Chapter 27: Past and Present

Gathered together in the middle of a dim cave, none of them quite knew what to say as they looked at each other. For a time they stood there silently, terran, zerg, and protoss. It was Selendis, the only one of them represented by a hologram beamed from a ship in orbit, that finally broke the silence.

"I am aware this is a setback, but even so we had our triumphs too. We dealt a serious blow to the enemy and the losses we incurred were not in vain. Not all went according to plan, but we were still able to remove the enemy zerg from the board."

"That's easy for you to say," Kerrigan snarled. "The plan was to free the cerebrates and bring them to our side, expanding the numbers we can control. Now they're dead because the attack was botched and we weren't fast enough."

"Do you really care?" Raynor's words dropped like a stone. "I've hardly ever heard you mention any of 'em, even the one that is still with you. Meanwhile I've got many good men in the medbay and many folks who didn't make it." Then he paused, letting out a sigh. "Sorry, we're all upset here. It's been rough for all of us."

The retort on the edge of her tongue never came as Kerrigan closed her mouth and averted her gaze. The others continued to look at her as they waited for her response, but she was strangely subdued, her unreadable expression not giving any hint as to what thoughts were raging within her. After a few seconds, the silence became awkward and heavy.

Artanis stepped forward, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Our concern now should be to determine our next action, not lingering on what has already passed. While some of our people were able to evacuate through the warp gate, there are still a great many stranded on Aiur. Our warriors are protecting them as we take refuge within the forests, but we are also burdened by fighting against the feral zerg and the UED."

"The terran advance has halted for now," Selendis reported. "They are occupied with reorganizing their forces in the face of their losses."

Artanis nodded. "We have bought ourselves some time. But even so, they will strike at us again soon and with the current forces at our disposal, we will not be able to defeat them in a direct battle. The enemy has refused any offer for negotiations; their commander will not even speak with us. We will need additional support if we are to emerge victorious."

"Shakuras is gathering additional warships, but it will take time to prepare." Zeratul's head was bowed, his voice solemn. "The expeditionary fleet we have with us here is the only force that is immediately ready for war. Until then, we must fend for ourselves."

"Not quite." Raynor uncrossed his arms as he stopped leaning against the rocky surface and stood up straight. "My boys have been out in the colonies with the Hyperion and our other ships, gathering supplies and helping to support the folks out in the fringe against the UED and Dominion. I've told them to quickly finish up what they're doing and gather up together in a safe place. They'll be able to head over here to help us out."

"You have my thanks. Any support you can bring is welcome." Artanis then turned to Kerrigan. "What is the status of your zerg?"

Kerrigan frowned slightly. Her voice was languorous as she recounted her situation. "The Psi Disruptor is reducing the effectiveness of our forces, a most troublesome matter. But with only a few zerg left after that battle, the risk of completely losing control over the remainder is minimal. But this is all we have for the moment."

"We may be able to succeed with what we have available to us." Artanis's face however did not reflect any optimism that his words seemed to suggest. "But we must find a way to gain an advantage somehow, perhaps with some manner of a trap."

"It will be difficult, Artanis." Zeratul's head shook slowly. "The enemy commander is skilled and we have already fallen in their trap once before. Base trickery would be of little effect. We would need a more substantial plan. You who have lived on Aiur, are there any hidden features of this land which may turn the scales in our favor?"

The crunching sound of rocks was heard as Fenix's robotic body shifted itself. "There is little in our surrounding area that we can make use of. The zerg overran the area early in the invasion, destroying anything useful. There is also nothing unique about this land which can aid us. Though there are areas further away which may still hold assets of value."

The expressions of several of the listeners brightened, but as Fenix continued that hope faded away. "The primary obstacle to reaching those locations is the feral zerg presence around those areas. While I do not fear leading such an expedition myself, the fact remains that it will be most difficult for us to make such a push, especially with our enemies waiting at our back for a chance to strike."

Zeratul tapped his fingers on the stone wall. "Should no other options remain to us, then evacuating is our only course. Would our fleets be able to hold all of the survivors?"

"Our carriers certainly do have the capacity," Selendis answered. "But our ships would be exposed during the evacuation. The enemy would certainly notice and attack us during that."

"Hey, can't you sneak them onboard?" Raynor interjected. "Send some shuttles under a cloaking field and transfer people a bit at a time. Then you won't need to bring the carriers down low."

Selendis rejected the proposal immediately. "It would require too much time to do so. Each trip would take time to return to orbit stealthily and we lack sufficient numbers of shuttles to do it in only a few trips. Furthermore, if we are detected our fleet will be hard pressed to defend the shuttles."

Artanis lowered his head in disappointment. "Our situation is dire. The UED will continue to bring their might to bear upon us while the feral zerg restrict our movements. Kerrigan, is there any way for you to command the feral zerg and remove them from the area?"

She shook her head, recalling what had happened after Zasz's death and the purge of the Garm Brood. "I'm afraid not. The minions in the brood of each cerebrate are tied to them, even if control can be delegated at times. But once the cerebrate dies, their minions run amok and can no longer be controlled by anyone else. The only option to deal with them is extermination. And while under normal circumstances I may be able to psionically lure the zerg nearby to attack the UED outposts, with the Psi Disruptor active even that is not possible. Though without that, it could be possible."

"And you would propose to have us destroy the Psi Disruptor then?" Zeratul commented wryly. "You've been patient for a surprising amount of time."

"I'm just providing you with options. It's your choice what to do." She presented an appearance of relaxed indifference as she said this, while leaning back against the wall.

Selendis seemed less than convinced by this. "This plan bears too great a risk. Traveling away from Aiur and striking at one of the UED's most well guarded planets would expend our strength when it is most needed to defend our people here. If this venture fails we will have fatally weakened our position here. My first responsibility is to Aiur and its people. To risk everything on a dubious plan to use the zerg is reckless, especially when we cannot even be sure it will work."

"Well it's a good thing that I won't need your whole fleet." Kerrigan had quickly reverted back toward a casual and relaxed demeanor. "A small force using stealth is enough to launch a raid on Tarsonis. They only have to temporarily disable the Psi Disruptor. After that, I can take control over my minions that still remain on the planet and organize them to overrun the defenders."

"So it would seem that you wish for my expertise," Zeratul said. "But tell me, why has the UED allowed so much zerg to remain on one of their planets? It seems unwise for them to have left such a threat at their back."

Kerrigan shrugged. "While they had the Psi Disruptor, the zerg there weren't a threat to them but would still take a lot of effort to remove. And with everything they've gotten up to since then, I'd say that clearing out the sedentary zerg that still infest most of the planet wasn't exactly at the top of their priority list."

Suddenly, Raynor spoke up. "The Confederate remnants running the place aren't as dedicated to their work as the fellows from Earth are. The UED itself only maintains a moderate garrison only to protect the Psi Disruptor. And I guess the Old Family members in charge of the planet have been wasting time with their little games instead of putting in the work to finish eliminating the zerg one region at a time."

"That sounds about right for them," Kerrigan said with a mocking laugh. "And that will make our job easier."

Finally, Zeratul stepped forward. "This plan does appear to be our best option for changing the tide of the war here on Aiur. Without the Psi Disruptor, and with the additional zerg you can acquire from Tarsonis, we will have the chance to return the blow to the terran invaders."

"My folks can also lend a hand," Raynor said. "I'll tell them to meet up with us and then head over to Tarsonis. I reckon it might be easier to sneak down to the surface in a terran transport. Might need to bribe a few people to avoid inspection, but that shouldn't be too hard."

Artanis nodded. "I concur with this plan. Kerrigan, you should go now to gather up what forces you need. We will prepare the ships to slip away from Aiur unnoticed."

It was a motley collection of ships which approached Tarsonis while hidden under a cloaking field projected by several protoss ships. In addition to those ships, the protoss had also dispatched a force of corsairs and scout ships to provide additional support. Accompanying them were a few zerg overlords along with a paltry flock of mutalisks escorting them. Finally, there was the battlecruiser Hyperion along with a collection of terran transport ships and fighter craft. The men aboard were tense, filled with grim determination for the upcoming mission.

Within the ship, Raynor gazed through a window down at the planet slowly approaching him along with the imminent battle. The feelings bursting to the surface made him want to reach for a whiskey, but he held himself back. Instead, he simply let out a sigh from his lips.

Tarsonis. It was not a planet he wanted to see again; not after all that he was forced to witness there. He watched as the zerg laid waste to the most populated world in terran space, zerg that were set upon the planet as a result of his own actions. He may not have been the one to give the order, but it was only possible because of his support for Mengsk and him retrieving the psi emitter schematics on Mar Sara.

Even when they discovered the depths to which Mengsk was willing to go, he stood by and watched as the zerg attacked. He could have tried to stop Mengsk and confront him over it immediately. He could have left and gone to fight the zerg on his own. But instead, he did nothing. The deed was already done and part of him felt the Confederates should get a taste of their own medicine. It was much easier to just not rock the boat and simply watch as the horror unfolded in front of him.

Then, Sarah was sent down to fight the protoss and the rest was history. Raynor closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead as he slumped against the glass. That was the moment he lost her, or so he thought. Now, they were once again traveling together. His mind drifted toward thoughts of the one whom he so loved in the past yet now was separated from by a certain distance, not the physical sort but the emotional kind.

After all these months, he could finally allow himself to feel hope again. Hope that her freedom let her no longer be the monster which tormented him and his men on Char. Hope that she can be trusted. And that might be right. Yet the more he saw, the more he knew that it was undeniable that she was not the same person she once was. She had changed and there was no going back.

While previously she was taciturn and professional, now she was much less restrained with herself, free to act however she liked. It was a kind of primal wildness in a way. Though her hubris had been curbed in recent times, she still had no reluctance to flaunt herself when she could. The old Sarah wouldn't have acted like this. She might have been cold at times while using acerbic wit, but it was always tempered. Though perhaps this was always her natural state once she was no longer beholden to anyone or anything.

In a way, that thought frightened him more. Who truly was the person he fell in love with in the past? Was what he saw now something that had always lurked beneath the surface, waiting for a chance to emerge? Or did the infestation twist her into this? Either option left him distressed.

But even with this new gulf between them, part of him still yearned for them to be able to cross the gap once again. And he hoped that to an extent she might feel the same way. But it was unwise to let personal feelings get in the way of making the decisions he needed to make. He knew that Kerrigan, now the Queen of Blades, was dangerous. Once the zerg were restored to her, she would once more have the power to destroy worlds. And he knew not whether he could restrain her at all.

It was more pressure than a farm boy from Shiloh ought to have been allowed to bear. Yet now here he was, thrust in the middle of an interstellar war with the future of everyone at stake, wrapped up in a convoluted mess of a relationship that was impossible to disentangle.

Raynor looked down at the rapidly approaching world of Tarsonis once more, the turmoil of emotions within him still not calming. Finally, he tore his gaze from the sight and returned to distracting himself with work, making sure that everything was in order before the attack began.

Overlords were quite cramped, Kerrigan thought to herself. In the future she would create some other options for travel, once this was all over. Though when that would be was another question, with the way the war was going. Still, they were finally making some progress. Through the senses of the overlords, she could see the planet of Tarsonis come into view.

She closed her eyes as she leaned back into the fleshy body of the cerebrate sharing the space inside the overlord with her. "Tarsonis… This is where my life came to an end. And my new life started."

"And this was the planet where I was born," Kaloth replied. "Bestowed with the task to watch over you. And you have taken on your new life well. There is no need to trouble yourself with the past."

"The past is not gone," she said with a whisper. "I suppose I still linger on old attachments. But I can't go back to the past. Working against a common enemy only goes so far and the others only see me as a useful tool. I can tell from their words and actions, they have little interest in me beyond that. I will remain alone, always at a distance."

"Perhaps the protoss see you in that light, but what about that terran you speak with? He seems to treat you differently."

"That's… complicated. His aversion to the zerg is instinctual." Kerrigan sighed. "He wishes I could be how I once was. But now, I don't know what he thinks of me. Maybe he doesn't even know. We've both changed and perhaps growing apart is inevitable."

The cerebrate's massive body shifted just a small amount, enough for her to sink into its envelopment just a little more. "Even if they all turn you away, I will still be with you. While I live, you will never be forsaken."

Kerrigan froze as her mind drifted back to the words Raynor spoke to her only days before.

Do you really care? I've hardly ever heard you mention any of 'em, even the one that is still with you.

She shook slightly as she began thinking about it once again. "Why?" Her voice was soft as a single tear fell from her face. "I've never given you anything. Time and time again I ask you to save me and win my battles for me. But I've only used you as a tool. I've never asked what you want, only how I can do what I want. I've been awful to you. So why? Why do you still care for me like this? I don't deserve this after leading the zerg to ruin and causing so many of your fellow cerebrates to die. Why do you remain with me?" She began to lean forward in order to stand up.

The cerebrate's body tightened, keeping her in place. "I do this because this is what I want to do. Do not worry about me."

"There has to be something you want." Her voice was almost pleading by now as the guilt welled up in her. "Something I can do to pay you back for everything."

"That you feel this now is all that I need. It means more to me than you can imagine."

Kerrigan brushed her fingers over Kaloth's outer hide. "Thank you. Perhaps I can hope to find acceptance among the zerg. But for that the zerg must continue to survive. Destroying the Psi Disruptor is only the first step. Then we must break the Directorate's chains. Something like this should never happen again. I'll make sure of it."