"So do you want me to just rattle about stupid shit all hour, or are you going to start pointing me on some mind maze?" Chloe was sprawled on the stereotypical shrink sofa, looking over at Dr. Harriss. She was probably about the same age as Max's parents, her dark hair wrapped in a neat bun. So far she had been relatively quiet, letting Chloe rant about the weather for the last ten minutes.
All in all, she wasn't the worst person Chloe had seen, but to be fair, she had a predefined dislike for therapists.
DR. Harriss smiled kindly, adjusting her oversized glasses. "I told you when you came in, Chloe, this time is for you to do as you please."
"Psh. Typical therapist bullshit." Giving me more and more reason to never come back.
The doctor only smiled. "You seem well-versed in avoiding said bullshit."
Chloe lifted an eyebrow, impressed. "Dang, didn't think you guys could swear."
She laughed, seeming to appreciate the confusion. "It's a case-by-case basis. It's not appropriate for all people."
"My last therapist seemed to want to kick me out anytime I started swearing." And so she had sworn more, just to get under his skin. He was probably glad when she decided to stop going.
"How long ago was that?"
There was no hesitation in her answer. "Three yea- hold on." She snapped her fingers at her, giving her a finger gun. "I know what you're doing."
Dr. Harriss raised her hands in a defensive manner, but she was grinning. "Don't know what you're talking about," she quipped.
"Thought stealer," Chloe snarked back. She never cared for mind games.
"They're still your thoughts. You're welcome to share them, though. Getting things off your chest can help you process them."
"My chest is fine, thanks." The more she talked, though, the more she felt that it might not be a terrible idea. Damn Jedi mind tricks.
Dr. Harriss smiled, shrugging. "Well, if you're not ready to - " she raised her fingers to form air quotes, "'dig deep', we can always just talk. Max mentioned you guys went to a hockey game?"
Chloe raised her head, brows furrowed. "Didn't think you could talk about what happened in sessions with others. You know, patient confidentiality and all."
Dr. Harriss shrugged again, hiding what appeared to be a smirk. "She gave me a list of things she thought would get you talking. Perfectly legal."
Chloe let her head fall back onto the couch. "Of course she did. She's a pain in my ass on shit like this." An absolutely beautiful pain in my ass...but still, a pain.
There was a little amused cough coming from the doctor. "You two seem really close."
"Childhood best friends." Chloe frowned. "And now girlfriends, I guess." It was the first time she said that out loud to anyone. She liked the sound of it.
"You've been together about a month, right?" Chloe couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of course Max would share that. She is such a sap.
"Yeah. I mean, it technically may have been longer, but that's when we first started...acting on it, I guess." And what a glorious month it had been. Chloe felt a smile sneaking on to her face.
The doctor was flipping through her notepad, and Chloe wondered what was so interesting about her that it was written down. "You got your GED last Saturday, correct?"
Chloe grinned, feeling pretty proud of herself. "Studied my ass off for that. Managed to convince Max's dad to sneak me a beer during the game that night, too." It had been cheap and dumped into a soda container that still tasted like cola, but beer is beer. She froze, casting a glance over at the doctor. "I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."
Dr. Harriss laughed. "I promise I won't tell." She shifted in her seat, a serious look leaking through her smiling facade. "I also see you recently weaned off of fluoxetine."
"Seems like everyone wants to talk about that," Chloe said dryly. "Yeah, my last therapist thought it would help me...and then I just never stopped taking it."
"You're doing okay with it? No withdrawal symptoms?" It was asked conversationally, but Chloe had been around enough concerned adults to recognize one in the wild.
"I mean, I've been having a hard time sleeping, but that couldn't have anything to do with a giant fucking storm wiping out my hometown, could it?" She felt unexpectedly bitter, but knew it was an overreaction. She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. "Sorry, that was..."
"It's fine, Chloe." There was a pause, and Chloe could hear the gentle scratching of a pen. "Are you just unable to sleep, having any nightmares?"
Chloe sighed. "Nightmares, yeah." Not only was Max still waking her up a couple times a week, she was now jolting awake courtesy of her own terrors, images of Max down in the dark room burned onto the inside of her eyelids. She had taken to drinking copious amounts of coffee before bed to try to keep herself up as long as possible. It only put off sleep for a couple of hours, but it was better than nothing.
Dr. Harriss leaned forward, clasping her hands in front of her. "Well, I'm not a fan of throwing more medication at what could be entirely natural from coming off the fluoxetine, so what I'm going to say is probably controversial to you."
Chloe laughed, knowing very well where this was going. "Let me guess, you want me to keep a journal?"
"I can tell you've had this conversation before." Her tone was friendly, but firm. It was less of a suggestion and more of a request.
Chloe exhaled heavily through her nose. She never felt like she had got anything out of journals before, but if it was what the doctor prescribed, so be it. "Yeah, yeah. Just for my eyes, right?"
"Just for you. If you find you want to share parts of it with me, I'm happy to look, but it's for sorting out your thoughts." She sat back, still looking at her firmly. "If those nightmares keep interrupting your sleep, though, we can discuss them more next week."
Chloe sighed, shaking her head. "You got it, Doc."
That evening, both Chloe and Max were hard at work with their journals at the dinner table. At least, Max was hard at work, writing with a determined look on her face. Chloe had tried, but gave up halfway through the first page, choosing instead to doodle. Her comic strip was coming along nicely when she heard footsteps behind her.
"Not to be snooping, Chloe, but that sure doesn't look like journaling," Ryan quipped, leaning up against the chair at the head of the table. "Pretty sure there's suppose to be some words on the page."
Chloe snickered, lifting it up briefly so he could catch another glance. "It's a comic, of course there's words in it." She slammed the journal shut, glad for a distraction.
He smiled, scratching his beard mindlessly. "How did your sessions go? Vanessa said you both felt good about it." She had insisted on coming along for their first session with Dr. Harriss, mostly so she was there in case the doctor wanted to speak with her. Max had seemed a little embarrassed to be escorted by her mom, but it gave Chloe the chance to sneak a few extra kisses in the backseat...which, come to think of it, might have been the reason Max was embarrassed.
Max's head was tilted up towards her father, but her eyes were still on her writing. "Hmm?"
"Max, stop writing for a second," he requested, shaking his head. Her pen stopped moving, and she met his eyes. "How was it?"
She bit her lip, thinking. "It was...good. I liked Dr. Harriss. The whole therapy thing wasn't as weird as I thought it was going to be."
Chloe also bit her lip, but in an attempt not to laugh. "She put up with me for a whole hour, so that should tell you something."
Ryan openly chuckled. "That truly is something. You've always been a handful, Chloe." He was smirking a little, and Chloe couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"Well, your daughter was the one spoon feeding things to the doc to make me talk." She glared over at Max, who grinned back. How can I be actually mad at that face?
"I knew you were going to be difficult...and you just kind of came up." Max's head ducked back down to look at her journal, her face starting to go red.
Chloe waved a hand dismissively. "I'm hella easy to talk about, I just ooze awesome."
"Ugh, don't say 'ooze' like that ever again," Max complained.
Ryan chuckled once again, pushing himself upright. "Well girls, you have fun. We're turning in for the night." He ducked over by Max to give her a kiss on the top of her head.
"Goodnight Dad," Max responded, watching him go.
"Yeah, goodnight Dad!" Chloe called after him, hearing him laugh as he ascended the stairs. Max looked over at her, a little annoyed. "What? I live here, Max, I'm practically family."
"Well then, you've been doing some pretty inappropriate things with a particular family member." As soon as the words came out of Max's mouth, she started blushing.
Chloe stared back at her, a little impressed. Oh, my sweet Max, how you have fallen. "How did you know I was banging your mother?"
Max's face crumpled in disgust. "Oh my god, Chloe, gross!" As much as she tried to sound angry, there was a little laughter in her voice.
"That's not what she said last night." She had to lean away from the table as Max's journal passed in front of her face. Chloe laughed, enjoying herself. She stared over at Max, who still looked a little flustered. "Did you take your meds already?" she asked, changing the subject.
Max scoffed a little, her face falling. Dr. Harriss had prescribed her prazosin to try to combat the nightmares, which Max didn't seem particularly excited about. "Yes, mother."
"That's 'step-mother' to you, missy. Your mother and I discussed this last night."
Max shook her head, glaring at her. "You are unbelievable."
Chloe felt the sarcasm drop, and a warm smile spread on her face. "I'd say the same about you. I can't believe for a second you'd be interested in a dumpster fire like me." It was a subtle admission, but she meant every word.
"Sometimes, you make me wonder." A smile creeped onto Max's face, though, looking at her with that look of adoration Chloe had grown to love so much - it made her feel wanted, for once.
Chloe dramatically winced, holding a hand to her heart. "Ouch, Max. And here I thought you loved me."
"I do love you." Chloe felt her heart skip a beat at that, and her mind went blank. She stared at Max, who gazed back, a shade of red appearing over her freckles. She probably didn't mean it like that, calm yourself.
Max was the one to break eye contact, yawning. She closed her journal and tucked it under her arm as she got up from the table. "I'm feeling a little tired, you ready for bed?"
"Oh, yeah, I'll be up in a second. If you start feeling dizzy, just holler for me, okay?" Max nodded, a little smile on her face as she headed to the stairs. Chloe sat, a little dumbstruck, her mind whirring. She flipped open her journal, a grin forming as she picked up her pen.
Dear dick-ary,
Max loves me.
Max was laying in bed with the lights off when Chloe came up. Damn, asleep already? She didn't realize Max's meds would put her down that quickly. Chloe changed quietly, ducking out of the room to brush her teeth quick before slipping into bed. Max was lying on her side, and Chloe slowly slid her arm under Max's pillow so she could spoon around her. She was almost in position when Max rolled on to her back a little, eyes flashing in the bit of moonlight that snuck in past the blinds.
"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you," Chloe said, mentally cursing herself.
She could just make out a sleepy smile on Max's face. "It's alright, just get comfortable." She rolled back onto her side, letting Chloe wrap an arm around her waist. Max gave a happy sigh, intertwining their fingers and bringing Chloe's hand up close to her face so she could kiss it.
Laying there, so close, she felt it. She felt the utter urge to spit out those three words she had been swallowing for the past three months. She had to say it. "Max, I, uh." Not those three words, idiot. "I love you."
Max rolled onto her back again, eyes barely visible in the darkness, and for a moment Chloe was scared, closing her eyes. That fear was erased when Max's lips made impact with hers, almost frantic. Max pulled herself away, maybe by half an inch. "I love you," she responded, her voice certain. "Chloe, I lo-"
What would have been a second "I love you" was cut short by Chloe's lips. She felt desperate, like she was trying to make up for lost time she didn't realize she was missing. She pushed herself up so she was hovering over Max, feeling her warmth as Max's hands worked their way into her hair.
She pulled her lips off of Max's, hearing her gasp as Chloe kissed down her jawline, down her neck. Max shuddered beneath her, and Chloe found it absolutely tantalizing. Over the sound of her own heartbeat, still pounding in her ears, she could hear Max whisper her name, breathless, sending goosebumps down her spine.
And then, unexpectedly, Max yawned.
Chloe burst into laughter, and Max squirmed as the air tickled her neck. "Wow, am I boring you that much, Max?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow. "And here I thought we were having a good time."
She seemed embarrassed, her hands slipping from Chloe's hair. "Sorry, I'm just...I'm really tired," she said, rubbing her eyes.
Chloe giggled, rolling on to her back and pulling Max closer. "Probably your meds. Damn drugs, getting in the way of my sexy Max time."
Max laid an arm over Chloe, a hand resting on her shoulder. "Please don't use 'sexy' and my name in the same sentence." Max's head came up for a moment, deep in thought. "Actually, it's fine, I don't want to know what you'd say instead."
Chloe was laughing again. "It would be something far more vulgar that would make you turn far more red." Max groaned, but otherwise didn't respond. Chloe kissed the top of her head. "Love you, Max." She felt a smile growing on her face from the sheer bliss in being able to say it out loud, without fear.
There was obvious happiness in Max's voice. "Love you too."