The morning found Harry fighting with the three elves as the four of them cooked a big greasy fry up of a breakfast.
Griddle cakes, bacon and bangers, beans and kippers. Toast, scones, and rolls. Three different forms of eggs and two puddings.
The smell of cooking meats and coffee drew the two hungover Adults to the Kitchen from the Den where they were too drunk to even stand up the night before.
"So that is why Father kept the house so dark." Sirius hissed as he braved the kitchen. "He drank his weight in Firewhiskey every Fortnight."
"Quiet Padfoot." Moaned Lupin. "Remind me to return the favor of Last Night to the Cub."
"Yes. The best revenge for causing us to drink like that is to get him just as pissed." Sirius nodded without moving his head.
"I knew you Lads would need a bit of lube to accept the story, but I thought you would limit yourselves to the one bottle." Harry spoke softly. "But you kept calling for another bottle. And Kreature kept bringing it to you."
"Why?" Padfoot.
Kreature slammed two black cauldrons together. Loudly.
The two wizards grabbed their heads in pain.
"That's why." Harry sat at the table. As the Adults settled in, the Elves began to move off.
Harry cleared his throat. "You know my rules."
Kreature sighed, before he climbed up and sat on the booster seat to Harry's left. Dobby bounded into the seat to Harry's right. Winky stomped her bare foot softly.
"Winky. You are still bonded to me. We didn't get a chance to bond you to Sirius last night." Harry looked at her. "Until then, you are family. Family eats together. That means that unless we are Hosting, You will join us for the meal at the table. You are welcome to eat or just sip a cuppa. But you will join us. It fosters a better and deeper bond."
Winky pouted but climbed onto the bench between the two adult wizards.
POMP
Hedwig had taken her time flying to the Burrow. She timed it just right. As she ducked into the kitchen over the heads of the gathered Weasleys, she touched down on the quickly cleared place before Fred. She extended her leg, showing the two ring box sized hat boxes and the scroll. Once her leg was free, she hopped over to Ginny for scratchings and bacon.
The twins read the scroll, unshrunk the maroon hat box, and gapping at the size of the box, placed it by Ron. "From Harry. He wants you to open it."
Ron frowned at them, before he set his fork down and reached for the lid.
Hedwig stopped eating and watched Ron.
Sensing Mischief in the Making, Ginny too watched.
As the Lid cleared the box, twenty spiders the size of the twin's fists exploded from the box and landed before Ronald.
Ronald screamed, messed himself, and fainted.
A flick of their wands had the spiders repacked and the Twins were running for their rooms with the contraband.
Ginny was muffling her giggles in Hedwig's head feathers.
Arthur just sat there with a shocked look on his face.
Molly was fussing over the slumped Ron.
POMP
Crookshanks sauntered into the kitchen, and jumped on to the table.
Dobby was quick to get a bowl of cream and the plate of kippers for the Tom.
"I know that he is more than just a cat, but… wasn't he your Witch's familiar?" Sirius was looking better for the food and coffee now fighting with the booze in his system.
"Crookshanks. And yes, he is bonded to Hermione. He might not be as deeply bonded as Nagini or Hedwig, but his mixed blood covers many gaps." Harry smiled at the cat. "He really hates the carrier. So I convinced him to wear the harness and leash. Considering only the most stupid of dogs or really big dogs even think about messing with him, he is content to strut along on the leash. When he gets tired, he just demands on being picked up."
"So… what are your plans for the summer?" Lupin asked.
"I was hoping to learn the Animagus trick. I will need something new that Hermione can't beat me at."
The two wizards exchanged a look, before Remus stood, and stepping over the snake, stepped into the Floo.
POMP
Rubeus Hagrid was tending to the grounds of the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry when he heard a scream Pierce the air. Looking up, he saw the majestic form of a Hippogriff Buck drifting on the air currents high above the School.
The Herd back in the Forest covered Paddock cried back in greeting. As the brute came about and landed, Hagrid grinned. Buckbeak trotted up to the half giant and butted his head into the Keeper's chest, crooning to the man who loved him since he was born.
"Hey beautiful. Welcome home." Hagrid had to blow his nose and wipe his eyes.
POMP
Thirty minutes after he vanished into the fire, he stepped out of the thin air across from number twelve and looking both ways, he scurried up to the door and used the knocker.
The door creaked open and Winky looked up at him. "Mister Wolfy. Master Doggy and Master bes waiting you in the Den."
Lupin thanked the Elf and hurried to the Den.
Nagini had moved from the damp kitchen to the Den. Judging by the way she was coiled about the ottoman, Harry had charmed it to provide warmth.
Crookshanks was sprawled across another ottoman as the two wizards were sitting tailor fashion on the floor, stripped to the waist.
Padfoot was guiding Harry through the beginning of the meditation exercises to find his form.
Lupin eased himself into a chair out of the way and waited.
POMP
Crookshanks sprawled across the ottoman like a fur rug… okay a fur pillowcase. He twitched his ear as he thought about how he ended up in this position…
[Flashback]
As the cab pulled up to the Leaky Cauldron, and the humans exited, Crookshanks sighed as his slave hauled him out of the black people carrier. It was bad enough that she normally would put him in that little box, but that they would put themselves into them as well…
No wonder Cats were the supreme life form.
At the door he was passed to her slave, so his Slave could lead her parental units inside. As the boy draped him over the shoulders so that he was allowed a better view and control of his ride, he sighed and milked his claws into the male's robes.
The first stop, at the male's instance, was the pet store. Where Crookshanks was allowed to choose his harness and leash. It was embarrassing to be fitted for the Harness, the other cats were snickering at him, but the Male made sure the Female had left the store before buying him his choice of Catmint toy.
"Must keep this away from Hermione. And now you never need to ride in the carrier again." The males scratched behind his ears.
The other cats stopped snickering.
The Male carried him on his shoulders again to the Bookstore.
His Slave had three books on the magics that the male was wanting her to learn. And three on one of her more challenging magics.
Cats didn't need to know all that… that's what the slaves were for.
The male paid.
Back at the Inn, he bought the Father a bottle of wine to entice the Mother… and they packed the Slave and her parents into another carrier, before returning to the alley.
The lad went to the money building…
"Good day. May your profits only grow." The boy challenged the creature. "My key. I need to request a meeting over the next week with the Account Managers for House Potter and House Black. I will be back tomorrow afternoon for further information on this matter. In the meantime I need two hundred Galleons in a bag and five hundred Pounds in mixed notes."
"You actually want Pound Notes?" The creature sneered at the lad.
"Yes. A few of us half bloods that are muggle-raised, but have House Accounts with the Nation, do need Pound Notes for the few items that can not be found in the Alley."
The goblin nodded, scratched a few notes in his book, "Wait here." He dropped down behind the counter.
Crookshanks milked his claws in the shoulder cloth and purred.
The Creature popped up and passed the lad a brown leather bag, a paper envelope, and the lad's key. "Barchoke and Ashraq will be available tomorrow afternoon at sixteen hundred hours. Good Day." As the lad departed, "Next!"
Out on the street, Crookshanks was allowed to jump down and 'patrol' the walk. The human even turned his back so he could drop a pile on the bushes.
When the human made to enter a den, he picked up the Master, and carried him inside. Inside the Den was not a happy place. The human enforced his Domain and Dominion on the Place.
The Servants handled, Crookshanks stayed with the human. When the Human went for food, he went along too. A further patrol and the Human sat down at an eatery outdoor table.
He followed the two humans talking and smirked at the lad's joke. While the female had a minor interest in him, he was too young for her tastes.
Crookshanks hated the quick step back to the Den, but once inside the boy let him down and he quickly found something to hunt.
Dinner by the Fire, he knew there was a reason for the domestication of the two legs. He fell asleep on the table near the fire.
The morning sounds of the human and the Servants cooking woke him and he had to go find a sandbox. Instead he found a human 'sandbox' and with the dignity only a Cat can have, he relieved himself and returned to the kitchen to find a bowl of cream and a plate of kippers.
His Slave had her slave well trained.
[End Flashback]
Now the boy was trying to elevate his status.
Humans are so inferior.
POMP
Sirius' voice fell away to a droning in the background. He heard Moony return… he could hear Nagini humming to herself on the enchanted ottoman.
Then they too fell away. He now could feel the two male Elves, Happily, Scouring the grime off the tiles in the bathrooms.
The Wards showed Winky polishing the Silver with a rag and spit.
He could hear Nagini humming about how she had traded up in the Human Pet category. Hedwig was sleeping in the Roost at the Burrow, her belly full of Bacon and field rat.
Then he was in a white room.
"My Lord." The woman who was seen drinking tea with his mother smiled from about five feet away. "Can I help you?"
"Hey there." Harry smiled back. "I was just looking for…"
"Oh… you mean Him." She pointed behind him.
Harry spun and saw something that looked like a cross between Padfoot and a lion, and hit with an [engorgio]. It wagged its tail as it panted. Then it jumped on Harry, knocking him down and licking him with a tongue as wide as his face.
Then the beast jumped and landed on his chest… and was absorbed.
And Harry fell out of the vision and onto his back.
Harry lay there staring at the ceiling.
"Not bad, Pup." Sirius smiled at the lad. "It took me three tries to find Padfoot. Your Father took four to find Prongs."
"The Rat took over six." Moony grinned.
Harry groaned as he rolled to his feet. "Well I got bad news for you." Harry sighed. "I found it… or rather it found me."
"A Buck like your Dad?" Sirius grinned.
Harry shook his head. "Worse."
"Oh…" the adult child pouted. "A feline."
"No… Worse." Harry pulled a sad face. "I got the worst possible form" he summoned tears to his eyes. "A little Bitch."
The two adults froze. "You're a dog?" Lupin asked.
Harry nodded, looking mournful. "I was hoping for something majestic… and now all I can do is lay around and lick my own balls."
The shocked look on Sirius was almost enough to break Harry's false face… when the man-child roared with great cheer.
"Yes! Nothing beats a dog!"
"A little bitch, you say." Moony sighed as he flipped through the book in his hands. "Well, now that you know the form… read this section and focus on the shape. And from what remember from last night, we have about six hours until your appointment with Barchoke."
POMP
The twins tucked the hat boxes into their hiding hole, and returned to their planning and plotting of the snack boxes. They knew that the 'Nosebleed Nougat' was to wait for when they had someone with medical training to test, but they could guess and theroise the basic brew… and from there they could brainstorm other Ailments.
A knock alerted them to Ginny at the door.
"What do…"
"You want…"
"Gin-gin?"
"You knew what was in the box."
"Did not." Fred handed her the note.
"Harry planned that." George grinned.
Reading the note, Ginny spoke her mind. "Harry would not have done that." She frowned at the lads. "You know something."
"Harry came back from the Maze… Different." Fred sighed.
"He plays the straight man a little too well." George frowned.
"No one sees it coming." They chorused.
"And now that he has contacted you…" Ginny frowned.
The twins smirked at her. "Good Day Sister." They opened the door.
"I am going to go practice chasing with Ron… when Mom finishes washing him after his… accident."
The door closed and locked behind her.
TBC