Avengers: Hunt for the Winter Soldier
Chapter 20
TITLE: Squaring Off
Summary: After supper, Steve invites Natasha to his apartment to show off the clothes the girls had bought for the Soldier. The next day sees the return of the Winter Soldier and a tense moment puts Cap on alert.
Note: I've decided to dedicate this chapter to BittenByBucky on AO3 to show my appreciation for the support and the wonderful feedback. It's appreciated.
When all three had finished their meal, Steve collected their plates and utensils and deposited them in the sink. He didn't bother to rinse them or put them in the dish washer as he had other, more immediate, plans for the rest of the evening.
He'd promised Natasha that she would be able to show Bucky - Soldat - the new clothes she and Wanda, along with Dr. Golden, had picked out for him. So that's what they were going to do.
He returned to the table and Natasha looked up at him and smiled with anticipation. "Are we ready?" she asked.
"I am," Steve told her then he smiled and looked to the Soldier. "You ready?"
The Soldier had looked up at him when he returned to the table and now his face froze as he was expected to answer the question and didn't know what he was supposed to be ready for. He looked as though he'd been taken by surprise.
"Sorry," Steve told him, holding his hand out toward him apologetically. "I was… playing."
The Soldier looked to Natasha and she laughed softly, shaking her head. She pushed her chair back and stood up. He watched her closely and then she gestured for him to join them so he stood up.
"So where do you want to do this?" she asked.
"How about my place?" Steve suggested. "He's already been there twice so it's familiar… and has no unsettling memories attached to it."
"Less clinical than the infirmary," Natasha agreed with a nod. "I need to find out where they took the bags. Why don't you take him to your apartment and I'll find Wanda, she probably has them with her, and I'll bring the clothes to you…"
"Sounds good," he agreed.
Soldat followed his two escorts out of the assembly room and into the bright corridor. The blond led the way and Soldat followed directly behind him. Little Mouse walked to his left but slightly ahead of him and just behind the blond man.
When the corridor they were in split off to the left, Natasha veered down the adjoining corridor as Steve continued straight. The Soldier stopped as the two separated; unsure as to which one he was expected to follow.
Natasha happened to look over her shoulder, as she headed toward her residence, to see the Soldier standing at the juncture watching her and she stopped.
"You go with him," she told him, pointing as if to the blond man she couldn't see through the wall.
The Soldier followed her gesture and looked toward the man walking away from him, but he didn't move.
"Steve!" she called out.
Hearing his name, Steve turned around to see the Soldier had stopped at the juncture of the two corridors. He heard Natasha say "You go with him. I'll be right there."
"Bucky," he said to get his attention. The Soldier glanced at him when he heard his voice but immediately looked back toward Natasha. "Soldat…" Steve hated using that call sign, but it was the one the Soldier knew for certain referred to him and he turned to regard Steve attentively. "Come this way," he instructed the Soldier with a quick hand gesture.
The Soldier immediately walked toward him. Steve considered how easy it was to get his cooperation while he thought he was under his handler's control, but it also bothered him greatly to have to treat him that way when it was the one thing Steve wanted to extinguish; the Soldier's need to follow his master's voice.
The Soldier followed Steve obediently and paused outside the door as Steve opened it. He recognized where he was even before the door opened. As it swung open, Steve gestured for him to enter first and he did as he was instructed. Steve entered behind him and closed the door.
"Make yourself at home," Steve told him. It was a reflex invitation he'd used for anyone entering his home, all the way back to the 1930's. When he realized what he'd done, Steve paused as he headed to the kitchen. He turned to see the Soldier looking at him as he did the last time he was there. "Ummm… have a seat in the living room," Steve told him.
The Soldier turned to look at the sitting area and decided that was where he should go. He walked over and sat down on the chair to the left. He sat with his body bolt upright on the edge of the chair just as he had done on the bench in the garden. His forearms rested on his thighs and his hands were held as fists resting tensely between his knees.
As Steve returned with two tall glasses of ice water he noted the Soldier's posture. He recognized it from the garden and Steve wondered why he posed that way. It had to mean something to him, because it wasn't a relaxed posture at all.
"Here you go," Steve said as he placed a glass on the coffee table in front of his guest. The Soldier looked at it briefly and then his gaze wandered around the room.
Steve took a seat in the chair opposite him on the other side of the table. He sipped his ice water and casually watched his friend as he surveyed the apartment.
"Natasha will be joining us soon," Steve told him. The Soldier looked at him and seemed to turn that sentence over in his head. Steve could clearly see the gears working.
"Malen'kaya mysh", the Soldier said, as if to confirm 'Natasha' was indeed Little Mouse.
Steve recognized the Russian phrase and took only a moment to remember those were the words the Soldier had said when Natasha had entered the room the other day; the day he recognized her.
"Yes," he answered with a nod. "Moosh," Steve said, hoping he pronounced it correctly.
The Soldier nodded slightly when Steve pronounced the word 'mouse' properly in Russian.
Natasha headed down the hall to Wanda's residence and knocked on the door. She only waited a few seconds when the door opened. Wanda smiled at her.
"I was wondering when you were going to come for these," she said, gesturing to the pile of bags on the floor.
Natasha smiled. "We had a few things to do first… like wait for him to wake up… take a shower… get a shave and then dinner."
Wanda looked at her curiously. "He shaved?"
"Actually, I shaved him," Nat told her.
"You did…" Wanda echoed, not quite believing that.
"Yeah," Natasha told her. "He had the drug therapy and wasn't really able to tend to himself when he came to… so Steve helped him shower and I got to shave him. You should see him," she said with a conspiratorial grin.
"I wouldn't mind," Wanda said, returning Natasha's grin.
"Well, why don't you help me bring this stuff to Steve's," she told Wanda. "They're waiting for me there."
"Great. I'd love to," Wanda replied and collected half the bags as Natasha loaded up her arms and followed her down to Steve's apartment.
There was a knock on the door, but even before Steve could react to it, the door opened and Natasha entered with Wanda. He blinked at the number of bags they carried in. He smiled and stood up, placing his glass on the table as he rose.
The Soldier also stood up quickly, not understanding what was happening. Steve put his hand up. "It's okay," he assured the Soldier who halted at Steve's hand signal.
"Hello," Wanda said with a smile, directing her greeting at the Soldier as she stepped around Natasha. The Soldier blinked and his eyes darted around before settling on her again. "We brought you some things… clothes… for you to wear."
Natasha smiled as she put the bags she was holding on the floor nearby. She loved how easily Wanda interacted with the Winter Soldier even after having seen him in action against the whole team. She seemed to be totally unconcerned about his reputation or of what he was capable.
"He looks good," Wanda mentioned to her teammates. "Handsome," she complimented with an amicable smile, but the Soldier didn't seem to understand the word or, if he did, it didn't faze him.
"Much better without all the scruff," Natasha agreed.
"He looks so young," Wanda mentioned and then looked at Steve. "You two are the same age?" she asked.
Steve tried not to smile and shook his head. "Actually he's sixteen months older than me."
"Really-?" Wanda replied, a bit surprised, "He's older… than you?"
"Very funny," Steve said, trying not to be too offended.
Wanda and Nat laughed softly and Natasha continued looking through the bags.
"Well," Wanda said, lightly clapping her hands together. "I just wanted to help with the bags… and say "Hi", she told them, waving her hand at the Soldier with the word Hi. "I'll let you all get to whatever you have planned."
"Oh… you're welcome to stay… if you want," Steve told her.
But Wanda knew Steve well enough to know that he was just being polite and probably wanted a chance to interact with his old buddy with few distractions. Plus, she felt it was best if there wasn't an excess of personnel in the room for this.
She was well aware that Natasha was the Soldier's oldest and closest friend, if that word even meant anything to him; and she knew that Natasha was trying to bridge the gap between the Soldier and Steve, at least until Sgt. Barnes was able to regain any of his memories that they all hoped might include Steve… if he ever would.
"Oh… thanks, Steve," she said, as she stepped backward toward the door to take her leave. "I have some… things to take care of," she told him pointing over her shoulder. "I'll see you all later."
"Okay," he replied. "Good night… and thanks."
"Good night," Wanda said and wiggled her fingers at the Soldier; as if saying a private good bye to him with a small wave and left the apartment.
The Soldier watched her leave without offering a word or a wave in return. Steve watched him closely, as he always did when the others interacted with him. He felt saddened again when Wanda's open attempts to be friendly had no affect on him, at least outwardly. His expression had remained neutral and unwavering as he simply observed her without responding or reacting in any way. It really bothered Steve to see just how disconnected Bucky had become from the world and the people around him.
Natasha emptied a few of the bags onto the coffee table; laying a couple of shirts and pants neatly in a stack, then pulled out belts and ties and even a wallet. Steve found that curious and picked up the wallet to give it a closer look.
"What's this for?" he asked with a smile.
Natasha smiled back and shrugged. "For… later. When he's ready…"
Her comment spawned an image in Steve's head of Bucky stepping out of his own apartment one day, heading out to enjoy the day… or night… in the city and pocketing his new leather wallet as he closed the door behind him. Steve almost smiled at that image but caught himself. He didn't want to get ahead of himself; or ahead of where the Soldier was, and where he needed to be presently.
"You're an optimist," Steve told her, his tone was one of slight surprise, as if it was a brand new revelation.
"How dare you," she remarked, pretending to be insulted.
Steve smiled and placed the wallet back on the table and then picked up the pair of shoes she set down. "Wow… I should have you shop for me," he told her, clearly impressed by her taste.
"I'd be happy to," she told him. "So why don't we see how these look," she mentioned, holding up a pair of pants and a shirt. She smiled at the Soldier and he frowned at her, not understanding what she wanted him to do.
About an hour later, she and Steve were able to get the Soldier to change out of a third set of clothes and into a fourth outfit, which Natasha had carefully chosen.
The casual dress pants and jeans all fit him well… and Natasha told him to turn around so she could get a good look at how they fit. Steve gave her a disapproving look when she told him to turn for the fourth time.
When Natasha noticed his deadpan expression she just grinned and shrugged. "What?" she began in her own defense. "A girl can look."
Steve shook his head and then shifted his expression from a disapproving look to pleased and interested, as the Soldier turned back around to face them.
They both were happy to know that the pants and shoes fit him perfectly. Most of the shirts also fit well, although when he put his left arm through the sleeve of the striped dress shirt it tore at the shoulder seam and down the back of the sleeve.
The obvious sound of fabric tearing and the destruction of the pricey shirt didn't seem to affect him at all. He simply flexed the arm and then swung it up and around to test the ability to move properly.
"Great… so much for that one," Natasha said with a disappointed sigh. "I think he's going to need tailored dress shirts." Steve nodded as he looked on. "Okay, the rest of this stuff can be tried on later. I think we have a good idea of his size and at least he now has options," Natasha mentioned.
The Soldier yawned as he stood there waiting for his next instruction. Natasha nodded as she watched him as if she agreed with him and looked at Steve.
"Yeah, he's had a long day. I think it's time to get some rest," Steve mentioned.
"Yep, Bruce had mentioned that the drugs he administered can have a strong tranquilizing effect," she told him. "He said the diazepam and thorazine, specifically, have a calming effect that depresses the nervous system and is used in therapeutic settings to reduce anxiety… and induce sleep." She emphasized the last two words with a gesture toward the sleepy assassin.
Steve nodded. "Yeah, he told me to be attentive to his energy levels. He mentioned that he'll probably vacillate between restlessness and lethargy as he gets used to the treatments."
They bagged up the clothes and shoes again, allowing him to keep the new clothes on that he'd just donned, and escorted the Soldier back to the infirmary. By the time they reached the room, the Soldier was nearly dragging his feet and his eyes were glazed.
She and Steve deposited the shopping bags on the table near the door as they entered. Natasha helped Steve to get him undressed and into the bed. He was sound asleep even before they were able to cover him with blankets.
Bruce stepped into the room just as Steve raised the bedrail to keep the Soldier safely in place in case of nightmares or seizures. He looked to the clock on the wall – 8:34 p.m.
"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "I think next time I'll give him his treatment at bedtime. Hopefully he'll sleep through the night now. I wasn't expecting him to go down so early."
"I'll sit with him for a while to be sure he stays asleep," Steve told him. "That way, if it's just a quick nap he won't wake up alone."
"Call me if you need me," Bruce told him and left them alone.
An hour later, Steve decided the Soldier was not going to be waking up any time soon so he turned off the lights and shut the door as he left. He peeked in on Clint who was on monitoring duty down the hall. He offered to give him a break before he was left to his duties for the next four hours until he switched off with Tony. Clint declined the break with a smile and a thank you. Steve let him know he was in charge now and they said good night.
Thankfully, there were no alerts sent out for the remainder of the evening. The drugs had done their job and kept the Soldier in a relaxed state the entire night.
Bruce did check on him one last time around 11 p.m. before he headed to bed. He was pleased, and a bit surprised, to note just how deeply the Soldier slept under the influence of the tranquilizing drugs. He figured it was probably a combination of the drugs and just plain old exhaustion.
The next morning, Steve headed down to the Soldier's room to get him up for a shower and breakfast. On his way down, the elevator stopped and, when the doors opened, Sam was standing there.
"Morning," he offered to Steve.
"Morning," Steve greeted him with a smile and stepped to the side to make space for him to enter.
"I talked to Tony last night, about wanting a spot on the team," Sam told him.
"And?"
Sam took a deep breath and said, "He offered me his spot."
"Oh? Well… that's good. It's what you wanted," Steve replied.
"Yeah, umm… apparently, he's been keeping busy doing some work… studying the Soldier's uniform -."
"His uniform?" Steve repeated, thinking that was strange.
It was mostly a black leather jacket and heavy canvas pants and combat style boots. It was designed to enable the Soldier to carry an arsenal of weapons and explosives as he moved on foot. It was also designed, obviously, to strike terror in anyone who laid eyes on him, because the mask and goggles… and the metal arm… dehumanized him to onlookers. That outfit demonized the Soldier to the world.
He looked like a terrorist… a killer straight out of a horror movie… and it served to keep him isolated from the rest of humanity and completely cut off from all physical and sensory stimulation.
Steve hated that outfit.
"Yeah, well… you know how Tony is about suits," Sam mentioned. "If you ask me it looks like something a porn star would wear in a BDSM movie."
"Sam!" Steve scolded, completely shocked by such a comment. He was certain Sam was trying to be funny, but the image it produced in his head, of Bucky being used in such a manner, unsettled him to the core.
"Sorry," Sam offered. "You heading down there now?"
"Yeah," Steve nodded.
"What's the plan?" Sam asked.
"A shower and breakfast," Steve told him. "After that… I'll figure something out."
"Well, good luck. I'm heading to the gym… already had breakfast."
The elevator stopped and the doors opened.
"I'll catch up to you later," Steve told him, his hand slapped down on Sam's shoulder as a friendly gesture and Sam nodded as Cap stepped out and headed down the hall.
The Soldier stepped into the shower this time on his own accord after Steve turned it on and checked the water temperature. He washed his body and hair without any wasted time and rinsed off.
Steve had remained in the bathroom to keep an eye on him, but other than simply supervising, Steve was pleased that he hadn't been needed. When the curtain was pulled aside and the Soldier stepped out, Steve stood up and grabbed a towel to hand to him. He dried his own hair and quickly took care of his arms, legs, chest and belly. When Steve pointed below his belly, the Soldier looked down and then rubbed the towel over his private parts. When he was done he just stood there looking at the blond man.
Steve stepped over to him and took the towel out of his hands. He made a move to step behind him and the Soldier immediately spun around to keep him in front of him.
The move surprised Steve and he froze. The Soldier was now looking at him with a hard stare and slowly lowered his head as if in challenge. Steve swallowed nervously. He wondered briefly what had just happened and then realized he'd moved to get behind the Soldier without saying anything to him as to what his intentions were.
"I… was just going to dry your back," Steve told him, holding up the towel.
The Soldier's gaze never shifted.
Steve had noted previously that, usually when someone showed the Soldier something his eyes would move to the object. He didn't do that this time. His stare was intense and unwavering and Steve felt he'd made a grave mistake.
The calm and compliant Soldier from yesterday was gone and a new, more menacing, Soldier stood in his place. He knew this one, Steve realized. This was the Soldier that had tried to take him out on the causeway. This was the Soldier who had shot him three times… and Natasha twice. This was the Winter Soldier, standing wet and naked in front of him and Steve was absolutely certain that he was seconds away from having to fight for his life.
"Steve?"
Natasha's voice called from the other room.
The two men continued to stare at one another, neither one dared to flinch.
"Steve? Are you here?" she called out again.
"Yeah…" Steve replied, raising his volume slightly so she could hear him. "We're in the bathroom. Just… wait out there, okay?"
The Soldier continued to hold his gaze as the blond man responded to the female in the other room.
Steve held his hands up in front of him; still holding the damp towel in his left hand. The Soldier's gaze shifted to the towel and he reached out with his right hand and tugged the towel downward, releasing it from the blond man's hand.
He simply stood there, holding the towel and waiting for Steve's next move. Steve realized if the Soldier was going to make a move on him he would have done it by now, so he took a step sideways very slowly. The Soldier's eyes followed him as he stepped again toward the door.
As the blond man moved further away, the Soldier turned his head slightly to keep him in view but he didn't move from his spot.
Natasha waited for Steve and Soldat to finish the morning shower ritual; which was what she assumed was going on in there.
She smiled when she saw movement at the door and thought they were coming out. When she saw Steve slowly stepping backwards out the bathroom door with his hands up in front of him as if showing he wasn't a threat, she straightened, on alert.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"He's just… finishing up," Steve told her without looking at her.
"Steve?" she said as if demanding an explanation as to what was happening. She stepped up to the right side of the bed and leaned over it, trying to see into the bathroom. "Where is he?"
"He's right there," she told him. "He's just drying off."
"Something happened," she said, deducing that for herself. "What happened?"
"Oh… I guess he woke up in a mood," Steve offered as an explanation.
The Winter Soldier stepped out of the bathroom still staring hard at Steve and Natasha recognized the change in him immediately. She straightened from her position and was geared up to take action if needed.
"Soldat?" she said, keeping her tone calm and controlled.
He shifted his gaze from Steve and looked at her.
"Stand down," she told him.
His demeanor didn't change; he continued to stare, but at her now.
"Soldat," she repeated, "Vstat."
She gave him an order in Russian and his gaze shifted. He blinked and seemed to be trying to comprehend the order.
"Vstat, Soldat," she repeated, telling him to stand down.
He seemed reluctant to do that, but his posture relaxed and he lowered his gaze to a neutral position. It appeared as though a switch had been thrown and Steve watched him still concerned.
Natasha also watched him closely, but he showed no more aggression nor made an attempt to defy the order. Natasha glanced at Steve who hadn't moved at all during her exchange with the Soldier.
"Steve?" she said.
"Yeah?"
"You can put your hands down," she told him.
He looked at her sidelong and she nodded. Steve slowly lowered his hands and closed his stance. He watched the Soldier for another moment as the man stared as if through the wall, a thousand yards away.
He and Natasha waited. They made no moves or sounds and just watched the Soldier as he stood there, naked and seemingly unaware, staring through the wall. A few minutes passed by and then the Soldier blinked once very slowly… and then again. His gaze shifted and his eyes refocused. He blinked rapidly and looked around as if dazed and unsure of what was happening.
"Hey, buddy," Steve said softly.
He could clearly see that the Winter Soldier – the menacing one, the one Tony declared as "a threat to every living thing" was no longer in the room with them. This Soldier was the one they'd had dinner with last night and had tried on numerous changes of clothes patiently and did as Natasha and he asked.
It took Natasha an extra few seconds to realize the threat had passed. She glanced between the two men and then became quite aware that one of them was standing there naked. She turned away and went to the bags that had been left piled on the table near the door. She opened one and then another until she found what she was looking for.
She pulled out a pair of socks and briefs and walked them over to the bed. She dropped them there so Steve could make sure he started to dress. She went back to the bags and haphazardly pulled shirts and pants out and as she walked back to the bed she glanced at Soldat and saw that he'd already put on the briefs and was working on socks.
She laid all the shirts flat side by side so he could see them clearly. Then she unfolded the four pairs of pants just halfway and laid them side by side and waited for him to come over and choose what he wanted to wear today.
Once he'd gotten the socks on, Steve gestured at the clothes and Soldat simply looked at all the clothes now displayed across the bed.
"You can choose what to wear today… if you want," Steve told him.
Soldat just looked at him as if he didn't understand and then back down at the clothes. He didn't move. At first Steve and Natasha thought he was deciding but when minutes passed by they realized he was just simply waiting.
Natasha picked up a dark blue Henley style shirt. She'd seen him wearing Steve's dark red one and opted to buy him a few because he looked really good in the style. She handed it to Steve who then handed it to Soldat. She waited for him to finish putting it on and straightened it himself and then she picked up a pair of light blue jeans and handed them to him. Soldat took the jeans and unfolded them. He pulled them on and secured them.
Natasha grabbed the boots she'd picked out for him to wear as every day and dropped them near the chair. Steve moved aside so he could sit down to put them on.
Once he was dressed the three went upstairs for breakfast. Steve filled their plates as usual and brought them back to the table. He noticed that the Soldier didn't seem very enthusiastic about the food in front of him. Steve tried a few times to get him to focus on the meal, but other than a couple of bites of scrambled eggs and a piece of bacon, they couldn't get him to eat.
Steve remembered what Bruce had told them about the changes in his behavior as he went through the withdrawal treatment so, even though he really wanted to see him eat, Steve didn't push him beyond the couple of bites he'd taken.
As he and Nat finished their own meals, Steve decided he was going to take his friend outside again and let him get some fresh air. Natasha mentioned she was going to the gym and Steve remembered that Sam was going there too.
"We'll meet up with you there after our walk," Steve told her.