Chapter 5 – About us: Anger

Aether's thoughts about Navia

I've faced gods and monsters, been caught in the middle of wars and chaos, but this… this is different. The anger is sharper, more personal. It burns through me, leaving me raw, on edge. I thought I could control it, that I could keep it from bubbling up between us, but here we are—standing on opposite sides of something I can't even name.

It started so small, just a simple disagreement. I can't even remember what it was about now. But one word turned into another, and suddenly, it was like I was losing control, like every frustration I've carried with me—the weight of this endless journey, the constant pressure to be everything to everyone—came rushing out. And she was there, at the center of it, taking the brunt of something that had nothing to do with her.

It wasn't fair. I knew that even as the words left my mouth, but I couldn't stop. I watched the hurt flash across her face, and it killed me, but I didn't know how to pull back. I've been so used to keeping everything inside, pushing my feelings down because there's always something more important, something more pressing. But with her, I didn't want to hide anymore. And maybe that's why it hurt so much. Because I never wanted to hurt her.

But I did. I saw the way her eyes hardened, the way she turned away, and for a second, I thought… what if this is the thing that breaks us? What if, after everything we've been through, this is the moment where she walks away?

The thought terrifies me more than anything else. I can't lose her. I won't lose her. But I don't know how to fix this. All I know is the anger—the anger that started somewhere deep inside me and spilled out onto the one person I can't bear to see in pain.

But then, there's a moment of silence. It's like the world pauses, and in that quiet, I realize something. This isn't about winning or being right. It's about her. It's about us. And I need to be better than this, for her, for us. So… I breathe, let the fire in my chest cool, and take a step forward. Because if there's one thing I know, it's that she's worth fighting for. But more than that, she's worth letting go of the fight.

Navia's thoughts about Aether

I've never felt so angry, not like this. It's a different kind of anger—one that's not just about the moment, but about everything underneath it. I can feel it in every word, in every look, like we're both holding onto something too tightly, too fiercely. And now, it's spilling over.

It's not just him, though. It's me, too. I'm angry because he can't see what I'm trying to tell him. Because no matter how much I try to explain, he just… he doesn't listen. Or maybe he does, but it's not enough. And then we're both caught in this storm, hurling words we don't mean, knowing they'll hit hard and leave scars neither of us can take back.

Part of me wants to walk away. To slam the door, to make him feel the weight of what he's said, of what I've said. But I can't. I won't. Because as much as I hate this feeling, as much as it tears at me, I know this isn't the end. This can't be the end.

I thought I could handle it—handle him. After all, I've handled far worse things in my life. But this… this is different. This is us. And it feels like everything's falling apart. And that terrifies me. Because in the middle of all this anger, all this hurt, there's still love. And that love is the only thing keeping me from walking out that door.

He's standing there now, looking at me like he's waiting for me to say something, to make the first move. And I hate that he's making me do this. I hate that we're even in this place. But when I look at him, really look at him, I see past the anger. I see the same fear in his eyes that I feel in mine—the fear of losing what we've built, of letting this moment define us.

So, I take a breath. I let the rage in my chest settle, just enough to clear my mind. And I know what I have to do. This anger, this fight… it's not worth losing him. It never was.

Maybe we'll fight again. Maybe we'll hurt each other with words we don't mean. But I also know that if we can come back from this, we can come back from anything. So… I take a step toward him, reach out, and just like that, the distance between us isn't so great anymore.

We're still together. And that's all that matters.