Bella's Point of View
It was hard to imagine that I had this hidden power inside of me. That I wasn't actually a normal human girl. I never was. No wonder life never made sense to me. From the time I was a child, I never truly felt like I fit in alongside my peers. Although I had just assumed it was a problem with others, not me. It was a lot to come to terms with. But strangely enough, it was slightly comforting. It was nice to know that my birth parents didn't just toss me to the side and abandon me. They cared for me deeply. I just hoped that I'd have a chance to spend a little more time getting to know them.
The grim spent as much time as possible chatting with me and Edward. He answered as many of my questions as he could, before he was forcibly pushed back into the mirror. He had said farewell and promised to get back in touch with me soon. So, that's what I had to look forward to. We walked away from the stone monument, with a refreshed perspective.
"Well, that was a productive meeting. We've learned a lot, haven't we?" Edward chuckled as we returned to the car. He politely opened the passenger side door for me to get in.
I smiled, easing myself inside. "Yes, I couldn't be any happier."
Slowly, I watched as Edward casually strolled to the other side of the car, getting in with a pleased expression. "It's hard to believe, you are part of the blue bloods. You are considered royalty amongst our kind." He shook his head in disbelief.
"The grim doesn't want that to be common knowledge for the time being. So, it's best to not talk about that in public. I'm not even sure if I want anyone else to know. Just you. For now. Okay?"
"You can put your utmost faith in me. I won't tell a soul."
"Thanks, this is all a bit much for me to process."
Edward nodded, his smile going a little wider. His lip curled further upward, offering a crooked smile that left me breathless. "Where would you like to go next?"
"I should probably get back to Ana. But I don't think I'm ready to go home just yet. Do you think we could stop for… ice cream?" It was something I've been craving for a while. And today had turned out to be such a nice day. I wanted a little treat. I can say, I've honestly haven't felt this happy in a long time.
"That sounds great. I know just the place." He nodded as he turned the car on and peeled out of the empty parking lot.
We didn't drive for long, before I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I considered ignoring it, but I noticed it was Alice calling. I had no idea that she had my number. The only reason I had her's was because Edward had her number programed in my phone. It was even more surprising that she would actually be calling me.
Hesitantly, I pushed the phone to my ear. "Hello,"
"Isabella, I just received word of an update to one of my subordinate's reaping lists." Her tone was flat on the other end of the line. I couldn't hear even the faintest hint of emotion.
"An update? Who is it?" I muttered.
"It's your mother," She replied.
(Trigger Warning below: Graphic scenes of violence. Suicide)
Renee's Point of View
It's been a week since my daughter's funeral. Time seemed to go at a snail pace. Especially behind bars. The air in my cell was damp, causing aches throughout my joints. My neck in particular felt relentlessly stiff and uncomfortable. I shifted onto my side, watching out towards the hall. They kept the hall brightly lit, allowing some light to enter the cell. Even though it was nighttime, there was still so much noise. Yawning, coughing, burping, hushed whispers between bunkmates. It drove me insane. Couldn't there be any peace?
I'd been contemplating this for a while. Tonight was the night. I'd end it all. I wasn't sure if I'd have the courage to do so. But after speaking with Bella at the funeral, it was clear that I didn't have a family to return to when I got out. The only one left that had any love for me, is gone. My sweet Anabel. I would be by her side again. And Billy, my dear husband. I could reunite with him as well.
My life has been nothing but emptiness and grief since the day he passed. I should have known I couldn't go on without him. I just hoped that he would forgive me.
Slowly, I reached around my pillow, retrieving a razor place I had purchased from another prisoner here. In exchange for all my commissary, she gave me this single razor. It's not like I was going to need anything else.
"Is tonight the night Renee?" I heard a voice from under me.
I sighed, feeling my tears run hot down my cheeks. "Yes, I think I've had enough."
While I was here, I did manage to make one friend. A young woman named Leah. She was in here for drug possession. She was about Bella's age. The time we have spent together had helped me understand some of the mistakes I've made in the past.
"Do you have the letters?" Her voice was thick with emotion.
Again, I reached under my pillow, grabbing a few envelopes. I had written my last words down for Bella, Charlie and Edward. I wanted Bella to know everything. My feelings for her. And how difficult life has always been for me. I knew probably wouldn't care to read it. I didn't blame her for feeling that way. For Charlie, I wanted to apologize for all the trouble I've caused him. After all, he was the first man that I had truly loved. When our relationship fell apart, I fell in love with his brother. But my feelings for Charlie never truly dissolved. And as for Edward. Well, he would be the one to watch over the last piece of my heart. I needed him to know that it was now up to him to keep my Bella safe.
"Here, please mail these letters, as soon as you are released." I reached down, handing off the envelopes. Leah is a first-time offender, so she would only be here a few more weeks. I trusted that she would be able to follow through with my final wishes.
I felt her take the envelopes. "It was… really nice talking to you. I'm sorry things went this way. I just wanted you to know… I don't think you're an awful person. I'm sure your daughter will understand eventually." She said quietly.
"Thanks for saying that," I tried to smile, but I couldn't manage. "It was nice talking with you to."
TRIGGER WARNING
My hands shook uncontrollably as I held the blade against the skin of my neck. I felt the sharpness, the pain was indescribable. Fear kept me frozen for a second.
No, I deserve this agony. I'm nothing. My death means nothing. Just let go. Coward. Your family hates you. You hate yourself. Stop living. You alcoholic wretch.
Warmth began to spill down my throat. I forced the blade in deeper and as fast as I could manage, I swept it across my neck. Blood gushed through the gapping wound. The pain was unlike anything I've ever felt. I felt my skin hanging loosely. The sensation was like fire. And crippling torture. I forced my mouth shut, to remain quiet, not draw the attention of the guards. Regret was almost instant as I lost the energy to remain seated upright. I fell back against the bed, my hands going to my neck to attempt to stop the bleeding. Blood soaked my jumpsuit, the bedding. I gagged at the smell of rust and the taste of salt.
No. What the fuck was I thinking?!
Blood was filling my mouth; I choked on it as I attempted to call out for help. I felt myself losing consciousness just as I felt Leah climb up from the bottom bunk to start trying to help. I couldn't speak, even attempting caused further pain. My vocal cord must have been severed.
Leah's hands were on me, but I barely felt it. Her hands were now stained in my blood as it sputtered up from my neck, like the spray of a fountain. "Someone, please help!" She called out frantically as she tried applying pressure to the wound. But the blood wasn't stopping. I started to feel cold. The pain wasn't even affecting me anymore. I couldn't hold on.
Just as the doors to our cell opened, I felt it. Nothingness. Emptiness.
Suddenly, my vision returned, but I didn't know where I was. It was just a black void. With nothing in sight. But I felt a presence behind me. I turned slowly, taking in a hooded figure. Eyes glistening.
"Who are you?" I demanded.
For a second, I looked down at myself, but I couldn't see anything. I didn't have a body. There was no blood. I felt weightless.
"I'm here to offer you a choice. Death or rebirth." The hooded figure spoke.
"You didn't answer my question. What happened? Where am I?"
Why was I even asking these questions. I already knew what happened. I killed myself. Did I wish Leah and the guard was able to save me? With an injury like that, there was no way I could have survived. I was dead. But this place didn't look like heaven.
"Foolish woman. My existence is irrelevant. You're dead. Now, answer my question." The voice was feminine. I was sure, whoever this was, had to be a woman.
I blinked a few times, growing more irritated by the second. "I have a choice? I can come back to life?"
The figure didn't reply, just waited with subtle signs of impatience. "I have a reaping list to get back to. Make your choice already."
A reaping list? Like the grim reaper? Was that what was going on? The grim reaper exists? So, this individual is here to take my soul? But, she is giving me the option… to not have my soul taken? Was this allowed? Or am I actually just dreaming? Maybe this is just some nightmare. I didn't really kill myself. It's all just a dream.
"If I choose to stay, will I go to hell?" I played along, hoping this dream would start to lighten up. This was a chilling experience. I hoped that I'd wake up soon.
"I have nothing to do with that. But if you don't decide quickly, I'll make the choice for you."
I thought about it for a while longer. If this wasn't really a dream, I should consider this seriously. Did I really want to be dead? No, I don't think so. I still had Bella. Didn't I? I could mend our relationship. There was still time for that. "Fine, let me be reborn."
The hooded figure nodded and with the wave of a skeletal hand, I lost my vision once again. I felt like I was moving. In a startlingly fast speed. The motion almost was nauseating. Then, suddenly, everything was still. A vibrant blue flame came into view. Standing by it was a woman. With raven black hair and strange eyes. She didn't appear happy to see me.
"Great, you're here." She snipped, scanning me over from head to toe. "I suspected you wouldn't be strong enough to continue living. But I didn't think you would kill yourself this soon."
"Who in the hell are you?" I didn't appreciate her tone.
"Matrika." She responded, before turning away from me with a sour expression.
"Weird name. But whatever. I decided to be reborn. I don't want to go to hell. So… what's next. What do we do from here?" I continued to hang onto the belief that this was just a dream. I wasn't actually having a conversation with anyone. Just a dream.
"What an arrogant bitch." she muttered, gliding a hand through her ebony curls. "I've been waiting a long time to tell you that. You're worthless. And if you think you are getting your old life back, you are sadly mistaken. I won't allow you to have contact with my daughter, ever again."
"What are you talking about? You don't know a thing about me. If anyone is a bitch here, it's you lady." I snarled. Who does she think she is? If I really did kill myself, had I known death was this complicated, I wouldn't have decided to end my life. This was all so confusing. Is any of this real? Was this all actually happening? Was I dead? Or was I dreaming? Everyone I've encountered has been awful towards me. Maybe I was already in hell.
"Renee, age forty-one. Grew up in the foster care system until ten years old. Then raised by a drunkard. Emotional, physically, sexually abused throughout your entire childhood. Failed relationships with tons of men, until marrying Billy Swan. Had a child with him. He passed away from cancer. Then your daughter passed away from cancer. Now, you are here, because you took your life in prison." she said with a bored expression on her face. "That sums it up, doesn't it?"
"How do you know all that?" I shrank back from her. No one knew about my past. I never even told Billy. Who was this mean old toad? "And you missed one thing. I have two daughters."
"No. You do not." She said each word with venom. "You had the honor of adopting my daughter for a short time. She was never yours and as long as I'm here, she never will be."
"So, you're telling me, your Bella's birth mother?" Her words were a shock to my system. I never thought I would get to meet her. In truth, I never wanted to. She was always my daughter. It was hard to picture her as anything other than that. I now believed that I wasn't dreaming. This really was happening.
"Yes, your role with her has ended. Now that you are here, I'll assign you a new task." She continued, allowing a fake smile on her face. Her smile wasn't friendly. Actually, it was a bit scary. I had a feeling that she really didn't like me. And whatever task she was going to give me; I wasn't going to like.
"Why did you leave her at the bottom of a coal mine? What kind of mother are you?" I grumbled.
Her lips twitched, fighting to hold that ingenuine smile on her face. "A mortal such as yourself wouldn't understand. We knew Billy would find her there. Him and only him. We wanted to make sure of that. So, she was placed there and with a small mine collapse, he was able to reach her."
"Why Billy? I mean… what if he turned out to be a bad guy?"
"We knew Billy was the man for this job. After all, he is a distant relation to our family. We trusted that he would be the best choice for our daughter. We didn't have much faith in you."
Of course they didn't. And they were right to think this way. I've been making mistakes my entire life. And I wasn't much of a mother to Bella. I had hoped that I would do better with Ana. But I wasn't any better. I was a failure.
I let my head down, feeling the urge to cry, but no tears would fall. My heart felt broken, yet hollow at the same time. I looked down at myself, I didn't recognize any part of me. My shoulders trembled.
"I'm sorry," I coughed out, feeling a snag in my throat.
"I'm not interested in your pathetic apologies. Shut your filthy mouth and listen to what I tell you." She growled at me, her eyes shimmering a mixture of red and blue. "You should have decided to pass on, you shouldn't have picked to be reborn. That was your last mistake."
I swallowed hard. "Is it to late to change my mind?"
"Yes. It's too late. Your soul belongs to me now. It's pointless to give you another chance at being a human in your current state. Your soul has been through so much suffering. The only way to give you another shot would be to take all your memories. Give you a clean slate. You will forget who you were. Your past. Everything. Restart with a new life" Matrika lifted her hand, a glow illuminating each of her fingers.
My eyes widened as I felt a blanket of warmth fall down over me. My mind became foggy, I could no longer concentrate. Her image became distorted for a few seconds, before everything went black.
There was no way to tell how long I had been unconscious. But when I woke, I found myself lying in a soft bed. A small stuffed animal was in my arms. I squeezed it tightly to myself, feeling some level of comfort. My eyes scanned all over the room. It was very plain in appearance. There were machines beeping around me. It was a hospital room. There was pressure around my head. My body felt stiff. I groaned in discomfort.
I tried to remember what I had been doing before all this but couldn't think of anything. No memories. I didn't even know my own name.
"Honey," A soft but frantic voice called out to me.
I turned in the direction of a woman. She was beautiful, light brown hair and eyes that matched.
"Doctor, my daughter came back to life! Please get in here. Help us." A man on the other side of me yelled out, making me jump. He had tears streaming down his cheeks as he raced to the door of the room.
The woman quickly took my hand, squeezing it lightly. "Angie, can you hear me sweetheart. Momma and daddy are right here." She was crying as well.
Doctors and nurses filled the room in a stupor. They were all talking at the same time, running tests and trying to make sense of what was happening. This was a bit overwhelming. But after clearing my throat, I tried to speak.
"W-what happened?" My voice was so light. It didn't sound like it was really my voice.
"Angela, you've been in a coma for the last three months. We aren't sure how you are awake right now. It's a miracle. We are happy to see you awake." The main doctor spoke. He offered me a genuine smile. "You were in a terrible accident."
Again, I looked around the room, trying to remember anything. But it was blank. I had to just believe what these people were saying. I had no other options. "I can't remember anything… I don't know who any of you are."
The woman and man that had been crying looked devastated, as they now turned to the doctor. "She has no memory. Is this to be expected? Is there anything we can do?" The man said, overflowing with emotion.
The doctor remained calm. "This is very common among cases of young children going into a coma. Most of the time, it isn't permeant. But in this case, it's likely permeant. She sustained a lot of trauma to her brain. It's unfathomable that she even has brain function at this point. Like I said, a true miracle."
"It's alright darling. She is alive. We can make new memories." The woman said with a kind smile as she now ran a gentle hand through my hair. The touch was nice. I felt immense comfort from it. Without another thought, I hugged myself to her tightly.
Yes, this must be my mother. And the man, was my father. That's the truth right?
"We still have a long road ahead of us, she will need to remain here under observation, until we are sure that she is alright. But for now, let's run some additional tests and get her something to eat." The doctor concluded.
"Thank you doctor," The man said, before returning to my side, offering me a cheerful smile. "How does that sound to you Angie?"
I nodded my head. "I am a little hungry." It was true. My stomach felt so empty. It was uncomfortable. But manageable.
As the medical staff left the room, the woman leaned in and kissed the top of my head. "So, you don't remember anything? Really? Not school? Or your siblings? Or even us?"
I shook my head. "No, nothing, everything is empty… please tell me."
"You are ten years old. You have two older brothers. We are your parents." The man said, opening his wallet to present a picture to me. The photo was of two teenage boys and a young girl standing between them. I didn't recognize any part of the picture. But I made the assumption that I was the little girl.
"You go to Boswell elementary school, where I work as one of the teachers." The woman said, adjusting her glasses from the edge of her nose, back up to its proper place. "Your father works as a lawyer. And couches the football team at the Boswell high school."
I blinked a few times, allowing this new information to sink in. "And who am I? What do I like?"
They looked at each other before looking to me with matching smiles. "You are our perfect little angel, that we love very much. And now that you are getting better, we will learn together, what things you like now and what kind of person you are now."
How do you think Bella will react to the news of her mother's death? Leave a review with your thoughts. Thanks for reading!