[a/n]MarcusRowland and Vukk have offered ideas in PMs so I'll be catching up there the next few 1shots.

Harry Does Different DXXXIV

Educational Decree 27

Educational Decree Number 27 - Any student found in possession of the magazine The Quibbler will be expelled.

Mr. Filch had just finished hammering the heavy iron nail into the wall outside the Great Hall and now the students could see the High Inquisitor's latest rule. Draco Malfoy was nodding and grinning with delight "Bou'time the authorities got rid of that rag."

"Now Draco, don't be too hard on Professor Umbridge." Pansy Parkinson seemed to criticize her seeming paramour, surprising the crowd "She only has so many hours in a day. And will do all that us children need." *simper*

Ron was all set to start an argument with Malfoy, but Hermione took to the difficult task of sidestepping that. Harry tuned that out in favor of the younger Ravenclaw who looked saddened "Something troubling you, Luna Lovegood?" he asked kindly.

"Daddy is fond of our youngest subscribers, as he calls us." She sighed.

He understood at once " The Quibbler. Yeah I don't think it would be Umbridge's favorite paper. But that's just fine. Think I'm getting an idea on that. Ahhh …you know I have a membership… but how much do you usually charge for it from, like, a store?"

"6 Sickles." the blonde girl replied with a tilt of her head "Why?"

The boy was quite good at math. Especially money. After a moment said "Right. About 30 Galleons would get a hundred here, then. Think we can get that many for a one-shot?"

"What good would mass detentions do, Harry?" Luna wasn't in Ravenclaw for nothing.

He chuckled "A great deal my dear. I was thinking how lovely it would be for Slytherin to see a different point of view. Not all of course. Want to spread it around. But, certainly I have never got my great friend Draco a gift. His buddies the Twin Towers, even though he's not sure they can read."

"How would you know that?" she interrupted.

He flicked her nose, insolently "That would be telling. My year, I can handle who to pick, but go a bit heavy on Slytherin. Can't neglect the cheerful Head, naturally. And by the way, ALL the professors. Oh! That's why! See did you ever offer a subscription to Professor Toadf - - - sorry, Umbridge? Must be why she banned it. Make sure your Dad sends an apology letter with hers."

"And due thanks to Harry Potter." Offered Luna, very sincerely.

He demurred "I appreciate it, but no. You see how I get all the attention around here. Say, print something like it's your anniversary or you had a great year. Anything BUT naming You-Know-Me. Okay?"

Giggle* "I am sure we can figure out something." She promised.

Abcij

With back and forth owls, and the issue schedule, it was two weeks before the scheme went off. The plotters neither sought nor avoided each other that Saturday. High Inquisitor Umbridge had furiously cancelled Hogsmeade weekend, citing a complete breakdown in discipline. She fumed over the Headmaster's refusal to impose a lockdown. The lunch owls began tamely enough, until a whole flock entered together. It began with a pair towing a banner:

SPECIAL MIDDLE OF THE MONTH QUIBBLER

A parcel first landed between Fred and George. Unconcerned with consequences, the twins opened it. The font was such as to be read at the Head Table. Whether High Inquisitor Umbridge was more happy than furious, or vice versa, the other way around was difficult to tell. Her face was flushed red as she screeched "THAT IS A BANNED PUBLICATION, specifically by Decree#27! You tWo are BOTH! EXPELLED!~!"

"Whoopppiieeee!" this was not the expected response. Nor, when they next engaged in a jig their Housemate appreciated.

Deliveries of The Quibbler went on. Lavender Brown was expelled, followed by the Creeveys, Neville Longbottom and the Gryffindor Chasers. The last had little impact as the House was not even remotely in the Cup race after not being allowed to reform. From there, the expulsions spread out. Touching Ravenlaw with Ernie MacMillan and Terry Boot, Luna was NOT spared. Susan Bones did not even flinch at the vicious lecture that accompanied hers. Hannah Abbott, though not a subscriber, was only three steps behind her redhaired friend, pausing just long enough to spit on the floor. Then nine, yes NINE Slytherins!. Silence fell when the tenth landed in front of Draco Malfoy.

"Hey Draco. I didn't know Crabbe could read." Other than insulting, the remark was meaningless to almost everyone. But not Ron, who even knowing it was coming, snorted his butterbeer.

The blond Slytherin shouted "How could you know that Pot- -!"

"GET OUT OF MY SCHOOL POTTER!~!" raged Umbridge, face reminiscent of Vernon.

This was the signal for the last few waiting owls to deliver The Quibbler to the Head Table. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Snape and Sprout all got one. So did former Professor Trelawney.

"Well, I think we can expand the interpretation of #27 to include staff as well." Umbridge's smile was both sugary and sinistery "Now we can get some real Ministry loyalty back in this school."

This was what Harry and Luna had been waiting, just outside, for. He whistled in a very specific manner. A snowy white owl with a red envelop entered, spun around the Hall a couple times, then delivered her load. A male voice echoed from the howler.

MADAM UMBRIDGE

PLEASE ACCEPT THE QUIBBLER'S PROFOUNDEST APOLOGY FOR MISSING YOUR DELIVERIES. ENCLOSED ARE THE FOUR MISSING PAPERS. YOU WILL RECEIVE THE NEXT FOUR EDITIONS COMPLIMENTS OF MANAGEMENT. THE QUIBBLER WOULD LIKE TO THANK AN ANONYMOUS BENFACTOR FOR FUNDING OUR HOGWARTS DELIVERY. THIS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL THE END OF THE SEMESTER.

THANK YOU

XENOPHILIUS LOVEGOOD, EDITOR

This red envelope did not shred itself, merely retieing its lacey pink string and settling on the table in front of her.

"My word, Delores, most unfortunate" this from Albus in his most grandfatherly tone "It does appear you have violated your own educational decree. As Headmaster I have ultimate responsibility in this matter. Regrettably, I must relieve you of your duties forthwith."

The witch flushed a violent shade of purple and croaked "How dare you! Of all the complete rubbish!"

"Cornelius may, of course, fill the position again." The Headmaster went on, unruffled "But we of the staff must be above reproach. To be seen enforcing rules on children we cannot obey ourselves is setting a poor example. Please advise your superior of the need to a replacement. Thank you."

Even MORE furious, but displaying a smirk, she gloated "At the very least, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has been purged of sedition and treason."

"Acting as High Inquisitor Pro-Tem" Dumbledore's voice penetrated every nook and cranny of the castle "all punishments imposed under all recent educational decrees are hereby declared null, void and revoked." At the toad-witch's triumphant expression, he concluded "That, Madam, does not include people who cannot follow their own rules. Now, I'll ask Mr. Filch to assist you on your way." With that, the Headmaster took his seat and buried his face in a copy of the formerly banned publication.