Avengers: Search for the Winter Soldier
Chapter 41
Title: Emergence
Summary: Steve wakes up after a late night to find his guest staring at him. He decides to spend the day with him outside of the infirmary and away from psyche evaluations.
The morning sun was harsh and blinding even through his closed eyelids. Steve moaned and draped an arm over his eyes until he could get his wits about him and turned his face away from the window. He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to remember what had happened to make him feel so sluggish. He hadn't been drinking… he and Natasha had stayed up late. They'd stayed up late playing dominoes with…i the Soldier/i.
Steve's eyes opened wide as he sat up abruptly, suddenly remembering that the Winter Soldier had been in his apartment and had fallen asleep in his chair in the early hours of the morning. He nearly shot off the couch until he saw the Soldier was still sitting in the chair watching him. Seeing that the Soldier had stayed where he'd left him and nothing bad had taken place, Steve powered down; now feeling a little foolish for over-reacting. "Hey," he greeted his guest, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he got himself squared away. The Soldier didn't respond to his greeting, merely watching as Rodzhers yawned and stretched and did his best to fully awaken.
Steve looked over at him. "Did you get enough sleep?" he asked. The Soldier blinked and appeared to think about that question. A moment later he gave a single nod. "Good," Steve replied. "Are you hungry?" The Soldier's gaze shifted from him to focus inward and it appeared that he was mulling over the question. "We can make something here or go to the common area where the others are probably getting together…" The Soldier glanced toward the kitchen and then back at Rodzhers. Steve gave a nod and smiled. "I agree. Let's eat here."
He stood up and walked to the kitchen. He removed a pan from a lower cabinet and placed it on the stove top then opened the refrigerator door. The Soldier watched him as he moved around the space and then stood up and moved closer to the island that separated the cooking area from the dining area. He watched Rodzhers place items on the counter and then turn toward him. As he turned, Steve took a deep breath preparing to call over to the Soldier and caught himself as the Soldier was now standing three feet away from him. He hadn't heard him move so he was taken by surprise, but the Soldier just stood there looking at him almost casually. Steve paused and shifted gears. "I need to use the bathroom," he told his guest. "I'll be right back."
The Soldier nodded in understanding and watched as he disappeared into the other room. Steve took care of his needs quickly, not wanting to keep out of sight too long. He opened the door and peered out as he was drying his hands on a towel, prepared to see the apartment door standing open and the Soldier gone, however he was still standing beside the island and turned his head to look at him as the door opened.
Steve draped the hand towel over the rack again and came out of the bathroom, stopping a couple of feet away from the Soldier and the two just looked at each other. The Soldier's expression showed no anger or resentment toward Steve, as best as he could tell. He knew this one wasn't Soldat, but the aggression and vehemence of the Winter Soldier was no longer front and center. The eyes looking back at him in this moment belonged to someone he knew decades ago. He couldn't help but feel as though Bucky was close enough to touch. If he could just figure out how to breach the hard outer shell that Hydra had created, he'd find Bucky right under the surface. He was sure of it. iCrack him like an egg and Bucky would pour right out/i. It was almost like a twin sense, he thought to himself, thinking about the things Wanda had told him about how she and Pietro could always sense when the other was close by or in danger. Steve realized the Soldier was watching him the entire time he was lost in his thoughts so he pushed away those odd sensations and gave his guest a polite smile.
"You want bacon and eggs or French toast?" Steve asked. He knew French toast was Bucky's favorite and, if he were here, he'd always choose French toast, but he wanted to see if the Soldier would choose for himself. Steve watched as the Soldier's eyes moved away from him to the kitchen and the items on the counter; a package of bacon, a carton of eggs and a half gallon of milk. He took a step toward Steve and paused, waiting for him to step back. When Rodzhers realized he needed to move aside he took a step backward and the Soldier side-stepped past him to enter the kitchen. He looked at all the closed cabinets above the counter then looked down at the sink. Steve watched him, wondering what he was doing and hoping he wasn't looking for a knife.
The Soldier looked down to his right and reached for the handle of the top drawer. Steve tensed and prepared himself for action. The Soldier caught his reaction from the corner of his eye and realized that wasn't the drawer he wanted. He stopped his hand before touching that handle and then dropped it down, pulling open the deep second drawer which held a package of onion bagels and half a loaf of bread. The Soldier reached in and came out with the bread and laid it on the counter beside the carton of eggs. He looked over his shoulder at Steve who let out the breath he was holding and visibly relaxed his stance.
He stared at the Soldier who was holding his gaze. Steve wondered for a moment if he was asking for an egg sandwich or the French toast which he'd suggested. It had to be the latter, he thought. It had to be Bucky influencing the Soldier. He clearly remembered the Soldier saying his name last night and realized it had to have been Bucky. He had recognized him.
"Bucky?" he asked; hoping.
The Soldier's gaze shifted away from him and his brow creased. Something was definitely happening here; it was obvious that the Soldier still had control, but he seemed confused. Steve wondered if he was seeing bits of memory that seemed familiar to him and didn't know why. He didn't miss the fact that the Soldier had somehow known exactly where Steve kept the bread. Bucky knew that detail; his entire life Steve had kept the bread in the second drawer between the sink and the refrigerator. His mother had kept the bread in the same drawer and Steve carried that habit into his adult life. Bucky had spent so much time at the Rogers' home growing up that he knew that detail.
Steve moved back into the kitchen and around the Soldier who watched him closely. He turned a dial on the stove, placed the pan on the burner and opened the package of bacon. Steve looked at the Soldier and noted that he was closely watching everything he was doing so he reached for the carton of eggs and slid it closer to him. The Soldier looked down at it and then at Steve. Steve grinned at him and then opened a cabinet above the counter in front of the Soldier. "Excuse me," he said as he reached across in front of the Soldier to bring down a large mixing bowl. He set it on the counter in front of them.
"If you want to help," Steve told him, "you can crack the eggs into the bowl." The Soldier looked down at all the stuff in front of him and back at Steve. Steve shrugged and smiled. "It was just a suggestion."
As Steve pulled strips of bacon out of the package and placed them in the heated pan they immediately sizzled and drew the Soldier's attention. The smell of bacon cooking had always been the best fragrance inside their apartment decades ago. Steve realized that there were other scents that were missing; the odors that would have made this instance feel even more familiar, the stale smell of smoke from Bucky's cigarettes and the odor from the fish market on the corner. The only scent that had been able to push back the smell of dead fish from the street below was freshly brewed coffee; which reminded him-
He moved to the left and grabbed the can of coffee and a filter. The Soldier watched Steve as he placed everything inside the coffee maker and began to fill the carafe with water from the faucet to pour into the reservoir tank. As Rodzhers did that, the Soldier flipped open the cover to the egg carton and took out an egg.
Steve caught the movement and as he poured the water into the tank, he watched the Soldier pick up an egg with his metal hand. It still amazed him that the bionic arm could wield such immense power and yet his hand was so adept at handling delicate things. Steve couldn't pick an egg out of a carton wearing thick gloves but that metal hand had retrieved one with ease and exceptional dexterity. He watched the Soldier as he looked at the egg closely, spinning it slowly in his fingers. Then he reached for the bowl with his right hand; pulling it closer to him, he slammed the egg on the edge of the bowl. The shell shattered and most of the egg went onto the counter and the rest slid into the bowl along with half the shell.
The Soldier looked at him and Steve smiled. He grabbed a length of paper towels and proceeded to wipe up the mess. He held his hand out, palm up and the Soldier placed the shell remnants in his hand. After depositing the broken shell into the trash he picked up the bowl and dumped its contents before rinsing it to remove the tiny pieces of shell left behind. He then placed the bowl back on the counter and picked up an egg. He tapped it gently on the edge of the bowl a couple of times and then he showed the Soldier how to push his thumbs inside the opening and pull the shell away from the contents inside. He let it drop into the bowl and then placed the empty shell in the sink.
The Soldier took a breath and let it out then reached for another egg. He tapped it on the edge of the bowl more gently and used his thumbs to pry it apart, letting the egg fall into the bowl. He looked at the yolks floating in the bowl and then placed the empty shell in the sink. He looked at Rodzhers who smiled and nodded. "There you go. Do that to the rest of them." Steve went back to turning the bacon while the Soldier made his way through the entire carton of eggs.
Steve pulled the last strips of bacon from the pan and placed them with the others on a plate covered in paper towels. He poured most of the grease into an old coffee can that he'd repurposed for saving cooking grease so he didn't have to pour it down the drain. He placed the hot pan back on the burner to stay hot and grabbed a whisk from the utensil holder hanging on the wall over the counter. He turned to hand it to the Soldier, but he was no longer with him in the kitchen.
Steve turned to see him now standing in front of the bookcase. He appeared to be reading the titles but Steve couldn't be sure. He felt a pang in his chest as he thought about Bucky's year round, favorite pastime; reading. He loved science fiction and horror stories. Steve paused with that thought; realizing it had probably been at least seven decades since his friend had been allowed to read a book and then realized Bucky's life had turned into one of those horror stories he used to love to read about. The two friends were quite different in that regard because Steve never really understood Bucky's need to believe in things that weren't true. Steve, on the other hand, was a big history buff and found it more enjoyable to read non-fiction stories about real people who did amazing things in their lifetimes. Bucky was the one who dragged him to the Stark Expo every year. The last one they attended together was in 1943 and Barnes had just lit up when Howard pulled out all the stops to reveal his newest invention – a car that levitated. Maybe, he thought, progress was actually only possible because of people like Howard Stark and Bucky Barnes who dared to dream the impossible.
When the oil in the nearly forgotten pan became overheated it bubbled and let out a loud pop that made the Soldier turn to see Rodzhers watching him. Steve was more than willing to let him keep exploring; hoping the more he looked around, perhaps things would start to feel familiar to him. The Soldier looked back at the books and then turned away from them. He made his way back to the island and watched from the other side as the blonde man beat the eggs in the bowl, added a little cinnamon and sugar and then dropped slices of bread into it before placing them in the pan. Within a few minutes, Steve set two plates stacked high with French toast on the table. He poured the last of the egg mixture into the hot pan and quickly stirred up scrambled eggs and deposited those on the two plates as the Soldier watched.
After returning the hot pan to the stove and ensuring the burner was turned off, Steve grabbed two mugs and the coffee pot. He brought them back to the table and placed the carafe on a trivet in front of the Soldier and set up the two mugs. The Soldier looked at him and Steve gave him a small grin. "You want to pour?" he asked.
The Soldier looked at him and then down at the mugs. He reached for the coffee pot and glanced at Rodzhers again. Steve smiled and left him to it as he went to the fridge to get the butter and syrup. On his way back to the table he also grabbed the salt and pepper shakers from the island. He put everything in the center of the table and watched as the Soldier finished filling the second mug and placed the pot back on the trivet. Steve sat, chose a mug for himself and picked up his fork. "I'm hungry! Let's eat before it gets cold," he said. The Soldier pulled out a chair and sat down in front of the other plate. He watched Rodzhers for a moment then sipped his coffee and began to eat.
When they'd finished their breakfast, Steve collected their plates and mugs, rinsing them off and leaving them in the sink to be washed later. He paused there, looking at the Soldier still sitting at the table and thought about what they could do today. They had the whole morning to do whatever they wanted since they weren't expected to be in Dr. Golden's office until after lunch.
The Soldier looked around, only half-interested in the things in the apartment before turning to look at Steve. The expression on his face pulled at Steve's emotions. It was serious but it was laced with something else: was it confusion? Or wonder? - Maybe uncertainty? He didn't know what to label it, but he clearly recognized it: it was the same expression Bucky always wore while waiting patiently for Steve to make up his mind about… well, anything.
"You want to go to the gym?" Steve asked before giving himself time to really consider what he was asking.
The Soldier looked at him with that expression still on his face and Steve smiled to himself. i 'Make a decision, would you, Rogers?'/i he could hear Bucky saying, i'I swear to God, if my life depended on you ever making a quick decision I'd be dead by now.'/i
He thought about the fact that neither had showered yet, but he figured if they were going to do anything physical in the gym they might as well wait until they were done there. iMake a decision, Rogers/i. Steve smiled at himself and straightened. "Come on. Let's go."
The Soldier stood up and followed Rodzhers out of the apartment.
On the walk down to the gym, Steve thought it might be a good idea to get a few teammates in there with him – just in case. So he tapped his earwig and let them know that he was taking the Soldier to the gym for some physical activity if anyone wanted to join them.
When they walked into the gym, Sam was already there and it looked like he'd been there for a while. He was sweaty and in the middle of some dumbbell reps and he lifted his chin in greeting when Steve caught his eye.
Steve stopped nearby and waited for Sam to finish his count. The Soldier walked past him and stopped near the adjustable weight bench where a loaded barbell rested in the rack above the headrest.
"Take a seat," Steve invited him, gesturing toward the reclined bench.
The Soldier looked at him and then looked at the bench. Sam put his dumbbells down on the floor by his feet, pausing his bicep curls to watch. The Soldier looked at him as if considering both men and then swung a leg over the bench and sat down straddling it. He leaned back against the raised back support and looked up at the large barbell over his head. There were three medium sized plates on either side of the barbell and a smaller disc to the outside of those: each medium plate was 5o lbs and the smaller weight plate was 25 lbs.
"Just reach up and see if you can lift it off the rack," Sam told him.
The Soldier looked at him and then up at the barbell. He reached up and grasped the bar, took a deep breath and pushed up, easily lifting the bar off the rack. He held it there for a few seconds and then bent his elbows, bringing the bar down to his chest. He raised it over his head again, doing a few more reps before placing it back on the rack above him.
"Holy crap," Sam commented, his eyes wide.
"How much is on that bar?" Steve asked.
"That's 350 pounds plus the 45 pound barbell. He didn't even strain under it."
The Soldier stood up from the bench and walked around the gym, taking in all the equipment. Steve and Sam watched him.
"He doesn't say a lot, does he?" Sam commented.
"I guess he doesn't have anything to say," Steve replied.
"Well, that's logical," Sam stated and then frowned with a thought. "He does talk, right?"
"Yeah," Steve told him. "He talks… when he has something to say."
"There's a whole lot of thinking going on in that cyborg brain. Makes me nervous," Sam told him.
Steve couldn't deny he often had the same sensation, but there was something happening with the Soldier now that felt different somehow. He walked over to the Soldier to see if he could engage him in conversation but before he reached him the Soldier turned away and looked up at the sparring ring. Steve looked up at it as he moved closer to the Soldier, wondering what he was thinking. The Soldier turned and raised a single eyebrow at him and Steve realized he was being invited - or challenged - to spar with the Winter Soldier.
Sam watched them from his seat on the fixed weight bench and saw the two of them look at each other and then they both looked up at the ring again. He stood up slowly and said, "Steve… don't do anything stupid."
Both Steve and the Soldier turned to look at him. Steve grinned at Sam then thrust a thumb in the Soldier's direction. "That's his line."
"I'm not kidding, Steve, don't even think about it."
"Oh come on, Sam," Steve replied. "Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Are you crazy?" he asked, moving toward them.
The door to the gym opened and Natasha walked in with Tony and Clint behind her. "Hey, guys," she greeted.
Sam looked at her and did a double take. "Would you please tell him he's crazy if he gets in the ring with that guy?" he pleaded for her to talk some sense into Steve.
"What?" she replied; abruptly halting.
"Oh, iCaptain America/i here wants to get into the ring with the Winter Soldier," Sam explained.
Natasha looked at Steve and he gave her a crooked grin and shrugged. She thought about that for a moment and glanced at the Soldier. He was just looking back at her casually. She didn't get a sense that he was angry or challenging, but she wasn't really sure that it was a good idea to spur on any aggressive actions where he was concerned.
"If you do this," she began, but was cut off.
"You're supporting this ludicrous idea?" Sam asked, completely surprised. He thought she'd have his back on this.
"That's a bad idea," Tony muttered from behind them. "I remember going toe to toe with that guy and… see this scar?" he said, turning to Clint, pointing at the bridge of his nose. Clint just smiled at him.
"He went easy on you if that's all you walked away with," Clint told him and Tony shrugged and nodded in agreement.
"Ground rules, boys," Natasha said with an air of authority and both Steve and the Soldier looked at her. She made sure she had their undivided attention and then continued. "No blows below the belt. No weapons or other objects are to be used." The Soldier looked down at his arm and Natasha tilted her head. "Don't go overboard," she told him. "This is ibnot/b/i a death match. Do you understand?" she asked the Soldier, stepping up close and getting her face as close to his as she could to make her point clear. He looked down at her. "This is bnot/b a fight to the death. You will not face punishment if you both walk out of that ring. Do you understand?" she asked and he nodded. "This is just an exercise, a little light sparring, do not hurt each other."
Just as she finished laying out the ground rules, the two doctors walked in and took seats next to Tony and Clint.
"Take off your shoes," she told them. The Soldier looked down at his bare feet and so did Natasha. "Never mind," she said and waited for Steve to toe off his boots.
He stuffed his socks inside before kicking his boots up next to the ring's frame so nobody would trip on them and then climbed onto the platform, ducking through the ropes and the Soldier followed him, climbing up from the other side.
"This is going to be interesting," Tony muttered, "… or a really bad idea."
Inside the ring, Steve and the Soldier stood on opposite sides and Steve smiled at him hoping to get one back. Nope.
Steve looked down at Natasha who was standing close by and decided it would be better if he took off the tight tee shirt he was wearing. All his shirts seemed to be two sizes too small for him even though the tags read 2xl and they had a tendency to feel binding. So Steve stripped off his tee shirt and tossed it outside the ring. The Soldier crossed his arms in front of him, grabbing the hem of his black tee and pulled it up over his head. He tossed it through the ropes toward Natasha and she was just able to catch it before getting it in the face. She tossed him a look of irritation and the Soldier almost smiled.
The sight of the two super soldiers squaring off in the ring caused a ripple of uncertainty to wash over their audience. Steve gave the Soldier a little shrug and the Soldier grinned at him. Steve was pleasantly surprised to receive a grin instead of a sneer and he moved closer to the center of the ring toward the Soldier.
When Rodzhers advanced on him the Soldier took his cue and moved forward. The two super soldiers reached for each other at the same time and Steve ended up having to block a punch and then blocked a roundhouse coming at him from the other side. He ducked and blocked and spun to escape the Soldier's onslaught. The Soldier spun around and brought his metal arm up to cover his head as he blocked a punch. As Steve's punch was knocked away he kicked out and the Soldier bent his knee to block the kick and immediately used the same leg to land a kick on the side of Steve's weight bearing leg, sending him down to that knee.
Steve blocked the metal arm from coming down on the top of his head and sprang up, grabbing the Soldier's arms and spun him around but the Soldier was surprisingly light on his feet. He completed the turn already coming for Steve again. He landed a right handed punch to the side of Steve's head and received a hard jab in the chin for his efforts. He barely paused as he recovered quickly; turning away from Rodzhers he raised his right leg and kicked out behind him, catching Steve in the solar plexus with his bare foot. Steve went back against the ropes as the wind was forced from his lungs.
Natasha and Sam watched closely; both ready to move in at a moment's notice if the Soldier decided to up the ante and go for Cap in a serious manner. Natasha was satisfied that the Soldier was allowing Steve to recover each time he landed a hard blow.
Steve shook off the strike and smiled at him as he returned to the center of the ring and the Soldier gave him a small grin. Steve brought his hands up in front of him the way Bucky had taught him many decades ago but the Soldier didn't posture; he didn't need to.
Steve struck out with a left jab and the Soldier simply shifted out of the way, but Rodzhers already had his follow up strike coming around and the Soldier brought up his metal arm to cover the left side of his head, blocking the hit. The two men punched and blocked the other in a rapid fire of successive blows, moving in circles as they followed each other. The sound of their hands and feet making contact made Sam cringe now and then but neither soldier slowed as they moved. They actually seemed to be gaining strength and power as they spun around each other.
Steve got himself into position just as the Soldier came in with another strike. As his fist nearly made contact with Steve's face, he averted the blow and grabbed onto the Soldier's outstretched arm. He spun around and used the Soldier's momentum to flip him over his shoulder. When the Soldier landed on the mat the entire structure shook. As soon as he was down, Steve let go of his arm and was surprised when the Soldier was back on his feet instantly. He charged at Steve who took the hit in the midsection as the Soldier's shoulder slammed into his abdomen. He brought his fists down onto the Soldier's back hoping to drive him to his knees but the next thing he knew he was being lifted off his feet and up-n-over the Soldier's head he went. He landed hard on his back and he looked up at the Soldier now looking down at him. The Soldier grinned again.
Steve rolled over to get his hands down and commented under his breath to Natasha who was close by, "This might have been a bad idea." She smiled at him and he smiled back. He got to his feet and brought his fists up in front of him again. The Soldier grinned and Steve told him as he rocked his shoulders, brandishing his fists, "I can do this all day."
The Soldier's grin suddenly disappeared and he stared hard at Rodzhers before looking away. He had to catch his breath a few times as if he was suddenly struck in the chest. Steve lowered his fists and watched him with concern. The Soldier walked to the other side of the ring as if he'd had his bell rung, wrapping his hand around the top rope to steady himself. One image hung frozen in front of his vision; a small blonde boy bloodied and standing with his fists up in front of him. He was in a back alley and he was facing off with a boy much larger than him. The Soldier blinked and a soft sound came from his throat as he drew air into his lungs. The image flashed and came back into focus to show that same blonde boy now a man, but no bigger physically than when he was a teen. The small blonde man repeated the same phrase as the boy, i"I can do this all day."/i and then a hand appeared in front of him reaching out to grab onto the aggressor's shoulder and hauled him backward. Then a voice - ihis own voice/i - saying "I'd swear you like getting punched." The Soldier looked back at Rodzhers and he knew that the boy and the small man in his vision were the man in the ring with him. iDid he know him before?/i
"Are you okay?" Steve asked him.
"What did you say to him?" Sam asked. It was quite clear that whatever Steve had said had a profound effect on him. Dr. Golden also noticed the change in the Soldier's behavior and she stood up, moving closer to the ring to try to determine what was happening.
"I just said 'I can do this all day'."
The Soldier blinked rapidly a few times, breathing heavily and gripping the rope with both hands, as another image of the same boy appeared but on a playground this time. At first those watching him thought he was just recovering from the physical exertion but Dr. Golden recognized his behavior as a fugue episode. He was clearly remembering something or trying to catch fleeting memory fragments that were eluding him.
"Captain?" she asked. "Is that a phrase you've used before?"
"I've been saying that my whole life," Steve told her. "I used to say it to bullies who were beating me up. They'd tell me to stay down, but I'd get back up and tell them 'I can do this all day'."
As he said it again the Soldier looked at him over his shoulder with an expression of pure confusion and near panic. Steve took a step toward him and noticed the Soldier was trembling. He looked away from Steve and focused his gaze on the far side of the room. Whatever was happening to him finally ceased and he swallowed thickly. He recovered his stance and turned to face Rodzhers again.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked and the Soldier nodded slowly. "Maybe that's enough for today," Steve said but the Soldier lifted his right hand and gestured for Steve to "bring it".
Steve shrugged lightly and signaled he was ready to go again when he got into a fighting stance. The Soldier focused on him with a dark gaze and moved toward him. He struck out with his right fist and then his left arm came around in a wide arc trying to land blows on Steve who blocked him repeatedly. He moved backward away from the Soldier's onslaught until he was up against the ropes and had no choice but to change to offensive maneuvers.
As he moved forward now, he struck out with fists and feet trying to land punches or kicks on the Soldier. The ones that did make contact didn't slow him down one bit as the Soldier blocked and punched and kicked in return. At one point he shifted out from his position between Rodzhers and the corner and came around him quickly. Steve followed suit and they literally looked like they were dancing. Their movements were fluid and almost graceful as they pummeled each other.
The two super soldiers went at it for a few minutes without a pause and when the Soldier came in close trying to get his arm around Steve's neck, Steve turned the tables on him. He pushed the metal arm up over his head as he ducked and sprang back up, spinning around to get the Soldier in a choke hold. The Soldier reached up to grab his forearm with both hands and tried to pry him off so Steve grabbed his wrist with his free hand and threw himself backward onto the floor of the ring, dragging the Soldier down with him. The Soldier struggled for air, his face turned a dark shade of red and then purple and Natasha slapped her hand on the mat to get Steve's attention. Steve's focus was pulled away and he realized his grip was too hard so he loosened up enough for the Soldier to take a breath.
He gasped loudly as Rodzhers allowed him to breathe and then he dug his heels into the mat. He pulled his lips back into a concentrated grimace and arched his back up high off of Steve and Steve's eyes widened as he felt his hold weaken. He tried to adjust and bring the Soldier's body back to the floor but before he had a chance to do that, the Soldier pushed off hard with his legs and did a back flip right over Steve's head and broke the hold he had on him. Steve immediately rolled away as the metal fist came down hard and nearly punched a hole through the thick mat. The sound of the frame creaking under the strain could be heard and Natasha yelled a warning. "Hey!"
The Soldier turned his head to look at her and blinked a few times as he pulled back his instinct to win at all costs. Natasha could see him actively pulling it back and knew he was in control. He stood up and looked at Rodzhers who was red in the face and trying to catch his breath. The Soldier hadn't even gotten started.
Steve brought both hands up and made the sign for "Time Out" and the Soldier relaxed his stance. "I'm done, buddy," he told the Soldier.
"Yeah, good idea," Sam quickly agreed, reaching for his ankle to urge him to climb down out of there. "You damned near gave me a heart attack."
"Hey," Steve replied, still catching his breath, "I had him on the ropes."
The Soldier gasped and froze in the center of the ring. His expression tensed as every muscle tightened. His face twisted into a grimace as if he'd tasted something awful and his eyes slowly rose to look at Rodzhers again. This had to be a memory, the Soldier realized. He'd known the blonde man before, he was sure of it. He could see this same man in his mind, but he was small and skinny in that same back alley.
Dr. Golden had kept her eyes on him the entire time and saw it when it happened. The change in his demeanor was quite apparent whenever Steve used particular phrases.
"Steve," she said to get his attention. When he looked to her she nodded in the direction of the Soldier. "It happened again. What did you say?"
Steve looked at the Soldier and could see the intense confusion on his face. The tight expression as if he was being barraged by thoughts or memories.
"Say it again," Dr. Golden urged him.
"I had him on the ropes," Steve repeated and the Soldier took a deep breath and then another. He looked at Steve with a pained expression. He could see him – this man – standing in front of him on a train and the sound of his voice saying those words.
"I can do this all day," Steve said again.
The Soldier's mouth opened as if he wanted to say something but he was clearly shaken to the core. Multiple images began to inundate him. All had two things in common; his own voice speaking and Rodzhers standing in front of him.
Steve took a careful step toward him and said softly, "I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."
The Soldier clenched his jaw and the breath caught in his lungs. He saw a clear image in his head; he was standing in front of a closed door, talking to Rodzhers. He could see his own reflection in the window behind the small blonde man. His hair was short and tidy and his face, clean shaven. He was wearing a suit and tie. i"Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own," Rodzhers told him and his own voice replied i "The thing is… you don't have to. I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."/i He turned to look at Rodzhers and he could see his face overlaying the face in these images. He did know him. Rodzhers was his friend. They'd been friends a long time ago. i "Thank you, Buck."/i His name was Buck. His name… no… My name biis/i/b iBuck. Bucky. Sgt. James Barnes of the 107th… Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes… Sgt. James 'Bucky' Barnes… that's me./i His chin began to quiver and his eyes filled with tears as he stared back. Steve could clearly see the pain and confusion, the fear and uncertainty in the Soldier's eyes, but it wasn't the Soldier standing there any longer… it was… could it be…?
"Bucky?" Steve asked, hanging all his hopes on the single word.
He watched as the man in front of him looked around the room at all the faces looking back at him. He was frozen in place and his body shuddered. His deep blue eyes found their way back to him and the Soldier's mouth opened and he tried to speak but it came out as only a whisper.
"Steve?"
"Oh my God… Bucky. Yes, it's me. It's Steve," he said quickly before he lost him again.
Barnes shook his head and a tear fell from his eyes. "Can't be," he said, his voice breaking with emotion, "Steve's dead."
"No, buddy, I'm not dead. I'm right here," Steve tried to assure him.
More images bombarded his vision: his cell, the doctors, the handlers, his tormenters… they had brought him a variety of newspapers from around the world, he remembered. The headlines, printed in a multitude of languages, all said the same thing: iCaptain America Dead! Captain America Killed in Action! Captain America Sacrifices Self to Save the World/i He hadn't wanted to believe it… because if Steve was dead, he knew nobody would be out there looking for him. Steve had died, Hydra made certain he knew that Captain America was not going to come for him. He was not going to rescue him. His fate had been sealed with the death of Steve Rogers. The whole world had thought him dead too, he realized. But – if Steve is alive, why hadn't he come for him? Why had he left him in the hands of Hydra?
Memories and thoughts began to overwhelm him and he couldn't think. It was all too much at once. He began to shake so badly his knees buckled and Steve moved forward to catch him. He wrapped his arms around Barnes and held on tight as they both dropped to their knees. The Soldier's grip on Barnes seemed to have shattered and he looked at Steve up close in disbelief. His trembling hands came up to touch Steve's face. Barnes stared at him as if seeing a ghost. Steve thought Bucky was going to shake apart in his arms so he tightened his grasp. "I got you, buddy," Steve told him, pressing a warm palm to Bucky's cheek. He swept the hair out of his face so he could look at him then pulled him into his embrace. "Oh my God," Steve said, tears rolled down his cheeks as he looked over Barnes' shoulder at Dr. Golden. She was smiling back at him through her own tears.
The rest of the team had moved to ring side as they realized Barnes had broken through the Soldier's walls, finally fully emerging. They could see he was completely dazed and unsure of what was going on.
It was all too much to take in at once and he began to cry. He dropped his hands from Steve's face and began to sob. He curled up against Rogers and Steve wrapped his arms more tightly around him. Steve couldn't hold back his own tears as he listened to Bucky's wracking sobs. Weeks of worry and stress were suddenly eased and he lost himself in the moment. He embraced Bucky as if he'd never let go again, shifting slightly as Barnes wrapped his arms around Steve. Bucky's fingers clutched at him, his nails nearly clawing through his flesh but Steve didn't care.
With his face pressed against Steve's chest he inhaled the scent of him and it was so familiar even so many decades later. This was a detail Hydra could never have simulated and he realized it was real. Steve was real and he was really here.
"It's okay," Steve whispered and rocked his friend, trying to comfort him. "It's okay, buddy. Oh my god," he said, choking on a sob, "it's okay. I've got you. I've got you. You're safe now. You're safe."