-Naruto-

.

Naruto had a good day. Iruka was sick (which sucked), but that meant a substitute, and a substitute meant a teacher who was completely unprepared for Naruto's chaos. The poor guy was emotionally scarred by the end of the day. Especially because he had the kids do show-and-tell (Iruka had banned Naruto from doing that weeks ago, but the new guy didn't know that), and Naruto got to bring in his summoning contract and do a demonstration!

Ah, yes. A very good day. Naruto was walking home with a skip in his step, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of pure victory, when he noticed movement in an alley next to him.

Last time Naruto was in an alley, he ended up alone with a creepy idiot trying to recruit him into his band of mediocre ninja. But there isn't any creeper feeling coming from the alley... actually, it feels more like a scared animal.

Naruto shrugged. Might as well go see what it is. Not like he can't just run if it tries to swipe at him or anything.

And that's how Naruto discovered a little cat and tried to take it home.

Unfortunately for Naruto, having a cat in the same apartment as poisonous and explosive plants is a certifiably terrible idea. He had to lock the kitty in a separate room by the end of the day, and then he remembered he didn't have a litter box... uh oh. Maybe Naruto didn't really think this through. Ummmm... he'll sleep on it!

.

-Kurama-

.

Seriously, this kid can be an absolute idiot sometimes. You don't just adopt an animal without thinking about it! Especially a cat. They make a mess of everything. Especially for someone who likes to keep houseplants, not to mention outright dangerous ones. Ugh. This kid can't think ahead to save his life. Kurama's going to have to work on that.

"I don't see why you thought getting a cat would be a good idea. I suppose at least you didn't decide to get a dog, but why? You could've just left it in the alley. Oh well, you'll probably consider it your responsibility now, won't you? In that case, the best thing you can do is just find a half-decent home to dump it on. The Hyuuga or Inuzuka would certainly be funny, but if you're looking for an actually good home the Uchiha would be better. They have a cat summoning contract, so they know how to take care of cats. They could even ask a literal talking cat for help if something goes incredibly wrong, although it'd be impressive if they could mess up to that point."

Yeah, Kurama just wants to dump a cat on an unwilling Uchiha family because it'd be funny. So sue him, he's done way worse in the name of petty revenge.

.

-Sasuke-

.

Sasuke was minding his own business when Naruto appeared out of nowhere and dumped a cat, of all things, on his face.

Ignoring the fresh blood on his face from a panicking cat's claws, Sasuke glared daggers at Naruto.

"Explain. Now."

"She needs a home!"

"And you couldn't take care of her yourself?!"

"Do you think it's a good idea to have her around my plants?"

Ok, Sasuke could see his point. Yeah, relatively speaking, Sasuke's family would probably be the best spot for Naruto to dump the cat. But some warning would've been nice! What's Sasuke supposed to tell his dad, "Naruto dumped a cat on me so we're keeping it"?

... Actually, that'd probably work. Sasuke's dad seems a lot more willing to put up with Naruto being weird, and Sasuke's mom likes cats anyway.

But that's not the point! If Sasuke lets Naruto dump one cat on him, they'll be a cat daycare in no time! This needs to be stopped, now.

"I don't want a cat. Find someone else, idiot."

Naruto huffed.

"At least ask your parents first, jerk."

"No."

"But just look at her! She's so cute!"

Definitely not cute. Too many claws.

"Fine. I'll just go ask Mikoto-san myself!

"What?!"

There was a chase, Sasuke lost (because if Naruto evades ANBU on the regular, what chance does a slightly above average seven-year-old have?), and Mikoto said yes. Naruto rubbed his victory in Sasuke's face for weeks, and the newly named Menace was very pleased with her new home.