Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Certified D.O.G.

Dashing Overindulging Gummy-Bear (I)

(Pride, Morningstar Castle)

"Where are we going, Char-Char?" Lucifer asked with a grin as he followed after his now five year old daughter, an experimental H-Lens mark one in his hand to capture every moment of her steps as she wandered down the halls of the east wing. Sure, it wasn't ready for Hell-wide use yet, but he had a good feeling about the H-Lens. It was going to be one of the things he'd be remembered for, right up there with Free Will and the patented Devil's Threesome! Well, as soon as he can sneak back up top and slip the designs into one of his 'followers'. Or one of Satan's; poor guy's been having a rough time since the last trial was held.

It was his own fault, the idiot shouldn't have made that bet against Mammon about a member of Ars Goetia's contract with a Sinner concerning payment for work.

"Going on a venture today, Daddy!" The little pseudo-nephilim giggled. He was pretty sure she wasn't one, considering he was already a fallen and Lilith had already become the base form of succubi well before their darling little girl was brought into the world.

"Oh, really? And what are we doing?" Lucifer grinned.

"We..." Charlie turned in a pirouette and pointed a cute stubby little finger at the camera before she beamed. "Are gonna go find our missing Puppy!"

Ah, fuck. Lucifer's smile strained as his grip on the H-Lens briefly tightened before it relaxed.

Upside to his best-friend-slash-bodyguard being away from the family and house? The amount of people that nagged at him dropped by a whopping two-hundred percent. Now some uneducated dumbass might be expecting him to accuse Lilith of nagging him, but that would be the last thing Lucifer would ever do. After all, he liked having sex with his wife and other women or female presenting demons regularly, thank you very fucking much! No, it was mostly the annoying, fuzzy-assed bastard that had more power in his pinky toe than most Goetia Demons did in their entire bodies that nagged at the King of Hell.

Usually it was for boring 'regal' stuff or to remind him of family events, which was the only fucking reason Lucifer let that shit slide. He'd almost missed his anniversary night twice without that reminder, and it was on an anniversary night that Lucifer was pretty sure Lilith conceived their Princess.

Downside to his best-friend-slash-bodyguard being out of the house and away from the family? Charlie didn't take to it well. His darling, little miracle of a child threw a massive fit when her 'Puppy' said goodbye and Lucifer had to call him right back for another night, where he slept – fucking platonically, on threat of castration from Lucifer, of course – with the Princess in a makeshift 'slumber party'.

Yes, it was done mostly to stop her sobbing, but there were the series of Hellquakes that the impressively loud sobs of his then three-year-old daughter created that both Lucifer and Lilith agreed were too detrimental to allow to happen. The 'Puppy' snuck out on the following night and left one of his doppelgangers to fill the void. It worked for a while until – as was believed inevitable by the clone, and hence its maker – it was found out when Charlie tried to coerce the Hound of Hell's clone to go faster in a game of horsey a few months in. A harsh jab of his daughter's heel to the left side made the clone go up in smoke, and another fit almost happened had Lilith not walked in, sleep deprived and short tempered, and put their girl in her place.

Lucifer was so glad he didn't have to be the bad guy that day. Charlie was inconsolable for a week until he started bringing her down to his workshop to design toys and other things their underlings across the Rings might enjoy.

Alas, that two-year streak of resigned complacency from the Princess of Hell had to end sooner or later, but Lucifer had really wanted it to be later. Like, five or six more years down the line. Was that too fucking much to ask for? No, Lucifer didn't think so either.

"Oh?" He managed and thought about it for a second. "But sweetie, Puppy is on his own adventure, remember? One he's going to tell you all about once he gets back."

"B-But I want him back now!" Charlie pouted and stomped her foot. "He's been gone forever! And he missed my birthday! Again!"

"Charlie, you and I both know that's not true." Lucifer sighed. He lowered the H-Lens and paused the recording before he knelt down and smiled at his little girl. "He sent a clone both times, didn't he?"

"It's not the same! That's not our Puppy!" Charlie's lip warbled and Lucifer felt his smile strain.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why did this always happen on his watch when Lilith wasn't around?! Shit, why wasn't she ever – Oh, right. Ruling Hell and signing paperwork and shit so he could stay home and watch their daughter. As he agreed to after being forced to send Naruto on his Fey-Kay-Shun thing. Ugh!

"Sweetheart–" He started only for Charlie to stomp her foot.

"I want our Puppy! I want him now!" Charlie sniffled and pouted at him. "Can't you bring him back, Daddy?! I want him back! And Uncle Mam says that because I'm a princess I should get what I want whenever I want!"

I am never paying Mammon to watch her ever again. Best babysitter in all of fucking Hell my perky white ass! Lucifer thought as his eyebrow twitched. He took a deep breath in through his nose as he held his frustrated daughter's gaze.

"Yes he did say that, but 'Uncle Mam' is also a total idiot," Lucifer said, his logic infallible as always. He grinned at his daughter. "Remember what Mommy said about the Sin of Greed?"

"...It can see the forest, but not the trees..." Charlie huffed as her arms crossed. Her bottom lip warbled. "How come Puppy went away, Daddy? Doesn't he love us?"

"Well, of course Puppy loves us." Lucifer smiled and set the H-Lens down to pull his daughter into a hug. He had to twist this so that he isn't the bad guy, but how? ...Aha! He should cast blame on the one at fault, obviously! Sorry, Naruto, but...this is for the greatest good in all of Hell; his daughter's affection. He'd understand, surely; he was the only demon Lucifer trusted to act as his Left Hand Enforcer. "He just...needed to go away for a little while, that's all."

"But why?"

"Well, Puppy works very hard keeping us all safe from any threats. And...He has to go away to do that sometimes." Lucifer ad-libbed with a grin. Okay, so he was maybe hyping his Left Hand up a bit. He couldn't help it, he knew how much his little girl loved the Hound of Hell and he wasn't going to totally bash his friend. Maybe if a hot, single bitch or Lilith was nearby, but not to Charlie. He poked his little girl on the nose and smiled. "He's going to all this trouble just for you, Char-Char."

"...Really?" Charlie asked, an awestruck smile on her face.

"Really, really." Lucifer smirked. Naruto owed him big time for this hype job. He set his little girl down and stood up to rest his hands on his knees as he smiled at her. "So, instead of trying to impede him on his adventures–"

"What's impede mean?" Charlie frowned.

"Interrupt."

"Ohh..."

"Yeah!" Lucifer grinned. "So, what kind of adventure do you want to have instead? Something fun? Near water? Maybe with a rubber du–"

"I wanna be a Pirate!" Charlie cheered with her fists in the air.

"...Of fucking course you do," Lucifer said, a tight smile on his face. So much for getting her into that tricked out duck costume he's been working on...

(Pride, Morningstar Castle)

Stella sneered at Stolas' hired protective detail – that nasty little Imp that had boldly and bluntly admitted to assisting her limp-dicked husband in committing adultery, along with two other little mongrels that came along as the Imp's 'employees'; it was a laughable crock, an Imp with his own fucking business – that bickered with the Palace Guard about Bodyguard placement. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Stolas better be fucking paying for this out of his own pocket and not the fucking family coffers.

"Tavia? I gotta use the, um, the toiletries?" Maureen – who looked absolutely adorable in her little yellow sundress and matching hair-clips – whispered as best she could and whined when one of the Palace Guards glanced at her, judgmentally as most Pride natives were wont to do. Stella glared at the demon for making their Hellpuppy uncomfortable and then cleared her throat.

"If we have no reason to be here for this argument, I request entrance to this event." She narrowed her eyes as she gestured at Octavia – who, dressed as nicely as could be in that woe-is-me cardigan ensemble, was comforting her distressed, well-dressed puppy – before she sneered at her 'husband'. "If you wish to entertain these plebeian concerns, feel free to remain out here for the remainder of the event."

"Yes... darling. I just fucking might." Stolas harrumphed as he glared back at her. Stella rolled her eyes and looked back at her girls.

"Come along, Octavia. Maureen. Your father will be in eventually." She ushered the two in and accepted the complimentary wine that was usually handed out on entry. She downed that and then took Octavia's glass before her daughter could take a single sip. She downed that glass and then gestured to an entryway on the right. "Take Maureen so that she can handle her business down that hall, third door on the left. If anyone gives you trouble–"

"We'll be fine, Mum. C'mon, Mo, hold my hand and stay close. Some of these demons make good on the Nobility Rumors." Octavia rolled her eyes and guided the puppy away to the young ladies' room. Stella hummed as she watched them go and set her two empty glasses on a passing server's tray.

She ventured into the grand hall, snarled at the rotted corpse of a Sinner acting as the concierge that was about to announce her sole entrance – she'd rather enter unannounced than be announced on her own or as Stolas' wife when the bastard couldn't be bothered to try and save face – and then, once the Sinner had rethought his decision, let out a soft exhale as she fell into her element: participating in high society's social events. The wife of Paimon's Heir-apparent ventured over to a small cluster of familiar socialites.

"That is such a gaudy banner," Andrealphus, her brother, was saying as she slipped into the group. He gestured at the duck-themed banner that read 'Congratz Charlie & Signifi-cunt Other!', and quickly retracted his hand. "I mean, if Queen Lilith actually approved that, we really are doomed to be eradicated by Heaven. And for an actual good reason, I'd say." The other Goetia members chortled along with him and he smiled as their eyes met. "Ah, Stella! Welcome to this mockery of a festivity. And where is your husband...?"

"Out front, humoring lesser demons." Stella harrumphed and snagged another glass of wine from a server that walked by. She downed it with a sigh and crossed her arms as she looked around at her, well not friends, but associates by class. "How is everyone?"

"Oh, nothing has changed for us, love, but there are rumors stoking the Hell-Fire about you," Great Marquis Andras, the raven-owl with various Hellhound silhouettes depicted on his robes, said as he swirled his glass. He sipped his wine and then arched a brow as a gleam entered his eye. "Is it true you and your husband attended that little stunt Queen Bee-Lzebub arranged last month? You two obtained a Hellhound Pup?"

"Of course it isn't!" Andrealphus scoffed before Stella could get a word in edgewise. "My darling sister here barely has a tolerance for the servants in her home and has no patience for meager sadism. Why would she ever get a Hellhound?"

"Well, they are smarter than your fucking horde of Queefs." Stella deadpanned, a bit irked from her brother speaking in her place. She appreciated his befuddled stammer and sipped from her new glass of wine before she looked at the Great Marquis. "As a matter of fact, it was our daughter Octavia who obtained the Hellpup."

"Octavia? Isn't she into taxidermy?" Marquis Naberius, the three-headed crow, asked from his corner of their gossip ring. "She isn't preparing to actually practice on the poor thing, is she?"

"She damn well better not." Andras harrumphed and scowled.

"She won't. Octavia has taken to the little one, and little Maureen is actually quite adorable. Like a little living doll. She actually welcomes our desire to dress her up pretty, unlike some pets I could mention." Stella smirked as Andrealphaus let out an annoyed squawk and he narrowed his eyes. Yes, she knew how proud he was of that little rat he called 'Precious', a rising star in the Sinstagram 'pet forum', but made the mistake of mentioning the Queef's dislike for being dressed up, which kept it from breaking into the top ten pet pictures.

"I sense a sibling dispute on the horizon...Oh, my word, could it be that the papers actually spoke true?" Naberius muttered as he and others around them started to focus and gossip on another entry. The lights above swirled and glasses in the hands of all doubled in size and content. Stella, like the others, followed his gaze and was able to put together what she figured out by the blatant signs proclaimed: Queen Bee-Lzebub had arrived.

It wasn't the Sin – dressed in scarlet formal attire that still showed off a figure most demons, Stella included, would kill for – the wife of Stolas' eyes lingered on, however. No, that honor went to the orange-furred Hound of Hell that walked in with the Sin in question on his arm. His deliciously, powerful and bare arm... The single-armed, studded, white leather jacket hung off Cerberus' frame so well, opened slightly to show off a black shirt, and paired well with the dark pants that had tape around his right thigh.

No, Stella wasn't drooling, she had better class and self-control than that...but she was so fucking tempted.

"Damned guests of King Lucifer, please welcome The Sin of Gluttony, Queen Bee-Lzebub, and her consort, The Hound of Hell, Lord Cerberus." The rotted corpse of a Sinner acting as concierge introduced them to a polite applause. Cerberus leaned over and muttered something to Bee-Lzebub which resulted in her laughing and snuggling further into his arm as they strode – to clarify: Cerberus strode while Bee-Lzebub hovered to diminish the obvious size difference between them – toward the head of the hall, where the host and his daughter sat entertaining other Kings and Sins that had arrived earlier.

Now that Stella looked, she recognized Asmodeus, Mammon, Baal, Leviathan, and the ever shifting Paimon among the guests given priority attention from the King of Hell and his daughter. Oh, she just noticed the creature beside the Princess. ...A Sinner? Well, that explained the banner, at least.

Her gaze ventured back to Cerberus and watched his tail lash...and perhaps she enjoyed the view of the muscled rear it was attached to. What? Stella had needs! And tonight would be an opportune time for her to get them fulfilled!

"If you'd like to remove your jaw from the floor, Sister." Andrealphus' smirk had her sneering at him. Bastard, just because he lucked out without the need of demonic biology snarling in the back of his head or heating his loins didn't give him the right to ridicule her for it! He smirked and pointed at the entrance, where Octavia hastily slid to a stop by the entrance with a hand on Maureen's collar, keeping the whining puppy from crossing the threshold. "Your daughter's pet is about to make a fool of herself. Best go help her correct that behavior."

"Thank you, Brother." She growled, annoyed by his interruption of her appreciation of Cerberus' form, before she knocked back her enlarged glass of wine and strode off. She wouldn't do anything to the Hellpuppy, she vividly remembered the warning delivered to her only a month ago, but would offer a few words of warning to her daughter about Andrealphus' opinion on her recent adoption. After all, family couldn't be trusted not to stab you in the back.

"Mind if I join you, Stella?" Marquis Andras asked and offered his arm as he matched her stride. Stella eyed him warily, but accepted the gesture and continued the trek to her daughter's side with him. They were at the base of the Grand Hall's short stairwell entryway when he spoke again. "Fascinating specimen, isn't he?"

"I beg your pardon?" Stella frowned.

"Lord Cerberus." Andras smirked at her with his larger beak. "I do not bear his visage on my robes for coincidence, Stella. My house and realm are owed to the Hound of Hell's interference in a territory dispute between archaic noble families that are...lost to us. I have followed his life closely since we first met...twelve millennia ago."

"...He comes from before the Fall?" Stella muttered, chancing a glance over her shoulder as Cerberus stopped and customarily knelt before Lucifer.

"Yes. Would you like to know more?" Andras asked.

"...Only if you're offering." She warned, knowing that nothing in Hell came free.

"To discuss my family crest and its subject? With great pleasure, I would gladly just take some of your time."

"There are ducks on the ducking banner." Naruto muttered to Bee just after they'd been formally introduced. As was custom, his title was given instead of his name, which honestly? That was fine by Naruto. It allowed him more freedom to interview potential families without risk of being pressured. Especially if he remembered to disguise himself.

"Oh, fuck, there are! Poor Charlie-Pop..." Bee tittered as she hung off of his arm. She took a quick and subtle sniff. "Shit, this gala is so dull...The Vibes in here suck."

"That's not the only thing in here that sucks." Naruto smirked as he kept his eyes on his former employer. Lucifer preferred to examine his nails, playing the 'holier than thou' role he was made to play by Grand Design, if that was still a thing. He forced the snarl from his face as their last verbal exchange came to mind, but his tail lashed all the same. If he tries to start anything here, I know I told Bee I'd try to keep my cool, but... all I can fucking do is 'try'. I still wanna sock him in that stupid smug face.

Bee snorted and gently pinched his arm, snapping him from his thoughts that were only stoking a dying fire.

"Are you trying to hint at something, Gummy Bear?" She asked, a hint of anticipation in her eye and a subtle stroke of her upper right hand over his forearm told him what craving was on the horizon. He would deal with that later when it actually came up.

"Me? Hint?" Naruto smiled down at her and gently swished his tail into hers to briefly disrupt the oscillating flow before it tried to wrap around him. "Bae-Bee, if I need to drop hints, then you need another checkup."

"Ugh, pass." Bee groaned and shivered as she pushed against him. Yep, that craving was coming at full speed with no stops on the horizon. Dammit, Lucifer. Why couldn't he have actually thrown a party that would distract his girlfriend's Gluttonous cravings of lust? A happy gasp escaped her lips as she zeroed in on the guests around Lucifer. "Papa Baal's here?! He barely shows up to anything!"

"You call King Baal, Papa Baal?" Naruto arched his brow. That was a first for him, to learn about a parental figure that was since far absent from his partner's life. Well, this deep into a relationship, anyway. Bee smirked up at him.

"We all came from somewhere, Gummy Bear. Papa Baal, well, he's not my dad exactly, but he helped Ozzie and I adjust after we arrived in Hell. Ozzie more than me."

"I forget how young you are sometimes, relatively speaking." Naruto mused with a smirk of his own. She pinched his arm for daring to comment on her age, not that she cared he did, but because they were up to the edge of the head of the Great Hall. It was at that point that Bee released his arm and zoomed up to Lucifer.

"Sup, Short King? Heard your were throwing a party and I know how much you suck at it, so I'm here to help!" She greeted, the smile on her face and genuine delivery obvious to all. Naruto had to look away to hide a laugh. Fuck, his girlfriend was a riot.

"...Thanks, Bee." Lucifer flashed an overly toothy smile to hide his annoyance at being called out on his inadequacies. "Charlie says you helped her and Vaggie out?"

"Eh, the Chickadee was hiding her true nature from Charlie-Pop – hi, girls! Glad things worked out! – and you know how I feel about lying in relationships." Bee mused pointedly as the two Sins held a stare for a long moment. After that moment, Lucifer huffed his agreement and waved her away towards a throne denoted as hers, if the carved Seal of Beelzebub at the head of the throne was anything to go by. Bee floated back and bowed before she grinned around at the others. "Pie Guy, King Kaiju-Dong, Mammogram, how're things? Good? Great, glad we could chat. Papa Baal!"

Bee zipped over to engulf the head of a large furred frog-man in a hug. Baal chuckled and returned the embrace. They spoke softly, and Naruto let their interaction remain in his peripherals as he focused on Lucifer, whose eyes locked with his own. An eternity or an instant passed before Lucifer's minuscule nod allowed Naruto to rise up the steps. As soon as he reached the edge of the thrones, he dropped to a knee and tucked his head down.

"King Lucifer Morningstar, gratefully, I thank you for your invitation." He rumbled in a dialect often reserved for more formal events, but he had told Bee he would try not to start anything. Giving a formal greeting like that would definitely tip Lucifer off that he didn't want to be here, and was only here as Bee's support.

"Cerberus Na Ruto," Lucifer said with narrowed eyes. His hand tightened on his staff and he leaned back in his throne. "You may rise…once you kiss my boot."

"Dad!" Charlie hissed. Bless her black heart, Naruto would remember this moment. The King barely spared her a glance before he rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You can get up, you ungrateful bastard."

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Luce." Naruto scoffed as he stood up and crossed his arms. "And once you've managed that, do me a favor and fucking update my registry in the Books of Hell."

"Regis–Oh, yeah. I should do that." Lucifer muttered. He scowled up at Naruto. "It'd keep you from sneaking back in here and stealing more of my own shit from under my nose."

"Unless you started eating jewels, I would never go anywhere near one of your shits." Naruto growled he strode forward and leaned down to put his face at Lucifer's level. "Let's cut the macho chit-chat, alright? We're both too fucking old for it. You and I aren't friends, but tonight is for Charlie and...Vaggie, right?"

The Fallen he glanced at, changed into a nice red number to go with Charlie's suit, frowned at him. The surprise was well hidden under her simmering anger.

"Yeah."

"Right. Tonight is for Charlie and Vaggie," Naruto said as he looked back at the King. He offered his left hand forward and narrowed his eyes. "So how about it, asshole? Truce?"

"...Yeah, fine." Lucifer grumbled after he caught sight of Charlie pouting at him from the corner of his eye. Yet another reminder of why she was Naruto's favorite Morningstar. They shook hands and Lucifer pulled himself in close to glare at him theougb a smile. "If you get any fucking leads on where she is, you will tell me or I will make you so fucking miserable even Bee's parties wouldn't cheer you up."

"You do realize you just indirectly confirmed her parties are better than yours, right?" Naruto asked dryly. Lucifer opened his mouth, closed it, opened it once more and then snarled at him. Naruto reclaimed his hand and held it along with the other up placatingly. "Just pointing it out, Luce. I honestly don't care who throws the better party, or anything like that. As long as Bee's happy, I'm happy."

"Ugh, disgusting."

"Another word out of you, Paimon, and I'll twist your shape-shifting ass into a fucking permanent pretzel." Naruto growled his warning at the King of Goetic Spirits. His eyeshine lit up as the Third King of Hell's plumage flared in challenge before they smoothed.

"You don't even have a station to back your claim, consort." Paimon sneered. Tch, like this thirsty fucker had any ground to stand on. The only reason he eventually submitted after Naruto kicked his ass was because Lucifer had taken a minute to walk out in the enchanted speedo Naruto had tricked him into. Naruto had never seen anyone, human or Demon, give up for a glimpse of formerly angelic ass so fast before. He hoped to never see it again.

"Ooh, that sounds like some quality entertainment." Lucifer chuckled as he settled back in his throne. "Maybe after dinner, a light showcasing of skill?"

"I would gladly put this dog in his place at your behest, my liege." Paimon crooned as he fluttered 'lashes' at the oblivious – and mostly heterosexual; though it was several millennia ago, Naruto did help him and Lilith coin the whole 'Devil's Threeway' thing, and that's where they came up with ground rules – King of Hell. His gaze flickered to the frowning Charlie and he coughed. "Ahem, also if the Princess even wishes to see it, that is."

"What? Of course Charlie wants to see it, don't you Charlie?" Lucifer asked the girl. Charlie stared at him down until he coughed and awkwardly looked away. "Or not? Eh, we'll wait until after dinner and ask again. You can go away now, you lousy fuck."

"Whatever, Douchifer." Naruto shrugged and flipped Paimon off before he walked over to the edge of the circle where Mammon and Asmodeus sat beside King Baal and where Bee's empty throne resided. Empty, because Bee zipped up to him and grabbed his wrist.

"C'mere, Gummy Bear." She tugged him to her throne, sat him down and then planted her fine ass right onto his crotch. Merciful fuck, the cravings couldn't be hitting this hard already! Naruto almost choked on spit and then relaxed as two well manicured sets of claws started to scratch along his jaw. "Ahh, now I have the best seat in the whole Ring."

"Eh, looks a little lumpy to me." Ozzie hummed and nodded at Naruto when he cracked an eye open. The three-headed king smirked at him. "You look more relaxed than the last time we met."

"Well, you could say I found a job that I love," he said around a pleased rumble as his hands wrapped around Bee's sides and his chin rested atop her head between her ears. Bee's happy scent tickled his nose as she snuggled into his embrace and hugged his arms.

"Fucking figures the cunt would start riding your rocket. Bitch is addicted to doggy-style," Mammon said with a scoff as he scarfed down one of several platters of hor d'oeuvres. Naruto cracked an eye open and growled at the Sin of Greed, who sneered back. "You got somethin to fuckin' say, cunt?"

"You put on any more weight and it'll affect your ticket sales." Naruto sniped hard and fast before he let his eye fall shut again. He ignored the nasty smell of irritation and humiliation Mammon let off in lieu of enjoying the subliminal worry that underlined both. It helped that Bee cackled in his arms while Ozzie failed to cover his chuckle.

The hoarse chortle reminded him of the fourth figure present on this side of the guests of honor. Naruto lifted his eyelids to make contact with the gaze of King Baal, who had an amused grin on his now bearded face – ah yes, another shapeshifter in a position of power. Well, Hell was full of them, right up there with liars, he didn't know why he was so surprised – and his hands interlaced beneath his chin.

"Cerberus Na Ruto, hm? It isn't An Nubis Taru anymore?" Baal asked, a twinkle in his crimson eyes. Naruto smirked back at him.

"Haven't gone by that in a long time...but then you'd be one of the few who knew me as such. Wouldn't you, Heavenly Ba'al?"

"Ha! I havent heard that name in centuries! Good point, boy. Good point." Baal chuckled and his form gradually shifted into a green furred, bearded cat-like creature. "It was quite tough to be a god, though, wasn't it?"

"Oh, don't even get me started, Baal." Naruto chuckled. He ignored the way Bee shifted as if to look up at him. "We were just a couple of shams back then, deified by ignorant masses."

"Yes, it was quite the experience treading where those same mortals hadn't trod." Baal barked out a laugh and leaned on the arm of his throne. "Being objects of devotion, the subjects of psalms, it was a rather touching notion if I recall."

"The fuck are you two getting on about?" Bee frowned. She looked up at him and he grinned down at her. "What, Gummy Bear?"

"Pfft, I'm sorry, bitch called you what?!" Mammon asked after he doused another goetic spirit trying to pay tribute and gain favor in either soda or liquor via spittake.

"He's my Gummy Bear." Bee repeated shamelessly as she cupped his jaw and brought his muzzle down to rub her nose against his. Naruto rumbled blissfully and felt his tail whap against the seat of her throne as his Bae-Bee treated him to her favorite form of affection which she dubbed the Nuzzler Kiss. "Dashing, daring, courageous and caring– my Gummy Bear is all that wrapped up in a sweet, sexy and strong as fuck package. And boy does he deliver."

"All for you, Bae-Bee." Naruto rumbled around a smile that his girl buzzed into. They shared a hot liplock that only increased his rumble and her buzz.

"Aw, that's fuckin' adorable!" Ozzie cooed at them. He leaned on the arm of his throne and grinned at them when their lips parted. "Shit, Bee, you're acting like you actually love the poor bastard."

"That's because I do, Oz." Bee snorted before she and Naruto froze. The gazes of the two Sins and the Second King of Hell had become intense and with it was a fluctuation of power. Naruto tightened his arms around his girlfriend as she glared back at her fellow Sins, who were likely annoyed that she was 'broaching' disaster.

"Love? You? Please! If that's true, let Jahweh's lightning strike me–Gaaaah, fuck!" Mammon twitched and jerked before he spasmed out of his throne after a stray light fixture fell onto his head and electrocuted him.

Hm, what were the odds of that happening? Naruto glanced up at the screwdriver-wielding clone that was messing with the lights, and had a grimace on its face. Annoyed at its fuckup and the timing of it, he dismissed the clone and went about devising another form of diversion. He had wanted the lights all to fall later when everyone was eating the main course so that he and Bee could slip out without issue. On the plus side, that was the only light fixture to fall.

Downside, again, was the timing of it.

"Well, he did invoke the Forbidden Name." Baal muttered before he scrutinized Naruto and Bee. "But little Bee, you are aware of what such claims could bring, aren't you?"

"We already talked about that." Naruto growled. He glared at Ozzie, Baal, and then Mammon as the last climbed back onto his throne with a twitch. He chanced a glance at Lucifer, happened to catch his eye, and gave him a very small warning in the form of a very particular flick of his ear. Semicircle counterclockwise, just at the tip.

Lucifer arched a brow and let a toothy grin form, likely at the potential chaos that would ensue. The Fallen turned King of Hell loved any opportunity to gauge Naruto's strength, which was likely why he would be showing off later. At least it was against Paimon, the smug fucker.

With the permission he didn't need granted by absence of denial, Naruto glared back at the aforementioned trio that tried to shame his Bae-Bee. A fruitless endeavor that he'd normally pay no heed to, but everyone has seemed to have forgotten just why he was known as Hell's First and Last defense. It started as a trickle and he covered the hand that bore Mephistopheles' sigil – it was a secret he'd kept from Lucifer for millennia, he wasn't going to out it now – and lifted the first limiter.

The gong that sounded drew the whole hall to a quiet and Naruto figured with this many demons watching his every move he might as well let loose.

A second gong sounded.

"Hell will not act against us, not in the form of karmic retribution, nor due to Punishment of Sin." He growled as his fur coat shone bright and made good on any argument Charlie might have on his 'claim' to the Morningstar name. Bee buzzed and nuzzled into him, gently snapping her mouth at the soft embers that flaked off of his fur. She couldn't ingest it, so he didn't worry himself about that. Still, a message was to be delivered; he glared at the demons around him. "Because if anyone tries to act against us, I will crush them. Just as I had any rebellion against the Rule of Sin. Just as I had the resistance forces to Lucifer's ascendancy. Just as I had shattered Hell when it tried to stop me before...it knows I can and will do so again."

The Hellquake that followed was quick, but violent. Naruto held his glare on the Second King, Mammon and Asmodeus before he sighed and pulled all of his power back. He smiled, a not-friendly smile, but a political one; one that belied the power that he carefully concealed under his skin.

"Any more doubts or criticisms you wish to share?" Naruto asked as he ignored Bee's subtle squirms and shifts and the effect that would have on his blood flow if he didn't. He hoped that the second floor's coat room was still a glorified guest 'closet', because he had a feeling that Bee wasn't going to cut him some slack until she satisfied another craving.

"Mine are quelled." Baal admitted with a smirk as he sat back and donned the appearance of an elderly humanoid.

"I'm good." Ozzie spoke tightly and crossed his legs.

"How much to get you to move to Greed?"

"Mammon, you can't even fathom the amount you'd have to pay me to live in your shitty Ring. Because I would charge you fucking hourly." Naruto deadpanned. What? He didn't like Greed. That Ring sucked.

AN: ooh, a power flare and a semi cliffhanger! Along with several other semi things, Hey-oh!

Thanks for reading all, see ya next week!

Oh, right and I bit the bullet and made a P4TR3ON.

If you know, you know.