HellHomer It's Lisa's Birthday. Again... And Homer accidentally unleashes the forces of Hell. And there's Hellraiser references, Billy, Yu-Gi-Oh and pudding.
Plot
Today is Lisa's birthday, and as usual, Homer forgot to buy her a present.
The last present Homer gave Lisa was one of those make your own birthday videos at the mall, but he was supposed to get her a diary.
The birthday before that he blew up her room by using fireworks indoors to try to get a CD that was stuck inside her radio entertainment/karaoke system he got her from the birthday before that. However he did make it up to her by taking her to a book fair.
Then a few years before that Everyone nearly forgot Lisa's birthday because Homer got incarcerated in a lunatic asylum/mental institution for wearing a pink shirt to work. They also met a man who thought he was Micheal Jackson.
Lisa waited for her present.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted, as Marge asked him for his present for Lisa.
"Homer, you didn't get her a decent present," frowned Marge. "I told you two weeks ago to get her what she has been obviously hinting to. A Malibu Stacy doll! Dr Malibu Stacy!"
The sexist white haired Malibu Stacy CEO seethed. "Women can't be doctors! I'm still living in the 1920s!"
"You lost, Feminists run your company now..." said Oscar.
The CEO seethed.
"You're in trouble now, Homeboy," said Bart.
"Shut up, Boy," Homer shook his fist at Bart, then turned to Marge.
"Don't worry, Marge, I'll head to the mall and get Lisa her present, before she gets back from Janey's."
Homer heads out of the door, just before Ned Flanders greeted him.
"Howdy-Doody, Homer," Ned replied.
"Must get Lisa present. Shut up, Flanders," Homer got into his car and drove off, just as Lisa went inside the house.
Lisa wondered where he was off to.
"Where's Dad going?" Lisa asked her mother.
"He had to go to work," Marge lied. "Mr. Burns wants him to work overtime."
"On a Saturday?" Lisa gave her mother a puzzled look.
"I better meet Milhouse at the comic book store," Bart went out the door, as Marge gave her usual angered look.
"Kallae Kistnae..." Oscar rasped in gibberish as he followed him.
"Oz seriously..." Bart groaned.
Marge and Lisa winced exasperated.
"Beat not to ask..." Lisa sighed, deciding not to give herself a headache wondering what makes Oscar break out into gibberish.
Then there was an impersonator, a shoddy one at that, of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. The impersonator insisted he was the real Jeff Dunham despite speaking in a high pitched screechy voice and demanding green, lime flavoured jello.
"I want green jello!"
...
"Why did the mall have to be so crowded today?" Homer groaned as the mall's parking lots were crowded with no empty spaces. "I knew I should have gone to one of those cheap malls in Shelbyville, they have the super-sized strawberry malts with the large cookie dough chunks."
Oscar gasped. "Traitor!"
"Uh I mean. Screw Shelbyville! Yeah screw you lemon tree stealing assholes to Hell!"
Oscar was satisfied and warped back to wherever Bart is.
Just then, Homer spotted a nice little store next to the mall. He drove there.
It was then upon getting out of his pink car where he was greeted by a wrinkled old woman smoking a long cigar dressed in a Chinese garb.
Oh and she's The House of Evil shopkeeper's wife. Yes he's married.
Homer entered the House of Evil store.
"I see that you're my first customer," the old woman said to Homer. "What would you like to buy?"
"Today's my daughter's birthday, and I want to find her a decent present," said Homer, as the old women took a drag from her cigar.
"Lisa like puzzles, get her one," said Homer's brain.
"Zip it, Brain," said Homer. "I'll do the thinking around here." He soon turns back to the old woman. "Do you have any puzzles?"
"We sell forbidden artefacts from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt. Which my husband insists on calling Frogurt." said the old woman.
"He's married now?! He must be like a hundred! Anyway but do you sell puzzles?" Homer jabbered on and on.
"Come inside, my fat little friend," replied the old woman. "What kind of puzzles dose she like?"
"I like to get her one of those brain teaser puzzles she likes," Homer replied, as he spotted a strange cube on one of the nearest self. He picked it up and showed it to the old woman.
"I'll take this one. Lisa likes that Rubix square thingy anyway."
"That certain puzzle is not for sale," said the old lady. "Get another puzzle." said the old woman sharply.
"Why can't I get this one?" Homer asked.
"That puzzle opens the gates of Hell!" the old woman snapped. "Now get another puzzle and get out!"
While the old woman wasn't looking, Homer put the square puzzle into his pocket, and grabbed a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards and put them on the counter.
Lol! Yu-Gi-Oh...
"A good choice," the old woman smiled, as she took Homer's money, and put the cards into a small paper bag. "Thank you and come again."
"Did you offer him his free but cursed Frogurt?" Her husband asked.
"Satoshi enough about the Frogurt! How is that helping our business?! You keep telling the customers it's cursed!" The old lady ranted.
"I will," Homer smiled as he walked out of the store, ignoring the domestic going on, but mumbled under his breath. "You old, smells like my gym socks bag."
...
Android's Dungeon.
The bell above the door rang.
Bart and Oscar enter the store.
Jeff/Comic Book Guy sighed.
"Now remember Jeff, try to smile and be polite." said his wife Kumiko.
Jeff sighed and tried to smile a wide happy smile. He looked creepy.
"Ugh!" Bart recoiled in disgust.
Oscar gawked with an arched bushy eyebrow.
Why does the author obsess over my thick eyebrows... Oscar mumbled to himself.
"Interested in anything Bart Simpson Kun?" Kumiko asked.
Bart browsed the comics in the display case,
"Ah! Radioactive Man: The Frackering. Where he fights the Fracker again. After being killed off and rebooted after last season's series ended." said Bart.
"That will be (A reasonable price for a fairly new comic)" said Comic Book Guy politely. Getting married seemed to have cheered him up.
Bart smiled and eagerly paid for the comic.
"I'll buy a few Yu-Gi-Oh booster packs." said Oscar.
Bart winced. Yeah there's Yu-Gi-Oh and pudding in this episode.
Also Milhouse was there too. Bart needed to meet him there for some reason.
"It better not be about you proclaiming your love for Lisa or you jabbering about Puppy Goo Goo..." Bart groaned.
Milhouse frowned. 'No... I just wanted to hang out..."
Bart sighed with relief. "Milhouse I'd love to, but it's Lisa's birthday I have to stay at home and watch her open her presents..."
Milhouse sighed.
"Oops! I did an Uh oh," said Ralph.
Bart made a disgusted face.
"That's alright Ralph, I did an Uh oh in my diaper too." said Oscar smirking.
Hank seethed.
Bart frowned at Oscar.
"Hey look! A new Z Men comic." said Milhouse.
"Eh... I never really got into that series..."
...
At home.
Lisa was opening her presents.
Lisa gave a weak smile as she looked at her new sweater from her Aunts Patty and Selma. The sweater looked like it had the hair of a million cats sown into it.
"I was going to make it into a blanket for Ling, but she might cough up a hairball," said Aunt Selma.
"Thanks, Aunt Selma" Lisa gave a small grin.
"That's okay sweetie." said Aunt Selma taking a drag from her cigarette. Forget hairballs! I'm more concerned about Ling getting lung cancer from second hand smoke!
Ling coughed from the smoke.
"I loooooove sweaters!" Oscar squeed as he loves geeky sweaters.
"Yes I know Oz." said Lisa.
"Open my present," said Grampa Simpson. Lisa did so. She gasped as it was a gun! "It's an classic colt. 45 pistol."
"Grampa, I hate violence and guns," replied Lisa.
"I love violence and guns! You Democrat!" Oscar yelled.
"Grampa, how could you?" Marge frowned at Abe.
"I was going to give it to Bart when he's old enough," said Abe.
Marge seethed.
"I'll take the gun," Bart smirked. "As long as it shoots water."
It discharged and shot a hole in one of the ceiling fan's blades.
"I knew I should have got fake bullets," sighed Abe.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar.
Just then, Homer enters with "Lisa's" present. "Happy Birthday, Lisa!" he shouted, as he gave her the puzzle cube from out of his pocket. "I hope you like puzzles."
"Oh, Dad, this is the best present you ever gave me," Lisa smiled. "What's in the bag?"
"I got Bart some Yu-Gi-Oh cards to play with his friends," Homer gave Bart the cards.
Oscar laughed.
"Yu-Gi-Oh sucks, man" frowned Bart. "I'll just add them to the rest of my other sucky trading cards."
Suddenly Yami Yugi throttle him. "How dare you! I ought to send your ass straight to the Shadow Realm!"
Oscar winced as he watched Yami Yugi throttle Bart.
"Nyeh! No Yugi! We don't want another lawsuit!" Joey yelled pulling Yami Yugi off of Bart.
Hugo gawked baffled.
...
A few moments after that madness...
"I'll start to figure out my new puzzle after dinner," Lisa said, as she went upstairs.
"I wonder what's for dinner..." said King Harkinian.
"SHUT UP!" Bart yelled annoyed by the random meme character.
"That was sweet of you, Homey," Marge kissed her husband on the cheek.
Homer blushed.
"Now tell Marge that you stole that cube from the old woman who told you it wasn't for sale in the first place," said Homer's brain.
"It's Vanilla Pepsi for you tonight," said Homer to his brain.
Homer's brain groaned.
Meanwhile in Hell! Mwuhahahaha!
Satan looked at his computer monitor (Windows obviously) from the pits of Hell to see Lisa trying to solve the puzzle. "Come on, kid, solve that puppy so I can bring Hell on Earth." He now laughs evilly.
Dun dun dun!
...
Back on Earth. The Simpsons house.
"I know I said I wanted that Malibu Stacy doll and DVDs but thanks for the puzzle Dad." said Lisa.
"You're welcome sweetie." said Homer.
"Wow you dodged a tantrum there Homeboy." said Bart.
"Shut up boy." Homer snapped.
Hugo, Bart's evil twin brother, remember? Growled and grumbled in an eerie manner.
"You too! Um other boy." Homer hissed.
Hugo crawled about on his hands and feet like a dog growling and groaning.
Lisa was in a good mood this year to open the gifts. She was probably happy in Insane Clown Poppy too but the episode was all about Krusty's daughter for some reason.
As such she stayed downstairs and opened the rest of her presents.
Oscar got her an encyclopaedia.
"Thanks Oz." She kissed him on the cheek. Oscar blushed and moaned aroused.
Bart got her some Angelica Button merchandise and um one of the latest novels. She liked that series remember?
"Thanks Bart." She kissed him too.
"Aw shucks..." Bart blushed.
Hugo gave Lisa one of his fish heads. Seriously Hugo...
"Um... thanks Hugo..." Lisa winced.
Then they all sang Lisa happy birthday.
"Happy birthday to you!"
Blue haired Lawyer was tied up and gagged in the corner so he couldn't sue for stupid reasons. You can sing happy birthday in public and on TV now. The idiot trying to claim copyright was laughed out of court.
Oscar was looking through his new Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
"Trash... trash... Meh... have three of those... Oh! Right Leg of the Forbidden One!"
Bart winced at him.
...
Hell! Mwuhahahaha!
In Hell Satan was watching Lisa who was working on the puzzle trying to solve it.
Satan laughed maniacally.
"Yes soon the infernal legions of Hell will be unleashed!" said Satan laughing evilly.
Plot 2
The next day or something. Look I decide what time is and what happens. Well today Bart, Lisa, Oscar and Hugo were watching cartoons.
"Today, on a very special episode of Arthur," said the TV announcer. "The kids of Elwood City learn that Bionic Bunny is gay."
"Cooooooool!" said Oscar. How is that cool Oz...
"First Spongebob, now this," said Bart Simpson, who is watching television with Lisa. "Next, they'll say that Jughead's homosexual."
"Jughead is homosexual..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed. He turns to Lisa. "How's the puzzle?"
"I gave up on it last night," replied Lisa. "That was one strange puzzle Dad gave me."
"What did you do with it?" Bart asked.
"I gave it to Dad to figure it out," said Lisa.
Just then, Homer enters with a scared look on his face. "Lisa, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I solved your puzzle."
"What's the bad news?" Lisa asked.
"I think I opened the gates of Hell," replied Homer.
"Cooooooool!" Oscar cheered.
"No Oz... not cool..." Bart sighed.
"YOU WHAT?" Lisa shouted. "How could you open the gates of Hell, it's just a stupid puzzle."
"I was in the basement solving the puzzle," said Homer. "When I solved it, this huge portal opened and Zippy the Pinhead came out dressed in black and told me that I've opened the gates of Hell."
Lol Zippy the Pinhead...
"Homer, are you drunk again?" Bart asked.
"Call me Dad!" Homer yelled.
"I'm telling you the truth that I've opened the gates of Hell," replied Homer, as a winged demon landed on Homer's head.
Bart and Lisa screamed.
"I think Dad did open the gates of Hell," said Bart to Lisa.
"You think?" Lisa snapped, as she now turned to Homer. "Dad, take us to the basement, maybe we can figure out how to close the gates before Mom and Maggie come home."
Homer, Bart, and Lisa went downstairs to the basement, as they saw the huge portal with more winged demons coming out of it.
One of the demons grabbed Bart's Krusty doll, "Krusty!" and ripped it open with its claws.
"No one rips my Krutsy doll," said Bart, as he took out his slingshot and fired a rock at the demon that ripped his doll. The demon yelped and flew about stunned. It growled at Bart.
"Good shot, Boy," said Homer, as he whacked the demons with a broom. "Take this, you winged bastards!"
"The only way to close the portal is to find the puzzle and redo it," said Lisa, as she looked for the puzzle. "Where is the puzzle?"
"I sort of gave it to the pinheaded guy, because he wanted it anyway," said Homer.
"Dad, sometimes Mom's right about you being an idiot," said Lisa, as she now turned to Bart. "We better see what Springfield now looks like now with Hell on Earth."
...
In town.
Lady by Styx was being played by hellish skeletons with guitars. The four horsemen of the apocalypse were riding about. Also because they're skeletons they must be voiced by Skeletor.
"Do you think rock stars are in Hell?" Bart asked his sister. "After all, they do sing about Satan more than God."
Lisa sighed and they went back inside for a bit.
Lisa just sighed, as she, Homer, and Bart went upstairs to see their living room melting, as they saw people through the hole melting away the bay windows, running from the demons.
"I thought demons existed in adult anime," said Cookie Kwan, as demons began eating her car. "Stop eating my car, you maniacs! And stay away from the west side!"
The demons tore her apart.
Otto the bus driver smoked a joint, as he saw three demons staring at him. "I got to stop sucking the weed, man," he said, as the demons ripped him to shreds.
"Actually we're not hallucinations caused by your marijuana. We're real." said the demons as they ripped him to shreds.
Ned Flanders looked from the window of his dining room as he saw what was happening. "It's about time God punished all the evil on Earth," he said. "I don't know about the demons and the smell of brimstone."
"Ned, you idiot," said Reverend Lovejoy, who is visiting Ned. "Hell has come to Earth. It is time for all the good souls to go to Heaven."
"Then, why are we still here?" Ned asked.
"Shut up, Flanders," replied Lovejoy with a deadpan look.
Deep in space, Kang and Kodos looked on in their spaceship, as Earth is covered by the armies of Hell. This puzzles Kang, as he looked on the monitor.
"Great, some other alien race is taking over Earth," said Kang. "Now, we won't have our convention there anytime soon."
"What am I going to do with all the chips and dip I bought?" Kodos asked her brother.
"It looks like we're going to planet Eternia again," replied Kang. "You know I hate Trolans."
The Simpsons house.
Oscar was admiring the melting walls.
"Ooooooooh! Coooool! The walls are meltiiiiing!"
Bart face palmed exasperated with Oscar finding the apocalyptic events happening to be cool.
"No Oz... not cool..." Lisa sighed.
The news.
"This is Kent Brockman live, as the town of Springfield has gone to Hades," said the reporter in front of the chaos that's been happening since the last act.
"Actually Kent it's gone to Hell. Judeo-Christian Hell. (Judaism and Christianity)" said Satan. Being all big, red and scary holding a trident. "Hades is Greek Mythology."
"Ok. The town of Springfield has gone to Hell." said Kent.
"It still looks better than when that time the millennials moved in..." said Satan.
Kent sighed. "Can you just let me broadcast the news..."
"Only if I can tell people to vote Republican." said Satan.
...
Living room.
"Oh this is terrible!" Lisa cried.
"Oooooooh! It's raining fire!" said Oscar with glee.
Bart winced at him.
The basement.
Billy from Grim Adventures was down there.
"Cooooooool! An otherworldly portal!"
Pinhead arrived. He laughed evilly.
"Who are you?" Billy asked.
"They call me Pinhead." said Pinhead.
"Why they call you that?" Billy asked.
"Look closer." said Pinhead.
Billy squinted.
"Do you not see these GROTESQUE PINS?! STICKING OUT OF MY FACE?!"
"Oh yeah." Billy pondered. "Did you have an acupuncture?"
Pinhead growled and went upstairs.
Living room.
The Simpsons shivered as they were scared of the Hell and demons etc.
"N-n-now let's not point fingers." Homer stammered.
"Dad you opened an inter dimensional portal to Hell! You've unleashed Hell and Vanilla Cola upon us all!" Hugo ranted.
"Hey quit bad mouthing Vanilla Cola..." Oscar grumbled annoyed.
Suddenly Pinhead entered the room laughing maniacally.
"Aaaaaaaaagh!" Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar screamed.
"Pinface!" Homer cried.
"Uh... it's Pinhead..." said Pinhead.
"Or Dirty Dan?" Patrick Star asked.
"No just Pinhead." said Pinhead. Then he tortured everyone by skewering them on meat hooks on chains and ripping their skin off etc.
"I will teach you that pleasure and pain can be one and the same." said Pinhead.
"Why are you doing this?" Homer cried.
"Because you completed the puzzle." said Pinhead.
Meanwhile in Endsville Billy annoyed Pinface. Well he annoys everyone really.
Also He was bored so he did various odd things. Such as dress as Princess Peach...
"Boring." said Princess Peach Billy.
"Holy moly! He's dressed as a girl!" Hank yelled.
"I like pie!" said Billy delighted.
...
Elsewhere.
"Sir, Hell has been unleashed upon Springfield." said Smithers.
"And?" asked Mr Burns.
"Aren't you worried about the forces of evil attacking the power plant?"
"I'm already prepared. I bought Cerberus, the three headed dog of the underworld off of Hades." said Mr Burns tapping a button. A bookcase slid upwards reading in a small chamber lurked Cerberus, Hades's guard dog.
"You bought Cerebus. The three headed dog of the underworld..." said Smithers.
"Yes." said Mr Burns.
"Ok..." said Smithers.
Elsewhere.
"This is Kent Brockman live, as the town of Springfield has gone to Hades," said the reporter in front of the chaos that's been happening still.
"It's Hell! Hades is Greek Mythology!" Satan yelled.
"Hell has come to Earth….literally. As a horde of demons are attacking the town. What would have caused this?" He turns to Homer. "Tell me, Mr. Simpson, you've done some stupid this in the past, but this is the stupidest. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Hi, Marge," Homer said to the camera. "I hope you can forgive me that I opened the gates of Hell."
"I just got word, Mr. Simpson, that your wife and the others are at the church," said Kent.
"That was close," replied Homer.
"She's mad at you... big time," Kent frowned at Homer.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted. "It's no pork chops for me."
Hugo winced. "Dad the world is ending. I think that's a great deal more important than pork chops..."
"Shut up! Freak!" Homer yelled.
Oscar zapped him with a taser. Homer screamed as he was zapped.
"Aaaaahhhh! Okay fine... I'll be nicer to him..." Homer groaned looking burnt and frazzled.
Hugo was scratching himself like a dog does, with its back leg.
"I could go for a Starbucks latte right now..." said Satan. "Wait I have minions to order around!"
An imp from Doom hissed. "You there!" Satan boomed. "Get me a latte!"
The imp hissed.
Back at the Power Plant. Me Burns's office.
Cerberus growled.
"Sir are you sure it's wise to have Cerberus, hound of Hades?" Smithers asked.
"Oh he's a good boy really." said Hades from Disney's Hercules. He lit a cigar.
"Well there you go Smithers." said Mr Burns smugly.
"Well he only really listens to me." said Hades.
"Whaaaaat?!" Mr Burns asked.
"I told you several times." said Hades.
Elsewhere.
Pinhead wanted to be Dirty Dan.
"No I'm Dirty Dan. You're Pinhead." said Spongebob dressed as a cowboy.
The Cenobites we're baffled by this. Including guy with razor sharp CDs stuck in his head Cenobite.
And back at the Power Plant again.
"Mr. Burns, Cerberus is the dog that guards the underworld in Greek myths," replies Smithers.
"Where do you think I got the dog from, ninny hammer?" Burns asked. "I sold your soul to Hades for that beauty."
"How could you?" Smithers cried.
Because he's evil...
The author then said Mr Burns was planning to buy the River Styx as well...
...
Town.
Damien and Nemo were walking about.
"Yeah because He'll is unleashed Damien and Nemo are back..." Bart sighed.
"How's Hell school?" Oscar asked.
"That was a Treehouse of a Horror story... and stop trying to make friends with me!" Damien ranted.
"Fine... butt head..." said Oscar.
Damien zapped him with magical energy from his hands. He turned Oscar into a duck-billed platypus.
Oscar quacked.
Bart sighed.
Nemo babbled and sucked his pacifier.
"No... Maggie doesn't like you Nemo..." Damien sighed.
"Care for eine liverwurst sandwich?" Üter asked.
Damien sighed and snapped his fingers, setting fire to Üter.
Plot 3
Marge got home she was furious with Homer.
"Homer J Simpson!"
"B-b-but how did you know?!" Homer whined.
"Homer every time something extremely stupid happens and brings about the end of the world or unleashes Hell. It's usually caused by you!" Marge yelled.
"Lisa gave the puzzle to me..." Homer whined.
"Because I was stuck on it! You bought it!" said Lisa. "I wasn't to know that it would open a gate to Hell!
Homer scoffed.
The House of Evil shopkeeper's wife suddenly scuttled in holding up her long skirt. "You! Thief!" She yelled at Homer.
"Agh! The old bag!" Homer screamed.
"I told you that puzzle wasn't for sale! You stole it!"
Marge gasped.
"You shoplifted?! Homer after all that time we were mad at Bart for stealing his copy of Bonestorm?! The lectures!" Marge snapped.
"Babe you stole a bottle of whiskey..." said Homer.
"Great. Now we have no moral to stand on! How is Bart supposed to know stealing is wrong when both his parents are thieves?!" Marge ranted.
"I know it's wrong. I just really wanted that video game." said Bart.
"Who is this old biddy?" Oscar asked.
"The House of Evil store owner's wife." said Homer.
"Right..." Oscar rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"Such drama... Where is the puzzle now?" The shopkeeper asked.
"Um... I gave it to Zippy Pinhead. Because he wanted it." Homer replied.
"You idiot!" The shopkeeper yelled.
Continuing with all this evil with the legions of Hell, Cerberus and Pinhead... Hank's goldfish turned out to be from the Evil Dimension. Like Stan's that killed Kenny.
The goldfish leap to out of its bowl and bit Ralph.
"Ow! Bad fishy!" Ralph whined.
"Holy moly! That fish is evil!" said Hank.
Oscar was dancing to I believe in Miracles by Hot Chocolate, while dancing in just his diaper.
Hank screamed in rage and stormed off.
...
"Homer, you've really done it this time," said Marge. Annoyed.
"How did they know I did it?" Homer asked.
"It's obvious! It's either you that causes these messes and chaotic situations or Oscar!" Marge ranted.
"Hey!" Oscar whined.
"Yeah!" Everyone in town gathering outside the melting Simpson house agreed with Marge.
"This feels like a Treehouse of Horror episode." said Oscar.
"Yes it does I suppose." said Lisa.
Hank was holding his goldfish bowl with his evil goldfish swimming about inside it.
"The only way to save the world is we got to undo the puzzle Dad gave me," said Lisa.
"Exactly. Like in Hellraiser which I think the mysterious author is trying to reference." said Hugo.
"Let's call on God to help us in this time of need," said Flanders. "Good is stronger than evil. Like the Bible says..."
"SHUT UP, FLANDERS!" Everyone shouted.
"Finally..." Homer glad everyone was using his catchphrase. Marge frowned.
"Homer we're mad at you too..." said Moe.
"Maybe Ned's right about calling God," said Marge. "God can get us out of problems like this."
"Can he give me hair?" said Homer.
"Can he give me my teeth?" said Abe Simpson.
"Can he make me an actor?" Sideshow Mel spoke.
"Can he give me a giant corn dog with mustard?" Oscar asked.
"Oz that would be a gross misuse of God's powers..." Bart sighed.
"Can he give me my show back, so I can review Star Wars: Episode III?" spoke Jay Sherman.
"Jay, what are you doing here, man?" Bart asked the portly film critic.
"I need more guest star time," Jay said. "People don't know me anymore. Look what happen to Mr. Largo and the Capital City Goofball."
Everyone was silent.
"Idiots," Jay muttered under his breath.
"Maybe I could help," said a voice.
"Who said that?" Homer asked.
"Is that you, God?" Flanders asked as well.
A man walked towards them with a chainsaw for his right hand where it was amputated from. "I'm here to help," he spoke.
"Who are you, mister?" Lovejoy asked the man.
"The name's Ash," he said, "and I'm going to kick demon ass."
Everyone cheered.
"Cooooooool! Evil Dead!" Oscar cheered.
"Author no! As much as Evil Dead is awesome, Just no!" Bart whined.
...
A basement somewhere.
Ash Williams suited up and armed himself to fight demons.
"Groovy." He said after bolstering his shotgun.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar in awe.
Ash fights through the demons gathering outside.
"I'll swallow your soul!" They screamed.
"Swallow this!" Ash shot them.
Satoshi the eater of souls who was in the demon army gulped and fled.
Meanwhile Jay Sherman and Comic Book Guy argued over Evil Dead.
"Worst trilogy ever!" said Comic Book Guy.
"Oh shut up! Ash is the only guest star helping us right now!" said Jay Sherman.
"Feh." said Comic Book Guy.
"Oh yeah like you know a good movie! You liked the Phantom Menace and Jar Jar Binks!" Jay yelled.
"When I watched Episode II I soiled my pants..." said Comic Book Guy.
Bart laughed at him.
They passed through a cemetery.
Lisa shivered creeped out by cemeteries.
Suddenly Don Brodka, the Try N Save security guard Oscar murdered bursted out of his grave as a zombie.
"I liiiiive, again." He quoted Evil Ash.
"Coooool! But he's a zombie..." said Oscar giving Ash permission to shoot him.
Ash shot the Don Brodka zombie.
"Good now let's catch some Pokemon Ash." said Homer.
"Wrong Ash! I'm Ash Williams from Evil Dead!" said Ash from Evil Dead.
Oscar laughed. "That was funny though."
Bart sighed exasperated.
"I want to become a real boy. Just like pistachio." said Oscar.
Bart winced. Baffled and deeply concerned with Oscar.
Oscar smirked.
"I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!" Deadites declared repeatedly as Ash Williams shot them or sliced them up with his chainsaw arm.
Bart yawned as he was taking all the kills.
...
Hell.
Damien and Nemo were patrolling Hell.
Damned souls were screaming in agony.
"Yeah yeah... well you should have thought about that before you lived a wicked life of sin..." said Damien.
Nemo was sucking his pacifier.
Suddenly Ash leading all the Springfield citizens broke into Hell.
"Oh shazbot." Damien gulped.
Homer, Ash and a few others took the Hell Elevator or Hell-evator hehehe! Up to Satan's throne room because the original author has different pacing to mine. Look we're barely through five chapters and we're already on thirteen pages!
Oscar, Bart and Hugo had to take the long way through the seven circles of Hell...
"Also Dante is here. No not Dante from Devil May Cry. The original Dante from Dante's Inferno. I did want it to be Dante from Devil May Cry though..." said Oscar.
Bart winced exasperated.
There was a medieval knight called Dante there.
They first went through the shores of Limbo. The outer parts of Hell that's not technically Hell but Purgatory.
Ghouls of the dead were just wandering about unable to accept they passed on.
Also some were playing limbo. Oscar chuckled.
Bart sighed.
There were also Pagans and nonbelievers because according the Devil Ned, Christians were right all along.
"I keep telling you! I'm not evil! I'm Hindu!" Apu was hiding in one of the dead trees growing in Hell from some demons poking him.
Oscar, Bart and Hugo were safe from any demons as Dante killed any that bothered them.
"Meh, Grim's taken us through or to the underworld loads of times." said Billy.
"Yeah and now your voice actor voices a demon." said Oscar.
"That hasn't happened yet! Oh crumbs!" said Moxxie.
"Coooool! Demon Zim!" said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Oz can you wait till that, whatever it is... exists..." Hugo sighed.
The environment around them gave way to fiery lava filled sulphurous caverns typical of Hell.
...
In the Hell elevator.
"Aka the Hell-a-vator..." Hehehehehe..." said Homer chuckling.
"Shut up..." Ash Williams groaned.
"How much longer till we get there?" Homer asked. "I want to get a cold beer at Moe's."
"Homer, for the last time shut up about your stupid beer," said Ash.
Homer grumbled offended.
"We're almost at Satan's lair. According to this map of Hell, Satan's fortress should be in the middle of Hell." said Ash.
"What's it look like, Pee-Wee's Playhouse?" Homer said sarcastically. XD.
"Yes," replied Ash, as they look at a Hell version of Pee-Wee's Playhouse. That's just hilarious...
As the elevator descended through a typical fiery and lava filled cavern area of Hell, suddenly the Lower Norfair theme from Super Metroid played.
Daaaaaa daaaaaa daaaa daaaa daaa daa! Daaaaaa daaaaaa daaaa daaaa!
"I don't get this reference!" Homer whined.
I do!
Also the author said Bart has a PSP and they challenge Satan to a game of Street Fighter 2...
Oscar laughed.
Bart playing his PSP sighed exasperated. They continued travelling through a lava filled cavern while Lower Norfair theme played.
Elsewhere Homer annoyed Ash Williams by again confusing him with Ash from Pokemon.
"Go Pikachu!"
"Shut up Homer!"
And giving his gasoline for his chainsaw to Barney who drank it.
"Ugh that apple juice tasted terrible!" said Barney.
"That was gasoline!" Ash groaned.
"Oops!" said Homer feeling rather small right now.
"I need that to fuel my chainsaw!" Ash yelled.
"I'm sorry!" Homer whimpered.
Back to Bart, Hugo and Oscar. They arrived at the Heironymous Bosch area of Hell.
"Seen it before..." Bart sighed.
"Yeah but there's Nether portals now." said Oscar. There were Nether Portals from Minecraft everywhere.
Bart winced exasperated.
...
Endsville.
"Billy why are you dressed as Princess Peach..." Grim sighed.
"Boring..." Billy replied bored.
"Uh that's not an exclamation..." said Grim.
"I don't think we're gonna get one Grim..." said Mandy.
Meanwhile in Hell.
Oscar, Bart and Hugo passed an area full of bones, dead trees and volcanic vents.
Suddenly Shenzi, Banzai and Ed from Disney's The Lion King were there.
"Why..." Bsrt asked.
"To sniff us with their big wet shiny black noses..." said Oscar.
Bart punched him in the stomach. "Oof! Jerk!"
Plot 4