Reminder:
"This is spoken English."
"This is spoken Czech."
This is a thought.

Previously: No one is okay after the disaster (in chapter 52) on that project Radek and science-people have been working on (since chapter 43). So, of course, Rodney's going to do something crazy.

Chapter 54. The Laws of Physics and Friendship.

Anna put her fingers through her hair as she went out into the main room. Her eyes still felt puffy and sore from last night, but they didn't look any different than usual. This morning she felt… fine. Like she had misplaced something important, sure. But otherwise, okay.

To her surprise, a bleary-eyed Radek sat on the couch, surrounded by a few tablets connected by wires. It looked like each was running a separate test, and a couple had separate boards holding a dozen equations, models, and diagrams that Anna didn't recognize.

"Morning," Anna said when he said nothing. She hesitated. He just nodded what she assumed was a "Good morning." Or maybe just a "morning." He didn't look very good. She didn't expect anyone on the science team was particularly good this morning. "How long have you been up?"

Radek glanced at a tablet and mumbled, "I haven't slept yet. Not really."

Anna sighed, looking at him with a disapproving glint. He was just going to make himself sick again. Study himself into the ground. "We all feel bad about Collins, but it's no reason to kill yourself."

"No, it's not that. Almost." Radek slid the computer off his knee onto the coffee table. "Rodney is going back to the planet today with Colonel Sheppard, if he's not already gone. There's no way he's ready. There's no—I don't think it can be controlled." He looked up at her.

Anna wasn't quite sure what he meant, but he certainly looked concerned. "You mean…"

"I mean if he goes back there with the plan he told me about last night, he'll be the one killing himself."

Anna paused next to the couch. She didn't expect he was being hyperbolic, not with the events of yesterday still hanging low over their heads. "You have to stop him."

Radek smirked. "In case you didn't realize yesterday, listening is not exactly one of Rodney's areas of strength." At Anna's frown, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap. I don't know what to do. He will die. He'll take Colonel Sheppard with him, and they'll both be incinerated. If they're lucky."

"Then you have to come up with something else." Anna wasn't sure that Doctor McKay deserved to be saved from himself in this case. On the other hand, John didn't deserve to be burnt to a crisp because of Doctor McKay's arrogant ineptitude.

And Radek didn't deserve to have Doctor McKay's death on his conscience, either. It would just be better for everyone if nobody else died because of this thing. Even Anna had to admit... no, she knew for sure. She wasn't very fond of him right now, but she didn't want Doctor McKay to incinerate himself and the whole planet.

Radek obviously didn't, either. Just last night, Radek had been defending Doctor McKay beyond the call of professional duty. He'd stayed up all night and, if this untouched glass of tepid alcohol on the counter was any indication, he'd done his best to keep his mind clear while doing so.

"But I can't do nothing, either," Radek mumbled.

Anna shrugged. "Maybe Elizabeth can make him listen."

Radek sniffed disdainfully at that. Doctor McKay listened to no one, least of all people who didn't know the first thing about science.

"She can at least make him stop what he's doing."

Radek looked up at her. "That's true. She can."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

The look on Radek's face said he even he didn't know. "He won't listen to me." All the same, he sighed and looked at his tablet. He picked it up and started tapping, dejectedly, on the screen. "What am I saying? I can't even bring this to Elizabeth until I'm sure."

"I shouldn't interrupt, then." Anna looked toward the door, then at Radek. "Shall I bring you breakfast?"

He smiled, but didn't look up at her. "That would be generous. Thank you."

Anna nodded and slid out the door. He didn't say it, but he was worried. Very. She was fairly confident that he could come up with something convincing soon. After all, it seemed like a much easier task to be able to come up with reasons that something shouldn't work than to come up with reasons why it should.

Like a friendship between Doctor Rodney McKay and, well, anyone.

It was easy to assume that now, when he was arguably at his lowest. One of his science team died on his watch yesterday on an experiment he was running. Anna didn't know how she would feel if something like that happened to her in the future. She hoped she would never be so stupid as to summarily dismiss the work of a collective of scientists who'd managed to make a city-spaceship.

Maybe Doctor McKay wasn't thinking. She knew she wasn't thinking. If she did start thinking, she'd think of Collins. And she didn't want to do that right now.

She stepped out of the transporter into the mess hall. The usual culprits grabbed a dish of food and ran out on their way to their labs. Others took a seat with friends and coworkers to discuss the day's work, or, better yet, something entirely unrelated.

A lot of people were talking about Project Arcturus' abject failure.

She took a tray as she stood in the queue. Radek liked a simple breakfast, toast and coffee most of the time. On the other hand, he was probably running on fumes. He hadn't slept since the night before last. She poured a generous cup of coffee, and grabbed some toast and bacon. He could use the protein.

"Hello, Anna." Anna slowed her walk just enough to see Teyla stepping up beside her. "I heard about Doctor Collins. We are sorry for the loss."

Anna nodded. She was, too. But not as sorry as they were going to be if they didn't snatch Doctor McKay back from the brink of this self-destructive behavior. "Thank you," she said as she made her way toward the transporter.

"Where are you going?" Teyla asked.

"Back to my quarters. Radek hasn't had breakfast," she said.

"Oh, I just came from the control room." Teyla stopped walking. "Doctor Zelenka ran past me as I was leaving. I think he said something about why the test didn't work."

"Really?" Anna didn't know whether to be excited or terrified. He'd finished that up quickly. Maybe he'd been on the trail of something important and the promise of coffee pushed him over the edge. "Here—um, do you mind?" She shoved the tray off on Teyla. Food and drink wasn't technically allowed in the Control Room. Radek was usually the first person to yell at 'gate technicians for spilling everything all over their delicate equipment.

Teyla smiled obligingly. "No, of course not." She paused a moment, taking on a serious look. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," Anna said. If Radek was running, that meant that he'd tried to find Doctor McKay and he was already gone. If that was true… "I'll find out soon. Thank you, Teyla!"

Anna jumped into the transporter and tapped the Central Tower as soon as both feet landed inside. As soon as the doors whooshed open, Anna flew down the stairs just in time to see Radek wringing his hands in Elizabeth's office. She looked serious as she led the way out into the Control Room.

"I hope you're wrong, Radek," she said sternly before addressing Chuck. "Dial Colonel Sheppard."

"Yes, ma'am," Chuck said.

Chuck started pressing buttons. Anna slid up next to Radek and waited. He glanced at her like he was surprised to see her there.

"I'm sure Rodney would have come to the same conclusion with more… um, time," Radek said. He sighed and shook his head. "He stopped listening to me. I hope you'll be able to get through to him."

"I hope so, too," Elizabeth said. "I can't afford to lose both Rodney and John."

Radek nodded gravely.

Elizabeth turned to look toward the 'gate. The wormhole established, throwing the room into a silver-blue glow. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Atlantis."

The comm clicked and Colonel Sheppard's voice spoke into the Control Room. "Go ahead."

"Is Doctor McKay with you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course, I am," Doctor McKay snapped.

Radek set his jaw in worry. This wasn't a promising start.

"But we're a little busy getting ready to run a test here."

"Actually," Elizabeth said carefully, "I would like you to delay the test firing."

"Why?" John asked.

"We have reason to believe that the weapon's power source…" Elizabeth hesitated and glanced back at Radek for confirmation. "It may not be controllable at any power level."

"Radek?" Doctor McKay's voice snapped over like a question and a scolding all at once.

Radek took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for a blow. "Rodney."

"We've been over this. I'm doing this manually, at half power. It's a cakewalk," Doctor McKay said.

"I don't think it matters how much cake you walk on," Radek said, obviously trying to maintain calm. Doctor McKay didn't sound the least bit nervous about putting both his and Colonel Sheppard's lives in danger. "I've been doing calculations of my own and I believe that the very act of trying to contain vacuum energy from our own space-time creates an environment where the laws of physics cease to apply."

"What are you on about?" Doctor McKay demanded.

"As power output increases," Radek explained, probably more for Elizabeth's understanding than Doctor McKay's. "New and exotic particles are continuously created and destroyed inside the containment chamber, interacting with each other and with the field itself. Eventually, particles are created that cannot be prevented in this space-time, and they breach the containment field as hard radiation."

Anna was convinced. Hard radiation equaled bad. Dead. Explosions and incineration.

Doctor McKay was having none of that. "As long as I'm monitoring the energy output manually, I can stop that before it happens."

"You cannot predict something that is inherently unpredictable!" Radek threw his hands toward the speaker, like Doctor McKay could somehow see him. Even Colonel Sheppard's questions didn't sway Doctor McKay. "Rodney, I am trying to tell you, as a friend, I have serious doubts."

Anna looked up. Did anyone else hear what she just heard?

Maybe no one was listening. Anna didn't know a lot about Doctor McKay, but she knew one thing for sure… he didn't have a lot of friends. And certainly not a lot of friends who would admit to that in a room full of people.

But Doctor McKay didn't even hesitate. "Well, you're wrong. I'm sorry, but there it is. And to bring this up now when I am just about to do this smacks of nothing but professional jealousy."

Radek took a step back. "Fine!" he shouted at the Stargate. "Kill yourself, just like the Ancients did!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Colonel Sheppard interrupted. "What do you mean by that?"

"If the overload is allowed to continue, the weapon acts as a sort of release valve to prevent catastrophic containment failure," Radek went on, probably just for Colonel Sheppard at this point. Doctor McKay stopped listening a long time ago. "The Ancients barely managed to shut it down, and they lost their lives in the process."

"We're suggesting the Wraith didn't kill everyone on that planet," Elizabeth said. "It was the weapon itself."

"Yes, congratulations," Doctor McKay interjected. "You've solved the mystery of how the Ancients screwed up ten thousand years ago. It doesn't mean I will do the same. Look, I don't know how else to say this, but none of you are capable of understanding this on the same level that I do." He paused for half a second. "And, Zelenka, that includes you."

So there it was. Doctor McKay went so far as to whip out the last-name address. Radek threw his hands up and walked away. No one could say Radek didn't try. Not even Radek.

Anna sighed and leaned against Chuck's console while Elizabeth and Doctor McKay continued to argue. She didn't listen, because it was pretty obvious how it was going to end. Doctor McKay assured her that he wasn't wrong. Everything would be fine. He could do this.

And Elizabeth believed him.

John promised to call back after the test and the wormhole shut down.

Radek's fingers were raked through his hair as he heaved a sigh. He shook his head. "He is going to kill himself."

"We'll dial back in a bit if they haven't yet," she answered. Her shaky voice said that she wasn't sure of the decision she'd just made. No one seemed to be.

"I certainly hope so. There might not be a 'gate to dial by then."

Elizabeth locked him in a look of shock and amazement.

Radek shook his head, picking up his tablet. He looked up suddenly. "The Daedalus. Can the Daedalus check on them?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll call up Colonel Caldwell immediately. I'm sure he'll be interested to look in on the experiment no matter what happens."

"Covertly."

"Covertly." Elizabeth smiled half-heartedly.

He started to walk out of the Control Room, but stopped at the doorway. "Tell me if they make it back?"

"Of course," Elizabeth answered. She hesitated, then added, "When they do, Doctor. When they do."

"Yes." Radek sighed and turned to leave the room. "Yes, I hope so."

Anna held her breath and looked toward Elizabeth. "I hope… I hope Radek's wrong." She waited for Elizabeth to nod her agreement. She didn't really hope he was wrong. More like she hoped that Doctor McKay came to his senses soon. "But I don't think that he is."

If Anna stepped back and looked at it, he hadn't really been wrong yet. Sometimes he didn't do what he thought he should. This time he did. That was all anyone could ask for, right?

It was all anyone should ask for.

Anna wasn't too surprised to find Radek in the mess hall, picking over a selection of bacon, hard boiled eggs, and toast. His cup of coffee was already half gone. She went to stand next to him. "So much for that," she mumbled.

Anna didn't know what to say. It was like sitting at the dinner table a few days before her mother died. Impending bad news made the bread heavy in her stomach. She hugged her arms and stared at the table full of food. She wanted to say something, but he was distracted. Too worried about Doctor McKay, probably.

He smiled tightly, sarcastically. "He didn't hear a word I said." He skimped on the bacon and topped off his coffee.

Anna picked a slice of toast for her small plate, and some apple juice.

Silence followed them to the table.

"Doctor McKay is lucky, though," she said quietly. "To have a friend who will yell at him like you did."

Radek sniffed in amusement. "Is that what we are?"

Anna shrugged. Smiled a little. Maybe Radek didn't hear a word he said, either.

"He will not see it that way, anyway," Radek said.

It didn't matter how Doctor McKay saw it. Anna didn't realize it before today, but worrying, not letting people go offworld without a stern talking-to, that was how Radek cared about people. "No one else does that," Anna pointed out.

"I suppose that's why he likes them better," Radek said. He finished up his bacon and picked up his coffee to head to the lab.

She tried not to think of it too hard, but that sort of made her sad. Doctor McKay had very few friends around here, didn't he? Anna caught up to him. "But it goes both ways."

Radek shrugged and stepped into the transporter. "I suppose," he mumbled. He obviously had no idea what she was talking about.

Neither did she, actually. She didn't know anything about friendship. She'd only had a few friends in her life. But since she had to start all over, she realized she had no idea how to make friends in the first place. In any case, she hoped that if she ever had a friend yell at her to be careful and not blow herself up on a science experiment, she'd listen.

"What are you going to do now?" Anna asked. Sleep was out of the question, with his sudden interest in coffee.

"Wait for them to get back," Radek answered. "I'll get a head start on some deep space sensor tests we were going to run when we got back." He shrugged, as if to ask what else he could do.

"Can I help?" Anna asked. Maybe she would get a proper lesson on Ancient/Human coding. Maybe she'd finally learn how to decipher the sensor readings and the different functions.

First genuine smile of the morning. "Certainly."

Next time: I don't say this kind of thing very often, but…