Reminder:
"This is spoken English."
"This is spoken Czech."
This is a thought.

Previously: Since Anna found out (in chapter 87) that Radek's been keeping a pretty big secret from her (since chapter 83), she's kind of ducked out to spend time with Iskaan instead. Radek's accepted that he's going to the planet with all the kids on the anniversary of his ex-wife's death (since chapter 86). Could things get any worse? (Is it a spoiler to say the answer is always yes?) (Consolation: I try to make the payoff worth.)

Chapter 91. Got You.

Enough avoiding the issue.

It was important for Anna to know that he would be offworld tomorrow, right? Even if he didn't tell her anything else, he needed to tell her this. If he didn't, and just disappeared tomorrow—? No, that would be the worst possible way to handle it. He always knew that not handling it was the worst of all his options, but he did it anyway.

He shouldn't hurt her any more than he already had.

It was a little self-important to believe his falsehood of omission had an impact on Anna's outlook that anywhere rivaled how she must be feeling about the anniversary of Eliška's death. On the other hand, he would rather believe his actions had some effect, rather than none. Wouldn't he? Even if it were bad?

Selfishly, Radek decided it would be worse to mean nothing.

This morning, he managed to drag out of her that she was going to be studying with Carson. It would be nice, probably, talking to her in the presence of other human beings. That way she might at least find it in her favor to pretend to be cordial. One thing was for certain, Carson was somehow far better at the "wordless scolding" than Radek was.

Maybe it was all those siblings…

Radek considered himself lucky to actually find her in the infirmary until he realized that a blood test might be in order for him anyway.

Carson was the first to acknowledge his coming into the infirmary with a nod and a smile. He patted Anna's shoulder as he rose. "One moment, dear," he said to her. "Read up on the organelle functions… there will be a test later."

She gave him a playful sneer in response. A moment later, she saw Radek.

Her expression was really unidentifiable as either good or bad. Mostly neutral.

"Here to donate some blood to science?" Carson joked. The gloves were already going on.

Radek sighed. "More or less." Better to think of it that way. At least he knew for absolutely certain by now that he had no blood disorders. He'd know the moment his cholesterol or blood sugar was even slightly out of balance in his blood stream.

He took a seat on an examination table and looked at Anna while Carson went about his business of gathering the usual instruments of anguish.

"Anna, I have to go offworld tomorrow."

To his surprise, she glanced up suddenly, seeming… upset.

Maybe it was better to mean nothing.

"I tried to talk Rodney out of it, but he won't budge, you know?"

A very slow nod was the only response he got for a long time. Carson walked up to him, looking very somber for his jolly mood of just a minute ago. He looked up at Radek with a disapproving glare—at least that's what Radek thought it looked like.

Radek wanted to object that it wasn't his fault this time. He would own up to it if it were his fault—what was one more item on the list of his shortcomings? But he wasn't taking this one on when he didn't have to.

"It was a miscommunication, and Rodney just wouldn't… I'm sorry, I really did try to stay on Atlantis." And she could ask Major Lorne if she didn't believe him.

Major Lorne was approximately infinitely more understanding than Rodney was.

Anna shrugged and stood from her seat. "Um. It's okay. I wasn't going to do anything."

"I know, and that's… that's not what I hoped for."

"It's okay, I don't mind. Have fun offworld." She turned away toward the door, saying to Carson as she went, "I'm going to go get a snack, Doctor Beckett. Or lunch, actually. I'm pretty hungry. I—uh, I'll be right back."

Carson watched her go, looking ultimately apologetic. Even Radek knew that sound in her voice, the wavering tone that meant she was trying hard not to cry. He gave a sigh and looked back to Radek's arm.

Radek didn't even notice he was just about finishing up removing his pound of flesh. Or, maybe liter of blood. Radek sighed. "You can yell at me now."

Carson looked baffled. "What?"

At least, judging by the look on Carson's face only a moment ago, it might have been a reasonable response. "I shouldn't be leaving Atlantis, tomorrow of all days."

"Probably."

Radek hesitated, giving Carson a sideways glance. "You aren't going to yell at me, are you?" He almost wished that he would. Even though there was nothing that he could do about it, he would have liked to think about something other than Anna crying over her sandwich in the mess hall right now.

He chuckled, and finished writing Radek's name on the vials. "No, I don't think so."

"Somebody probably should."

"Everybody makes mistakes, you know," Carson said. He paused his writing on the vials. "Just wait. It won't be long before this whole thing blows over and you'll be arguing about something else."

Radek glared. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Carson shrugged. "I wasn't saying it to make you feel better. Not really. It's just my prediction." He finished writing Radek's name and deposited them with the next batch to be tested. He spun toward Radek. "I do have one question, though…"

"Anything, so long as it isn't about Anna." Radek sighed. "I guarantee I won't know the answer."

Carson hesitated for a while, like maybe his question was about Anna and he didn't know what to do now that it was off-limits. Finally, though, he spoke. Quietly. "Doctor Elizabeth Weir?" Like it was still a secret even though odds were good the whole city knew more about it than Radek did.

"Or that," Radek added.

"I guess it wasn't really a question. More like… I don't want to be insulting. But there is a bit of disbelief in there somewhere." He chuckled and shook his head.

It certainly sounded insulting, but Carson never meant to be insulting. It was a little unbelievable.

"How is Lieutenant Cadman?" he asked, hoping that Carson would have something better to report about his romantic relationship.

"Oh." Carson sighed like that was not a good question. Putting his hands in his lab coat pockets, he shrugged a bit sadly. "She's, uh, she's going back to Earth actually."

Radek had heard nothing of that. Actually, now that he thought about it, he hadn't heard anything about the two of them at all. He often wondered what it was the two of them had in common… next to some fairly intense one-directional attraction. As far as Radek knew. He just knew that Carson had never said a single word about Cadman before she got stuck in Rodney's head.

"I'm sorry; I didn't—"

"Oh, it's fine. It's not—well, I don't know." Carson half-laughed and shrugged. "It's different, and that's perfectly fine with me. I think some space between us could be good." He paused and gave Radek an narrowed stare, as though Radek might know the answer to a question he was asking himself. "I think it's something to do with our first kiss being through Rodney."

Radek shuddered involuntarily. Rodney was not someone he wanted to think about in such circumstances. Not in most circumstances. "My sympathies for that."

"Appreciate it," Carson returned sarcastically.

"It seems trauma like that would stay with you," Radek offered in pity.

"Oh, aye, I have nightmares about it." And, now, Radek couldn't tell if Carson was being hyperbolic or not. It was apparently Carson's turn to shudder, and he looked around for something else to talk about. At least, Radek thought, he seemed to have forgotten Elizabeth. "Well, good luck offworld tomorrow."

"Thank you." Radek made to leave when Carson interrupted him again.

"I was thinking, Doctor Adams is going to the mainland tomorrow."

Radek nodded. Anna was going to need something to do tomorrow. The mainland was a common suggestion, apparently. Radek hoped it would be enough. "That might work. I'll offer that to her."

He didn't have to track Anna down right now to ask her. He went to the lab to see the results of an overnight test he was running instead. The lab was somehow quieter than usual. The whispers had died down, the quiet conversations, and surreptitious glances.

Nothing lasted forever.

#

There was nothing around here to think about, and that was the problem. Anna traced her way through the hallways until she remembered that she was fairly hungry. It might have been an excuse, but it wasn't a lie.

She stood in front of the food laid out for lunch and decided that none of it looked particularly good to her. She tried to eat a pasta salad, but it didn't seem to agree with her. She began walking again shortly after lunch. She imagined that Radek had left the infirmary by now and she could probably go back.

Anna didn't go back to the infirmary. Instead, she found herself several levels up in the central tower, above the control center, in the Jumper Bay. At first, it seemed completely empty, until her silence for several seconds was interrupted by a rustling around on the other side of the bay. She went into the center of the room to see that the back door to Jumper Four was standing open, and Iskaan was picking up a crate from a pile outside.

Iskaan noticed her a moment later. "Oh, hello." He smiled, and Anna was surprised how much that cheered her. "I looked for you earlier, but I couldn't find you."

That was also fairly cheering, to be looked for. "I was in the infirmary studying with Doctor Beckett."

"I see," Iskaan said. He pulled the crate up into his arms and started heading into Jumper Four. "I'm glad you came to find me, then."

Anna followed him up the shallow ramp. The Jumper was filling up, slowly but surely. It didn't seem like there would be very much space left when he was done, but Anna was sure it was probably only Iskaan and one other Athosian on this trip. Plus the pilot, that would leave room for one more passenger to sit.

Suddenly, Iskaan was looking at her with some concern. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Anna shrugged. "Am I so obvious?"

"I don't know. Maybe not." Iskaan gave a small smile. "You are to me."

Her heart fluttered needlessly at those words, even though she tried not to let it. It seemed wrong, somehow. To be happy at all. Today of all days. Or maybe tomorrow. Any day at all. She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"That's nothing to apologize for," Iskaan said.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Anna wasn't really sure at the moment. She only knew that, right at this moment, she wanted to tell him everything. Tell him all about her mother, and how she felt worse today than she ever had. Tomorrow was unlikely to be any different. She wanted to tell him about Radek, how he'd lied to her. Or, at the very least, seemed to wish she wasn't here.

If she did that, though, who knew what he'd think of her.

Anna sighed. "Can we talk about something else?" Anything else, and she was sure she'd take it.

"I didn't know we were talking about something, but… you can talk to me about anything." Well, that certainly left her options wide open. Iskaan picked up a sack. "I don't know what we're talking about, so… if you could give some direction?"

Anna didn't know what to bring up to talk about. There had to be something more interesting to talk about than the weather. Had Iskaan seen they had pigeons yet?

"Are you coming to see me tomorrow?" Iskaan asked when Anna didn't say anything.

"I hope so," Anna said. With that, she moved into the Puddle Jumper and took a seat on the bench. That was a nice thing to talk about. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure…" Iskaan answered. "Whatever you want to do tomorrow, I hope."

Anna couldn't help a small smile, pleased for the change of direction in her thoughts as much as for his flattery. "Hey, Iskaan, can I ask you something…?"

"Of course." Iskaan went back to toting the things into the Puddle Jumper.

"It's a question about… us…" She glanced up to make sure he was receptive to the subject.

It was hard to tell whether he was or not. He halted his work outside the Puddle Jumper to look up at her. He looked shocked or confused. This was not the question he bargained for. "Us?" he repeated.

Anna wasn't sure there was an "us," come to think of it. She probably just irreparably embarrassed herself. At least she would know for sure. "I'm not sure there even is an 'us,' or ever would be, if you know what I mean," she added quickly.

Iskaan pulled a sack up on his shoulder. "Would you like there to be?"

"I don't know." Anna supposed that being honest was the best thing to be. She watched Iskaan put the sack on the bench across from Anna, wedged between a crate and another sack. He took his time about it, then turned to her.

"I don't know how… um… courting works for Athosians?" Anna said. Iskaan told her how their families functioned… or, rather, didn't function to Anna's view, but that didn't count. Established families were quite different from… well, wherever Anna wondered they were heading.

Where were they headed?

"I don't know." Iskaan shrugged. "I mean, I don't know how to explain it to you. I've never known anything different, and I wouldn't know what to tell you."

Anna nodded. That made some sense. She wouldn't know how to explain dating on Earth. Especially since she'd never dated before. She stood up next to him, keeping her eyes on her hands. "I'm just afraid you think of me something I don't think of you. Or maybe I think of you something you don't think of me."

"I guess that depends on what you think of me." Iskaan took a step closer, carefully, almost like Anna watched him approach a songbird in one of his traps once. He didn't want to scare them.

"I don't know if this is a good idea. And I don't want to go too fast. That's all." Anna hesitated, considering her words again. She really didn't say anything she wanted to, did she? Was Iskaan being cagey on purpose? "Is it a good idea?"

Iskaan chuckled. "We could find out." He took another step. "We could go slow."

Anna looked up at him. Her heart fluttered against her ribcage like it was trying to escape. Like that songbird. "Um," she said with a nod. "Maybe." She didn't realize how close he was to her when she took a step even closer.

This was hardly slow.

Iskaan wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. To Anna's surprise, she didn't fight him… She looked up into his warm, brown eyes for half a second. She could feel his heart beating right next to hers. His smile was like silk. When he leaned in, she closed her eyes. The feeling… what was this feeling?

She felt lost for a second. Nothing existed outside. Just the moment, the sensation, his lips and his hands.

He drew back, breaking the spell. "Well?" he whispered. "Does that answer your question?"

Anna looked down for a moment, at once giggling and fighting to breathe again. When he tilted her chin up toward his face, it seemed unimportant. She smiled a little. "I forgot what my question was."

"Good."

Anna was sure she could have lost hours like this. How did he do that? Make the cares of the day slip away into oblivion? She fastened a grip on his shirt collar, losing track of everything but his embrace. Everything but the beating of their hearts together. Everything but his strength, his warmth, and how she seemed to just fit in his arms when he pulled her close.

Losing track of everything, until she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

Iskaan broke away, spinning toward the entrance to the Puddle Jumper. Anna leaned back against the wall, catching in a breath. Iskaan put one arm in front of her protectively. Even though it was only Radek.

Only Radek.

A/N: See, this, I'm perfectly fine with. My characters. It's all good here. Keeping it real. I mean keeping it PG… Extremely PG. My modus operandi.

Next time: Uh. Busted?