Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to get this next one up, but I started reading it over . . . it was 41 pages! And they all needed fixing up. Again, 41 pages. It was such a headache I had to keep stepping away from it.
They are completely off duty here, so the developing shippiness is way more obvious.
Week 7
Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
Hotch pursed his lips as he turned his head to look over at Emily . . . she was unclicking her seatbelt.
"And you're sure that you can get home from here?"
Noting the undercurrent of concern in Hotch's question, as she slid the belt back over her shoulder, Emily quickly nodded while flashing him a soft smile.
One so he wouldn't worry.
"Yep, I'll be fine." Then she paused with her hand on the door handle, "my friend will give me a ride back to my car."
That last one was a lie. And she felt a little stab of guilt for not being truthful with this man who had been so good to her over these last few weeks. Really though, the lie was the only way to go, because she just couldn't tell Hotch that there was no friend meeting her. That she was going to her first Lamaze class completely alone, with the plan of catching a cab home once it was over. Clearly she couldn't tell him ANY of those things, because then he'd insist on coming back after the class to pick her up!
Which would of course be incredibly nice of him, but she was already taking up entirely too much of his time.
He was still the only one who knew that she was pregnant, and since she'd told him about it early last month, he'd constantly been going out of his way to help her out. For the last three cases, he'd kept her partnered up with him exclusively just to ensure that nobody else would pick up on that fact that she had morning sickness. Also, he'd been keeping her in an endless supply of saltines and ginger ale, and then last week he'd even started buying her healthy lunches because he, quote, "don't think that crap you eat is good for Baby."
Really, he had been incredible about EVERY part of this process so far! Like amazingly so. And that's why she didn't want to take advantage of his good nature here. A cab was perfectly safe, at least as long as she was armed, so it wasn't at all a lie when she said that she'd be fine getting home.
Though admittedly, it was going to be a bit of a pain getting back to her car.
That morning she and Hotch had gone to an HR training up in The District. And then Hotch had needed to pick up some paperwork over at Justice, so they hadn't ended up leaving the city until almost six.
Right in the middle of rush hour.
There was bumper to bumper traffic all along the beltway. And then, of course, there was an accident. That was the point when Emily had started to realize that she was going to be late for her first Lamaze class.
The class that she was already attending all alone like a huge LOSER!
So she'd started internally having a mini freak out. Which manifested itself externally as her squirming in her seat like it was covered with fire ants.
It had taken about five seconds for Hotch to deduce that something was up, and thirty more seconds to needle the 'up' out of her. Once he'd known where she had needed to be though, he'd immediately gotten off the nearly gridlocked Beltway, and had circled back around the surface streets to get to the hospital where her class was. And of course he had made excellent time with his Offensive Driving . . . aka, weaving between cars at forty miles per hour . . . so even though she had initially been running late, she was now actually pretty early.
She poked her head back through the SUV window as she said goodbye.
"Thanks for the ride," she shot him a grin, "and for the Evil Knievel driving there at the end. I'll see you tomorrow."
He nodded.
"Yeah, and hey," his lip quirked up, "have a good time."
Her eyes crinkled. "Thanks," and she slammed the door shut.
Hotch paused for a few seconds longer, waiting until Emily had actually entered the lobby of the building before he drove away.
It still felt wrong leaving her there after dark, but she'd said that she definitely had a ride, so he supposed it was okay.
It wasn't until he'd taken the turn out of the parking lot that he started thinking about her situation overall. The way that she'd been handling things so far really was so impressive. Even with the morning sickness, (which had hit her like a ton of bricks), she hadn't missed a single day of work! Or even gone home early. She definitely had a much more hopeful outlook now too, than she'd had initially.
That pleased him to see.
And it was funny, but even though they talked regularly now about both the pregnancy, and well, just life generally, she hadn't said anything to him about this Lamaze class until she'd started squirming about the traffic. It had also come as somewhat of a surprise just because he knew that usually women didn't start those classes until the second or third trimester.
Haley had waited until the third.
But Emily had told him in the car that 'The Book' had said starting them this early could be helpful for first time mothers. It could assist them in finding a support system with other pregnant women.
And that principle was especially true for expectant mothers who didn't have a partner.
And not only did Emily not have a partner, but she really didn't know ANY women at all that she could talk to about anything related to the baby. So she'd told Hotch that she thought this class might be good for her.
He thought so too.
But mostly he was just relieved that she'd finally told somebody else besides him about the pregnancy. Not that he minded keeping her secret, not at all, but he worried that the longer she actually did keep the baby a secret, the more people would think later on that she had done it because she was ashamed. And that some of them would then infer from there, that she had reason to be ashamed.
That somehow she'd done something wrong.
And although he worried that was still part of her reticence in sharing the information, he was pretty sure that she'd mostly begun to move past that more negative way of thinking. Which was good, because she had absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. And besides that . . . his lip quirked up in a grim smile . . . he'd already taken care of the sperm donor for her. Of course she didn't know that.
And if he had his way, she never would.
Hotch had an old friend from law school who was stationed out of the Pentagon. He was a SEAL. And after Hotch had done a little recon to determine the jagoff's regular routines, he'd called his old friend up and asked him if they could meet for a beer at a bar out in Anacostia.
It was a place that neither of them had ever been to before, but it wasn't the first time one of them had called the other for a favor such as this one.
And on this most recent occasion, Hotch had arrived at the bar with a picture of Emily's ex that he'd taken on one of his recon missions. And after he'd told Charlie that the face in question could be found at Kowalski's pub on most Friday nights, he'd explained that the guy had done something to a person who was very important to him. It wasn't the type of situation where charges could be brought, but that retributive action needed to be taken, and Hotch unfortunately wasn't in a position where he could do it himself.
Charlie had simply nodded as he'd tucked the photo into his pocket.
So two weeks later, Emily's ex had ended up in the hospital with a broken nose, two black eyes, three bruised ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a mild concussion, and one severely sprained testicle that, sadly, ended up having to be removed.
Hotch was very pleased with the outcome even though he'd hated having to outsource the job.
He was actually royally pissed off about that. But he'd already met the guy more than once. So if he'd done it himself it would have been immediately connected back to Emily, which would have caused her problems.
And she already had enough problems.
This way, the shitbag, drunk off his ass, had inadvertently ended up getting into a completely random bar fight after bumping into the wrong guy on the way to the men's room. And, as always, Charlie was long gone before the local P.D. showed up. And although Hotch hadn't yet decided if he was done making this guy bleed . . . it would depend on whether he caused Emily any additional trauma or embarrassment . . . for now, things were settled.
As Hotch slowed then for the red light just ahead, he glanced down to see that Emily had forgotten her work bag.
Well, that wasn't good.
And when he picked it up to see that her phone, her keys, and her wallet were all inside, his jaw tightened.
Shit.
Okay, well she definitely was going to need this tonight. So as soon as the light turned green, Hotch swung a U-Turn, and headed back to the hospital.
/*/*/*/
Emily slowly walked down the hospital corridor, checking the door numbers as she went.
There had been a sign in the lobby indicating that they were holding the Lamaze class in the left wing, in room 8B. Of course she had no sense of direction, so at first she'd gone to the right wing. And 8B over there turned out to be an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Fortunately she'd picked up that she was in the wrong room as soon as she'd poked her head through the door.
There weren't any women in the room.
So one, awkward, "oops, sorry guys," later, she'd spun on her heel and headed for the other side of the building.
Now let's see . . . she continued checking room numbers . . . 8D . . . 8C . . . 8B! Thank God! And oh look . . . she smiled . . . they even put a picture of a little stork on the door for the directionally challenged such as herself.
Now that she was actually there though, she was feeling pretty nervous. But the book said a class like this would be good for her, to help her develop a support system. And as she reminded herself again, she definitely needed one of those.
So with that thought pushing her ahead, she took a deep breath, yanked the door open . . . and stepped inside the room.
To her relief, even though she'd gotten lost, the class still hadn't started yet.
Apparently Hotch had made really good time getting here.
And as she scanned the room, she quickly scoped out the rest of the participants.
Half a dozen couples. Three male/female, one fairly obvious (from location of hand on ass) lesbian couple, and two other female pairings.
Given the facial similarities, she'd assume the latter were respectively, a mother and daughter, and two sisters.
Great . . . she rolled her eyes . . . she was the ONLY person there by herself! Given how it was the newbie class, she'd hoped there might be at least one other woman attending alone. Fortunately she had also prepared herself for the contingency of being the only partnerless person just because that was generally how her luck ran. And she figured that she might as well find the teacher . . . most likely that woman wearing the 'Hi My Name Is Darlene' name tag . . . and explain the situation.
Well, at least the version of the situation that she wished to explain.
Either way, it would be better to do it now, alone, before she had to do it awkwardly to the whole room when the woman asked where her coach was.
So after she'd plastered on a big, fake, smile . . . Emily crossed the room.
/*/*/*/
Hotch followed the numbers down the hall, 8D . . . 8C . . . 8B.
Yep . . . he nodded to himself . . . stork on the door, this had to be the right place. And after he'd yanked the stork door open, he slowly poked his head around the corner.
He was really hoping that they hadn't started class yet, because the last thing he wanted was to embarrass Emily by interrupting and making her the center of attention.
But as his eyes ran over the room, taking it all in, it seemed like he'd lucked out. Everyone looked like they were still just mingling. And then he spotted Emily in the corner talking to . . . he squinted . . . some woman with a name tag.
Must be the instructor.
So he made a beeline in their direction, calling out Emily's name as he approached. When she turned her head, and her eyes widened in surprise, he held out her bag as explanation for his appearance.
Before he could actually say anything though, the instructor suddenly shot him a big smile.
"Oh you made it!" She exclaimed as he walked up, "Wonderful!"
His eyebrow inched up in confusion.
"Excuse me?"
The teacher gestured over to Emily with the same wide smile.
"Ms. Prentiss was just telling me that her boyfriend wouldn't be able to make it tonight, but now here you are!"
Hotch's eyes shifted down to a rapidly reddening Emily . . . she was clearly avoiding his gaze. And while he was still staring at her, he directed his voice back to the teacher.
"Oh, I see."
Then his gaze shot back up to the older woman and he gave her his most charming, two dimpled, smile.
"Could you please excuse us for just one second?"
She immediately nodded.
"Of course! I need to finish setting up anyway," she tapped her watch as she added in a sing song voice, "class begins in two minutes!"
Hotch gave the teacher a second to walk away before he bit his lip and looked to Emily . . . she was still staring at her boots. So he tipped his head down to catch her eyes.
"Prentiss," he asked softly, "why did you lie to me about meeting your friend?"
At that point Emily was feeling like a complete jackass for getting caught in such a stupid lie, so as she lifted her head she gave Hotch a sheepish sigh.
"Because I thought that you'd feel obligated to wait for me," she bit her lip, "and you've been so good about everything, I just didn't want to start taking advantage and getting on your nerves."
"Emily," Hotch rolled his eyes while reaching over to squeeze her hand, "you're not getting on my nerves. Well," he huffed slightly, "not anymore than you ever did before."
Emily gave him a little smile.
"Good to know, Hotch," then her nose wrinkled slightly as she frowned at him, "and I am sorry about lying to you. I didn't feel good about it."
He shook his head dismissively.
"It's okay. But what's this business about your boyfriend being away?" his eyebrow went up, "you're not still ashamed of your situation are you?"
"No," Emily simultaneously shook her head and pushed her hair back behind her ear, "no, it wasn't that. I'm not embarrassed about being a single mother." She snorted slightly, "I just didn't want to look like a big loser who didn't have any family or friends," she looked back over at him with a shrug, "I figured a traveling significant other would be the best solution for now." Then her brow knitted together as she glanced over to the other members of the class.
"I just didn't want anybody here feeling sorry for me."
If there was one thing that she couldn't stand, it was pity. Her life to date might not have been a cakewalk, but all things considered, she was doing okay. She was healthy, she had a good job, and a baby coming. So she sure as hell didn't need a bunch of strangers giving her that 'oh you poor thing' look. After all, her hope in attending this class was to maybe make a friend or two. And that definitely wasn't going to happen if she got pissed off at these people on the first night.
For a second, as he bit the inside of his cheek, Hotch stared over at Emily.
There was a thought in his head, but he really wasn't sure how she would take his offer . . . if she'd view it as HIM feeling sorry for her . . . but he figured that he'd never know unless he asked.
So he did.
"If you want," he shrugged, "I can stay with you for tonight's class."
Emily looked up in horror.
"God no, Hotch! I didn't mean to . . ."
Realizing she was about to seriously stick her foot into her mouth, she stopped, took a breath, and started again.
"I mean, that's really very nice of you to offer, but it would be an enormous imposition. And you've done more than enough for me already."
Hotch shook his head.
"Prentiss, I was just planning on going back to the office to get some files and then I was going home to work, so it's not like I had any actual plans tonight. Plus," he tipped his head over to the instructor as he added drily, "that woman now thinks I'm the father. And I'm going to look like a complete asshole if I go off and leave you here alone."
Emily snorted, "that's true, you would look like total deadbeat."
He sighed, "exactly. So if you let me stay, then you'd be doing me a favor."
They stared at each other for a moment, both knowing who was really doing who the favor there. But Emily thought Hotch was being really sweet just by offering to stay, let alone offering to stay and trying to protect her dignity at the same time.
Also though . . . she bit her lip as she looked over the room . . . she definitely would be less anxious if she wasn't all by herself the first night. Not to mention, the bonus was that her Traveling Significant Other story would actually be reinforced, because all of these people would see that her 'boyfriend' did indeed exist.
With that last thought, she nodded.
"Okay," her lip quirked up, "as a personal favor to you, I will allow you to stay and be my coach tonight."
"That's really big of you, Prentiss," Hotch flashed her a dimple, "thanks."
Her lips twitched in response.
"I thought so too." Then her gaze drifted across the room and seeing everyone moving, she started to feel flustered again.
"Oh!" Her fist clenched, "it looks like they're starting!"
Hotch's eyes followed after Emily's . . . the other couples were settling down on the mats. Then he looked back down at her panicked expression and gave her a little smile.
"Given that we're already in the room, and we only have to walk twelve feet, I promise we won't be late."
His response made Emily's eyes crinkle slightly and she started to feel a little of her tension slip away.
"Right," she let out a slow breath, "good point."
Okay, this was definitely working out well that Hotch was here. Obviously he was much more capable of rational thinking right now than she was. Just for being there, she was already anxious, but the stupid hormones tended to amp up her emotional reaction to well, everything! But she just needed to try and calm down.
Because everything would be fine.
Hotch would sit with her while the teacher talked, and then afterwards they would have cookies and juice off at that little table set up in the corner. And as she drank her watered down orange juice, she'd introduce herself to the other expectant mothers and maybe make a friend or two. After all, there were five other women here, and she wasn't looking for a BFF, just ONE person who she could occasionally have a cup of half caf coffee with while they discussed baby names and morning sickness and swollen ankles.
Not that she had swollen ankles yet, she just wanted to have somebody to commiserate with her when she did. She just wanted to have ONE other person in her life who understood exactly what she was going through.
That wasn't too much to ask, was it?
As she and Hotch started to walk over to the mat area, all of Emily's happy, rational, thoughts went flying out the window, and her panic suddenly came roaring back. It spiked to twelve when she stopped short in the middle of the room, causing Hotch to bump into her.
He put his hand on her side to steady her.
"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, thinking she was about to throw up or something.
Emily spun around, yelling in a harsh whisper, "I FORGOT MY PILLOW!"
It was in her car! She thought that she'd be going back to the office. Oh geez!
Seeing the look of complete HORROR on Emily's face . . . something akin to going on a raid and forgetting her gun(!) . . . Hotch had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. He knew it would hurt her feelings if he did. So instead he cleared his throat and dropped his hand off her side and down to squeeze her fingers.
"Prentiss," he soothed, "it's completely okay, really. I've done this before, so I can assure you that they keep extra pillows on hand for situations like this," he pointed, "see the box up there? It has pillows and baby dolls in it."
"Oh," Emily closed her eyes and sighed in relief, "thank God." When she looked back at him, she was shaking her head.
"Really, how much of an idiot would I have looked like if I'd shown up here without a pillow?"
To which he responded drolly.
"Yes, I'm sure that you would have been mocked mercilessly and stoned by the town's people, all for forgetting your pillow."
After giving him a side eye, Emily grumbled something under her breath that she wouldn't repeat even when he asked what it was she'd said. So after Hotch gave her a mock scowl, he sent her off to grab the last mat while he went up to get her precious pillow.
The instructor gave him a sympathetic smile as he walked to the front of the room.
"She seems quite nervous. Is this your first baby?"
With a shake of his head Hotch pulled a pillow out of the box.
"No, I have a son from a previous marriage." And then, realizing that the question wasn't actually about him, he clarified, "but this is Emily's first child."
It felt a little strange implying that Emily was carrying his baby, given how he was technically her boss. But then he remembered that these people didn't know that. Hell, they were total strangers who had no connection at all with their real lives. So what did he care what they thought? He was doing this for Emily.
To make things easier for her.
So after giving the instructor a polite smile . . . she was a little too 'stepford wife pleasant' for his taste . . . Hotch crossed back over to Emily where he dropped the pillow down on the mat in front of her. Then he started to take off his suit jacket. And with a slight gesture of his chin, he motioned down to her jacket as well.
"You need to be able to move around," he said quietly.
Emily looked down.
"Oh . . . right.
So she slipped off her jacket and handed it over to Hotch. Then she watched as he took their jackets, and her bag, over to one of the chairs arranged around the edge of the room.
As he walked back towards Emily, Hotch noticed that she . . . and he . . . were getting some worrisome looks from the others. His brow furrowed for a second before he realized what the problem was . . . they were both still wearing their service pistols.
And that seemed to be causing some mild panic.
So he quickly slid his credentials out of his pants pocket and flipped open his badge while projecting his most authoritative voice around the room.
"Sorry folks," he gestured to Emily, "FBI, we just came from work."
Seeing Emily looking up at him in confusion, Hotch gave a pointed nod down to her hip. Her eyes dropped down . . . and she cringed.
Damn it.
When she looked up, she gave a sheepish smile to the class at large while slipping out her own badge. Then she held it up high.
"Yes, I apologize." Then she tried a joke to break the tension, "What? Is this is the first time somebody brought two handguns to a Lamaze class?"
And . . . crickets.
Really, really HATEFUL crickets who were now looking at her like she was a suicide bomber.
Feeling a wave of humiliation wash over her, Emily eyes started to sting . . . oh God, why did she just SAY that?!
Hotch watched as Emily turned crimson and dropped her head in embarrassment.
First he felt a stab of pain in his chest, which was immediately followed by a burst of anger that these people had made her feel badly about herself.
Fucking assholes! She was obviously nervous, why did they have to do that to her?!
He scowled at the entire group as he hurried the rest of the way back to Emily.
For the amount of venom being sent in her direction, she might as well have been wearing a scarlet letter. So he quickly dropped to his knees and reached forward to pull her back against his chest. Then, without thinking, he ran his hand down her arm before he brought his arm down and wrapped it protectively around her waist. And that's when he felt the small bump under his fingers.
Her baby.
He felt a warmth spread through his body . . . he was touching her baby. Wow.
Then he felt another surge of protectiveness.
That time for the two of them, and the fact that they really had nobody to look after them. Well . . . his jaw twitched . . . except him.
Tonight he could be that person.
So when he looked back up, Hotch made sure to stare down every last one of the petty little disapproving pricks who had embarrassed her. Short of actually pulling out his gun and shooting one of them, which would definitely get the attention off of her, that was about the best he could do to show Emily that she wasn't alone.
And to show these people that if they had something to say to her, then they could damn well say it to him too! Because Emily tended to stick her foot in her mouth when she was nervous, and it was obvious, she was very nervous tonight. He shuddered to picture her there by herself right now.
They probably would have tarred and feathered her.
Emily slid her hand over and placed it on top of Hotch's wrist. Then she squeezed it in thanks for his solidarity. If she'd been alone, she definitely would have slunk out of the room by now. But she rambled when she was nervous, and the more flubs she made tonight, the more her nerves were getting shot to hell. God though, who jokes about GUNPLAY at a Lamaze class!
That's just creepy as hell!
No wonder they all looked at her like she was a psycho. All she wanted to do was curl herself up into a little ball. Instead she tucked herself back against Hotch's chest, feeling his arm wrapped around her waist, and the warmth of his body against hers.
It was a lot of physical contact.
But it was really nice, actually. He was like a shield protecting her. In the field she had Kevlar for that, but apparently Hotch worked just as well. She mused.
I wonder if he deflects bullets too.
Then she huffed slightly to herself . . . probably. He was like Superman.
After he'd put his chin on Emily's shoulder, Hotch pressed his lips to her ear.
"Maybe for next week," he whispered, "you can make a joke about strapping a bomb to your chest."
Feeling Emily's body start to shake with silent laughter, his eyes crinkled. Then he gently patted her stomach before directing his attention up to the teacher who was still looking down at them like they were monsters.
Apparently he'd used up all of the goodwill he'd accumulated simply by showing up.
But Hotch never was one to suffer other people's crap, so he just stared her down too. Actually he gave her the nastiest glare in the arsenal because she was the one who was setting the tone for this little lynch mob.
The instructor herself had JUST commented on how nervous Emily was!
But rather than graciously smooth over her little flub, she'd let everyone treat her like crap. And it was obvious that Emily was mortified about she'd said, and STILL the teacher had said nothing on her behalf. He scowled at her.
Bitch.
And as he'd expected from past experience in scaring the shit out of people, he could see the woman immediately get flustered by his look. Her eyes dropped to the floor. Then after awkwardly clearing her throat a few times, she finally began the class.
About freaking time!
He and Emily had been the center of silent disapproving attention for at least a minute now. Like they thought it would just drive them away. Well, screw that! They were staying. Just for spite. Maybe next time he'd bring a couple grenades with him.
Strap those on, see how they liked THAT!
Then he remembered that this wasn't actually his class. He was only here for the one evening.
Damn.
Okay, so maybe he should actually focus in on the instruction part of the class now and leave retribution aside. The problem was though . . . the hateful bitch woman wasn't saying anything that he didn't already know. Not given that he'd just done this a couple years ago. And he was pretty sure that the baby birthing process hadn't changed much in the last ten thousand years, let alone the last four.
A few minutes later, when the teacher told the women to get into the first position, there was a flurry of activity around the room. In front of him, Emily started to shift around.
Then she stopped.
After she'd pulled her knees up and spread her legs apart, Emily turned her head towards Hotch and murmured, "okay, I didn't feel weird before about you being here, but now it feels kind of awkward."
It actually felt REALLY awkward. She and Hotch might be friends now but he was still her boss, and spreading your legs in front of your boss was just WEIRD!
Settling back on his knees, Hotch wrinkled his nose as he nodded, "yeah, I know what you mean."
The birthing position was such an intimate thing and Emily was such a private person. They both were. That was why, although he'd never told Haley, it had taken him awhile to get used to seeing her positioned like that in the classes.
But Emily was already on edge, and they were both going to have to get over their hang ups if they were going to do this. So he tried to break the tension.
Scrunching his brow, he tilted his head slightly, "maybe it would be less awkward if we switched places."
Giggling at the mental picture of Hotch spread out on the mat with his legs open, Emily started to feel some of the awkwardness melting away. So she reached over her head and patted his cheek.
"Thanks."
His eyes crinkled slightly, "no problem." Then his eyes traveled the length of her body and he slid his hand down her side, "like this, Prentiss," he adjusted her hip, "you'll hurt your back otherwise."
It wasn't until after he'd pulled his hand away, that Hotch thought about what he'd just done. Hands on hips is a major incursion into someone's personal space. But, he did just have his hand on her stomach. And that was pretty freaking personal too. And Emily didn't seem to mind, or think either touch was odd or inappropriate.
Okay then, he decided while letting out a breath, so he wouldn't think of it as inappropriate either. They'd had a warm relationship for some time now, but he'd definitely say this pregnancy had moved them to a whole new level!
He might as well keep going with the flow.
Emily gave Hotch a smile of gratitude and then shifted her eyes to the front where the teacher was demonstrating the position, also pointing out what Hotch had just said about proper positioning of hips. Her eyes crinkled slightly.
By helping her out there, he'd prevented her from again looking like an idiot in front of everyone.
Feeling his hand on her shoulder then, she started chewing her lip . . . maybe. No, no, don't be stupid Emily. You can't ask HOTCH to be your birthing coach! Even if it was only so she wouldn't have to go to the classes alone, that was still just . . . no.
Though thinking about it now, she didn't know what she was going to do here by herself next week. Obviously she was going to be a complete pariah from now on. And the point of taking the class this early in her pregnancy wasn't to learn the steps, but for her to make some connections . . . she started to feel a wave of sadness hitting her . . . make some friends.
But she'd screwed that up. It was obvious that these people hated her now. Even if Hotch did come with her next week, nobody else was going to talk to her.
She was the creepy gun lady.
And . . . her eyes started to burn as she looked to the front of the room . . . the teacher hated her too. When Emily had first come in she'd been really nice, but now she kept shooting glares at her as she went through the positions. So she wasn't going to help her, or answer any of her questions.
God . . . the tears began pooling . . . why did she keep ending up completely alone in this?!
Suddenly feeling the shuddering breath going through Emily's body, Hotch realized that she was trying not to cry. He leaned in to whisper worriedly, "what's wrong?"
She moved herself up and pressed back against him so she could murmur, "I want to leave."
Hotch's brow wrinkled . . . class was barely half over. But then he leaned his head around so he could see her face . . . and his heart broke.
She looked so sad.
He pressed his lips to her ear. "Okay, let's go."
So while keeping his arm around her waist, he pulled them both up to their feet. Then he moved his arm up around her shoulders as they went over to get their stuff. After that, they headed right for the exit.
The teacher didn't even try to stop them from leaving.
As Hotch was stepping out the door, he looked back to see the satisfied smirk she was giving him. He was so disgusted with her behavior, that he did something he would never ordinarily do.
He flipped her off.
The look of shock on her face almost brought a bark of laughter out of him, but then he turned to see Emily in the hallway behind him. She was staring down at the tile floor with her arms wrapped around herself.
She had tears running down her face.
All thoughts of levity were gone as he put his hand on her shoulder pulled the door shut behind them.
Seeing that the lights were off in the room next door, he quickly guided her those few feet down the hall and inside the next classroom. After he'd shut the door, he hit the lights.
This space was set up with chairs and a whiteboard.
For a moment he just stared down at Emily still sniffling into her hands, before he made the only choice that he could make . . . he pulled her over and against his chest. Then, with one arm wrapped around her waist, with the other hand, he began to gently rub her back.
He just let cry.
But he was starting to realize now, given his VISCERAL reaction to seeing her upset, that maybe he was starting to develop some feelings for Emily that he hadn't been expecting to develop. That would explain why he kept catching himself staring at her for no reason.
And all that damn, involuntary, smiling.
Okay . . . he shook his head slightly . . . he'd deal with his issues here later. Right now . . . he pulled Emily in closer and tucked his head down next to hers . . . he just needed to think of something to say to make her feel better. But as he thought back on the reasons why she'd wanted to attend that class, he could understand now why she'd be so upset that it hadn't worked out.
Primarily, that she desperately needed a support system. One that included friends who were other pregnant women. And all because of one unfortunate, harmless, little joke, they'd treated her like crap.
He rested his head against hers . . . assholes.
As she sniffled into Hotch's chest, Emily really couldn't believe that she had completely lost it like this in front of him. But he'd been so good to her, that she didn't really think of him anymore like she used to back when he just her boss. Now her first thought of him was as her friend.
And right about now it felt like he was the only friend she had.
As though he could read her mind, that's when he whispered in her ear.
"You don't want to make friends with those people anyway. They were assholes. We'll find a better class."
It wasn't until the words were out of his mouth, that Hotch realized what he was doing . . . offering to go to her Lamaze classes with her.
Huh.
Still sniffling, Emily tipped her head back to look up at him.
"Thanks, but you don't have to come with me," she bit her lip just before her voice cracked, "I'll be okay by myself."
Nice Em, that didn't sound pathetic at all!
Hotch quickly patted Emily's back.
"No, it's fine," he rolled his eyes slightly, "you know it's not like I'm doing anything special with my personal time. I can certainly spare an hour a week to keep you company. I can go with you for now, and then maybe later, after you tell people, then JJ or Garcia can go with you." He patted her back again, "or you know, maybe Spencer would be interested."
As he'd hoped, the visual image of Reid attending a birthing class with her, brought out a snort of laughter from Emily.
Emily leaned back, half laughing, half sniffling.
"God, can you imagine his face if I asked?!"
Hotch's eyes crinkled slightly before he sobered again.
"Don't forget the pregnancy statistics you'll have to look forward to. Yeah," he nodded firmly, "you'll definitely get lots of those."
Huffing slightly, Emily stared up at Hotch for a moment.
"Thank you," she whispered as her fingers curled on his chest.
Hotch winked, "anytime."
And he realized that he honestly meant that. What these feelings were that he had for her, he wasn't quite sure yet. But whatever else was going on, he definitely felt responsible for her now.
And beyond just in the general sense he did for all of the members of his team.
Looking down to see her cleaning her face, he felt a dig in his gut.
Though he knew that she was strong . . . she was actually was one of the strongest people that he knew . . . at that moment she looked so small and vulnerable. And then his gaze dropped further down.
Her shirt was more fitted today, and although the bump still wasn't obvious, now that he'd felt it, he could clearly see it.
Her baby.
It was just her and her baby. And she was trying to navigate this whole new world by herself.
He felt a flash of rage, and in that moment he wanted to pound her ex into the pavement. Just break his face again.
How could he leave her ALONE like this?!
But then he shook his head slightly as he reigned in his temper.
It was probably just as well. Even if Matheson had shown a shred of moral fortitude and had accepted responsibility for his child, it wasn't like a married man, one who Emily rightfully hated, would make a good support system.
No, as she gave him a watery smile and he squeezed her hand, he was reminded that for the time being, he was all she had. And after what had happened tonight, that was all right with him. Because he really didn't have anyone in his life he had a relationship with just because he enjoyed spending time with them. It was clear that his affection for Emily had grown beyond the colleague parameters. And as much as he loved his son, it was nice to care about someone else again too.
It was nice to care about a woman.
That was a part of him that he'd sealed off after Haley had left, so he supposed it was understandable that as soon as he let a woman back into his life, that it would stir up some feelings in that area. But he certainly wasn't looking for any reciprocity from Emily. She'd had enough surprises lately, and she really didn't need to know that her boss now had a bit of crush on her. He was sure that these feelings would pass soon enough, and then they would just be back to the friendship . . . he smiled at her . . . and that would be good too.
And seeing that she'd pulled herself back together, he walked them over to the door with his hand on the back of her neck.
It wasn't until after they'd stepped out into the corridor that he looked down at her.
"How about I buy you an ice cream cone on the way home?"
Emily looked up at him with a soft smile.
"How about I buy you one?"
It was Hotch's nature to always pay for everything. It was part of his need to 'be a man and take care of things.' She huffed slightly to herself . . . he was the Anti Chris. Really, with the exception of the black hair, Hotch was the polar opposite of her ex. But as much as she appreciated everything he'd been doing for her, she'd been trying to find ways to balance them out a little. And if he was going to insist on buying her lunch now, then she wanted to see if occasionally she could get him to let her pay for some stuff too.
Even if it was just an ice cream cone.
Hotch's eyes crinkled as he looked down at her.
"That sounds even better. I just wrote my child support check yesterday, so I'm a little light on cash. But now I can get a double scoop."
"I never agreed to two scoops!" Emily chuckled as they continued down the hall,
"Sorry, Prentiss," Hotch shook his head sadly, "but you made an open ended offer. You should have expected things that could take this turn."
Huffing, she leaned slightly into his side, "fine, but next time I'm negotiating ice cream options before you pick your order."
Though Hotch's lips twitched at her response, he immediately sobered as something suddenly occurred to him. It wasn't until they reached the elevators before he decided to share the thought.
"I know this might seem an odd time to bring this up," he started quietly, "but I was wondering if maybe you'd like to tell Dave about the baby?"
The first time he'd had this thought was last month, but given what had happened with class tonight he'd realized how important it really was to start trying to expand her circle a little more. Not that Dave had any baby experience, or would have any desire to discuss morning sickness or anything else 'woman related,' but he'd be good to her. And he'd be happy for her. And that's what Hotch wanted.
Somebody else to be happy for her.
That way she could start really enjoying this pregnancy. Tonight's class wouldn't have been a make or break excursion, if she'd had what all of those other women had.
People in their lives.
But that wasn't an argument that was going to fly with her. Instead, he knew that he was going to have to just sell her on the logical rationale for doing it.
And so when she tipped her head back to look up at him with a confused, "why?" he hit the elevator button and then looked back down to make his argument.
"He's going to figure it out soon anyway, because it's impossible to keep a secret from him. And also, us partnering up exclusively is not going to be a viable solution for the next three months. At some point a scenario will come up where we'll need to focus on different aspects of a case."
Seeing her brow wrinkling, he sighed.
"I know you're worried that the more people who know, the more likely it's going to become common knowledge," he could see her about to raise her other objection and he put his hand up, "yes, and I also know that specifically you're worried about the team treating you differently."
Noting her nod of agreement, his eyes crinkled.
"Emily, Dave thinks of you as a daughter. He already worries about you. I really don't think he's going to be any more protective after you tell him about the baby, than he is right now."
Seeing that he was making some headway, Hotch tacked on his last good argument.
"Plus, you know if I get called away, he's in charge, and I just think it would be best if he already had all the facts if something did come up."
Now chewing her lower lip, Emily stared at Hotch for a moment, thinking about what he'd said.
Maybe he was right.
A couple of months had already passed and she was much more comfortable with her situation now than she had been when she'd gone to see Hotch. After that conversation they'd had in the car, her initial trepidation and embarrassment had started to slowly be pushed aside. And then she had started thinking of Baby as a real person.
Her child.
And she didn't want her child to ever think that Emily was ashamed of him or her. She knew what that was like.
She wouldn't repeat that mistake.
Plus, Hotch made a good point about keeping secrets from Rossi. Dave had asked her more than once over these last few weeks if she was feeling all right. And she'd started to notice he had a little worry line on his forehead every time he looked at her. She didn't want him to be concerned that maybe she was sick or there was something seriously wrong. That was the last thing she wanted.
She looked back up at Hotch.
"You're right. We can't stay joined at the hip forever. And Rossi has been looking at me a little differently lately, so he probably is going to figure it out soon," she nodded, "I'll tell him when we get back from Montana."
Hotch grinned, "I think you're definitely making the right choice."
He'd really thought she'd fight him a bit. But this was great!
The elevator doors opened then and Emily shot Hotch a look.
"You just want to be able to drive around with a partner without fear that he or she is going to throw up on the dashboard."
"Yes," Hotch chuckled as he guided Emily onto the elevator, "your decision does come with some perks for me as well!"
A/N 2: I've already done 'oblivious to his feelings Hotch' elsewhere, and this IS supposed to be different, so I decided to let him not be a boob. The man does study behavior for a living, it was only going to take him a couple weeks to figure out what his 'symptoms' meant. Emily on the other hand isn't being oblivious, she's just not on the same page yet. But Hotch has the protective instinct thing happening to help focus his attentions. Not to mention his insight to himself about realizing that the moment he opened up his heart again to a woman, even a little bit, that there was a possibility he was going to maybe kick up some other stuff. And because I did want Hotch to 'fall first' that's part of the reason that perhaps more of the story has thus far been coming from his point of view than hers. I tried to balance it, but I know it was definitely a bit skewed. But it was kind of necessary to show his evolution in feelings as each chapter went along. Now, hopefully I'll be able to flesh out Emily herself a little more. And not just through his eyes.
Plus, now that their relationship is more personal and less formal, I can work in a little of the banter. Not quite what we get in Girl, but it's still early here.
Hope you were happy with the face pounding of the ex. It was sad but really Hotch couldn't do it himself. "hey man beating me to a bloody pulp, aren't you my ex-girlfriend's boss at the FBI?" Yeah, that wasn't going to really fly. Not to say that there may not be an altercation at a later date, but it wasn't going to work for a random beat down. And yes, it was supposed to be BAD. Really, would a simple black eye really even the scales with what he'd done? No. And you've probably noticed that this is a world where they often 'handle things,' on their own. That theme will be addressed at a later date.
I've never been to Lamaze so I kind of winged it on the stuff they'd cover in a first class. BUT I really did read an article that said it's thought to be helpful for first time mothers to start going in the first trimester so they can make friends with other pregnant women. I'd never heard that before but it does make sense. And it provided a nice little bonding moment for them, because initially I was thinking Lamaze wouldn't happen until third trimester.
And I would totally have made the gun joke that Emily did and have been completely mortified afterwards. That's actually how it came to me, as soon as I had the nervous glances from their classmates I was thinking 'well what would I say?' Yeah, I'd say that . . . and then have to leave.
Emily's poor sense of direction is not canon, though it may sound familiar because I have it in Girl. The only reason I carried it over here is because I needed for her and Hotch to get to the classroom at almost the same time.
Feedback is always nice :) The Montana trip is coming, and I can tell you that Em will get a chance to step up and show off some of her 'badassery.' I know so far she's been more of a softer version of how I usually paint her, but mostly they've been off duty and we've been catching up with them at vulnerable moments for her. Next we'll get to see her on the job again.