"Hey, Armin?" Eren's voice somehow penetrated the chaotic chatter in the dining hall.
Armin, so engrossed in the various folds of the skin on his palm, glanced up at his friend. The scouts had just finished dinner. On a typical night, small groups of scouts would start retreating to bed until there was nobody left, having been wiped out by a tough training regimen. Tonight, there must have been something in the air, something energising, as the room was just as full as it was two hours earlier. Armin's automatic response was cut off. The wide grin spread across Eren's face confronted him. He hadn't worn such a cheeky expression in what felt like years! Eren wasn't the type to poke fun at somebody regularly - especially Armin! But Armin became familiar with that expression after witnessing petty arguments against other children in their district. And, because of that, Armin grew suspicious.
Something was definitely in the air tonight!
Armin's stomach churned as he dreamt up all the things Eren could say to embarrass him. "…what is it?"
"Do you remember when we were little and you told us that your mom was a witch?"
There it is...Armin thought to himself. All the time he spent thinking about his mom and their shared magickal ability had been leading up to this very moment; this very 'innocent' question. His cheeks blushed brightly with the hot burning sensation of humiliation. His instinctual response was to tell him to shut up, or make frantic excuses for the words of his younger self, but his mouth hung open with shock!
A few mornings ago, Armin woke up with itchy palms. Similar to a poison ivy rash, but accompanied by an overwhelming urge to act. He couldn't describe how he felt such an emotion. It spontaneously appeared and remained like an unpleasant smell. Briefly, the image of his mother formed in his sleepy mind. She appeared warm, ethereal, and rather melancholic; just as he'd last seen her at ten years old. He remembered her sacrifice, her sadness, and her complete and utter willingness to sacrifice her and her lover's lives for said lover's wish. Armin could not pinpoint why his thoughts randomly gravitated towards her! Did the fading warmth of his blankets remind him of his family? Or did the icy morning conjure feelings of loneliness and longing for maternal warmth?
No amount of finger wiggling or handshaking cured the itching. He wore gloves to keep them warm, then dunked them in the icy river to shock his skin, but the tingling persisted! Armin became obsessed with examining his hands, turning his wrist to look at every inch of his arms. Physically, he appeared fine. Internally, however, anticipation erupted in his belly whenever he looked at his hands. He was only reminded of his wish. Armin retreated to his mind to answer his questions, which he found difficult to comprehend. He didn't know why the thought emerged following five years of repression. Maybe the universe or a magical force knew something it could not tell him. Perhaps it was as his mother said; he would instinctually know when it was time to grant somebody's wish.
Though preoccupied with their separate conversation, the randomness of the word 'witch' grabbed Jean's, Connie's, and Sasha's attention. Even Mikasa appeared mystified by Eren's words.
"Wait, who's a witch?" Sasha questioned with great interest.
"Armin's mom." The aforementioned three appeared bemused at Eren's reply. Armin couldn't even begin to suppress the horror on his face! Bringing up the topic between childhood friends was one thing. Roping in their other friends - who had an affinity for fondly teasing others and each other - was a whole different situation! One that Armin wasn't sure he was prepared for!
"Was she mean? That's a pretty harsh thing to say, otherwise," Connie said, obviously intuiting Armin's chagrined reaction as being offended by his words.
The blonde's wide, pointed eyes conveyed desperation at Eren, accompanied by a demure plea of, "Eren, please don't start this!" He wished he knew what transpired for Eren to ignite such a topic. From across the table, Eren's smile only grew wider and more wicked - he had no plans to drop it.
"No! I don't mean it like that. Armin was the one who said she was a witch when we were about 9 or 10. I remember the day he said she revealed her 'magick' to him. He didn't shut up about it for hours! He'd said his mom had one wish to grant somebody. That's what made her a witch," he recounted. "Do you remember that, Mikasa?"
"Now that you've said all that, I do remember. She used her wish on your dad, right, Armin? I thought it sounded sweet," Mikasa chimed in, mortifying Armin even more as he assumed his childhood friends were too busy worrying about their own lives and tragedies to remember something he talked about for a single day. In great detail, too!
Armin decided feigning ignorance was the best course of action to get his friends off of his back. "...I don't recall," he mumbled.
"I completely forgot about it, though. What made you remember, Eren?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. The thought randomly popped into my mind during training a few days ago and it made me laugh."
Jean rested his arms on the table, leaning into Armin's field of view. "This wish-granting thing...is it hereditary?"
Armin felt even worse now that the rest of his friends were beginning to fish for information! What had once been a mysterious secret he kept close to his heart - the one thing he had left of his mother, aside from his eyes, his hair, and his love for exploring - was slowly turning into a mockery. He groaned, dropping his face into his hands. "Not you, too!"
"What? It sounds interesting!" It seems Eren wasn't the only one amused by Armin's mother's status as a witch.
"If it were hereditary, Armin would've said something to us," Eren insisted, glancing towards Mikasa, who nodded in agreement.
How wrong he was…
"Wait, did you say that she used her wish on Armin's dad? What did he wish for?" Sasha implored towards the blonde, whose face was still hidden in his hands. Seeing as Armin was still combating his embarrassment, she couldn't count on his response and sought out Eren and Mikasa instead. "Do you guys know?"
The two took a few moments to ponder over the question before deciding they were clueless. "Come to think of it, I don't think she told him any details. Just told her about her 'magick' and then he told us later that day."
"Well, if she gave Armin no details, she was probably fucking with him. Hey," Jean nudged him under the table, "were you gullible when you were younger?"
Armin glanced up from his hands to meet his friends' expectant faces. "No, I wasn't. And I don't remember anything about the wish she granted my dad," he mumbled through gritted teeth, hoping they would take the hint and drop the subject!
"You so do remember, otherwise you wouldn't be reacting like this."
"I think you're aware that she was messing with you, and you're embarrassed because Eren randomly bought it up. There's nothing to be ashamed about, you know. It's cute!" Sasha attempted to reassure him.
Her words forced Armin to introspect. On one hand, the magick was real. He saw it. He felt it. He created it! He identified it on a deeper, ancestral level, running through his veins as naturally as blood. So, why was Armin so ashamed by Eren exposing his childhood self's truth?
Sasha leaned forward. "When did she tell you about her wish?"
Armin was less reluctant to answer Sasha, as she seemed to be genuinely enamoured by the naivety of Armin as a child. "...on the day they left to go outside of the walls," he reluctantly answered. His parents' cause of death wasn't a milestone he enjoyed discussing with his teammates - aside from Eren and Mikasa, who experienced his grief in real time. But, even without context, everyone seemed to understand and relate to Armin on an empathetic level.
"If that's the case, then she might have been trying to comfort you, especially if they weren't sure if or when they would return," Sasha suggested.
"That's true. I know if my Mom said something like that, I'd feel comforted." Though Jean tried to be somewhat helpful, his intentions were disregarded as Eren turned to him with a telltale expression of apathy.
"Of course you'd think that."
"Shut up, Yaeger. You know, for someone who acts like a baby every time his mom is mentioned, you sure love to talk about other peoples'!" Jean heatedly defended. Of course, such a snide comment left the emerald-eyed brunette furious as they launched into one of their usual nightly argument.
Armin remained silent - a fact that seemingly went unnoticed by his friends. Watching Eren and Jean argue brought more trepidation within the pit of Armin's belly. He didn't understand the guilt, the fear, or the anxiety he experienced while discussing his mother's (and, consequently, his own) magick. It was real! He never overtly lied about its existence or its conditions. But, for whatever reason, he didn't feel ready to talk about it, and he didn't know if he ever would be ready to talk about it in front of any of his friends. He decided to keep it within himself for a bit longer until his magick decided to reveal itself.
Or who to reveal itself to.
"Truthfully," Armin began, experiencing slight tranquillity when his friends finally shut their mouths and directed their attention towards him. "I'm pretty sure it was something I said when I was a kid to cope. I knew they wouldn't come back. I didn't want to believe that my parents would leave and die over exploring what existed outside of the walls, so I wanted to believe that it was a wish my mom granted my dad. We all have different ways to cope when we think about loved ones who died, no matter how old we are, right?"
Everyone could agree with the blonde's sentiment, particularly his two guilty-looking childhood friends. Nobody said anything, and frankly, Armin was sure none of his friends knew what to say in response to such a statement. It was personal and probably deeply touched them all. But…Armin knew it had been a while since they engaged in such a jovial conversation. No matter how personal his mother's magick was to him, it served as a light-hearted memory intended to make them laugh. It was rare for all of them to engage in humorous conversations, so Armin couldn't help but feel shameful for ruining it.
The awkward silence between his friends - only drowned out by the rowdy and jumbled conversations from the other scouts in the dining hall - exacerbated Armin's guilt. He ducked his head, not bearing to look at anybody. "...I didn't mean to bring the mood down - I'm sorry."
"N-No, it's cool! I shouldn't have said anything or pushed the conversation after knowing you felt uncomfortable. I'm sorry," Eren insisted, and nothing else was said.
The mood could not be remedied as it remained a little sour, and a little bitter until they all retired to bed. It would probably be fixed by the morning after everybody got a good night's sleep and gave Armin time to get over the discussion that revealed a lot more about his childhood than he wanted.
Still, the blonde's defensive reaction and palpable anxiety left more than one of his friends extremely curious about his mother's claims and Armin's current belief system.