-Naruto-

.

Ok, this is really getting on Naruto's nerves.

Those stupid weird nothing ANBU have been tailing him all day! He hasn't even pulled off a prank in the last few days because he's been too busy practicing chipping rocks with wind (Fuzzy says he's too advanced for a stupid leaf exercise. Naruto's not sure what he means by that, but he thinks it means he's just too awesome for whatever people normally do).

Thankfully, the stupid ANBU finally seem to stop stalking him and actually doing something. Less thankfully, they're trying to herd him somewhere. Um, thanks, but HELL NO. Naruto finds the first alley he can to duck into and change into a bug or something that'll be way too hard for them to track. Unfortunately, he forgets to check inside the alley for people. At least he stopped before he could give away his cool transformation, but now he's in a dark alley with a weird creepy guy that Naruto definitely wants nothing to do with.

.

-Danzo-

.

Danzo waits patiently for his shinobi to lead the child to him. It's clear the Kyuubi container has some sort of unique sensory ability, and changes his behavior and movements according to ANBU. Using that, ROOT can herd him without him realizing it. Yes, this child has potential, but has not realized it fully. Danzo is more than willing to help.

He watches as the child eyes him warily. This is a rather odd place to meet if Danzo is trying to make a good first impression, but this child spends more time angering and escaping ANBU and police than anything else. He is more likely to feel comfortable and in his element in a place like this. Danzo is meeting him on his turf, while manipulating the situation to be in Danzo's control. And now he has a possible perfect Jinchuuriki weapon sitting in front of him, just within his grasp. Danzo internally grins and opens his mouth to recruit his newest tool...

"Are you a pedo?"

Danzo chokes on his words. He stares at this child in utter bafflement. Although, it does make sense. Danzo is more familiar with the criminal world than anyone. Most likely this child is too. It makes perfect sense that he would be wary of kidnappers and pedophiles.

"I am not a pedophile. My name, dear child, is Danzo Shimura."

"Are you sure? Because that totally sounds like what a pedo would say. I'm pretty sure this is why parents warn their kids away from weird dark alleys... "

"I promise, I mean you no harm. In fact, I am looking to recruit you into an advanced ninja program. I can see that you have great potential, but you will not reach it if you follow the standard ninja path. If you take my offer, I can turn you into a true ninja, and you will be an asset to your home."

"Ummm, no thanks. Fuzzy told me about this whole thing when he talked about pedos. What was it? No sec... scendary locashon? Don't go anywhere with anyone you don't know!"

"That is sound advice. You have much wisdom, child. Tell me, why do you wish to be a ninja?"

"Ninja are cool, duh. I know some ninja, and they're awesome. Plus, I get to blow stuff up."

"Then I can make you into a very 'cool' ninja."

"What do your cool ninja do?"

Danzo nodded to himself. Alright, here's the big sales pitch. He put on a somber face and decided to appeal to the angle of friendship. After all, this is a child who's been alone for his whole life and has only recently gained close friendship. He would be eager not to lose it.

"The work we do is not glamorous, but it is necessary. We protect what is important, and do what must be done to ensure the success of Konoha. There are many dangers in the world that seek to take away Konoha's prosperity and joy, and we protect Konoha from those who would seek to harm her."

Naruto narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

"Isn't that what all the ninja are supposed to do?"

"I can teach you to be far superior to an average ninja."

"Then all these guys around here are your ninja?"

Danzo, to his credit, was only slightly taken aback at the blatant revealing of such sensory ability. He used it to lure the child here, after all.

"Yes, I trained them personally to be incredible ninja."

Naruto blinked and shrugged.

"Pass."

"Why so quick to say no?"

"They suck."

And Danzo's mind had to take a second to process that. Is it because he found them so easily? What exactly are his standards, if Danzo's perfect weapons are so low? Why does this child think an average ninja track could take him to these heights of skill? Can he even tell how skilled the ROOT ninja are from this unknown sensory ability?

"And how do they 'suck'?"

"My business, not yours. Bye!"

And Naruto just disappeared, leaving Danzo to rub his eyes and question if that whole thing was just a dream.

.

-Kurama-

.

"That brat is such an idiot! My kit? Follow a man who promotes such a stupid idea? Those shinobi's chakra was so stunted! If it's so well-known that human chakra is made of physical and spiritual energy, why in the world would you consider it a good plan to actively inhibit spiritual energy?! Spiritual energy is strengthened through lived experience and emotional growth. How does he expect emotional growth when all he teaches them is to shove their feelings into some deep dark pit in the corner of their minds, huh?! Truly stupid. And far more restrictive and closed-minded than even the standard shinobi philosophy. I didn't even realize it was possible to be this stupid, but it seems that humans continue to surprise me with their idiocy."

"And to add to the stupidity, he preaches protecting a village at the expense of its citizens? Where's the point in that? All he's doing is turning a village that was founded on the ideals of protecting the next generation and turning it into a war machine that does nothing but destroy the lives of children. His love for this place is so twisted and irrational that he's more than willing to destroy it if he thinks it'll preserve its rotting shell. How utterly pointless!"

"Stay far away from that idiot. His philosophies will be far more damaging to you than most shinobi, because much of my power is at least partially based around emotion. No emotion means no fuel for your chakra, so emotional constipation of that level will only serve to lessen both your chakra reserves and control at the same time. Truly pointless. Actually, do the exact opposite. Why don't you spend the next few weeks observing your emotions?"

"Just go about your days as you normally would, but pay attention to your own mental state. How do things make you feel? How do you react to those feelings? How does your chakra change as your emotions do? Is there more chakra when you feel strongly, or does it simply become more turbulent? Try using the same jutsu in different emotional states. Test which jutsu work best with which feelings. Pay attention to how your emotions affect your chakra exercises. And don't be afraid to try odd pairs; if you notice a particular jutsu interacts with a certain emotion in an explosive way, just go to a more secluded spot and push to see just how explosive you can make it."