Sora had been hiding a lot from everyone. Not just nightmares and night terrors but how he also had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). He was on edge all the time thinking that Heartless would attack him. Or members of Organization Thirteen would come back.
He fought for so long it was hard to wrap his head around that he won. That the fighting was over, and he could live his life again. It was just difficult to readjust. He wasn't sure how Riku was able to do it.
He no longer found enjoyment in anything. Even being with Kairi, like he wanted since he met her, was dull. He missed the fighting, if he was honest with himself. He was starting to think something was seriously wrong with him. He didn't feel happy. He didn't feel at home. He just felt that at any moment he was going to be attacked. Or he would wake up and be in another world with Donald and Goofy.
Even so it didn't explain why he couldn't adjust to his old life like Kairi and Riku did. He felt weak and childish. Having nightmares and needing people to be there so he wasn't alone. He hated being alone, it made his mind wonder with worse case scenarios.
All he went through to get Kairi back…to get Riku back. All that effort and then…that's it. He returned home with Riku, and everything was supposed to go back to normal? Things returned to normal for Riku and Kairi, just not him.
"Sooooora, hellloooo?" Riku called as he waved his hand in front of the brunette's face. Sora blinked and looked at Riku, was he thinking for too long? "Am I boring you, buddy?"
"Oh, no sorry. I was just thinking," Sora admitted.
"That's dangerous," Riku teased, and Sora felt a ping of hurt. Riku always treated him like a child, it drove Sora crazy. He wanted to be equal in Riku's eyes, but instead he was his annoying, naïve, childish friend.
"Oh, shut up Riku," Sora said playfully.
"I'm just messing with you," Riku rolled his eyes, "How about a swim?" Riku suggested changing the subject.
"Sure," Sora smiled, trying to keep up his normal self. It was becoming harder to do.
Riku grinned and removed his shoes followed by his shirt and pants. Sora nearly gasped at the amount of…scars on Riku's body. Nearly 80% of Riku's chest and back were covered in scars.
It wasn't that he was shocked that Riku had them, oh no. He was surprised that it looked so similar to his body. Fighting as much as they did, it made sense, but for whatever reason. Sora didn't believe Riku would look the same, if not worse.
He had a dark red scar starting from just under the left collarbone and ending close to his right hip bone. Sora wasn't sure how Riku survived that one. Among the large scars were tiny ones, well not that tiny. About the size of Heartless' claws, which Sora was no stranger to. He had several littered all over his body. Sora assumed that being in the Darkness was much worse than what Sora went through.
Sora averted his attention from Riku's scars to his actual physique. Riku had…muscles, a lot of muscles. When did Riku get so…muscular? Sora's eyes were fixated on Riku for longer than he thought. It felt like only a minute before Riku cleared his throat.
Sora blinked and met Riku's eyes, he was smiling knowingly. Riku must think that Sora was checking him out. The thought made Sora's cheeks go warm. Riku didn't say anything, he just shook his head and chuckled. Sora wasn't sure if he liked that response.
"Are you going to swim fully clothed?" Riku teased.
"No," Sora said simply and fiddled with his shirt. Riku smirked and jumped off the island and into the water. Not willing to wait for Sora to be ready clearly.
Sora released a groan. He didn't want Riku to see his scars. They weren't as bad but they weren't attractive either. He went through a lot fighting in Kingdom Hearts. He had a few close calls even. It wasn't something that Sora wanted to talk about, especially with Riku. Maybe he could just leave his shirt on? No, no he couldn't do that. Riku would give him hell for it without a thought.
As much as he thought it was a bad idea, he finally removed his shirt. Followed by all his unnecessary clothes, he inched his way to the edge. He didn't see Riku which made him feel better. He didn't want to see Riku, yet.
Sora's attention stayed on the water. He stared down and a rush of nerves hit him. He wasn't sure why. Nothing bad really happened to him in his travels with water. Aside from Ariel and Jack Sparrow, even that didn't explain his nerves. It could be because of Demyx, the thought sent a wave of anxiety.
Sora groaned as memories flooded his brain. He squeezed his eyes tight and willed his mind to stop thinking. He needed to get over this. It's been nearly two years for crying out loud. He defeated Demyx and every foe that he went up against. He needed to stop thinking the fight wasn't over, because it was. He was done.
Sora opened his eyes seeing the beautiful water shimmering in the sunlight. There was nothing to be afraid of, right? Right, so he just needs to jump in. He has done it a million times in the past. He can do it again, no problem. With a deep breath Sora jumped off the small island.
Riku watched as Sora had an internal battle with himself. One was whether to remove his shirt. Riku couldn't blame Sora for that one. He wasn't too keen on doing it himself, but his scars were a part of him. There was nothing to be ashamed of.
He chose the Darkness, and the scars were the results of that. Sora on the other hand didn't choose the Darkness, but still received quite a few battle scars. Maybe even more than Riku, but he couldn't tell from where he was.
The second internal battle Riku noticed that Sora struggled with was whether he should jump in the water or not. Now, this battle, Riku was confused. What happened in Sora's travels that made him fear water? Riku didn't travel everywhere Sora did, but he couldn't think of where the fear came from. Sora grew up surrounded by water. How could a few experiences make the man so skittish?
Fortunately, the internal battle didn't last long. Sora jumped into the water with no more hesitation. Riku released the tension in his body, he wasn't even aware that he was holding. He swam closer to where Sora would reemerge, so he knew that Riku was close.
Riku waited for a while, longer than he should have for Sora to resurface. Was Sora messing with him? Or was something wrong? Riku was unsure until he saw a small beam of light shine, as if Sora was summoning his Keyblade.
Riku knew then that something was wrong. He quickly dove under and searched for Sora. It didn't take him long to find the brunette failing and swinging recklessly at an unknown enemy. Riku quickly scanned the area to see what Sora was fighting with, but he didn't see anyone. What he saw was Sora's foot caught in an old fishing net, making it impossible for Sora to resurface.
Avoiding Sora's swings, Riku swam to the net where Sora's foot was tangled. He summoned his Keyblade and started sawing at the rope. In the time Riku was getting Sora free, Sora stopped moving. Riku glanced up and saw he was unconscious.
He worked quickly to finish and pulled Sora up to the surface. Riku gasped for air and leaned back so Sora's head rested on his shoulder. He was still unconscious, causing Riku to nearly panic.
Riku swam Sora to shore and checked his pulse, it was weak, but it was there. Riku quickly performed CPR until Sora started to cough up water. Riku rolled him onto his side so he wouldn't choke. Riku felt relief rushed over him as Sora opened his eyes and looked up at Riku. Sora coughed a little more before sitting up and looking away from Riku. The oldest of the two could tell that Sora was embarrassed but he was just glad Sora was okay.
"Are you okay? What happened?" Riku asked after a few moments of them just sitting there.
"I'm fine, nothing happened," Sora brushed off and stood.
"It wasn't nothing. You summoned your blade, why?" Riku pressed.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"It could help," Riku reasoned, standing as well. Sora's fist tightened at his sides and snapped a glare at Riku.
"How would you know? You have no idea what would help me. If talking about it helped, I would be better by now! Kairi has tried that, and it only made things worse! I keep thinking this is all a dream and everything is just going to go back.
"Back to the fighting and the searching, but it hasn't and I just…I just can't wrap my head around it! I have tried to tell myself, it's over and I should stop being on edge, but I can't! I was gone for two years, Riku! Two years of my life searching for my friends, for Kairi…for you! And I did it. I actually did it, but I can't come to terms with that.
"The fight is still too real to me. The memories still haunt me, and I can't get them to stop. No one can, so stop trying! I'm not like you, Riku. I can't just forget what happened, I just can't." Sora ranted as tears started to stream down his face.
Riku quickly pulled Sora into a hug. At first Sora just stood there as Riku held him but after a few moments Sora hugged back. He stopped holding back his tears and just cried it out.
It was the last thing he wanted to do in front of Riku, but he couldn't hold back anymore. It only lasted a few more minutes before Sora pulled away and wiped his eyes. He stepped away from Riku and looked away, seeming to be embarrassed again.
"You don't have to be embarrassed Sora. I understand how you feel. Believe me," Riku assured him. Sora let out a bitter laugh and glanced at the silver haired man.
"Yeah right, you had trouble adjusting back to our old lives? Give me a break. I don't need you to lie to me to make me feel better." Sora scoffed.
"I'm not lying, Sora," Riku said. His tone, serious and his face like stone. "When we came back I…I had a lot of trouble. Don't you remember me being gone for six months?"
"You said you were spending time with your family." Sora grumbled, still not believing Riku.
"Of course, I said that I didn't want you and Kairi to know that I needed time. I came here. I needed to be alone, collect myself, collect my thoughts before I returned to how things used to be. I had nightmares and feared that this was all a dream. A lie my brain created to make me feel safe only to backfire and hurt me again. I know exactly how you feel, Sora. I still think to this day that we aren't truly back, but we are. We are home Sora, and you will get better. I promise," Riku smiled reassuringly.
Sora just nodded. Riku knew it would take time for Sora to accept they were home. Riku is still adjusting himself. Sora was not alone and Riku was going to make sure he knew that.