Chapter 15
Mer, what the ACTUAL F# !?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Shonda Rhimes (I hope I'm not mistaken)
Background: Starts from the beginning of season 1 with their first meeting at the bar. AU from there. Derek is looking for a fresh start, one-night stands and mostly- oblivion from his carefully built life back home. Meredith is a virgin but still hotheaded and stubborn to no end. When her one-night-stand attempt ends up her boss, she's mortified. Still, not as mortified as overhearing him talk to another attending asking him is she was frigid and Derek agreeing with him. Now he's determined to forget about her, and she will do anything to prove his words wrong. None of them expected to fall for each other in the process.
Most of the regular characters will be there, though I may give them slightly different stories. Christina is with Owen from the start, I was never much into Burke. Lots of drama because writing is my way to vent.
Note: Thank you all for the comments, it's nice knowing someone out there is reading it. More coming soon!
1.
When Meredith and Christina reached Mer's house, the lights were on, and there was chattering coming in from the inside. Meredith had purposefully made sure she'd been the last to go change in the changing room. Christina had made sure she was there. None of them talked while they changed or on the way back, but Christina hadn't left her side since the surgery had (successfully) ended.
Meredith was trying to figure out what to tell her great new best friend to get her to leave her for the evening.
She couldn't come up with anything that sounded reasonable. Her brain felt like it had stopped working and was filled with cotton. She was completely useless to anyone until she knew what she was going to do from now on. Ben was ...disgusting to her but tolerable. But then in 2 days... She felt like if she thought about it she'd have a brain aneurysm. Her stomach was heaving uselessly since she hadn't touched any food after lunch.
'Hey! Mer get over here, we're watching you mom's surgeries again!' called out George, pointing at the screen.
Next to it was a box with old video tapes. George, Izzy, Alex, and Ben were sitting on the couch and on the ground, with beer and snacks like they were watching a movie.
'Yeah, Merri, get over here! Just like old times but with surgeries instead of movies!'
They LIKED him. Of course, they liked him. He'd be great company for Alex who wasn't clicking with George so much, charming to Izzi, and ...Her stomach turned again. Her mom was doing surgeries on the screen. Boxes of her stuff were scattered open around the room. They were eating, chatting, and laughing, and something in her snapped.
'These. ARE. MY. MOTHER's. THINGS.' She screamed, her eyes burning from holding the tears as she ripped the tape out of the VCR and threw it at the wall behind them. The tape broke and fell. 'YOU. CAN"T JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH MY MOTHER'S STUFF!'
Her friends were looking at her like she'd just grown another head. She'd let them watch the tapes every night for the last weeks. But before they had said anything, Ben laughed. 'Impressive. You've gotten wilder since we knew each other haven't you?'
'GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! All of you!' Another tape flew in their direction and Alex ducked to avoid it. 'OUT. OF. MY. HOUSE!'
She screamed with all her power and ran upstairs.
2.
There were a few moments of quiet, while everyone was trying to comprehend what just happened and what had to be done next. Christina made use of that lull.
'Okay guys, you heard her, everybody OUT! Now!' She said, with enough authority so they knew she wasn't joking.
They started getting up automatically but exchanged confused looks. 'Christina, we live here.' mentioned Izzy, exchanging a look with George.
'Alex, Izzy is staying at your place tonight. Treat her well or I will kill you.' Offered Christina, and Alex nodded, trying to hide his smile at the turn of events.
'George, this is my address and keys. It's close to the hospital and you can stay tonight. Change anything and I will kill you.' She meant it, too.
Her eyes narrowed on Ben who looked at her expectantly as if it was his turn to get his orders. 'You- I just met today, and I assume you have where to sleep, though frankly, I don't really care. Get out.'
Ben looked at Alex to see if she was joking. Alex shrugged with a 'trust me, don't mess with her' kind of way. 'Fine, I'm out. For now. Bye Merri!'
He yelled towards the stairs on his way out with a smirk on his face that Christina didn't like. There was a thud upstairs, and then another. Christina waited until they were all out, and closed the door with the key and then the chain. And then she headed upstairs.
2.
The thuds were coming from the room Meredith was using as a small office/medical library. The only room she hadn't rented out and she used to study, do paperwork and read medical books. All of her mom's medical journals and books were there too. Now Meredith was picking random medical textbooks and throwing them at the wall, and ripping pages in the process in a blind - something. A book flew her way, and Christina successfully avoided it. The huge hardcover old textbook hit the wall and scattered over the rest of the mess on the ground.
'Mer, What the ACTUAL F#$K?! STOP! Do you know how much all these cost, what the F$#K?'
Christina pulled the next 'victim' of her friend's rage out of her hands. Only now did Meredith even look at her.
'I don't fu**king need them anymore!'
'Oh, we're giving up then? What will you do? Work at Walmart? Be a real estate agent? Bank teller?' the sarcasm in her voice was chilling.
'What does it matter, I'm not going back!'
'Why? Cause of the snobby dude? The great Meredith Grey will go down over a guy, is that what we're saying?'
'What do YOU CARE?' Screamed Meredith. 'More space for you, right?'
'You're my person.' Shrugged Christina calmly. ' You were there for my abortion. I said I'll be here tonight. I'm here.'
'Don't BOTHER. You don't f**king owe me, alright, you can go.'
Christina shrugged in supposed stubbornness under which there was care. 'Not going. I'm here tonight whether you like it or not.'
Helpless, Meredith looked around, and before she can grab another book, Christina handed her the crystal vase off the desk. Meredith stared at it. 'Have you lost your mind?'
Chris shrugged. 'Less expensive if you plan on breaking more stuff. Will get you another one.'
'Arghhhh!' Meredith didn't want to prove her right but it was beyond her and she threw the vase on the wall. Water, crystal and roses spilled everywhere and her whole body shook from the adrenaline. She was afraid she'd start crying but her friend was driving her insane. Christina calmly put the mug from the desk in her hand for the next smash, and sat down on the desk, browsing one of the medical journals.
'What the fu** Chris?'
'Waiting for you till you're done breaking sh*t so we can talk.' said Christina calmly.'Oh yeah, also waiting on the pizzas I ordered for us-'
Meredith opened her mouth, embarrassment rising in a red wave through her face. Yang calmly raised a hand to stop her. 'Don't start with the salads bullsh** until you have told me what's going on. Ordered your favorite, pepperoni, a little spicy, way too much tomato sauce, peppers, olives, extra cheese.'
All the energy drained out of her and she sat on the ground with her back leaning on the shelf, and the mug slipped out of her hand and rolled away. She pulled her knees close to her body and stilled down. Christina left the journal on the desk and sat next to her friend calmly.
'Talk.'
3.
Meredith's mind was blank. What was there to say? It was over. She'd worked for years to build a future away from them, away from the gossip and her high school reputation. Turns out the skeletons in your closet never really went away, just waited until you thought you were safe to haunt you. Her future was done, that one word Ben had said had confirmed it. One word and it was over. All that hard work, she thought. What a waste.
She shrugged. Christina offered her the bottle of tequila she'd seen on the desk. Mer took and huge sip and coughed. Chris took a sip too.
'Talk!'
Mer shook her head, burying her face in her knees. The bell saved her, although she almost jumped out of her skin. Christina kept her composure. 'It's just the food. I'll be back in a moment.'
When she was back, Meredith hadn't moved. Christina paced, starting to get annoyed. 'Okay, what the f- could he have done that you can't work together? You gotta give me something, or else I'll imagine the worst-'
Mer shook her head negatively again. 'There's nothing to say. It's just over.' Christina's sarcasm overtook her. She shrugged in pretending to understand.
'Okay, fine. You're telling me, what? All your medical education, studying, and surgeries, all down the drain, for what? A GUY?'
Meredith shrugged. 'So what, you guys had a bad break up, he cheated? You cheated? He cheated in a threesome?' Her friend visibly flinched at the word. 'Is that it, the threesome.'
'Shut-the-hell-up!'
'Okay, we're getting warmer. Spit it out before I imagine anything worse. You're not dead and short of committing a murder yourself there are few things I can imagine that can get this reaction.'
'Imagining might be better.' muttered Mer and took another sip of tequila.
'Since when does the competitive Meredith Grey give up over a guy? What could have he possibly done? Did he hit you, abuse you, rape you?'
Christina was pacing, not realizing that Meredith was shaking. 'He didn't.'
'OKay, fine, so what the F-' Chris' eyes finally got to Meredith, who was shuddering so hard the bottle was starting to slip out of her hand. She kneeled in front of her quietly. 'Mer?' her voice was soft suddenly, but her friend's eyes were glazing over her. 'Tell me that motherf**ker didn't r-'
'He didn't. He just didn't believe me.'
Christina's brows furrowed in confusion. 'I don't understand.'
'Liam' spat out Meredith, and almost jumped when Christina tried to touch her knee. Christina put her hands up to calm her.
'Okay? Wait, the guy that is coming in a couple of days? The one you're all friends with?'
'He's not a friend.' Hissed Meredith like it was poison, and the tears slid out of her red-rimmed eyes.
'Did he...'
'He didn't- succeed. I'm still a virgin. But he tried- not- not- Sh*t. F**K.'
Mer put to hands over her mouth. Christina looked at her like she'd grown 2 heads as well, for multiple reasons this time. Mer hated that look, out of Christina of all people.
'But you and Derek.'
Mer tugged her knees closer and looked away. 'I panic. Every. Effin'. Time.'
'He knows?'
'Mhm. Had to.'
Christina took a deep sip out of the tequila she'd taken from her friend. 'So this Liam guy' She had to ignore the fact that Mer flinched at his name. Someone had to be calm. 'He tried to rape you? But you got out?'
'Not in that way, not the regular-'
'What other way is-' started Christina, and then understood. 'THAT MOTHERFUCKER! He tried to-'
'Don't.' Mer managed. 'Please.'
'You got out?'
'At some point. It's all... I don't... it's all pieces...'
Christina sat in front of her, and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She wasn't a hugger. This was the exception, but Mer didn't seem like she'd let her touch her. 'Anything else I need to know before I KILL that motherf-'
Mer shook and said something so quietly, her friend wasn't sure she heard right. She was looking at her feet, her face red, wet from the tears. Her whole body was shaking. Chris touched her knee and refused to move, not pressing, but with calm aura she forced herself to keep so that Meredith would look at her. 'What did you just say?'
'And his friend.' whispered Meredith hoarsely again, wishing the ground would swallow her.
'Ben?'
Meredith shook her hand negatively. Chris tried to digest. 'MOTHERFU**ER. Mer-'
'D-don't, please don't, please don't please, I tried to get away I swear to you I didn't want, I didn't, I was drunk and I was flirting and I was stupid but I didn't- I didn't'
'Meredith.' She finally looked straight at Christina, whose look was unusually soft. 'I didn't think that for a second. You didn't ask for this.'
Meredith crumbled, sobbing at the unexpected kindness and understanding no one had shown her all her last hellish years in high school. Christina didn't hug her, but stood with her hand steady on her knee, and didn't move from her position until Meredith seemed to slow down.
4.
'Okay. We're going to get up now, you're going to have a nice hot bath and then we'll eat something and drink and watch a movie, okay?'
Meredith didn't have the strength to argue. She let her friend pull her into a standing position, and lead her to the bathroom, while her feet felt like lead, numb, and refusing to follow. She sat dumbfounded on the toilet seat cover, while Christina filled the bathtub and let her friend undress her like a kid, only moving her hands or feet when needed. Christina's eyes narrowed just below the line where her underwear had been, on the random cuts and scars on her front and back. Always under the lines where bra or undies or swimsuit would be. Unnoticeable, most of the time. Mer was exhausted.
'It's fine...'
'Like hell it is. We're getting you to a therapist. Right after we kill that-'
Meredith sighed and Christina understood. 'Okay. Feet in the water Mer. One at a time.' She helped her friend, who sat in the bathtub and immediately hugged her knees again. Christina sat on the edge and slowly washed her back with a sponge, bringing more hot water over it gently. Meredith didn't move much and let the water wash over her. She wished for the ground to swallow her and wash this whole nightmare of a day with it.