Growing Pains Homer ruins Bart's Z Men comic at dinner by wiping his face clean with it. Lisa is trying to cut down on pollution and making the town beautiful and green with flowers thanks to her Enviro-bears club. However Oscar and Teddy freak out at her bear ears s headband. Later Bart gets a crossbow...
Plot
The title gag is Teddy as Captain Spring Green Squeaker flying about and chuckling.
...
The Episode opens to a superhero comic being read by someone. It's an expy or spoof of Marvel's X-men called Z-men.
A hero with eight red eyes is fighting thugs in city that's in flames with wrecked buildings. People are running around screaming.
"Like when there's a sale at Cosingtons... Or I'm off my nut again over potato people and imaginary screaming leprechauns..." said Oscar as a commentary voice.
"Oz shut up..." Bart groaned.
Anyway back to the eight-eyed super hero.
"Sprinkle! This battle is endangering innocent civilians! Form a weather shield to protect them from the falling debris!" said the spoof of Cyclops.
"Sprinkle?!" Oscar pulled a face in distaste.
Bart hushed him.
"She should be called Weather Woman!" Oscar frowned.
Bart hushed him again.
"Bart put that comic away and eat your dinner..." Marge nagged.
"Sure thing Octoclops!" said Sprinkle in the comic to Octoclops.
"Dr Octogonapus BLAAAAAAAGH!" Oscar yelled.
Bart seethed as a faceless voice.
"Oscar sit down..." Marge sighed.
Sprinkle aka Weather Woman then protested about why they were helping people who hate and persecute mutants. Ie like the Z-men.
"Because being a hero is doing right regardless of the thanks you get..." Oscar sighed.
Bart hushed him.
"I don't hate her..." said a perverted guy ogling Sprinkle.
"Ooooooh... pretty lady..." said another pervert.
The expy of Professor X, probably called Z in this spoof went on a long winded speech summing up what Oscar already stated. They needed to protect the innocent because that's what heroes do, even if the innocent population are ungrateful or persecuting mutant superheroes.
"Struth Professor! Those are some purdy words! But I've got the raw prawn with a no good critter here who needs skinning!" said a spoof of Wolverine with his claws out.
"Ah G'day mate! Great down under eh?" Oscar blurted out.
Bart seethed.
The Wolverine spoof, is fighting his arch enemy Bucktooth. A spoof of Sabertooth... with enormous buck teeth...
"Well why dun you quit yakkin' and bring it on Shorty!" said Bucktooth.
Oscar suddenly starts singing Yo Shorty it's your birthday by 50 Cent.
Bart growled frustrated.
"Where did my napkin go?" Homer is heard but not seen as we're in Bart's eyes as he reads his comic.
The Wolverine spoof lunges at Bucktooth, stabbing his claws into him.
"Gaaaaaagh!" Bucktooth dies.
"Weaselrine noooooooo!" Octoclops lamented him resorting to lethal force.
"I swear his spoof name was Badgerine..." Oscar sighed.
The comic ends with blood or pasta sauce in the corner...
...
"Dad! You're wiping your big, dumb face with my Z-Men comic!" Bart yelled. The Simpsons are eating spaghetti and meatballs for dinner with a side of greens and garlic bread.
Bart is yelling at Homer because he is wiping his mouth on Bart's comic. Homer looks sheepish as he ruins the comic with tomato pasta sauce.
"I'm sorry boy! I lost my napkin!" said Homer whimpering.
Bart glared at him while taking back the comic.
"I ate his napkin, and everyone else's..." said Hugo eating a napkin.
Grampa is drinking his food with a silly straw.
"How comes he gets a silly straw..." Oscar whined.
Marge sighed as she ate her dinner.
"Silly straws are sacred to the kingdom of the potato people!" Oscar ranted.
Hugo face palmed, flustered by Oscar.
Lisa is eating salad, yes just salad.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
"I can't eat the meatballs, I'm vegetarian..." said Lisa.
"Still?" Homer asked. Lisa gave him a cold stare as if it was obvious that yes she's still vegetarian.
"Also I have to ask, what in the name of sanity are you wearing on your head Lis?!" Oscar yelled.
"These are fake bear ears. They're part of the enviro-bears kit. Ie my latest climate concern, green Mother Earth-loving club..." said Lisa.
Bart made a retching grimace and gagged at her.
"Ah... I was wondering why Teddy, my living teddy bear creature was up at the table growling at you..." said Oscar.
Teddy growls at Lisa.
"Ted, they're fake..." Lisa sighed.
"You killed an innocent bear cub and took his ears!" Teddy yelled, his blood boiled with rage.
Hugo face palmed.
Peter Kay, a comedian suddenly busted in like Bruce Lee. The Simpsons gasped.
He saw the garlic bread. "Garlic bread! Garlic bread?! Bread with garlic? Not in my manor luv!"
Bart winced. "We Americans don't get that comedian..."
Oscar shrugged.
"The sheer amount of filler you shoe-horned across two comic book pages..." Hugo winced.
Matt the creator was now Mr Green Jeans.
"Green jeans, Hawaiian shirt
You're sat there illustrating animation cells, Ow! you made my eyes burn!
Your wardrobe, it's Weird Al Yankovic, to be sure!" Oscar sings.
Matt rolled his eyes while illustrating the dining room. Ie colouring it in...
...
Onto the third page. We're in Marge's point of view as everyone is complaining or bickering.
"There's still lumps in my ba'sghetti..." Grampa grumbled.
Marge sighed.
Basically because he has dentures, Grampa's food must be liquified...
A cartoon interpretation of Papa or Father Bear from Goldilocks and the Three Bears blundered in. Possibly a Terrytoons adaptation.
"Somebody touched my spaghett-!" yelled Papa bear.
The Simpsons gawked with exasperated frowns.
"Cooooool! Memes..." Oscar cooed in delight.
Bart is still angry about Dad wiping his mouth on his comics.
"...And that's the ultra-rare chromium variant cover! Lizard Magazine says there are less than ten million copies of that book in print!" Bart ranted.
Hugo rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt that paper and cellulose comic is made of chromium..."
"But the triple-thick mando paper is so super-absorbant! " Homer whined.
"So is Burly kitchen towels..." said Oscar.
Bart high fives him and nodded.
Homer scoffed.
"I thought your favourite comic was Radioactive Man though..." said Oscar.
"I have several comic series I like... just in case a story arc in RM is dire..." said Bart.
"Please enough of the pointless filler...' Hugo groaned head butting the table.
Oscar stuck his tongue out at Hugo.
"Mom, don't forget you and dad promised to take me to my Enviro-Bears meeting tonight." Lisa whined at Mom.
"TAKE THOSE FRIGGIN' EARS OFF! YOU BEAR MURDERER!" Teddy screamed in rage.
Oscar face palmed.
Maggie is wearing her spaghetti on her head.
Baby Eric smirks and grabs his bowl of spaghetti lifting it up...
"Ahh! No Eric! Geez Maggie... you've got to stop encouraging him..." Marge sighed as she took the baby's food bowl from Eric and placed it back on his high chair tray. Marge muttered as she cleaned up Maggie.
"Mooooom!" Lisa whined.
"I remember Sweetie. How is your little club doing, by the way?" said Marge.
Maggie is wearing her spaghetti again...
Oscar chuckled.
"Not too good." Lisa wearing bear ears sighed. "It's a travesty Mom... people just have no pride in Springfield anymore! It's like as soon as you talk about the environment people just seem to..."
Homer falls asleep in his spaghetti dinner. Splat! He lands face first in the sauce.
"Zzzzzzzzz..." He snored. Bart is glaring at him.
"Homer!" Marge catapults meatballs at him.
"Coooool!" Oscar catapults food with his spoon across the table.
"No you don't do that sweetie..." said Marge.
...
Homer wakes up, his face is covered in red pasta sauce and spaghetti.
"Ay Chihuahua!" Oscar screamed freaked out by Homer.
Bart winced at him.
"Dad that's offensive! Clean your face at once!" Lisa seethed. She thinks he's doing blackface...
"And another celebrity I think might be a transvestite..." Homer groaned as meatballs are launched at him. "Is that talk show guy who always wears dresses... Now I don't have any facts to back up that theory, it's just a gut feeling..."
Oscar winced. "Uh excuse a what now?!"
"Dad that's Tyler Perry... a comedian..." Bart sighed.
"Daaaaaad! We're talking about beautifying the town!" Lisa yelled.
"Yes! By making everyone wear dresses!" Oscar yelled with glee.
Hugo winced at him.
"And you owe me a comic book, Homeboy!" Bart seethed.
Homer sighed.
"My garlic toast needs more warm milk on it..." Grampa whined.
Marge sighed.
"Now boy, in my pocket is four shiny new quarters..." said Homer still with pasta sauce on his face.
Lisa seethed at him, offended.
"My pockets just contain chewed up gum and half a packet of mints..." said Oscar stirring his spaghetti around.
Homer frowned at him for interrupting. "And with these four quarters boy... you can buy several comics! And mayhap a festive penny whistle! And still have a tuppence remaining!" Homer attempts to wipe his face clean.
"Dad the comic you ruined costed $7.50..." said Bart.
Homer falls backwards. "D'oh!"
Oscar laughed.
"Homer are you quite alright?" Marge asked.
Homer gets up. "Bart, Lisa... I have the solution to both your problems! Well I seem to have forgotten about Lisas..." said Homer. Lisa scowled at him. "Boy, to the basement!"
"When I was a boy, comic books were made of fibreglass, and you had to wear special gloves to read 'em! Scratchy Dreadfuls we'd call em!" said Grampa.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
Bart groaned and wept frustrated into his hands.
"Anyway it was at that moment that Homeslice and I left the table..."
"But your dinner!" Marge gasped.
"Because Oscar's teddy bear was goofing off again..." Bart sighed.
"Cheese pants!" Teddy was wearing pants made of cheese...
Oscar's nose ran as he was freaked out by Teddy's insanity involving cheese pants.
"It was either cheese or GIANT RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me!" Teddy yelled.
Oscar face palmed.
"Now we have an explanation of what caused your deranged, freak out episodes..." said Hugo to Oscar while squinting.
Lisa sighed. "Does anyone at this table care about the environment..."
"TAKE OFF THOSE BEAR CUB EARS!" Teddy screamed.
...
The basement. Homer is going through a box of old stuff.
"Boy, this was the first ever comic I bought as a boy. I even had the sense to keep it wrapped in a mylar bag." said Homer holding a comic protected by mylar.
"That looks more like a sandwich bag..." said Bart.
"Eh... probably..." said Homer.
"Well what do you think?" He asked.
"Uh Dad..." said Bart repulsed by the old, out of fashion comic.
"Now don't go all Milhouse on me... A simple thanks Dad will do." said Homer.
Milhouse magically appeared.
Bart face palmed.
"Well enjoy!" said Homer.
Bart reads the comic book while making angry Muttey from Dastardly and Muttley sounds. "Razzle frazzle... stupid funny book..."
Milhouse winced.
Plot 2
"Well That's one crisis averted in my own comical style. Now time for some Homer time. Now where's the remote?' said Homer as he sat down to watch TV.
"Stop! Homer time!" Oscar was dressed as MC Hammer.
Homer face palmed.
Oscar while wearing parachute pants does MC Hammer's dance.
"knock it off and sit down..." Homer seethed.
Homer watches the Three Stooges: Too Old To Still Be On Air.
"Why you numbskull!" Moe slapped Larry.
"Ha that's my paralysed side..." said Larry.
"Ah a stroke victim eh?" Moe slapped the other side of his face.
"Ow... I'm too old for this..." said Larry.
Curly was uh... dead...
Homer laughed.
"How can you laugh at this?! That's not funny that Larry had a stroke and is now senile..." Oscar muttered offended.
"Fine... You pick a TV show..." Homer sighed.
Oscar puts on the Spanish soap opera.
"José! You've got some 'splaining to do...!" said a Cuban mariachi band player in an annoyed manner.
Homer screamed in horror.
Two characters who are deeply in the embrace of love and romance speak in Spanish.
"I can't even understand what they're saying!" Homer yelled.
Oscar frowned and flicked the channels over.
"Oh George Carlin!" Homer wanted to watch George Carlin complain about things.
Marge arrives with the kids. Everyone is dressed up to go out in thick winter coats. Lisa is also still wearing those cartoon bear ears.
"Gimme back my ears!" Teddy cried.
"Homer get up... You promised that you'd drive us to Lisa's club meeting tonight, remember?" Marge sighed.
"Oh... but George Carlin..." Homer whined.
Marge fumes.
"Uh oh... she seems mad..." said Oscar.
Homer sulked and switched off the TV.
"Now Oscar, if you wanna sit in on a Lisa's club meeting you have to wear these cute, fuzzy bear ears..." said Marge giggling while holding a bear ear headband.
Lisa sighed. "Yes Mom... that's why I chose them as part of the club uniform... because they're cute..."
Teddy was glaring at Oscar.
"Uh I dunno... Teddy still seems fixated on the teddy bear ears..." said Oscar gawking at Teddy, the living teddy bear creature.
Lisa sighed.
...
They all get in the car. However Homer is still determined to watch George Carlin.
"Homer we can't bring the TV with us! Put that back!" Marge nagged.
"We can with enough power cable!" Homer has several extension cords plugged together in a daisy chain to keep the TV on while it sits in the car.
Lisa gawked exasperated seeing the TV in the car.
"And now people of America, here's seven words you can't say on TV, twenty-five years ago!" said George Carlin ranting.
"Actually I think there's more words that you can't say on TV now then you could twenty five years ago, thanks to liberal social justice warriors like Lisa..." Bart seethed.
Lisa glared at Bart.
"Homer turn off that awful George Carlin!" Marge nagged Homer. "Yes I hate him for some reason."
"But he's fighting the system..." Homer whined.
"Well he shouldn't! He should bow down and submit to the system like a good little sheep!" Oscar snapped.
"Okay fine, stay blue pilled, pants-wetting authoritarian..." Homer sighed.
"Must you reference the Matrix every time you're wrong..." Oscar sighed.
"Homer..." Marge sighed.
"Dad this idea of yours is not gonna work..." Lisa sighed.
Homer snarled at her.
"Homer! It's not Lisa's fault that you're too lazy to work the VCR..." Marge berated him.
"Must I remind everyone that VCRs are obsolete now... Everything is On Demand download..." Hugo sighed.
"Uh I forget about current technology..." Matt sighed.
"Well don't... Mr Green Jeans..." said Oscar.
"Lazy Huh? Lazy like a fox!" Homer said smugly. "This is the greatest idea ever!"
"Like penicillin..." Marge seethed.
"Listen up readers... that's our reoccurring gag this episode..." said Oscar to the fourth wall.
Hugo grimaced at him concerned.
"Penicillin stinks. Lisa fetch more extension cords!" said Homer.
"Daaaad! Penicillin saves billions of lives! and your idea to take the TV with us is rather crummy!" said Lisa.
Homer sulked.
In the car, Lisa is squashed in the back next to the TV with George Carlin on it.
"Dad this doesn't seem safe..." Lisa whined.
"Look I let you all talk me out of tying the TV to the roof of the car... but no more compromises!" Homer yelled.
George Carlin looks worried on the TV set.
"Uh Mr Simpson... the Tv's become self aware..." said Oscar.
Homer grimaced baffled.
Some distance down the block later.
"Uh Dad... the Extension cable is about run out..." said Lisa wearing those bear ears still.
"Don't worry Sweetie, TV is magical..." said Homer.
George Carlin looks flustered and peeved about something.
"Now don't you start George!" Homer yelled.
"And I've had it up to here with terminally ill children! It's all me! Me! Me!" George Carlin ranted.
"Right that's it! Turn off that awful man, Homer!" Marge yelled.
Homer sighed and turned off the TV.
...
They arrive at Lisa's club. A hole has been ripped in the side of Homer's car as if the cable ran out and yanked the TV out, tearing a door with it...
"Not one word..." Homer seethed as everyone gave him smug looks.
"Pickles..." Oscar rasped.
Homer snarled and lunged at him.
"Dad let's go inside..." Lisa sighed.
"Okay but do you think it's wise that we left Bart home alone with Grampa?" Homer asked.
Yes they do exactly that...
"He'd only pick on my club and rant about that there's no point in preserving the planet because we'll all die some day..." said Lisa.
"He's a pessimist..." said Oscar.
Homer gawked baffled.
Teddy growled at Lisa because he was still incensed about her bear ears.
Oscar face palmed while holding Teddy's leash.
They all go inside the hall.
The marquee as the passed it read, "Tonight: Kids Environmental meeting. Tomorrow: Popsicle stick sculptures."
"Ooooooh!" said Homer.
"No Homer! You ruined my popsicle stick sculptures when you crashed into them with your ice cream truck!" Marge barked at him.
"Yes but you forgave me for that. Which I was worried that you wouldn't..." said Homer.
Marge grumbled.
Anyhoo they head indoors.
There are many members of Lisa's Enviro-bears club... even Nelson and Kearney some how...
"Lisa promised to get back with me..." said Nelson sat in the circle of folding chairs.
"I have no idea why I'm here..." said Kearney baffled.
Lisa face palmed.
Teddy seethed offended by them wearing cartoon bear ears.
"This is a bear massacre!" He yelled.
Marge hushed the talking teddy bear creature.
"Okay places people. We have a lot to discuss tonight." said Lisa.
"Kermit was right, it ain't easy being green..." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed bemused.
"Frogs on TV shouldn't talk..." Ralph frowned.
"First we shall go round and discuss how much waste we recycled this week..." said Lisa.
Oscar groaned bored out of his skull.
"Buddy I don't want litter in my forest..." Teddy muttered at him.
...
At home.
Bart grimaced concerned that his family left him home alone.
"They left me and Eric too..." said Hugo.
Eric bawled. He's the blue haired youngest Simpson who was born in season 21 of my fanon.
Bart shrugged.
Grampa was sitting in the lounge staring at the mark on the wall where dust hadn't been able to gather because the TV once sat there.
"Hey where's the TV gone?! What is this? 1947?" Grampa ranted.
Bart sighed wondering what went through Dad's head sometimes...
Bart decides to read the crummy comic Dad gave to him for ruining his Z-men comic.
"Ugh... this comic is so ancient... there's no swearing in it..."
Hugo gawked at him while chewing on a fish head.
"What are you staring at... halibut head..." Bart frowned.
Hugo muttered and walked about the house.
He walked about and sighed as thought about school. Hugo liked school, unlike his dim-witted twin. However he disliked being teased or beaten for being smart.
Eric, who was Hugo's baby brother sat in his high chair drinking a baby bottle full of warm milk. Hugo had placed him in the chair deciding someone had to be sensible and see to the baby while the canon characters went out that evening.
Bart read the comic rolling his eyes as it was dull compared to recently published comics.
"That's it Creep! Use your freakishly huge hands and feet to stop our arch nemesis Manifold!" said a character fighting a supervillain.
"Sure thing! Octoclops!" said Creep, the guy with huge hands and feet.
Bart gawked at the comic. "Is this a Z-Men comic?"
It was. Just a far older issue.
Grampa was still griping. "Feh... What am I supposed to do with no TV?"
Bart spotted something interesting for sake in the human interest page at the back of the comic. Ie random things you can order over post.
"Ah ha!" There was a crossbow being offered to anyone who sold seeds.
Bart frowned. He found that to be a stupid hobby, selling seeds. Besides birds attacked Milhouse when he sold seeds.
He phoned the company anyway.
"Uh this is Ol' Gil, working for Sneed's Seed and Feed..." said Gil wearing a red blazer.
Oscar suddenly teleported into the seed store. "Sneed..."
Bart face palmed as he could hear Oscar in the background of the call.
"Are you really offering a crossbow to anyone who sells enough seeds?" Bart enquired.
"Yes indeedy!" said Ol' Gil.
"Whoa Momma!" Bart cooed.
"Hey Gil didn't Sneed's used to be called Chuck's Suck and-" Oscar blurted out.
"Shhhhh! We're not allowed to talk about that..."
Bart rolled his eyes as he can hear Oscar on the line.
And so he bought loads of seeds to sell to get a crossbow...
...
Back at Lisa's Enviro-bear meeting, a recycling, Earth-loving hippy group...
"And I'm afraid we've fallen short on our funding to end world pollution and global warming." said Lisa.
"And world domination..." said Oscar.
Lisa winced at him.
"Look I'm bored, okay..." Oscar groaned.
"We gave our last $1.50 to Reverend Lovejoy to pay for refreshments..." said Lisa.
"Hey it's not as if orange soda grows on trees, Lisa " the Reverend was pouring himself some soda from the soda dispenser.
"It does in my crazy world of pure imagination!" Oscar yelled.
Lisa hushed him.
"Oh crud... does that fruit loop have to be here..." Nelson groaned.
Lisa sighed miserable. "Let's face it., everyone. If we can't think of some way to raise funds, we'll have to shut down the enviro-bears forever..."
"Good! Then you'll stop maiming my brethren to wear their ears!" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature seethed.
Lisa face palmed.
Oscar frowned at Teddy.
"Why don't you agree with me?!" Teddy whined.
"I'll explain later..." Oscar muttered.
Ralph then said something funny.
"Oh! I hate goatal warming! It makes Lisa sad!"
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Gahahahaha! Goatal warming..."
Lisa winced at Ralph, baffled by his comment.
"Ugh... how would a Jesse Grass solve this funding conundrum..." Lisa sighed.
"I dunno since he starved to death by being a level five vegan..." said Oscar.
Lisa frowned at him. "Do you have smart remark for everything?!"
"How about we rob a gas station?" Kearney asked.
"How about no!" Lisa seethed.
Plot 3
At home Bart was mooching around.
Suddenly a delivery truck arrived. Probably ASS, not affiliated with the human ass.
The driver and his assistant dropped off loads of boxes of seeds.
"Uh oh..." Bart gulped.
Hugo's jaw dropped as he saw the crates arrive.
Meanwhile at Moe's.
"Krusty I hate to fuss but..." said Moe.
Krusty sighed. "Out with it..."
"I think Mr Teeny has had enough banana daiquiris..." said Moe.
Mr Teeny was dancing about drunk.
Krusty was slightly bewildered by this.
The Enviro-bears meeting.
"Oh it's hopeless... how will we raise the funds?!" Lisa wept.
"Wait I've just had a great idea!" said Homer.
"Better than penicillin?" Milhouse asked.
"Aghhhhh! Stop going on about that!" Homer screamed.
Oscar chuckled.
"Most people hate penicillin Milhouse but-" said Homer.
"Uh no... we love Alexander Fleming for discovering penicillin..." said Lisa.
Homer seethed.
"Homer leave her alone! Just because your ideas are dumb!" Marge nagged.
"Dumb like a moose Marge! Dumb like a moose!" Homer smirked.
Oscar laughed. "Hehehehe Invader Zim..."
Teddy gawked at him in a stupefied manner.
At home.
"Oh... why didn't I just order those William Tell throwing knives..." Bart groaned as he looked out the window at the crates of seeds on the drive.
"You are so dead when Dad finds out..." said Hugo.
"Like I don't know that..." Bart groaned almost tearing up.
...
Still at the meeting.
"Well what is your idea Dad..." Lisa sighed.
"Oh it will make a lot of money..." said Homer chuckling.
He started removing his pants...
"No, Homer, no! No streaking! It didn't work for Mondale and it won't work now!" Marge nagged.
Homer whined.
"Uh excuse me blue-haired lady but it will work! And I like streaking naked through town! And headless clowns!" Oscar screamed, wanting to get naked...
Marge face palmed.
"Okay that kid is freaking me out..." Kearney whimpered.
"Well I'm sorry if Larry the disgruntled postal service elf is a bad influence on me..." Oscar sighed.
Lisa winced at him.
"Is it later yet..." Teddy frowned.
"Ted if it's about the teddy bear ear headbands..." Lisa sighed.
"I'm an Ewok!" said Ralph.
Oscar chuckled. Teddy cleared his throat for attention.
"Ted I happen to find the teddy bear ear headbands cute..." said Oscar.
"Whoooooo-aaaaat? But-but-but!" Teddy yelled in bafflement.
"I find em stupid..." Nelson sighed.
Lisa frowned at Nelson.
"Sure they're cute Ted. I bet I'd look adorable wearing them as a baby..." Oscar grinned.
Teddy sighed.
"I want to burn some heathen books..." Lovejoy sighed.
"Well don't! Knowledge is sacred!" Lisa berated the reverend.
"And you'll provoke an angry book golem..." Oscar frowned at Lovejoy.
"So during your private time in pampers you want bear ear bands, a teddy bear hooded sweater like Martin's..." Teddy sighed.
"And grizzly bear underwear..." Oscar smirked.
Teddy winced at him. "If you want to be a bear I can turn you into one..."
...
At home, Lisa's room. She's going over the Enviro-bears funds. She moans dejected while flicking through the accounts. They're very low.
Maggie has taken to trying to pull off her cartoon bear ears headband.
Lisa sighed.
"Go Maggie! Go!" Teddy cheered eagerly.
Oscar gawked over her shoulder at the funds, he sighed. "I suppose it's a bad idea to suggest more cutesy teddy bear related items of clothing for the Enviro-bears..."
Lisa lamented but gave him a hard look. "Oz it's a club about protecting the environment... not about being cute..."
Oscar frowned.
"However Martin's teddy bear hooded sweater-jacket would be useful as winter outfits in colder weather campaigns ie chaining ourselves to trees during winter and fall..." Lisa pondered his incredibly lame ideas.
Oscar grinned.
Meanwhile Homer brought the TV back. He plugged it in and sat to watch whatever movie or show was on.
"And now today's movie. A Dracula Christmas." said the announcement.
Homer chuckled.
Grim Adventures Dracula opens his presents, he got a sweater.
"Dracula don't need a sweater! Dracula ain't no jello-selling pervert!" Dracula ranted.
Homer frowned. "Stop cancelling him!"
Marge rolled her eyes. "Homer, Cosby obviously did something..."
"Who gave Dracula coal?!" Dracula yelled.
"Oh there's gonna be a festive bloodbath down in Transylvania..." Homer sighed.
Back to Lisa's room. She is going through the books when Bart runs in sweating.
"What do you want..." Lisa frowned at him.
"I'm in deep trouble!" Lisa rolled her eyes but gave him a chance to explain. "I used Dad's credit card to buy loads of packets of seeds to sell so I could get a crossbow!"
Lisa frowned. "Why the heck do you want a crossbow?!"
Bart shrugged.
"It's still legal in Britain for the English to shoot a Scotsman with a crossbow within the grounds of an English castle..." said Oscar.
Lisa gave him a disapproving look.
...
"Cone on outside, it looks worse when you actually count the boxes..." said Bart.
Lisa frowned at Bart for doing a bad thing.
"Okay Butt Wolf..." said Oscar chuckling.
Bart glared at him.
The drive outside the garage, there sat a large pile of boxes. The boxes of course were full of seed packets.
"How many seeds is that..." Lisa seethed.
"I dunno probably at least 10,000 packets of seeds..." said Bart feeling glum and pondering how Dad would react.
"You should have stopped buying at 9001 packets... then it would be OVER NINE THOUSAND!" said Oscar with glee.
Bart glared at him.
Lisa winced at Oscar. "Oz you're not helping..."
The cat was squeezing herself into the tight spaces between the cardboard boxes. She mewed flicking her tail about.
Oscar laughed. "The cat's in there...
Bart sighed.
They approach the boxes. Each labelled with the name of the plant's seeds inside. Ie a box of daisy seeds, a box of violets...
"Bart you have to make the seed company take them all back!"
"I tried! They just laughed at me!" Bart whined.
"They won't laugh when I bring my Uzi 9mms..." Oscar seethed.
"Oz no guns!" Lisa frowned.
"They laughed at my Bart... my Bart don't like people laughing at him..." Oscar quotes The Man With No Name.
Bart sat on a box in defeat and sobbed. "I'm so dead. Just pour my ashes after my funeral into Apu's Squishee machine..."
"Eeeeeew! Bart no!" Oscar groaned.
Bart frowned at him for not agreeing with the terms of his imminent funeral after Dad finds out he used his credit card again.
"I don't wanna taste you in my Squishees!" Oscar yelled.
Lisa winced perplexed.
...
While Bart lamented the situation he put himself in, Bumblebee Man was looking through the boxes of seeds.
Bart glared at the TV show character. He chased Bumblebee Man away.
"Scat! Shoo!" Bart swings a broom at Bumblebee Man.
"Aiiiiieeeee! Ipero nectar es bueno!" Bumblebee Man screamed as he fled.
"Use your stinger!" said Oscar.
Bart winced at Oscar.
"Look you just upset Ah-Muzen-Cab, the Mayan god of bees..." said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
"Ay yiyiyi!" Bumblebee Man cried as he fled down the block.
"Ay yiyiyi! Master Zordon!" Teddy cried as Alpha 5.
Oscar face palmed.
"I got it!" Lisa smacks her fist into her other palm. "We'll gather up the Enviro-bears and sell the seeds! Thus beautifying the town and after we pay of Dad's credit card debt what's left will go into the club fund..." said Lisa.
"Uh huh..." said Bart.
"But can we do that before Dad finds out and throttles Bart..." said Oscar.
Bart frowned at Oscar.
"Fetch me my lucky clipboard!" said Lisa.
Bart gasped.
The house's living room. Lisa's friends in the Enviro-bears gather. Ie Milhouse, Ralph, Martin, Nelson, Kearney and the Flanders family. They are all wearing bear ears.
"So we're all selling seeds..." asked Nelson.
"Seems like it..." said Milhouse.
"Bart come on!" Lisa whined.
"No! No! Hell no! I am not wearing the dumb teddy bear ears!" Bart yelled.
"Bart you have to, as an honorary member of the club..." said Lisa.
Bart seethed holding the offending lame cutesy bear ears headband.
"Anyway to start this-" Lisa sighed but she gawked at something.
Arale from Dr Slump was poking a mound of poop with a stick.
"Pokey poo! Pokey poo! Pokey pokey poo! Pokey pokey poo!" Arale sang.
Lisa face palmed.
...
The Enviro-bears go door to door selling seeds.
Lisa visits Mayor Quimby, he comes out drunk, holding a cocktail and several ariused yiungbwomen in bikinis are pulling him back inside.
"Ooooooh come back to bed Joe..." and so on they moan aroused.
Lisa winced.
"I'm Uh..."
"Er, em... I'm sorry little girl... but I'm too busy polling my constituents to buy your cookies or whatever..." said Mayor Quimby.
"BUY THEEEEEEEM!" Moofy hurled boxes of cookies at the mayor.
Oscar winced as he wrote this very episode on a tablet device.
"Sir I'm selling seeds..." said Lisa.
"Well Uh..."
"And you still haven't paid me for three boxes of cookies you stole back in Season 19..." Lisa seethed.
Quimby slams the door shut on her.
Bart was at an address selling cookies while wearing the offending cutesy teddy bear ears...
Kent Brockman lives at the address.
Also he is only wearing his swimming trunks...
"We now go live to my doorstep where this veteran off duty news anchor is going to heartlessly refuse to buy seeds from this entrepreneurial young lad, thus crushing his spirit." said Kent.
"A simple no would have sufficed..." said Bart glaring at him.
Billy Madison grimaced irked.
"Kent you are aware your microphone is a snow cone..." Oscar face palmed.
Kent slams the door on them.
"Jeez.." Bart sighed.
Lisa even asked Ned Flanders to buy seeds.
"Lisa we're members of the same club..." said Ned.
"Please... I've had doors slammed on me all day..." Lisa sighed.
"I'm sorry Lisa but I'm walking a fine line between good citizenship and pride! And pride's a sin!" said Ned.
Lisa sighed.
Plot 4