A/N: (Updated April 4, 2022)
Disclaimer: Me no own ASOUE. Say it with me: "Me…no…own…ASOUE." Good. Now go play with your friends. Oh, and tell them I said hi. ^_^
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Chapter 9:
What's The News?
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I jerked awake, again. I didn't even make it a full paragraph and I was already dozing off for the hundredth time. I didn't sleep at all last night after what I read. No. That headline tortured me all night long. And here I was, sitting at Dr. Montgomery's desk, zombified out of my mind, trying to make it through this book on an empty stomach. I was way too tired to eat. In fact, I was so tired that I didn't want to do anything, but Jacques was counting on me. I had to find those access codes, hopefully before he came back.
I read two more paragraphs before stumbling across another fact I should write down. I picked up my pencil and began to jot it in my notebook––snap!
"Damn it," I growled, scowling at the tip. I looked all around the desktop. No pencil sharpener. I pulled open one of the desk drawers.
Files.
Nope. I pulled open another drawer.
Office supplies and––what the––?
Resting on top of a stack of printer paper was a spyglass, begging to come out and play. Grinning at my find, I picked it up and looked it over. This must've been Dr. Montgomery's. Bereft of all contaminants, not a single scratch on it… Did he even use it? This thing looks like it's never been on an adventure before. I stared at it for awhile, pondering what to do with it. This wasn't mine after all, and I never got Jacques's permission to keep it. But, Dr. Montgomery was dead and Jacques was on a mission right now, so…
I hooked the spyglass on my belt and resumed my search for a pencil sharpener. After some digging around in the same drawer, I found a tiny black one in a small wire basket filled with paperclips. I sharpened my pencil, put the sharpener in my sweatshirt pocket, and finished writing down my findings. I looked to see how much more reading I had to do. Ugh, I wasn't even halfway through this thing. I sighed, disappointed. This was going to be another day in paradise.
/
(Four Days Later…)
.
Finally. The last book is done. Exhausted and relieved, I closed it and looked out the glass wall, watching the day enter its violet hour. All of Dr. Montgomery's library had been read and still no access codes. I didn't know what else to do at this point. Time was running out and my patience was wearing thin. I hadn't heard from Jacques, so I wasn't sure how the progress was going on rescuing Duncan and Isadora. I sighed. I hope they're alright. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them. Where I'd go, what I'd do. I'd imagine I'd still be working for V.F.D., but God only knows what would happen to me in the end. On second thought, I didn't want to know.
I leaned back in the chair and stretched. The only thing I could do now was wait for Jacques to get back and tell him the bad news. The only problem is finding a way to pass the time until then. None of the other books I read had maps in them, so I couldn't copy them into my notebook. But, there was a small stack of Daily Punctilios on the floor.
I reached over and grabbed one. Examining the front page, I realized this was the most recent issue, aside from the one about Duncan and Isadora. No. I wanted to start from the beginning. I shuffled through the issues until I found the oldest one, then I read the headline:
.
BAUDELAIRE MANSION BURNS DOWN
.
I tipped my head, intrigued. Hmm. Maybe I can get a little backstory on Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. See what I'm up against. I read on.
.
The Baudelaire mansion caught fire today at 1:46 p.m.
this afternoon. Bertrand and Beatrice Baudelaire were
pronounced dead shortly after the authorities arrived on scene.
The cause of the fire is currently under investigation by the
local fire department. The Baudelaires' children, Violet,
Klaus, and Sunny, are to be placed in the care of Arthur and
Eleanora Poe until they can find an official guardian for them.
Stay tuned for an update.
.
Huh…I never knew they lived with Mr. Poe at some point. I grabbed the next issue.
.
BAUDELAIRES TO LIVE WITH NEW GUARDIAN
.
The Baudelaire children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, have
been given a new home. They've officially been placed in the
care of local actor Count Olaf, their fourth cousin three
times removed, of Kenny St..
.
Count Olaf was related to them? That's scary. I grabbed the next issue.
.
EXCITING NIGHT AT THEATER, ORPHANS RESCUED!
.
Local actor Count Olaf, writer, director, and producer of the
production The Marvelous Marriage, is being charged with
child endangerment after attempting to marry Violet
Baudelaire, 14, in order to gain access to the Baudelaire
fortune. He was last seen at Tenebrous Theater on
Steer Ave.. If you know anything about Olaf's
whereabouts, please call the authorities at
999-667-1313.
.
The picture below the headline was of Violet and Klaus on stage with Count Olaf, a judge, and two women with white powder all over their faces. Looking quite proud, Count Olaf was dressed in a powder blue colonial costume with a white wig. I grimaced. God, what a sick man. To force a child to marry you when you're in your forties for money...and maybe other things. There's just…no words to describe how messed up that is. Klaus, however, looked mortified and was dressed in a white sailor costume, which is an image I'll never be able to get out of my head, unfortunately. And Violet?
Wow.
Her long dark hair was now wavy and she was dressed in a stunning white dress, a halo of pink and white flowers wrapped around her head like the angel she was.
She was beautiful.
Hypnotized, I stared at her for quite some time, fighting for air. I didn't even know her and she'd already made my heart stop. In fact, I don't think I could ever get it started again. But there was something wrong with this picture.
She was terrified.
I looked from her to Count Olaf, and in no time at all, my heart started to beat again, but not out of excitement. That look on her face said it all: this man was a monster. And I was going to be the knight in shining armor that was going to save her from him. Her fear was all the more reason to find the Baudelaires. I thought about Duncan and Isadora. That very man kidnapped them. He'd messed with Violet, he'd messed with my family…
And he was going to pay for it.
/
It took some time, but I'd finally read the whole stack of Daily Punctilios, right up to the one about Duncan and Isadora. The Baudelaires had quite a hellish backstory. I learned that they were related to Dr. Montgomery and that Count Olaf had murdered him; I learned that Count Olaf had fed their Aunt Josephine to the Lachrymose leeches right after she'd eaten; I learned that the Lucky Smells Lumbermill accident was due to Klaus being hypnotized by Dr. Georgina Orwell; I learned about all the horrible schemes Count Olaf had hatched to steal the Baudelaire fortune; I'd learned a lot in almost half an hour, and frankly, all this information made me sick. No wonder Jacques was looking for them––he wanted to save them from this guy. And now, I wanted to save her––er, them––from this guy.
I looked around the room. There had to be something else to read. I looked at the papers scattered all over Dr. Montgomery's desk. Hmm. I wonder what Jacques was researching before he left… I began shuffling them around, trying to find something to read when I came across a tiny object taped to a piece of paper. It appeared to be two prongs from a plug wrapped around each other with a thumbtack between them. I picked up the paper and read the memo scrawled under it: Violet Baudelaire's lockpick, the invention used to foil Stephano's plan. Reassembled for research purposes.
She was an inventor? My eyebrows rose in astonishment. She'd fashioned a lockpick out of things I'd never dream would work together. And it worked, according to the note. Wow, that's…impressive. Not only was she pretty, but she was intelligent. And crafty, too. I felt my crush worsen. I couldn't believe it. I was in love with a female MacGyver. I had to meet her now.
Wanting to get a better look at Violet's contraption, I carefully untaped the lockpick and examined it some more, marveling her ingenuity. Just then, as I turned it over, I dropped it and it scattered under the desk. Afraid that I might've broken her masterpiece, I dove down to grab it. I was on my way back up when I smacked my head, hard. I winced, rubbing the spot that was throbbing. Damn that hurt. I looked to see what I'd hit my head on. Wedged under the desktop was a big, thick, black book. Puzzled, I set Violet's lockpick down, grabbed it, and pulled. It took some effort, but I finally managed to free it from its hiding place. I looked at the title. In reflective gold letters were the words The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations.
Secret organizations? This book was about V.F.D.! It had to be. Itching for answers, I opened the book to the first page and found a stray piece of paper with riddles scribbled on it. I picked up the sheet and examined each one.
.
1.) The name of the scientist most widely credited with the discovery of gravity.
2.) The Latin name for the Volunteer Feline Detectives.
3.) The central theme of Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina.
.
Okay. The first one is Isaac Newton. Easy. The second one I'd just read in Remarkable Phenomena of the Mortmain Mountains: panthera leo. But the third one…that one threw me for a loop. I had no clue what the answer was. I didn't read it. And I didn't see any Leo Tolstoy books in Dr. Montgomery's library, either, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I looked at the top of the page where three words were written: Vernacularly Fastened Door.
My eyes lit up, a grin spreading across my face.
I'd found the access codes.