"You're Not Alone"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 6

"I'm not used to having visitors," nineteen-year-old Rey said to the droid she'd rescued who called himself BB-8. She sat on her bed as the droid rolled up to her, beeping that he wasn't used to being a stranger's guest.

"No, I supposed you're not," she said as she put down her staff. "Be forewarned – when you leave to find your master tomorrow, you'd better watch out for a person dressed all in black and wearing a mask."

The droid suddenly screeched, rolling backwards as if Rey had summoned the masked figure with the flaming sword.

"Wait, what?" Rey exclaimed. "You've seen it?"

The droid beeped in a hurried manner.

"He was after your master? That was how you got separated?"

The droid abruptly stopped beeping, as if afraid that he'd revealed too much.

"I know, I know, classified," said Rey. "It's just . . . he's been stalking Jakku for years and it usually seems like I'm the only one who ever sees him."

The droid beeped again, revealing something Rey had never known in all these years – the name of the figure.

"Kylo Ren?" She turned the name around in her mind, shifting it with the figure she'd been hiding from for years. Was it the sort of name she was expecting? For so long it had just been the masked figure in her mind – she hadn't even been certain of its gender. In fact, it had never been fully alive to her – it had been a thing to hide from.

"Kylo Ren," she repeated as she started undoing one of her hair buns. "I guess I never really thought of that thing as having a name."

BB-8 turned his dome around, beeping that he'd said too much, then something caught his attention. He rolled over to the back wall, staring up at the endless rows of scratch marks.

"The days I've been here," said Rey. "Alone."

BB-8 gave a sad beep, rolling back up to her.

"It's all right," she said, reaching down and caressing his dome. "I'm used to being alone."

She wasn't about to tell him about how she wasn't really alone, though she and Ben had been linking less and less often in the last several years and even when they did link, he was distant and didn't say much. Ever since he fled his uncle and went hell-knew-where, it was like an invisible wall had been erected between them. There were times when they linked and neither one bothered to talk at all.

Now the droid asked if she was okay.

Her heart fluttered a bit. For so many years, Ben was the only one who ever asked if she was okay. "I'm fine," she said, keeping her hands busy undoing her second bun. "As I said, I'm used to it."

Used to it, but did that really mean she was all right?

. . .

Sleeping felt like it would be a waste of time when the droid was still loose, but Kylo Ren had been assured that he would be alerted if any information on the droid's whereabouts were discovered, so he had reluctantly gone to bed. Now he lay wide awake, staring into the darkness, seeing flashes of his uncle's lightsaber behind every blink.

Skywalker would be dead soon.

This was only a minor setback. The map would soon be in the hands of the First Order and Skywalker would be found.

And Kylo would kill the last Jedi himself.

He imagined raising his own lightsaber over his uncle, looking into his terrified eyes before delivering the final blow . . .

Then came the twitch in his senses.

He rolled to his side and there was Rey, curled up under a well-worn brown blanket, as close as if she were lying in bed next to him. For a moment he held his breath, but the action proved unnecessary, since she opened her eyes after a few seconds.

"Ben," she mumbled, the name stinging as it always did. Kylo wished he knew how to tell her to stop using his dead name without telling her about everything that had happened since Luke tried to murder him.

"Rey."

She only recognized him when he wasn't wearing the mask, which was exactly how Kylo wanted it. Let her continue to believe he was Ben – it would spare her the heartbreak and disgust.

And after all, she was keeping secrets from him, so why shouldn't he keep secrets from her?

"I suppose you're going to ask where I am," she said.

"I would if I thought you'd actually answer this time," he replied.

She rolled over to her back, as if she didn't feel like looking at him. "I wish you would understand."

"I wish you would understand. I could help you."

"I do understand that, but you need to understand that I have to be here."

Kylo groaned. "How many times have we had this conversation?"

"Then let's not have it again," said Rey. "I've had a long day and I'm tired."

"I'm tired too," said Kylo. "But I'm also an insomniac."

"We both are," said Rey.

They lay in awkward silence for several more minutes, neither one any closer to falling asleep.

"My offer still stands," Kylo said in a soft voice.

"I know," said Rey.

"I still wish you would see reason."

She frowned, digging herself further under the blanket as she rolled over to face him. "I wish you would see how important this is."

More awkward silence, during which Kylo allowed himself to entertain the fantasy of Rey telling him where she was and the two of them overthrowing Snoke together. Free, free, they would both be free then.

"Why haven't you returned to your parents?"

Kylo sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Why the hell are you asking about them?"

"Because if I knew where my parents were, I'd go to them."

"And then you'd see once and for all that they no longer want you!" Kylo spat. "You'd finally realize that I've been right all these years!"

Rey just stared at him, her lip quivering as if she were about to cry.

"You know the truth," Kylo said in a softer voice. "You've always known, but you're too stubborn to admit it."

Before Rey could answer, she vanished.

. . .

Rey gasped as soon as Ben was out of sight, running her hand over her eyes, thankful that the droid had shut down for the night and didn't see her talking to nothing. Her lungs felt compressed, as if Unkar Plutt's large hands were squeezing her chest. No, no, Ben was wrong, he was wrong, he had to be wrong.

She closed her eyes, willing his words out of her mind. Wrong, wrong, he was wrong, he was wrong . . .

The island came again, as it so often did when she hovered between sleep and waking. Though she'd never seen a real ocean, her mind's eye took her to the water, water, as far as could be seen, sparkling under a warm, pleasant sun.

And in the middle of the water, a land mass, covered with cliffs and . . . and grass. She thought she could remember grass – deep green grass spreading over the ground . . .

She drifted around the island, gazing at it, feeling it call to her, but as usual, she was asleep before she could reach it.