TMNT: Lullabye for You

Ch.6~ Across the Universe

Everyone was asleep. Even Father joined us in the main room. He had fallen asleep in his chair. Mikey and Don were cuddled up together near my feet and Leo was asleep leaning against the couch by my head. I found myself unable to fall asleep. It felt like if I closed my eyes I would wake up like this was a dream.

I turned my head to look at Leo's sleeping face. He looked so much older now, and his normally bright eyes were dull. How long had I been gone? How long did it take for Leo to change like this?

"Raphael, are you still awake my son?" Father said his voice laced with a sleepy grumble.

"I am…" I admitted, I heard the chair creak and he walked over and knelt at Leo's feet.

"You need rest my son." he reminded me, I nodded.

"I know, just can't… What if when I wake up this is all a dream…" I muttered, he nodded understandingly.

"Then I believe it is time for a lullaby," Father stated.

Clearing his throat, Father began to softly sing a lullaby he had sung when we were little. His bony hand gently patted my arm, and I found myself relaxing. Soon, my eyes were becoming heavy, and I struggled to remain awake. I was unable to resist the call and fell to sleep, mumbling something I could barely understand.

(Later)

I awoke to the sound of what sounded like sobbing, I blinked my eyes a few times before fully opening them. The familiar view of bricks filled my view making the tension in my body ease a bit. Turning my head toward the sound of crying I saw Leo sobbing quietly into his hands. He had moved away from me and closer to the TV his legs pulled to his chest.

"Leo?" I quizzed in confusion.

He didn't seem to hear me, I forced myself to sit up. I needed to get his attention, but how? Scanning the couch I found a loose pillow, grabbing it I flung it at Leo. The pillow hit Leo in the head and his head popped up. His face was stained in tears, his eyes were wide and panicked.

"Come here," I stated and patted my lap.

Leo seemed unsure but did eventually crawl over and sat before me. I grabbed his head and brought it to rest in my lap. I petted his head and began to hum softly. He began to tremble as he returned to silent sobs. His hands gripped the blanket over me as I felt his tears wet the blanket.

"Lullaby for you and for all, may we all fall asleep tonight. If I fall someone will catch me and I will never fall again. Sleeping soundly under the stars, making wishes for a brighter start. Under the moon, we sing a lullaby for you and for all. Dancing quietly to your own beat, making moves that flow through all time. Singing softly, singing loud, don't wake the child that sleeps so sound. Lullaby for you my dear, fall asleep and don't wake up till morrow. I shall stay awake in the night under the moonlight and sing a lullaby for my dear. Lullaby for you my dear, don't worry when the night is here. I'll sing softly as you sleep and no harm shall befall us. Lullaby please close your eyes I shall sing this till you fall asleep, so lullaby, please close your eyes and I wish you a great nights sleep.. Lullaby for my dear, close your eyes till the morrow." I sang softly.

"Raph." Leo said, and I felt him raise his head off my lap.

I flushed as he moved in close his hands moving to hold mine. He moved in closer and his lips ghosted mine before he moved to nuzzle my neck. His breath made my skin tingle and my lower body warm. A sound left me that I couldn't stop or even identify.

"You're scent, it drew me. That day, I ran because I didn't understand how to suppress these feelings I have for you." Leo explained, I shivered as he scented my neck. "I won't hide my feelings, not anymore."

"Leo… I… I have feelings for you I don't understand… In that place… You were the voice that kept me going, I imagined I was in your arms. I wanted you to be there when I…" I began but the image of them overcame me.

"Raphie, it's okay. You're home. I'm here." Leo soothed cupping my cheeks and swiping his thumbs across my cheeks.

"I see them… Their little bodies… I didn't even get to hold some of them…" I whimpered, Leo hushed me. "I wanted them to live, I wanted to bring them home with me…"

"You will never have to go through that again."

"I just want my babies."

"I know…"

"They were all I had."

"Let's make a butsudan for them."

"But I don't have a photo?"

"We can use something else, whatever holds meaning for you. I can't bring them home but I can at least help you honor their spirits."

I nodded and Leo nuzzled our beaks together before he gently pushed me down. He leaned over my chest his arms around me as he looked at me with a loving gaze. I was at ease as he began to hum and churr softly. Soon I found myself drifting off under his caring gaze.

(Leo's POV)

I gently helped Raph into the tub, Don wanted us to keep him as clean as possible as he healed. He churred and sank into the tub seemingly enjoying the warmth. I sat beside the tub and watched his large tail gently swish in contentment.

"Brought some warmer clothes. Dad said we could go to the dump tonight to look for more." Mikey chimed, I smiled as he set the clothes on a stool.

"Thanks, Mikey." I thanked as Mikey peeked over the tub at Raph.

"You good Raphie?" Mikey quizzed, Raph gave a thumbs up.

"Oh, Donny said that once you're all done and dressed he wants you to try and eat something. How does soup sound?"

Raph gave another thumbs up and I chuckled as I saw Raph was mostly under the water now. Mikey nodded and waved before heading off into the main area. I leaned onto the edge of the tub as I watched Raph relax. My gaze drifted down to the large scar over his stomach and then to his exposed groin. I felt myself grow warm and forced my gaze away.

"Leo, do you think you can ask Don or Mikey to get me something on their dump trip?" Raph asked, I nodded.

"Of course Raph, what did you want?" I quizzed, he looked slightly embarrassed.

"A small plush bear, I want that for the altar…" Raph stated, I nodded,

"I'm sure they can find one for you." I soothed, Raph moved to lean over the side by me. "Raph?"

"You do realize that I'm not like you or our brothers… I'm not really a boy…" Raph stated.

"You want to be a boy, don't you?" I asked, he flushed.

"I do I just… I'm not…"

"You're a boy, you're Raph. Being able to have babies doesn't make you any less of a boy," I assured him. He looked at me surprised.

"You really mean that," he stated.

"Of course I do, you're my little brother and I love you so much. If you want to be a boy then you're a boy." I soothed, he teared up and nodded.

"I love you too, I just…" he whimpered, I moved closer and pulled him close ignoring the water seeping down onto me.

"You're Raphael, nothing will ever change that." I comforted.

"Even if I have babies?"

"Even if you had a million babies."

(Raphael's POV)

I blushed as Leo helped me dress in the new clothes Mikey and Don had found. He was so gentle as he helped me get dressed that I felt warmth pool in my abdomen and heart. These feelings I had for him felt like they were bursting out.

"How do they feel? Mikey said he can adjust them if you need?" Leo asked.

"They fit fine, my tail is not being restricted," I answered, Leo nodded and grabbed the jeans.

"Hopefully these work too, I think Mikey made the hole a tad bigger on these," Leo informed, I nodded and let him help me slip on the jeans. "So do they fit?"

"They do but may need a belt," I admitted, Leo reached out and grabbed a spare weapons belt.

"Think this will work?" Leo asked, I nodded and he helped me thread the belt and tie it off.

"Which shirt and sweater?" Leo asked, I pointed to the band shirt and black hoodie. "Alright let's get these on."

I nodded and soon I was completely dressed, I felt a tad less exposed in this. It was odd to feel that way, but soon I needed to regain the strength so Leo didn't have to help me. Having him help me made me feel warm and my slit slicked. It was embarrassing.

"Ready to head out?" Leo asked. I nodded and squeaked as he scooped me up bridal-style.

"Leo I gotta try walking," I complained but he shook his head carrying me out of the room.

"Not until you've gained some weight, Don said you're too weak to begin rehab yet," Leo informed, I huffed crossing my arms.

"Oh, did it all fit good?" Mikey chimed, I nodded and Leo set me down on the couch.

"It's great, thanks Mikey." I thanked and rubbed Mikey's head.

"Oh Mikey there is something Raph was hoping you could get for him," Leo said, I sunk back as Leo whispered in Mikey's ear.

"Gotcha, don't worry Raphie leave it up to me!" Mikey chimed, I nodded.

"Here Raphie, you need to start eating more smaller meals," Don stated as he approached offering me a bowl.

I took the bowl and looked at my food, more rice porridge but it seemed a bit different. I carefully took a spoonful, it was not the usual broth, it appeared more creamy. I carefully ate, even this pitiful portion felt large. My stomach must still be recovering.

"No stomach pain or anything?" Don asked, I shook my head.

"No, just feel fuller faster," I answered, he nodded seeming in thought.

"For now let's have you try and eat something small six times a day. We can cut back and increase portions every few weeks." Don mumbled not really to anyone. "I'm going to read up more on this. Mikey we should look for more medical texts when we go to the dump."

"On it, but first I gotta find Raphie something." Mikey chimed, Donnie looked confused.

"Oh, did you need something Raph?" Donnie asked looking concerned.

Leo seemingly sensing my discomfort whispered something to Don. Don's expression softened and he nodded giving me a soft smile. Leo moved and sat beside me and took my hands in his. I blushed as he pulled my hands to his chest.

"We're here, if you need to talk. You don't have to hold onto this alone…" Leo hushed, I teared up.

"I… Thank you…" I replied, Leo leaned over and kissed my forehead.

I'm home.

I really am home.

(Donatello's POV)

I removed the thermometer from Raph's mouth, seems Leo wasn't mistaken. He had a fever. A fairly high one. I need to find a way to get his fever down and then work on finding out what is wrong. Father will need to search hard to get antibiotics, I do not want to waste them.

"Leo mind checking Raph's injuries for any swelling or redness? We need to rule out an infection?" I explained, Leo nodded. "Change him into something lighter, I'm going to get cold water and a washcloth. We need to cool him off."

"Right." Leo agreed eagerly, I nodded and headed out of the room.

"Don, is he gonna be okay?" Mikey asked, I turned to see him to look at me with tears brimming in his eyes.

"He will be, I promise you, Mikey." I assured him, I reached over and cupped his cheeks pulling him close to kiss his forehead. "Mind getting a clean cloth and cool water, we need to get Raph cooled off."

"On it." Mikey chimed and I smiled as he raced off.

Reaching up I pinched the ridge of my beak. I needed to think, what could it be? What medicines should I prioritize for Father to get. I need to make sure he has all the supplies he will need.

(Leo's POV)

I wrung out the cloth and placed it back on Raph's forehead. His breath was ragged even in his sleep. Don thought of a few conditions and was looking up medicine we would need. He told me I needed to keep Raph cool and have him drink.

"L-leo?" Raph murmured, I smiled and cupped his cheek.

"Right here Raphie." I hushed, he smiled at me weakly. "Think you can drink?"

He nodded and I carefully helped him sit up before reaching to grab the water. I held the cup as Raph guided it himself. Between gulps, he would gasp a bit which worried me. Soon he was pushing the glass away, I carefully placed it on the side table and began to lay Raph back down.

"Don't go…" he murmured, I kissed his cheek soothingly.

"Not going anywhere." I soothed, I felt his warm cheek press into my thigh.

"Sometimes it felt like you were there. I'm glad this time it's real…" He murmured, my heart broke at his confession.

I wanted to say something but as I turned back I saw he was practically asleep again. I only reached down to rub his head soothingly, his skin was still clammy with fever. I gently brushed my thumb across his forehead and began to hum the song he had sung.

(Don's POV)

I watched as Leo helped Raph take the medicine we had acquired. I could see him struggle to swallow the pills but Leo coaxed him through it. Once the pills were down I saw Raph tremble and cling to Leo. I felt sick realizing that this was another sign of the trauma he had gone through.

Had they forced him to swallow medicine?

"Don?" Leo quizzed, I shook my head clearing my mind.

"Sorry, lost in thought," I admitted.

"Come here," Raph stated, I nodded and shuffled closer to him. "Thank you, Don."

"You don't need to thank me," I replied, he smiled weakly.

"I know, but I will. Now go get some sleep, you look exhausted." Raph soothed, I shook my head.

"No. I mean not yet, I want to monitor you to make sure the medicine helps. Once it takes effect I'll sleep." I replied, he sighed but patted the space beside him.

"Then lay here with me." he urged, I looked to Leo unsure.

"Lay with him, you're both tired. I'm going to brew some tea and eat." Leo urged.

I nodded and I waved off Leo, turning back I saw Raph lying on his side. Carefully I shuffled up and lay beside him, turning I saw him looking at me with a fond expression. Before I could even think to say anything he had moved a hand over the center of my carapace and began to pat it softly.

I remember when he used to do this.

(Flashback)

I looked up at Raphie as he lay next to me propping his head up with his arm. His free hand was gently patting my carapace in a soothing manner. His gentle voice was singing softly and I found it hard to fight up sleep.

"Sleep Donnie, I'll be here when you wake up." he soothed.

"But what if you get sick too?" I quizzed, he chuckled.

"This is what big brothers do silly, besides I don't get sick as often. So you just rest up okay? Dad said he would bring you more medicine in the morning." he replied, I nodded and let my eyes close.

I let myself be lulled to sleep by his gentle pats and soothing singing.

(End Flashback)

I smiled as I looked to Raph, he was still the same as he's always been. Even when he is the one sick. I grabbed his hand and gently put in down bside him. Taking up the position he had always done for us I began to pat his chest.

"Let us take care of you this time." I soothed, he smiled.

"Habit." he joked, I chuckled.

He was still him. All we needed to do was support him, his strength would pull him through. Just like it always has.