22BBY - Ansion - Days before the First Battle of Geonosis.

It was a cool night on the Mid-Rim planet of Ansion, the breeze whistling through the vast fields of grasslands. Herds of native hootles were finishing their grazing for the night, taking rest for the approaching darkness. Coleac rodents were burrowing themselves into the dirt to sleep until they were ready to scavenge the next morning. Tiny colourful illuminations of dance pixies would attract smaller creatures, compelling them to give chase and distort their pretty displays.

It was all so…normal. The sort of planet that anyone accustomed to space travel would have seen many times. Truly, such an insignificant planet.

Yet even here, the growing unrest of the galaxy could be felt.

The black sky was marked with bright stars, flashing their hints of wonder and undoubtedly dazzling the minds of the primitive nomadic tribes of Alwari, who primarily occupied these lands outside the cities that the Unity of Community – the planet's more sophisticated government – controlled.

These two entities had almost caused a rift on Ansion, a rift that the growing Separatist Crisis was keen to take advantage of. By exploiting the lack of unity, Ansion–and therefore its neighboring systems reliant on its trade routes–could have fallen under control of the Separatists and been yet another system unified against The Republic.

That would have been the case, if not for the intervention of negotiators sent by the Republic. Four Jedi, to be specific.

Two of those Jedi were walking side by side, their cloaks reacting to the gentle winds, keeping them warm in the chilly night. They were the younger half of the Jedi team sent here, their masters currently settling business at the Alwari camp nearby.

Fresh off their success in resolving the border dispute, the padawans had fancied a stroll on such a pleasant night. Though in the grander scope of the galaxy, it was comparable to filling up a single hole in a sieve.

Still, an accomplished mission was just another notch on their paths to Knighthood.

The two Padawans chuckled to themselves, clearly amused by each other's presence. Thankfully they were a fair distance away from the earshot of Kenobi and Luminara, who could be giving them a stern talking to on conducting themselves properly.

"Skywalker, what would our masters say?" Barriss asked in a tone of curious endearment.

The two had enjoyed each other's time together on Ansion, to be two Padawans sent on the same mission was a nice change of pace from the company of their mentors.

They were almost sad that they would return to the Temple soon…but they had admittedly gotten tired of this backwater world.

"It can't be any worse than getting gnawed at by gairks," he replied morbidly, even as a big creepy grin stretched across his face,

Indeed those carnivorous fish had tried their luck on the two Jedi. They had encountered many dangers on this planet, though none too troublesome for Jedi.

The local fauna and a local Hutt? Well, that was just Centaxday.

After a while, their gleeful looks slowly retracted into tamer half-smiles. Anakin had a moment to reflect on his next words, bringing their conversation into something more serious.

"Barriss, can I ask you something?"

She glanced over at him, and he just knew she was going to say something clever. "No, you may not see me without the hood."

"Funny."

There was another pause.

"Do you ever get lonely, Barriss?" his curiosity finally came out. It was a more somber question, something that Barriss had to think on a bit before she could give her heartfelt answer.

Barriss had friends at the Temple. Tutso, Dante, and she supposed Lyn was alright, albeit rough around the edges. But really, she found she got along with just about everybody.

Failing all that, she had the Force. When you felt connected to the wider galaxy, could you ever truly be alone?

But…she knew what Anakin meant. The life of a Jedi gave one great responsibility, with little room for indulgence. No doubt a shocking change of lifestyle from a boy from Tatooine.

"A bit sometimes, I suppose," she sighed, nodding slightly. "My master and I are inseparable, but…"

Luminara was a specific kind of Jedi. Barriss cared for her, and she knew that feeling was mutual. But she also knew that Luminara was so attuned to the Force, such a strong follower of the Jedi Code, that nothing in the galaxy could ever come between her and that.

Not even Barriss.

And so, for as much as she loved her, she knew that the one thing that mattered most to Luminara was her duty as a Jedi. Such a person did not exactly make for the most well-rounded company.

And she did not know how she wanted to word that to Skywalker.

"Master Kenobi is like my father," Anakin concurred. "Even if he gets on my nerves sometimes…he nags me constantly."

Barriss glanced at him and smiled.

"I can only wonder why," she prodded playfully, before the cheekiness faded again.

From what Barriss had been told of his past in their time together, Anakin never had a real father. But at least he had a mother. He had that memory, being inducted into the order at such a late age.

Barriss had no parents. No memories of them whatsoever, just vague details of how she was born and found by the Jedi.

Born on a starliner, and swiftly given away to the Order.

A similar story that so many Jedi shared, with minor variations. Not like Anakin; he was unique compared to everyone else in just about every way.

The Chosen One as it had been stressed. One shouldn't be surprised, it was a miracle the Jedi Council accepted him as it was. He was destined to be a unique Jedi.

"Luminara is strict too, you know," she reminded him, knowing Anakin had gotten a thorough taste of having two masters chastise him at once. "I just know how to behave."

"Mmhm." Anakin merely hummed, eyes rolling.

The two eventually stopped their stroll, finding themselves standing at the top of a hill that overlooked the flat bristling plains of grass. The stretches of green illuminated only by moonlight.

It was peaceful.

"It'll be for the best," she continued, eyes not moving from the sight. "To be students of two of the Order's most accomplished Jedi Masters means we'll only be the greater Jedi ourselves for it."

There was a pause before she spoke again.

"I'm sure you'll make for a great Jedi someday, Skywalker. Once you learn about a little thing called patience."

Her words seemed to resonate in him, judging by his pondering look. For it to then turn to another grin as he turned his face to her again.

"Careful Barriss…" he began with a low tone, casually looking off. "Or I'll have to teach you a little thing called humility."

The padawans laughed to themselves again. In times like these, it was important to hold onto the moments that made you happy. It didn't take a Jedi to feel that something ugly was coming to rock the galaxy. When that did come, things were going to be different forever.

But for now, they would enjoy the good times while they lasted.

19BBY - Coruscant - Final year of The Clone Wars

The Jedi Archives were quieter these days. Whereas once it served as a bastion of knowledge that Jedi of all ages flocked to, these days few Jedi were browsing its shelves. Barriss still saw classes of younglings sitting at some of the tables, but it was not what it used to be.

Must be easy for Madame Jocasta, her hands are much more free now.

Barriss however was still making frequent visits. When she was not in the Temple infirmary or meditating, she came here to progress her studies. It seemed she was the only Knight around who was keeping old traditions alive.

Now? All the rage was about being a warrior, a general leading forces into battle.

We've truly lost touch with ourselves, Barriss glumly believed, a sentiment she was considering more with each day.

At least she could always find some wisdom in this place, the Jedi Archives had not gotten any less impressive since the start of the war, the shelves tall and plentiful. Just a pity it was not appreciated like it used to be.

Jocasta Nu spotted Barriss approaching The Chief Librarian was accustomed to her visits and Master Jocasta always had a pleasant welcoming aura to her whenever Barriss came to seek knowledge.

"Knight Offee." she greeted with a smile so warm it compelled one to return the sentiment.

Barriss stopped before her, bowing her head slightly.

"Master Archivist." she replied.

Jocasta simply gestured to the terminal at the table, urging Barriss to sit. She did as invited, taking a seat so she could begin browsing the records available to one of her rank. Granted, even at Knight one had an almost endless amount of material to study. Barriss had no delusions that she could ever study everything available at this archive, even with her longer Mirialan lifespan.

Jocasta Nu stood closely above Barriss, looking down over their shoulder at the terminal. "And what knowledge are we seeking today?"

It was clear that the Master Archivist was fond of Barriss, her being one of the only Jedi that still made her feel useful in these times of war. It wasn't quite the same when working with younglings. It was heartwarming to see a Jedi still valuing the art of study.

"I was interested in the history of war for the Jedi Order." Barriss told her, scrolling through relevant archives.

"Hmm, yes. There's no lack of that in the Order's history," Jocasta said, still with that same pleasant tone in her voice, "though I suspect by the time this Clone War is done, we'll have a lot of work ahead of us in adding it to our archives."

Barriss was inclined to agree. "I have to believe that this is all necessary, that we are on the right path by becoming fighters for this war…maybe reviewing our history with it will shed some clarity."

With Jocasta's help, Barriss soon found suitable materials for her studies before the librarian left her alone in peace. The next few hours, she remained seated where she was while reviewing the Order's involvement with warfare in many different eras.

The Old Republic. The Mandalorian-Jedi wars.

Even as recent as the High Republic had some instances.

No one else, save for some younglings, entered the library in those hours. That was usually the case, anyways.

Barriss' main take from her studies today was that the Jedi Order was prone to marching into conflict in service to peace for the greater good. Not just focused on the now, but also the future.

Perhaps this was just the same situation again: The Jedi defending their the Republic from the Separatist aggression, democracy over tyranny. She had certainly been witness to the evil the Separatists were capable of.

Ansion, Drongar, Umbara… Geonosis.

Of course, they couldn't be allowed to continue their transgressions. The Jedi putting themselves between this evil and those they would harm made sense. The act of becoming generals was just yet another regrettable but necessary course to secure peace for the future.

But how long would that peace last? She could only wonder.

"Hey, Barriss!" Barriss was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even sense the familiar presence until its hand was on her shoulder. At her side standing above her was Ahsoka Tano, looking down at her with a beaming look.

"Oh, Ahsoka." Barriss returned her beaming expression, albeit with not quite the same level of sincerity. "What brings you to the Archives?"

The Togruta was very much immersed into her role as a Republic Commander. She partook in far more battles than Barriss did, and she wasn't even a Knight yet.

That had a certain way of making Barriss feel inadequate.

But, the two were most certainly friends. Probably one of the few Barriss could call such these days. Surviving a battle—and the real possibility of suffocating to death together—had a way of bringing you close.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here," the padawan told her, chuckling. "I just wanted to ask if you'd be up for sparring later? I've been taking what you told me about using Form Four to heart… been wanting another shot at you, basically."

Though Barriss did not like to fight, she was certainly quite good at it. The older Jedi had been well-accustomed to all forms and was disciplined in her dueling skills. Master Luminara's teachings had honed her into a very capable Jedi.

A Jedi that Ahsoka could seldom ever seem to match in their sparring sessions.

"Oh. Sure."

Barriss almost turned to the terminal again, but amended herself halfway upon realizing that would make her look as though she was brushing Ahsoka off. The truth was, she didn't have much to say to her right now.

Her behavior had certainly become more introverted ever since Geonosis. A Jedi who preferred to keep to herself and her own thoughts.

Ahsoka removed her hand from Barriss' shoulder. Just trailing her eyes off for a moment, awkwardly. It always felt like she had to work a bit more in their interactions. Carry the conversation, as it was said.

She cleared her throat. "Hey, why don't you join me and my master in the refectory? We can catch up, you and him even."

Ahsoka was aware before Skywalker had even taken her on as his apprentice, that he and Barriss had worked together before.

"Uh, well…"

Ahsoka's squeezed her shoulder slightly tighter.

"C'mon, Barriss. I always find you in here, you need a break," Ahsoka pleased lightly. "Hey, it's Benduday. The food will be slightly less awful."

Barriss looked back at the archive she was studying, not really wanting to abandon it now. But her introverted behavior ironically made it harder to say no to socializing.

Besides, it would be rude to decline. She supposed it could be good to catch Skywalker before he rushed off into the next battle, too.

Jocasta Nu came back over, her eyes on Ahsoka as she approached. "I certainly hope you're not disturbing Barriss while she's studying, Padawan Tano."

Barriss switched off the terminal and stood. "It's alright, Madame Jocasta. I was just finishing. Thank you for your assistance, as always."

The three Jedi collectively bowed before Ahsoka and Barriss made their leave.

"Do stop by again soon, Barriss," Jocasta bid her as she left. "Your presence is always welcome."

Mirialan and Togruta walked together, seldom a word between them. Barriss looked dead ahead while Ahsoka feigned curiosity in the architecture of the temple.

It was clear that Barriss was going to have to say something.

"Ahsoka?"

"Hm?!" the Togruta hummed, surprised.

With a sense of deja vu, Barriss asked her the only question that came to mind.

"Do you ever get lonely?"

Barriss hadn't said much as she finished the last of her nutritious but tasteless meal.

I suppose it still beats food capsules.

But it made sense that Jedi would eat based purely on need, and not pleasure. Food at the Temple was typically vegetarian, and filling. Of course, some leeway had to be made for species who were carnivorous in nature, but for humans and other near-human species like Mirialan and Togruta, they all ate the same.

Today, that seemed to be some kind of root paste with breadsticks and vegetables, courtesy of the Agricultural Corps.

Barriss once again wondered if her life would have been so much easier if she was just farming crops for the Order. But alas, her gift in the Force was too acute to be wasted in that manner.

Her path in life was set the day Master Yoda witnessed her pull the ball she and the other younglings were playing with to herself.

"If the Council wants us to risk our necks in the field, the least they could do is have some good grub for us when we get home," Anakin muttered, having barely touched his own plate, picking at it with his fork. "I'm starting to see why Obi-Wan likes going to the cantinas around here."

Ahsoka sat next to Barriss, while the famed Chosen One sat opposite to them, watching podracing with the volume low on his holo-projector.

Ahsoka was feeling that the "air" surrounding their conversation together was still awkward. Barriss wasn't saying much, and Anakin could just distract himself with the podracing playing.

She was hoping for something more engaging.

"So, Barriss…" she began drumming her fingers on the table. "You and Anakin worked together years ago, right?"

Anakin merely gave a nod, his eyes still focused on a podracer smashing into an obstacle at lethal speeds. It appeared to amuse him. It gave cause for Barriss to glance over at her friend.

"Yes, shortly before the war began," Barriss told her, thinking back to how long ago that felt now. "Master Skywalker was just a Padawan."

The galaxy was hardly in a state of tranquility, but she missed a time where Jedi were not being shipped out to fight legions of battle droids; when she could proudly consider themselves an order of peacekeepers.

"As were you, Barriss." Anakin chimed in, his focus still unmoving from the holo display. "Congrats on your Knighthood."

Skywalker and Offee once shared a lot of common ground when they first met on Ansion. Since then, their paths diverged a lot. It felt like whereas Barriss had become more closed off and isolated, Anakin was thriving. She could sense that he enjoyed this period of wartime. Why wouldn't he? He was a famed Republic General, who was close to Chancellor Palpatine himself. This war had made him a hero.

It was bringing out the best in him.

And the worst in me.

It felt unfair. She believed firmly that she had been further along in her training compared to Skywalker, more rooted in what was expected of a Jedi. And now he was being rewarded for being able to crush his opponents in battle. As if that was even the point of being a Jedi.

Or maybe I'm just a coward…

"Guess I have a ways to go before I'll catch up with you two, huh?" Ahsoka laughed a little to herself, eyes still glancing between Barriss and Anakin.

Barriss gave a warning smile with her, leaning slightly forward to her Togruta friend. "You'll get there before long, Ahsoka."

They exchanged a brief pleasant look before their senior spoke again. "She's right, Snips. I was the youngest Jedi to ever receive Knighthood, if you don't beat my record then I've failed as a master."

Barriss was twenty when she received hers, which was around average for most.

"Knighthoods feel like they get dished out rather whimsically these days…" Barriss supposed, believing herself to be one such example.

Anakin was inclined to agree.

"The Republic needs more generals, more knights needed on the field." He added. "Hey, speaking of which…"

Anakin turned his eyes from the racing, now locking his glare onto Barriss. The Mirialan had an inkling of what he was about to say and it made her heart race.

"Shouldn't be long before they make you a Republic general, eh Barriss?"

As Anakin began to explain how he believed she was ready for duty and was proud of her for finally getting where he now was, it all became white noise to Barriss. Her chest began thumping within, as the clarity behind her Knighthood and what it meant became crystal clear.

She just sat, politely nodding, but all of it went unheard in her mind.

They'll make me a general soon.

"Hey, Barriss…you alright?" Barriss finally heard something, Ahsoka's voice tenderly calling out to her with a hand placed upon her arm. "You look like you've been drained."

Barriss snapped out of it, realizing she was making a sight of herself, her skin going paler.

Flashes of the warfare she had partook in filled her mind.

The crowds of that blasted arena cheering with every Jedi that dropped. The deafening sounds of the Geonosian hivemind overwhelming her senses when that brainworm invaded her mind. The screaming bloodied clones on Drongar painting the cold steel floor with red. The muffled explosions surrounding her in the cold vacuum of space over Umbara.

The war.

The death.

The destruction.

I can't! Her voice screamed internally.

"Wasn't the food was it?" Ahsoka asked, laughing lightly but clearly with unease mixed in. "Here, maybe we should get you to-"

Barriss suddenly stood up, coming back to reality.

"I'm fine. Thank you both for having me, but I must take my leave."

She bowed to the two Jedi before turning to quickly walk off.

"Good day."

As she left the refectory, she did not hear anyone pursue her. Just the bickering between Ahsoka and Anakin getting more faint as she hurried off.

"Was it something I said?" Anakin wondered, gesturing to the general direction Barriss had left.

"You upset her!"

Now he had to deal with Ahsoka's grumpy face staring him down. Whenever his padawan got like this, it always resulted in arguing.

"How is this my fault?!" he retorted.

Ahsoka had stood up to chastise her master. Then she slumped down, clearly deflated. It got Anakin to switch off his holoprojector, make himself look a bit more attentive to the situation he had apparently caused. He never liked to see Ahsoka like this.

"Hey, come on, Snips…" he began more gently, shaking his head. "I just…I don't really speak to Barriss much these days, she's more your friend than mine."

They got along well on Ansion, true. But that was years ago. Since then, the two had not interacted much. Their paths as Jedi had diverged since the start of the war. They were the only padawans to survive the first Battle of Geonosis, and they both were changed forever by those events.

He supposed that while he endured physical ailments, Barriss' were more mental.

"You know, I remember when she was happier," he muttered awkwardly, before taking a bite of the bland food on his tray, enduring the distaste for the sake of looking occupied.

Ahsoka just glared at him some more with heavy shoulders.

"Happier?" she finally replied, a slightly curious but also saddened tone in her voice.

Anakin didn't want to seem so confident when gossiping about someone else, so he gave a mere shrug, but he could tell Barriss was important to Ahsoka and felt he owed it to his padawan to tell her more.

"When I first met Barriss on Ansion…" he began, eyes glancing off to the exit the Mirialan had left through. "She was a lot more…uh, lively? I guess maybe the war has taken a toll on her."

He observed Ahsoka's face becoming thoughtful, looking down at herself as she pondered on what this meant.

"But, y'know, I dunno," he added, again not wanting to seem so confident.

It made Anakin think back to those days, though. Before the war, before his marriage, before his knighthood. His place as a Jedi felt less certain back then. Now it was more affirmed than ever… he was made to be a warrior, and he fully intended on spearheading this war until the Republic had victory.

Though not every Jedi shared his level of drive.

The Barriss he had met on Ansion was witty and full of life. Nowadays, not so much. Perhaps it was true that some in the Order couldn't cope with the current state of the galaxy and how the Jedi fit into it. But to him? It was necessary. He was hardly going to stand by and read books all day when he could be going out there and making a real difference.

He was sure that Barriss would get over it.