-Shisui-
.
Shisui will shamelessly admit that he only had evil intentions when he made friends with Naruto. True, he did take some of the pranking heat off of the police force, but that was kind of already happening without his interference. Shisui was a lot more interested in the places Naruto could go with some actual instruction and a few techniques to improve his chaotic potential. Ergo, Shisui offered to teach Naruto Body Flicker and to help with improving his speed. Naruto agreed wholeheartedly, and thus a beautiful relationship was born.
Sure, that wasn't the whole extent of it. Shisui was proud to be a good friend and role model to both Naruto and Itachi. He spent whatever time he could with both of them just to be a good friend; even if his intentions weren't always the purest. He did his best to encourage their best traits.
Of course, his favorite trait to encourage in Naruto was his unbridled chaos, but Naruto didn't really need his help with that. Still, it was fun to fan the flames.
So when Naruto brought up his new taijutsu teacher during a training session, Shisui took the opportunity for more chaos with no hesitation. Half the clan knew by the end of the day, and Fugaku was already strategizing for the fight over Naruto.
Kakashi seemed surprisingly unwilling to let his new student go. Whatever Naruto did to convince Kakashi to take him on must have been incredibly effective, because Kakashi easily blew off every attempt of passive aggression, aggressive aggression, and political manipulation that Fugaku attempted to throw at him. Eventually it got so obvious that the Hyuuga noticed what was going on, and started trying to steal Naruto on principle. And because the Hokage isn't an idiot, he noticed the barely hidden tug-of-war over his Jinchuuriki and threw Jiraiya into the mix (even though Naruto has made it very clear that he wasn't taking Jiraiya as a mentor right now). The political fallout was beautiful to watch. And funny enough, it actually took some of the heat off the clan because everyone was focusing on trying to get Naruto. Even better, the kid didn't care in the slightest! He was totally taking advantage of everyone by accepting a ton of presents, training tips, and free food!
And as the cherry on top, everyone can tell that the stupid old warhawk Danzo wants in too. But he can't corner Naruto to kidnap him, and Naruto shuts down every ideological argument Danzo tries to manipulate him with! He even shot back by tipping off the police to Danzo's not-so-secret base, since he knew they would gladly tear the warhawk's operations apart with total legal high ground, just to get on the fossil's nerves!
Shisui absolutely made the best choice of his life when he made friends with Naruto. What goes on in that kid's head, no one will ever know. But he creates the most amazing situations to watch!
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-Kurama-
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Just watch those idiots trying to win over Naruto! They're only making life harder for themselves; why would Naruto be so stupid as to tie himself down to one person or clan? Especially when the Uchiha and Hyuuga wouldn't share their taijutsu? And Kakashi and Jiraiya can certainly be helpful, but only to an extent. They can give a decent all-around education, and could be great teachers in their respective niches, but why should Naruto give up learning from a variety of teachers who can give him a wide variety of specializations for one teacher who will only pass on one perspective? He already started with a built-in teacher, and that teacher told him to find others to broaden his horizons!
Besides, there isn't any point in fighting over a prize that's already taken. Kurama won this fight years ago.
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-Naruto-
.
Not gonna lie, this is kinda funny.
A bunch of people have been trying to get Naruto alone to talk him into siding with them, which was already funny enough. The Uchiha had nothing to worry about; he already really liked them, and the Hyuuga were even better because they were terrified of Naruto and still fought for him when there wasn't even a point here! Naruto wasn't going to limit himself to one teacher! Not like he was going to stop it, though. He probably couldn't anyway, considering how worked up everyone was. Plus, it was funny to watch.
Naruto was being followed right now, but it wasn't the worst creeper it could've been (stupid pedo trying to kidnap him), so Naruto figured he might as well get it over with and let him catch up. He picked a secluded park to wait at, and settled in for the stalker to show up and start talking. Of course, the idiot sat to watch Naruto for a while (he thought he was being sneaky. He was not.), so Naruto got impatient and pulled a little bit on Fuzzy's chakra to make the pervert panic.
That definitely did the trick. The pervert immediately fell out of his tree and made a beeline for Naruto. Of course, Naruto pushed Fuzzy's chakra back down (ignoring Fuzzy's indignant screech at being woken up so suddenly) so the pervert didn't do anything too stupid. Naruto didn't want to deal with being kidnapped or sealed away or dumped in a prison or anything. Which honestly seemed like the most realistic reactions based on the weird pervert's weird vendetta against Fuzzy. Seriously, how do you get so scared of a little kid's dreams?
Pervy Sage hyperventilated for a few seconds before finally getting a hold of himself, stared at Naruto, visibly decided he wasn't paid enough for this, and dropped the biggest bomb he could.
"You know Fuzzy's the Kyuubi, right?"
Which, ok, that kind of makes sense but also Naruto doesn't really trust the pervert right now. Weird belly fetish and shameless masochistic tendencies aside, Fuzzy's been way more helpful than this weirdo. And besides, ninja tend to be way too closed-minded. If Fuzzy is the Kyuubi, then he's thoroughly proven to Naruto that he's not a mindless demon and isn't even particularly evil. Petty? Yes. Vindictive? Most definitely. Would devastate nations because it's funny? Probably. Evil? Debatably, but not definitely. So Naruto responds the only rational way he can.
"The Kyuubi is a fox, right? I was right! He's Fuzzy!"
And he just leaves while Jiraiya has a mental breakdown in the park.
And Kurama screamed in both victory and fury the whole night.