24th of Last Seed
The courier is off today with a note to not-Erik to see what the resistance there is most in need of so we know what to send them. Ulfric's agreed to send a detachment of Stormcloaks with the traders ostensibly as caravan guards. They'll be hiring some new guards in Hammerfell for the return trip. Kai and I will see them to the border. Ri'saad doesn't want to disrupt any of his current caravans since they're apparently quite successful but he's willing to offer Rishima her own caravan and have Ra'Naar be one of the guards. We'll see what they say, but if they accept, I'm sending Argis with them.
First reason is that Argis can keep an eye on both them of them. I don't know them that well so there's not much trust there. The second reason is that Argis can keep training Rishima to fight. The more she learns the less fearful and more confident she becomes. Rayya's been working with her on basics like moving in armor and how to use a sword and bow. I trust Argis to keep them out of more trouble than they can handle and he's been bored, twiddling his thumbs in Markarth. This will definitely give him something to do.
27th of Last Seed
We've spent a few days roaming around, locating these Imperial camps. I keep offering to pay their travel home or even escort them into Bruma. So far, I haven't had any takers, but they can't be allowed to remain here causing trouble. I wish that they would take me up on my offer. They're too proud to surrender. We did finally get one camp to talk to us today. I was hopeful that I might be able to persuade them to just go home. Then the dragon attacked and we ended up fighting them and the dragon at the same time. There was a time, before I came back home to Skyrim, when I might have worn that same uniform with pride. Not any longer. Not after what we found in all those basements. Not after what I've seen the Penitus Oculatus doing with their prisoners. Not after what I've seen in Bruma.
If I had more time with this last group of Imperials, they might have accepted my offer. I was ready to start pulling things out of my pack and showing them many of the documents and things I've collected. The letters from Tullius warning the Battle-Borns to quit asking about Eorlund's son, Iron-Heart's journal, some of the things we found in those basements. Rikke and why I joined the Stormcloaks in the first place. I'll keep trying, but for now I think I'm going to go bury my face in Kaidan's chest for a while. All of this iust leaves me sad and disappointed.
That treaty didn't save the Empire, it doomed it. This is just a slower demise than an outright war against the Thalmor. A war, I might add, that we probably could have won. We blooded them quite well at Red Ring. It would have been ugly victory but it would have been a victory. I stand by what I said before about scared little men sitting in chairs too big for them. I haven't gotten any of the Thalmor to admit to this but I think their plan is to keep removing everyone with a bit spine to them so that when they do finally show up to wipe everyone else out, no one will resist. They seem to think that if they can wipe out all humans, they can return to being Aldmer and go live in Aetherius. Bah!
Most of the Thalmor are even snobbier than dragons. Dragons, at least, have a reason for not talking to joor. Joor spent a long time killing all the dragons so I can see where that doesn't put things off to a good start. Joor also aren't that interesting to a dragon. Just as they're getting to know us, we die of old age. Dragon friendships take centuries or even millennia to form. It's like me trying to talk to a grasshopper. Even then, if you ask politely, most dragons will simply decline. If you ask "Aal mu tinvaak?" (Might we speak?) a curt "Nid" (No) is your most likely response.
The Thalmor are more likely to respond with some smarmy, sarcastic remark designed to bait you into attacking them. The Thalmor plan to wipe out everyone who isn't Altmer and plenty who are. The Thalmor's fatal flaws are their arrogance and lack of subtility. To quote Taliesin, "If the Thalmor knew how to bring dragons back to life, they'd be trumpeting this news everywhere like a Nord finding out his curved sword was blessed by Dibella herself." That's why they're so rude and blunt about all the rest of us being beneath them. That's what I learned from reading all those missives and files that I took from the Embassy. That's what I learned from talking to the Justicars who would speak to me. That's what I've learned from Taliesin and Nelecar and Faralda and Orothorn and Nirya. .
I've also learned that they do a ton of surgery on themselves to make themselves look more like their Aldmer ancestors. Lots of stuff about the purity of the blood lines and all that. If you were here now, you could see me rolling my eyes. If you're doing major surgery to alter your appearance as a very young Altmer, your offspring aren't going to inherit those carefully sculpted looks. They're going to look like you before all of the surgery. Seems like the future spouse might be a bit angry at the deception of it all, given that they try to breed themselves with more care than Shadr does our horses. Yet, I'm told that this is not the case. It might be the most nonsensical thing I think I've learned about Altmer culture. If someone surgically altered a horse and I found out about after breeding it, I'd be angry. I might even want a refund and make the previous owner take the horse back.
Durnehviir is stronger for being out of the Soul Cairn for most of a few days. He's got the power of flight back outside the Soul Cairn and we've had some time to talk. He's well aware that the Ideal Masters will never let him go, but that's not going to stop him from trying. I don't even begin to know how to free him from that. I've slaughtered plenty of necromancers but I know nothing of the art at all. I've suggested that he spend some time talking to Serana's mother Valerica about it. She's quite skilled as a necromancer and might have some ideas. Durnehviir said that he'd ask her, but is doubtful that she'll know more than he does since he's a very old dragon who's been practicing necromancy long before he ended up in the Soul Cairn. He's been in the Soul Cairn almost as long as Valerica has. If the start of Serana's nap is any indication, about 4600 years, give or take.
We did talk about his abilities and he thinks he might be able to call up some Akaviri ghosts. Durnehviir is one of the few that I've spoken to that knows much of anything about the Akaviri. He thinks that he might be able to call up Kaidan's mother at least long enough for us to get some names for a Proving Festival. He feels like Kaidan can probably learn the Akaviri Kiai but says that it's not quite the same as Thu'um. Durnehviir says that its closer to the old Dwermer Tonal Architecture in many ways. He's heard Kiai but knows nothing of how it works or if Kiai can be combined with Thu'um like shouting together with the other Tongues. According to Durnehviir, the Akaviri were bruniikke - savages and barbarians - killing every dragon that they could so he avoided them. Had they been more deliberate in their actions, I might well have more dragon allies in the fight to come.
Not all dragons attack or threaten people and settlements, just as not all were-beasts attack or threaten people and settlements. Why did the Akaviri have to be so heavy handed with everything? No wonder the Blades, their successors, are so intent on slaughtering all the dragons. Dragons prefer to eat trolls and lots of other problem beasts. I'd rather have a dragon who lives high up on a mountain and bothers no one than trolls who routinely hunt people for food.
29th of Last Seed
We found ourselves near Ivarstead so I decided to pay Paarthurnax a visit to consult him about a great many things. We talked about the war with the Thalmor, taking the Empire, Hammerfell, Morrowind, Valenwood and Elsweyr. Paarthurnax doesn't think that the Khajiit will ever align with us because many of the Khajiit think that the Thalmor gave them their moons back. The Khajiit call the moons Jone and Jode. Moons, to the Khajiit, are a pretty big deal. Even what kind of Khajiit they are depends on when they're born during the lunar cycles. Much of their religion also centers around the moons with things like the "Two Moons Dance" and the Dro-m'Athra, the perverted ones who exist outside of the light of Jone and Jode. Paarthunax may have a point and he's given me a lot to think about before approaching the Khajiit.
We also talked about Durnehviir and Paarthurnax cautioned me not to trust him, which I don't. Paarthurnax agrees with Durnehviir's sentiments about the Akaviri being blood thirsty barbarians with the dragons and wonders why Durnehviir would offer to see if he could call them up. I explained the price of Durnehviir's help - namely quite a few black soul gems and Paarthurnax is suspicious. I don't think Durnehviir would try to do anything to me but the rest of the Merry Band might be at risk. Since he's already tried Soul Tear on me and failed, I don't think he'd try that again, but Kaidan, Rayya, or Jenassa... There's more than one way to hurt an enemy. That's something to think on.
Paarthurnax laughed when I told him that Durnehviir has given my dovah the first word of a name. He asked me what it was so I told him - Qahnaarin. He looked thoughtful at that for a long moment and told me to be wary of becoming arrogant in my power, like Alduin. Qahnaarin is a "stronger" word even than Paarthurnax or Odahviing have in their names. I got a long lecture on the naming conventions of the dov and why those conventions exist. Not only does each word encompass something fundamental about my dovah, but dov names enhance those aspects or traits of the dovah they're applied to, once the names are given. I don't hate being named Vanquisher but Paarthurnax says I should be extremely wary.
Dov names create a fundamental tie with the dovah they're applied to. Each word should encompass some aspect of my dovah such that if someone like the Greybeards or another dov were to utter it, I would be able to sense it and respond, no matter the time or distance between us. They might even be able to use to it call me up even past death. Dragon souls are eternal, even when the bodies are not, unless devoured by a sossedov. This is part of how Alduin was able to call the dragons back to life. It is for this reason that dragons guard the secret of their names. This is why Alduin refused to name most of the dragons and only named the ones that he trusted the most. He didn't want other dragons or even people to be able to call them.
Paarthurnax urged me not to let Delphine or any of the Blades know about any of this. I don't plan on ever telling Delphine anything, ever I don't absolutely have to. We don't get along. I know she's lied to me on several occasions and so has Esbern, probably at her insistence. She lied about knowing Brynjar, Kaidan's guardian. She's lied about knowing where Akaviri are. Now that I've caught her lying a couple of times, I know what her tells are. She tried to force me to kill both Paarthurnax and Odahviing, even after they helped me. She tried to get me to kill Durnehviir, but as long as he remains helpful, I'm not killing him either. Of the three, I trust him the least. Only the stupid kill their own allies and I'm not stupid. I trust Paarthurnax and even Odahviing far more than I trust Delphine. If I'd been less skilled, I'd have died in the Thalmor embassy she insisted on sending me into. If I'd died there, Alduin would have ended the world. IThe Blades exist to serve the Dragonborn and she should be following my orders, but won't. think, out of the four of them, if any of them tried to end me, it would be Delphine.
Taliesin was right again and frankly, I'd rather listen to the ex-Justicar than Delphine. I think she's jealous because she's not the Dragonborn but secretly wishes that she was so that she could go kill all the dragons. She's just a washed up Blade and the remnant of a defunct order. She keeps asking me to help recruit new Blades. Why in Oblivion would I bring you anyone so that you can turn them against me? Let me think about that for a moment... No. I'd rather get Esbern away from her and have Taliesin, Esbern and Kaidan re-found the Dragon Guard. My vision for the Dragon Guard includes magic.