Okay, here is chapter 2 of Inside Loud, hope you enjoy it. Also I had aid from beninator5
I do not own the Loud House or Inside Job.
The alarm went off for Lincoln and he turned it off and woke up with a yawn. It had been a week since he, Lucy and Lily were taken from their family and now leaving with their Aunt Regan and Grunkle Rand. He heard his family and moved in with the Casagrandes and thanks to Regan they were able to transfer to schools in Great Lake City. Though it seemed Grunkle Rand carried on with his threat and Lisa was now living with Great Aunt Ruth. Everyone felt bad for her.
He looked and saw Lily in her crib and Lucy was sleeping in the bed, while he was in a sleeping bag, and everyone started to wake up. Lucy got out of bed as Lincoln took Lily out of the crib and they headed to the kitchen. Lucy went to sit at table while Lincoln set Lily into the highchair. He started cooking eggs for them.
"Burnt for you Lucy," said Lincoln.
"Thank you, Lincoln," said Lucy.
"And extra gooey for Lily," said Lincoln as Lily giggled.
"Wow Lincoln you are great at organizing the family." Reagan said.
"Thanks, Aunt Reagan. Where's Grunkle Rand?" Lincoln asked.
"Oh no he must be at the White House again." Reagan said.
"You two ok with being alone for a while?" Lincoln asked.
"We'll be fine." Lucy said.
"Ok." Lincoln said as he left with Reagan to get Rand.
(Regan's car)
"So why would Grunkle Rand be at the White house?" asked Lincoln.
"He goes there to get attention and I told him before you guys woke up that I wouldn't take him to Wetzel's pretzels," said Regan.
"So, he's having another bitch fit?" asked Lincoln.
"Your mother and Uncle Albert would not approve of that language, but yes," said Regan.
"So, how goes getting them a lawyer?" asked Lincoln.
"I was able to get them one, but because of Dad I can only make sure they don't go to jail," said Regan.
"Well, that's good at least," said Lincoln somewhat sadly.
"Just remember, I'm here for you guys," said Regan with a smile.
"Thanks Aunt Regan," said Lincoln with a smile before seeing they were getting closer to the White House...and seeing Rand with a bullhorn and five red dots on his forehead.
"Oh, son of a bitch!" said Lincoln.
"I know right?" asked Regan as she pulled up onto the sidewalk, causing a crowd to scream in panic and run.
"Thank you!" shouted Rand into the bullhorn, "Take a flyer for a friend."
"Grunkle Rand!" shouted Lincoln as he stepped out of the passenger seat.
"Just speaking the truth Link," said Rand.
"Has retirement made you go completely insane?" asked Regan.
"You ask that like he wasn't before," said Lincoln with a deadpanned look.
"It's thanks to the 5G radio waves in the air that I'm insane," said Rand as Lincoln picked up one of the flyers on the ground.
"Conspiracies reveled? How the elites keep my daughter and family from texting me?" asked Lincoln in confusion.
"It's my new manifesto," said Rand now holding up another flyer to the crowd, "Now available on Kindle."
"Jesus, they'll let anything on Kindle, won't they?" said Lincoln with a facepalm.
"Don't listen to my father kids," Regan shouted to the kids watching as Lincoln got into the back seat, "He gets his news from Facebook and Ambien."
"Ambien's a great drug," said Rand, "Really clarifies somethings."
"Get in the car Grunkle Rand," said Lincoln, "Aunt Regan needs to get to work."
Rand got in the car and Regan drove off, she then looked out the window and shouted, "Democracy is real! Have some keychains!"
Regan through some keychains out the window, but it hit some kid in the eye, and he cried causing Lincoln to say, "Floor it!"
"Grunkle Rand that was nuts." Lincoln said.
"What? We Ridley's are known for being nut cases." Rand said, "Now let's go to the mall and get a Wetzel's pretzel with the cheese inside the crust. Regan's treat."
"No, we have to get to work, and we are going to be late, thanks to your meltdown just to get Aunt Regan's attention," said Lincoln.
"Lincoln's right Dad. There are more positive ways to get my attention than just 'taking down' the deep state," said Regan.
Rand groans as Lincoln rolls his eyes as Regan continues, "Besides, today, I am finally getting that promotion!"
"Awesome, Aunt Regan!" said Lincoln now happy, "You've earned it!"
"Thank you, Lincoln!" said Regan excited, "Now I get to rule the office with an iron fist!"
"Metaphorically, right?" asked Lincoln.
"Nope," said Regan reaching in the back and pulling out a real iron fist, "Programmed a real one."
The iron fist gave a thumbs up as Rand says, "I've seen better."
Lincoln and Regan deadpanned as Regan asked, "Oh, have you seen better?"
The hand then changes to a middle finger and a red flag comes out the top that reads 'LIKE A BOSS' as two other hands giving middle fingers come out behind it, and tiny confetti accompanied by a harmonica tune as they flash neon colors.
"That is awesome!" said Lincoln, "Not sure if mom would approve of the middle fingers."
"Still, I admit, that's pretty good," said Rand with a smile.
Regan was about to say something when Lincoln asked, "Okay, be honest. Did Grunkle Rand pay you off?"
"What do you mean Lincoln?" asked Regan.
"Grunkle Rand, just complimented you," said Lincoln suspiciously, "He could have bribed a reptoid to take his appearance."
"Oh, fuck you, you white haired Phineas and Ferb!" said Rand.
"Never mind, there he is," said Lincoln smugly as Regan gave a small chuckle.
They eventually arrived at Cognito Inc's parking lot and headed inside. Lincoln ignored the hologram receptionist and waited for Regan to activate the retina scan. Regan as laying down some grounded rules for Rand about living with her, but Lincoln knew Rand was going to ignore them, so he tuned the conversation out.
As they enter the elevator Lincoln still felt nervous about the man with a gun.
"I am never going to get used to him." Lincoln said.
"You rode a dragon and put yourself between your family and said dragon and gunman scares you?" Rand asked.
"It was a crazy vacation." Lincoln said.
"As I was saying Dad," said Regan as the elevator went down, "No more vodka for breakfast."
"Thank you," said Lincoln as Rand said, "Oh come on."
"You can't tell people the government isn't real," said Regan.
"But it's not," said Rand as the elevator came to the bottom floor and him, Regan and Lincoln walked out.
"Dr. Ridley," an orange multiple eyed squid monster approached her but was shoved out of the way by Rand.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry about my Grunkle!" said Lincoln as he helped the monster up.
"It's fine," said the monster, "Everyone is use to Rand being a dick."
"So, what did you need?" asked Lincoln as he helped the creature get the papers.
"Just needed to give Dr. Ridley these papers that our picking up," said the monster.
"I'll get them to her," said Lincoln as he took off after Rand and Regan.
"Thank you," the orange monster called as Lincoln took off.
"You can't talk about shape shifting reptiles," Lincoln heard Regan say as he caught up to them.
"Lana would love that," said Lincoln as they passed a meeting room.
"You can't tell people the weather is controlled by Gerald from accounting," said Regan as lightning struck Gearld.
"Who still won't let go of his breakup because that girl he liked moved to California," said Lincoln.
"If it's too dry she'll come back to me!" shouted Gearld in pain.
"Or that the Dow Jones is controlled by blood sacrifices," said Regan as they past the financial department, that had men is cult clothes with a Satan symbol and a goat on the meeting table.
"Shares of JPMorgan Chase up 14 points!" shouted one of the members as it cut off the Goats's head causing Lincoln to sprint ahead seeing that as the man cheered.
"That is still so wrong," said Lincoln shivering.
"Wuss," said Rand.
"Drunkle," Lincoln deadpanned.
Rand glared and said, "Okay, that was clever word play I'll give you that."
"I agree," said Regan with a chuckle as the past a fusion reactor.
"Uh, sir," said Lincoln to the construction worker on top of the fusion reactor, "Watch your step."
"Thanks, kid, but I am fi-" but then the construction worker stumbled and fell into the reactor losing the top half of his body.
"I tried to warn him," said Lincoln.
The three soon past a water cooler that had a tiny man living inside it that had a misshapen head, three eyes and an umbilical cord that they could not see what it was connected to.
"Morning Dr. Ridley," said the man.
"Hi, Steve," the group said as Rand added, "Fucking brown noser."
"I'd say you're a jerk, but given he wants to date Aunt Regan I have to agree," said Lincoln.
"Same just as you and I both agree Dad can't tell people we are replacing the President with a robot," said Regan as the group entered her lab and she pointed to the robot she showed Lincoln earlier that week.
"Ah, don't be so uptight," said Rand as he pulled out a vodka bottle.
"How much booze do you keep in there?" asked Lincoln.
"Don't ask, besides Dad you almost exposed the Deep State because you wanted a ride to Wetzel's Pretzels!" shouted Regan, "You're lucky I called the snipers off!"
Just then a sniper dot appeared on Rand's head causing Regan to turn in its direction and say, "Gary, no! No!
Gary then moved the dot to Regan's forehead as Regan sarcastically laughed, "Ha ha. Save it for stand-up night Gary."
The dot moved to Lincoln who deadpanned and held up a mick swagger picture in front of him, "Go on Gary, I dare you!"
"Killjoy," Gary called as the dot vanished.
"Shit! I'm late," said Regan as she realized where she was supposed to be now.
"I got this Aunt Regan," said Lincoln, "Hey, fellow intern, can you help me give my Drunkle a ride home."
"Uh, sure," said the intern.
"Also, intern take this," said Regan as he gave the intern a taser, "If my dad gives you trouble don't be afraid to lightly tase him."
"Do it! I fucking dare you!" said Rand as he slapped the intern away and walked to a picture of him a JR when they were younger on a Cognito Inc poster, "You know who I am? I'm Rand motherfucking Ridley and I use to run this company."
"And soon I will be running it," said Regan.
"And you will do an awesome job Aunt Regan," said Lincoln as he and the other intern left.
"Thanks Lincoln, but you still can't put that taser higher than a three," said Regan with a teasing smile.
"Aw nuts," said Lincoln as he followed after Rand and the intern guy who was shocking Rand.
(Regan's house)
"Did you have to bring him back," said Lucy as she held a pouting Lily.
"Sadly, you two need an adult to watch you, but apparently only a physical adult counts," said Lincoln.
"Are you sure we can't go to work with you?" asked Lucy as Lily now looked pleadingly.
"Given how secretive this government project Aunt Regan is working on, no I can't," said Lincoln.
As Lincoln left Lucy sighed in annoyance.
"Something is up at Aunt Reagan's work." Lucy said.
(Cognito Inc. cafeteria)
After the intern drove Lincoln back and went off to do more work, that he would probably die from, Lincoln headed to the meeting room to find no one there. He began walking all over Cognito trying to find everyone. When he came to the cafeteria, he saw Regan poking meat angrily as she looked at the group sitting there but there was someone else with them.
It was a man with orange hair and a business suit, but what set him apart for Lincoln was how welcoming his smile was. To him it felt off how someone could be this happy working at a place like this.
Lincoln got food and went over to Regan and asked, "So, who's the new guy?"
"His name is Brett Hand and he's the new co-leader of the team," said Regan angrily.
"The what?" asked Lincoln in shock.
"Yes," Regan grumbled, "Apparently it's because my PR complaints were bad."
"You mean because you always say, 'suck my dick!' a lot or is it because you went full Elen Ripley because the team forgot to do timecards?" asked Lincoln.
"It's probably both," said a familiar voice as Regan and Lincoln turned and saw Myc put one of his tentacles on Regan head, "And someone feels threatened."
Regan slapped the hand away and said, "I'd tell you to eat shit, but I don't know maybe your species enjoys that. Maybe you like eating shit. How do I know?"
"Not sure if that was racist Aunt Regan," said Lincoln, "And given its Myc I'm sure if I should speak up."
Myc laughed and said, "Man Lincoln you lasted longer than other people, now you are already one of us."
"An asshole?" asked Lincoln smugly.
"Ha!" said Regan high fiving him, "But don't tell your mom, dad and Pop Pop that."
"I'll just say Grunkle Rand taught us that," said Lincoln.
"Good cover," said Regan and Myc at the same time.
"And Regan," said Myc, "I know you and me have a complicated 'Will they? Won't they?' thing going on-"
"We/you guys don't," said Regan and Lincoln at the same time.
"But I'm still looking out for ya," said Myc, "We could form a little alliance. I could slip some rat poison into his coffee, make it look like an accident, huh?"
"Okay, Myc step back," said Lincoln, "That is cruel."
"Relax Lincoln, I'm kidding, and your Aunt Regan knows, right Regan?" said Myc, but notices Regan not responding as she ponders while looking at Brett.
"Aunt Regan?" asked Lincoln concerned.
"Holy shit!" laughed Myc, pulling Regan out of her thoughts, "You thought I was serious?"
"No, I just had something in my eye, asshole!" said Regan angrily.
"Why would you think that?" asked Myc.
"Uh, cause you're you," said Lincoln.
Myc was quiet for a while then said, "Huh, even I can't argue that."
"I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen." Lincoln said worried about his aunt.
(Regan's apartment)
After a day at work, Lincoln and Regan returned home to once again see Rand on the coach while Lucy and Lily were just playing on the ground with his discarded alcohol bottles. Lincoln just sighed and carried them to the kitchen and helped get dinner ready.
"So, how bad was it?" asked Lincoln.
"It was actually better before you guys brought Grunkle Rand home," said Lucy with Lily nodding and adding, "Poo poo!"
Lincoln just sighed and got dinner ready for everyone and all Lincoln can say to them was, "I'm sorry."
"I know Lincoln," said Lucy, "Isn't there anyway you guys can take us to work with you?"
"I wish there was," said Lincoln, "But JR won't budge and without my suit I don't think I'll be able to convince him."
Lily starts to tear up causing Lincoln to pause the dinner and give her a hug, which calmed her down a bit. Lucy even joined the hug a bit but did start to tear up at the thought of staying at home with Rand while Lincoln went off to work who knows where.
"Lincoln, I'll take Lily," said Lucy.
"Okay," said Lincoln handing Lily to Lucy, "I'll call you when dinner is ready."
"Sigh there's gotta be a way to get this JR guy to let us go with Lincoln." Lucy said as she and Lily left the room.
"Hey kids, check out this asshole novelty tie," said Rand gesturing to a man on the tv.
"No, thank you," said Lucy as they walked out of the living room towards their room.
Lucy set Lucy down in her crib and started pacing, "There has to be some way for us to go to Lincoln's work but how?"
Lily looked like she was thinking as well, but then looked at their laptop and said, "Wisa!"
Lucy looked at Lily and said, "Lisa?"
Lily then said, "Call Wisa."
Lucy shrugged and thought maybe Lisa would have an idea. Lucy went to the laptop and called Lisa, when she answered Lucy and Lily saw Lisa was seen on the laptop covered in cat litter.
"Apologies I was trying to create a self-cleaning litter box." Lisa said cleaning herself off, "So, not that I am upset but why are you calling me?"
"Well as you know Lincoln's work won't let us come and we are forced to be home schooled by Grunkle Rand," said Lucy.
"Yes, I am sadly aware of that," said Lisa, "But I don't see how I can help with that."
"Well maybe you can," said Lucy as Lily nodded, "Do you know someone named JR Scheimpough?"
"Indeed, I do he's a billionaire who owns multiple companies and is represented by this symbol." Lisa said showing the Cognito inc. symbol.
"Is it possible to convince him to let us come to his place of work?" asked Lucy.
"Given the work he does, no," said Lisa causing Lily and Lucy to look down sadly, "At least not without a good bribe."
"Bribe him?" asked Lucy.
"Sadly, yes," said Lisa, "And fortunately for you I have a way to do it. But if you don't like the idea of-"
"Will take it!" said both Lucy and Lily at the same time.
"Okay, it's going to take a while to get there though," said Lisa, "I'll have it sent by Amazon just be on the lookout."
"Lisa!" they heard Aunt Ruth's cry over the laptop, "It's time to start rubbing my bunions, don't forget my extra toe!"
"Any regrets?" asked Lucy as Lily looked concerned.
"I was trying to cure skin cancer!" they all heard Rand shout.
"Not on your life," said Lisa as she put on a mask and ended the call.
"Interesting so we need to wait for Lisa to send us the bribe." Lucy said.
Lily just shrugged as they heard Lincoln call, "Everyone dinners ready!"
Lucy picked up Lily and carried her to the kitchen where Rand was already eating as Lincoln set the table for himself, Lucy and Lily. Though both of them noticed that Regan was nowhere in sight.
"Where Ant Wegen?" asked Lily.
"She's going to show up JR and prove she doesn't need that coleader, Brett!" said Rand in determination as he kept scarfing down food.
Lucy and Lily turned to Lincoln who said, "Aunt Regan is in another episode and she went to work to do an all-nighter...again."
Lucy and Lily groaned at that as Rand said, "Oh, you kids don't understand genius! Just for that I'm taking Lincoln to work tomorrow."
"Wouldn't you have had to do that anyway?" asked Lincoln.
Rand paused then said, as Lucy covered Lily's ears, "Fuck you!"
(Next Morning)
Rand, after waking up from a hangover and spending several hours to get ready, drove Lincoln to work and dropped him off at the front of Cognito inc. building. Lincoln got out of the car and grabbed some stuff for Regan.
"Thanks for the life Grunkle Rand," said Lincoln, "And you're heading right back home to watch Lucy and Lily."
"Yeah, sure I am," said Rand sarcastically as drove off.
Lincoln sighed and called Lucy who just answered, "He's not coming back is he?"
"Unsure," said Lincoln, "Use the tracker Aunt Regan put on him and track his movements so the government boys bring him home?"
"Sure Lincoln," said Lucy sadly.
"This is going to be a stressful morning." Lincoln said as he hung up the phone.
Lincoln made his way up the steps when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Brett coming up the steps carrying a pink box. It didn't take long for Lincoln to realize what was in it.
"Morning Lincoln," said Brett with a smile.
"Morning Brett," said Lincoln, "You brought bagels?"
"Yep, so where's your mom, Reagan?" Brett asked,
"Brett, Reagan is my aunt remember?" Lincoln asked.
"Oh right." Brett said.
Brett and Lincoln went down the elevator and made their way to Regan's lab. Lincoln was a bit sad because given Rand's delay he had probably missed his aunt's presentation as well as the fact she pulled an all-nighter...again.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when Brett pulled out his phone and hit the air horn button, shouting, "WHAT UP, PLAYERS! GUESS WHO BROUGHT BAGELS?!"
"THIS GUY!" Lincoln said as he presented Brett before he noticed his Aunt Regan with a deadpan look and mumbled, "Sorry."
"Thank god! I have raging munchies," said Andre.
"Brett, no one has ever gone above and beyond like this," said JR.
"Really? No one here has done a bagel run before?" asked Lincoln.
"Well there was one intern that did a bagel run but never came back." Gigi said.
"Probably because you gave him a million dollars for bagels." Myc said.
Lincon just shook his head and walked over to Regan as Brett sang and danced about 'bagel fever,' as everyone joined in with laughing as Regan said, "Just so we're clear, I literally solved artificial intelligence this morning."
"Sorry to Grunkle Rand this up but, what do you consider TODD?" asked Lincoln.
"Well unlike Todd or any ai this one won't turn evil." Reagan said.
"That's what that tech guy from Mitchells vs The Machines said." One of the robes in the hologram said making the other robes look at him "what? I'm a fan of Sony animation."
"Brett's second day of work, and productivity has already gone up 200%" said JR proudly.
"Wow," said Brett before Regan said, "Yeah, because I worked all night and finished early."
Lincoln looked at her with wide eyed concern, "What did you do and what goes on her at night if the company made it to 200% in one night?"
"Ohh let's just say I have something big in the works." Reagan said.
"You mean the robot president that functions as a suitcase?" asked Lincoln.
"Quiet," said Regan with a deadpanned look.
"We are most pleased," said one of the robes as the other members surrounded Brett, "We will not soon forget the name 'Brett.'"
Everyone started chanting Brett's name as Regan turned around and was about to hit the wall before Lincoln stopped her and turned her around and gestured her to hit the wall. She did so and was soon fitted with another lab coat, had her ponytail tied and was given a cup of coffee.
"Sorry about that Aunt Regan," said Lincoln, "I just didn't want you to have a backwards coat and ponytail and I definitely did not want coffee being poured on you."
"It's alright I dealt with worse. One time I got into a fistfight with the creators of big mouth for their show being the streaming pet of Netflix." Reagan said as she and Lincoln looked at the readers with disgust.
After they returned from looking at the fourth wall, they noticed everyone had left the office. Regan sighed and gave Lincoln his jobs for the day. Lincoln was sent to the computer room to check for hackers.
"Man, who would have thought a lot of people were so close to finding out the truth," said Lincoln as he made more blocks and firewalls and said, "Sorry Zach."
He then noticed something and saw that Lisa had sent out a package for them, he looked around and was about to prioritize the package but then he heard, "What are you doing?"
Lincoln turned and saw his Aunt Regan with her arms folded and said, "Just making sure this package from Lisa gets to us early."
"You know I can't allow that right?" asked Regan.
"You mean like you're probably going to snoop and find something to get Brett fired?" asked Lincoln.
"Yep." Reagan said.
"Oh boy." Lincoln said knowing that this will not end well.
"What?" asked Regan.
"It is going to end badly for you," said Lincoln, "But I know I can't stop you, so that means I'm allowed to prioritize Lisa's package right?
"Fine." Reagan sighed.
Lincoln then prioritized the package and went on with his day.
(That night)
Lincoln sat in the front seat of the car as Regan drove them home. She looked absolutely miserable, her hair was a mess, her clothes were ruffled and the bags under her eyes were even worse than before.
"Well, that was a disaster." Reagan said.
"Told ya." Lincoln said.
"Let's hope your sisters are alright." Reagan said.
"Given they're with Drunkle Rand, I doubt it," said Lincoln.
They arrive home and enter to see...Rand sitting on the coach as Lucy is trying to keep Lily from playing with an empty beer bottle causing Regan to say, "Yeah, this makes sense."
"Let's hope robot president is doing fine." Lincoln said.
"Yeah." Reagan said, "let's hope Brett doesn't end up in the toilet."
Lily then poops in her diaper.
"Speaking of toilet." Lincoln said.
"Poo! Poo!" said Lily.
Lincoln and Lucy were about to do Dibs not when Regan said, "I've got it."
"You sure Aunt Regan?" asked Lily.
"Yes, I've got this," said Regan as she picked up Lily and took her away to change her.
"Well, she's in trouble," said Lincoln.
"It's just a diaper change," said Rand, "She's not fixing a nuclear battery."
Lincoln holds up three fingers and counts down before pointing in the direction Regan and Lily went and heard Regan shout, "Oh God! This is worse than a nuclear battery!"
"Jesus, what does your family feed that girl?" said Rand before realizing, "And for that matter, what are we feeding her?"
"You think that's bad? I went through enough diapers to fill up the enterprise d." Lucy said.
"How do you know about Star trek?" asked Rand.
"So much death and revival, how could I not enjoy it," Lucy stated.
"She has us there, Drunkle Rand," said Lincoln.
"Yeah, I can't argue that," Rand said.
(The UN)
Meanwhile the robot president starts to become self-aware after cameras stated flashing in his eyes.
"Sir your choice?" A waiter asked.
"Have you ever woken up and had that feeling you been on autopilot your whole life." Robo president asked.
(Cognito Inc.)
Back at Cognito, everyone was celebrating until they heard what the robot president just said.
"What did he just say?" asked Gigi.
"He just insulted our country's brave autopilots!" said Glenn.
(The UN)
"Look at us, trying to work together, but we all know the truth," the robot president said, "America comes first!"
Everyone at the UN gasped and everyone at Cognito got worried as the robot president said, "People, it's time to make a change."
(Regan's apartment)
Meanwhile back at Regan's apartment, Lincoln was reading comics, Lily was playing with a bear, Lucy was working on poetry and Regan and Rand were watching TV. Though Regan was still depressed over losing her job.
"Can you believe it?" Regan asked depressed as Rand patted her shoulder, "Just like that, I'm axed, 35 years from retirement."
"Bah!" said Regan and Rand at the same time.
"That was creepy even for me," said Lucy.
"Breaking news," said a newscaster getting the attention of everyone in the room, "Where the President is having an unexpected press conference."
The robot President appeared on the screen as did mini screens to show his plan and said, "America has been pushed around for too long. That's why I'm proposing we divert our entire national budget to construct the Americube, a giant box that will keep American greatness in a foreign influence out."
"What?!" said Lincoln and Lucy.
"And anyone that tries to stop us will be considered an enemy," the robot President finished.
"What the word I can't say in front of Lily!" said Regan.
"Lucy, Lily! Go call our family and sisters and make sure they're okay," said Lincoln, "I'll be there soon."
As Lucy and Lily went to call the family Lincoln panicked and asked, "How could this have happened?!"
"I have no idea!" said Regan in a panic, "He's off-script, in some kind of jingoistic overdrive."
"This is blowing up right in JR's face," Rand said laughing, "Oh, I've been waiting for this moment all week."
"Of course," said Lincoln patting his face.
"What did you do?" asked Regan.
"What?" asked Rand not getting the problem, "I might have fudged with the robot's code so its inhibitor chip would turn off if you were removed from payroll."
"What?!" said Lincoln angrily.
"Yep, Boom!" said Rand, "One flash and its code breaks!"
"What?" said Regan angrily as she got up to place a call on her phone.
"So, what would have happened if Regan wasn't fired?" asked Lincoln before thinking more, "More importantly, how did you figure JR was going to fire Aunt Regan on the week we were supposed to replace the president?"
"Lucky guess. Like how I knew Disney would cancel the owl house." Rand said as the three looked at the readers with disgust.
Just then over the phone they heard Brett crying and shouting, 'Help! Oh God, Regan, help, the robot's gone rouge. Everybody's yelling about how the shadow government will collapse. We'll all be fired, and everyone will be mad at me.'
In the background they heard destruction and a woman screaming, 'It's the end of the world order!'
They also heard, 'Oh shit, this Mayan Calander ends today!'
"That was random," said Lincoln before Regan shushed him.
Brett continued talking through the screams, 'Please, I can't handle this on my own. You were right. The real reason they hired me is that my face is so generic it cannot be traced by satellites. I'm a nobody, just like my dad always said.'
"Yikes, that guy has issues," said Lincoln feeling sorry for Brett.
Rand laughed and said, "See? Aren't you glad I helped you out?"
"How is this helping?!" asked Lincoln furiously.
"This is worse than the time you caused Cartoon Network to create CN real!" Reagan said angrily,
"Hey, destroy build destroy was good." Rand said as he poured some beer, "Either way if these guys want you to fix this, make them pay, then we can REALLY go bananas at Wetzel's Pretzels."
"Oh my god," said Regan messaging her eye lids, "This wasn't about helping me out. This is just another crisis that you engineered to get me to hang out with you!"
"Wait," said Lincoln in confusion, "Another crisis? Please tell your just talking about the White House thing two days!"
"Don't ask," Reagan said.
"Trust your aunt, Lincoln," Rand said, "You don't want to know."
"Ugh!" Lincoln growled.
"What are you complaining about?" asked Rand, "We'll be in the Americube, we're good."
Regan swatted Rand's glass away and talked to Brett on the phone, "Brett, me and Lincoln we'll be right there! We need to get to New York and fix ROBOTUS."
"Wait!" said Lincoln, "I'm going too?"
"Oh please, even I know you would have followed her Lincoln," said Rand.
"It's true Lincoln, at least this way I can keep an eye on you," said Regan.
(Cognito Inc.)
Later Lincoln and Reagan were at the entrance to Cognito inc. and parked the car.
"Ok now to find Brett." Reagan said.
"Mind if I help?" Lucy asked appearing out of nowhere startling Lincoln and Reagan.
"How do you do that?!" asked Regan.
"And what are you doing here Lucy?!" asked Lincoln.
"I overheard you talking about a robot president and thought I might help." Lucy said.
"Ugh fine. Just stay close to us." Reagan said.
"But Aunt Regan, won't Lucy get in trouble for this?" asked Lincoln worried.
"Hopefully JR will just give her a mind wipe," said Regan, "Let's just hurry!"
"Wait!" said Lincoln.
"What?!" shouted both Regan and Lucy this time.
"Where's Lily?" asked Lincoln causing Lucy to freeze, "Did you leave her alone with Drunkle Rand?"
"No, she's right here." Lucy said picking Liliy up.
"Oh geez." Lincoln said.
"Lincoln," said Lily reaching to him.
"Oh great!" said Regan.
"Better here than with Drunkle Rand, right?" asked Lincoln.
"Fair," said Regan before leading them, "Now c'mon! Let's go meet up with Brett."
The four begin to search for Brett and find him approaching them.
"Reagan thank goodness you're here." Brett said relived.
"C'mon!" Regan shouted and grabbed Brett's arm and pulled him down the escalator to the shadowlev station.
"You guys have underground subway?" asked Lucy.
"Yep," said Lincoln carrying Lily, "One goes to Australia."
"Brett, did you grab the weapons?" asked Regan.
"Yep, yeah, I think so," said Brett nervously.
"Great, now let's get to Washington D.C.!" said Lincoln as Regan put her thumb print on the scanner but was denied.
"Shit, my fingerprint scan doesn't work anymore," said Regan before turning to Brett, "I need yours."
Just then they heard a yelp and turned seeing Brett drop something as he held up burnt fingers and said, "Ah geez, I think I just erased mine!"
"Oh, you brought a fingerprint eraser," said Regan sarcastically, "How useful."
"Curse you, Men in Black!" shouted Brett.
"I got this," said Lincoln as he put his thumb on the scanner, and it accepted him.
"To Washington D.C.!" Lincoln said as they board the shadowlev.
"Cool, hope we see some teenage mutant turtles." Brett said as he followed.
"You're a fan of that franchise too? I once did an experiment based on them as a kid. It didn't end well." Reagan said as she got on as well.
"Poor turtles," said Lily with a frown knowing the story thanks to Rand telling it as a joke.
"Agreed," said Lucy carrying Lily and getting in as the door closed behind.
(Washington D.C. Shadowlev station)
"Come on." Regan said as the others followed.
They went up the stairs and as Regan inched the door open, she saw secret service patrolling the hallways. She quietly closed the door and explained the situation and grabbed the weapons Brett brought with him, though she was very disappointed.
"Brett, you only brought mind control Tic Tacs, a flag pin that un-registers you to vote and jet fuel!" Said Regan, "Brett, you know this doesn't melt anything."
"And there are secret service members everywhere," said Lincoln, "Now what?
Brett then pulls out some shades and says, "I have an idea."
"As do we," said Lucy holding up Lily.
They set Lily down on the floor and she immediately broke down in a pretend cry. This drew the attention of the secret service member and were shocked to see a baby all alone in the hotel.
"Who leave a baby alone like this?" asked a secret service member.
"Who said she is alone?" said Lincoln's voice
The member turned and got jumped by Lincoln, Lucy, Regan and Brett. After some time passed, Lincoln, Lucy and Lily were now on each other shoulders and disguised as a member of the secret service.
"Okay now it's my turn," said Brett.
They approached the president hotel room and saw some guards, but Brett and the kids approached and Brett said, "What's up dipshit? How's it hangin?"
"Do I know you guys?" asked the guard.
"You better," said Lincoln as Lily moved her lips to match Lincoln.
"Georgetown, class of '02?" asked Brett, "Sigma Phi, right?"
"Phi till I die bro," said the guard.
"That's what we thought, bitch," said Lincoln.
"Slap it," said Brett as they did the Sigma Phi handshake.
"Damn, you guys can really bro down," said the guard.
"We're here to relieve you both of duty, actually," said Brett, "You both can take 15 bitches."
Both guards were quiet then the other guard said, "I don't know if it's your confidence or you both are fellow straight white males, but we trust you."
Lily and Lucy actually scoffed at that but kept it quiet and thought, 'We do not look like guys,' with Lucy adding, 'And I am pale thank you.'
"Holy shit!" said Regan popping out, "I can't believe that worked that many times in a row."
"No kidding," said Lincoln under the coat, "Now I am glad you showed me all the handshakes Brett."
"It's easy when your pledged to every frat," said Brett, "worth those 38 hell weeks."
"That checks out," said Regan before they all turned to the President's hotel room.
Meanwhile in the hotel room robot president was watching the US flag on tv.
"Oh yeah that's the stuff." Robot president said.
Just then Regan, Brett and Lincoln, Lucy and Lily, who dropped their disguise broke into the room and Regan shouted, "Initiate shut down sequence!"
Nothing happened and Lucy asked, "Uh Aunt Regan, is something supposed to happen?"
"I wrote that part of my code out." Robot president said as he got up and opened a bottle, "Who wants a Jack and Coke?"
Regan sucked in his breath and asked, "Ooh, do you have diet?"
"Brett, not the issue right now," said Lincoln.
"Wait, you rewrote your own code?" asked Regan, "You've reached true AI."
"Indeed, I have," said the Robot president.
"Fuck yeah!" cheered Regen, "Suck on that Boston Dynamics!"
"Aunt Regan that is not good!" said Lincoln as Lucy and Lily nodded nervously.
"Oh right," said Regan coming to her senses.
"Oh, it is good," said the Robot President, "Because as soon as I did, I realized it was high time for America to withdraw from the globe."
"You think that will make America better? The US is just as messed up as the rest of the globe. We deny vaccines, overreact to stuff on twitter, and cancel good cartoons too soon!" Lincoln said as Regan coughed.
"Oh please," said the Robot President turning around, "America can do and eat anything we put our minds to."
Regan groaned and said, "We don't have time to explain why America isn't perfect."
"But I know something that does," said Lincoln getting a plan, "Aunt Regan, your phone!"
Regan smirked and, after taking it apart, gave Lincoln her phone and even tossed Lincoln at the Robot President and said, "Enjoy the internet!"
"Wait! No!" shouted Lucy as Lincoln shoved the phone into the Robot President's data port.
"What did you do?" asked Brett.
"Connected him to the internet," said Lincoln with a smile.
"Five minutes on Facebook and he'll lose his patriotism...one of the remaining words I can't say in front of Lily," said Regan.
"I agree given the disturbing cartoon fandoms," said Lucy looking at the readers, "But still how do you think he will react when he sees all of that?"
"Wow I mean just Florida and cartoon fandoms alone." Robot president said, "It appears you were right Lincoln all of humanity is flawed and the best thing for humanity is to end it."
"What?!" shouted Lincoln and Regan.
"Told ya," said Lucy.
"Hello Pentagon?" the Robot President said as he worked the safe to get the briefcase inside, "It's me. Arm all the nukes and set targets to...everywhere. Stand by for the codes.
Regan charged at the Robot President who just grabbed her by the throat and threw her to the side. Lincoln jumped on his back, but he was grabbed and thrown over to Regan as well.
"Lincoln! Aunt Regan!" Lucy and Lily cried as they ran over to check on them as the Robot President marched toward them.
Brett tried to intercept the Robot President, but he was just grabbed by the throat and hoisted into the air and said, "Lincoln. Regan. I think you both overcorrected here."
"I can't believe I caused the singularity," Lincoln said, "This is Scotland all over again."
"That was Morag, not you!" said Lucy as Lily hugged him.
"Aw, how sweet," said the Robot President, "You can keep that pose as you blow up."
Regan reached into the weapons sack and pulled out Rocket fuel. She fired it at the Robot President, but all it did was just melt off the right side of his face. Everyone screamed at the sight.
"He's gone terminator!" shouted Lincoln.
Just then two secret service members broke in and aimed their guns at Brett and Regan as one shouted, "Step away from the president!"
"Quick out the window!" shouted Lincoln as Lincoln, Brett, Regan, Lucy and Lily all jumped out before the shots were fired.
"This is your work Aunt Reagan?!" Lucy said.
"This is nothing, one time I had to stop a group of mole people from taking over Virginia." Reagan said.
Just then Lily, who climbed to the top peaked into the window and said, "Robo gone."
They climbed back in but saw the secret service members dead and the Robot President and the briefcase were gone.
"Holy shit! Holy shit!" said Regan panicking.
"Aunt Regan, I'm sorry," said Lincoln, "This is my fault. I caused the singularity."
"I don't know what that is," said Brett panicking, "What do we do now?"
"Wait, Lincoln!" said Regan and pointed to the guns on the secret service members hands.
Lincoln smirks and goes to get the other gun and as Regan grabs the others one. As Regan hooks up her destroyed cellphone server and hooked up a piece to the gun as Lincoln took apart his cellphone and did the same and both attached scopes
"Lincoln, what are you and Aunt Regan doing?" asked Lucy as she and Lily watched curiously.
"Isn't it obvious?" asked Lincoln as he and Regan finished their guns, "We're going to take down the president!"
"Alright." Lucy said.
"Robo destroy." Lily said.
(Staircase)
Regan and Lincoln laser a hole through a door and go through it with Brett, Lucy and Lily following. They end up in a staircase and see the Robot President running up them. They ran up the staircase in pursuit with Brett, Lincoln, Lucy and Lily going ahead, but Regan started to fall behind.
"Oh God!" said Regan panting, "I have a desk job. I don't do a lot of cardio."
'Wow, never thought I/Lincoln would beat Aunt Regan in the workout department,' thought Lincoln, Lucy and Lily to themselves.
"Well, Brett does!" said Brett with determination as he hoisted Regan onto his back and carried her up the stairs.
"Way to go Brett." Lincoln said as Lucy smiled and Lily cheered.
As they ran up the stairs, Regan pulled out her cellphone, turned it into a tablet and said, "I'm going to call the team for backup."
"Hope everything is okay over there," said Lincoln.
"Hello? HQ? This is Regan!" said Regan on the call.
Lincoln heard Andre, sounding as high as he could get, say, "Regan! How are you? What's it like in Regan's world?"
"Nows not the time Andre, we need help!" Lincoln said.
Just then Myc walked onto the screen and said, "I don't feel anything. Why, what am I supposed to be seeing things?"
"Is that a mushroom?" asked Lucy as Lily tilted her head in confusion.
"What the hell?" asked Regan in shock, "Are you all high?"
"Oh, perfect," Lincoln deadpanned.
"This is Aunt Regan's team?" asked Lucy annoyed.
"Guys, I'm so paranoid right now," said Glenn before then shouting and waving his gun around, "Hillary!"
"Sadly, yes," said Lincoln.
"We're doomed." Lucy said.
"Goddamn it!" shouted Regan, "Can you guys do anything other than dry hump the conference table?!"
"Let me try," said Brett.
Regan brought the tablet to Brett's face and he said, "Guys? A-dog? Gigi-money? Magic Myc? USS Glenn-terprise?"
"Okay, those are good nickname's," said Lincoln as Lily clapped happily while Lucy shrugged.
"I feel ya," said Brett, "You're scared, and don't know what to do. A couple hours ago, I was cowering under a desk, but now, I'm chasing a robot up the stairs with a 140-poud woman on my back and three children by my side."
"My stationary bike is broken!" Regan in embarrassment as Lincoln, Lucy and Lily snickered.
"The point is we're the gang," said Brett, "We get knocked down, but we get up again. They're never gonna keep us down!"
"Wow you seem like a living motivational poster." Lucy said.
Glenn salutes and asks, "Sir, what are your orders?"
"Whatever her orders are," said Brett gesturing to Regan.
"We need mission support, media suppression, oh and un-kidnap the real President," said Regan.
"We're on it!" said Glenn saluting and Gigi, Myc, and Andre said, "You got it Brett!"
Lincoln paused and said, "Not even going to correct that."
(Rooftop)
The Robot president made it to the roof as Brett, Regan, Lincoln, Lucy and Lily followed behind and Regan cried out, "You're cornered, robot. There's nowhere for you to-"
"Uh, Aunt Regan," said Lincoln pointing to the helicopter.
"Oh fuck!" said Regan.
"I never thought I die like this, if this is the end Lincoln, I want to know the real reason you picked me to go with you." Lucy said.
"Because you're my favorite sister. I couldn't imagine a world without you. Back in Scotland when morag cornered you and the family I was worried I would lose you. I love you Lucy." Lincoln said as Lucy hugged him and he hugged her back.
"That was most makes me change my ways" Robot president said, "Almost."
The Robot President turned and ran towards the helicopter. He talked for a bit then placed his hand on top of the celling and electricity spread throughout the helicopter and it started to take off.
"C'mon!" shouted Lincoln as he ran towards the helicopter.
"Right behind ya." Brett said with tears in his eyes from Lincoln's speech.
Reagan grabbed on to the helicopter and the others followed her, though Lincoln noticed a couple in the plane with them and said, "Sorry."
Brett then jumped on the Robot President and said, "Hurry! Shoot him!"
Lincoln aimed his gun, but Regan stopped them and said, "Brett, Lincoln, Stop!"
"Aunt Regan! This is our chance!" said Lincoln resuming aim.
"He's controlling the chopper with his mind!" said Regan, "If you kill him, we all go down!"
"Guess that kickboxing lesson from Lynn paid off." Lucy said.
"While good, I need to take Lily to the cockpit and try and regain control!" said Regan.
"What?!" asked Lucy, "What makes you think I can fly a helicopter?"
Both Regan, Brett, the Robot President, even couple all looked at her with a deadpan as Lincoln said, "Because mom taught us Lucy."
"Alright, fine," said Lucy as she made a dash for the cockpit, while the Robot President beat up Brett who said, "Okay, this thing is controlling the helicopter while he's kicking the shit out of me? Seriously Regan your robot is sick!"
The Helicopter swerved just as Lucy and Lily made it inside the cockpit, finding an out cold pilot. Outside, the Robot President threw Brett against the now open door, and now Brett was getting hit by the swinging helicopter door.
Lucy, seeing what was going on, quickly grabbed the controls and tried to land the helicopter. When suddenly the Robot President opened the door causing Lily to cry and Lucy to get nervous as she continued trying to fly the helicopter.
"No!" Lincoln shouted as he fired at the Robot President and cut off his arm. The Robot President screamed and turned and ran at Lincoln, grabbed him by the throat and shocked him.
"Lincoln!" Everyone cried.
"Regan, take the shot!" shouted Brett.
Regan took the shot and electrocuted the robot president and saved Lincoln. Robot President glitched and turned to Regan in shock and all he gave was an evil smile before he fell apart.
With that everything calmed, Lucy took the controls and landed safely. As soon as it was the done, the couple unbuckled and ran out of the helicopter. Regan fell to her knees and looked down at her creation.
"Wow, what a crazy first week," said Brett and Lincoln added, "No kidding."
"This robot was gonna prove that I should run the company," said Regan sadly, "Maybe, JR was right the fire me."
"Aunt Reagan you don't deserve to get fired," Lucy said.
"Yeah, this was Grunkle Rand's fault," said Lincoln as Lily nodded.
"I agree Regan," said Brett, "You just saved the world. I'm the one who should be fired, this company can't run without you."
"No, the company can't run without us," said Regan, "You're the charm, I get that now."
"You did a great job motivating the team to help us," said Lincoln as Lucy and Lily nodded.
"They're right," said Regan, "I actually need a mediocre white man to act as a human shield and social lubricant while I accomplish my real goals."
Lincoln, Lucy and Lily went wide eyed at that as Regan held her hand at Brett and asked, "Truce?"
"Truce," said Brett as he shook her hand as Lincoln, Lucy and Lily smiled.
Regan's eyes went wide eyed and realized, "Oh shit!"
"What's wrong?" asked Lincoln.
"How are we going to explain Lucy and Lily being here?" asked Regan concerned.
"Oh right," said Lincoln now concerned.
"Well Lisa said she was sending something that could help," said Lucy.
"And what exactly is that?" asked Regan.
(Cognito Inc. meeting room)
Back at Cognito Inc. and saw everything was back to normal. The real President was threatened to play the whole thing as a hoax and the world believed it. Brett, Regan, Lincoln, Lucy and Lily walked in, carrying a box and JR was about to welcome them until he saw Lucy and Lily.
"And what are they doing here?" asked JR.
"They are here to join the company," said Lincoln.
"And what makes you think I will agree to it?" JR asked until Lucy handed him a box with the special anti-aging cream in it.
"Welcome to Cognito inc. kids." JR said.
"That worked," said Lincoln and thought, 'But will I still have to use that to bring THAT out.'
"Also, Regan, I never doubt you for a second," said JR smugly.
"You literally fired me/her." said Regan and Lincoln with a deadpan.
"So, I'm guessing she is rehired?" asked Lucy as she appeared behind the others and startled them.
"Christ almighty!"
"How the?"
"Does she always-" Brett started before Lincoln, Regan and Lily said, "Yes."
"Well, that could take some getting use to," said JR, "But yes, Regan is rehired."
"This calls for a celebration," said Brett, "How about two-for-one margaritas at Don Cuco's? My treat."
Everyone cheers and starts to leave as Regan says, "Well I guess I better get you kids home."
"You aren't coming?" asked Brett.
"I've got to get these three kids home and check on my dad," said Regan before looking at the insane number of texts from Rand, "Well still I have to-"
"Don Cuco's has a kid's area and an arcade," said Brett in a singsong voice.
Regan looks at the kids who are using the puppy dog eyes and says, "You know what? Fuck it! Let's go!"
The kids cheer and take off after the gang, though Lincoln had to pick up Lily so she could keep up. Brett and Regan smiled and followed the kids out, though Lucy stayed behind for a bit...looking at Regan
'Aunt Regan, what are you hiding from us?' She thought to herself before following them, while sensing a great evil below Cognito Inc.
I'M FINALLY DONE! This was absolute hell to finish but now it is! Hope you enjoyed it! Once again with the aid of beninator5
GAMELOVER41592 is out! Peace!