After managing to stay awake through the entire movie, Liv advised Noah it was time for bed. His protests and insistence he was "not tired" were somewhat contradicted by his yawns and the rubbing of his eyes. Liv kissed him on the cheek and told him to go to bed, gently reminding him to brush his teeth. He mumbled his agreement and headed sleepily towards the bathroom, as Liv tidied his drawings.
Although she had glanced at them whilst he had been drawing them during the film, she had not been able to get a clear look at all of them. He had proudly shown her some of his favourite pieces, which included a drawing of Liv with a huge belly, and another with what she presumed was supposed to be a baby version of ET in a bassinet. She flicked through the remainder of Noah's drawings, which were all in a similar style, and chuckled to herself. Until she came to the final image.
The last picture she examined was a drawing of Liv, Noah and Rafael Barba. Rafa was on the left, Liv was on the right (and had been drawn with a large belly) and Noah was in the middle, holding both of their hands. Noah had drawn grass, and flowers, and blue sky and a bright sun, and the picture was beautiful. Liv felt her throat tighten slightly, and she stared at the picture for some time. Was this what Noah wanted? A small smile played on her lips, as she picked up the ultrasound image and held it with the drawing, and carried it to her bedroom.
Liv slept soundly that night, falling asleep shortly before nine o'clock and waking a little after six. She felt relaxed and well-rested, and quickly showered, took her medication and applied her make-up. After styling her hair she headed into Noah's room, knocking on the door and slowly pushing it open. Noah groaned and turned away from the door, pulling the covers up over his head, and mumbling protests of it being "too early".
"It's seven o'clock, Noah" Liv said softly, as she gently pulled down his covers. "I need you to brush your teeth and get dressed, please" she advised. "Would you like pancakes?" she asked.
The offer of pancakes gave her son energy he did not realise he had, and he quickly sat up in bed. Liv smiled victoriously.
"I'll just go and get dressed" she explained, as she turned to leave.
"Mum" Noah called, prompting her to turn back towards him.
Liv looked down towards her son and found her staring at her belly. She remained silent for several moments, watching as Noah stared curiously at her rounded belly, which was becoming increasingly prominent. Until now she had always got dressed before waking Noah, but now he was aware she was pregnant she had no reason to hide it. She was wearing a dark blue robe which was tied around her waist, the material and the location of the tie highlighting her rounded belly. Liv was about to speak when Noah reached out his hand, placing it on the centre of her belly and splaying his fingers. She was still getting used to people touching her belly, and trying to enjoy it instead of ignore the sensation it provided. She felt her heart beat faster as her son ran his hand curiously across her belly, tilting his head to the side.
"How big is the baby?" Noah asked curiously.
Liv sat down on the edge of his bed and smiled softly, relieved he was taking the news of her pregnancy well, and that he was taking an interest in the baby. Especially one which did not involve comparisons to pop-culture icons.
"Right now, the baby is about this big" Liv explained, placing her index figures about six inches apart. Noah considered this and then frowned in confusion.
"But if the baby is that big, why is your belly so much bigger?" he asked innocently. Liv chuckled and tucked some hair behind her ear, before leaning towards her son and tickling him on his sides. "No, mum, no!" he giggled, his whole body tensing as he tried to turn away from her hands. Liv stopped tickling him and he sat up once more, turning towards her.
"The baby is getting bigger, so my body gets bigger to make sure there is enough room for it as it grows" Liv explained simply. Noah nodded in understanding.
"So how much bigger are you going to get?" Noah asked curiously. Liv shrugged her shoulders lightly.
"I don't know yet" Liv replied gently. "But I will probably get quite a bit bigger" she explained. Noah met her gaze and nodded.
"Okay" he said amiably. "Please can I have pancakes now?" he asked. Liv smiled and nodded.
"Yes" Liv assured him, as she got off his bed and turned to leave the room. "As soon as you've brushed your teeth and got dressed" she reminded him, eliciting a groan of protest from her son.
As Liv headed into her room and put on her underwear, she found that both of the garments she wore were feeling almost too tight to be comfortable. She had noticed her breasts had been feeling fuller and more sensitive this past week, and her bras were becoming uncomfortably tight, and were now appearing visibly ill-fitting. She adjusted the garments as best she could and pulled on her maternity trousers, socks and black heeled ankle boots, before embarking on her least favourite part of her morning routine: finding a shirt that fit. After six attempts at putting on shirts or blouses which were are too tight, too ill-fitting and plagued with uncooperative buttons, Liv finally settled on a white blouse she had worn the week before. The buttons thankfully secured, but the ones near her bust protested most strongly, and she forced them to close for decency's sake. As she pulled on her blazer and looked at herself in the mirror, she realised that the blouse did little to conceal her condition, her rounded belly pushing defiantly against the material, the prominent swell obvious when viewed from the side. Deciding to keep her blazer on for now, Liv headed into the kitchen and prepared her son's pancakes, answering more questions about the baby and reassuring her once more he would not have to share his bedroom, before taking him to school.
When Liv arrived at the precinct shortly before nine o'clock she already felt rather tired, and she greeted her team and then headed straight into her office. She had scarcely removed her coat when her phone began to ring, and she removed it from her bag and answered it.
"Benson" Liv said automatically, as she continued to remove her coat and placed it around the back of her chair.
"Olivia? It's Dr Henderson" came the familiar and congenial voice on the other end of the phone.
"Dr Henderson, hi" Liv responded, as she slowly eased herself into her chair. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" she asked.
"I'm good" Liv responded. "I'm sleeping better and I've been feeling much less light-headed" she advised.
"I'm glad to hear it" Dr Henderson responded sincerely. "I'm just calling to let you know I've got the results of your blood tests" she continued. "Everything is fine" she added quickly. "You are definitely anaemic, and your iron levels are slightly higher than they were when you were hospitalised on Friday, so the iron supplements are working" she added. "I'll run another blood test when you come in to see me the week after next, but if you have any concerns in the meantime, call my office, okay?"
"Okay, I will" Liv replied, feeling relieved. "Thank you, Dr Henderson" she added, before they exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone.
As Liv turned on her laptop and logged in, she wondered whether she should call Rafa to give him the results. Was that something she should do? Perhaps she should. She had actively excluded him from the early stages of her pregnancy, albeit with the best of intentions. She did not want him to feel she was keeping anything else from him. After deciding it would be best to text than to call, as he may already be in Court, she composed a brief message to him, advising she had told Noah, who was happy and excited, and she hoped everything had gone well with his mother the night before. She briefly explained that Dr Henderson had called and confirmed that her blood tests were fine and the iron tablets were helping, and she was feeling much better.
After sending the text and putting her phone down, Liv picked up her desk phone and dialling the extension to the Chief of Detectives' office. The phone was answered on the third ring by the chief's cordial and direct secretary, who treated Liv's request for a meeting with her boss like an imposition. She (apparently reluctantly) booked a thirty-minute meeting between Liv and the Chief for two o'clock the following afternoon, cautioning her that he had another appointment at two-thirty.
"I won't keep him long" Liv assured her warmly. "Thank you for your help. Take care, bye" she added, hanging up the phone with some relief. She and Rafa had agreed they would tell their bosses before the weekend. As much as Liv would have preferred to email, she knew it was best to discuss the matter in person.
As Liv opened her emails and began to go through them, she found herself feeling increasingly unsettled. The fabric of her blouse was just slightly too tight against her body, and sitting down only pulled it closer against her growing belly. She was also becoming increasingly concerned about the strength of the two buttons she had secured across her bust, which were pulling away from the somewhat strained material. She was so distracted by her blouse, and trying to adjust it to feel more comfortable, that she was unaware that Amanda had entered her office until she was just a few feet away.
"Liv" Amanda said, prompting her to look up at her. "Are you okay?" she asked, frowning in confusion.
"I'm fine, I..." Liv began, her dismissive words trailing off as she spoke to her friend. "Nothing fits me any more, everything is so tight and uncomfortable" she explained. Amanda nodded in understanding.
"I know you were reluctant to buy maternity clothes" Amanda began tentatively. "But now that you know everything is okay, perhaps it's something you should think about?"
"Yeah" Liv agreed, her gentle smile not taking away from the nervousness in her eyes. Amanda smiled softly.
"Are you busy on Saturday?" she asked. Liv considered the question and shook her head.
"I'm taking Noah to his dance class at ten, but we don't have any plans after that" Liv responded.
"Why don't we meet up for an early lunch, then Carisi can take the kids to the park whilst we shop?" she suggested. Liv's expression softened and she smiled.
"That would be wonderful. Thank you" she replied, her relief evident. "I can tell Carisi on Saturday" she added.
"Whenever you're ready" Amanda assured her. Liv looked up and met her gaze.
"I'm sorry I put you in a position where you had to keep this from him" Liv said sincerely.
"You didn't" Amanda responded simply. "And you've got nothing to be sorry for" she added, offering her a smile as she turned to leave the office. "Oh, Carisi called this morning, and the verdict on the DiAngelo case is expected to come in tomorrow morning" she advised. "Fin and I are gonna call the other precincts and the victims" she added. Liv nodded.
"Thank you" Liv replied. "I'll go to the courthouse first thing in the morning" she stated, making a diary note in her phone as she spoke. "Amanda, could you ask Fin to come in, please?" she asked. Amanda held her gaze and nodded.
"Sure" she said warmly, before walking out of the office.
Moments later, Fin Tutuola stepped into Liv's office, his expression calm and unreadable.
"'sup, Liv?" he asked as he took a step towards her desk.
"Could you close the door, please?" Liv asked gently, as she closed her laptop.
"Sure" Fin responded calmly, turning on the spot and closing the door, before walking towards her desk and sitting in the seat opposite her. "Is everything okay?" he asked curiously. Liv met his gaze and felt her chest tighten.
"Yeah, it's fine. Everything's fine" she somewhat stammered, offering him a nervous smile.
"What's going on, Liv?" he asked gently, concern present in his voice. She swallowed thickly and and let out a slow breath.
"I'm pregnant" Liv said simply, holding his gaze as she spoke.
Fin stared at Liv for a moment, his eyes widening in surprise.
"You're pregnant?" he asked slowly.
"Yes" Liv replied.
"With a baby?" he added, his eyebrows knitted with confusion.
"I hope so" Liv replied lightly, offering him a tentative smile. She watched as Fin's eyes drifted from her face to her belly, then back to her gaze. His expression softened and he smiled.
"Congratulations, Liv" he smiled, his voice warm and his words sincere. Liv felt herself relax and she nodded in response. "How far along are you?" he asked, looking down towards her belly once more.
"Eighteen weeks" Liv said quietly. Fin's expression faltered, his eyes widening and confusion overcoming him. She raised a hand and nodded. "I didn't want to tell anyone until I got the results of the amniocentesis" she explained. "Given my age, there was a higher risk of the baby having chromosomal abnormalities, but it doesn't, it's fine" she added quickly. Fin nodded in response.
"I get it" he assured her. "So you're okay?" he asked keenly.
"Yes, Fin. I'm fine" she assured him warmly. Fin nodded in response.
"When DiAngelo kicked you in the alleyway-" he began, leaning back, his eyes widening slightly.
"I didn't know I was pregnant" Liv said quickly. "I found out in the hospital" she added. Fin nodded in understanding, as he lowered his gaze from hers.
"I'm sorry, Liv" he said guiltily. "I should've got to you sooner and-"
"No, Fin. No, that was not your fault" Liv assured him. "The only one responsible is DiAngelo" she stated. "The baby and I are both fine. We're more than fine" she assured him. Fin nodded reluctantly in agreement. "The baby is due in late January, so I'm probably going to take maternity leave from Christmas" she explained. "Would you be the commanding officer until I'm back in the spring?" she asked.
"I got you, Liv" he assured her. Liv smiled and nodded.
"I know" Liv responded. "Thanks, Fin" she added. "Amanda knows, and I'm gonna tell the Chief of Detectives tomorrow afternoon" she explained. "Which I am looking forward to immensely" she stated lightly. Fin smirked.
"You'll be fine. He's always had a soft spot for you" Fin assured her.
"I'm not sure about that" Liv said doubtfully. "But thank you" she added.
"Is there anything I can do, now?" Fin asked gently. Liv's expression softened.
"Obviously I won't be able to be in the field" she explained, as Fin nodded keenly in response. "So I may need you to take on a commanding and supervisory role in certain situations" she added.
"No problem" Fin replied immediately. Liv smiled softly.
"Thank you, Fin" she added. Fin was about to rise from his seat when she continued. "There's just one more thing" she continued, her words prompting Fin to sit down once more. "The baby's father" she began tentatively, meeting Fin's gaze as she spoke. "Is Rafael Barba" she added. Liv watched as Fin's eyes widened.
"Barba?" he asked with disbelief. Liv swallowed hard and nodded. "I thought you two weren't talking..."
"It's complicated" Liv explained. "We met at Forlini's when he came back to New York in April" she continued. "We argued, he left, I went to talk to him, and..."
"And now you're pregnant" Fin intercepted, wanting to spare Liv having to recount the rest of the events.
"Yes" Liv confirmed. Fin nodded. He noticed that Liv and Barba seemed to have been getting on better in recent weeks, but he had never suspected they had slept together.
"So are you and Barba a couple, or-?"
"That's something we are trying to figure out" Liv said simply. "Right now we're focusing on the baby" she added. Fin nodded in understanding.
"I get it" he replied. "You'll be fine, Liv. You got this" he assured her. "I know you and Barba had some issues, but he's a good guy, and he'll be a great father" he stated.
"I know" Liv smiled. Fin nodded and rose from his seat.
"If there's anything I can do" he offered. Liv nodded.
"Thanks, Fin" Liv said sincerely, watching as Fin walked calmly out of her office and back into the squad-room.
Whilst Liv's morning started out relatively calmly, the day quickly became very busy. News that the DiAngelo verdict was expected to be in the following morning prompted many calls from detectives in other boroughs, as well as victims, many of whom wanted to speak with Liv directly. Liv juggled the calls with dealing with the taxi driver case, authorising the surveillance of an individual who was now their main suspect. Before Fin and Amanda went to take the first shift at two o'clock, Fin brought Liv her usual order from their local sandwich shop, placing it wordlessly on her desk. She was in the middle of a phone call to the Captain of the Bronx SVU, and was unable to thank him as he made his way out of her office and towards Amanda. She smiled softly and continued her conversation with the Captain, before ending the call and drawing the bag towards her. She was starving.
With Fin and Amanda out undertaking surveillance, Liv remained in the office for the rest of the day, fielding calls, dealing with admin and liaising with the DA's office. It had been a busy day where she had scarcely had a moment to breath, in fact she'd only left her desk twice in the past six hours in order to go to the bathroom. She was halfway through composing an email to the Chief of Detectives updating him on the taxi driver case, which was gaining considerable press coverage, when there was a formal knock at her door.
"Captain Benson?" came the voice of her desk sergeant.
"Yeah?" Liv repsonded, somewhat distractedly, as she continued to type.
"I have a Lucia Barba for you" he added.
Liv immediately stopped typing and looked up from her laptop, her chest tightening and her mouth suddenly going dry. Rafa had responded to her earlier text, and in that response he confirmed he had spoken with his mother and she had taken the news well. She swallowed hard and nodded.
"Show her in" Liv said quietly, rising from her chair instinctively, as the uniformed officer stepped aside and Lucia Barba entered the room.
Lucia Barba was wearing the same long red coat she wore last time Liv saw her, which covered her black trousers and black and white patterned jumper. Her hair was pristine and her make-up immaculate, and she was watching Liv with an expression somewhere between curiosity and interest, as she clung to the straps of the large black tote bag which rested over her left shoulder.
"Thank you, Officer Lake" Liv said politely, prompting him to nod in response and leave her office, closing the door behind him.
"Mrs Barba-" Liv began politely. The older woman raised a hand and her expression softened.
"Given the fact you are carrying my grandchild, I think you can call me Lucia" she replied calmly, her voice friendly, her expression warm. Liv nodded uncertainly and stepped out from behind her desk, and gestured towards the couch.
"Can I get you some coffee?" she asked politely.
"No, thank you" Lucia replied, remaining fixed to the spot, her eyes on Olivia. Liv watched her gaze drift from her face to her belly as she stepped in front of her, and she inhaled sharply, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Please" Liv said softly, gesturing to the couch. Lucia nodded and sat down, and Liv sat down beside her, her back straight, her hands resting on her thighs. Lucia's eyes drifted from her face to her belly, and she met her gaze once more.
"I am sorry for coming by unannounced" Lucia said apologetically. Liv rose a hand a shook her head.
"It's fine" Liv replied warmly. Lucia held her gaze for a moment.
"Rafi doesn't know I'm here" she confided. "I was hoping that we could talk" she explained. Liv nodded in response.
"Of course" Liv assured her, clasping her hands in her lap. Lucia's expression softened.
"You needn't look so worried" she assured her, her voice low but sincere. Liv relaxed slightly and nodded. "Rafi told me about you, and the baby" she advised, gesturing towards her belly. "As you can imagine, I was shocked" she confessed. "I'm not angry or disappointed" or she added quickly. "But I am concerned" she admitted. Liv held Lucia's gaze and listened attentively. "My son is a very decent man. But unconventional" she explained, earning a smile from Liv. "As are you, I suspect" she added. Liv nodded in agreement. "You're both intelligent, capable, mature adults, and it's clear you're both committed to each other and the baby, and prioritising your child over everything else" she continued, gesturing as she spoke in a way which reminded Liv of Rafa.
"We are" Liv assured her. "I know this is complicated, and things have not been easy between us in the past couple of years" she admitted. "But I love your son very much, and-" Liv broke off, the realisation of her words hitting her. Lucia smiled softly and nodded.
"My son loves you, too" Lucia replied. "He has done for quite some time" she added, prompting Liv to look up and meet her gaze once more. "I've know it for years. The way he speaks about you..." she said, smiling as she spoke. Liv smiled softly and nodded in response.
"You said you were concerned?" she prompted gently. Lucia held her gaze and nodded.
"I understand that things have been complicated between you both, and Rafi has not gone into detail" Lucia assured Liv quickly. "I'm sure there was fault on both sides, there usually is, and I'm not asking for details" she continued, gesturing with her hand as she spoke. "But I do know that leaving New York was the hardest thing my son has ever done, and the fracture to your relationship hit him hard, when he worked on that case involving your former partner" she stated. Liv's expression tightened and she nodded. "He didn't mean to hurt you, Olivia."
"I know he didn't" Liv assured her. "It's complicated."
"I know" Lucia returned immediately. "I'm glad you have both been able to address it and move forward" she advised. "Apparently further forward than either of you might have intended" she added, glancing down at Liv's belly as she spoke. Liv smiled softly and placed her hand on her belly instinctively, highlighting the swell of it against her palm. Lucia's expression softened. "You look beautiful" she said quietly, warmth present in her tone. Liv looked up and saw the expression on Lucia's face, which touched her deeply. She was watching her belly with such tenderness and affection that Liv found herself feeling rather emotional. "My son is a good man, and he will be a wonderful father" Lucia assured Liv, meeting her gaze with emotional eyes.
"I know he will" Liv replied immediately. "I never doubted that. Not for a minute" she added. "That isn't why I didn't tell him straight away" she continued, surprised that Lucia had not raised the matter.
"I know" Lucia replied softly. "You were protecting him, like he tried to protect you" she explained. Liv nodded in understanding.
"Yes" Liv agreed. Lucia smiled softly and met Liv's gaze.
"Thank you" she said sincerely. Liv felt relief flood her, and she nodded.
"Rafa has been wonderful. He's very supportive" Liv explained, knowing he would not have told his mother the extent of his actions. "And we are both committed to our baby" she assured her. "And to each other" she added. "I'm sure this isn't exactly how you envisioned becoming a grandmother-"
"I never envisioned becoming a grandmother" Lucia said quietly, prompting Liv to stare at her. "My son did not have a good relationship with his father" she advised. "I'm not sure how much he told you" she prompted.
"Nothing, not really" Liv temporised. "It's not something that he often talks about."
"No" Lucia responded. "No, I suppose he wouldn't" she sighed, leaning back slightly as she spoke. "Rafi's father was a complicated man. He was very clever, very driven, ambitious" she explained. "He was an investment banker in Wall Street" she explained. "He'd work long hours, come home, and drink to unwind" she added. "His job was stressful, and he drank to cope with it. And one day I noticed he'd start drinking in the mornings before heading to work" she said quietly, swallowing hard as she spoke. "I was working part-time as a teacher, and taking care of Rafi, and he spent so much of our money on alcohol. We were constantly behind with the bills, the rent, it was awful" she said, clasping her hands as she spoke.
"I understand" Liv assured her. "My mother was an alcoholic" she explained. "I'm so sorry" she said sincerely. Lucia's eyes widened slightly and she nodded.
"The alcohol changed him" Lucia advised. "He wasn't the man I married, the man I fell in love with" she explained. "It was like living with a stranger" she added. Liv nodded in understanding. She remembered the feeling well. "The more he drank, the more angry he would get, over the smallest of things" she stated. "He'd yell at me and usually I'd be able to calm him down, but..." she hesitated, stopping for a moment as she considered whether to continue. "One night, when Rafi was about six, his father came home, late, it was almost midnight" she explained. "He'd lost a lot of money, he was stressed, so he'd gone to a bar and drank there til they stopped serving him" she explained. "He was going through the cupboards trying to find more alcohol, and I was trying to stop him. I told him to go to bed, that we'd talk about it in the morning, that he needed to rest" she continued. "When he couldn't find his alcohol he accused me of hiding it. He yelled at me, calling me the most awful names" she stated. "And then he grabbed me by the throat" she added.
Liv's eyes widened and she nodded slowly in understanding.
"He'd never laid a hand on me before" Lucia said quietly, her eyes slightly glazed she spoke. "But he wrapped both hands around my throat and threw me against a wall. He was squeezing and squeezing, I thought I was going to pass out" she advised, placing her hand subconsciously to her throat as she spoke. "And then Rafi came in, running across the kitchen" she added, her eyes becoming tearful as she spoke. "He grabbed a frying pan that was by the sink, and he hit his father with it over and over again, screaming at him to let go of me" she said, taking a moment to compose herself before continuing. "My husband let me go, and then he turned towards Rafi and hit him, hard" she said, her lips trembling slightly as she spoke. She quickly wiped away her tears and continued. "Rafi hit his head against the counter-top and fell to the floor" she stated. "He was unconscious, and there was so much blood" she added. "His father just froze, he didn't say anything. And I scooped my baby up and I drove him to the hospital" she explained. "He regained consciousness shortly after we arrived, and when a doctor asked him what had happened, he told him that his papi had hurt him because he was trying to make him stop hurting his mami" she added.
Liv reached towards Lucia and took her hand, squeezing it gently. Lucia let out an unsteady breath and composed herself.
"By that time, the bruising around my neck started to darken" Lucia said quietly, her voice husky with emotion. "The doctor called the Police, who interviewed myself and Rafi, and then arrested my husband" she stated. "Rafi and I went to my mother's, and I filed for divorce three days later" she added. "And Rafi didn't see his father for more than thirty years" she added.
"He protected you" Liv said gently. Lucia smiled and nodded.
"He formed a bond with the ADA who tried his father, Christopher Kendall" Lucia remembered. "He came to my mother's house a couple of times with some paperwork, and he and Rafi had this bond" she explained. "The following summer, the children in Rafi's class had to create a project about what they wanted to be when they were older" she advised. "At parents' evening, his teacher gave me his" she added, her eyes becoming emotional once more. "He said he wanted to be a lawyer so he could put bad people in jail so they couldn't hurt the mommies" she added. Liv swallowed thickly and nodded.
"And he did" Liv said simply. Lucia smiled and nodded.
"Everyone told him how brave he was, and how proud they were of him. Especially my mother, they were incredibly close" Lucia explained. "Shortly after his father was arrested, I think it was the day after Rafi was discharged from the hospital, he told me that it was his fault" she explained, looking up at Liv, who was frowning in confusion. "Rafi had found his father's alcohol and poured it away, because he realised that when he drank he yelled, and he was worried about me" she explained.
"He was protecting you" Liv said gently. "Trying to keep you safe."
"Yes" Lucia agreed. "I am so proud of him" she stated with conviction. "I will always be proud of him" she added, composing herself once more. "He's always worked so hard. He is so focused and so determined" she explained.
"I know" Liv said warmly. Lucia met her gaze and nodded.
"I think it's also why Rafi is so protective of the people he loves, especially women" Lucia temporised. "I'm convinced it's why he chose to work with special victims" she stated. Liv nodded in understanding.
"I think you're right" she replied. Lucia nodded.
"Sometimes one thing can alter the entire course of your life. Personally and professionally" Lucia stated. "He dated, but never seriously, and never long-term" she explained. "I always wondered if he was worried he would be like his father" she continued. "Which he wouldn't, of course. He's nothing like him" she added confidently.
"No, he isn't" Liv assured her. "I didn't have children when I was younger, mainly because I was so busy with work, but also because I doubted my abilities as a mother" she explained. "I didn't know how I would be able to be a mother when it felt like I didn't really have one" she added. "I was so scared I'd turn out just like her."
"But you didn't" Lucia said. "I think my Rafi has the same worry about fatherhood" she added. "That and the fact he has never taken care of a baby before" she continued. "But I told him, no one knows how to take care of a baby at first, but you learn" she explained. Liv nodded in agreement.
"When Noah was about one, I asked Rafa to hold him whilst I tidied a few things away" Liv remembered. "He held him under his arms, like this, about a foot away from his body" Liv explained, mimicking the hold as she spoke, earning a laugh from Lucia. "I think he would've held him further away if his arms would've reached" she added.
"I think you're probably right" Lucia responded. "But he'll be fine, we'll show him" she added. Liv met Lucia's gaze and felt relief flood her.
"I'm sure this must be rather difficult for you, too" Liv said gently, prompting Lucia to look at her with confusion. "A woman you barely know carrying your son's child" she added. Lucia watched Liv with a calm expression.
"I love my son" Lucia said simply. "He is kind, and decent, and an excellent judge of character" she added. "He loves you, and that's all I need to know" she stated with conviction. Liv smiled softly and nodded. "But I would like to get to know you better" she explained.
"Of course" Liv replied. Lucia smiled softly.
"Perhaps you and your son could come for dinner on Sunday evening?" Lucia suggested.
"That would be lovely" Liv replied. "I think Rafa is free" she added.
"Oh, he'll be available" Lucia stated confidently, rising to her feet as she spoke. Liv smiled and rose too.
"I'll give you my card, so you have my number" Liv said, turning on the spot and walking towards her desk. She picked up her business card and wrote her personal cell phone number on the back, together with her address. When she turned back towards Lucia, she found the older woman writing her own number and address down on a notebook she kept in her bag. She tore the page out and she and Liv exchanged information. "Thank you" Liv said warmly. Lucia nodded.
"Rafi told me you've been craving lemon" Lucia said curiously. Liv looked up and met her gaze, surprised at the sudden change in subject.
"Uh yes" Liv responded. "He caught me biting into a whole one a couple of days ago, which he found hilarious" she added. Lucia chuckled and nodded, before reaching into her bag.
"I made these for you" she said gently, as she offered Liv a glass tupperware container with a bamboo lid. "They're called Torticas de Moron, which are cuban shortbread cookies" she explained. "They're supposed to be made with lime and rum, but I substituted the lime for lemon, and I didn't use any rum" she added. Liv smiled and accepted the thoughtful gift.
"Thank you so much" Liv said sincerely.
"My Rafi loves them, so keep them away from him" she instructed, gesturing with her hand as she spoke.
"Oh, believe me, I will" Liv responded, as she followed Lucia towards the door.
"Would four o'clock on Sunday work for you?" Lucia asked as she approached the door. "I wouldn't want to make it too late, for your son" she explained. Liv nodded.
"Four o'clock would be perfect. Thank you" she added. Lucia nodded and reached for the door handle, glancing down at Liv's belly once more, her gaze lingering for a few moments, before she looked up at Liv once more.
"Goodbye, Olivia" Lucia said warmly.
"Bye" Liv returned, standing in the doorway and watching Lucia as she walked confidently across the precinct.
Once Lucia was out of sight, Liv headed back towards her desk, opening the tupperware container and removing a cookie before she had even reached her chair. She took a bite of it and was immediately flooded with sugar and lemon, and she hummed in satisfaction as she eased herself into her seat. She quickly ate four of the two dozen cookies, before placing the container on her desk and leaning back against her chair, feeling her waistline expanding at the mere prospect of finishing her cookies. She sighed lightly and closed her eyes for a few moments. She really needed some new clothes. The weekend could not come fast enough.