"You're Not Alone"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 5

As soon as twenty-three-year-old Ben put the ship he stole into hyperspace, he collapsed on the floor outside the cockpit.

The back of his mind said he was still dreaming, that his uncle's lightsaber was just another one of his constant nightmares, he would wake soon to the sun pouring into a quiet hut and no murderous uncles hovering over him. His sweat-drenched tunic clung to his skin and the floor pressed against his face, cold and hard, as he shut his eyes and waited to wake up. Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!

He knew he was waiting in vain, his uncle had really tried to murder him, the voice was right about everything, but still he lay there, lacking the energy to do anything else. Some part of him wanted to run home to his parents, cry into their arms like he was a little kid again, but then his mind's eye saw them glaring at him when they heard what had happened.

The voice was right about Luke – what if it was right about his parents too?

No, no, he couldn't face that, he wasn't strong enough, he couldn't return home only to find out that the voice was right about his parents, that they did send him away because they were afraid of him, that they didn't love him enough to keep him around. Not Mom and Dad, no, not Mom and Dad!

What if they would raise weapons over his bed too?

Still he lay there as if time had stopped, wishing time would stop, wishing something would wake him from this reality.

"Ben?"

No, no, not now, not now, not now!

"Ben, are you okay? What's going on?"

Ben opened his eyes and there was Rey standing over him, innocent Rey. "Ben?" she repeated. "What's wrong?"

How could Ben ever answer that?

"Ben?" she repeated again, now crouching down to his level and placing a callused hand on his cheek.

Ben looked up at his friend – his only friend. "Rey," he gasped out, "something awful happened, but I don't want to talk about it."

Reys eyes bulged. "What?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Now listen, where are you?"

"I keep telling you, I don't know."

"That's a lie," said Ben, forcing himself to a sitting position. "We both know that's a lie."

She frowned at him, her lips pursing out. "It doesn't matter if it's a lie or not," she said in a shaky voice. "I can't go off with you, no matter how much I might want to."

"Rey, I know someone who can help us. He told me to come to him when everything came crashing down." When, the voice always said, never if, as if it always knew that Luke would do this someday.

Of course it did. Hadn't it been warning Ben about Luke for years?

Rey was still frowning. "Who?"

"I . . . I don't know his name," Ben admitted, "but he's been talking to me. He . . . he warned me about this, but I didn't listen." He gazed up into the budding teenager's hazel eyes. "Look Rey, he'll take care of us both, I know it. We can start a new life and neither of us will ever have to be alone again."

The girl's frown softened a little, though she still appeared on edge. "My parents . . ."

"Forget your parents! Rey, they're not coming back and I think you've always known that."

Now her face hardened again. "They are!"

"Rey, you can't just waste your life waiting for them!"

"I'm not!"

"Then why haven't they come back?" Ben snapped. "If they love you so much, then why did they abandon you to fend for yourself for seven fucking years?"

"They do love me!" Rey insisted, her lip quivering a bit.

"Loving parents don't abandon their children to suffer," said Ben, taking a deep breath and gazing up at her, trying to send warmth and comfort through the Force to wherever she was. "Rey, I care about you. I don't want you to suffer." He extended his hand up to her. "Please, tell me where you are and come with me. Please!"

Rey looked at his outstretched hand, her lip quivering harder, her eyes starting to glisten. "I want to," she whispered. "I really want to . . . but I can't." She slowly turned around, facing away from his hand, as if afraid that she would take it if she looked at it for too long. "Please stop asking me where I am."

"Rey . . ."

"I mean it." Still she wouldn't look at him. "I can't go with you."

With that, she vanished, leaving Ben completely alone.

As soon as she was gone, Ben's hand came slamming down on the metal floor as he let out a scream. "Damn you, Rey," he shouted, his voice cracking, "what the hell is wrong with you? Why won't you let me help you?" For a moment he thought of how he'd once planned to search every planet with a desert, one sun, and two moons – could he do that now?

No, if she wasn't going to come with him, then what would be the point?

"You are alone," the voice whispered in his mind. "I warned you about him."

"I know," Ben gasped out. "I'm sorry I didn't listen."

"It's not too late. I've told you where I am. Come to me and I'll take care of you."

Ben sat there, staring at the floor, wishing Rey would tell him where she was, wishing they could both go home to his parents, wishing he could just fall into his parents' embrace and forget all about everything.

"You know you can't go back to them. They won't forgive you after what happened tonight. You can't ever go back to them."

Never . . .

His mother's smile, his father's kisses, Uncle Chewie ruffling his hair . . . he could never go back to them . . .

Part of him wanted to throw up, another part wanted to scream into the night, but he did neither. After staring at the floor for an unknown amount of time, he pushed himself to his feet, running his hand over his eyes and gritting his teeth. The past was dead and there was no point in grieving it. Now he had to focus on his future.

He knew what he had to do.

It was time to meet the voice.

. . .

Fourteen-year-old Rey crept around in the bowels of a fallen Star Destroyer, looking for parts that could be sold for a good price. Sweat trickled down her face, soaking into the rags wrapped around her head. As usual, the ship was eerily silent, as if all the planet's sounds had been left behind when Rey entered.

Until a low hum started echoing around the room.

Rey held her breath, peering around the darkened chamber, the hum bouncing off all the walls, making it impossible to locate.

Then, as if out of nowhere, there came a black-armored, black masked figure, brandishing a cross-shaped sword that glowed red as if it were on fire.

She swallowed a scream as she broke into a run and slid behind a piece of broken paneling, curling up into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut. The back of her mind wondered what the hell the figure was and what it was doing here, but the rest of her concentrated on not making a sound and willing the thing to go away, go away, GO AWAY!

She would hide from the figure many more times in the years to come.