-Teuchi-
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"Hey, Old Man Teuchi, what's owning a restaurant like?"
Teuchi paused to look at Naruto in confusion.
"What brought that on?"
Naruto grinned brightly.
"I want a coffee shop!"
Huh. Well, Naruto does certainly have the funds to start a shop (although Teuchi doesn't know where he got them.). It might be a good idea for Naruto to invest that money now to set himself up for a relatively easy future. Especially if he wants to be a ninja. Teuchi's heard that genin don't get paid much, so it would be hard to pay the bills on a genin's salary alone.
Still, a child would have a difficult time setting up a business. If that's something Naruto's serious about, Teuchi wants to make the process as easy as possible.
"Well, you need a building or a stall to start with. Then you'll need to register for a permit. You'll have to go to the right administration, but I'm sure the Hokage would be happy to help you set everything up. It might take some experimentation; you'll have to learn when customers come in to set your business hours, and how much you need to stock up on supplies... "
Teuchi gave Naruto a relatively bare-bones description of how to set up a business. He offered to help Naruto with the specifics, just to fill in the gaps and make sure he was doing it right. Naruto was actually a diligent student when he was invested in the material, and he had a surprisingly impressive memory, so Teuchi wasn't too worried about him. Plus, the Hokage would certainly be willing to help.
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-Hiruzen-
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Hiruzen had been very contemplative lately. He'd been able to talk to Naruto a few times after that first compromise, and it was incredibly enlightening. While Hiruzen had known that the Kyuubi was most likely not entirely mindless (how could a mindless being be so known for mischief and deceit?), the complexity of its mind was far beyond the expected simple thirst for freedom and destruction. It's not exactly a shinobi's job to ponder things such as morals and what-ifs, but imagine if the founders of Konoha had made an alliance with the Kyuubi instead of imprisoning it? Of course, that idea was rather far-fetched. The Kyuubi apparently compares itself to a natural disaster quite often, and making an alliance with a natural disaster is a fool's errand. But making an enemy of one is even more stupid, and there's always the possibility of negotiation with sentient beings...
Hiruzen's ponderings were interrupted quite suddenly by the sudden thud of a chaotic child knocking on the window. Unfortunately, it seemed that Naruto was beginning to take after his taijutsu instructor in some ways. With an exasperated sigh, Hiruzen opened the window to let the gremlin in.
"Hi Jiji! Do you mind helping me out with something?"
"Oh? What might that be?"
"I want a coffee shop!"
Well, Hiruzen had been expecting far worse. He suspected that Naruto had been involved in that black market a few months ago, so it would actually be good to bring him into a legitimate business. The decision was practically made for him.
And besides, if Hiruzen was lucky this would distract both Naruto and the Kyuubi for a bit. So long as they're entertained, the village can have a well-deserved rest.
(Hiruzen didn't realize that Naruto could have clones run the shop for him.)
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-Naruto-
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Naruto's coffee shop is in business! It's not a big one or anything, but it's still a shop! This is an absolute win. Naruto discovered a while ago that he's a natural baker (he had a ton of fun when his foxes showed him how to make cookies), and making coffee has always looked fun! Plus, he can taste test as much coffee as he wants. Fuzzy was so happy when he found out!
Although Naruto's been feeling the caffeine less. Maybe he's building up a tolerance. Man, that sucks. He'll have to find a new training tool then.
But that doesn't matter right now! Naruto's got fresh donuts, hot coffee, and a whole shop with cute fox mascots! They're really popular with foreigners, which is great because now they'll stop hounding Naruto all the time for pets. Sure, Naruto loves petting furry things, but his foxes love attention almost as much as he does and they get bored of the same person petting them all the time. Picky much?
And Naruto can even have his clones run the shop when he wants to do something else. So this is actually freeing up some of his time instead of keeping him busy!
Plus, Naruto and Fuzzy both love writing weird stuff all over the donut boxes. Seeing customers' faces when they see the notes is priceless. After a few weeks, regulars even start arguing over who got the best dumb note!
Some highlights:
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! But why is that an answer? Where is the chicken going? What's on the other side? Why does the chicken want to get there bad enough to cross a road? Deep questions.
If A likes B and B is C, then doesn't A like C? NO! A likes B, you weirdo.
"It's treason, then." - The Senate
Is Earth a potty for the clouds?
And some various ads for the totally not made-up Narutoism cult. Again, no comments as to where this supposed cult originated. People have freedom of religion to worship whatever they want.
It actually became very popular with the women, because Naruto had a very strict "No perverts" policy. Jiraiya was very offended, and this is probably the only restaurant in Konoha to actively turn away the Hokage every time he tries to visit. Probably not good for the Hokage's reputation, so he just stays away.
Of course, it was all fun and games until a crazy purple-haired nightmare appeared, decided she liked the donuts, and became a regular. Although, she was downgraded to only occasionally nightmare fuel when Naruto realized she was an incredible source of inspiration for pranks.
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A/N - I work at a pizza place and wrote weird notes all over the pizza boxes one night because I was incredibly bored. Unfortunately, the manager told me to stop that the next day so I'm grieving my lost source of entertainment
Also setting up the next chapter because I'm really looking forward to the punchline