Avengers: Search for the Winter Soldier
Chapter 47
Title: MRI
Summary: After dinner Sgt. Barnes is prepped for an MRI scan; and a shocking detail is revealed.
Note: This chapter is dedicated to Squigglyhopper for your wonderful comments and feedback. It's appreciated. – W6C
Natasha held the bowl so Steve could eat his soup while Bucky slept against him; his left arm still wrapped around his friend but his right arm was free to feed himself. Sam and Bruce were also present and finishing their meals. They spoke softly as they ate, keeping conversation quiet, not wanting to disturb Barnes. Wilson sat on the opposite side of the bed from Nat where he was able to keep an eye on Bucky from his vantage point.
Sam finished his meal and stood up, handing his bowl to Natasha. She placed it on the tray table beside hers and handed him a fresh bottle of water.
"Thanks," he said with a smile and twisted the cap. He took a swallow and sat down again. When he glanced at Barnes he did a double-take as he noticed Bucky's eyes were open, staring unfocused at his legs. His head was dropped forward with Steve's arm holding him upright; his hand pressing lightly against his chest.
"Buck?" Sam said trying to get his attention to gauge if he was even truly awake. Hearing him, Steve and Natasha paused in their conversation and looked at Sam.
"Is he awake?" Steve asked as he couldn't see Bucky's face.
"I can't tell," Sam told him. "His eyes are open but he's just staring unfocused like before. He's not blinking at all and his face is slack - oh crap. Doc?"
Banner had looked up when Sam mentioned Bucky's eyes were open but unfocused. As Sam went into the bathroom to grab a towel, Bruce put his bowl down and seeing why Sam alerted him he went into action.
"What?" Steve asked, suddenly concerned as both Bruce and Sam were moving. Then he felt something wet roll down his arm. "What's going on?"
"It's just drool," Banner told him as he reached for the suction unit. "No swallow reflex again."
Natasha took the spoon from Steve's hand so he could focus on his friend. He shifted his hand up under Bucky's chin and lifted his face so Bruce could see what he needed.
Dr. Banner laid the hard plastic suction tip against Bucky's cheek to get a measurement from his lips to the back of his tongue, so he wouldn't end up pushing the tapered tip too far in and down his throat. He placed his finger at the measured spot and inserted it into his patient's mouth. He covered the hole on the side of the instrument with his thumb to create the suction needed and carefully moved it in a circular motion in Bucky's mouth as he slowly pulled it out. Then he stuck the point of it behind his lip and then behind his teeth where saliva would pool naturally.
Sam returned with a wet washcloth and a towel. He wiped the drool from Bucky's chin and then from Steve's arm. Steve raised his hand and elbow to give Sam better access so he could get it all.
Bucky's whole body jerked suddenly and his head dropped forward again before Steve could replace his hand under his chin. Sam noticed a small drop of saliva rolling off his bottom lip so he folded the washcloth and placed it against Bucky's mouth to catch the last of it.
Bucky felt the wet cloth pressed against his mouth and his brain flashed an image of people standing around him pressing a wet cloth to his face. They would pour water onto it, forcing his mouth to remain open under the towel pulled taut across his face. As he'd struggle to breathe he'd inhale lungs full of water. He'd choke and cough and struggle to get free. The sensation of drowning; unable to take in air as his lungs filled with water, was terrifying and they'd push it until his lungs were overflowing then they'd step away and allow him to choke up the water and clear his lungs… before they'd begin again.
He could hear himself shouting but it sounded so far away; a desperate sound full of terror and rage. He couldn't fight back; they wouldn't let him as much as he wanted to. He was at their mercy… and they had none to give.
Steve's arm came around him to try to hold him steady but his misfiring brain showed him many hands restraining him. He felt the constraint of leather straps that didn't exist as they strapped him down, forcing his mouth open as they directed a continuous flow of water at his face.
He was certain that he was back at Hydra and they were punishing him for not returning on schedule. His metal arm came up between him and Sam and he tried to push him away. He had no control over his body though and it waved wildly between them. Sam stepped back, pulling away the cloth as he realized Barnes was panicking.
"Easy! Easy, Buck. You're okay," he tried his best to reassure him as he grabbed onto the flailing arm.
"Nuhhhh!" Bucky forced out, trying to yell no. His body began to convulse and Steve wrapped both arms around him, hoping he'd relax in his embrace, but the action only panicked Barnes more. "Nuhhhhhhhh!" he yelled and then screamed in terror. His legs straightened and his feet pushed against the foot of the bed; his body went rigid and his shoulders pressed Rogers into the raised head of the bed, pinning him to the mattress.
"What's happening?" Natasha asked; her tone full of concern.
"A memory… or a flashback, maybe?" Sam guessed.
"Definitely a flashback," Bruce told them.
Barnes let out a blood-curdling scream that sent a shockwave through them. Natasha cringed and covered her ears, standing up so fast her chair tipped backward and crashed to the floor.
Steve wrapped his arms around his friend, trying to keep his flailing arms pinned so he wouldn't injure himself or someone else. "Easy, Buck. It's okay. You're safe!" Steve said trying to be heard over the screams. He tried to soothe Bucky's panic, but his muscles tensed and he suddenly froze with his body stretched out to his full six feet. Steve held his breath and then Bucky's movements intensified and he thrashed hard against Steve's chest.
"He's seizing!" Banner told them. "Don't restrain him! Just keep him from falling off the bed!"
Steve was confused and didn't know how to hold onto his friend to keep him safe without restraining his movements. Sam stared at Barnes, his eyes had rolled back into his head but remained wide open, his jaw clenched tight and the muscles in his neck corded. Sam was certain that entire episode had to be extremely painful. Barnes remained that way for about a full minute; his shoulder dug painfully into Steve's sternum and he was sure that was going to leave a mark, but he knew the pain he felt was nothing compared to what Bucky was going through. Steve tried to adjust his position in order to help Barnes but he couldn't move against the power of Bucky's strength pinning him in place.
The entire situation looked horrendous to those standing nearby and Steve was helpless against the strength of the seizure. As suddenly as it began, the seizure released him and Bucky's entire body suddenly went limp against him. Steve quickly sat up, pulling Barnes against him to hold him close as he repositioned for a better hold. As Steve got settled Bucky pulled away from him, and his abdominals tightened forcefully and without warning he vomited.
Steve heard him retching and adjusted his position, releasing his hold on Barnes he reached over his shoulders to pull his long hair back away from his face. Sam saw that Steve needed an extra pair of hands so he reached over Bucky's shoulder to hold the gathered hair in a pony tail. Steve let him take over that part and pressed his forearms against Bucky's back, helping him to remain in a forward position as his strength began to wane. He didn't want Bucky to fall backward in a weakened state and end up aspirating any of the substance. It was clear to all of them that his system hadn't absorbed any of the liquids he'd taken in earlier.
Bucky continued to vomit until his stomach was finally empty. He heaved violently even after there was nothing left for his system to eject. Steve pressed his hand against Bucky's forehead to help him hold his head up so he could breathe as he gasped for air. He was shocked to feel the rising heat of his skin in just a matter of seconds.
"Bruce, he's really hot," Steve told him.
Banner reached over to press the back of his hand against Barnes' cheek and then pressed the palm of his hand to Bucky's chest just below his collarbone. His temperature was elevated and his skin was hot and dry, but not enough to require a cooling shower. He did need fluids though to replenish what he'd lost in order for his system to cool itself down.
"I'm starting a line," he told them and set up the IV unit again. As he worked he noticed the seizures had stopped completely and Barnes was now gasping for air. He moved quickly to his bag on the desk.
Sam let go of his hair as Steve pulled Bucky backward to rest against his chest again and watched Banner pull out the opaque case from his bag. He returned with a syringe and an alcohol pad. He quickly swabbed Bucky's shoulder and injected the sedative. Now that his stomach was empty Banner didn't have to worry about him vomiting under sedation for the MRI procedure. It was time to get that done while he was under.
Sam had gone into the bathroom and returned with a fresh wash cloth to clean Bucky's mouth before stripping the soiled sheets away from the bed and dumping them into the nearby laundry bin.
"Natasha, can you bring up a stretcher from the treatment room down the hall?" Banner asked.
"Of course," Natasha replied and left the room.
"How's he doing?" Bruce asked as he finished administering the sedative and pushed the syringe into a isharps container/i on the wall.
"He's still hot," Steve realized. "What did you give him?"
"Just a sedative so I can start an IV line," Bruce explained.
"Oh, I thought it was something for his fever," Steve told him.
"No. His brain is so messed up right now," Bruce told him, "we can only help him ride it out. Everything that just happened is the result of a massive misfiring of the neurons in his brain. His digestive system isn't absorbing fluids so I need to give them intravenously to help him stay hydrated and hopefully keep his body temperature down."
As Natasha wrestled the long stretcher through the doorway of the treatment room by herself, she saw the elevator door open a few yards away and Dr. Golden appeared.
"Emily!" Natasha called out to her. "A little help here, please."
Dr. Golden looked at her momentarily confused before going to assist her. "What's going on?" she asked as she took control of the back as Natasha pulled from the front.
"Barnes woke up, seizing and vomiting," Natasha told her. "Bruce gave him a sedative so we're moving him to the MRI."
Emily nodded now that she was caught up on the goings on.
When the women entered the room with the stretcher, Steve looked up. He could hear Bucky's increasingly labored breathing. With each intake of air, his chest rose with great effort and his inhalations were loud as if his throat was closing up and he had to focus to open his airway to let the air in. Steve was so scared he could barely keep his emotions in check.
"We can't lay him down like this," Steve told Banner, as if pleading with him not to.
"It'll be okay, Steve," Bruce told him. "Once he's out, his muscles should relax enough for him to breathe more normally… and if it doesn't, he'll be in position for me to drop an airway to help him breathe easier."
Steve wasn't able to keep up with what Banner had just said but he nodded. He trusted the team with his own life; he could trust them with Bucky's. He continued to hold Bucky securely as they waited for the sedative to take effect. Sam stood close to the bed, watching with concern as Barnes struggled for air with every breath. His muscles had stopped twitching but he was still clearly conscious, his eyes staring straight ahead, unblinking and unable to focus.
"How long does it take for the sedative to work?" he asked.
Banner looked at Barnes to assess his condition. His mouth gaped open as he fought for air and Bruce immediately thought of a fish out of water. His patient was in real trouble and he wouldn't be able to compensate much longer. He pulled out another syringe to inject Barnes and that second dose of tranquilizer was precisely what was needed as Barnes went limp in Steve's arms. His respirations were still labored but it didn't appear to be such a struggle for him as the tranquilizing effect on his muscles forced them to relax.
Bruce grabbed a stethoscope and cuff to get a read on Bucky's vitals before moving him any further. As he expected, given what he'd just gone through, Bucky's blood pressure and heart rate were both elevated slightly, but not to a dangerous level. Banner made the decision to continue with the MRI and motioned for Sam and Steve.
"Get him on the stretcher," Bruce told them. "Let's move."
Sam pulled Bucky forward so Steve could get on his feet. As soon as Steve stood up he turned and scooped Bucky up in his arms and placed him gently on the stretcher. Emily unfolded a blanket and draped it over him as Bruce checked his airway. Everyone became still allowing Banner a quiet moment to assess his patient.
He pulled Bucky's head back, stretching his neck and tilting his head so his chin was nearly pointing at the ceiling. "Emily, can you get the blue box from my bag, please?"
Dr. Golden nodded and went to his black bag. She found the blue box and returned with it. She opened it, holding it so Bruce could see the contents. He scanned the soft plastic adjuncts and chose one. He measured the length against Bucky's cheek the same way he'd measured the suction wand. He flipped the curved tool so it was pointing toward the roof of Bucky's mouth and as he inserted the airway adjunct he gave it a twist and it seated itself perfectly in Bucky's mouth. The top of the adjunct rested against his lips as the body of it pressed his tongue away from the back of his throat; forcing his airway to remain open. If the muscles of his throat constricted again, they would squeeze around the plastic tube and Barnes would still be able to breathe through the tube.
"Okay, he's ready. Let's go," Bruce told them. He grabbed the side of the stretcher and began to guide it toward the door.
Sam put his hand on the foot of the stretcher. "I'll take it," he told Bruce.
"Thanks," Banner nodded and allowed Wilson to steer the stretcher out of the room.
Dr. Golden led the way to the MRI suite, Natasha by her side, with Sam following them. Steve guided the head of the stretcher, watching Bucky closely as they transported him down the hall. Bruce was now free to walk alongside the stretcher, keeping an eye on his patient to ensure he continued to breathe on his own.
When they reached the MRI suite, Emily opened the door and stepped aside so they could enter with the stretcher. Bruce had earlier draped a lead apron on the table on which to lay Barnes, so it was in position when they were ready to scan and that would shield the back of his arm. Bruce wanted a new set of vitals before moving Barnes to be certain he was okay to go through with the procedure. He found both his heart rate and blood pressure had returned to normal levels so he felt comfortable proceeding. Sam and Steve transferred Barnes to the MRI table that would slide him head first into the large circular machine.
Once Steve and Sam got Barnes positioned properly on the table, Dr. Banner secured heavy leather straps around the upper and lower part of his metal arm before draping another lead apron over the full length of the bionic appendage and across Barnes' torso. Perhaps the weight of the apron would lend a sense of comfort to Barnes if he happened to regain some awareness during the procedure, Bruce thought fleetingly.
Steve watched Banner as he secured the arm to the table and covered Bucky with the apron before double checking the airway adjunct. He needed to be sure it was still seated properly as he wouldn't be able to adjust it during the imaging session without having to start the session over again. Once Bruce was certain it remained seated properly, he placed a foam block on either side of Bucky's head to ensure it remained immobile during the scan.
As the room air was quite cool, Steve covered him with a blanket, tucking it under his arms and legs while Natasha and Sam removed the stretcher from the room and left in the hallway outside the door. Then, the others gathered in the control room on the other side of the wall, but Steve remained at Bucky's side and Bruce paused to watch him for a moment.
"Steve, you can't stay in here," Bruce told him gently and Steve looked over at him.
"Did you have to strap him down?" Steve asked, visibly upset about that action.
Bruce nodded. "I did, actually. The magnets used in this machine are extremely powerful… they could very well pull his arm up off the table and into the machine and… possibly even rip it off his body."
Steve hadn't realized the magnets inside an MRI scanning machine were quite that strong. He took a deep breath and nodded before asking in a worried tone. "He'll be okay in here alone?"
"Yes, he'll be fine," Bruce told him. "If something does happen, we're only feet away…"
"Okay," Steve nodded.
"Dr. Golden and I are ready to begin the scan now. You'll be able to see him through the observation window," Bruce assured him. Steve nodded still staring at Bucky's face. "Steve -."
"Yeah, okay," Steve answered and turned away from Barnes. Bruce followed him and closed the door behind him.
During the hours-long process, Dr. Banner and Dr. Golden spent much of their time pointing at the screens that revealed the images being taken. Sam, Nat and Steve sat silently on a counter along the back wall just behind the two doctors. Steve spent most of his time staring at Bucky through the three inch thick plexiglass window that allowed them a visual of the MRI suite and the patient being scanned.
Bruce had initially stated he believed the procedure would only take an hour, maybe an hour and a half, but three hours later found them all still there. A few times during the session, Sam or Natasha would leave the small room and return with drinks and snacks for everyone.
During one of Natasha's forays to bring back refreshments, she was walking alone through the silent halls heading toward the kitchen and her thoughts turned to James and how much she missed him. Her sadness only intensified when she realized how little she could do to help him through this ordeal. As she stepped off the elevator she thought about all that had happened to him just hours ago and, immediately following that thought, she realized there was something she could do for him.
Turning on her heel, she reversed direction, got back in the elevator and pushed the down button, heading to his room. Once there, she swiftly wiped down the bed rail and mopped the floor to wash away the evidence of his violent upheaval. She put away the mop and returned with crisp, clean sheets and made up his bed, adding a soft blanket for him to curl up in. She smiled softly with that thought and when he did curl up in that warm blanket, it would be as if he was curled up in her arms. Natasha smiled fleetingly as her hands smoothed the blanket and tucked in the corners near the foot of the bed. She then removed the hamper containing the dirty linens and replaced it with a clean one. She lightly sprayed air freshener to remove the stale odor of sickness and that action alone did so much to make the room feel clean again. She took a deep breath, giving the room a final glance then nodded and resumed her trek back to the kitchen. No one thought to ask her what had taken her so long; mainly because they were all so focused on the procedure happening in front of them and for that she was quietly thankful.
Both Banner and Golden seemed to find Bucky's brain activity quite interesting and spent a lot of their time talking quietly and pointing at specific spots on the screen in front of them. The others didn't understand most of what they were saying, but there were a number of times when Bruce or Emily showed excitement over what they were seeing. Other times they became quiet, exchanging serious glances because they didn't want to alert the others in the room. However, the three Avengers didn't miss a thing going on between the two doctors. At one point, Steve's heart sank as he read their exchange as being not good news, he dropped his head, rubbing his forehead and Natasha leaned against him, resting a hand on his arm in support. She knew he loved Bucky as much as she loved James and she drew strength from that knowledge and tried to lend a little of that strength to Steve.
It was amazing what that machine could do with imaging the inside of the human body. Steve watched the monitor closely as Dr. Banner requested images that basically sliced Bucky's brain down to microscopic levels. At one point both doctors sat up straight and Bruce pointed at something on the monitor.
"What is that?" he asked. The concern in Banner's voice sent a jolt of alarm through Steve. He leaned to the left to try to see between Banner and Golden. "That's… artificial," Bruce determined and focused on guiding the machine's magnetic field and radio-waves toward the area with the anomaly. "Oh my God," he stated quietly. "Is that -?"
Bruce was completely focused on the images he was seeing and steering the machine toward a specific area. It looked to Steve as if the doctors were now focused on the back of Bucky's head, but he couldn't be sure.
"Those are wires," Bruce told Dr. Golden. "It looks like… they're imbedded in his spinal column… these here," he told her, pointing at the image, "- those appear to be attached to his brain stem. They become more numerous as they go down his cervical spinal cord, but I can only image to C7 as the aprons are interfering with the imaging."
Emily glanced at him and rested her hand gently on his forearm. Bruce looked at her and read her expression as i 'I'll tell you later',/i clearly not wanting to discuss it at that moment.
"What's going on, Doctors?" Steve asked from behind them causing Bruce to startle.
He'd forgotten there were others in the room with them, having been so focused on the images. He and Golden exchanged looks and Bruce took off his glasses as he turned in his chair. He looked at the three friends sitting behind him and took a deep breath as he tried to figure out how to explain what he thought he was seeing.
"Because the lead aprons are interfering with our ability to get images below his cervical spinal cord, it's difficult to be sure but it appears… actually we may be able to use another method later on to determine if what we're seeing is what we think we're seeing…" Bruce looked to Emily. "It's really the only thing that makes sense though," he said and she nodded in agreement.
"Bruce!" Steve said sternly, getting Banner's attention and making him focus on the question at hand. He had a bad habit of letting his thoughts wander away from actually answering their questions, just as he was doing now.
"Sorry," Banner apologized. He looked at Emily and she finally nodded slowly, giving him permission to reveal what he'd seen. Bruce turned his attention to Steve. "It appears that his bionic arm isn't just a prosthesis. It looks to be wired into his central nervous system," he explained and paused to let that sink in. Nobody said anything so he wasn't sure if they understood what that meant. "He controls the arm's functions through his central nervous system. It behaves like a natural arm, right down to the fine motor skills, because it's taking its commands directly from his brain. It's no different than what his actual right arm would do." The three friends said nothing for a moment as they thought about what that meant. Bruce watched them, waiting and when no one reacted to that information he added, "I'm astounded that they had the ability to do this kind of delicate spinal surgery… attaching cybernetics directly into his central nervous system… I can't even do that," he told them.
"He did tell us that he feels sensation with it," Natasha recalled that information was given to them right after they'd brought the Winter Soldier back to the compound. "He knew I was touching the arm even when he wasn't looking in my direction."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he can feel a touch in the same manner as his natural arm. It may simply sense the pressure of a touch or heat and cold via sensors in the arm itself. He may know when the arm is damaged or needs repair, but that doesn't mean he feels pain when it's damaged, he simply senses that damage was done."
Steve sighed, scrubbing his hands over his eyes and down his face, trying to process this latest development. Natasha rubbed her hand against his back and he gave her a small smile before turning his attention back to Banner.
"So, now what?" he asked.
Bruce shrugged and shook his head as he began the system shut down sequence. The first command activated the table to bring Bucky out of the machine. "This is all we can do tonight and for now, we've got all the images we need. We'll take a few days to go over everything we have and hopefully it can shine some light on what we're dealing with. We'll let him sleep off the sedative tonight and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him… for all of us." Steve looked at him with an expression that clearly told Banner he wasn't feeling very hopeful at the moment.
"He needs time to heal," Bruce told him, trying to offer a little hope to Cap then added, "and it hasn't been that long, Steve."
"It feels like a year already," Steve told him.
"I know, but it's only been a few weeks," Bruce reminded him. He stood up, stretched, yawned and gestured toward the door and said to Sam, "We can bring him back to his room now. He should sleep through the night and I think we all need a good night's sleep too."
Sam nodded and slid off the counter, going out to the hall to collect the stretcher as the others moved into the suite through the connecting door. Natasha went to the suite door to assist Wilson with the stretcher as Bruce removed the apron and straps. He handed the weighted apron to Emily and she placed it back where it belonged.
When Bruce removed the head blocks, Bucky's head fell slightly to the side; just enough for his sedated brain to register the object in his mouth. The airway adjunct triggered his gag reflex and Steve took a deep breath. Bruce simply reached out and removed it as Bucky's tongue pushed the offending object out of his mouth. As quickly as Steve thought they were going to have another issue, Bruce's experience and expertise remedied the issue with ease and Steve let out the breath he'd not realized he'd been holding. Then he waited as Banner watched Barnes closely for a few seconds. He determined he was breathing on his own now without an issue so he'd be fine without the adjunct. Bruce set the plastic tube on the blanket covering Barnes and, with assistance from Steve and Sam, transferred Bucky from the table back onto the stretcher.
When they got back to the infirmary and Barnes was resting in his bed, Steve realized the floor had been cleaned and the bed made. He turned to Natasha with a smile. "Did you do this?" he asked.
Natasha smiled and nodded then shrugged. "I had some free time," she told him, doing her best to hide the heart she wore on her sleeve.
Steve could tell that she'd done it for reasons other than that, but he wasn't one to call her out in front of others especially on personal matters. She had history with the Soldier and he understood only too well, the pull of such a connection.
"Thanks," he said to her and Nat shrugged and gave a nod. Then he turned to Dr. Golden. "I'd like to get back to the files now," he told her. Emily looked at him with a slightly surprised expression. Somehow, she'd thought they'd gotten beyond that part. She had hoped that Captain Rogers had read enough and was done with it. "Can you bring them to me here?" he asked, but Emily got the impression that he wasn't really asking.
"Of course," she replied, reluctantly. "I'll bring them by after breakfast -."
"No, Doctor… now," he told her.
"Now?" she echoed, "Wouldn't you rather -."
"Now, Doctor," he repeated. "Please."
Emily looked to Natasha who simply gave her a sad smile that clearly said don't bother arguing with him. She nodded and looked up at Rogers. "Of course," she told him. "I'll be back in a little while."
"Thank you."
As Emily walked slowly to her office, a frown appeared as she thought of Steve's reaction to the files he'd already read, knowing the details only got worse the deeper they went. He'd been quite upset then and she was concerned about his ability to handle the information contained in the remaining files. Even she, as a doctor, had been upset and shaken after having read them all.
Dr. Golden was nothing if not realistic and thought it best to withhold that one file from him, for now; Captain Rogers didn't really need to know what it contained. If it was discovered to be 'missing' she could always claim it had gotten shuffled back into the files he'd already seen… by mistake, of course. She nodded to herself, deciding that would be the best course of action for, if nothing else, Steve's emotional well-being, and continued to her office. She would run the whole thing by Dr. Banner later.
Steve took a seat in his chair to wait for Dr. Golden to return. He thought about what Dr. Banner had seen in the image on the screen. He leaned forward and folded his arms on the edge of the bed to rest his head on them.
Natasha watched him closely and realized a moment later that he was sound asleep. She turned to look for a chair and Sam swung his arm out, gesturing for her to take the seat on the other side of the bed that he'd used earlier. She smiled at him and stepped past him.
"I'm going to leave you guys to it," he told her. "I have a few things to do, so I'll check in later."
"Thanks, Sam," she replied.
He smiled then pointed at her. "If you guys need anything, you call me. Got it?" he told her, trying to sound stern.
Natasha smirked at him and nodded, "Got it."
"Okay," he said, and turned toward the door. "I'll see you later," he said and stepped out, closing the door softly behind him.
In the hallway, Sam slumped against the wall and let out a long sigh as he rubbed his throbbing temples. He hated to see Steve so wrung out by the events of the day, but there was little he could do for him except be available if needed and support him to the best of his ability. Between the tension of the entire situation and the lack of food and coffee, Sam was on the verge of a massive stress headache coupled with caffeine withdrawal. He dropped his hands and leaned his head back against the wall for a moment to get his bearings. He needed coffee, food and sleep, in that order. It had been a long day, full of small victories and big upsets, and he needed to keep himself ready and able should he again be called on to help. He pushed away from the wall and headed to the kitchen for something more substantial than a snack.
After Sam had left the room, Natasha stood at the foot of the bed and took advantage of the quiet moment to closely study both Steve and Bucky as they slept. There were dark shadows under Steve's eyes and Barnes still looked haggard and exhausted; they both did, actually. Not surprising, she thought, given the events of the past few days.
Her thoughts then jumped between her desire to see 'her' James again; to be able to speak to him and to hear his voice speaking to her, and Steve's unending devotion to his lifelong friend and the effect Steve's presence had on Barnes. She smiled softly, wondering if her presence had ever soothed James in the same way.
Sighing, she sat down and closed her eyes to wait for Emily's return. There was still a very long way to go and perhaps Barnes could eventually recognize her as his mind continued healing. If and when his memories returned, perhaps she would be a part of them. She could hope; it was all she could do. Comforting herself with the idea that could happen, she too drifted to sleep.
A short while later, Emily returned to the room with the file folder and found the door closed. She paused before opening it slowly and chose not to enter when she saw both Steve and Natasha were sound asleep. She knew it was more imperative that they were allowed to rest whenever they were able. She couldn't help but feel that the fates had favored her this evening and allowed her to not go through with this action tonight. She closed the door carefully and carried the files back to her office. She would deal with Captain Rogers' ire in the morning.
TBC'd