Hey everyone!
I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter I got quite a few and honestly, it was so heartwarming to hear all the lovely things you had to say! So thank you so much the support is always welcome 3
I wrote this chapter quite quickly and I had to post it because I'm very excited about this chapter. This story is not going to be that long. I think probably less than 15 chapters overall for anyone who was wondering.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter I worked really hard on it!
Let me know what you think!
Much love 3
Hermione's Point of View
I want to say that the conversation between us last night didn't change anything. But that would be a lie. I feel the weight of it in my chest now more than ever. It's heavy and seems to pull down on my ribs. I think of Harry and Ron and what they would say if they found out that we were even talking to one another. I think of all the moments Harry, Ron and I have shared together and all the times they have been there for me in the past. How small I am making those cherished moments by meeting with Malfoy behind their backs.
What does it say about me as a person that I'm willing to keep this a secret from Harry? A secret that involves someone that he truly believes is against us and our cause. I can empathise Harry's point of view but I am not as easy to believe that Malfoy is what Harry believes him to be. A bad child does not always grow into a bad man. But then again neither does a good child.
I try to imagine a situation where I tell Harry or Ron what's been going on but it seems more like fiction than fact. To actually imagine me arguing on Malfoy's side when he has never done anything to prove to them that he is who I think he is. It would be a lost cause, a waste of breath I could imagine Harry saying. We are so very similar - the three of us- and I can understand that's why we're such good friends but we all see the world differently now that we've grown. We each see a different shade of it and I worry sometimes that the shades are far too different now.
"Are you okay, Hermione?" Ginny asks setting the butterbeer down on the table. The crowd in the pub is insane right now with this trip to Hogesmeade's also being the third years first visit.
"Please don't tell me we were that annoying in third year?" Ginny asks eyeing them trying to get served at the bar. Madam Rosemerta is clearly out of her depth with the number of people currently in the pub. I laugh loudly and ginny follows suit.
"I think we might have been worse," I admit sheepishly to which Ginny cringes.
"I think you're right," she admits putting her head in her hands. She swipes her hair back into a high ponytail and sips on her butterbeer, leaving a foam moustache as she drops the glass back down. I slip back into my daze and Ginny immediately notices. I've been too distracted all day to remember to act a certain way around people.
"Hermione," Ginny calls. "Tell me what's on your mind," she says soothingly, leaning in close to be heard over the chaos in the bar.
In a way, I want to tell her about it. To finally be able to talk properly about it with someone so the thoughts in my head have an actual outlet. To be free of the burden of not knowing what to do all of the time.
"Is it about Ron?" she says quietly to me. But I doubt anyone is going to hear anything in this chaos.
"No Ginny it's not about Ron," I admit. Ginny's face twists a little and I see a hint of sadness there. The same one I saw on Ron's face the other night. I sigh because I know that's what she wanted to hear, that I was thinking about Ron in that way but I can't tell her that because it wouldn't be true. Not anymore at least, not since all of this started. The heat flushes to my cheeks because I don't often allow that thought to the forefront of my mind.
"But it is about a guy?" Ginny asks, noticing how red my cheeks have gone. I wish deeply that I wasn't easily read sometimes. It would be so much easier to lie that way.
I turn and look at her light green eyes looking so trustingly into mine. She doesn't look upset anymore. Maybe it's the buzz of the room or something in the butterbeer that causes me to nod slowly in response. Ginny looks as shocked as I am by my honesty. She leans back clearly unsure what to do with herself and the direction the conversation is going. But she turns and smiles reassuringly back at me.
"Do you want me to pretend?" she starts and I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion.
"Pretend?" I swallow nervously. She fingers the hair by my ear and tucks it behind with a motherly touch.
"That I don't know who he is," she answers. I look at her knowing eyes and I can tell she does know it's Malfoy. I am glad to see they are not judgemental nor angry and something in that sentiment tells me that I should be more trusting of Ginny.
I nod embarrassingly back at her. Ginny smiles anxiously at me as the air around us becomes a little heated. Having admitted it -without actually admitting it- makes my skin crawl and blood boil. I want to grab the words from the air one by one, pluck them from her thoughts and claim them back as my own before this escalates. But I know it's only fear talking. I can't continue holding everything in or I might snap and then I would really have to explain what was going on. At least here I can do it on my own terms, in a public place where Ginny can't really cause a scene. I hope.
"Okay," Ginny says. "So talk," she starts. I chose this moment to take a deep chug of my butterbeer and Ginny laughs lightening the mood considerably.
"Has something happened between the two of you?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.
"No, it's nothing like that."
"Then how do you know that things aren't the same as they've always been?" she asks.
"I can just feel that things are different between us now," I admit sheepishly. Ginny acknowledges this taking another swing of her own drink. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Do you want things to be different between the two of you?" she asks.
"I'm not really sure," I admit honestly.
"You know how Harry feels about him," she says seriously. I nod curtly. Of course, I know how Harry feels. He talked about it non-stop on the train here. Back then I was happy to watch the scenery pass us by and nod at the appropriate times because Harry was in one of his moods and Ron and I knew to just let him rant until it was over. Things are different now.
"And you think he notices this change too?"
"I think so," I say.
"How can you tell?" she asks confused. "I've never thought of him as a person to really show any sort of emotions," Ginny laughs further proving to me that we are in fact talking about the same person. I laugh uneasily.
"It was something he said last night," I confess.
"Last night!" Ginny shouts. I grab her hands away from cupping her mouth as a few nosey heads turn our way.
"Keep your voice down Ginny I don't want the whole school to know," I warn her. She apologises profusely.
"You were with him last night? Where? How?" Ginny asks her voice falling over itself to get the questions out. I encourage her to calm down as I take a sip of my drink. She copies me but I can see the questions behind her excited eyes.
"I was helping Professor McGonagal like I usually do on Tuesday and Thursdays after my Prefect rounds and he has a habit of showing up sometimes," I admit watching her process this information. Her eyes growing bigger with each word.
"He shows up!" Ginny exclaims. "As in he seeks you out? Oh, this is worse than I thought," Ginny says hiding a smile behind her glass.
"Ginny please, try and contain yourself," I beg unable to stop the constant flow of blood to my cheeks.
"I'm sorry Hermione I just never in a million years would have thought that you and he could possibly-"
"Look I never said anything happened," I interject.
"Yet," Ginny adds under her breath. I scowl at her but she smiles playfully back at me. Her face suddenly turns a shade darker.
"Do you not still think he might be the same underneath? That he could just be pretending?" Ginny asks as I knew she would.
"I did but he has done enough now that I believe that he isn't trying to hurt me," I say.
"I think maybe we have an understanding now," I add. Ginny's face turns a little red in return.
"What are you thinking about now?" I ask, unsure if I really want to know.
"You know how I feel about him," she starts and I beckon for her to continue.
"But God damn Hermione, he is handsome," she says breaking out into laughter. I flush deeper than I thought possible.
"Ginny!" I scowl, covering my mouth.
"Come on don't tell me you don't agree," she pushes.
"No! We are not talking about that," I warn her.
"Come on I just want to hear you say it," she says prodding at my side. I burst into laughter with her. When I'm out of breath I finish off the last of my beer and smile at her.
A loud, rattling door cuts through the noise of the pub as Malfoy walks out of the bathrooms. Through the hustle of bodies, I see his pale skin stand out against the reddish light of the candles. He looks out of place in contrast to the excitement palpable from the third years crowding the bar. Like a lost child in a shopping centre. His eyes search the room before finding mine. The jubilance of the third years is no longer the only palpable feeling in the air. I watch him intently, noticing how different his face looks. He looks concentrated as he breaks eye contact and leaves the pub.
"Oh my God," Ginny says astonished beside me. She turns to me eagerly.
"What?" I ask, concerned.
"You're serious aren't you?" she asks incredibly. I avert my eyes.
"What you thought I'd just make it up?" I ask a little hurt.
"No of course not. But I guess I didn't one hundred per cent believe you until this moment. Until I saw the way he just looked at you," Ginny gushes.
"That was intense," she adds. I stare at the door he just left through and wonder what he's even doing here. I don't remember seeing his name on the sheet of students who would be leaving the castle today.
"He can be that way sometimes," I say. Ginny shakes her head in disbelief.
"How can this thing between the two of you even work?" Ginny asks seriously.
"Work? Look I'm not saying anything like that Ginny. I am just saying that things are different between us now is all. I'm not saying anything is suddenly going to change. He is still the Slytherin King and I am still just me. I haven't even thought about it like that," I ramble trying to calm Ginny's racing mind.
"His father Hermione-"
"Ginny please," I warn. Ginny raises her hands in defence.
"Okay! Okay, I'm sorry," Ginny apologises. I grab my stuff from the table.
"Come on, let's go get the boys," I say, grabbing my jacket.
Ginny gathers her stuff as we make our way out the door. Katie Bell pushes past us slamming the door against the wall as the winter air assaults us.
"What's her deal?" Ginny asks taking my gloves from her pocket. She hands them to me and I slip them on trying to rub the warmth back into my fingertips.
"Must be in a hurry," I comment.
"Train back doesn't leave for another thirty minutes," Ginny says.
Outside Ginny waves to Harry and Ron who make their way over to us.
"Are you going to tell them?" Ginny whispers into my scarf. I glare at her as Ron and Harry arrive.
"What were ye guys up too?" Ron asks throwing his arm over Ginny's shoulders.
"Just at the three broomsticks having a butterbeer. Where did you two go?"
"We just went to Ceridwen's because Ron had to get a new cauldron," Harry says pointing to the plastic bag Ron carries.
"Again?" Ginny notes. Ron squeezes his arm around her neck and her face disappears into her scarf as she bats his arm away.
"I misplaced my last one," Ron says innocently.
"Hmm," Harry notes. I link my arm through Harry's as we make our way up the steep and slippery hill. Ron slips several times using the stone wall as a makeshift crutch most of the way aided by Ginny pushing him.
I hear the sound of a small shout slice it's way through the winter air. When I look up towards the top of the hill I see Katie Bell arguing with her friend Leanne. I walk a few steps ahead of the group.
"What do you suppose they're fighting about?" Harry calls to me.
"Maybe it's about a boy or something," Ginny adds pulling Ron along.
All of a sudden Leanne grabs a box out of Katie's hand and she counters. Leanne's hand grips the edge of the box but slips and with the force, Katie drops the box. It hits the snow and bursts open, throwing out an old-fashioned necklace onto the snow. It slides down the hill in front of me with some parchment paper on top. I pull on the wrist of my gloves to sink my fingers further into the glove finger holes as I pick up the necklace for Katie.
There is a scream in the distance somewhere as I feel the snow envelop me, turning everything white.
Three weeks later.
I wake to a crystal white light coming in the slanted windows of the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey's hand rests on top of my forehead and I can hear the sound of her soothing voice speaking to someone in the background I can't yet see. I want to wake up and raise my hand or speak but I can't right away. Slowly as if my body is stuck in cement each part begins to break free, waking up.
When I speak it isn't words but more of a croaking sound, like that of an owl. A second weight joins the bed and some darkness blocks out the light from the window.
"Hermione," the voice calls.
"It's me, Ginny! Can you open your eyes?" Ginny asks. I don't exactly know what she means at first but then I feel a finger on my eyelids pulling them up slightly followed by a smacking noise.
"Don't do that. She has to wake up on her own dear," Madame Pomfrey chastises Ginny.
"I want to talk to my friend," Ginny argues. "She's been waking up on and off for two days now. I'm just trying to help her," Ginny defends herself. Have I? This is the only memory I have of waking up in the infirmary. When I groan again Madam Pomfrey steps up from the bed.
"I'll go and get something for her throat. I imagine the poor thing is as dry as anything," she says. When I hear her footsteps leave the room Ginny leans in close.
"Please wake up Hermione I can't stand being alone with Pomfrey anymore," Ginny begs. I force my eyes open and the light blinds me. Ginny takes out her wand and mutters a spell filtering the light coming into the room.
"Thank you," I manage to croak out. I smell Ginny's hair as she throws herself down on top of me, knocking the wind out of me.
"Oh, Hermione I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried," Ginny gushes.
"What's going on?" I ask, trying to sit up in the bed but my arms feel too weak to push myself into an upright position. Ginny notices and slips her arms under mine and helps me up. The second I move my head starts spinning.
"Do you remember anything that happened?" Ginny asks.
"I remember being at Hogesmead with you," I answer and Ginny smiles.
"That's good. That's where we were when it happened," Ginny tells me.
"When what happened?"
"You touched the necklace that Katie Bell had. Do you remember that?" she asks. I think back but it's incredibly blurry but I remember the coldness of that day and the steep hill back to the train station.
"Vaguely," I blush.
"That's okay. Madame Pomfrey said you might experience some memory loss," Ginny says.
"How long have I been here?" I ask.
"Just over three weeks," Ginny says, searching my face worriedly.
"Three weeks!" I exclaim but the loudness of my own voice causes waves of pain to roll through my head. I groan loudly and Ginny hands me a glass of water from the side of the bed. It tastes really stale.
"What happened?" I ask desperately when Ginny takes the glass back from me. She turns her attention towards the door as she looks for Madam Pomfrey. She leans in close to me.
"Hermione so much has happened while you were unwell. The necklace you touched was bewitched and you could have died. It was a miracle you didn't. The only reason you're okay right now is that you didn't touch it with your bare skin. You had gloves on. Do you remember touching it?"
I shake my head. I don't really remember the necklace that well. The more I think of it the more I remember noticing the contrast between Katie Bells dark hair and the snow.
"Where are Harry and Ron?" I ask, worried.
"They're fine they were here actually, only an hour ago but they had to go. There is a match against Ravenclaw today but I wouldn't bet on them winning. Everyone has been in such a horrible mood while you've been gone," Ginny admits sadly.
"Ginny, why was the necklace bewitched? What was Katie Bell doing with a necklace like that?" I ask confused. A small part of me is starting to think that I might still be unconscious and this could all just be a dream. Ginny eyes the door again nervously.
"She was under the Imperius Curse," Ginny whispers.
"What?" I ask, sceptical. "That doesn't make any sense Ginny," I add.
"That's not the worse part," Ginny mentions. I rub my hand over my forehead and reach across for the glass of water again. Ginny hands it to me as she continues.
"There was a pretty serious meeting about it. Harry was there," Ginny confesses.
"Why was Harry there? Did he touch the necklace too or something?" I ask, unsure.
"No but he thinks he knows who cursed Katie Bell," Ginny says and something in the sound of her voice makes my head spin even more.
"Ginny," I warn.
"I'm sorry Hermione but you know how Harry is about Malfoy. He's convinced that he's a Death Eater now. I was there when he said it to Professor McGonagall and it was brutal."
"Harry accused him of being a Death Eater and cursing Katie Bell in front of Professor McGonagall?" I question horrified.
"And Dumbledore and Snape," Ginny adds embarrassed.
Madam Pomfrey comes back into the room but a second year on the bed closest to the door calls to her. She assures me she'll be back to me in just a moment. Ginny turns back to me.
"Look Hermione I was there for it all and it's not looking good for Malfoy," Ginny rushes before Madam Pomfrey can come back.
"What do you mean, Ginny? He's not a death eater!" I warn. Ginny tilts her head at me as her eyes turn sombre.
"Hermione I'm sorry. You know I love you dearly but-"
"But nothing," I argue.
"Hermione we saw him at the three broomsticks. He came out of the bathroom and that's where Katie Bell said she found the necklace." Ginny informs me.
"Did you tell Harry that?" I ask.
"No," she replies. "I didn't tell anyone what we saw."
"But Hermione I can't pretend like that isn't damming evidence," Ginny says.
I weigh this information up in my head and I can't be angry at her because the evidence is quite damming. I brush my greasy fringe off my forehead as the sweat breaks out on my back.
"It's damming evidence Hermione but it's not concrete," Ginny starts. "I got something for you," she says handing me a small piece of parchment folded over twice. I open it and read a small spell of the parchment.
"What's this?" I ask confused by it.
"I went to the forbidden section of the library and I found this spell that breaks dark magic glamour charms. It took me a long time to find it but I assumed-"
"You assumed if Malfoy did have the mark that this spell would break the charm hiding it?" I finish for her.
"You're the only person who can get close enough to him to actually use it and see if he is hiding the dark mark," Ginny states.
I look up at her eager face and a wave of nausea rolls over me.
"Ginny I really don't think he has it," I argue.
"You've never been the kind of girl who settled for maybe, Hermione. Don't you want to know for sure?" she asks.
"And what then?" I ask incredulously. "What do I do if it is there?" I say running my hands through my roots, pulling at the hair in clumps. She puts a reassuring hand on my back and moves it in soothing circles. Ginny's face scrunches up in thought.
"I guess you'll finally know for sure what kind of person he truly is."
"Madam Pomfrey isn't going to realise you for a few more days so you have some time to think about it," Ginny says as Madam Pomfrey makes her way back over to my bed.
"Now that's enough talking for today Miss Weasley. Please run along back to your class while Miss Granger here recovers." Madam Pomfrey excuses Ginny as she picks up her bag reluctantly and leaves the infirmary with a sad wave over her shoulder at me. I smile as best I can.
It's the following Thursday before Madam Pomfrey finally lets me leave the infirmary. I suppose it's not all too terrible because most of the Gryffindor common room decide to congregate around my bed when school finishes most days. But the constant potions and ointments are a part of it I won't miss. Madam Pomfrey had said that the necklace destroyed a lot of nerves in my right arm and they had to be restored before I was fit enough to leave or use it efficiently again. By the fifth bubbling potion, I was ready to lose the arm for good though.
Ginny picks up my bag from the press and opens it, shoving in my books that I've used to catch up on the assignments I've missed over the last three weeks. I wrap a warm scarf around my neck that Harry and Ron got me in Hogesmead for Christmas. I thank Ginny as she carries my stuff out the door for me. I thank Madam Pomfrey out of politeness because I'm still a little sour over the whole having to drink horrible potions situation. Perhaps some time apart will strengthen our relationship back to its former state.
"How are you feeling?" Ginny asks as we make our way through the empty hallways. It's late, almost ten pm and the early January light still disappears far too quickly.
"A little light-headed," I admit. "Like I'm floating through the hallways," I say. Ginny laughs nervously sliding her arm through mine.
"Okay then I'll make sure to hold onto you tight," Ginny giggles. I squeeze my arm in hers resting a little weight on her. We walk in silence down the hallway for a minute.
"Have you thought about what I said?" She asks. I bite the corner of my lip and nod.
"And?"
"I will do it," I admit sadly.
Weighing it over in my head the last few days have been torturous. I know what Ginny has told me is the truth and that it makes sense but it's hard to imagine the boy I verbally spar with sometimes could be capable of bewitching Katie Bell and using one of the forbidden curses. It's just too much, too different shades of the same person where one is black and the other is white. But I know Ginny is right. I cannot stay in the grey area and just assume the best when the evidence against him is mounting. I swallow.
"When are you going to see him again?" Ginny asks.
"What day is it?" I ask.
"Thursday."
"I'm going to go now," I announce, taking my bag from her shoulder.
"Woah- Hermione. I don't think that's such a good idea," Ginny warns. "You're still very weak from all the potions," Ginny reminds me. I brush off her concern turning to face her. I purse my lips together.
"I have to know, Ginny. I need to know if I've just been making a huge fool of myself," I admit. Ginny seems to accept this explanation reluctantly.
"I understand that but maybe wait until tomorrow or something at least. Harry and Ron are waiting in the common room for you," Ginny face turns red as she rubs at her cheeks nervously.
"They kind of have a welcome back get together planned," Ginny confesses. I blush with her unsure of how to process this.
"Oh," I say.
"Yeah. They're waiting now and I can't really go in without you."
"I won't be long, Ginny I promise," I assure her.
"Hermione, please. Reconsider this." Ginny pleads. I shake my head at her and I can tell by her facial expression that she's going to let me go.
"I'll be half an hour at most. I promise," I say turning right at the crossroads. Ginny stands in the glow of the moonlight and watches me walk away.
"I'll be there for when-" I know by the tone of her voice that she doesn't expect this conversation to go well. Perhaps the outcome is already pretty obvious given what's just happened but I need to know for certain. I have to be sure that he is who everyone seems to believe him to be.
"-you get back," Ginny adds embarrassed. I smile back at her half-heartedly as I make my way around the corner and towards McGonagall's classroom.
Draco Malfoy's Point of View
I watch as the younger weasel enters the Gryfindor common room alone. I watch after her confused, staring at the painting long after it's closed. I was sure I had overheard in the stands today at the Quiddich match that Granger was getting released from the infirmary today. I turn on my heel and make my way up to the fourth floor.
When I scan the windows into the infirmary I can see all the beds are empty except one by the window where a third-year is lying on their side. Most likely the Ravenclaw who got hit in the head with the bludger today during the match. I wait a few minutes keeping my eye on the room to make sure Granger isn't in the bathroom or anything but no one comes in or out of it. She's not here.
I take off running down the hallway to the interchanging stairs as I make my way down to the bottom floor. It's late and I imagine McGonagall isn't in her classroom and if my suspicions are right Granger should be there. Something about the idea of her being there and going there first before she even went back to the common room excites something inside me.
It's been almost a month since we've spoken and the guilt has torn apart my mind during the course of that time. I wanted to kill Katie Bell for what happened but I know it wasn't exactly her fault either. I know it's mine and that's what kills me. I had warned her away from Weasel for the exact same reason and then I nearly kill her myself. Why hadn't I seen that in her future? Then maybe I could have actually done something about it or warned her not to go to Hogsmeade that day. Actually I had assumed she wouldn't go that day because she usually doesn't bother going to Hogsmeade. I guess my assumption was my mistake. But it wasn't my only and I doubt my last.
I stop outside the door and place my ear close to the keyhole to try and see can I hear any movement inside but it sounds empty. I stand and pull the door open slowly afraid that if she isn't standing there waiting for me then she must know. Maybe she's already figured it out.
When I enter the room Granger is waiting by the back wall staring out the long floor-length windows. Half of the candles in the room are out and it's hard to make out her shape standing all the way at the back shrouded in the darkness.
"Granger?" I call. She turns confirming that it is her but she doesn't move or address me. When I get closer to her I notice she's standing with her arms crossed in front of her. I make my way down to the back of the room and stand beside her, feeling some of the cold wind that has found its way into the room through the cracks in the stone walls. I look over at her but she's still looking out the window. The moonlight illuminates her face and I notice how skinny her face has gotten. In fact her entire frame looks smaller, weaker. She looks incredible frail and breakable. Why the hell did Madam Pomfrey release her when she still looks so sick? But I can't imagine Granger actively wanting to stay in bed and miss school.
"Granger?" I call again but she continues to ignore me. I turn my attention out the window and squeeze my hand into a tight fist. When I first heard what happened I refused to leave the dormitory for an entire day until I realised my actions were being watched. I then had to let my father know that my attempt at the mission had failed and I would have to find another way. He said it hadn't failed entirely as I almost killed the mudblood. I remember staring at the letter for almost two hours by the glow of the fireplace in the common room. Eventually I threw it into the fire.
I look at her now and wonder what would have happened if she had actually died that day in Hogsmeade. What I would have done knowing it was my fault? How I would have had to act around my peers and Master when they congratulated me. How I would have had to smile and act proud to those who knew that it had been me. I push down a wave of nausea. Mostly when I look at her sorrow-filled eyes I wonder is the door still open. Or had I closed it myself that day when the snow was especially heavy.
"Granger, Goddammit! Say something," I demand unable to hear my own thoughts anymore. She turns as if realising I'm here. Her face looks so listless and sunken. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out when she's looking at me like that.
"Are you okay?" I ask, my hand moving out to touch her wrist. She steps away. I let my hand drop back down.
"No," she answers after a beat. She turns back to the window.
"Granger. Say something," I say, more softly this time. She turns back to me again and I almost wish she hadn't because each time she looks at me the direct result of my fuck up is clear in her eyes. I drop my head and run my hand over the back of my neck nervously. When I look at her again she reaches out and takes my wrist from hanging at my side. She rolls up my sleeve to my elbow and looks at my forearm. I look back up at her and watch her exam my arm. Of course she can't see it though. Only those who have it can see it with the charm. I watch as her finger runs over the mark that's only visible to me. A pain starts strong behind my left eye.
"People said a lot of different things to me when I woke up in that infirmary," she starts. "I don't really remember what happened that day with Katie Bell. Madam Pomfrey said it might or might not come back to me over time. But I'm not too sure I want to remember what happened," she admits.
"I remember the pain though," she adds. The blood runs out of my face as I look away.
"I remember the pain that came the first night after I woke up and it felt like my right arm was on fire and I actually thought I would prefer to die," she says.
"When I found out the necklace had been cursed I thought whoever wanted someone to die that way must really be a monster," Granger says dropping my arm. My wrist runs cold as if the blood refuses to flow. She steps closer to me and looks up at me under her heavy eyelashes.
"I'm going to ask you something Malfoy before I prove it. I have a spell here that removes dark magic glamour spells," she informs me. My stomach drops. How could it be possible that she would know a spell like that? How could she have gotten that kind of information in Hogwarts? Unless she had help.
"See my friends think it was you that put Katie Bell under the Imperius curse," she says. I swallow hard.
"And only Death Eaters use the Imperius curse," she confesses, her tone steady and final as she speaks.
"I'm going to ask you a question, Malfoy. It would be in your best interest to answer," she informs me.
I look over her face -so sallow and sunken- in this light and her fragile fingers balled together tightly. Her expression tells me that she already knows the answer and the final moves before Checkmate are already insight for her. I was already losing when I sat down in the chair to play the game in the first place. Even if it was in one of her futures it never was really possible, was it? At this moment I can't imagine how we could ever get to that point by the seaside. Inexplicable.
I try to think of the point where I started to want what I saw in her first future. It kind of crept up on me without my permission or notice until one day it was just there, already rooted at the back of my mind like it had always been there.
"Are you a Death Eater?" she asks, almost a whisper. I think for a moment of what I saw in that first future.
"No," I lie. She eyes me disorderly taking out her wand and pointing it at my arm.
"Can I say something first?" I ask. She untightens her balled fist and nods suspiciously at me.
"Okay," I say. She looks down at the ground and I can tell she's readying herself for whatever excuse I'm going to come up with. But I'm not going to speak because I won't waste this lie.
I step forward quickly and with my index finger I bring her head back up to look at me. I lean down quickly and press my lips to hers. They're dry and slightly cracked but they are warm. Her body stiffens but it doesn't dither me at all. I swipe my hand away from her chin and behind her neck. I tilt her head up more towards me as I mould my lips down on hers again. Her shoulders loosen a little as her mouth falls open. I kiss her more deeply but slowly. Ever so slowly so as not to frighten her. Her mouth is warm and inviting and my pulse darts up to dangerous levels when her lips move slightly against mine. She tastes delicious and almost familiar. I caress her cheek with my thumb as my nose brushes against hers as I switch to the other side. I gently move her body closer to mine as she stumbles a little against me trying to find her footing blindly but I hold her tight, feeling how fragile she seems under all these layers. Her hands ball against my chest as she grabs at my robe. This is all that there is or ever will be between us from now on. This quick moment of our lips moving slowly together, ever so slowly because she too knows that I am lying. She knows that it was my fault she spent almost a month in the infirmary.
I break the kiss and rest my head against her forehead for a second before I push away from her. My face slips into a frown as I stare at the ground, mentally preparing myself. I push up my sleeve again and extend my arm out towards her. She stares at me as water starts to rim her eyes.
"Malfoy-"
"Just do it, Granger," I warn, trying to keep my voice steady. Her eyes are so intense and fierce as she stares at me. I can tell that she doesn't want it to be true. The second before she cast the spell I can feel her determination to change the outcome but it's too late. A yellow haze swirls around my arm and I can tell by her gasp that the spell has worked and she can now see the mark.
She reaches out but I drop my arm to my side, pulling down the sleeve. Her face turns red and I see the muscles in her jaw clench and unclench.
"Why did you lie?" she shouts, anger boiling inside her.
"You've lied to me this entire time!" she screams her body shaking with rage. I look at her torn expression.
"Because I'm a selfish bastard, Granger. You already know that. I wanted to kiss you," I admit. I have nothing left to lose at this point. "I knew that you wouldn't want to after you saw it," I explain. A heat smears across my face as my cheek goes numb. Granger pulls her hand back and cups it against her chest. I raise my hand to my face and press against it. I feel the blood start to pour out of my nose. I hadn't expected her to hit me or be so strong for that matter.
When I look at her she looks slightly abashed for hitting me. She shouldn't. She grabs her bag and coat.
"You are a monster," she shouts. I feel the words sizzling in my chest.
"Do not come here again when I am here. I don't want to speak to you again," she states clearly. She makes her way to the door only to turn in dramatic fashion.
"I never saw you as a coward Malfoy. But this is by far the most cowardly thing you've ever done," she laughs sarcastically at me.
"Granger you don't know what you're talking about," I warn her.
"Oh I don't, don't I? I think it's pretty clear that you chose the easy way out," she shouts back at me.
"Easy?" I scream, on the verge of losing my patience. "You think this is fucking easy for me, Granger? You don't have any fucking clue what you're talking about. I didn't make this choice. It was chosen for me," I yell, kicking one of the chairs against the table. Granger jumps at the noise.
"Cowards always make excuses," she says, wiping at a tear threatening to fall.
"What would you know, Granger? You would crumble in my position without Potter or the weasel to hold your hand along the way. Without some textbook to tell you exactly what you were supposed to do! Without a teacher to praise you along the way and kiss your ass. You don't know what life is really like because you live in this fucking make-believe bubble of there being just good vs bad. Not everything is black or white, Granger. Wake the fuck up!"
When I finish I'm panting and Granger is almost blue in the face.
"Such a waste," she sighs. I watch as she walks out of the classroom and slams the door shut with incredible force, answering the question that was already pretty obvious at this point.