taking Sona's expectations far more seriously than she should have.
Truly the innocent girl was too good for them all. A gem wasted on the Church. And Issei for that matter.
"Geez. Tone it down will you?" Raynare yawned as she came down the stairs a mess as though she just woke up, dressed in pajamas and a loose tshirt with no bra if the shape of her breasts were any indication. "If you make the idiot puppy any perkier her tits are going to tear apart her clothes."
"Huh?" Asia blinked in confusion. "What do you mean by that? What does 'perky' mean?"
"Don't mind her. She's just being crude, like usual." Tsubaki dismissed Raynare without a second thought.
"Don't tell me you're actually calling her that ridiculous nickname now too." Sona deadpanned.
"Might as well. She's practically the house pet as it is. Everyone here's teaching her tricks. Sit. Stay. Speak. We should have "roll over" down by the end of it if the perv's luck is consistent." The Fallen emotionlessly walked past them to the kitchen.
Funny enough, that last one was Asami's idea. Let it be known that the woman was not above playing on her son's eccentricities and paranoia for her own personal amusement on occasion.
That said, it was universally agreed upon to skip teaching her how to "play dead" for obvious reasons.
"Pity you don't show as much enthusiasm." Sona muttered as Raynare made the final stretch of her short trip, the latter flipping the former off halfheartedly in response…
Though she trailed off as she watched the Fallen's ass in the process. Not out of a perverted sense, but out of curiosity. She hadn't noticed it initially, but the way Raynare walked seemed different somehow. Stronger, more confident and alluring, but not completely in a sexual way.
She only then remembered that the annoyance had also joined Rias and her Peerage over the past few weeks for training. Somehow, she doubted that the black feathered woman had spent the time being unproductive. Willingly or not.
Oh. And she looked like she lost some weight too.
"Sona-sama?" Tsubaki glanced at her King confused.
"It's nothing." She instinctively replied, snapped out of her musings. It wasn't any of her business what Raynare did or how strong she was. Not so long as she played her role at least.
She turned back to Asia. "Has there been any trouble lately? I know my Peerage has been guarding you, but I just want to make sure."
"No. Everything's fine." The blonde tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Everyone's been really nice to me, and I've spent most of my time here learning Japanese so I won't trouble anyone. Asami-san has even been taking me out to her favorite spa on Thursdays. It's been a bit louder since Issei-san and Raynare-san came back, but that's normal."
"Good. That's good. I'm glad to hear that." At least this was going for them.
"Oi Enabler. Hands off the Ninja Puppy you degenerate. That one's too volatile for someone like you to work on. You'd destroy half the town if you're careless with her." And like that the disaster of the hour had appeared coming down the stairs.
"Hyoudou-san." Tsubaki bowed politely, somewhat used to his nonsense by now.
"Truly, your mind is a place that only the fearless and hopelessly unconcerned could ever venture and hope to return intact." Sona deadpanned. How on earth Issei believed the sheltered girl in front of him could "destroy half the town" was something she truly feared ever learning, if only for her sanity's sake.
"Um. I've been there before." Asia raised her hand confused.
"HA!" Raynare laughed obnoxiously from the kitchen.
"I hate all of you." Both Issei and Sona both drawled in perfect harmony before twitching at the realization at what the other just did. "I don't want to hear that from you. Stop that! You're making it worse! For the love of sanity we're still doing it! You of all people have no right to talk about sanity! ME?! You're the degenerate! Do you have any idea how twisted you make the world around you?!"
Tsubaki watched, not sure whether to be concerned, surprised, or galled by how the pair were arguing with one another at the exact same time with the same words.
Asia was simply impressed if her sparkling eyes was a giveaway.
Raynare was simply howling with laughter in the other room.
Flash.
"So adorable." Asami stage whispered as she held up her phone.
"Mom!/Asami-san!"
"Damn. I broke the streak." The woman shamelessly clicked her tongue in disappointment while Asia gave them an applause.
"I regret every time I enter this place." Sona grumbled as she sat back down.
"Stop saying things I agree with." Issei shared her feelings as he sat as well.
"Shut up and fuck already!" Raynare graced them with her advice from a safe distance.
"The hell I will!" Both teens blasted back again in perfect harmony before realizing what they were doing and stared at one another in horror. "Damn it! Not this nonsense again! You! Stop talking! Me? Why should I?!"
Tsubaki was glad the rest of the peerage wasn't here to see this. Sona wouldn't be able to look them in the eye for days if they witnessed this disaster.
"One way or another, this will get online." Asami held up her phone again with stars in her eyes.
Just as the pair were about to move on from literally staring lightning bolts at one another like they were part of some shonen anime, someone knocked on the door.
Issei's sour mood instantly grew bitterer as he eyed the door. "So the plot's finally showed up. Of course they came now."
"What are you talking about?" Sona was confused. There weren't many people that came to this house outside of the supernatural, and Rias' group wasn't present.
"The Weeb lost." Issei made his way to answer the door, his tone irritable, but somehow difficult to read otherwise.
She stilled, as did Tsubaki. "How did-"
"It's been almost three days. She would have been back gloating by now if she won. You looking like shit was just confirmation." He cut her off dryly as he opened the door.
On the other side were a maid and a middle aged looking fallen glaring daggers at one another, looking ready to fight.
"Inside." He didn't even try to look surprised or confused at their sudden visit.
"Issei-" Azazel started with concern in his voice.
"Snowball's starting shit. Again. Zech's is desperate. Again. And you are trying to keep me out of the loop so I don't go ballistic. Again." The teen cut him off with a dry and scathing tone before turning around and leaving the door open. "Inside."
"Pardon the intrusion." Grayfia politely bowed as she followed without any trepidation.
The leader of the Grigori scratched the back of his head in frustration. "Forgot how quick on the uptake you were. That's on me I guess."
"G-Grayfia-sama? Azazel-sama?!" Sona stammered in alarm as she stood up straight at attention. "What are you two doing here?"
The sound of something falling to the ground came from the kitchen. "A-Azazel-sama?! Here?!"
"Azazel? Grayfia?" Asami was no less surprised by the pair's appearance.
"They're likely about to let me know how my remaining peace of mind is about to get shafted. Raw and with studs." Issei grunted as he sat back down on a chair. "Oi Cougar! Run interference so Zaz won't go after mom will you?"
"Is that really necessary?" The leader of the Fallen sighed as he took his place on the same couch as Grayfia.
"You literally get turned on by playing and interacting with the forbidden. Be it Sacred Gear research, married women, or widows. You never bothered to hide your kinks from Vali or me back in college." Issei deadpanned.
"College?" Sona blinked, still clearly trying to make sense of what was going on.
Grayfia emotionlessly edged away from Azazel.
"Oh come on, you know I'm not dumb enough to go after you." The outed Fallen huffed, not at all denying Issei's accusation.
"Some of the banter we have exchanged during the war proves otherwise."
"That's a paper thin shield you're hiding behind at best and you know it woman."
Raynare didn't hear the conversation, frozen by the kitchen door with a dazed look in her eyes. "Ah. Azazel-sama likes married women? Is that why he never looked at me all this time?"
"So then." Issei's annoyed voice cut through the room. "What are you on now? Plan B? C? Weeb's attempt to not get roped into things was clearly something we all hoped for."
Both high level entities shifted slightly. "If we're going chronologically, we're somewhere around Plan G actually. Believe it or not, we have been putting in quite a bit of effort to prevent things from getting this bad." Azazel relented before glaring at Grayfia. "And truth be told, Beelzebub had put in an effort to scrap THIS particular idea after he saw how rattled you still are. Something that I still intend to support."
"Progress." The fact that both Devil and Fallen genuinely flinched at the lone dry word underscored just how bad they had screwed up before.
Grayfia cleared her throat. "Your cooperation or not, at the very least, you deserve to be aware of what exactly is going on at this point."
"That's the excuse you're going with?" Azazel snorted sarcastically.
With all the grace and elegance of a proper maid, she took out a letter from her clothes and held it out to the teen with both hands and her head down in a proper bow.
For the briefest of moments, it looked like Issei was seriously debating whether or not to take the parcel at all. Judging from its square-ish shape, the flowery writing on the front, and the wax seal on the back, the letter was more then likely a formal invitation than some random document.
"Issei…" Asami spoke up, worried. She didn't like where this was going. She hadn't felt like this in years.
"The last time we stuck our heads in the ground when the world was falling apart, we almost lost them." With a cold growl, he grabbed the document and opened it unceremoniously.
The room was oddly quiet as he eyed the folded up parcel inside, with the words "You are invited" written in flowery red ink on the front.
And then he opened it.
He read the invitation.
His eyes dilated.
He breathed in deeply.
He closed his eyes.
He breathed out slowly.
He opened his eyes.
The cycle repeated three times before…
"So that's what's going on. No wonder you were all pussyfooting around this nightmare." With a bitter laugh Issei calmly and far too slowly put the paper down in front of him. It was as if he moved any faster he would lose any self-control he had and do something he would regret.
No wonder Weeb lost. She and the others would have needed at least three months of constant work to have a hope of winning if Bird Person was serious. Not three weeks. Six months if they wanted an actual notable shot of victory.
At least, if this was the Bird Person of five years ago.
He didn't want to look at the invitation to Rias' and Riser's engagement party anymore either. He might set the damn thing on fire if he did.
"Is something wrong?" Asia asked confused.
"Librarian. Get the Puppy out of here for a bit, will you?" Issei didn't bother looking at Tsubaki.
"But-"
"Do as he says Tsubaki." Sona ordered firmly. She did not want herself or her Peerage to be the ones responsible for things going downhill if it came to that. The fact that Issei was actually thinking of who to include in the conversation alone was a huge red flag. Judging from how everyone else was reacting, she wasn't the only one that recognized this.
"… Of course." The Queen reluctantly obeyed before turning to Asia. "Come Argento-san. This conversation is going to be a bit much for you. Let's practice what you know outside."
"O-okay." The Nun nervously looked around before following, clearly aware that something serious was up.
Nobody missed the look of concern she gave Issei before leaving the house.
"I take it Cleria Belial wasn't swapped out of Kuoh due to natural reasons then." Issei evenly deduced, causing Sona to go rigid in alarm.
"From what we could gather, she was removed due to certain associations that were discovered three years ago. How that came to be on the other hand, is currently not under scrutiny." Grayfia stated diplomatically.
Three years. That's how long Carnelian knew he was there. That's how long she had to plan.
"Bird Person started pushing for this bad joke shortly after Weeb and Enabler got the prize?"
"Bird Person?" Sona echoed, surprised that Issei clearly knew who Riser was.
"Yes. Sirzechs-sama and Zeoticus-sama both protested and fought against it knowing how poorly Rias-sama reacted to the news, however the Phoenix family was adamant, and supported in negotiations."
"Of course they were." Issei shook his head in irritation. "This is a fucking trap and you know it."
"You, me, and everyone else with a functioning brain." Azazel huffed. "Even if nothing was planned, the revelation that you're still alive would cause all sorts of chaos in the underworld. With that bitch planning ahead of time, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't scheming upending the power balance of Devil aristocracy itself. You know that girl doesn't do things by halves."
"The spell that the Grigori set up that hides the bulk of my existence from the bulk of the world wouldn't be able to handle that sort of pressure. Snowball's probably banking on that too as a bonus." Issei scratched the back of his head in annoyance.
"Spell?" Sona frowned in confusion, mentally tucking away the nickname "Snowball" in the process. "What are you talking about?"
"It's an ambiguous thing. A wide scale partial mind wipe designed to help people hide long term. Something the Grigori use when we need to hide details on events that are too big to erase from history, but are too volatile to leave as is." Azazel elaborated. "Things like the appearance and participation of the occasional Devil or Angel fighting on the front line in major human wars, or shrouding the deaths of key individuals in history. Protective service operations and the like. It does its job well, but it is prone to failing if too many people know and dwell upon these hidden details at once. It's hard to normally pull something like that off though, since said details are a pain for normal people to think of clearly if they aren't already intimately in the know or keyed into the array. Even if we told you the exact details now, the information would literally just flow out your mind within a few seconds."
Sona opened her mouth for more details before a nagging thought caught her attention.
What did she remember about the Sekiryuutei's attack five years ago?
She remembered there was fire. The deaths. The hate against the monster. The uprising of the Dragons…
But there was a severe void where the details should have been. There felt like there should have been some sort of buildup to it. That there was more to the story that she should have known. But instead, there was nothing but an indistinct haze that was easily overlooked had she not known what to look for in the first place.
She began to sweat as her mind ran into overdrive. How often had this happened? How much of her mind had been tampered with? Could this be done by anyone?
o. o. o.
Just outside the building, Asia and Tsubaki were standing just outside the door listening in on everything.
"I really don't think we should be here listening to this." The Queen nervously looked around.
"It's fine. So long as we don't do anything bad or tell anyone, nobody will be mad." Asia surprisingly comforted her.
"Are you sure you are a Nun? This is rather underhanded coming from you." Tsubaki whispered.
"I've been practicing. Issei-san calls me a ninja, and ninjas are supposed to be sneaky, right?" The adorable girl smiled proudly. "Plus, it's really fun. I've never been allowed to move around so freely like this before at the Church. Being able to explore and learn like this, is really exhilarating and enjoyable. You'd be astounded by what you can learn from people when you can hide really well."
Tsubaki was taken aback by how brilliantly happy and optimistic Asia was and how her eyes were shimmering. "… Old devils and ancients save us, you really are a Ninja Puppy."
"Shhh. They're starting to talk again." The human girl chided the Devil having a minor reality crisis softly, and focused on what was going on in the house again. If she was ever going to be of help to Issei and pay him back for all he's done for her, she was going to need to know and learn as much as possible.
As much as possible.
o. o. o.
Nobody noticed Issei visibly shudder for no apparent reason, as they were all too busy being distracted by Sona's looming breakdown.
Azazel smirked as he watched Sona slowly start to panic. "Easy there Sitri. Don't bother trying to fight it. Bug your sister later if you want your head cleared up. If it makes you feel any better, we only use this trick on VIP's and high priority customers. It's not something we bust out every day."
"The only thing that makes the Enabler feel better is the degeneracy and misery she causes others." Issei absently muttered.
"I don't want to hear that from you!" Sona's kneejerk reaction caused a few to smile faintly.
"If I show up, I'm screwed." Issei summed up the situation aptly, already ignoring her. "And if I don't, I'm probably screwed anyways because Snowball will just barge into Kuoh and "conveniently" fill in Weeb's role as supervisor."
"We're already taking steps to stop that from happening if it does come down to that." Azazel cut in. "Let's just say that she's going to be a bit busy to manage human territory for a while."
That was putting it mildly. Jasmine had outdone herself. Vastly more potent variants of the green drug had been making waves around the market recently, and several dispensers of it had been "conveniently" been linked back to buildings owned by the Ars Nova organization that Carnelian ran. Complete with resources and equipment needed to make said drugs.
One site even had instructions in full view on how to make the reviled compounds.
Imagine that.
Throw in several order slips that listed the facilities constantly ordering large quantities of the ingredients needed to make the drugs, which conveniently didn't have to be fabricated in the slightest, and a whole new disaster of the political sort was brewed to promising results.
Of course, it wasn't enough to put the woman away or even come close to ruin her. But it was enough to give her a headache and distract her for some time.
"And when she's done she'll just come back and shaft whoever's next on the list. You know how this goes." Issei all but growled dangerously. "I'm not going to sit doing nothing with my thumb up my ass again while everything around me burns. It didn't work then, and it won't work now."
"Easy. We're not saying you should. It didn't end well for us then either if you remember." Azazel grimaced, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Then what was your plan in case I had to be paraded about like some domesticated bitch? You've already proven how far your words go when the cards are down." Not good. The temperature in the room was starting to rise in a very unfriendly way.
Azazel and Grayfia glanced at one another warily before the latter broke the silence. "Tiamat."
Sona's eyes went wide. "Tiamat?"
"That woman? Again?" Asami growled.
Issei stilled and his face went pale. He had instantly switched from "fight" to "flight" mode. "Please tell me you're joking."
"Believe it or not, most people are actually more terrified of her than you are, kid." No matter how many times he saw it, watching Issei freak out whenever the Dragon King was mentioned always amused him. "Like we said before, we haven't spent the past few years playing catch up and on the defensive. Tiamat's been a secret play of ours in the making since everything started to remotely calm down."
"I seriously can't tell who is trying to fuck me over harder right now."
"For what it's worth given the circumstances and context, neither can we." Azael chuckled.
"Tiamat-sama is the speaker of the bulk of the independent dragons that remain in the world. Given your relationship with her and them by extension, you can surmise the potential that having her acknowledged on our side can do." Grayfia pointedly reminded him.
"I know what having Tia in on this will mean, but…" Issei faltered and looked away nervously, shifting uncomfortably. "You know how she gets when she's around me."
"It's kind of hard to forget." Azazel chuckled, only to get hit upside the head by Asami. "Hey!"
"You might find that woman amusing, but I still recall her trying to barge her way through my home and trying to take my son while we were having dinner." The mother was clearly unamused.
"Sorry. Sorry." He grumbled, rubbing where he was hit. "Like we said, we've been working with her behind the scenes for a while. She still doesn't like us, understandably, but at the very least she's willing to go along with the plan if it's to help you Issei. Enough to actually work to control her temper so she won't jump you like she normally does. Say what you want, but you can't deny she's on your side."
Issei merely let out a frustrated grunt and avoided looking at anyone. Clearly he had personal reservations about the idea, but he for once didn't voice them. "… You sure she's not going to go nuts on me like usual?"
"She's willing to swear on her title as King if needed." Grayfia allowed herself to smile slightly.
"What kind of twisted world are we in where that jackass is worried about someone going crazy on him?" Raynare whispered to Asami.
"The dragon kind." She whispered back, completely glazing over the fact that her son was being insulted in the question.
"Kid. You do understand what this means, right?" Azazel's face grew stern. "Tiamat's not doing this for us. She's doing it for you. When someone aims for Sirzechs or me, they can't think of the retaliation of a person, but of an entire faction."
The teen's hands clenched into fists. This, was exactly what he didn't want. The more people he was responsible for, the more people would be hurt because of him. Even the idea of being powerful attracted unwanted attention. It was this sort of bullshit that made him despise the very premise of the concept in the first place.
All he ever wanted was-
He flinched, as if the jagged remains of something had stabbed him in the brain.
No. Don't think that way. It was because he acted selfishly like that that things went to hell. He… he had to do things differently this time. If only to prevent everyone from getting hurt because of him.
Again.
"Hah. Fine. If she's that committed, I'll give her a shot." Issei sighed, ignoring the side commentary and the surprised looks he got from everyone else.
Azazel and Grayfia glanced at one another warily. Clearly they had expected more pushback.
The teen sagged in his seat and closed his eyes in thought. "Let me guess how this was supposed to originally play out. I learn to play nice with Weeb and Enabler for a year, no, for the school year. Long enough for Weeb to graduate and on the cusp of when she was originally supposed to marry Bird Person. Long enough that I could train her and her peerage to have a genuine shot of beating him instead of the frantic hail mary that just failed. Around then, we drop the fact that, "Oh hey! I'm alive after all!" With all the bells and whistles that come with it. Tia comes in around then and shouts to everyone and their mothers that the Dragons are on my side. We build a rapport, and then some kind of announcement is made in order to gain support for the Maou. Throw in the Fallen's and Heaven's support around that time for a good one two punch to build up extra momentum. And then the absurd political clout gained will enable you to start fighting back against some of Snowball's bullshit, and at least stay her hand. That sound about right?"
"Well, throw in a few steps here and there, but yeah, that was the general mid-term plan. Jas and Vali had their own roles to play, as you can guess." Azazel couldn't help but smile. It was always an experience whenever Issei's mind started to put things together for you like this.
There were still a few uncommitted ears about. No need to bring up Ophis and the Khaos Brigade just yet.
"I can." Issei leaned back, tapping a finger on his lap. "Snowball didn't have Bird Person rush things out of impatience. Simply finalizing the engagement to Weeb would have been enough if time wasn't a factor. It's not like her. She likes to chain her moves. She did it to run interference. She has her own plans…!"
His eyes snapped open and he shivered visibly. "She's going to show up at the party. She's waiting for me there. She wants me to be there. There's no way she would pass up an opportunity to get close to me again with minimal interference. She's going to use me being exposed to do something that'll make things worse."
Sona had seen many sides of Issei since meeting him. His normal unemotional state. His eager state. His anger. Hell, she had even witnessed him being almost happy from time to time.
It wasn't a display of his half assed immature side.
He was genuinely and overwhelmingly terrified of whoever this "Snowball" person was.
"No. She won't." Grayfia's cold statement came with a finality that seemed to shake the house momentarily. "The event is being held on territory owned by Sirzechs-sama. We have made extensive measures to ensure that the event is invitation only. And that person is most certainly not on the list. We will underscore what will happen to those that disrespect the rules. Personally."
"You know what she's like." He countered the Queen with a visible shudder. "She's gotten past you before."
"We have had ample time to ensure security." She held her ground with a frosty tone. "And we have let everyone know where the line in the sand is drawn. Politics or not, she knows there are some repercussions she cannot skirt around if she blatantly ignores and trespasses a Maou's private property without permission."
He didn't like it. Not one bit. Every survival instinct of his was firing off at full blast at the mere idea of Snowball being close to him. Of playing her game.
Think.
The engagement party was a given knowing Bird Person. So she knew it was going to take place. But according to Gray, the facility and setup was all in Zech's hands. Somehow.
"Do a scan of the building and rotate the staff." Issei licked his lips. "She might have sent plants ahead of time."
"Done and done. Twice over from what I've been told." Azazel smirked. "I have a few hands and eyes in the mix myself for good measure. Gotta keep tabs on my investments."
Sona's eyes widened at the fact that Azazel had so brazenly admitted to having spies among a Maou's employees, however nobody else in the room seemed to be at all surprised or pay it any mind.
"Do it again then. Two days from now. Only those you absolutely trust. Throw in Sera's, Beel's, and Bum's most trusted as well to mix it up."
"Asking for quite a bit, aren't you?" Azazel rubbed his chin in thought. "Though I can't blame you for it. Pooling for the elites of multiple parties would reduce risk. Not sure if it's a good idea though. For parties as big as this, the grounds tend to be a task in themselves. The locals would know the ins and outs of it better than any trained professional."
"We will group them up then. Pair those we are certain are loyal with the uncertain." Grayfia accommodated. "After how much attention the rating game has received, we can claim we are taking precautions with the extra security measures. There won't be a way to properly prepare for a last second change like this."
"I can't believe I'm actually considering this." Issei dropped his face into his hands. "I'm more likely to go ballistic and prematurely spray everywhere than be the slightest bit productive the moment I step into a building with a party going on in it."
"That is the safe bet at the moment." Azazel mused, causing Asami to whack him upside the head again. "Oi! It's true. It's why Beelzebub told us to cut off the damn plan in the first place. The only reason we are even talking about it is because Sirzechs and this one here are getting desperate."
Issei tightened a hand into a fist and looked up at Grayfia. "… You, really couldn't find another way for Weeb to get out of this, could you?"
Grayfia had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. "Outside of blatant murder or causing enough political discourse to open ourselves up to worse alternatives. No. We expended quite a toll of resources to enable Rias the chance to fight for her independence alone."
The teen's gaze hardened, and his finger tapped on his leg in thought. "Has it truly gotten that bad?"
The Strongest Queen, to her credit, didn't flinch or falter at the loaded question. "It has been better."
God fucking damn it.
No wonder they didn't completely write off involving him in this bullshit eventually. It wasn't just the Dragons they needed help with.
"You hopeless idiots."
It was the hard and frigid tone that underscored just how low his thoughts on the matter were.
"Issei!" Asami chastised.
"This is exactly like what happened last time. Snowball aims for the weaknesses of the people that get involved. Chipping away at all the supporters at once rather than aiming for goal until it's laid bare. Why the flying fuck didn't you think she wouldn't go after Weeb or Enabler the moment they scored Kuoh? Did you really assume that just because they were direct family to the Maou they would be untouchable? Or was that half assed rule that the Sitri family came up with shortly after Bird Person began pushing where the Enabler would only marry someone that beat her in chess of all things just a coincidence?"
Sona froze. She had never spoken to Issei about her own marriage situation. Hell, she didn't even know he knew about that particular contingency set up to ensure her independence.
The idea of filtering out anyone that wanted to marry her had indeed come about after Riser had been pushy. And turning it into a genuine requirement for her hand in hindsight was a bit peculiar even by eccentric nobility standards. She had thought that her sister had been humoring her idea at the time after seeing what Rias had been going through, but for Serafall to actually follow through with it was something even she hadn't expected at the time…
How long? How long had she been stuck in this game without even knowing it?
"I told you he'd catch onto that." Azazel sighed in defeat, leaning back on the couch.
"You are right." Surprisingly enough, Grayfia didn't seem all that rattled by the accusations. "And also incorrect. When the idea of involving Rias-sama and Sona-sama in the events regarding you were suggested, we had anticipated that they would potentially be targeted. Measures were taken behind the scenes to minimize risk. Unofficial arrangements with the Youkai and Yasaka-sama of the Kitsune clan make approaching Kuoh under conventional methods undetected near impossible for anyone with influence. Japan has been designated and enforced as a neutral state by more than half a dozen major parties for over two years now. Only low and the bottom end of mid ranked hostiles are capable of moving about the country without being detected. Entities that are easily manageable for someone of Rias-sama's and Sona-sama's caliber. Serafall-sama and Sirzechs-sama had also combed over their siblings' duties and responsibilities as well to ensure that they were not obligated for any tasks they may disagree with."
Well that explained why a small army of excommunicated priests and some of the dregs of Fallen society managed to get there undetected by almost everyone.
"Except arranged marriages." Issei deadpanned.
"An obligation of the household. Not of the individual. An oversight. A foolish one at that." She relented. "In our defense, our prior exchanges and obstacles had not escalated to that degree until that point. Riser-sama, has made it a point to keep a surprisingly low profile all that time. To those that paid attention, at least. Outside of the usual promiscuous actions that are expected of his social position, he had stayed bereft of politics until the issue with Rias came to be known. We were all surprised when he first took the initiative and dredged up the agreement between the Phoenix and Gremory."
… That idiot. There was clearly something else going on. To change gears so quickly like that. Snowball liked her schemes, but she didn't absently hold onto someone like that for so long just for some one-shot job years in the future. She liked to ensure all her resources were being productive at any given time in one way or another.
And while Bird Person wasn't the brightest Phoenix out there, but he wasn't completely hopeless either. Putting himself out there like that, gaining the attention of the Maou after almost managing to get off the radar. He wasn't doing this out of charity. He was desperate for something. Something important enough to genuinely risk his life for.
And for once, Issei was confident that it wasn't to get into Snowball's bed.
"You find out what he's actually after?" His tone even and emotionless.
"No. We figured you might have an idea. For a while we thought he was still being led around by his dick but…" Azazel trailed off.
"His reputation for being a playboy isn't unfounded." Grayfia flatly stated. "If he did still desire for an unobstructed relationship with that person, there would be better ways to achieve it. Especially with their current positions."
"Hah. Respective positions. Isn't that a load of bullshit?" Issei scoffed and looked to the side.
"The irony is not lost on us, no." She diplomatically agreed.
"What I find ironic is that you supposedly know Riser. Personally at that." Sona finally interjected. "I find it odd that no one was to bring him up with you. One would think that such knowledge would have helped Rias win her Rating Game…"
"If Bird Person was taking things seriously for once, Weeb wouldn't stand a chance, me knowing or not. Not with three weeks training. Pride and tactics be damned. They simply weren't strong enough to fight an opponent that powerful." Issei dismissed her absently. "As for how I know him, you'll find out. Just like everyone else and their fucking mother will by the end of this disaster."
Christ he was not looking forward to this. His body was already beginning to tremble in absolute horror at the mere prospect of what was expected of him. He didn't fathom seeing himself being able to get into the room to pull off what was needed, much less deal with the fallout without going literally mad.
He hated this. Perpetually walking on eggshells just so that his anxiety wouldn't drive him insane was a nightmare. Constantly hounded and worrying about everyone and everything that paid attention to him. Fucking asshole nobility. They were practically raised for this sort of situation. It would take a massive social disaster to get them to feel… as bad… as he did…
Slowly, his eyes turned down to look at his right arm. Still wrapped up in a sacred holy shroud. Still holding Ghost back.
"Issei. You know it's not time to take that off." Azazel slowly warned, trying very hard not to show the others that his stomach felt like dropping to Hell very quickly at that moment.
"I'm not thinking of that. Just weighing my options and making assumptions." He muttered back.
A quiet hypothetical conversation ran through his head. Even if it was the ramblings of a madman, he was desperate for even a sliver of additional comfort and familiarity right now.
"Hey Ghost."
"Hey kid. You look like shit. You need to get laid. Let me cop a feel damn it. I've been good."
"You've been unconscious."
"Your point?"
"Snowball's starting shit again."
"Kill her." Even in his imagination, Ghost's immediate and cold response momentarily caught the teen by surprise.
"Not yet. What else? It's going to be a big noble party there though. Assuming I don't kill everyone else there, what should I do?"
"Humiliate her before she gets to you and builds up steam. Gang up on her name and dignity like it owes you money… which in hindsight is selling it short considering what she did to you."
"With what?"
"Oh I don't know, fucking everything? You're dealing with Nobles en masse at a party. Reputation is their lifeblood. It's not like you have connections and are vital to the plans of multiple factions that make you incredibly valuable to anyone in politics. Oh wait."
"Way to rub it in." It was always a peculiar feeling when the imaginary rantings of his teacher was more sarcastic than he was.
"Kid I'm a professional pitmaster. My hands go everywhere. Now clam up while I give you another recipe for treating useless tough leftover meat. Bleed her out in the open into dried jerky that only the poor and desperate would be willing to eat. Stop being polite. Fucking let it out like you always do. Like you should have done back then, only get EVERYONE involved this time so they can't ignore or disregard it this time. The last thing these meticulous morons ever think someone will do is pull a scorched earth in the middle of public, much less drag them into it. They value their reputation too much to think that anyone else would do it."
"I tried. Remember? It didn't work."
"You tried in a rigged court with suffocating rules, closed doors, and a leash around your neck. Different battleground. Different audience. You don't have any of that this time. That cunt stripped you of all that personally, remember? She wants to throw shit? Bring an industrial fan."
"… Huh. That could work."
"Of course it will work. It always works. Now quit moping and get me some action will you? W-wait! Don't stop pretend talking to me just yet! At least brush me up against Grayfia's leg first! You know damn well that the milf is a swinger!"
"Issei? Is something up?" Azazel asked as the teen opened his eyes and returned to reality. "You were quiet for a bit."
"Just brainstorming. Going over possible ways to not make things worse and how unlikely it is I could pull them off." He mused out loud, still staring at the ceiling. "And milfs."
"Huh?" Everyone blinked in confusion.
"Issei." Asami groaned, hiding her eyes with a hand.
"You need help. Seriously. I don't feel comfortable letting you go back to school." Sona deadpanned.
"There aren't any milfs at the school Enabler. Stop pretending you didn't plan it that way."
"How… why… my plan!?"
"By the old man's name, you guys have no idea how much I missed watching him drive people mad like this." Azazel snickered.
Already ignoring Sona's mental breakdown, Issei got back to focusing on more important matters. Make things worse and make the shit spray everywhere, huh? Well, if he thought about what was likely to happen and how bad it was going to be regardless, throw in the intended audience and their respective histories, interests, and prerogatives…
A blur of his left hand produced a pad of paper and a pen in his possession, which he instantly began to write on.
"Oh? Looks like you have an idea." Azazel's eyes started to flicker with curiosity.
"It's my industrial fan." The absent minded comment caused only more confused looks as he continued to jot down more notes on a second piece of paper before tearing them apart and handing one each to the visiting supernatural powerhouses.
Grayfia skeptically glanced at her document and instantly frowned. "Issei-sama, why do you need to know… and are you certain you want to bring this with you to the event?"
"That bad huh?" The governor general sighed lazily before looking at his slip, and instantly dropped all pretenses of being friendly as his face hardened. "Hooh? This, is one hell of a request you're making this time. What happened to being cheap and practical?"
"This is the bare minimum. Either you follow through or I'm not setting a damn foot in that place."
For a moment, Azazel and Grayfia glanced at one another warily. It was clear that they were each asked different things, and odds were high that they weren't supposed to tell the other what was in their lists. If what was on their own list was bad, then they probably would balk at what the other had.
"You really are making us work for it this time kid…" Azazel, ever the schemer muttered as he stared off absently, trying to piece together what Issei's plan was. What he was asking for… would cause more than a few serious headaches across the board if it was used as he was expecting.
But this was Issei he was dealing with. It was bound to be worse. For who was still up in the air.
He waved the paper in his fist, his eyes turning cold and hard. "Is this something you're planning to use right off the bat, or is it your contingency plan?"
The teen matched the ancient monster's glare with his own. "It's for when you guys fuck up and I'm stuck out in the open on my own. Again."
A long, annoyed, and heavy exhale escaped the Fallen's nose, though his gaze never left Issei's. The kid was serious, and by all rights, he had every right to doubt their ability to keep him safe the moment he stepped out into the open again.
They had already proven how "capable" they were with trying to protect Rias.
"Do what he says." With an almost defeated and dejected shrug of reluctance, Azazel pocketed his orders.
"Truly?" Grayfia looked at him surprised.
"If everything does go tits up despite our efforts, it will at least be done his way this time. We owe him that much. At least this way there's smaller odds of people getting set on fire. Probably more screaming overall though." The man helplessly explained, leaning back. "Whether that's for the better or worse, hell if I know anymore. Being warned is nice though. Gives us time to prepare for when he goes off on everyone for once. And don't tell me you aren't somewhat interested in seeing him go all out when burning someone that deserves it again. Literally or figuratively."
"You're still salty about that company roast you brought me to."
"Shemhazai's made it his personal mission to never let me forget." Half the upper staff were still using some of Issei's material for backhanded insults around the office on particularly slow days.
"It was your fault in the first place you dusty old man whore." Issei deadpanned. "You dragged me out of the lab because you thought I was working too hard, only to use me as a lure to get women while getting plastered on a bar crawl with that outdated "cultured mature successful man" gag you're obsessed with playing. You weren't even paying attention when you took me to that Fallen comedy club, which I was only able to get in because literally every Fallen six wings and under wants you to take them from behind."
"Erk." Azazel froze as he was suddenly the focus of attention of several disapproving female stares.
"Eeeeeh? Is that so? I didn't hear about this one." Asami hummed from behind him in a tone that promised divine maternal retribution.
"Let's, let's return back to important matters, shall we?" Azazel pretended that he didn't stammer just then. "As nostalgic as it is to be on the receiving end of your, unique brand of traumatizing honesty, Issei, we do have other less pleasant nostalgic topics to address."
The teen clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Fine. Again. I'm only going if the both of you agree to my conditions. No concessions on this. It's all or nothing."
Azazel and Grayfia glanced at one another briefly.
"I already let you know what my thoughts are." The former relented.
"I, do not have the authority to fulfill such a request on my own." Grayfia hesitated. "I will have to speak to Sirzechs-sama. You will have your answer soon after I return."
If the Maou was serious about this, then Issei's request wouldn't be too difficult to fulfil on time. The fallout if it was used though was another matter. "The sooner the better. I have some uses for it that will take time."
"Of course." The maid bowed. "Thank you for being understanding."
"Fuck understanding." Issei scathingly chastised the woman, causing her to pause. "Don't misunderstand me. I'm not doing this for either of you. You lot have constantly screwed up every time you try to help. And literally every GOD damn time, I eventually have to jump in and clean up after your messes and wind up getting the blame one way or another because none of you want to be seen with your fucking hands dirty." He put an extra weight into referring to the biblical god to make the non-humans in the room feel him triggering certain aspects of his global system.
He leaned forward and glared at the two powerful entities in his house. "I'm doing this because for the second time since I very recently got my life somewhat bearable, someone not related to the phenomenal shit show that is my existence is being put through the rounds just because they got close to me. Because you thought it was a good idea to put someone between me and Snowball and not explain what the fuck you were doing to anyone. AGAIN."
Deep in the cave, a deep and irritated growl echoed. The sounds of something best left alone shifted slowly, and the earth shook slightly in kind.
"This is what is going to happen. You two will do what I ask. I will show up at this clown show. Hopefully, against all odds, I keep my shit together long enough to get the Weeb out of the mess you couldn't handle. If Snowball doesn't show up, I go home while you sit Weeb down and tell her what happened and how useless the lot of you are. And I mean all of it. If Snowball does show up… the two of you should already have an idea of what will transpire, hopefully without me setting the damn place on fire. And then at the end of it all, I want all of you to fuck off and leave me alone or so help me I will burn the next idiot that tries this shit into monomolecular matter while their body is modified to feel every microsecond of their additional billion hypersensitive nerves screaming I bestow upon them. Do either of you have anything to add?"
Sona swallowed heavily. Even if she was a spectator, she couldn't imagine anyone having the gall to talk down to the Strongest Queen and the Governor General of the Fallen like that, much less a human teen. Even if said teen was using some terrifying power to make him feel more monster than not at the moment.
And yet…
Somehow, for some reason that she couldn't fathom, Azazel and Grayfia were both smiling at the display of genuine hostility shown at them. Not an amused or confident expression either, but somehow relieved. The more she learned and saw, the more she was genuinely bewildered by what was going on.
"Hah. Well when you put it like that, I guess I have no choice." Azazel smiled almost patronizingly, scratching his chin. "What about you, Grayfia?"
"I agree. There is little point in arguing against Issei-sama when he is like this. You have our unequivocal gratitude. We are in your debt once again." The beautiful woman agreed with a satisfied smile on her own before it bled away into concern. "That said, are you sure you will be able to do this Issei? We are all aware of your aversion to crowds, and you are familiar with how these banquets are."
Issei grimaced as if he smelled something disgusting and looked away, the primal aggression and energy that had been fueling him earlier deflating as quickly as it had come. "I'll figure something out. Somehow. Hopefully." Maybe.
"We will try to devise an approach to accommodate for your situation. Rest assured, we have no intention of throwing you in the middle of a crowded ballroom and expect you to be fine." The maid cajoled him.
"I'd bail on this whole disaster if you did." Just the idea of being stuck in a room with that many people was enough to turn his stomach and make him break into a cold sweat. Damn it. This was going to be harder than he thought. "We still have half a week though… unless the place is filled with people that are expendable…"
"No, you can't burn down the building and claim that Riser-sama did it." Grayfia sighed.
"What about-?"
"Flooding the facility with poison is also not an option."
"But-"
"Destroying the foundation and collapsing is too, inadvisable."
"What if I-"
"Pulling the fire alarm is simply childish and would just postpone the inevitable."
"I could always-"
"The building has three separate backup power sources. It would take you too long to get at all of them and the main power source."
"They would never expect-"
"Infecting a guest with a dangerous virus would raise too many questions. Even if it would give us an excuse to execute one or several annoying individuals of note in the process."
Everyone else in the room kept quiet as they watched the absurd back and forth of Issei trying to figure out ways to disrupt or ruin the party so he had more time/didn't have to go, and Grayfia cutting him off before he could even suggest it.
"There's the classic-"
"Don't even go with the anonymous bomb threat. We have a reputation to maintain. Plus most bombs aren't strong enough to hurt the guests in the first place."
"Then I guess you don't mind-"
"I actually would mind setting loose vermin and insects on the premises. Vehemently at that."
"Can't I just-"
"Random corpses being found at these events is more common than you'd think. Being thrown through a window is more a curiosity than anything."
"Where would you even get a corpse?" Sona frowned.
"I have one upstairs." Issei absently answered.
"… What."
"I have permission." He waved her off. "It's for science."
Issei's right hand twitched.
In the realms beyond dimensions, beyond the fourth wall, several insane immortals all screamed in horror. And one insane immortal screaming "SCIENCE" in pure ecstasy before chasing after the other immortals screaming in horror.
"Well at least it's not for porn." Raynare muttered under her breath.
She pretended not to hear Issei say something along the lines of "porn science", for her own sake.
"Not to be rude, but are you two done?" Azazel interjected before they could continue with the poor joke. "Like you said, we only have half a week left. Not much time to prepare."
Issei and Grayfia looked at one another warily, clearly conducting a quiet conversation of their own for a few seconds before breaking eye contact.
"I believe our business is concluded." Grayfia stated evenly.
"I'll add this shitshow to your tabs. Like usual." Issei emotionlessly informed them, though his words still scathed them all the same.
"Haaah. Honestly, I don't think I've been this deep in debt in centuries. If dad knew about this he might've actually bothered to chew me out." Azazel sighed, getting up off his seat. "Well, if that's all that needs to be said, I best get going then. Wish I could say that it was for better reasons, but it was nice seeing you again. And you Asami."
Something about the way Azazel's words rubbed Sona the wrong way. As if he was brushing up against a topic that should alarm her.
"I as well shall depart." Grayfia lifted herself as well and bowed politely. "One last thing Issei-sama. A message from Sirzechs-sama. No, a declaration, of a declaration would be more accurate. One long overdue."
While the bulk of the room didn't know what she was getting at, both Azazel and Issei froze as though they were informed of something genuinely world altering.
"Oi. Is this some sort of joke? I get that we owe the kid and need to take a stand, but I thought that you and the other Maou still needed to prepare in order for something like that. Especially you and Sirzechs." Azazel looked genuinely unnerved by the revelation.
"Sirzechs-sama has determined that the time required to ideally do such a thing no longer exists. With events accelerating as they have, the need to improvise and reschedule is required. You no doubt have had to make some radical adjustments on your side as of late as well." She replied factually.
"Fuck plans. Gray, if you and Zech's act out like this now, what about…" Issei grimaced, clearly approaching a topic that he didn't want to get any closer to.
His trepidation seemed to only endear him more to the Maid, if her breaking stoic façade and kind smile were any indication.
"Our daughter Alicah will be fine. As will Millicas. Sirzechs-sama and I started taking measures and precautions for a worst case possibility for them in conjunction with trying to fix matters with you."
Sona couldn't help but shiver and mentally yell in frustration and mental whiplash at the new seemingly random puzzle piece was revealed to her.
What the hell did the Lucifer's five year old daughter have to do with any of this madness?
o. o. o.
Omake: Disaster can begin with the smallest events.
Asia yawned as she walked back up the stairs in the middle of the night after getting a glass of water. She had been trouble sleeping lately. The home felt less… warm, with Issei gone for so long. It was still more comfortable and friendly than the Church, but still.
"Mmm."
"Eh?" The young nun blinked in confusion at the strange sound coming from further down the hallway, from Asami's room.
"Mmmmmm."
Curious and concerned, Asia slowly and quietly snuck to the source. It wasn't hard to find, seeing as Asami had left her bedroom door slightly open.
"Asami-san?" The young girl whispered softly as she peeked inside…
And saw her host on her bed alone, with some of the trinkets and models that she had seen lying about in Issei's room on occasion.
"Mmmmmmmm."
Oh. So that's what those toys were for.
She probably shouldn't be watching this. She should probably go back to bed.
"Yeah, riiiight there."
But if Issei was making things like that in his room all the time, then it must be important to him, right? So in order to know him better, it was for the best if she learned as much as possible.
Right?
"Ah. Aaaaaaah."
Just be quiet and don't interrupt. Just like… what did he call her again? Oh, right. A ninja. Nice and quiet like a ninja.
"Sneaky sneaky."
Asia learned a lot while Issei was away. She wanted to surprise him with how much she grew.
o. o. o.
A/N:
Thanks as always Crayzayjay for betaing.
Oh Issei, you poor bastard. You took your eyes off of the puppy and now she's developing such a naughty habit.
Regardless, this was the cooldown chapter before things seriously go completely sideways. Next chapter is going straight to the engagement party, and if you think it's just going to be an Issei Vs. Riser fight, oh boy, you don't know me and how much I like to make everyone miserable and suffer. I assure you, nobody is going to get through this shit show without suffering extreme whiplash.
For clarification, Azazel was actually there to STOP Grayfia from inviting Issei to the event. He knew exactly how bad it could get if Issei blew his top, and the only reason why our damaged Sekiryuutei didn't go ballistic was because he had essentially pieced together 90% of what was going on already and knew that he was pretty much shafted if he didn't do anything. The only major thing he didn't know by the time Grayfia had come along was that Riser specifically was the one marrying Rias, which was more salt in an open wound than anything by that point.
Keep in mind that while Issei does care for Rias, part of his reasoning for still going through with this is because he suffers from a VERY severe guilt complex, basically making him feel a high degree of responsibility whenever something goes wrong around him. Especially if it is to the demerit of those close to him. As a result, he instinctively feels he is obligated to address the problem in some way. He's very aware of this, and it's part of the reason why he tries to stay away from people in general currently.
That said, while he said that he intended to go and help Rias and go with whatever Sirzechs has planned, that doesn't mean that he's genuinely ready and prepared for it. Not even close… which will only make things even more interesting when he does appear and the steps he takes to address it, muahahahahahaha.
He said his requests from Grayfia and Azazel for the party were his "industrial fan" in case shit starts flying, but in reality, its more like his "set of high performance jet engines".
Fwoooosh.
Anyways. It'll be a while before the next chapter comes out unfortunately. Next chap of TTRT is the last one for a while before I swap to FFD, and then, well, FFD.
Real life is being real life. Only worse because the world is going to shit. Seriously, what the flying fuck is going on this year? It's like half the world leaders are bathing their skulls in bath salts these days and are in a contest to see who can fuck up the hardest without sparking an official world or civil war. Yet.
And then there's the crazy woman that rents out the apartment I own, who has decided to turn up HER crazy by a factor of 10 this year as well in the form of her jobless son. Dumbass apparently thought it was a fun idea to spray graffiti on the apartment complex property and get away with it, even after getting caught on camera. They're still denying it and now I'M the one slapped with a bullshit $700 bill.
Whoever thinks being a landlord is an easy side hustle with little risk, you clearly don't deal with enough people and haven't paid enough in repairs and expenses yet. That or you're spoiled with a good long term tenant, and for that I am jealous.
Anyways, uh, what else? Spring anime is out. Summer Time Render is definitely worth watching in particular. Very Higurashi meets Re:Zero. Only less jailbait, thankfully. Without getting into spoilers, the antagonists are definitely a league and a half more capable and intelligent than the vast majority of other antagonists in this genre and it seriously has me curious how the story will turn out.
Not much else this time everyone. This chapter's been delayed long enough.
SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! ASIA CHAN NIN NIN! AND REVIEW AGAIN!
