The following several months were difficult, to say the least. While Ellie's fellowship wasn't all that far away, it was an intensive and time-consuming program. Even though they did their best to see each other at least every week, there were a few times when two or three weeks past before they could find mutual availability in their schedule.
John's coworkers noticed he was grumpier and even more stoic than his usually laconic self. They also knew when he'd had an Ellie day, or better yet, Ellie weekend as his calm center seemed to return, at least for a while.
Alex was struggling from missing Ellie, too. While Ellie did make a point to talk to the girl for a bit whenever she called to speak to John, it just wasn't the same. She was quiet and withdrawn, and her teachers at school, daycare, and church school found her more than a few times in a corner crying inconsolably.
Hellen observed that she seemed to be taking Ellie's absence just as hard, if not harder in some ways, than her mother's death and her father's deployment the previous year. She did her best to support her son and granddaughter as they missed the missing piece of their family. The only shining light at the end of the tunnel that was their separation, was that Ellie had been placed in an accelerated program which would last nine and a half months, rather than 18 months to two years. While it did mean a vast reduction of in-person interactions during the program, it did mean she would be able to return home sooner, and hopefully, permanently.
Another thing the family was looking forward to was the wedding of Chuck and Sarah the following month. They had finished their degrees the weekend before, but since the next graduation ceremony wouldn't be for another three months, they chose to not walk but focus on the work they had been doing out in San Francisco. Whatever it was, was very hush-hush, all Ellie or John knew was that the nearly-weds had been specifically chosen, along with another Stanford PhD candidate, by some tech mogul to work on a specialty program of high priority.
"I miss you," Alexandra whimpered over the phone line.
"I miss you too, Doodlebug," Ellie sighed, wiping a tear from her eye as she sat back on the couch she was sitting on, books open around her from the study session she'd been in prior to the phone call. She had already resigned herself to the fact she'd been crashing in the ready room, rather than risking driving the near hour-and-a-half back to Oceanside. Not even during her residency did she truly understand the meaning of 'bone tired' as she did now. "Have you been being good for Nana?"
"Yeah," Alex replied quietly, "I just wish you could come home with Daddy and me."
"I do too, Sweetie," Ellie agreed, "I miss you guys so much, I'm going to try to see you this weekend, and in a few more weeks is Chuck and Sarah's wedding. We'll have a whole week together then." Once again Ellie thanked her lucky stars that the program had a break around the same time as the wedding.
"Okay," The little girl sniffed, Ellie's heart broke at how despondent the girl had become in her absence. She heard a murmur in the background before Alex spoke again, "Daddy wants to talk to you again." Another pause, "Goodnight, Miss Ellie, I love you and miss you."
"Goodnight, Bug, I love and miss you, too." Ellie replied, trying to keep her voice from cracking. A shuffling sound could be heard along with low voices she knew to belong to John, Hellen, and Alexandra.
"Hey Beautiful," John's warm voice was like a balm to her soul, "How you holding up?"
"Oh, you know, I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams and barely holding on by the thinnest of threads," Ellie admitted, "I'm running on caffeine and sandwiches from the staff galley."
"You need to get some sleep, Doc," John lightly admonished, "You can't keep running yourself ragged."
"I know," She sighed, "I'm going to sleep in the ready room tonight rather than driving home. I'm nearly cross-eyed from the research. My only consolation right now is that in another month, my clinic hours start up, which hopefully won't be at time consuming."
"You know, there's no shame in taking a step back and trying again or transferring to the longer program," He reminded her, "I'd be just as proud of you finishing in two years as I would by this Fall."
"Yeah, I know, but the hard part is almost over, I just want to finish so I can move on," She rested her head on the back of the couch, "We can move on."
"I get what you're saying," John acknowledged, "But you're there to learn and eventually work at a hospital, not be admitted to it after fainting from exhaustion. I want you to get some sleep once we get off the phone."
"I will, or at least once I finish the last little bit of my research." Ellie yawned audibly.
"Eleanor, I'm not kidding," John's voice took on the stern tone he used when Alexandra was resisting going to bed. "No more research tonight, you need to go find a bunk and sleep. I'll come down there and make you if need be."
"Will you tuck me in and kiss me goodnight?" She teased.
"Don't tempt me Ellie Faye," John rumbled low. They were quiet a moment, "God, I miss you something fierce, Doc."
"I miss you too," Ellie agreed, "I wish I could come home to you."
"You will," He affirmed, "We just have to get through this, and you can come back home with us forever."
"God, that sounds good," She sighed wistfully. "When can forever start?"
"As soon as you say the word, Beautiful," John replied low in her ear, "But for now, we should say goodnight and hit the rack. I've got a long day at the range tomorrow making sure these idiots they call recruits don't shoot each other."
"Yeah, I've got another long day too," Ellie sighed, "Two more nights until I can see you."
"I'll see you sooner in my dreams." John countered. "I love you."
"I love you too," Ellie replied. They hung up, glad they'd been able to talk, but still feeling as if a big part of themselves were missing. In some ways this was so much worse than when John had been deployed. Then he was too far away to make it feasible to see each other. Now they were barely and hour and a half from each other at any given time, and this so close but yet so far stuff was killing them.
True to her word, Ellie closed the books she was using for research and loaded them into her bookbag along with her notepad and pens. Slipping the strap of the bag over her shoulder, she made the short journey from the lounge to the ready room. The room was dim enough to sleep, but with just enough light to see if the beds were vacant or not. One of the lower beds was open, as was a nearby locker. She stowed her bag and grabbed a set of sheets along with a pillow and blanket from the linen closet. Quickly making up the bed, she toed off her sneakers and slipped into the bed, thanking Hellen's foresight in finding her comfortable scrubs that she could sleep in, when needed.
As she drifted off to sleep, she let her mind wander, imagining what her life would be like, once she was done and her life had settled down again. In her dreams, she called John's home her own. John, Alex, and she were a family, in some of the dreams it was just the three of them, but in her favorites, there was another child or two. They had blonde or brown hair, and light-colored eyes that were a mix of John's mesmerizing blue and her own green. There was also the bittersweet fantasies of telling John he was going to be a father again and seeing his eyes light up in wonder, love, and joy; an experience he never had with Kathleen.
A while north in Oceanside, John lay in his bed, similar dreams gracing his subconscious. He dreamed of coming home to find Ellie, a test in her hand and a wide grin lighting up her radiant face. It still pained him that he was robbed of those moments with Kathleen, but it didn't stop him from fantasizing about how Ellie would look, their child held protectively in her womb. The small changes that would come little by little, the small bump that would appear and begin to grow as their family expanded. He wondered if they would have a girl, the spitting image of her mother who looked up to her big sister, or perhaps a son to follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfather before him. Hell, with the brains from its mother's side of the family, the kid would likely be a genius like its uncle.
Regardless of what the future held, the only sure thing was that they would face it together, as a family… or at least they would once John got up the gumption to ask Ellie one of the most important questions of their lives.
The next several weeks passed at a snail's pace and in a blink all at once. They had just landed at the Monterey airport and were waiting in baggage claim to collect their luggage. Even though it meant a longer drive up to Palo Alto, it allowed them to borrow a vehicle from the motor pool at the Naval Post-Graduate school.
To that end, once they'd found their bags and headed out to the curb, they saw a dark SUV being driven by a sailor who promptly parked and rounded the vehicle to greet them. At John's grunt of acknowledgement, the sailor opened the doors and the rear hatch to load up the luggage while John assisted Ellie in installing Alex's booster seat and getting them both situated, along with his mother in the rear of the vehicle before claiming the front seat. Once the sailor had finished loading up the bags, he took the driver's seat and, putting the SUV into gear, pulled out into traffic and toward the Naval installation.
"Welcome to Naval Service Activity Monterey," The sailor announced as they cleared the gate. "We should be at the motor pool shortly. If you have time during your visit, I'd strongly advise checking out the aquarium, cannery row, and Asilomar."
John grunted his acknowledgement, earning him an eye roll from his girlfriend who gave their currier a smile in the rearview mirror.
"Thank you for your suggestions," She met the young sailor's eyes, "I don't know if we'll have the time on this trip but will bear them in mind for our next visit to the area."
Her response earned an appreciative smile from the sailor who turned down another road leading to the annex and the motor pool. "Here we are, Captain Casey, you can collect your keys inside. I'll get your luggage unloaded while these lovely ladies wait for you to check out your transport."
"Thank you, Seaman," John nodded and exited the car, assisting his mom and Ellie out before heading into the building. As promised, the sailor had unloaded their luggage and had them lined up in an orderly row by another SUV. It was clear he had known which vehicle that John was to be assigned. John promptly dismissed the sailor and proceeded to load up the luggage while Ellie installed the booster and got Alexandra situated in the back seat with her grandmother. By the time she was done, so was John, who led her to the front passenger door and opened it, giving her a kiss before assisting her up into her seat. A moment later, he took his place behind the wheel, and they were off toward Palo Alto.
With everything going on, they had opted to book a couple rooms at a nearby mid-range hotel not too far from not only Stanford, but the nearly-weds' home as well. Since the family and friends of the happy couple were a bit far flung, the stag and hen nights were held a few days before the wedding. Hellen, naturally, stayed at the hotel with Alexandra as John had been invited to join Chuck and his friends for a night out while Ellie joined Sarah's hen party.
Much to John's relief, Chuck wasn't much of a party guy, nor was he one to be comfortable frequenting gentlemen's clubs. Instead, the group of men, consisting of Chuck, his best friend from childhood, Morgan, a couple of his frat brothers, and John, headed to a high-end steak house in San Francisco. Afterwards, they headed to a bar for a few rounds of drinks while they celebrated Chuck's upcoming nuptials.
Morgan had joined Chuck's frat buddies in a game of darts leaving Chuck and John at their table, each nursing a couple fingers of scotch.
"So, John," Chuck broke the relative silence at the table, "Any progress on what we'd discussed when I was down for Christmas?"
"No, at least not yet." John admitted, "Figured it was a bit cliché to do it while you two were in town for the holidays. We barely had the time or energy to do anything on Valentine's Day. I'm not dumb enough to pull attention from you and Sarah on your big day, your sister-in-law would eviscerate me if I even considered it."
The men shared a chuckle, both aware of the volatile nature of the DEA agent.
"So, any plans as to when?" Chuck asked, earning an arched eyebrow from the man who would eventually be his brother-in-law, "I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, big guy, it's mostly just curiosity."
"These last several months since your sister's fellowship started have been difficult," John admitted, "Not that it's diminished me wanting a future with her or anything. At this point it might seem like it's a knee jerk reaction to make sure she stays in my life. I'm tempted to wait until her program finishes."
"Do you really want to put it off that long, though?" Chuck asked.
"Hell no," John grunted, "If I had my way, I'd take her to the courthouse and make her mine tomorrow. I also know that's not fair of me to do, seeing as we still have several months before we can have anything close to resembling a marriage, and that's saying something as someone who grew up a military brat and the way marriage works when one or both parties are in the service. I also want her to have everything she's ever wanted."
"Ellie's not really one of those women who dreams of a big wedding," Chuck advised, "Ever since our folks took off on us, it's just been the two of us. She'd probably be okay with something intimate, immediate family, a few friends, and a justice of the peace."
John grunted his understanding as he processed what Chuck had said.
"Again, not trying to tell you how or when to pull the trigger, so to speak," Chuck reiterated, taking a sip of his drink, "But unless you want to wait another year to make Ellie your wife, it might behoove you to ask sooner rather than later. If you keep the wedding simple, you could probably get married not too long after she finishes her fellowship."
"You make a lot if sense," John admitted, spinning his half-drunk glass on the table in thought.
"If nothing else, talk to her, see where her head is at," Chuck added, "If I know my sister as well as I'm sure I do, she's in the same place you are, wanting to move forward, but unsure at the timing."
John nodded and lifted his glass to swallow the last of his scotch.
"Well, now that we've gotten the touchy feely stuff out of the way, I think it's time to hustle my buddies at pool," Chuck down the last of his drink, "If you'll excuse me." He stepped away from the table, "Hey Morgs, how about some billiards!"
"You're on!" The shorter bearded man grinned and headed over to the table where Chuck was already racking up the balls.
"Why don't you just grow a pair and ask her already instead of making goo-goo eyes at her all night?" John groaned at the sound of Carina's voice as she stepped up beside him, a glass of wine in her hand. It had been a few days since his talk with Chuck.
He'd gotten back to the hotel late the night of the stag party, Ellie had just been dropped off, and had clearly enjoyed herself at the hen party. She was tipsy, not all the way drunk, but probably had had a bit than she probably should have. Combined with the hour, it was best to just go to bed, so he'd guided her up to their room where they'd showered, brushed their teeth, and hydrated before going to bed to fall asleep in each other's arms.
The next day had been the final fittings for their dresses to make sure all was as it should. They'd been able to briefly talk the next day, she admitted that she wanted to take the next step with him, whenever that might be. However, she was still dealing with the after affects of the overwhelming start of her fellowship. The practicum and clinic hours would start after they returned home, so hopefully that, along with this week away – as busy as it was – wouldn't make things worse. As it stood, the clinic and practicum hours were a bit more reasonable, so that at least a step in the right direction.
"Hey, Devil Dog, I'm talking to you," The redhead's grating voice sounded again, earning an annoyed growl from the Marine turned NSA agent.
"What do you want, Miller," He grunted.
"Me, not a thing," Carina shrugged carelessly, "Although I would appreciate not having to compete with a slipping hazard every time you drool over your sweetheart."
John rolled his eyes and went to walk away. Unfortunately for him, Carina followed.
"Seriously, Casey, when are you going to make an honest woman out of Bartowski's sister?" She asked, "I mean you already broke the golden rule of spies, 'Don't fall in love,' so you might as well just go for it."
"The timing ain't right," John stated simply.
"The timing isn't ever going to be right," Carina rolled her eyes, "Just take your shot and see where it lands ya. I'm not one for all that love and marriage crap, I'm too young to be tied down." She got an impish smirk on her face, "Okay so may be that's not entirely true, I mean a little bon…"
"Miller," Casey warned with a low growl.
"You're too easy," She laughed. Carina was quiet for a moment before speaking again in a serious tone, "Look, I watched as my sister fell in love with that curly headed idiot over there," She nodded toward where Chuck was entertaining Alex, using voices and silly faces as he told her a story. "And I've seen the way you and Ellie look at each other. It's the same way Chuck and Sarah look at each other. We all know what her answer is going to be. Why not just ask?"
"I don't want to take away from the reason why we are here," John sighed.
Carina gave him a once over, "Who says it will?" She challenged, "I know you've got the ring in your left front pocket. If you keep playing with that box, people are going to start thinking you're playing with something else. Not that I wouldn't want to watch that."
John grunted a short laugh at her humor.
"You don't have to make a big production over it," Carina shrugged, "That path leads to a quiet area overlooking the bay, it's beautiful at sunset, which is in less than 20 minutes by my watch. Do the deed and come back."
John gave her a considering look, "You know for someone who doesn't go for all that 'love and marriage crap' you sure know how to pick a romantic setting."
"Seduction 101," Carina shrugged, "I passed Infiltration and Inducement of Enemy Personnel the first time, unlike some people."
"Roan had it out for me," John grunted.
"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Johnny boy," Carina smirked, "Now go get you woman while you still have the light."
John quickly weighed the pros and cons of what he was about to do before crossing over to where Ellie was speaking with Sarah. "Excuse me, do you mind if I borrow her for a moment?"
"Be my guest," Sarah nodded.
"Would you care to take a walk with me, Doc?" John offered is arm, a charming smile on his lips.
"I would be delighted to," Ellie smiled back, taking his arm and letting him lead her outside.
"How'd I do?" Carina asked her sister.
"Perfectly," Sarah smiled, "It was driving me crazy watching those two circle around each other. They both know what they wanted, they're just too chicken shit to do anything about it." Sarah's brain caught up with her words and she cast a wary glance over to where Chuck sat with Alex telling her a story, neither seemed to have heard her.
"Now all we gotta do is wait," Carina observed.
"And not make a big deal of it, once they come back," Sarah added, "No matter what the result their not-so-impromptu rondez vouz."
"Agreed," Carina nodded, "Care for another glass of wine?"
"Just one more," Sarah nodded, "Don't want to be hung over tomorrow."
"You know, I have pills to help with that," Carina offered.
"I'd rather not," Sarah shook her head, "Thanks for the offer though."
"Your loss," Carina shrugged as the ladies made their way over to the bar for a refill.
John and Ellie walked quietly along the path behind the rehearsal dinner venue. It wasn't too cold out, considering it was early spring in San Francisco. The sky was already starting to change colors as it prepared for the immanent setting of the sun. Rounding a bend in the path, they came to an overlook giving them an unobstructed view of the Bay and out toward the ocean.
"It's so beautiful out here," Ellie sighed, looking out over the water, "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"
"Yes," John spoke with a quiet intensity that caught her attention. Her eyes met his, overwhelmed by the emotions he only ever dared showed her, "Every time I'm with you. Words cannot even begin to express how amazing you are. Not only did you step in to raise your brother when your parents couldn't anymore, but you have helped me over the past several months in raising Alex. It's been nearly a year since I found out about her, and I don't even know how I would have made it without you by my side helping me with her."
"You would have found a way," Ellie insisted.
John took a deep breath, running his hand nervously through his hair, "This isn't even about her, at least not entirely. This is about us, the two of us, and the family I hope we will have together. I know we kind of left things up in the air the other night about if we should wait or take the next step. You can tell me to take a long walk of a short pier if you think I need to cool down…"
"John," Ellie lifted her hands to his face and pulled his head down until his eyes met hers, "Breathe," She led him in a few deep breaths until his nerves settled a bit.
Words failed him at that moment, but he knew that there weren't but a few that he really needed, "Thanks," He smiled at her, taking her hands in his and lowering them from his face until they were clasped between them. He met her eyes one more time, seeing the love, reassurance, and trust she had for him, giving him the strength he needed to do what he needed to do.
He smirked at the watery smile she gave him as he lowered himself to on knee, his eyes never leaving hers as he released her hand to reach into his pocket and retrieve the box, opening it to reveal the ring, "Eleanor Faye Bartowski, I love you beyond what words can express, and can't imagine my life without you. Would you please do me the great honor of being my wife?"
Thankfully for his nerves, he didn't have to wait long for an answer, her smile said it all before the words ever left her lips.
"Yes," She gasped, "Oh my God, yes, John! I love you so much!"
With a grin, John removed the ring from its velvet cushion and slid it on to the ring finger of her left hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckle once the ring was in place. Standing, he pulled her into his arms for a searing kiss, which she eagerly returned. One of them moaned in pleasure, but were so lost in the moment, they couldn't tell who had vocalized their sentiment.
Eventually, their kisses slowed, and they embraced, basking in the glow of the setting sun as the last streams of light winked out over the horizon. The solar lights along the trail flickered to life, lighting the path back to the venue.
"John, as much as I want to scream it from the roof tops, I don't want to detract from Sarah and Chuck's big day," Ellie spoke softly, stepping back to meet his eyes, "I'm not embarrassed to be your fiancée or anything, but out of respect for them…"
"I get it," John nodded, "And I agree, we can wait to tell them until after they get back from their honeymoon. However, I don't want to hide, either."
"I don't either," Ellie agreed, "You will have to pry this ring from my cold dead fingers."
"So, not hiding, but not making any announcements, yet," John confirmed.
"Yeah, I think that's for the best," Ellie nodded, and they headed back toward the venue. "When do you want to get married?"
"That depends on what you are comfortable with." He shrugged, "I don't want to rush you."
"John, I'd marry you tomorrow if Chuck and Sarah didn't already have dibs." She chuckled, "I don't want anything fancy. Alex, your mom, Chuck and Sarah, maybe the McGillis's and a few friends, on the beach or at our chapel."
"Time frame?" John asked.
"TBD?" Ellie arched an eyebrow.
"Fair enough," John smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Alright, once more unto the breach."
"That's a bit morbid considering," Ellie challenged him, "But I get your meaning. Now lets get back in there before someone realizes how long we've been gone."
"I love you, Doc," John stopped her just shy of the turn that would put them in plain sight of the venue and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I can't wait to marry you."
"I love you too, Marine," She smiled into the kiss, "I can't wait to start our life together. You ready to go in?"
"As ready as I can get." John replied, taking her left hand in his right, in hopes that it might obscure her new piece of jewelry long enough for the even to wrap up.