Heroes, Hydras, and Little Sisters

Hello everyone and welcome to the latest chapter of I'm Too Sober For This! First off, sincerest apologies for the long delay, college finals hit one or two of my Beta Readers pretty hard. But it's here at last with our heroes entering the warfront in this chapter! Now then, since you've all waited so patiently I'll dispense with the usual advertisements and simply say, on to the story!

Daytime: Underworld War Camp

"Alright, here goes." I took a steadying breath before holding the Evil Piece right over the spot where my newest Peerage member's heart would be.

The process for switching authorities of Evil Pieces and Peerage members was normally something that could be accomplished with a few administrative spells, private passwords, and a little litigation, but this time was a little different. Between the facts that Kuroka had a mutated piece in her, and that she had killed her previous King, a few extra invasive steps had to be taken to put her under my authority.

Steps that, supposedly, should best be done while the subject was unconscious due to how uncomfortable and invasive the process was.

Of course, with my luck, the fact just seemed to arouse the nekoshou in front of me even more than she normally was. Somehow.

If there was any pain involved, my new Bishop didn't show it. In fact, the closed-eye expression on her face suggested she might even be enjoying it. Whatever the case, the last step of the procedure to swap the authorities between the piece in my hand and the one in her chest was underway, so I began to remove my hand and let it run its course. The artifact hovered in place by itself and would remain there until everything was done.

"Nyah." Kuroka purred while grabbing my wrist. "Ny-o need to be so formal. Keep it there as long as you like."

"Kuroka." I sighed. "Now is not the time for this. We'll be going into battle soon."

"Surely you can spare a moment," she tried pulling my hand further down, "Who knya-ows when you'll get a chance to feel a woman's skin again."

"Nya-ha-ha!" Shirone snickered from her spot a few feet away. She'd gotten word that I'd be making Kuroka my Bishop today and had asked permission to come watch while also practicing her 'nya-ing' for some reason. Though by the look of it, that wasn't all she came to do. "Just cop a feel already, Shirou. I won't tell."

"You still want me to marry your sister." I grunted while trying to free my hand from the elder nekoshou's grasp. For someone who primarily fought with magic, she could be surprisingly strong when she wanted to be.

"Nya-ha-ha, of course!" The white-haired girl gave a small, but definitely impish, smile. "I get Nee-chan and a great Onii-chan who can make me delicious food, and Kuro-nee gets her strong babies. Come to think of it, would any babies you have be considered 'sword babies'?"

So help me I could hear the foreign Issei scream something in the background about the pitfalls and unreasonable managerial benchmarks of "proper basic mass-producing biological weapon manufacturing".

"My Unlimited Blade Works doesn't function like that." I corrected, finally getting my hand back. This did not, however, stop Kuroka from invading my personal space.

"Well I can function as your unlimited baby works." She purred.

"The only person here who's gonna give Shirou babies is me!" The voice of Serafall caused the hair on both nekoshou to stand on end. Luckily for them, it was just a projection of the Maou created by a magic circle. As much as she wanted to, the current war was keeping her from visiting me personally at the moment. That did not, however, mean it would be wise to anger her.

"Oh, Leviathan-sama." Kuroka laughed nervously. "Is it that time already?"

"It's been time." She replied with her arms crossed. "And since it appears your conversion to Shi-chan's pet is complete, get out there before I come over there personally and slap you onto the battlefield with my wand!"

"Of course, right away." Kuroka moved to leave but stopped for a quick moment to give her sister a hug. "Be safe out there, my dear little Shirone."

"You too, Nee-chan." Shirone hugged her back before they both exited the tent.

"Honestly," Serafall sighed, "I'm going to have to put some kind of warding spell on you one of these days. It feels like every time I turn my back there's another woman trying to get to the sword in your pants."

"Believe me, I can't fathom my own luck with that sort of stuff most days." I shook my head. "Also, seriously, more sword puns?"

"Afraid that's a packaged deal, my Queen of Swords." Serafall winked. "You become known as a master of swords, the sword puns are sure to follow." Her expression turned a bit more somber as she held her currently translucent hand up to my cheek. "But all joking aside, be careful out there. Ophis may be the main threat but she's not the only person you need to worry about. Don't let your guard down."

"I won't." I gave her the most reassuring look I could before turning and heading outside. What greeted me could best be described as organized chaos. Soldiers, medics, and workers were all running back and forth looking to accomplish any of a dozen tasks. Like many of the other platoons that had been dispatched to hold the line, this group had been doing its job well, though not without cost.

"Hah." Asia suddenly appeared walking next to me, wiping some sweat off her forehead. "It's like I'm back at the church only with longer hours. It'd be fun if things weren't so hectic."

"We're at war, Asia." I reminded. "Things always get crazy when that happens. But that's also why we're here, to lighten the burden on everyone."

"I'm still wondering if it's a smart idea to have us all split up like this?" The blond girl mused. "I know our Peerage is strong and we all have things we're good at, but isn't it dangerous for a few of us to be alone right now?"

"We've been asked to reinforce any weaknesses in this line." I repeated the instructions from memory. "None of us will technically be alone and in the worst case scenario we've all been given permission to contact the Maous. In theory, a battle here shouldn't interest Ophis."

"Only if she doesn't figure out you're here." Asia pointed out. "But don't worry, I made sure to pack all of your cooking supplies!" She held out a bag that did indeed look like she'd packed the whole kitchen from our house.

"I hope you stuck all the things that needed refrigeration in a place where they could stay cool." I deadpanned.

"Of course I did." The look on her face told me she wasn't so sure about that. "At least I think I did. Or am I thinking about the spare emergency organs?"

Before I could comment on anything further an explosion sounded in the distance.

"Emergency!" The voice of the platoon commander sounded in my ear through the communication seal. "The enemy has broken through the main line, they're heading straight here!"

"I'm on my way." I responded before turning to my first Bishop. "Take cover. I don't know how but they breached the line near here. Probably have a member of the Hero Faction leading them."

"I'll go protect the refrigerated food-slash-organs!" Asia ran off towards one of the other tents.

"Just stay out of trouble." I shook my head before activating my magic circuits and sprinting towards the edge of the camp. As soon as I reached it I leapt up and sprouted my wings, taking flight. Or as close to flight as I dared. I'd managed to improve a bit but flying hadn't really been the main focus of my own combat training. They made long-distance jumping easier though.

I had ignored the perverted whispers about seeing how they would improve my high jump game.

I only had to fly a short distance before I spotted the Khaos Brigade soldiers and landed, or rather slid to a stop before putting my wings away. "Commander!" I called to one of the devils nearby. "Pull everyone back and regroup for a counterattack. I'll hold them off until then."

"If I didn't already know what you were capable of I'd question your sanity." He commented. "But this is the Queen of Lady Leviathan I'm talking to. So instead I'll just say good luck."

"I'll let you know if the situation changes." I assured while taking a look at the enemy forces coming my way. There were at least a couple hundred I could see but more were undoubtedly following.

Not wanting to waste time, I summoned my bow and readied an arrow. Clearly what I planned to do had become well-known by this point as several soldiers flew down towards me in an attempt to stop it. Several swords were summoned around me as I launched them at the oncoming enemies, easily tearing through them while aiming my shot.

I fired even more blades at distant targets, intentionally slowing their speed so that they'd all dodge away from the projectiles, and right into a cluster.

It was then, when they regrouped and attempted another swarm tactic, that I fired something heavy.

"Caladbolg!"

The coiled projectile flew straight and true, slamming into, and tearing through, the first few lines of oncoming forces before detonating. A mass of screams sounded for about a second before being engulfed by the blast.

When the smoke cleared, the enemy numbers were significantly reduced. I scanned those who remained, this time looking for any who might be in command or might be trouble. I was able to spot a few of them and produced my Hrunting arrow. As before it was less destructive but with the ones I was targeting it would cause a different kind of damage: disruption.

I loosed one projection after another, the bloodthirsty arrows tearing through anyone else in order to hit their targets. Sure, I could've fired off more Caladbolgs, but without knowing the nature of the enemy leading them I figured it best to conserve my energy. And speaking of said enemy, I quickly noted something coming my direction very quickly. I leapt out of the way as the area I'd just been in was destroyed.

I'd had no time to summon another arrow and even if I had, detonating one of the stronger ones at this range would've been a bit unwise. Which is why I dismissed my bow and summoned Bakuya and Kanshou to my hands before landing a short distance away from the newcomer.

"Greetings." A young man in a black suit with a blue scarf tie stepped out of the dust cloud he created. "Do I have the pleasure of greeting the Queen of Swords?"

"I don't go by that title." I sighed. "But yes, I am Serafall's Queen, Emiya Shirou."

"Once again, a pleasure to meet you." He gave a gentleman's bow. I noticed at this point that he was a blond-haired, blue-eyed individual wearing glasses and had some of his hair tied in a braid that hung over his left shoulder. "My name is Arthur Pendragon of the Vali Faction. It's come to my attention that you're capable of wielding holy swords."

"I can wield basically anything that has a blade." I informed. "And when you say Pendragon, you don't mean…?"

"I am like many from the Hero Faction, a descendant of a hero." He confirmed. "You are looking at one of the two descendants of King Arthur." He produced a medieval broadsword from seemingly out of nowhere that had a gold cross-guard and a blood-red blade. My Structural Grasping immediately identified it as another fragment of this world's Excalibur, like Mimic and Rapid. Unlike those two, however, this one was on a higher level of power, the most powerful of all the fragments. "Now then, shall we duel for a bit?"

A Couple Minutes Earlier: Another Section of the Battlefield

Powerful slashes tore up the ground and the flying debris were all any normal combatant could see before the image of Xenovia and her opponent leaping back through the madness away from one another could be remotely made out.

"It seems Emiya didn't neglect the training of his Peerage." Siegfried observed while brandishing Gram and Balmung. "That's good, it means this fight won't be over too quickly."

"I concur." Xenovia took a stance, bearing her blade, Clarent. "I've already cut down too many of the rank and file. One can only warm up for so long."

They leapt forward and clashed again, the force of their blows ringing with each impact.

'It's a good thing my king can replicate so many styles.' Xenovia mused to herself while deflecting each blow she threw off. 'I was able to learn how to battle numerous types of opponents, including dual wielders!'

The significance of her practice became even more apparent when she was able to counterattack and nearly land a blow on Siegfried's midsection.

"Impressive." He complimented while landing a short distance away. "It really is a shame you abandoned your post as an exorcist. You could've done a lot of good in the world."

"You think just because I chose to follow a man with the body of a devil that I'm not doing good in this world?" Xenovia narrowed her eyes at the insult. "I've learned of those I once hunted and realized I was serving the wrong people. If you actually took some time to understand what you were doing, you'd likely do the same."

"I doubt it." Siegfried smirked. "Even as we speak the lines of defense have been breached in other areas. My allies will soon overwhelm this position, even the one protected by the Queen of Swords."

As if in answer to his declaration, a blast occurred in the distance. The swordsman turned to look at the nuclear-style explosion, his eyes widening.

"I beg to differ." The former exorcist smirked. "My King is mighty. But you already know that."

"Don't think it'll be that easy." He growled while activating his Sacred Gear and pulling out his other swords. "The Hero Faction will be victorious this day!"

"Then have at thee!" Xenovia declared while activating Clarent and charging towards her foe.

Another Section of the Battlefield

"FALL BACK!" Perseus yelled as he ran for his life from a massive fireball. Thinking quickly, he crested a hill and dove for cover as the projectile sailed over his head and took out a whole section of Brigade troops. "What the hell?! Of all the people for me to get why did it have to be the psycho that killed Heracles and scared Leonardo shitless!?"

Another fireball flew over the hill, incinerating a whole squad.

"And I can't believe I got another half-assed chump as an opponent." Karasuba walked up behind the apparent commander of the troops. "That floating head wasn't really your Balance Breaker, was it?"

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were petrified right now!" Perseus responded with a mix of anger and nervousness as he pointed his sword at her.

A swift kick that was far faster than he'd expected sent him flying several feet away as a response.

"Here's what I'm saying now." She brandished her sword as several more soldiers came flying in. Karasuba leapt up and spun acrobatically in the air, extending and retracting her sword multiple times in quick succession. The effect was like watching a large blender at work as the Brigade members were quickly sliced to ribbons. She landed shortly after that as a rain of blood and remaining body parts showered the immediate area around them. "Retreat or get carved up by a dragon."

"A hero doesn't retreat in the face of adversity." He responded weakly while struggling to stand up.

"Well said." Cao Cao complimented as he dropped down in front of Perseus. "But I do think it would be best if you moved to aid our other forces." The hero descendant pointed his spear at Karasuba. "I'll dispatch this beast."

"Aren't you the leader of these hero pricks?" The Sacred Gear holder rested her nodachi on her shoulder. "I was only half-paying attention when we were going over the main members of your faction."

"I am Cao Cao, descendant of Cao Mengde, the hero recorded in the Three Kingdoms!" He introduced while twirling his spear before shifting into a more relaxed stance.

"Never read it. Barely managed to get through Journey to the West with my eyes open, and that was with the monkey smacking me awake the entire time." She shrugged, dismissing his introduction with a yawn. "Anyway, my name's Karasuba, the Red Dragon Emperor, and that's a big deal for a few people. I'm apparently supposed to ask for you to surrender or something."

"Yes, I know of you." Cao Cao's eyes narrowed. "You killed Heracles and scared Leonardo out of his mind. Despite that I might've still offered you a place among my faction, but that's impossible now that you've ceased to be human."

"That's cute." Karasuba took a fighting stance. "I haven't been human for a long time now."

The spearman took a defensive posture before the two engaged, their weapons clashing together in a shower of sparks. Cao Cao maneuvered his spear and tried extending it at close range, missing only because Karasuba tilted her head at the last second before batting the spear away and extending her own weapon by Boosting. The spearman knelt down to dodge the swipe that would have decapitated him effortlessly, then jumped out of the way when she brought the blade down to split him in half, cleaving part of the beaten and blood-stained ground in two.

Karasuba's relentlessness continued as she shifted the weapon and swung it towards the faction leader while Boosting the length of the blade again to make up for the distance from his retreat, forcing him to block with his spear as he planted his feet to keep from being pushed back too far.

Once he stopped the momentum, he stabbed his spear down, shattering the blade and giving him the opportunity to close in on her to attack.

He quickly realized that this was a mistake, as this hardly phased the Red Dragon Emperor whom, against logic, rushed forward, throwing the broken blade while producing another from her Sacred Gear, all in practically the same motion.

Cao Cao dodged the broken tool and managed to correct his dire situation by quickly impaling his spear into the ground and using it as a fulcrum to swing around and aim a kick at Karasuba's head just before she could make another attempt at his.

His legs packed enough force to send her skidding back despite her blocking it with her forearm, but nowhere near enough to knock her off her feet.

The two fighters regained their footing at the exact same time, and both extended their weapons to try and catch the other off guard across the minor distance between them, the lethal points clashing at the halfway point before the Longinus broke through the inferior blade.

Karasuba raised a touki-covered hand just in time and grasped the weapon, bracing her feet as she tried to hold her position.

[Boost!] [Dragon Shot!]

A quickly expanding fireball was launched at the faction leader, who was forced to let go of his weapon in order to dodge the blast.

"Ah fuck." The dragon seethed as she tossed aside the holy weapon unceremoniously. "Not fond of that new weakness." She looked at her hand, noting all the skin had been removed down to the dragon scales beneath despite only a few seconds of contact. Even after she Boosted her healing factor and quickly closed the wound while approaching her opponent, she could still feel the sting it left behind assaulting her nerves that most likely would not be going away anytime soon.

"I must admit, you've got guts." Cao Cao complimented. "Most Devils I've faced don't think to grab the Longinus because of the pain it causes them. No, more accurately, most devils are aware they will be killed outright by being scratched by it, let alone grasping it like that."

"You think I'm afraid of a little sting? The monkey who trained me also had an extending weapon." She produced another nodachi. "I've learned a few tricks."

"Monkey, huh? Then you'll make for a worthy challenge." The hero descendant's spear returned to his hand with a tiny gesture. "Now, witness the power of this holy weapon!"

A bright light radiated from the Longinus, forcing Karasuba to shield her eyes as pain suddenly racked her body. "This weapon is feared by all creatures of the night and even some in Heaven! Behold its divine wrath!" He leapt up into the air and unleashed multiple blades of light, bombarding Karasuba's location.

A mass of smoke was kicked up as he felt at least a few impacts on his target. Landing once again, Cao Cao narrowed his eyes. 'Surely it couldn't have been that easy.' He mused cautiously.

"[Cardinal Hide.]"

Red light erupted from the center of the smoke, dispersing it as he witnessed the gray-haired girl's scaly, more muscular new form.

"Nope, not that easy, good." He smiled while readying his spear.

Karasuba simply glared at him like a barely restrained predator for several ominous seconds.

And then the ground cratered in an instant as she launched herself forward at a speed that went in complete contrast to her increased size.

Cao Cao barely dodged to the side as she sliced the area he'd just been with the sword that looked comically small in her new form, tearing a several-meter long trench in the ground.

However, she didn't stop there as she followed through on him before the fresh trench was fully registered in his eyes, her body turning towards him seamlessly with the sword already above her head. Like an executioner's blade, the tool of murder extended at the same time it fell on him, striking the spearman while he was still in midair.

Even though his Sacred Gear was more powerful than the mass-produced tool, and had magic to fly, the force of the blow was enough to send him speeding backwards after blocking it. The landscape around him was a blur as he flipped and dug his feet into the ground to stop his momentum, but Karasuba had already closed the distance with her enhanced speed. It was only thanks to Cao Cao's experience that he was able to redirect her next vertical strike into the ground before counterattacking with a downward strike of his own.

To his surprise, Karasuba successfully blocked it with her left arm which suddenly had upraised scales.

Upraised scales that were notably very pointy and aimed straight at his face.

Cao Cao instinctively activated his spear's barrier as the scales fired, pushing him back.

[Boost!]

The force of the scales increased exponentially as he was sent flying into the air again. This time Karasuba followed him and wound up above him.

[Boost!] [Dragon Shot!]

Again the spearman activated his barrier while being literally blasted down to earth again, barely managing to maintain his posture as he was hammered back. He crash-landed on his feet and braced himself to avoid being overwhelmed, the earth cracking as he pushed back against the attack as it bled out around him and obliterated everything that wasn't protected by his Sacred Gear.

When it finally dispersed, several feet of the area around him was scorched and melted. Not that he had time to notice as he reflexively fired several blades of light towards his opponent the moment the attack ended to finally buy himself some breathing room.

Unfortunately, she wasn't there anymore.

'I can't sense her.' He realized as a chill ran down his spine.

It was only thanks to the change in pressure that he was able to whirl around in time and block an overhead strike before he even laid eyes on the monster after his life. "You'll have to do better than that!" Cao Cao declared as light erupted from his spear again.

Instead of backing down, Karasuba's body and sword suddenly burned, igniting as she continued to push against her opponent. Cao Cao felt his skin starting to roast from the intensity of the flames despite his own mystic protections.

"How's this for better?" A vicious grin spread across her monstrous, deranged face as she continued to force him down with the weight of the beast she now was and claimed to be.

For the first time since the Khaos Brigade gained steam, Cao Cao felt fear stemming from someone that wasn't Ophis.

The spearman roared in defiance as he pushed up against the oncoming inferno, the light of his spear growing in intensity and brightness against the wicked crimson blaze.

Brighter and hotter. More intense and more furious. The clash was so overwhelming in so many ways that many nearby combatants stopped to watch.

And then, as with all cases when two forces collide, something broke.

In this case, it was Karasuba's sword.

And with nothing else for her fire to channel through, it exploded.

The massive eruption of red and gold took out several combatants from all parties that had been unfortunate enough to have gotten too close to the blast.

"Tch." The humanoid dragon cursed under her breath as she landed a short distance away, a new sword already in hand. "I almost had him. Bastard was right. I need to get my hands on some better quality swords after this."

The slightest flicker of gold through the flying dust and debris was all she needed to tell where her prey had landed. It really was a good thing those holy-wielding dumbasses didn't know what subtlety was, let alone spell it.

Her very being flickered around the fresh crater, and Cao Cao could only curse before the game resumed.

Dragon's flame and holy light clashed again and again, destroying the ground and sending melted and flaming debris flying in all directions. They moved and shifted at high speed, circling each other while barely dodging the other's empowered weapons.

Eventually, the inevitable happened and Karasuba's latest sword broke as Cao Cao attempted to impale her from the front.

However, this time Karasuba pulled another trick.

[Boost!]

Cao Cao lost his balance as he found his target was suddenly several feet away.

[Cancel!]

A distance which shrunk instantly as he suddenly ran into Karasuba's scaly fist.

[Boost!][Cancel!][Boost!][Cancel!][Boost!][Cancel!][Boost!][Cancel!]

The same phenomenon happened again, again, again, and again as the young man's face met the dragon girl's oncoming fist.

The speed of the space retracting and the scales on her hand gave the impacts some real sting. Eventually, he lost track of time but was sure it went on like this for a couple minutes before finally ending as Cao Cao ran into her fist one last time before collapsing onto the ground.

"A trick I learned from an insane asshole." Karasuba had to steady herself, the trick itself wearing at her stamina more than she had anticipated. "Yep, that does use up a bit too much energy when used in quick succession."

Unlike her alternate twin's subspecies Boosted Gear, her Sacred Gear didn't have a vast wellspring of Boosts to create a rapid-fire "ping-pong effect" in a long duration. But with what she had, it was just enough to pull the trick, even if the effect's duration was much shorter.

The Hero Faction leader groaned. It was understandable considering his face was now a bruised and bloody mess. Still, it was mildly surprising he was conscious at all.

"Oh, still alive after all that?" The dragon girl mocked. "I guess that trick doesn't pack as much force as I thought." She raised her sword. "But this should do it."

A sudden eruption of power caused her to jump back, however, as she witnessed the faction leader struggling to his feet. "How dare you humiliate me like that!" Cao Cao snarled with a heavy lisp due to how swollen his face was. "I will not leave this world as the butt of a joke!"

"Your whole mission is a joke." Karasuba rested her sword on her shoulder. "You think just because you inherited something that you have to follow the same path, no matter what? We've already got heroes willing to fight for a better world down here so why not try helping them for a change? And if helping nonhumans is too painful for you, step aside and let us handle our own problems. Though if you do want to die a joke, you could wait to see if that jackass will show up and take a crack at you. It's not like you aren't loaded with material to work with."

"You think a beast like you knows what a hero looks like?" Cao Cao spat, holding his spear above his head. "I'll show you what a hero looks like: [Balance Breaker: Polar Night Longinus Chakravartin]!"

A pillar of light shot into the sky as the first, and most powerful, of the Longinus weapons was awoken.

A Few Minutes Earlier: Back with Shirou

This… was a potential problem.

All it had taken was one look for me to know the sword Arthur wielded was powerful.

In an annoying way, which, as my recent guest had emphasized on multiple occasions, was among the worst ways.

Every time our blades clashed I had to keep my guard up even when we separated. The reason being was half the time I had to dispose of my current projections and make new ones.

Why, you might ask? Because the ability of Excalibur Ruler was literally in the name, much like its counterparts.

It had the power to not only control living beings and organic matter, but also control inorganic matter and even phenomena. This meant when I switched to my bow or fired other projectiles, he could wield his weapon and control the forces directing their flight. Even the flight of my twin swords or Hrunting would be affected if I let them loose.

It was only thanks to seeing Arthur's history with the sword that I was able to anticipate how he would use it to manipulate phenomena and save myself from any early unexpected injuries.

"My compliments to you, Queen of Swords." The Pendragon descendant praised as our blades met again in a shower of sparks before I leapt back, dismissed my projections, and summoned new ones. "No one's been able to read my moves quite as well as you without forewarning. It seems the rumors are true about your ability to judge someone by their sword."

"I wasn't aware such rumors had gotten around." I responded. "I've just had my own unique experiences when it comes to blades."

"Indeed." Arthur brandished his sword. "I've never met anyone with such a varied arsenal of mystic weapons. How do you do it? Is it a Sacred Gear, special dimensional magic, or your own magic you've refined over the years?"

"I'll let you figure it out." I quipped while summoning and firing several more lines of swords. Again Arthur readied to swing his sword and affect their flight but before they arrived I detonated a few of them, causing the other swords to scatter in random directions towards him.

It didn't deter the holy sword wielder too much as he parried the shrapnel with incredible speed and skill. He turned as several more of them disappeared, a result of me ending the projections while speeding around to his blind side.

Clearly I didn't conceal my movements very well as Arthur had no trouble spotting me. That, however, was the plan. As I approached, a few detonations occurred at his feet, the result of some smaller swords and daggers I didn't dismiss. The swordsman leapt out of the smoke, relatively unharmed, save for a few scuffs on his suit, as I closed the gap, summoning a sword that resembled a gladius with a leather-wrapped handle and a red jewel on the end.

Naturally, Arthur blocked this sword once he landed, likely confident in his sword's ability as we exchanged a few blows. When I didn't immediately dismiss the blade he attempted to use Ruler's ability to dispel it, timing the use of this power when I was about to strike at one of his openings. That's when he felt pain as my blade cut into his stomach, his eyes widening in surprise before he leapt back. I didn't pursue and relaxed my stance as he landed a short distance away.

"How?" Arthur held his wound. "Excalibur Ruler controls organics, matter, and even phenomena? How did you overcome it?"

"You seem like someone who'd study history." I noted. "Are you familiar with Paracelsus Von Hohenheim?"

"The famous physician and alchemist of the German Renaissance?" The Pendragon descendant recalled. "Known by many as the 'Father of Toxicology'. What does he have to do with that sword?"

"It was debated from time to time, with some sources saying it was a cane." I held up the sword. "Regardless, he created this blade with a philosopher's stone on the end using a special elixir composed of the five elements. It's hard to explain, but it's basically able to act in a similar manner to a quantum computer, analyzing and responding to an opponent's magical properties by encroaching on and making them its own. It's basically a form of neutralization via power snatching."

"A surprising amount of complexity from such a simple-looking weapon." Arthur mused aloud. "It would seem the power of our blades will not be the deciding factor of this contest, but our skill with them." He took a fighting stance.

I assumed my own stance, summoning Spartacus' gladius to my other hand. It wasn't particularly special or anything, but it was similar in length to the sword I was using now, allowing for better balance with my preferred style. Arthur would probably not use his sword's ability again, but I figured it best to keep the blade I had out just in case he changed his mind on that front. Either way, it was time for our battle to resume and after a moment, we ran towards each other with our blades bared.

"STOP!" A sudden cry drew our attention as a blond-haired girl landed in between us. Embarrassingly, the two of us stumbled and did our best not to faceplant.

"Le Fay!" Arthur's tone was uncharacteristically flustered for some reason. "What are you doing here? I told you to reinforce our attacking troops!"

"And I'd still be there if you hadn't gotten cut open!" The one known as Le Fay pointed an accusing finger at the swordsman. I noticed then she was balancing on a floating broomstick. In fact, her large, pointed blue hat and blue cape with pink flowers lent to her image as a witch on a broomstick. What contrasted to that was the fact she was wearing a light gray school uniform with a long-sleeved sweater, a blue skirt, short black socks and black shoes.

"Wounds like this are nothing to a true swordsman." The Pendragon descendant adjusted his glasses in annoyance. "Now please leave so that we may continue."

"Not until you let me close that up." Le Fay pouted. "When was the last time a swordsman managed to land even a single hit on you?"

"Hey, um, sorry to interrupt." I held up a hand to get their attention. "But who are you?"

"Oh, where are my manners?" She floated up a few feet and bowed. "I am Le Fay Pendragon, magical prodigy and sister to the great Arthur Pendragon!"

"She's your sister?" I quirked an eyebrow. I could admit there was a resemblance but their demeanors were completely different.

"She is." Arthur confirmed while Le Fay went to work applying magic to his wound. "I'm terribly sorry about her, she's a bit overprotective." He yelped. "Ow! are you using the forbidden magics to heal that?!"

"What? You'll have a neat scar, Mr. Swordsman." Le Fay looked up innocently. "And it's not like Vali will get mad at me for using forbidden magic."

"It's forbidden for a reason." The swordsman pointed out. "Need I remind you what happened last time you experimented with that magic on me?"

"Yeah, you broke it down on the dance floor." The sorceress giggled. "Though I'll admit it got a little out of hand when you stole Bikou's headpiece and started running around declaring 'I'm the king of the Britons and the monkeys! Thus I now have double the authority over those annoying hacks in Parliament!'"

I couldn't help it, I snorted at that. Just picturing the gentlemanly swordsman running around yelling stuff like that was, well, comical.

"You see what I have to deal with?" Arthur sighed in my direction.

"Believe me, I get it." I shook my head, an amused smile still on my face. "I'm a big brother too."

As if the universe decided it needed to emphasize that, a seeming explosion went off near the camp Asia was at. I turned and my eyes widened, not just because I was concerned about the camp, but because a force of absolute chaos had been unleashed onto the battlefield.

It was a hydra, and not just any hydra. "Forward Wigglebutt!" Asia called from atop one of her familiar's heads. "Make them suffer!"

"Oh no." My amusement turned to terror. "She brought that thing here?"

It was happening before my eyes, the vision I'd had when she first named that monster. Numerous soldiers, on both sides, were falling to the might of the hydra. Years to even centuries from now people would look back on this battle and mark the moment that Peanut Wigglebutt had entered.

There was probably going to be a special cemetery after this, dedicated to all those who fell to the Wigglebutt, if not a damn monument.

"Ahahahaha!" Illya, in her magical girl outfit, suddenly appeared next to me. "I thought I sensed another little sister nearby, but I won't be upstaged by you!"

"Illya, what are you doing here?!" I asked in genuine horror as the world seemed to devolve into further madness by the second in front of my eyes. "I told you to stay back at the camp or near Karasuba when she's not fighting!"

"It's fine." My sister assured me with a mischievous smirk. "I won't be beaten by this witch wannabe."

"Excuse me?" Le Fay hopped off her broom. "You think you can take me? You look like you still need help changing your diapers."

"And you look like Harry Potter the anime." Illya shot back.

"Oh wow, falling back on the Harry Potter insults already. You couldn't magic up something actually creative? Or pants?"

"This was a custom-made gift from a senior magical girl! At least mine isn't a generic half-assed homemade cosplay!"

"Homemade?! This shit's authentic, you airheaded pixie!"

"Poser!"

"Panty-flasher!"

"Career Fangirl!"

"Gasp! You take that back!"

Le Fay and Illya glared at each other with electricity sparking between them. Meanwhile, I could only credit this phenomenon to one thing: the Will of Serafall. Because as I looked around, seeing two magical girl sisters arguing and my Bishop's inappropriately named hydra causing absolute chaos on the battlefield, I knew my King would find this whole thing absolutely hilarious.

"I thought you were overreacting with your "Oh no", but you weren't kidding." Arthur held out a flask to me. "I usually drink tea to calm my nerves, but occasionally I need something a bit stronger."

"Thanks." I accepted the flask without hesitation and took a swig. I held back a cough as the taste of high-proof rum smashed me in the face. "That's some surprisingly strong stuff you got here."

"It goes well with tea and coffee. I've needed a little extra kick ever since the Loli Dragon of Infinity started actively hanging around us." The Pendragon Descendant explained shamelessly. "don't worry about drinking all of it, I brought another."

"Thanks." I sighed. "I'll be honest: I was ready for war, but this?" I indicated the chaos being caused by our sisters and my Bishop. "I'm too sober for this."

Are you wondering what the shit just happened? SO AM I! But being serious here for a moment I hope you found this chapter to be worth the wait. As always leave a comment or review about what you liked/disliked or if you've got any neat ideas for future chapters! And stop in next time as we see how the battle is going for the rest of the peerages. 'Til then.