Avengers: Search for the Winter Soldier
Chapter 26
Title: After the Flash
Summary: After a very unsettling episode with the Soldier when buried memories come to the surface, Steve tries to get things back on level ground even as Natasha learns of the event.
Several hours had passed since the Soldier had been returned to his room after the exam and Steve still hadn't moved from his seat. Bruce repeatedly looked up from his work on the laptop to regard the Captain's condition before finally taking off his glasses and swiveling his chair to face Rogers.
"Steve," he said. It took another moment for the single word to penetrate Steve's brain to realize he was being summoned. He raised his head and looked over at Dr. Banner. "You've been sitting there for hours," Bruce told him. "You need to get out of this room and get some exercise and something to eat."
Steve shook his head and lowered his gaze again. "I'm good," he replied.
"No, you're not," Bruce countered and stood up. "I want you to go for a walk and get something to eat."
"I'm fine, Bruce."
"Sounds to me like doctor's orders," Emily stated as she entered the room. "Steve… Bruce is right. You're not doing anyone any good by not taking care of yourself. Go upstairs and get something to eat. You already missed lunch."
Steve looked up at her and then to Bruce. Banner's expression told him in no uncertain terms that Dr. Golden was correct and now he had two physicians squaring off with him.
"If he wakes up, I -," Steve began to argue.
"If he wakes up, Bruce and I will be here for him," Dr. Golden assured him. "Go," she told him.
Steve looked back at Barnes who was still sleeping off the sedative after the examination. He didn't feel at all comfortable leaving the room, but he also wasn't feeling up to taking on both doctors in an argument. They were right anyway. He needed to get up and stretch before his muscles began to cramp up. He'd be no good for anyone if the situation went sideways again and he was unable to assist. He nodded reluctantly and stood up.
"I'll be back shortly," he told them.
"No rush," Dr. Golden told him. "We've got it under control."
"For now," Steve reminded her and looked at Barnes again. "The situation is always under control when he's out cold."
Emily gave him a sad smile; she couldn't disagree with that statement. She and Bruce waited for Steve to exit the room and then began a routine evaluation of their patient's condition.
"Well, he's not wrong," Dr. Golden said with a grin after Steve left the room.
"No, he isn't," Bruce agreed. He began to dig through his doctor's bag and came out with an object that looked like a white plastic pistol. Dr. Golden recognized it as a hospital grade no contact thermometer. Dr. Banner turned it on as he moved up to the side of the bed. He pointed it at the Soldier's forehead and it immediately began to audibly alarm. Dr. Golden looked over at him. "103.2," Bruce told her. "I don't want it getting any higher. If you could get a cold cloth, I'm going to start him on IV fluids. He tried to drink some water earlier and ended up vomiting it all back up. He's going to need fluids if we're to have any hope in controlling his temperature."
Emily nodded and went to the bathroom. She returned a moment later with a cold wet cloth and placed it on the Soldier's forehead. She noted his ghostly pallor and his skin glistened with sweat.
"It's been hours since you sedated him," she mentioned as Bruce worked on the other side of the bed. "Shouldn't he have metabolized that by now?"
Bruce nodded as he inserted a needle into the Soldier's right arm and secured it. "I think he's already metabolized the sedative," he informed her. "I think he's just unconscious at this point, most likely due to the other effects of his brain misfiring."
"How long do you think it'll be before I can start effectual therapy sessions with him?" Golden asked.
"Oh," Bruce thought about that and shook his head. "It won't be any time soon," he told her. "We have maybe weeks of just dealing with acute withdrawal symptoms… both physical and psychological. Steve will actually be dealing with most of the psychological and emotional issues, because I can pretty much guarantee that those will manifest as physical outbursts and he'll need to be controlled. For now, all of his treatment will be medically focused… until we get him past the more acute symptoms of withdrawal. As he detoxes we might have to deal with post-acute withdrawal syndrome… and, again, most of that will be piled onto Steve. He's really the only person here who can take what the Soldier will be dishing out.
"Most of your effectual therapy sessions, I would think, are going to be focused on Steve and Nat and the others as they deal not only with Barnes but also with anything dragged up from their own pasts," he told her.
"True. I'm glad I'm here," she told him.
"We're glad you're here too," he replied. "I'll be right back. I need to get some bags from the lab."
Bruce walked out and Emily lifted the wet cloth and returned to the bathroom. She rinsed it in cold water and returned to the Soldier's bedside. She used the cloth to wipe down his face and neck and reached over him to wipe it down his right arm, being careful of the line Bruce had started. She returned to the bathroom and rinsed it again and when she returned to his side, she carefully laid the cool cloth across his forehead. For a brief second her heart jumped into her throat as it occurred to her that she was all alone with the Soldier, but she immediately pushed down that sense of panic. There was no need to fear those things that haven't happened. She focused on tending to him as she would any other patient who needed her care.
Steve stepped off the elevator and into the assembly room. Some of the other Avengers were there already, waiting for the evening meal. He looked at the clock on the wall; 17:14 hours. 5:14 pm. The entire day had gone by in a flash and yet it had seemed to take forever to get to this point.
He went over to the coffee maker and chose a mug from the tree on the counter. He poured and put the carafe back on the heating plate and looked around the common area as he took a long sip.
Wanda and Vision were playing a game of chess in the recreation area. Natasha and Clint were practically huddled together on the sofa watching a movie. He looked at the screen for a moment but didn't readily recognize the movie they were watching. Tony was sitting with Sam at a dining table and they both looked over at him. He acknowledged them with a nod and Sam said something to Tony and slid out of his seat.
"How are you doing?" Sam asked him as he approached. Steve shrugged and sipped his coffee. "That was an intense scene…" he said, testing Steve's reaction. Steve didn't really react to the mention of it though, as if he didn't really know how to respond. Sam watched him closely. "You okay?"
Natasha overheard Sam's question and looked over her shoulder to watch the two men in the kitchen area. Steve thought about the question and then shook his head no. Natasha sat up, concerned and then excused herself from Clint's side. Steve looked at her as she walked over to them. She gave Sam a nod and he nodded back and then left the two of them to talk. Sam didn't know if Clint had told her what had transpired a few hours ago, but he knew he hadn't mentioned it to her.
"What's going on?" she asked Rogers after Sam had returned to his seat. "How's Barnes doing?" she asked.
"He's sleeping," Steve told her.
"Is he all right?" she asked again, concerned.
"Yeah," Steve answered, not sounding all that convincing and Natasha frowned. "There was an incident earlier… but Bruce has him sedated now. He's sleeping it off. I didn't want to leave until he woke up, but the doctors ordered me out of the room."
Natasha nodded. "Do you want to go for a walk? Get some fresh air?" she asked. Steve shook his head again.
"No… thanks though. I just came up to get a cup of coffee. I'm planning to go right back. I want to be there when he wakes up."
Natasha nodded again. "I can understand that," she told him. "Have you eaten today?"
"No, not really," he told her. "Not since breakfast."
Natasha nodded, going through the day's events in her head. They'd had breakfast and then he'd taken the Soldier for a walk. Following that, there was the brief incident in the gym with Tony then the Soldier had collapsed on the way back to his room. All of that had taken place before lunch and it was now dinner time; she wondered now just how much she had missed while going about her other business.
"If you want to wait a few minutes I can make up a couple of plates for you to bring back. He'll probably be hungry too," she told him.
"I'm not hungry," he told her. "I don't know if Bucky can keep anything down. The effects of his withdrawal are making his stomach revolt against anything he puts in it."
"Oh, right," she acknowledged. "Well, you should at least eat something –-," she began but he cut her off.
"I'm not hungry!" he nearly shouted at her. Tony and Sam looked over at them, as did Wanda and Vision, and even Clint sat up and turned around to make sure everything was all right. "Sorry," Steve apologized to her. "It's just… maybe later," he told her.
"Okay," she said, nodding. She put her hand on his arm in support; she hadn't taken offense of his heated reply. "I'll check in with you in a little while. Okay?"
Steve nodded and put his mug on the counter. He'd only drunk half of it, but the urge to be nearby when the Soldier woke up was pushing him to return. "Thanks, Nat. See you in a bit."
She nodded and watched him exit the common area. Once he was out of sight, she marched over to joined Sam and Tony at their table.
"Okay, what did I miss?" she asked them.
Tony looked at Sam, who was looking back at him. Sam realized Tony was expecting him to be the one to tell her. He kept the details of what they all believed to have been the center of the incident out of the explanation, but he did tell her that the Soldier had experienced an intense flashback while being cared for by Steve and Bruce. He related that they had received a call for assistance from Dr. Golden and that when they arrived to offer assistance they had found Steve in the bathroom pinning the Soldier to the floor and not having an easy time of it.
Clint came over to join the other three and told her that the Soldier was in a psychotic state when they arrived; screaming and trying to fight off Cap with everything he had. They told her that they didn't know exactly what the flashback was about or what had triggered it, but it had been a very unsettling thing to witness and to have to take part in. The three men left it at that; not offering any further detail, because, frankly, not one of them was comfortable with sharing what they believed to be the cause of the Soldier's traumatic recurrence. It was much too personal.
Natasha listened to the explanation and then decided to go to the infirmary to be with Steve. She didn't want him to be alone while he waited for the Soldier to awaken. When she entered the room, she was pleased to see that he wasn't alone. She nodded to Dr. Golden, who was placing a cold wash cloth on the Soldier's forehead. His cheeks were flushed pink and his skin looked clammy. Natasha rested her hand on his bare forearm, noting how warm his skin was. She looked to Emily again.
"Elevated temperature," Golden answered, even though the question wasn't asked.
"This is normal, right?" Natasha asked.
"Well, considering what he's going through, yes," Dr. Golden told her.
"I've been able to ascertain, based on the signs and symptoms he's been presenting, that the part of his brain that is being affected by the drug withdrawal is the hypothalamus," Bruce told her.
"What does that mean?" Natasha asked.
"The hypothalamus is a gland in the front of the brain that controls the release of hormones to the pituitary gland and that, in turn, sends the hormones out to different organs in the body. Remember when I explained that the drugs he's been given had, over time, reconfigured the way his brain works?"
"I remember," Nat told him.
"Now that those drugs are being withheld, or more precisely, the amounts are being lessened; his brain is being forced to learn a new way of sending signals to different functions. While it relearns how to do that, there's going to be a lot of issues with different functions. The hypothalamus is often referred to as "the brain's brain", meaning it's extremely important in ensuring the body's systems act and react accordingly," Banner explained while he worked. "The imbalances in his brain; originally caused by the drugs… are now being caused by the withholding of those drugs and it's causing the hypothalamus to short circuit…"
"So the hypothalamus regulates body temperature?" Nat asked.
"It has a number of important functions actually," Bruce told her, as he attached the tubing from the IV bag. "Regulating body temperature is one. It also plays an important role in regulating emotions. Pleasure, rage, and fear are controlled by the lateral parts of the hypothalamus while the median parts have control over aversion and displeasure. It also controls the heart rate and blood pressure, appetite and issues with appetite, including thirst and the body's ability to absorb fluids. Weight gain or loss, sleep cycles, either sleeping too much or being unable to sleep at all… it regulates emotional responses and sexual behavior. It's responsible for maintaining the body's whole internal hormonal balance and that balance is known as homeostasis," Bruce continued to explain, feeling as though he was repeating the information. He didn't mind though; it was imperative that they understood the issues they were going to face and he couldn't emphasize those issues enough.
"What his brain is trying to do now is adapt to the changes we're causing to his brain's chemical functioning and it's trying to find a new homeostasis," Banner continued.
"What they originally did to him… when they chemically altered the way his brain functions…. They literally transformed him from who he was, into what they wanted him to be. The Winter Soldier; that killing machine bent on destroying whatever target he's pointed at… there's nothing about that creation that is Sgt. James Barnes. He literally cannot be held responsible for anything he's done under Hydra's control, because none of it has been controlled by him. He doesn't have the ability to make choices for himself or the knowledge needed to question his handlers. He doesn't have the ability to make his own judgments regarding any given situation," Bruce explained to her and he noticed Steve was now listening to him intently.
"It's like taking the original engine out of a car and replacing it with something with more power, more torque, more… everything. It's not a stock version of the model. It looks like one thing on the outside, but all the internal workings have been changed to be more powerful than what it was originally intended to be.
"All of these drugs that are in his system… the anti-psychotics, the anti-depressants, the psychotropic drugs, the benzodiazepines… each one of these drugs, by itself, can have devastating effects on how the hypothalamus functions. They've saturated his brain with these drugs until it had no choice but to re-program itself to accommodate the chemical changes," Bruce continued to explain as he set added the saline drip bag to the IV he'd set up a few minutes ago and adjusted the flow.
"What happened this afternoon," Bruce told them. "That's the tip of the iceberg. He hasn't even started to show us the distress he's in." Bruce paused to look directly at Steve. "You think that was tough? You're the only super soldier the Avengers have on site," he reminded Steve. "We need you to maintain your own balance so you can keep up with what he's going to be throwing our way. When I tell you to get something to eat or to go for a walk, it's because we need you to stay strong and healthy so you can help him. He's going to need you… we're all going to need you, Steve… to keep him from hurting himself or any one of us. Understand?"
Steve hadn't realized that earlier when the doctors ordered him out of the room. Now he understood and nodded.
"Did you get something to eat when you left?" Bruce asked him. Steve shook his head. "You need to eat."
Natasha turned to look at Steve and gave him a sad, but compassionate smile. "I'll go make some sandwiches, okay? But if I go through the work of making them, you have to eat them," she told him.
Steve gave her a very small grin. "I promise."
"Okay, I'll be back shortly," she told them and headed for the door.
"I'll help you," Emily said and followed her out of the room.
The women returned about twenty minutes later with a tray of assorted sandwiches all cut in half to make easier eating. Emily figured they might as well make enough for everyone as none of them had gotten any dinner yet.
Steve found out that he was actually famished when he easily downed two halves and was slowly finishing a third. Natasha was in the middle of her second half when movement on the bed caught their attention.
Steve dropped the last of his sandwich onto the tray when he saw the Soldier's hand move as if he had tried to lift it but wasn't strong enough and it fell back to his side. Steve stood up and stepped up to the rail slowly so as not to startle the man. His eyes hadn't opened yet, but it was clear he was starting to wake up. His head lolled to the side as he tried to force his eyes open. Steve could see it was taking a lot of effort for him to do that. He reached down and pressed the button to raise the head of the bed a little so the Soldier could see them all easily when he finally succeeded in opening his eyes.
The movement of the bed caused a bout of vertigo and the Soldier's hands flew up as he tried to find his balance. Both hands came down hard on the bed rails and he gripped them firmly to try to assuage the sensation. Steve responded to the panicked reaction by grasping the Soldier's forearm, trying to lend him a sense of support. When he felt a hand grip his arm, the Soldier forced his eyes open to try to make sense of what was happening.