Previously: Anna and Radek are doing their best to pass the time with Keller (in Anna's case), avoiding murder with Collins (in Radek's case) (since they've been offworld since chapter 43).

Chapter 46. Only Time.

"Radek and Rodney are on their way back," Elizabeth said.

Anna nodded. She knew that, but she was glad to hear it anyway. She continued walking. She didn't want to be late. "Good."

"Radek sent a message ahead for you to keep your dinner free," Elizabeth went on. She smiled. Maybe she thought it was cute.

But what else was Anna supposed to do for dinner? It wasn't as though there were a bunch of people making dinner dates with her. Iskaan was on the mainland. Elizabeth ate with her pretty often, though. Jennifer did sometimes, too, but she had her own friends to eat with. Friends who were not fifteen years old.

"You can tell him I will see him at dinner," Anna said. She sighed. "But I have to go see Doctor Heightmeyer."

"Oh?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Is that going okay?"

"It's fine." Anna sighed. It wasn't bad, anyway. "I wish I didn't have to. But these weekly meetings are apparently mandatory." She looked at Elizabeth askance. "That isn't your idea, is it?" Anna once had a sneaking suspicion that it was on Elizabeth's suggestion, but these days she wasn't sure. It might have been Radek being protective.

"I'm not the one making them mandatory," Elizabeth said. "But I don't think it's a bad idea."

Anna sighed and nodded. She didn't know why she was disappointed. "I should get going. Doctor Heightmeyer will miss me."

Elizabeth nodded and let her go.

Anna arrived to her appointment a few minutes early. Doctor Heightmeyer told her to go in while she talked to a sergeant outside. Anna took a seat on the couch and waited. She didn't mind if Doctor Heightmeyer kept her waiting for an hour. Then she'd have to see someone else.

Anna tried to talk over strategy with herself for a moment. Doctor Heightmeyer always took ages to get around to what she really wanted to know about. How Anna was doing with Radek. With her mother being gone. Anna hated to admit that, these days, she didn't think about her a lot. She was only rarely bored, and even when she was there was plenty to explore. All sorts of places in this big city to lose herself in.

She doubted Doctor Heightmeyer would be pleased to hear that.

Doctor Heightmeyer walked back in. "Sorry to keep you waiting." She sat in her chair and leaned back. "How are you today?"

"Fine."

Doctor Heightmeyer looked at her sideways, only just barely, with a smile.

Sometimes Anna wondered if she knew any other suitable answer for that question. It was nice, though, how when Americans asked that question, they never really meant to know the answer. It was a polite thing to ask, not so much a polite thing to actually answer. On the other hand, Anna guessed that if any American would mean to know the real answer, a psychologist would be that one person.

"How is Radek?"

"I don't know. He went offworld with Doctor McKay and Doctor Collins and a few others." Something about a weapon or something. Except there was something different about it that they hadn't figured out yet. "I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Oh, I see." She looked a little pensive. "I think you said the same thing last time we met, too."

That was just after the whole city was waist-deep in the McKay/Cadman problem. No one was fine then. Though, Anna said they were. "We're about the same."

"But you haven't seen him." Doctor Heightmeyer sounded concerned.

That was a major misstep on Anna's part. "Well, he's only been offworld for a week. He's coming back today, actually. He and Doctor McKay are giving a report on whatever it is they find on the planet."

Doctor Heightmeyer didn't say anything. She just rearranged her arms on the armrests. She tapped her fingers, one at a time.

"He had a cold or something before," Anna offered. "So he is fine now."

"How were you during that?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

Anna shrugged. "I didn't get sick." That wasn't what Doctor Heightmeyer wanted to know.

"And how is schoolwork?"

A dull question. A question for strained family reunions. The question Radek always led with. It was something they both understood, anyway. "Can we skip ahead to the part where you ask how I'm doing with Radek and my mom and everything?" she asked. "Because I'm okay."

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked, looking amused.

"No… just some things…" She only hoped the conversation wouldn't go this direction. She didn't want to explain that Ronon and Teyla were coming back for the rest of the day from their trading mission. They would be leaving again tomorrow. They were supposed to practice bantos fighting this afternoon.

"Sounds interesting," Doctor Heightmeyer said. She actually sounded sincere, somehow. Anna sort of doubted that she was. "What were you planning?"

Anna shrugged. "Teyla and Ronon were going to practice self-defense. And I was going to join them. That's all."

For a moment, Anna worried she would continue the line of questioning.

"How did you like offworld?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked, suddenly switching direction entirely. "You went with a boy from the Athosian settlement, didn't you?"

Anna nodded. "Iskaan, yes. We got stuck in the tower of some ruins, but it was fun." And then after that Radek had forbidden her from going anywhere else. Possibly ever.

Doctor Heightmeyer folded her hands and leaned forward a little bit. "And Radek wasn't very pleased about that, I heard."

Anna sighed, rolled her eyes. "No, he wasn't, but I'm not too mad about that."

"Oh?" Doctor Heightmeyer's eyebrows raised.

"No." Nice try, though. "I told you, Radek and I are fine. He's offworld and I'm fine staying on Atlantis. Iskaan even comes here sometimes."

"So as long as you stay out of each other's way, everything is fine?"

"That's right." Anna hesitated. "I mean, it's not bad. I don't mean I prefer it that way. Because I don't. I wish Radek were here." Oh, this wasn't going well at all.

"You aren't used to being alone so often, are you?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked. "On Earth it was just you and your mom, wasn't it?"

Anna nodded.

"She was a teacher."

"Math teacher." Anna hadn't meant to say that, but she figured it wouldn't hurt.

Doctor Heightmeyer didn't say anything for what felt like minutes.

"At a small university. She would always… always help me with my homework." Now Collins did that. And that was alright. She was in another galaxy. Things were bound to be different here. "It sounds silly, but my mom used to have math races. See who could solve the most problems in a certain amount of time."

Doctor Heightmeyer smiled. "That doesn't sound silly. That sounds like fun."

"It was fun."

"She never had to go on any business trips, did she?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

"Sometimes," Anna answered. Not really like Radek's business trips, though. "Sometimes I would go with her. But during the school year, I would stay home and she would go away for seminars or conferences or other things. I was used to it."

Anna waited for a while for Doctor Heightmeyer to say something. She and Mom went to Berlin twice for seminars. She'd thought that was really something. She didn't go outside of her own city hardly ever when she was younger, only a few times to visit grandparents who died when she was quite small. Radek was with them, then. Berlin didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.

She supposed that was just growing up. Didn't have to go to another galaxy for that.

Doctor Heightmeyer finally said something. "Never alone for very long, though?"

"No. It was a little exciting sometimes. I could go to my aunt's house if something went wrong. But nothing ever went wrong."

"What was the longest you were apart?"

Anna bit her tongue. Almost nine months now. "Maybe two days."

Doctor Heightmeyer seemed to take that information in carefully. Almost like she'd heard what Anna wanted to say instead of the words she actually said. She doubted she'd mixed them up.

Anna sighed. "I'll be honest," she started.

Doctor Heightmeyer rearranged herself in her chair. "Good."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I don't mean I wasn't being honest before. I was always being honest. I'm working through my mom's death. By myself. And I'm fine with that. Radek and I don't have a lot in common. We just don't have very much to talk about."

"Why can't you talk with Radek about your mother? That is something you have in common, isn't it?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

"Talk to Radek about the death of the woman he divorced?" Anna wondered if she heard herself speak sometimes. She shook her head. "We don't… he wouldn't care about that like I do. I'm not saying he should, either. She asked him to leave, you know? He might be…"

She didn't finish that. It wasn't her place to guess how Radek felt about her mother's death. Was he angry that she didn't want to see him ever again? Did he regret that she got what she wanted? Was he sad?

Not like Anna was.

"It's a lot to get used to and I don't think that these talks are helping me," she finished.

Doctor Heightmeyer paused, eyebrows raised. "Oh?"

Anna felt a little guilty for saying that, but she did say she was going to be honest.

"Well, what would help then?"

Anna shrugged. Nothing. "Just time."

#

"Tell Collins to get his foot back in the Jumper," Sheppard scolded.

It was a joke. On the way here, Collins wasn't paying attention and almost got his foot cut off by the closing Jumper door. He hadn't lived it down yet. Almost every time a door closed, someone was quick to admonish the crew to watch for the safety of Collins' foot.

"Are you serious?" Rodney rolled his eyes. "Collins isn't even here."

Colonel Sheppard grinned. "But your annoyance is priceless."

"I'm not annoyed."

Radek made himself comfortable in the chair behind Rodney. It was a slow and easy ride from the planet to the gate. Nothing to be concerned about, especially since Colonel Sheppard was flying. Radek wasn't sure what he would do if Rodney ever wanted to take them. He'd go through that Stargate when it opened.

"So, Radek," Colonel Sheppard said a moment later, as if about to propose an ice breaker. Radek couldn't think of any other reason Sheppard wouldn't call him Zelenka except to manufacture some sort of attempt at friendship between them. "Anna's been spending quite a bit of time with me and Ronon on Atlantis. You know, learning to shoot and throw knives and stuff."

Throwing knives. Well, that was new. He tried not to let it show that he knew absolutely nothing about it. "Thank you for taking the time to teach her." It was the only thing he could think to say.

"Yeah, anytime. I'm not sure if she's all that interested in learning how to handle a gun. But around here it's a good thing to know."

Radek found himself nodding in spite of the fact that he had no idea what Colonel Sheppard was talking about. "Wait a moment. What do you mean, she's not interested?"

"I mean, she's not coming to learn about the guns, if you know what I mean."

Was there anything else to learn about at a shooting range? Throwing knives, maybe? "I don't know what you mean…" Radek said quietly. He glanced at Rodney. Judging by the look on his face, Rodney had no idea what he meant, either.

"Oh, come on, Radek. She's a fifteen-year-old girl. To be honest, I'm a little surprised it hasn't come up a sooner." Colonel Sheppard looked amused as he went on. "If I never see it coming, you can bet that Ronon didn't see it. Sure, he's smarter than he looks, but I don't think he—"

"Wait, what?" Radek found himself interrupting. "What does Ronon have to do with this?"

"Anna has a little bit of a crush on him," Colonel Sheppard said. He looked over his shoulder at Radek, and grinned. Radek must have looked horrified. "It's harmless."

Harmless. That was easy for Colonel Sheppard to say. It wasn't his daughter gazing after the first resident male alien. The tall, dark, and handsome male alien.

"Ronon?" Rodney sputtered a second later. "What is it with women and brainless brawn?"

Radek was about to object to Rodney calling his fifteen-year-old a woman. But he did have a point. Why Ronon?

Was Radek seriously asking that question? He'd never thought of it before, but Ronon was… well, masculine? Extremely. Mysterious. Brooding over his lost planet. He'd killed Wraith with his bare hands. Maybe that was attractive to Anna? He figured if he met a woman who had killed Wraith with her bare hands, he'd find that downright alarming. Like Teyla. She might not have actually done that, but he was sure she could. And Radek hated to admit it, but he was more than a little wary of her.

Terrified was probably a better word.

But still only slightly less terrifying than thinking of his teenager finding someone—anyone attractive. Bare-handed Wraith-killer or not.

"That's not exactly fair," Sheppard was saying. "Ronon knows how to keep his mouth shut. That doesn't mean he doesn't have anything to say."

"What in the world am I supposed to do?" Radek asked.

Sheppard glanced back at Radek, a sniff to cover well-meaning laughter. "What do you think you can do?"

Obviously nothing. If he had any idea what to do about it, he wouldn't have asked the question. Sheppard made it sound like there was nothing to be done about it. So, what? Ignore it? Hope it went away? Because that went so well for him in the past…

It would go away. Ronon wouldn't encourage it. Would he? Radek knew nothing about Ronon.

"How do you know she does?" Radek asked.

Sheppard shrugged. "Well, you know, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing. But I can't think of any other reason why she's so intent on learning how to fire weapons she obviously has no interest in. Or why she'd give him a kukri."

"What the hell is that?" Rodney demanded before Radek got the chance.

Sheppard glanced at Rodney, who looked nothing less than scandalized. "Relax, McKay. It's a type of knife, kind of. Maybe a sword? No, like a machete, with a bent blade. They're usually made in Nepal. So I guess it's not technically a kukri. It's really nice, though."

Rodney did not relax. Neither did Radek.

"Where did she get a machete?" Radek wondered.

"Same place she got the throwing knives, I'd imagine." Sheppard shifted in his seat. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. It's not like Ronon's doing anything to encourage it."

Small comfort. "Are you sure?"

Sheppard rolled his eyes and turned back, taking his eyes off the final approach to the Stargate. That didn't exactly make Radek feel better. "I'm sure. She is fifteen years old." He turned back around and finished, "In case it wasn't clear, that means Ronon is definitely not interested."

"What do we really know about Sateda?" Radek pointed out. After all, they'd met several societies who did all kinds of courting rituals all kinds of younger-than-fifteen. "What if being uninterested is… what they do?" Considering different planets' cultural norms. That area of study was not located anywhere near his pay-grade. Thank god.

Sheppard snorted and radioed Atlantis that they were on final approach.

Radek kept quiet when they went through the Stargate. After the dazzling light display of 'gate-travel, Radek watched the Control Room fall away as they went up to the Jumper Bay.

Colonel Sheppard was probably right. There wasn't anything to it. Even if there was, nothing would come of it, and there wasn't anything Radek could do about it, anyway.

"She'll grow out of it in no time," Sheppard said as he opened the door in the back.

Not no time, but Radek appreciated the thought. It would take time. The only question was… how much time?

Next time: Yes, I know I'm a failure. Anything else you want to talk about while you're here?