The trip to Treachery had a sudden, unexpected extension.
"Did they take anything?" Lucifer wasn't exactly shocked that someone might try and break into the office of Krampus. This was Hell, after all, and it wasn't uncommon. She was a high ranking Hellborn with a lot of valuable items.
"Nein." She shook her head. "At least, I do not think so. It's my vater's old office, I don't use it..." her eyes cast down to the floor for a moment, "too many memories." She cleared her throat, looking back at her King. "There isn't much of value in there anymore. I want to stay and go through it, but," she gave a small shrug, "I have to work..."
"I can go there with you when you get back, but until then, what do we do to make sure no one tries again? Is this a common occurrence?" Lucifer felt like he had to ask. This could be nothing if lady Krampus dealt with break-ins on a fairly regular basis. But her tone and body language all seemed rather rattled.
"People try, it's not... uncommon. But no one can ever get past the mansion defenses. No one has ever gotten in the office before."
"I see." So that was why she had come to him. An attempted break-in was to be expected, but a successful one had her on edge.
"I have set up guards around the office for now. I am going to do a more thorough investigation when I return."
"I know you're busy. Why don't I help with security and when you're back from your work in the human world we can look into this together?"
"You would do that?" She sounded genuinely surprised by his offer. Admittedly, Lucifer wasn't thrilled about standing around an empty office possibly in the freezing cold, if it had windows, but it might be worth it.
"Anything to give you peace of mind."
"Thank you, your majesty." She smiled, looking genuinely relieved. If nothing else, at least Lucifer could say he helped one of his citizens.
"Just give me one second, before we go. I know you are already running behind, but this is important." Lucifer wasn't about to stay up all fucking night in the freezing Treachery air. He knocked on one of the adjacent doors before letting himself in, closing the door behind him. The servant's rooms in his winter home, while not quite as extravagant as the Master bedroom in which he would be sleeping (and he was going to get some sleep tonight) were still quite nice. He saw the bed was unoccupied, rather, Michael was hunched over at the desk, the glow from the screen of his tablet illuminating a rather distressed looking expression as the Archangel seemed to have fallen asleep at his desk.
Nightmares.
It was one of the tell-tale signs of Corruption. Lucifer didn't know what he was dreaming about, but it probably wasn't good. (The fact that Michael was asleep at all was strange as it wasn't something he had to do. But at the same time, he was injured. That fact was still something Lucifer was struggling to grasp. Michael, the Archangel who was made for fighting this shit, was injured.) He hesitantly put his hand to Michael's shoulder, nudging him gently to wake him.
"Unhand me."
All of the sudden, Lucifer found himself pinned to the wall, hand around his throat. Michael's eyes were pouring flames. The room had grown colder than the frozen lake outside. The Devil could see his own breath crystallize in the light of the flaming sword hovering above him. For a moment, he seized up. The memories came flooding back.
"Michael, stop!" Lucifer's voice echoed in the room and Michael instantly pulled away, the sword vanishing in a burst of icy wind.
"S-sorry!" The Archangel took several steps back as Lucifer stayed against the wall. He braced himself, trying to hide the fact that he was trembling. He couldn't be on the other side of that sword again. "I'm so, so, so-"
"It's fine. I know you were just having a nightmare. A bad one, from the sound of it. But that's Corruption for you."
"I didn't mean to-I didn't realize-"
"You are literally panicking for nothing. I don't even care." Lucifer hoped his voice was steadier than his body. Michael looked horrified by his actions. (Though this wasn't exactly the first time that Lucifer had been attacked for no reason by his idiot brother.)
"Sorry."
"Whatever. You know, most people sleep in a bed."
"I was working. I must have dozed off."
"That's not like you. When was the last time you slept?"
"Sleep isn't really required-"
"You're injured, right? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"It's fine. Angels do not officially require rest." Michael's reply was lackluster at best. It was pretty clear he was trying to Angel-speak his way around the subject.
"Yeah, but most angels aren't dealing with a bite from an Elder God. Raphael had my ass in bed after a Shoggoth I can't imagine he is chill with you staying up all the time to mess with your stupid fucking list that no one cares about."
"To be fair, you were missing limbs from the Shoggoth and the real point of the problem was the bite from Adam that you ignored."
"Adam, who is a human and not nearly as powerful as the guy who gave you the bite that you are actively ignoring."
"Did you come here because you needed something?"
"Did you pass out at your desk?" Lucifer smirked it wasn't often that he felt he had the upper hand on Michael, but this was one time he knew he was in the right. He was concerned, not because he cared about his ex-brother or anything so mundane as that, but rather, because Michael was an important part of Heaven and he was currently standing between Hell and total annihilation. And... well... while he didn't seem to be showing any symptoms (at least, not that Lucifer could pick out from the rest of his terrible personality) he also didn't seem to be purging the Corruption like Adam did. Michael was an Archangel; he was a good-deed machine. And yet Lucifer had not seen him hunched over a trash can heaving his guts out, once.
"What did you need?"
"Krampus said someone tried to break-in. I agreed to help her keep an eye on the office." Lucifer had been intending for them both to keep watch. But, fuck it, Michael needed to sleep. Of course, the angel wouldn't admit such a fact. He was stubborn like that. "I was thinking we could take turns." That way Michael could get some actual rest. "Then I can get back to bed at a decent time. I need rest and it would be such a shame to upset Raphael."
"Uh huh. Well, I appreciate you taking Raph's instructions seriously. But we are different entities in different situations-" Michael's eyes in his halos rolled as he folded his arms. Lucifer pulled out the phone Raphael had given him. The eyes stopped and all focused in on the phone. "What are you doing?" Lucifer gave a smug smirk.
"Oh, you know, just gonna call Raph and make sure that you're cool to be staying up working all the time. You know, since we're different entities-"
"You wouldn't." Michael's eyes all narrowed. Lucifer turned the phone so he could see the screen where Raphael's name was pulled up.
"Try me."
"Fine! Shifts!" Michael held up both his hands in surrender. "Just let me know when you're ready to switch out."
"Give me about four hours. It's already late. You can take over then." Lucifer felt rather pleased with his underhanded method of play. It was a good feeling to know that he was right and Michael was wrong (and that Raphael would back him up).
"Very well."
"And until then, you can sleep!" Lucifer took the initiative to walk past Michael, toward the door, making a grand gesture of patting the Archangel on the back. "Right, Baby Blue?" The Devil hadn't used that nickname since the Fall. The intention was to be mocking, but Michael's reaction seemed less annoyed than he was expecting. Rather, his eyes welled up with tears- even the eyes in the halos.
"Y... yeah I can do that."
"Right. I am going to leave now." Lucifer slowly backed toward the door. Michael just had to go and make things weird.
"I will relieve you when four hours have passed." Michael stood tall like a soldier, saluting, making Lucifer vastly uncomfortable.
"Bye, asshole." And with that, Lucifer closed the door hurrying back to Krampus. "Sorry about that. Security is covered until you return."
"Thank you, your majesty." She looked visibly relieved. "The office is this way. I wish I could stay, but this is my night to go to the human world. I would have already been gone but I forgot to grab my phone- I just need to make sure that no one else gets in."
"And no one will." Lucifer could tell she was worried as he followed her back to the mansion. Rather than going to the office where they had met with her to discuss the Devil's concerns, they went to a room on the third floor. There were guards posted in front of the doors, Krampus's husband was also there, with a long list rolled up in a red bow.
"I hate to leave but-" Krampus started to speak but her husband quickly cut her off as he handed her the list and a birch whip.
"You go, darling, the humans are expecting you. The King is here now, nothing was stolen that we know of. We will be fine."
"Thank you, my love." Krampus took the items kissing her husband before she turned to go. "Merry Sinsmas, my darling."
"Merry Sinsmas, my dearest." He squeezed her hands before letting her go. Lucifer felt a pang in his chest as he watched them. They looked so... happy. He recalled a time when he and Lilith would say such things to one another without the words sounding hollow, empty. Maybe they were simply better at playing the part than he had been. (Just because they didn't seem miserable didn't mean anything. They were still young. Probably newlyweds. Lucifer really had no idea how long they had been married, but if he went back through his mail room, he could probably find a wedding invitation among the piles of Corrupted trash.) Krampus took her leave and Lucifer found himself standing awkwardly in a hallway with her husband and several guards. "Is something the matter, my King?" Xan must have caught him staring. Lucifer quickly looked away.
"It is still weird to see one of War's children and Krampus's daughter together. That's all. I think it's great to see Treachery united."
"Cecilia is my everything. Her father saw that, even if mine never did." Xan spoke with such passion, despite his typically monotone voice, that Lucifer was a bit taken aback. "Krampus or Imp, I could care less. She is my heart."
"Do you guys have any kids?" Lucifer remembered a time when he would have said those same words, his heart burning with fire that had long since gone out. He felt the crippling need to change the subject before he started gagging at the saccharine display. The current topic made him a little uncomfortable. (Xan was clearly overdoing it to be impressive. And it's not like the Devil and his Queen couldn't restore what they once had... probably. She could still come back.) Xan nodded.
"Oh, yeah, a son, Tom."
"Tom?" Lucifer had been expecting something a little more... Demonic sounding for the son of two prominent Hellborn families. (Not that Charlie had the most... classic-sounding name, but Tom Krampus just sounded silly.)
"Yeah, Lysander doesn't talk about his cousin Tom? They're pretty close." Xan looked rather surprised by the Devil's reaction.
"I mean, it hasn't come up." Lucifer shrugged. In truth, Lysander might have mentioned a cousin dozens of times, but the Devil had only recently been present enough to establish any kind of relationship with his staff. (And it was turning out to be a good thing too, as Lysander had connections.) "I do know Lysander lives in Pride, mostly."
"Yeah, his dad married a Sinner. I rest easy knowing that my brother and I, as our father's last two remaining children, would have both left him horrendously disappointed." Xan smirked. Lucifer could sense the family drama was a bit of a touchy subject, so, he decided to refocus the conversation on the reason they were standing in front of a locked door in the middle of the night.
"So, what exactly went down with this office break-in?"
"Cecilia came running to me saying the wards on the room had alerted her to movement. The thing is, the room looks virtually untouched."
"Did the intruder not actually get inside?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Wards are pretty advanced magic, might have scared them off." A ward from Krampus was nothing compared to one of his own, but for a lesser demon, they would be quite impassable.
"They definitely did. The inner wards are the ones that alerted Cici to the intrusion. She said all the outer wards are badly damaged."
"Damaged?" Lucifer tensed. "I want to check the state of the external wards. Can you have your men stand back?" The last thing the Devil needed was to accidentally murder some of Krampus's most trusted people while he was simply trying to investigate. Xan lifted his arm and gestured for the guards to back up as Lucifer turned to look at the door. He was now gladder than ever before that his powers were back as he raised both his arms, his horns penetrated from his skull, the flame igniting between them. The burning light fell on the wall before him and the walls seemed to almost catch fire, the flames traveling in the shape of the seal of Krampus. Lucifer could see the wards on the doors and surrounding walls. Or at least- what was left of the wards. Which was not... much. It looked as if the magic seals had been torn apart... or rather... burned away. As if acid had been taken to the seal without damaging the wall beneath it. "Oh."
"Cici thinks they were not expecting the interior wards." Xan explained, holding his arm out to keep Krampus's men back.
"This isn't amateur work. You were right to come to me. What is in this office that someone might want?" Lucifer returned to his default form and the wards sizzled into nothing.
"Nothing of real value. The important artifacts are all in the current office of Krampus. She didn't want to be in her father's old work space, so all that's in there are sentimental items." Xan's explanation left Lucifer more confused than anything else. Either he was being lied to, or someone had broken into the wrong office.
"Why guard it if nothing was in there?"
"As I said, there are things in there that are deeply important to my wife. While they may not be valuable to others, they are still worth protecting. Also," Xan's expression softened as he looked at where the wards had once been. "Rejuvenating the wards helped her feel closer to her father."
"I see." Lucifer was not one for sentiment. (He definitely didn't care about the old, worthless bow his poor excuse for a clone had dropped on him. Though, Charlie seemed to think it was interesting.) But he could still understand that this room reminded Krampus of her father in the way the entire West Wing had Lucifer reminiscing about Lilith.
"If you would like to look inside and see everything for yourself, I am sure she wouldn't mind. You are the King, after all."
"If you would be so kind..." Lucifer had anticipated waiting for Krampus to return in order to get a full investigation- and while that might still be the case, he wouldn't turn down the opportunity to take a look alongside her husband. He would probably know the office just as well as she did. And he was curious what might be inside.
"Of course." He opened the hulking double doors with ease, gesturing for the guards to remain outside. Lucifer followed Xan into the office as the doors swung shut behind them. The large, bay windows overlooked a dark, snowy landscape. Even the wards on the windows had been burned away. Lucifer surveyed the room in silence, the howling wind outside the only sound. The fire in his horns illuminated several wards along the floor. Some had been dealt with, but the culprit must have forgotten the last one. The ward in front of the old oak desk was completely intact. "What do you make of it?" Xan stood behind him, watching the Devil at work surveying the scene.
"Whoever did this, knew what they were doing. This wasn't just some petty thief hoping to get a taste of Krampus's magic."
"A professional?"
"Possibly, or someone familiar with the family who might know what to expect." Lucifer couldn't be sure. He looked around, there were many pictures on the walls. Mostly of the original Krampus and his family. He saw Cecelia at various ages. He even saw a rather lovely painting of Old Man Krampus with his daughter and her husband on one side, and a War and a translucent looking Sinner Lucifer presumed to be Lysander's other father on the other. He saw a young Lysander in an equally stupid sweater to the one he was wearing when Lucifer last saw him, standing between his parents, and another young Hellborn standing between Cecilia and Xan that Lucifer could assume was Tom. He had his mother's darker hair and high horns. It seemed Xan was telling the truth that the old Krampus had been accepting of War's sons in the family.
"It's nice, but it was a pain and a half to get the boys to stand still long enough for it to be painted." Xan must have noticed his staring.
"It's been moved." Lucifer turned his attention back to the picture. The dust that covered most of the other portraits was lacking on the frame of this particular painting. (Thanks to Adam and his ability to move in reflective surfaces, Lucifer always found himself paying attention to the state of any sort of metal or particularly shiny wood.)
"Oh." Xan came over to investigate what Lucifer saw. "There is something behind it. An old safe. We emptied it out when we moved offices." Lucifer flicked his wrist and the painting was lifted off the wall, floating in midair so he could take a look at what was behind. Sure enough, there was a solid, black safe embedded into the wall. There were scratches in the bricks of ice around the safe as if someone had been desperately trying to open it, and when that failed, trying to dig it out of the wall. They must have been so intent on getting the safe that they somehow missed the ward on the wooden desk. (Or maybe they just accidentally bumped the desk? It was hard to say exactly what happened.)
"You said it's empty?" A part of Lucifer couldn't help but suspect the husband of trying to get some kind of strange, long-term revenge. It was easier to believe he was acting out of bad faith rather than out of real and honest devotion. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." Xan snapped and a dark, frostbitten key appeared in his hand. Okay, so having the key to the safe did make him less of a suspect. He went to the safe, putting the key in the lock. The safe swung open and sure enough there was nothing inside.
"What used to be in here?"
"Magical artifacts. The List, the whip, the ring, but we moved all of that to the new office when Cici decided to take over her father's position. Even then, it's all stuff that she would have with her tonight. So, it seems a little stupid to try-" Xan was cut off as the double doors flew open and Lucifer found himself facing the nearly mirror image of Cecelia's husband. Xan took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh. "Please tell me that you didn't bring the horse into my fucking house." There was the distinct sound of a horse whinnying as the doors slammed back closed. "Lucifer damn it."
"Don't drag me into this. I didn't tell him to bring the horse." Lucifer held up both of his hands. "Though I am relieved to know it wasn't just me he did this too."
"The horse is a status symbol; I needed to use it to get inside." Abdiel didn't seem at all concerned about his rather annoying habit of bringing horses in doors. (Lucifer was even more concerned because they had walked up several flights of stairs to get to this office and he knew from experience that the horse was not great at getting back down. May the windows in the Krampsion rest in peace.)
"The guards know who you are. You don't need the horse." Xan looked... tired. Abdiel seemed to be ignorant of his brother's frustrations as he started looking around inside the old office. (A brother just forcing his way into a situation that didn't involve him? Suddenly Lucifer found that he could empathize with Xan.)
"Yes, I do. It's very intimidating. Plus, how am I going to chase down the sunnovabitch who tried to break into my late father-in-law's office if I don't have the horse?" Abdiel nearly smacked his face into the painting, still floating in the middle of the room thanks to Lucifer's magic. "Oh! Look at that. You moved the painting. Not loving the new spot, it's a little inconvenient, just sayin'." Lucifer had to roll his eyes.
"The painting was moved by the culprit."
"Well, he picked a shitty spot for it. Just another reason we can kill him." Abdiel ducked under the painting as Lucifer resisted the urge to slam it down over his head. "Which makes sense, we all know who did this."
"You do?" Lucifer perked up. Xan rolled his eyes, putting his face in his hand, slowly shaking his head from side to side.
"Not this again."
"Dad!" Abdiel gestured to the claw marks around the safe. "He hates that we are moving on with our lives and now he's back for revenge!"
"Azazel is still alive?" Lucifer knew he wasn't slain by Michael. But after he had his powers stripped, it was only a matter of time before someone did the deed. Azazel had his fair share of enemies, including his own successor.
"No." Xan sighed heavily. "He's not."
"No body, no death." Abdiel brought two clawed fingers to point to his eyes before pointing them at his brother.
"We found parts of him." Xan almost seemed to be explaining the situation more to Lucifer rather than arguing with his brother.
"Not enough. It'll be a cold day in Hell before that old man finally dies. He's too fucking stubborn." Abdiel's tail twitched.
"We live in Treachery, it's always cold." Xan replied flatly.
"Fine, then it'll be a cold day in the rest of Hell." Abdiel tried to wave him off.
"Hell has frozen over at least twice since we found what was left of him." Xan continued to poke holes in his brother's words.
"It's an expression, praise fucking Lucifer!" Abdiel threw his hands up over his head in exasperation as he heaved a heavy sigh.
"I mean, feel free to do so. I'm right here." Lucifer gestured to himself. While he was entirely aware of the fact that also an expression, he couldn't resist. Abdiel squinted at him.
"Touché."
"You think your dad did this?" Lucifer had no real opinion about the state of Azazel. But a suspect was a suspect, and right now he didn't have much to go on.
"Yes." Abdiel replied at the exact same time Xan said:
"No."
"Listen, Kingy, the old man is fucking psychotic. You should have seen him toward the end before Heaven stepped in and cleaned everything up." Abdiel's choice of words made Lucifer cringe a bit. Heaven hadn't cleaned anything. They had made Lucifer's home-life more of a living Hell than it already was. "He cut off my bloody head!" There was an awkward pause before Abdiel added: "it... got better."
"I can see that." Lucifer replied flatly. He didn't know much about what happened with Azazel. He remembered how upset Lilith had been. He never wanted to press the issue because it was always such a rough topic between the two of them. He always meant to follow up with Azrael, but... that clearly had never come to pass. Lucifer had never felt so... out of touch with Hell before. Lilith had been his rock, his grounding force that connected him to his kingdom. He had made this place just for her. And now? Without her it was falling apart. The Devil gestured with his wrist and the painting flew back in place as he walked around the office in silence. He couldn't just settle for being hands off. Not anymore. He never should have let things get as bad as they were now. He had missed so many major events. The deaths of major dignitaries- of friends.
No.
Never again.
He was the fucking King. He wouldn't hand Charlie a dying Kingdom doomed to be swallowed by the Eldritch monstrosities who were trying to beat down the barrier, to rip apart the very fabric that held their worlds together.
"Are you... okay, you're majesty?" Abdiel finally spoke up. It was clear the Devil's silence had made the brothers uncomfortable.
"Fine. Just thinking over the situation at hand. You, if anyone, should know how important it is to be thorough right now." Lucifer's eyes scanned the room. There had to be something, some kind of clue as to what had happened. He stopped as he saw something on the floor, partially hidden under the desk. He picked it up, it was solid, round, plastic... dark black with white markings on the side. The words: Luck of the Pharaoh Hotel engraved on the top. "Was Krampus a gambling man?"
"Not particularly. I mean, he liked it about as much as anyone else, I suppose." Xan shook his head, clearly confused by the question.
"He has a casino token." Lucifer held the round disk between his clawed fingers. "I wasn't sure if that was something that might have already been here." He offered the token toward Xan who took it, looking it over.
"I haven't heard of this place before. What Ring of Hell is it in?"
"I haven't either." Abdiel grabbed the coin from his brother, flipping it over to look at the engraving. "Might not be in Hell."
"Don't tell me that Heaven has Casinos..." Xan looked rather disbelieving of the suggestion. "Or, I guess, Port Gatory."
"There is a casino in Port Gatory, as-a-matter-of-fact." Abdiel waved the question away. As a Horseman it made sense he would have intimate knowledge of Limbo. While the realm belonged to Death, the other Horsemen had homes there. Lucifer wasn't sure exactly how much time they might spend in those houses, but he assumed Abdiel knew his shit when it came to the realm between. "But that's not the name of it."
"It's not some dumb pun, so it's probably not Port Gatory." Lucifer seconded. He vaguely recalled there being a rather nice casino in the city. But the tokens didn't look like the one he had found on the floor. "I think it's from the living world."
"I don't think Krampus had much time for gambling when he made his trips." Xan snatched the token back from Abdiel and handed it back to Lucifer. "Not saying that you're wrong simply saying that if this is from the living world, it probably didn't belong to him. But I can ask Cici, just in case she knows something that I don't. But that seems unlikely given that we cleaned this office ourselves after he passed. I don't think we would have missed something like this."
"Still a good idea to run it by her." Lucifer may have missed his opportunity to help when the family first faced tragedy, however, he could finally do something without prodding from either Michael or Charlie. "But I think we have our first clue."
"So, our thief was a gambler?" Xan raised an eyebrow.
"Seems plausible." Lucifer flipped the coin up in the air and caught it in his hands, examining it once again as it lay on his open palm.
"Plausible? Please, you know they fucking gamble if they played their odds at sneaking in the Krampsion without getting caught." Abdiel spoke up as his brother put his hand to his face once again and let out a noise of frustration.
"Don't call it that."
"I'm gonna call it that." Abdiel stayed firm. Even without the physical similarities, Lucifer had no difficulty telling that Abdiel was Lysander's father. The Devil took more time to explore the office. But, as Xan said, outside of some rather sentimental looking trinkets, there wasn't much in the office of the late Krampus. He wasn't sure why anyone would try and rob this place. Nothing of value was here. If they wanted to send a message, it was certainly a confusing one.
He was a little surprised to see War had come to his brother's side. He couldn't comment on the closeness of Azazel's boys, as he hadn't seen them since before Charlie was born, but War was forbidden by nature from getting involved in the affairs of Heaven or Hell outside of work. He was simply an observer. (Which might be why he hadn't done too much searching on his own.) Still, he had given theories, ideas, no matter how crazy they seemed to be. (Lucifer had no idea how valid the theories might be, he was woefully out of touch. Maybe Satan was right. Maybe he should attend more meetings).
It was starting to feel like Lucifer was supposed to be here. The Cerberus sisters had brought him here for unauthorized barrier crossing. He and Krampus had both assumed it was her own movement that they picked up on, hell, even the sisters seemed to agree. But... what if that wasn't the only movement they had tracked. What if some clever, Hellborn, or Angel, or Abomination knew Krampus would be crossing back and forth today and decided to use that to mask their own crossing. Making it seem as if it were simply Krampus doing her job.
But why attack the old office?
There were my levels to this mystery and Lucifer could stay up for days trying to unravel them all. But he had made a point of capping his time guarding the office. A point about which he had forgotten until there was a loud knocking at the door. Xan hurried to answer it, revealing two guards on either side of Michael, standing in his Virgil form, behind them.
"Sir," the guards bowed in unison. "This is one of the King's servants who requested to speak with his royal majesty."
"Let him in." Lucifer waved a hand, keeping an eye on Abdiel's reaction in particular. Charon had almost instantly caught on to the fact that Virgil was not who he claimed to be. But Charon was an Angel, she was also Death and the nature of the soul was her domain. He wasn't sure if War would be quite as intuitive as his leader. Abdiel's eyes narrowed at bit, his head tilted slightly to the side like a confused puppy, his tail even twitched. "Lord Krampus, War, this is my servant, Virgil. He is my secretary," the Devil cleared his throat, giving his best fake-whisper as he leaned toward the two Hellborn, "more like assistant secretary- Syn does the brunt of the work, if I'm being perfectly honest." It was a bit cathartic to be able to shit-talk Michael while the other could do nothing to stop him, less he blow his carefully crafted cover. Indeed, Michael simply bowed to each of the Hellborn in turn.
"Greetings."
"Why is your assistant secretary here?" Xan looked a little perplexed to see Michael, and admittedly, out of context it was a little weird, but since telling the truth was off the table it was up to Lucifer to do what he did best: lie profusely.
"He used to be a spy for me, up in Heaven before he finally Fell. Not even because of the spying, believe it or not. He Fell because he told the Archangel Michael he looked like a cheap knock off version of the greatest Angel to ever live- which doesn't go over well in Heaven."
"Damn, fuckin' brutal." Abdiel looked rather impressed by the story while Michael's expression was impossible to read as he nodded.
"Indeed. I had quite the mouth on me in Heaven, and Michael is a cruel and short-tempered beast of an Angel."
"Ya know, I met the guy like... twice. Never struck me as the type. But it's always the friendly blokes who'll shove a knife in your spleen." Abdiel seemed to accept the lie without further concern. Lucifer was a bit shocked that Michael had played along. But he really didn't have a choice. Lucifer levitated a bit so he could put an arm around the necks of both Abdiel and Xan'Del'Fiin.
"Listen, I know it's not traditional, but I wanted to give my man on the inside a look at the break-in, make sure Heaven isn't behind it. With your permission, of course."
"It seems unlike Heaven to mess around in the affairs of Hellborn, but I suppose they have been stomping on boundaries since the Exterminations started, so I guess I shouldn't be shocked that this was a possibility." Xan didn't seem quite as sold as Lucifer wanted, but he wasn't protesting.
"The actions of Heaven, as of late, have been underhanded plays of power targeted at Hell, specifically." Michael's words almost made Lucifer do a double take. He wasn't sure if these were Michael's genuine emotions, or if he was simply playing a role. (He never recalled Michael being great at acting, but then again, Lucifer hadn't really interacted with him in thousands upon thousands of years. Maybe he had taken stupid acting classes in Heaven during his down-time.) "The Angels can't be trusted."
"You do have a mouth on you." Abdiel snorted. "No wonder they kicked you out. Well, welcome to Hell, Angel-boy. The weather is shit but the entertainment is to die for. Literally, depending on who you decide to ask."
"Don't tell me you're one of those Love After Death fanatics." Xan rolled his eyes as the Devil still had both brothers in an impromptu headlock.
"Nah, never saw it. But Lysander said the riots afterwards were unlike any he had been to before, so I have respect for it." Abdiel gave a little shrug.
"Oh, right. That whole thing." Lucifer felt like he had been hearing bits and pieces about this drama for some time. But Hell would go through phases of obsessing over garbage for a few months before they collectively shifted onto something new. Sinners like Vox knew how to capitalize on these temporary crazes, but this one seemed to be sticking around.
"If it's not Muppet Murders I don't give a shit." Abdiel looked rather amused by the entire incident in question. "Did you see the teaser?"
"No, it does look good." Xan nodded agreeably. Lucifer vaguely knew that was some show Vox was making solely to help Charlie, so he was a little surprised to see it had gained any traction in Pride, nevertheless as far out as Wrath.
"Check this out," Lucifer steered the topic back to the most pressing subject at hand. He rolled the coin between his fingers before tossing it to Michael who caught it in one fell swoop, unflinching. He glanced at the token before looking back to Lucifer.
"It's from a casino, from the looks of it."
"Yeah, but we don't think it belonged to Old Man Krampus, and I found it underneath his desk. Have you ever heard of this place?" Lucifer couldn't help but feel a bit smug about finding something in the brief time he had been in the office.
"No," the eyeless sockets on Michael's face narrowed, and Lucifer could tell that the eyes in his halos- though they couldn't be seen while he was playing the role of Virgil- were probably scanning the office from top to bottom. "But I could certainly research it. Is it not a casino here in Hell?" Xan gave a bit of a noncommittal shrug.
"It's not one I have ever heard of. Though, I suppose I don't know every Casino in Hell."
"I do." Abdiel replied quickly.
"Do you?" Lucifer looked a tad confused. He didn't know enough about War to recall that he had a twin brother, so the Devil couldn't hazard a guess about his gambling preferences.
"No. He's lying. He's barely ever in Hell." Xan quickly shut Abdiel's claim down. "He doesn't even know that LuluApple closed."
"Wait, for real?" Abdiel blinked. Even Lucifer knew that the LuluApple brand had gone under at some point in time, because the CEO had come crying to him and Lilith about bailing out the company for the good of Hell. Lucifer, of course, had denied them, because a clothing brand really wasn't going to make or break the industry in Hell. (Also, he worsened their issues by filing for copyright, as the apple was clearly his thing. Even if the fruit of knowledge wasn't officially an apple but that was between Eve, Adam, and himself- and possibly the Archangels because they were incapable of keeping their noses out of his goddamn business.) "Well, that sucks. I know their jackets are the warmest in Hell. They were fancy as fuck too."
"Why do you care about jackets?" Xan looked at his brother in disbelief. "We're immune to the cold. We live in ice houses."
"I get them for Yuri." Abdiel replied flatly.
"Oh." Xan seemed to accept this explanation. Lucifer could hazard a guess that Yuri was probably the name of Lysander's other father.
"So, the casino could easily be here in Hell." Michael looked deep in thought. "It should be pretty easy to locate. If we rule out Hell, the next most likely location would be Port Gatory, or the Living World, both locations that are difficult to access without the proper power and tools." If they had not been in the company of Hellborns, Lucifer knew Michael would be on that stupid divine tablet of his. It must have been killing him to be without it.
"We'll ask Krampus when she returns if she knows anything about this." Lucifer couldn't rule out the possibility that this was something that belonged to her. Sure, her husband didn't seem to think that was the case. But every couple had their crippling secrets. Lilith's secret had been that she was planning to leave him.
"I don't think she's seen it before, but I'm sure she'll want to know." Xan was standing firm. That was perfectly fine. Time would tell. But for the moment, they were at an impasse. Krampus had to travel the entire world, and would not be back for some time, and Lucifer was tired as fuck. (He was still recovering, after all, and his constant use of magic probably wouldn't have gotten a seal of approval from Raphael.
"Look, I have important royal shit to do," Lucifer put a hand on Xan's shoulder, patting him as if they were old friends parting ways after a particularly festive celebration. "I'm going to leave Virgil here in my place. You can take him back outside to watch the entrance, if you prefer. I know he's not as trustworthy or impressive as I am. But he does good work, and if you think he's up to anything suspicious, you can kick him out. I don't care." Michael's eyes narrowed in Lucifer's direction as the Devil gave him two thumbs up.
"Nah, I'm sure he's fine." Abdiel waved off the offer of banishment. "Lysander said he's cool. And Syn says he's good at coloring, which as we all know is a true testament to one's character." Lucifer blinked in confusion.
"I get that you talk to Lysander, he's your son, but Syn?"
"I'm in a group chat with her, Sander, and Rusti." Abdiel's answer didn't make Lucifer feel any better. "It's got some really funny memes in it. Did you see the one about the 'hol in bawwier'? I think there was a cat on it."
"Why are YOU in that fucking group chat?" It was Lucifer's turn to bring his hand to his face, slowly dragging it down. "You don't even work for me! I mean, that is a pretty important fact! You CAN'T work for me!"
"I'm not in the work group chat." Abdiel put a hand to his chest looking appalled by the accusations. "I mean, for one thing, yeah, I don't work for you. But also, that would be kind of a lot if I was stalking my son in his work chat. That's the spicy gossip he doesn't want papa seeing, and I respect that. This is the: Trying to Make a Meeting Group Chat. All the Horsemen are in that one. Pretty sure I'm the only one who doesn't have it muted, though."
"I don't love that that's a thing. Not gonna lie." Lucifer folded his arms, wondering just how many other secret chats Syn had with important people in Hell. (Though the mental image of Syn and Rusti spamming the other Seven Deadly-especially Satan and Mammon- with random memes and silly images was actually a little funny.)
"Well, it doesn't actually help us get meetings, if that makes you feel any better." Abdiel mimicked Lucifer's earlier action as he patted him on the back. The Devil simply returned the motion with a rather annoyed glare.
"It doesn't."
"Then I got nothing." Abdiel removed his hand and gave a shrug.
"I'm... I'm going to leave you all now." Lucifer had reached his limit. "I have a lot of things to do, and this is..." he made a vague gesture toward Abdiel and Michael. His beef really wasn't with Xan outside of the suspiciously close relationship he had with his wife (whose father, who hated the family, JUST SO HAPPENED to die- that was probably worth investigating after this whole robbery). "A lot. So... Yeah... I'm leaving."
"Thank you for everything, your majesty." Xan bowed deeply, his tail lifted and wrapped around his brother's upper torso, dragging him into a bow as well.
"Oi!" Abdiel tried and failed to resist being pulled into a respectful position. Xan didn't release his death grip.
"Bow to the King."
"Technically, he's not my King. I'm a free agent." Abdiel retorted, but was unable to say more as Xan shifted so that the tip of his tail covered the Horseman's mouth.
"I will do my best to follow your wishes, your majesty." Michael had to make a whole show of bowing respectfully. He wasn't impressing anyone. Any Hellborn worth their salt would clock that something was off about him. (Lysander and Syn didn't count, as Syn pretty much liked everyone- except, ironically Michael from the Fall ride- and Lysander just didn't care so long as he got his pay check. For a security intern, he didn't ask a whole lot of questions.)
"Like I said, if he causes you problems, come get me." Lucifer headed out of the office. The token was in okay hands between Michael, Xan, and Abdiel. Someone was bound to show it to Krampus eventually.
The guards on the stairs, stationed outside the old office, all bowed as the Devil walked past. It was still a little strange to be out and about. (And not just because Lucifer had to scoot his way past War Horse who had decided to lie down on the floor in front of the door, drooling molten lava out of his mouth onto the icy stairs, causing a giant hole to melt.) No... Lucifer hadn't felt like interacting with the public much since Charlie had moved out.
Then again, an Archangel was hanging out at the mansion, so Lucifer was a far cry from the Devil he once was. He almost wondered if he was making the wrong choice, trusting Michael. All this trouble seemed to be a thousand times worse since Heaven decided to butt in, uninvited. But... Charlie seemed to think this was the right course of action.
Charon had told him he was making a difference.
And since Abdiel had the time to dick around upstairs, rather than having to be out overseeing wars on various planes of existence, Lucifer could assume that things had not yet reverted to the state they had been in during the Shoggoth attack. It was a difficult position to be in, knowing what he knew, letting his daughter- his only light- into a world of darkness and despair. Then again, she was the Princess of Hell. She had found happiness, found love and pride among the animals that were the Sinners. Perhaps... he was doing the right thing after all.
What was it Michael would say?
The right thing often is the hardest option?
Ugh, all this self-reflection was just going to give him a headache. He was too tired to go through some sort of existential journey of self-discovery. He was the Devil, after all, and he was way beyond help, beyond change. His fate was sealed long ago.
He made his bed; it was time to lie in it.
His real bed. Because he had done nothing wrong in his whole life.
He opened the door back to his room. The lights were all off, so the light of the fire between his horns was the only illumination he had to push back the darkness of his massive vacation suite. (Not that he needed the light, he could see perfectly well in the darkness, but the warm glow of Hellfire was oddly comforting. Perhaps, he was just glad to have his magic back.) He walked quietly, taking off his boots, laying them to the side, the plush carpeting felt nice against his fully reformed hooves. He placed his hat on the hat rack, laying his cane against the wall. He waved his hand in the air and the old wards he had put in place years ago when he had built this mansion all fizzled into view. They all appeared to be intact, though they were heavily faded, worn down from neglect. After what he saw in Krampus's old office, he wasn't satisfied. He would need to restore them all, at once. But first, he needed to make sure the rest of the room was clear.
He took off his coat and vest as he moved from the Livingroom into the bedroom. He checked the couch to see it was empty. Lucifer rolled his eyes as he shifted his gaze to the bed. There was a dark lump curled up in the large, fluffy blankets. Lucifer walked quietly over to the side of the bed, dousing the fire between his horns. He could see black and white hair fanned out on a silken pillow case, as the First Man lay curled up. There was a faint light coming from his mouth, the otherworldly glow on the dark half of Adam's two-toned body, had taken some getting used to. Adam was making noises in his sleep; his face was contorted into an expression of anguish. Lucifer needed to wake him up anyway to get his ass out of the fucking bed.
He ran his clawed fingers gently through the black and white locks of hair. Adam let out a whimper, he stirred, Lucifer could see he had fallen asleep with his phone still in his hand. Lucifer caught it before it crashed to the ground. The last thing he needed was Adam to break his only line of communication. (He could barely work a normal phone, God forbid Lucifer make him use something broken.) He put the phone to the side.
"Wake up, asshole, you're dreaming." Lucifer kept his voice soft as he moved his hand to shake Adam's shoulder gently.
"Abel..." Adam mumbled the name, his eyes shut tightly. "Oh God... please... not Abel... not my son..." Lucifer could feel him shaking beneath his touch. A familiar feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. It might have been guilt. But Cain made a conscious choice to do what he did. Lucifer had only given him the power to choose. "...not my baby..."
"Your dreaming Adam..." Lucifer insisted, shaking him a little harder. Adam finally started to open his eyes. The light from his blind eye spilled over his tear-stained dark cheek, as he blinked the sleep away, he sat up, staring at his hands as if expecting them to be covered in the blood of his child.
"Abel needs me."
"Abel is fine. Michael gave you that video, remember? He's with Seth."
"Seth needs me too..."
"Seth is a fully grown adult with a family. He doesn't need you." That may have come out a little harsher than Lucifer intended. "But I know he misses you."
"They're not safe I heard them-" Adam was looking distressed. Lucifer almost wondered if he would have been better off letting him sleep.
"They're perfectly safe. They're in Heaven." Lucifer put a clawed hand on Adam's shoulder, squeezing it. Though... something Michael had said earlier was still ping-ponging around in his brain leaving a sticky chill on Lucifer's skin that he wanted to blame on the freezing temperatures of Treachery... but the cold was burying into his core.
The Angels can't be trusted.
That... was probably just his Virgil persona.
"I heard them..." Adam seemed to be calming down. Lucifer shook the words from his own head. The last thing he needed was to set Adam off again.
"Do you want to see if Michael can let you talk to them in the morning?" Lucifer figured if anyone could do it, it was the head of the Archangels. Adam nodded weakly.
"Yeah..."
"You can watch that video they sent you again." Lucifer fumbled on the mattress until he found the second phone Michael had given to Adam. He scrolled through until he found the video Adam's sons had recorded for him. "See?" He handed it back to Adam who still looked rather out of it. "They're fine. They're right here."
"I heard them, Luc..." at least Adam recognized who he was talking to. Though Lucifer hadn't heard him use a nickname other than dickbag or some play on that, since Eden. "They're hurting. The need my help..."
"There is no pain in Heaven. They're fine." Lucifer slowly started to push Adam back toward the mattress. He was going to have to live with the fact that he wasn't getting the First Man out of his comfortable bed. He was clearly distraught, and making him lay on a couch wasn't going to help his mental state. "Why don't you go back to sleep, we'll talk to them in the morning."
"Sleep?" Adam blinked, but didn't resist as Lucifer guided him back so he was laying in the bed once again, the phone gripped in his hand.
"Yeah, you were sleeping..." Once Lucifer was certain Adam wasn't going to make a run for it, he waved his hand to check the wards in the bedroom. They, too, were worn out. They probably weren't doing their job very well. No wonder Adam was suffering. At least Lucifer had figured it out before he had gone to sleep. (Was it weird that he felt... bad about letting Adam be the canary in the coal mine, so to speak?)
"Oh..." Adam started to curl up in the covers again. Lucifer turned his attention to the wards. He poured his magic into them, rejuvenating them, giving the room protection against whatever might be outside. It was unlikely that Corruption had spread as far as Treachery, but at the same time, Lucifer wasn't in a place to take risks. "Lucifer?" The Devil turned to see Adam looked visibly relieved as the wards flared with power.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you... for taking good care of Cain."
"O... oh. Um, no problem." Lucifer checked the wards more closely. Everything seemed to be in place. Lucifer breathed a sigh of relief. He looked back at the bed. He could see the glow from Adam's eye was dimming. It seemed like he was going to go back to sleep. It was probably for the best to let him stay in the bed. But fuck it, Lucifer's bed was huge and he was the King. Kings deserve the bed. If Adam had a problem with it, he could throw himself back on the floor the way he had done the other morning. Lucifer changed into his bed clothes and started to climb onto the other side of the bed.
"I can't hear the screaming anymore..." Adam sounded exhausted. It wasn't shocking. Corruption made sleep a restless endeavor. No matter how much rest he got, the First Man would never feel relief from that constant fatigue.
"That's good, right?" Lucifer picked the stuffed duck off of his pillow holding it in his hands before tucking it under his arm and starting to slide under the warm, heavy covers.
"I don't... know... I'm still worried." Adam rolled over so he was facing Lucifer from the other side of the bed. (Luckily there was still a great deal of space between the two of them due to the sheer, extravagant size of his bed.) "Not about Cain..."
"I wouldn't tell him that." Lucifer had heard tales of favoritism from Cain, mostly on the divine front, but he always got the feeling that Adam and Eve had favored Abel. Though, Cain was a rather bias source on the matter.
"I can be with him down here... I can check on him. And... he has you." Adam's eyes started to drift closed, the light was getting dimmer. "I know you'll keep him safe." Lucifer felt heat beneath the skin of his cheeks. He rolled over so he was facing away from Adam. He wouldn't say he was protecting Cain, or anything like that. (Though he had stopped him from getting Corrupted when he had found that flower. Though, that was for the benefit of Hell. It wasn't personal.)
"Abel and Seth are safe too. They're in Heaven." Lucifer didn't want to think about the subject of Cain any longer. "Everyone is safe in Heaven."
"You say that..." Adam's voice was getting quieter, he was starting to drag out his words a little more as his mind and body lost the war against the ever-present fatigue. "But..." he could feel Adam shifting in the bed, pulling the covers more tightly around himself. "Heaven... is where I got sick..."
"What?" Instantly Lucifer was sitting up. He turned to look over at Adam, the light from his white eye was no longer visible. There was only a sliver of light from his slightly parted lips illuminating a more calm, serene expression. "Adam?" Lucifer crawled closer. "Adam, did you remember something?" He started to shake the First Man once again. "Adam."
"What...?" Adam cracked the gold and black eye opened, the pale glow was still dim, reflecting his sleep consumed mind.
"Did you get Corrupted while in Heaven?" Lucifer braced himself over Adam, looking down at him for any sign that he was genuinely remembering something.
"What are you talking about?"
"You said Heaven is where you got sick." Lucifer didn't see a single flicker of recognition in Adam's heavy eyes. His head was starting to lull on pillow.
"Dude, I don't fucking remember. I was half asleep." Adam's eyes slowly started to drift closed again. Soon, his breathing steadied.
Fuck.
The moment was gone.
Lucifer flopped back on his side of the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind racing. Either Adam had given him a clue, or the Devil was making a mountain out of some sleepy ramblings. Adam was not completely in-touch with reality even when he was completely awake. It was entirely possible that he was just mumbling nonsense.
In fact, it was better to assume that Adam was mistaking dreams for reality. There was no way he could have gotten Corrupted in Heaven. It just... shouldn't have been possible. Heaven was made to block that shit out.
It was impossible to tell what Adam meant.
Ugh. Why couldn't things just be straight forward for once? Though, Lucifer supposed the Old Ones were never much for being direct.
The Devil held the little duck over his head. It looked a little like Quackers, with the bright yellow colors and rosy cheeks. It was actually quite soft. Lucifer let the plush fall on his chest as he wrapped his arms around it.
He never thought Adam would ever give him a gift, nevertheless something the Devil actually liked. (Though he would never openly admit it.)
He glanced back to see Adam sleeping on the other side of the bed. He looked more peaceful than before. He had the phone with Abel and Seth still playing in his hands. Lucifer shifted in the bed just enough to reach over and put the phone to sleep. Adam would probably want to watch it again in the morning. The Devil settled back in bed, wrapping his arms around the plush once again. It sucked that he had lost his opportunity to further interrogate Adam, but that whole... 'Heaven is where I got sick' comment was probably nothing.
"Night, Adam..."
Lucifer's eyes started to drift closed as he listened to the even sounds of Adam breathing, no longer battling unseen nightmares.
"Happy holidays, asshole."
It was almost funny.
Despite everything.
This had actually been a really good holiday.
A/N: Sorry it's late! The website was down for me yesterday! I hope you are all having a wonderful Holiday season! 3 See you in 2025!