Hey everyone!
So here's the next chapter. Finally, as many of you have asked we're going to get to see from Draco's POV.
So please review and let me know what you think. I'm anxious to hear what you think of the story as a whole so far!
So please drop a review and let me know.
Enjoy!
Much love 3
Hermione's Point of View
One year later.
I am different now.
That is the simplest way I can state it if asked. I am different. I have learned -as many do with time- that age doesn't mean shit. It is time and experiences that truly age and mature us. Some of the things that happened last year feel like decades ago or even lifetimes ago. I was a different person then who spoke, acted and thought differently. I am still me in most aspects; at surface level. But deep down I feel as if the mechanical wheels have slowed down or even sped up to a point that just feels completely new and bizarre. But I adjust because I have too. Endure and survive.
At the start when the three of us set out we had high expectations I guess. It seems silly and immature to look back on now. But we thought that hunting Horcruxes would be somewhat easy with Harry to guide us. But the process became painfully slow and the confined quarters between the three of us led to many heated words and painful arguments. But we didn't dwell on it or even resolve any of the issues. We just move forward because we have no energy for it.
I would say that each one of us is different now in our own ways. Harry is angrier than he used to be and Ron rarely cracks any jokes anymore. I am as silent as ever. Speaking mostly when spoken too. I cannot help it or remember when it started but it is just who I am now. The silence is deafeningly loud. But it is what we have grown accustomed too.
The first few months were the hardest because I couldn't seem to let go of the girl who had loved Draco Malfoy and the girl I had been for seventeen years. But once she was gone it was easier to cope. It felt like that for me anyways but Harry, on the other hand, watched me all of the time and it set me on edge. It led to many arguments between us. He argued that I wasn't talking enough and my issues were clearly manifesting with my sudden weight loss. I argued back but I often didn't have a leg to stand on.
I didn't allow myself to think about him. About what he might be doing out there in the world. Well, I tried. When the thoughts would come I would clean regardless of what time of day it was. I would clean until there was nothing left to clean or I collapsed first. As time has gone on I realise now it wasn't the best coping mechanism and I can't say I've gained back much of the weight I lost but I'm not dropping weight anymore and that's enough to quell Harry's questions and worries. He doesn't watch me half as much anymore.
We are not the kids who entered this war anymore. Now we are these three lost adults because we have to be. It would eat us alive. It was inevitable from day one that we were going to have to adapt or die. Sometimes I don't know which decision was the best one. I don't know how much of us will be left when this is all over. Whether we'll be left at all. Whether the things we said in war will be held up for questioning when this is all over.
We move through a sort of ghost land now. Sometimes it seems as if someone has dropped a bomb on England and just wiped everyone else out except for the three of us. I don't worry about running into him anymore as I used too at the start. Because we can go weeks sometimes without seeing or hearing from anyone. We travel from wasteland to wasteland, laying low. It often feels more like hiding than a hunt for Horcruxes but I never say that aloud. Even though I am not the only one who feels that way.
It didn't take long for Ron's anger to show either. Within the first two months, we spoke briefly about what had happened with Malfoy. Ron had admitted some things I wish he hadn't but I understood that he needed to get them off of his chest. So I listened. But when he started asking 'Why Malfoy?' it hurt to think back on it. To sit there and actively remember the reasons I had been so drawn to him and how he had made me feel. But it was worse when Ron had asked 'Why not me?' That one hurt. Because that one didn't have an answer.
It was not a simple either-or question that I could placate him with an answer. Once Malfoy came into colour there was no one else I could see. These feelings and realisations overcame me in the first few months. I realised more about myself and about him and what we had in those first few months than the entire time we had been an 'us'. If that's what we were. That was when eating became a problem. I don't dwell on it now. I cannot allow myself too anymore. Each one of us knows that we have to make a conscious effort to keep it together. If one of us cracks we all come tumbling down. I am trying to avoid the fallout. I am so desperately trying.
When we feel the earth; fresh and new- beneath us I look around and it's exactly as I remember it. Harry drops his bag to the grass and stares ahead.
"Why here?" he asks turning his head to me slightly. I drop my bag beside his and stare ahead at the river barely visible through the thick thicket ahead.
"I used to come here with mum and dad when I was younger," I admit. Although it had been somewhat easier travelling between safe house because we had the opportunity to leave a concealed note behind to any other members who might visit the safe house after us. It felt like the right choice to come here.
"I thought we were going to Manchester?" Ron asks.
"I thought the fresh air could do us good," I argue before the two boys can start. Ron simply nods his head as he takes off towards the sound of the river up ahead.
"I'll put up the tent so I guess," Harry says, leaning down to rummage through his bag.
I watch as Harry takes over an hour to set up the tent because he refuses to use magic.
"I'll set up the wards," I call over my shoulder when it starts to hit twilight.
At the bottom of the hill, I turn around making sure the radius is far enough away from the camp that if anyone decides to breach it we have enough time to drop and run. I can just about see Harry's head moving around on top. I raise my arms and decide against it for a second. I sit down in the base of an old tree trunk and stare ahead. There's a small lake at the base of this hill that has seemed to overflow from a recent period of heavy rain. The birds flutter around the small oasis throwing the water over their backs and shaking it off with their wings. I remember the birds doing that in the birdbath my father had built in the back garden.
I think of my time here camping as a child and running as fast as I could up the hills and sliding down them in the dirt and muck with my father. That feels like a lifetime ago now.
I am different now.
I set the wards and turn to take off back up the hill before the boys can start tearing each other apart over food.
Suddenly as if someone has interrupted my trail of thought I hear a sound.
Draco's Point of View.
"How long have we been walking?" Blaise groans beside me.
"Can't be more than 45 minutes," I say. Blaise groans again.
"Stop giving out!" I warn to which Blaise just rolls his eyes.
"It's only another 20 minutes to the apparate point. We have to check the area," I explain for the fourth time.
"I know I'm just tired. I've been holed up in a house with Pansy for the last four days 'awaiting instructions.'" He does the bunny ears with his hands for the last part.
"Besides, do they really believe it's going to be Potter who breached the apparition wards here?" Blaise asks.
"Have to be safe though," I admit, repeating what Yaxley had said. I know realistically Potter isn't stupid enough to apparate to the middle of this random forest in the south of England. There's nothing around for miles either way.
"Had to listen to Pansy sob about Astoria for four whole days Malfoy," he adds with a deep grunt at the end.
"Shit man, I feel for you," I say brushing my hand over the back of my neck. Pansy has become extra intense since the war started. Shes even moodier if that were possible. The Pansy I knew back in Hogwarts is but a distant memory. But I suppose we're all different now in our own ways.
"They think she purposely walked out in front of that curse you know," Blaise supplies.
"I heard," I say.
"Do you think she would do that?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm not sure. I didn't really know her all that well," I admit.
"Guess neither of us is going to get to marry her," he jokes. I chuckle a little, kicking a loose branch on the ground as we make our way through the forest.
"But then again. She wasn't much your type, to begin with, now was she? You like em quiet I hear?" Blaises supplies as he kicks a branch I've kicked in his direction. I roll my eyes at him.
"Are we going to do this all the time now, Blaise?" I question. "Why do you always want to talk about Hogwarts?"
"Because for the last fucking year almost nothing had happened Malfoy. I'm bored shitless sitting around in safe houses just to get moved to another safe house. I'm sick of this I need a bit of excitement. At least when we were in Hogwarts stuff was actually happening all the time."
"Are you not tired of this?" he asks. I weigh this question up for a moment. I thought before that I would give anything to go back to waiting. To the waiting that happens before war. But I've just moved from waiting to waiting with not much happening in between. I guess I should savour it before it suddenly comes crushing down.
"Yeah," I answer quietly. Blaise nods his head slowly.
"Me too, man," he replies.
Blaise and I are different now. Our relationship is less forced, more natural if you will. We are no longer playing a calculated game of chess when we talk to one are friends now. Real friends stemmed from long hours waiting in safe houses with no one to talk to but one another. He's the only one I can tolerate to talk to for an extended period of time without losing my mind. He has changed a good deal since the start of all of this. He would never admit it fully but I don't think he's head is in it anymore. In retrospect, this is not our war. It's our parents. I can't help feeling the same way sometimes. I think it is this unspoken understanding that has shaped our relationship into what it is today.
"So you know what we could talk about to fill the time?" Blaise asks with a smirk painted smugly across his face. I glare at him.
"What?" he questions throwing his hands up in a sheepish defence. He knows what he's doing. I'm less angry about it now than I used to be at the start. Blaise asks about her all the time. He tries his arm. Always poking at me to see if today will be the day I finally talk about it.
"Drop it Blaise will you? I'm not in the mood," I say, sighing.
"Malfoy come on! Talk with me I'm so socially starved of a good conversation. I didn't get a word in for four days with Pansy. I deserve a good conversation after that don't you think?"
"Then talk to Yaxley when we get back," I suggest.
"Ha! Very funny. That guy barely speaks," Blaise says. "Not like you can deny it anyways. I caught you with her," he adds under his breath at the end. I sigh loudly.
"I'm not denying it I just don't want to talk about it," I admit. Blaise smirks at me devilishly.
"What?" I argue. He smirks again.
"That's the first time in all the times I've asked you about it that you haven't denied it," Blaise explains. I groan kicking a rock. It soars ahead skipping through a lake that's formed after the recent heavy showers.
"I have to take a piss hold on," Blaise says, taking off towards the trees to our left.
"Why are you going so far in?" I shout.
"Privacy asshole!" he calls back. I step up the hills incline a bit as I wait. Blaise hums a show tune as I hear his urine start. I roll my eyes.
"It was a bit of a shock I will admit," Blaise calls out.
"What?"
"When I realised you had a thing for the Mudblood," Blaise calls back.
"Not having this conversation," I shout back at him.
I step forward and a sweet, somewhat fruity smell is carried towards me with the passing of the breeze.
"You know you can talk to me Malfoy," he calls. The thing is that I do know I can talk to him. Blaise is currently the closest I am with anyone since the start of this war. He has a level head and he's proven that he's loyal and trust wordy. But it's not Blaise that's the problem. I don't want to talk about her. Ever. I want to pretend that she never existed and I pray each day when we're holed up in a safe house that I won't run into her that day.
"Can't believe she ever liked you though," he calls out and I roll my eyes.
"Thought her and Weasel were set to have a full litter together," he says.
"He wishes," I mumble under my breath.
"Doubt you'll ever see her again though. None of them has been spotted in over four months now," Blaise calls.
I step forward up the hill, my foot sliding a little on the soggy earth. My eyes snap ahead as a slight glimmer of light reflects off of seemingly nothing ahead of me. Something is off. I think of calling Blaise but my intrigue gets the better of me. I feel a tingling all around my body as I step through a slight force that tries to push me back. I push through, my arm first and step into it. When I look up I see the top of a tent barely visible at the top of the hill with a small trail of smoke dispersing into the sky. Ahead of me, about an arm's length away; Granger stands with her arms outstretched, nearly touching my chest and the look of sheer panic etched into every corner of her face like she was trying to prevent me walking through the ward she has clearly set up.
The realisation comes crashing down on me like gravity has just increased dramatically. I look up towards the tent up at the top of the hill again and I can bet my life on it that Potter and the Weasel are up there right now. So it was them that set of the wards. What are the chances? The wards here have been set of four times in the last few months. The first time it was a group of travellers passing through so the next two alarms went unaddressed. It was only because Blaise was annoying Yaxley this morning that he sent us out here in the first place.
Granger steps back, almost losing her footing as I watch her think about running back up the hill towards the boys. I look back towards Blaise to see if he's come back out from behind the trees yet but he hasn't. Granger watches me warily as she reaches for her wand. I don't reach for mine. I simply stare at her now that the shock has somewhat worn off. It was her perfume I had smelt just a moment ago carrying itself towards me on the breeze. She looks much different now. It is hard to see anything through the panic in her eyes. I can't tell what she's thinking when she looks at me. But her hand stays close to her pocket where I know her wand is. She doesn't trust me. I suppose maybe I don't trust her either. Its been over a year since we last saw one another.
She has strayed so far away from the women I saw her be in the glimpse of her future. But I suppose that doesn't matter anymore. Because it was never real in the first place. She was never supposed to be that girl anyways. She is so slim now. So much that the oversized jumper she wears -probably belonging to one of the boys- hangs almost down to her knees. When did she become so small and fragile? She looks like glass. Sickly pale glass.
She swipes her hair back behind her ears as she notices me scrutinising her. My how times have changed. I was worried before that she wouldn't be able to look at me the same after what I had been ordered to do. But now- standing here- we are but mere strangers to one another. She knows it and I know it too. We are not the people we were in Hogwarts nor can we ever be again. I wonder has she seen the things wrote about me in the Prophet. Looking at her dishevelled appearance I gather it's been a while since she's been into a store to pick one up.
Grangers eyes dart towards the sound of Blaise's voice and back to mine again as she takes another step back up towards the top of the hill. If I speak now Blaise will surely hear.
"Blaise?" I call. Grangers eyes turn murderous for a second as she glares at me. How I used to love that expression. If I just call again this can all be over finally. If I just call Blaise's name a little louder this can finally be over. No more waiting in safe houses for days or weeks on end with nothing to do. No more long hauls of not sleeping and barely having enough food to feed everyone. No more disappointed looks from my father or sneers directed at my family during official meetings. It can finally be over if I just say the right thing now. If I can just do what I was meant to do that day on the tower this can all be over.
"No," she whispers in a panic. More of a slip of the tongue I imagine. I have not heard her voice in over a year. At least that still sounds the same. My stomach starts to twist. Somewhere that seems so far away and yet right in front of my face, I see Dumbledores face in my mind's eye.
"Yeah, I'm almost finished!" He calls back. Granger takes another step back, her foot slipping on the mud sending her flying onto her backside. She pulls out her wands and points it at me. Her arm shakes tremendously as she tries to right her stance again. My resolve changes because it had only been a fleeting idea in the first place. I would turn Potter in in a heartbeat. But not her. Not when I know what they would do to her if she was caught. I mouth the word 'listen' as I glare at her to stop squirming and making such a fuss. She stops and looks between me and the direction of Blaise in utter bewilderment.
"How far behind are Greyback and the others?" I call out, watching Grangers face squeeze together in confusion.
"Em, about half an hour I imagine?" he questions. I'm aware that in my present position that I am invisible to Blaise inside her wards. I hear the sound of shuffling coming from the trees and if I don't step out from her wards now Blaise won't be able to see me and who knows what could happen then. I watch as Granger takes in this information.
"And how far to the apparate point?" I call out, watching her intensely again. The anger in her face dissipates and I wish that it hadn't. Because now I can finally see her. She purses her bottom lip tightly upwards and her eyes turn solemn as she watches me. She takes another step back as she watches Blaise step out from a large tree. I step forward so I'm hidden behind a tree myself. I watch as Blaise looks around, confused.
"What is it? Fifteen minutes away now? Must be. Where are you?" he calls, turning around. I look at Granger one last time. How long it has been since I have seen that face. I clearly don't have agood memory because there is so much of it that seemed so fuzzy up until just now. How could I forget her hair colour? It's much lighter than I remember. Almost auburn now.
"Why have you gone quiet?" he calls out, his voice carrying up around the forest. "Thinking about Granger?" he jokes. I feel my stomach drop as Granger's head darts back to mine.
At the top of the hill, I notice a figure start making its way down and when he's in sight he stops and stares at us. It's Potter. Granger turns her head up towards him as he drops something in his hand from the shock. Time is running out. I move towards Granger and grab her arm a little too roughly. I pull her attention back to mine as I pull her in close. I grab the back of her neck and lean in close to her ear. Close enough so she can hear me but Blaise can not. But not close enough that I'm actually touching her.
"Get your shit and go now. Greyback is behind us. You breached the wards in this area. Walk thirty minutes in that direction before you apparate. Don't leave any trace behind you. They can track that kind of shit. Go to Edinborough. Do not even attempt to go back to London," I warn. Harry watches unsure from overhead. He's noticed Blaise now. I turn towards him for a second before Grangers deep exhale catches my attention again.
I squeeze the back of her neck for a second, breathing deeply. Her scent assaulting me all the while.
"Hide Granger. They have your picture posted at the safe houses," I explain, more quietly this time.
"Now go!" I say, more forcefully this time as I push her backwards. She staggers for a second unsure as she looks between Blaise, Potter and I before turning and taking off running up towards Potter.
Potter and I stare off briefly before he too turns and joins Granger. I watch as they disappear over the hill.
"Come on Malfoy this isn't funny anymore?" Blaise calls.
I step out of the ward and it all disappears as if none of it was ever real in the first place. I step around the tree and pull down my zipper quickly. As I walk up to Blaise he exhales in relief. I pull up my zipper.
"Sorry. I was taking a piss too," I say as I take off walking ahead of him.
"Don't do that man. You scared the shit out of me!" Blaise exclaims.
"What you thought I was kidnapped or something?" I laugh. Blaise joins in.
"They'd give you back just as fast. Trust me," he jokes. I turn my head back up to where the campsite had been and I see nothing. I wonder can she still see me.
"Let's go," I say more forcefully this time. The sooner we get back the sooner Greyback joins us and I know the forest is safe.
Hermione's Point of View
Harry grabs me at the top of the hill.
"What the fuck Hermione? Did you contact him somehow?" Harry shouts.
"Are you serious?" I shout back. Ron emerges from the tent with a worried expression.
"He practically came out of nowhere. He happened to walk into the ward and see me!"
"What's going on?" he calls to us as we reach the tent.
"Pack up! We're moving now," I demand.
"But we just got here!" Ron argues.
"What did he say to you?" Harry asks, grabbing my attention.
"He told me that there are other Death Eaters moving through the forest. Apparently, we set off some apparition wards when we entered the forest. They're searching the area for the culprits," I explain.
"He's planning something," Harry muses.
"Did you not just see that?" I shout, throwing down a book, hard onto the table. The bang silences Ron's insufferable questioning.
"I saw Malfoy yes," Harry answers.
"Malfoy?" Ron shouts, confused as ever.
"He could have turned us in there but he didn't, okay? He warned me. He said we have to get out of here now. So I'm not sticking around to test his word okay. Let's move, now!" I shout grabbing everything from the table and putting them in my bag.
"Dissasemble the tent as fast as you can and chuck it in the bag. We can sort it out later. Don't leave anything behind," I say.
Harry watches me warily as he stares towards where Malfoy had just been standing.
"Harry come on!" I argue, stopping what I'm doing as I wait for him to move.
"Do you still trust him? After all this time, Hermione. Really? It just feels off to me," Harry worries.
I'm not sure how to answer the question. My body is still shaking from adrenaline and I'm so dizzy from it that I can barely make Harry out at the moment.
"I don't know Harry. I just know that he wasn't lying just now," I say.
"How can you be so sure?" he asks.
"Look, Harry. I'm not asking you to trust Malfoy. I'm asking you to trust me. I believe what he just said right now. Do you trust me?"
"Of course," Harry answers.
"Then get moving," I demand. Harry grabs his bag and moves quicker than I expect into the tent to start taking it down. I breathe a sigh of relief.
When the campsite is clear I pour some dirt on top of the fire so it doesn't look like it was lite recently. We take off up the hill in the direction Malfoy had pointed out. I see a thick bush ahead.
"Here this way," I say, waving the boys over. I push through the branches creating a path for the other two to follow. Suddenly as if someone had pulled the earth from beneath me I start falling, tumbling forward, sliding all the way down a deep cliff. I hear a crack somewhere and I'm not sure if it's a bone or my wand. When I finally hit the earth my head feels so heavy. I hear the shouts of Harry and Ron from very far away. I lean my head upwards and spit the dirt out from between my teeth. I look ahead and see my wand lying on the ground just ahead. I reach out to grab it but a heavy boot steps on my hand, crushing one of my knuckles. I scream out in pain as the sound carries throughout the forest.
"Hello Beautiful," a deep voice whispers.