Galinda Upland does not like the quiet.
It's not that she particularly enjoys cacophony. It's simply that her mind tends to function best when there is always background noise surrounding her. The noise helps her regulate. It needn't be too loud, or abrasive, just a low level of some tune, of her choosing, to help keep her focused on things that aren't her own disgusticified thoughts.
Galinda Upland does not have a very kind brain. Not to be confused with her not being kind, because she is, in her own way. It's just that her mind does not tend to offer the same kindness to herself, and having sounds and constant distractions keeps her, well, distracted.
So she is relieved when her dear Popsicle assured her that she has her very own room, and so she needn't worry about her music negatively impacting her roommate, for she will not have one. Nor would she have to worry about keeping up with appearances the entire time she is at school, for she will have her own room to let her guard down.
Until that no longer remains the case.
"I'm sorry, what?" Galinda whispers to herself as Madame Morrible walks away with Elphaba Thropp, her new apparent roommate.
Galinda, now back in her suite, by herself for the time being, has music playing as she paces to and fro between the door and one of the balcony windows. Her mind is reeling as she tries to focus on her breathing, doing her level best to keep her mind from escaping the carefully constructed obstructions she's placed for her own sanity.
Some thoughts escape.
Those that make it out of the confines are loud, and despite knowing she should ignore them and stuff those thoughts back down, she's rather weak and unable to do so when her carefully arranged plans go awry. Galinda does not like surprises that are not of her own making. She likes being prepared, and suddenly finding herself procuring a roommate she wasn't supposed to have makes her whole body shiver. She's sure Elphaba is probably perfectly nice, but how is she supposed to function when the only place she would have been able to be herself is now no longer a place that's wholly her own?
Galinda stops in her tracks and shakes her head, her hands ball into fists as she raises them to her temples and presses them against her head, her eyes squeeze shut, "Stop." Her whispered word sounds harsh even to her own ears.
Galinda Upland does not like the quiet.
So she turns the music up just a little bit louder and grabs her makeup and tries to center herself again.
How will you cope with having someone in your space?
She swipes at the blush with her brush.
Will you be able to keep up the charade?
She furrows her brow and turns the music up even louder before going back to applying the blush.
How will you cope with someone finding out you're not perfect?
Galinda drops her brush and stares at her face in the mirror, her eyes darting wildly across her own features, looking for outward cracks in her mask.
What will she think? What will she say?
Galinda can't turn the music up any louder. It doesn't get any louder. It's still not loud enough.
The ringing in her ears drowns out the music anyway. Galinda's hands tremble and she's not sure when it started. Her jaw is clenched tight and she knows she doesn't have the time for this, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows she doesn't have the time for this, Elphaba will be coming to settle in soon. Elphaba will be in and she can't see her like this, Elphaba is on her way and she can't be allowed to see her so disheveled.
Galinda's thoughts whirl around her as she sinks to her knees, begging her mind to settle before it's too late.
You're a big girl, Galinda Upland. You've outgrown this. Stop. You're being unreasonable. You need to be good. You need to stop this. Think of what people will say. Think of what they'll think. Hide. Hide. Hide.
The knock at the door somehow, mercifully, gets through to her and she quickly pulls herself together and wills herself towards it.
One peek through the peephole and she squeaks as she sees that it's her new roommate. Elphaba.
Careful now. Don't falter. Perfection. Be 'on'.
xoxoxo
Galinda Upland does not like the quiet.
When it's quiet she tends to think, and when she thinks, she spirals, and when she spirals, she isn't good, and when she isn't good, it looks bad. And Galinda cannot look bad. She's gotten this far, one of the first from Frottica to attend university, despite her errant mind and quirky disposition. She's been able to subdue the outward quirkiness, for the most part, into something more palatable due to many years of training. Galinda's parents gave her everything to succeed, and she knows better than anyone what a good outward presentation of oneself can do.
Galinda Upland does not like the quiet.
But Elphaba Thropp does.
Elphaba thrives in silence, from what Galinda has been able to ascertain. So much so that Galinda thinks Elphaba must glide everywhere since even her walk, at times, seems to carry no noise at all.
Galinda watches her roommate as she readies for bed, as she has for weeks now, in absolute silence, not a hum or a sigh comes out of her the whole time and Galinda doesn't know how she does it, nor what to make of it. The blonde's hand taps a rhythmic beat against her own thigh as she studies Elphaba.
"Do I have something on my face?" Elphaba asks, her back turned towards Galinda.
Galinda feels a blush rise to her cheeks as she shakes her head, "N-no! No, I-No." She finishes weakly, eyes turning away from Elphaba to return to her homework still sitting at her desk, untouched.
Elphaba says nothing in return and Galinda doesn't know if she's glad or upset over that. Elphaba seems to always throw Galinda for a loop the way she meanders through conversations. The dance Elphaba chooses to partake in when conversing always seems to put Galinda on her back foot.
"Will you be up long?" The question comes a while later, from Elphaba's side of the room.
Galinda, who has been trying to read and ingest the same paragraph for some time now, turns towards Elphaba, "What?"
Elphaba, now laying in bed, gestures towards the lamp and asks again, "Will you be staying up for long?"
Galinda glances at her homework, then back at her roommate, "Not long, no. Let me just...I'll be done in a minute."
Elphaba does not respond and again Galinda doesn't know if she's glad for it. She does, however, rub her face frustratedly as she accepts defeat and closes her book and turns off the light. She wasn't going to get anywhere with this homework, not when everything seems to be trying to make it impossible.
Galinda Upland does not do well in the quiet.
The blonde sighs quietly as she stands up and stretches before shuffling towards her bed and tucks in. Perhaps tonight she'll be able to rest. Perhaps after so many restless nights, this will be the night she's exhausted enough for sleep to take her easily. Perhaps she's done enough throughout the day that she can simply shut her eyes and dreams will take her.
You missed the answer on that quiz today.
Doctor Dillamond thinks you've no substance.
Madame Morrible doesn't even want to acknowledge your existence.
Your physics lab was horrendible. Sloppy work.
Your dress did not match the vibe of the day, Shenshen did have a point.
Pfannee thinks you're full of it whenever you answer a question in class. Be seen, not heard.
"Your fidgeting is making it quite difficult to get to sleep, you know."
Galinda's eyes snap open, not aware that she was fidgeting at all, "Excuse me?"
Elphaba slowly sits up in her bed and Galinda can just make out her shape in the dark, "You're being extra restless tonight, Ms. Galinda."
Galinda blinks, her mouth falling open slightly at the fact that Elphaba is calling her out about this, "I don't know what you mean, I'm the picture of perfect rest." She shuts her eyes to prove her point.
She doesn't even realize she's once again flipped over to her other side until she hears a snort from across the room, "Yes, of course, how silly of me, it must be our other roommate that's having such disastrous trouble trying to get comfortable in their large, fluffy, bed."
Galinda's face burns and she's grateful for the darkness. This time it is she who chooses to remain silent. Her fingers drum against her sternum and she prays it's quiet enough to not be heard by Elphaba.
It must be just quiet enough, as Elphaba says nothing.
Her fingers keep drumming, and Galinda tries to focus on each tap against her chest. The feeling of her fingers, the image of her insides reverberating with each tap like a drum. It's sound enough for her, she thinks. It's all she hears. Tap, tap, tap. Breath. Tap, tap, tap. Breath.
Before she knows it, there's light slowly peeking through the windows, casting a pink hue across everything, and she has not slept a wink. Rosey-sunlight dances across her face and Galinda is not the happier for it. Her fingers continue to drum against her own chest and it aches. She's so tired, her limbs almost dead weight for how exhausted she feels trying to keep herself together. Galinda's eyes dart towards Elphaba and her face crumples as she sees how peacefully she's resting.
It's not fair. How is this fair?
Galinda has never understood how anyone can simply shut their eyes and go to sleep. No noise needed? At all? Impossible. How does one drift away when one's mind can be so full of information and thoughts? If there's no noise to focus on, how does one drown all of that out?
Galinda swallows, her throat tight as she considers calling it a day. Surely everyone will understand she's feeling a little under the weather.
And let everyone think you're a fainéant?
The blonde inhales deeply and ever so quietly rolls out of bed, deciding against it, for the umpteenth time.
She tiptoes towards the bathroom and washes her face, not allowing herself a look in the mirror. She knows better than to do that. She'll be stuck staring. She'll be stuck assessing herself. She'll be stuck thinking about what she should have done, and what she should be doing, and what she must start to do, and how badly her hair needs to get curled, and how much toner will it take to cover these dark circles, and if only she had learned to cope better she wouldn't be stuck standing here doing this, and if she only just could have been normal she would be able to walk right out of this bathroom without needing to restrain herself from self-assessments, and if she could only just get a grip-
"Are you done yet? I've got to get ready too, Ms. Galinda." Elphaba's voice shakes her out of her circular thoughts and she wants to cry when she looks at the clock and sees just how much time she's wasted doing just the thing she was trying so very hard not to do.
You've lost an hour of your time Galinda. What have you done?
Galinda's body shakes fiercely. She's so cold and so tired.
"Galinda?" Her voice.
Galinda shakes her head, fighting to gather herself to respond, only the shaking does not help her regain focus. She feels even more adrift, her vision blurry as her hands tighten against the brim of the sink.
"I-" Her voice hoarse from disuse.
Galinda's stomach roils and she feels it in her chest. She's unwell. She needs to resist. She needs to soldier on.
Galinda's vision darkens as her whole body is taken over with a quivering she's not felt before.
It's suddenly mercifully hushed. No thoughts, only the rushing sound of blood in her ears, her heart pounding and her breaths that shudder in and out.
"Galinda!" Elphaba's voice sounds so very far away. How funny.
Galinda wants to respond, should she respond? She should respond. Only, she can't make herself do so.
Arms gather her up, she's only just barely aware of that.
Elphaba's hands are so soft, and so gentle, as she carefully holds her up.
"Galinda, what have you done?" The words could have been shouted at her, or whispered, it would not have made a difference, for Galinda did not hear them. She'd exhausted herself to sleep.
xoxoxo
Galinda Upland did not like the quiet.
Her brows furrow at first as her consciousness slowly returns to her.
Did she not get out of bed already? Galinda slowly reaches out a hand and feels around her and she's certain that she's in her bed, that what she feels under her fingertips is her bedspread and blanket.
She's suddenly taken aback when her fingers run into an obstruction she was not anticipating.
"Oof. That's my nose Ms. Galinda." The voice is unmistakably Elphaba's.
Galinda slowly opens one eye, only just barely enough to peak at her roommate, "Apologies. I didn't realize you'd be so close."
Elphaba had been resting her head on the mattress. Elphaba had sat in a chair by her bedside and laid her head down on the mattress, watching over her. Elphaba had chosen to keep vigil.
Elphaba laughs lightly, not at all expecting that response, "My apologies. I wanted to make sure you weren't going to die on me. What would the neighbors think? 'Green bean Maimed Galinda the Good', that's all I need to have added to my already glowing reputation."
Galinda shuts her eyes as she takes a breath before exhaling slowly, her eyes remain shut as she carefully starts, "I don't-"
Music.
She opens both of her eyes at that.
She hears music.
Elphaba, who was watching her intently, quirks her lips in a barely there smile, "I thought you could use some comforting."
Galinda looks at her with something close to awe as the other woman clears her throat and sits up a little more, "I only just put on what was already on the player, I didn't think you'd find it proper if I was to go rifling through your belongings to put something else on."
Galinda just continues to look at her and Elphaba can do nothing about the blush that rises to her cheeks. Elphaba clears her throat again and pushes the chair she's sitting on back and away from the bed a little bit further, "I-if that'll be all..." she trails off as she stands and goes to leave.
"Wait." Galinda, having finally found her voice, interrupts.
Elphaba stops and says nothing, choosing to remain standing but unmoving.
"Thank you," Galinda starts, her hand raising to reach out to Elphaba, knowing perhaps she wouldn't take her hand but wanting to reach for her regardless.
To both of their surprise, Elphaba stiltedly reaches her own hand back.
Galinda gently holds it as she gives the smallest of tugs, silently asking Elphaba to sit back down beside her.
Elphaba acquiesces, her eyes guarded as she does so.
"You...didn't have to do that," Galinda says almost shyly, her big brown doe eyes full of gratitution.
Elphaba shrugs her shoulders and gruffly replies, "I couldn't very well leave you there."
Galinda's eyebrow quirks up as she tilts her head, "You could have. You chose not to. I'm sorry to have been such a burden."
Elphaba scoffs, "Please. You weigh nothing."
Galinda blushes, "I meant. Well, I didn't mean physically a burden, but- wait, you carried me?"
Elphaba's blush darkens further, as she defensively argues her point, "No. I, well, kind of. I didn't- you weren't getting up, and I wasn't going to leave you on the bathroom floor!"
Galinda's face is burning up, "How chivalrous."
Elphaba looks like she wants to floor to open up and swallow her whole.
But she hasn't let go of Galinda's hand.
"No one can accuse me of being boorish."
Galinda starts to shake her head but nearly instantly stops as she realizes her head is aching and the slight movement feels abysmal.
"No, you most certainly are not boorish, Ms. Elphaba." The words are spoken so softly, so sweetly, so earnestly.
Elphaba swallows tightly, "I...you should eat something. I asked for some food to be brought up. I didn't think you'd be up for going down to the cafeteria..." she trails off, and it almost sounds like she's waiting for approval.
And Galinda is quick to deliver.
"Thank you, you thought right. What a state I must be in. Can you imagine me going down there looking the way that I do now? What would they think!"
Elphaba looks at her curiously before carefully speaking, "They would think nothing of it. You look perfectly fine Ms. Galinda, if just a little bit tired."
Galinda snorts and she's horrified at herself for doing so, if the widened eyes, gasp and quick clasp of her mouth is any indication.
Elphaba just looks at her amusedly, "Honestly Galinda."
Galinda's heart races in her chest, ashamed at having snorted in front of Elphaba of all people.
"Hey, what's that about?" Elphaba's tone soft, eyes even softer.
And Galinda didn't realize her eyes had started to water. A single tear rolls down her cheek.
Elphaba looks lost as she hurriedly says, "I'll be right back, just a clock-tick." She squeezes Galinda's hand and darts away lightning fast.
Galinda's hands ball into fists and she brings them up to her head, willing herself not to cry, willing her tears to stop. She holds her breath and counts to ten.
Before she gets to five, she feels rather than sees Elphaba beside her once again, "Bread. I've got some bread, or a croissant. Or I've even brought some yogurt if you'd rather. Butter and jams. Just...a little bite. That'll help."
Galinda releases the breath she's holding and tunes into the music and Elphaba's voice.
"Fruit?" Elphaba offers, holding out a small cup of cut fruit, her eyes look hopeful and oh so warm and Galinda doesn't deserve this.
Elphaba must see the turn on Galinda's face for she quickly scoots even closer in the chair and ever so sweetly offers her hand to Galinda.
Galinda reaches for her hand, amazed at the comfort and peace it brings. She brings.
"Will you please take a bite of something? Truly, I cannot afford to have all of Shiz hate me for not taking care of everyone's sweetheart," Elphaba quietly says, a gentle squeeze of her hand follows that, and her eyes so warm and inviting.
Galinda hums softly and Elphaba visibly relaxes at that. Elphaba holds out the cup of fruit towards Galinda and grins as the blonde squeezes her hand once, twice, before slowly letting go to take hold of the offered cup.
"What's your favorite fruit?" Elphaba asks as Galinda takes her first bite of a melon.
Galinda's ears perk up, her eyes finding Elphaba's, "Peaches."
Elphaba nods and Galinda thinks perhaps that would be the end of the exchange.
She's pleasantly surprised.
"I enjoy watermelons. Or even honeydew. I sprinkle a little salt on the slices to make them sweeter." Elphaba's voice is gentle. She speaks slowly, as if unsure she should be speaking about herself.
Galinda swallows the bite before quietly responding in kind, "Melons, of all varieties, are my second favorite fruit."
Elphaba quirks her lips and again Galinda thinks that will be the end of the exchange.
"My second favorite is peaches."
Galinda feels the tentative olive branch solidify further, she sees the way Elphaba is reaching out and she can't help the way her chest feels so full. The way the music is gently playing in the background, the way the silence is being filled, the way she isn't being poked at.
Galinda hums softly as she takes another bite, this time of a peach, "You have good taste, Ms. Elphaba."
Elphaba snorts, and Galinda's head whips up to look at her and Elphaba's face flushes as she grins back at her, "That may be the first time anyone has ever said that about me."
Galinda waits for Elphaba to apologize for the unseemly sound...only that never happens. She waits for her to try and cover it up, change the subject, and redirect all attention. But she doesn't.
"Now kiwis, however, I don't know that I can stand by," Elphaba says next, as if nothing had happened.
Galinda is listening. She really is listening, and she's slowly eating her cup of fruit and she's listening to Elphaba, Elphaba, speak to her. Speak with her. And her brain is slowly catching up and she's able to better converse with her the longer the silence is being filled and it's when she's finished her fruit cup that Galinda's brain seems to fire on all cylinders.
"You're talking to me," Galinda says when Elphaba pauses to take a sip of her coffee.
Amused eyes find hers as she puts the mug down, "I have been, yes."
"No, yes, I know, but I mean, you're talking to me."
Galinda doesn't know how to explain it just now, but she has a feeling Elphaba can probably understand what she means by that all on her own.
"I've realized that...I have been less than welcoming of any uhm, camaraderie between us..." Elphaba pauses as she plays with her own fingers, "and I suppose after the first few days of putting up the barricade, I felt foolish when I needn't have done so. But, at that point, I didn't...Who would try to make friends with someone who adamantly shut them out? So I...I accepted my own fate. That being, that I would be the silent roommate that you so desperately wanted nothing to do with."
Galinda blinks at her, and Elphaba continues, "I fear I may have done myself a disservice by acting like an absolute menace of foreboding silence."
Elphaba, though blushing profusely, carries on valiantly, "I don't know what it is about you, Galinda, but this may be the most I've spoken about myself, to anyone, and I'm not sure I'm doing an altogether great job at it."
Galinda shakes her head slightly, still cognizant of the dizzy spell that may be lingering, "You're doing a splendid job. I wouldn't have been able to tell you'd never done it before."
Elphaba laughs and Galinda feels herself grin, enjoying that she managed to bring that out of her. Her eyes are tired and her belly full, and she feels, for the first time in weeks, relaxed.
"Well, there's that I suppose."
"I'm...not very good at letting people in." Galinda says after a beat, her eyes trained on her own hands, now devoid of the empty cup that Elphaba had so graciously removed for her.
Elphaba looks at her incredulously, and before she can say anything Galinda lets out a slight rueful chuckle, "In enough to know the me behind the glimmer and glamour, I mean."
Elphaba pauses and studies her for a moment, understanding washing over her. She seems to consider something for a moment before she raises an eyebrow and teasingly says, "You mean you don't just wake up with perfectly curled hair and lips perfectly painted?"
Galinda smiles at her lazily, her fingers daintily dancing towards Elphaba's free hand placed just within reach, "Oh if that were the case. That would save me so much time, and save you the trouble of having to wait to use the bathroom."
Elphaba hums quietly, amusement clearly showing on her face, her eyes bright and warm, "You'd take my fun away from me?"
Galinda grins sleepily, "No, I suppose I wouldn't."
Elphaba's thumb gently strokes the back of Galinda's hand as she whispers, "You should rest then, and bring back my fun when you wake."
Galinda didn't even realize her eyes were already shut at that point, but she acquises easily, a contented hum leaves her as she snuggles deeper into her bed, "Maybe we can talk about all the other foods you can't quite abide by when I'm up. I'd like to know what my new friend enjoys so as not to ruin things before they start."
Galinda's almost certain she's all the way asleep when she hears, "You couldn't ruin anything Ms. Galinda."
Galinda Upland does not like silence.
Galinda Upland enjoys the gentle quietness that comes with being known.