I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.

It's a lovely day at Hogwarts, and you're a horrible goose

Professor Snape was in a bad mood. To be fair, he was frequently not in a good mood as it was. Any student who had met the dour faced potion master would say that Professor Snape was a man who had a passing familiarity with being in a good mood. He knew of the concept, much like he knew mixing pickled tentacular vines with stewed mandrake was a powerful sedative, but he largely avoided both concepts. Even students of his own House of Slytherin tried not to bother him, and they had more leniency than any of the other Houses.

Today however, Professor Snape was in a bad mood. He stalked down the hallways, his cloak billowing out from behind him like the wings of a bird of ill omen. The torches dimmed in his wake, as if they too feared to attract his attention. The denizens of the paintings blanched when they saw him, ducking his hooded eyes.

"Hawkins!" Snape snarled at a seventh year Gryffindor that had blundered into his path. "Is there a reason that you are spilling books all over the hallway?" He ignored the boy's terrified sputters. "10 points from Gryffindor and if you do not clear the books swiftly it will be double with detention."

"McNall!" A fifth year Ravenclaw girl stifled a shriek. "Where were you earlier? Skipping my class? I would be upset but you add nothing by being in class as it were. 10 points from Ravenclaw and try to miss class again."

"You seem upset Professor."

Snape whirled, a verbal curse building on his lips and he struggled to throttle it as he saw the speaker. "Professor McGonagall. I am...not upset."

"Really?" The witch looked calmly back at the irate wizard. She raised an eyebrow at his flushed features. "Then, what are you exactly?"

"I am," he smoothed his cloak with long thin fingers. "vexed."

"Vexed," McGonagall repeated slowly. "Vexed is a fancier word for being upset Professor."

"As always, your knowledge of things mundane equal your knowledge of magic."

A thin smile appeared on her lips. "We could spend all day sparring like this Severus while I watch you punish the students for little reason but let us cut to the chase. Why are you so vexed?"

Snape sighed. "My storeroom, my private storeroom, was broken into and utterly thrown about. Bottles smashed, drawers opened, contents strewn about. I found items that do not belong inside, items like this." He drew a long pointed object from his pocket.

"That is...a carrot."

"I am aware it is a carrot!" Snape said acidly, waving the vegetable like a wand. "It has no reason being in my storeroom! It is not a dancing Tibetan carrot. It is not a tangle Mermish carrot. It is not a blushing parsnip nor is it a Flemmish Mimic Carrot. It is a plain, literal garden variety, carrot! It has no place in my storeroom!"

McGonagall almost snorted, visibly trying to control her laughter. "However did it get there then?"

"I aim to find out. When I find the person responsible for this prank they will be in detention for the next year and I have barrels of rotting flobberworms with their name on it."

"Actually," McGonagall snatched the carrot from Snape, "I was just coming from the kitchen. Someone has caused some trouble there. The house elves are all in a fit, pots strewn about and all the cutlery has been taken to a corner oven. They have no idea how that happened."

Snape paused. "Peeves?"

"Impossible. He is currently being used as a pot filler by the Bloody Baron."

Both professors turned their head at shrieks coming from outside. The doors leading to the grounds opened and a crowd of students came running in. They screamed in alarm, running for the steps. More than half dripped with water, leaving a trail of water behind them. Others were covered with white feathers, beating their arms wildly.

Snape and McGonagall ran for the grounds, wands in hand and they passed through the students without effort. They looked left and right, trying to find the source of the students' fright. They saw another crowd of them running towards the castle from the area near the Forbidden Forest. Without pause they dashed down, lips already moving as they cast protective charms on the running students.

McGonagall came to a sudden stop, grunting slightly when Snape ran into her back. The potions master was about to ask why she had stopped when he too saw what she did. "What in the world..."

"That...that is a Goose," McGonagall said lamely.

Snape could only nod in mute astonishment. It was a Goose, a large specimen with stunningly white feathers and a bill that was shocking orange, but a goose nonetheless. What made it even more bizarre was that Goose sat at the crown of the Whomping Willow. The branches of the violent tree flew about in arboreal outrage but none touched the bird. "What is a Goose doing on the Willow?"

"I have a better question Severus, how did the Goose get there without being destroyed by the Willow?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Is that a...wand in its beak?"

"Impossible!" McGonagall gasped. "Merlin's beard it is!"

The two could only watch with slack jawed astonishment as the Goose shook its head happily, the wand in its beak trailing a stream of colored lights. A line of bells rang cheerfully at its gestures, dancing back and forth in the air and deftly avoiding the Willow's waving branches.

"What are we going to do about this- hey! Where are you going Severus?"

"I have no desire to interfere with any bird that can survive unmolested by the Willow. Some things are better left alone. I have a feeling we would be less frustrated if we let the Goose be."