Chapter 9
His room was on the top floor of the inn and all the way to the back, but it was a working inn and the sounds of people readying for the day woke him just after sunrise. It was a beautiful day so he sat up and placed his feet on the sheepskin rug Heath had thoughtfully packed compliments of one of his own Derbyshire herds. He smiled as he looked at the bedding for the first time. He did not realize just how good of a valet Heath was until he did something like this. His bedding was all from Pemberly. It was as close to sleeping in his own bed as was possible.
His next thoughts were of how to get Elizabeth into his bed to enjoy linen sheets, eiderdown pillows, and virgin wool blankets against bare skin. And, since Heath was such a clever fellow he decided to ask him how the deed could be accomplished.
Dressed for the day, he leaned back in his chair and let Heath shave him. He waited until Heath put the razor away and was wiping the shaving soap off his face. "Heath, it occurred to me this morning as I was sitting on the edge of the bed that you packed all of my travelling gear. I appreciated putting my feet on a Derbyshire sheep rug. Otherwise, the floor was going to be quite cold."
"Yes, Sir."
"Since you are so clever at anticipating my every comfort can you think of any way to acquire Miss Elizabeth for me? I should like to have her sprawled out, naked, and willing in my bed."
Heath pulled the washcloth off Darcy's face and looked at him. "The easiest way to get her into your bed is to marry her. Otherwise, I can ask if she is susceptible to alcohol." He shrugged and carried on, "I can send a request to a certain tea shop in London for you if you care to use aphrodisiacs. Or, I can let you ask her if she would like to come upstairs and admire the handmade quilt your grandmother, the Countess of Matlock made for you."
Darcy grinned. "They are all good options. I think I will try the quilt one first since the wedding thing is going to take at least a few weeks if her mama has a say in things." Then he looked over at his bed and noticed the quilt. "Where did that quilt come from? I do not remember seeing it before."
Heath bowed before stepping back to deal with the basin of used water. "It was in one of the trunks you brought back from your castle in Scotland. I think it was part of your mother's wedding trousseau."
Darcy stood up and walked over to the bed to inspect the quilt up close. "It is very nice. I quite like the whitework that embellishes the different colors of muslin."
Heath rolled his eyes. He knew what whitework was, obviously. It was a bit of a stretch for Darcy to know what it was.
"Do not roll your eyes at me. I had to learn several terms regarding embroidery when Mrs. Ainsley was showing Georgie a few regional stitches." Then just to further vex Heath he continued in his blandest voice, "I do know the differences between broderie anglaise, Hardanger, Hedebo, and Mountmillick. Do you?"
"No, Sir. And furthermore, I do not give a damn."
Darcy laughed. "Good man. I shall quote you on that." He looked back at the quilted bedspread. "So, do you want to know which style it is?"
Heath shook his head. "Please refer to my previous answer. If you are quite finished with bedeviling me with your vast knowledge of embroidery I do have other concerns."
Darcy did know to keep his staff as content as possible. "By all means, Heath, do not let me use you ill. What concerns may I alleviate?"
The valet schooled his emotional state back into proper mien. Do you have any idea of how long we shall quarter here, Sir? I am inquiring due to the need to procure several of your personal items if we remain at this location. The easiest way to obtain said items if we are here long term is to give a list to your messenger and let him pick them up in London the next time you send an express. The next obvious choice is to give the list to the general mercantile and have them fill the order."
Darcy had been through this request before. "Go ahead and use the local mercantile first. Then let the messenger pick up any items not too bulky for him to carry easily, and then order the rest of them. You know I do not worry about your proclivity for shopping."
The rest of their conversation was of little import. Heath refused to address the situation of how to lure Elizabeth into Darcy's boudoir without causing a major scandal. Read as Compromise. The way Darcy was acting the compromise was only a matter of time. A very short time line; we are talking hours, not days.
One reason Darcy rose early was that the life of a gentleman farmer is not all leisure. Darcy did tend to his business assiduously. He was through with his correspondence by mid-morning. He had sent his messenger off to London and was in the great room when Bingley made his way from Netherfield Park to Meryton with both sisters in tow. They made for a pleasant diversion for the other customers trying to get a cup of tea before going back to their lives.
Caroline saw Darcy sitting by himself beside a window, reading a book and sipping a cup of tea. Let us just say she managed to ruin the perfectly pleasant morning he had been wiling away as he waited for an appropriate time to call on Miss Elizabeth. Caroline actually interrupted one of his fantasies regarding how to get into Miss Elizabeth's knickers when she immediately rushed over to him and began complaining about how boring the country is and how he needed to move himself back to Netherfield posthaste because he was the only bit of culture within miles of London and would he please come save her from utter boredom.
No apology. No conversation worth reporting. The only difference between this conversation and several prior ones was the several items of clothing on Caroline's anorexic spaghetti strand body. They could both pretend she was gorgeous while she kept her clothes on.
Mr. Darcy looked over at Charles and saw him standing there staring at Caroline. He wondered what was going through his head at observing firsthand his sister's obnoxious behavior. He could not resist standing and walking away from the yapping fake poodle. "Good morning, Bingley. How are you this fine morning? Do you have anything planned today that we need to get started on?"
Caroline glared at the retreating man who had not deigned to acknowledge her and whirled around to follow him. She added an extra ugly glare at Charles as he took his cue from Darcy and began expounding on his desire to call on the exquisite Miss Bennet. Would Darcy be interested in accompanying him on the mile or so walk to Longbourne?
Darcy had no intention of being Bingley's wing man. He empathetically stated that fact. "Bullshit! You can attend Miss Bennet while I lure Miss Elizabeth into my web."
The two fist-bumped and headed toward the door. A tankard smashed against the door just as Charles's hand closed around the doorknob. The tankard bounced off the door and smashed into Darcy's face.
Charles did not have time to save Caroline. Blood dripping from the cut across his left eyebrow, Darcy turned and walked over to where the deranged bitch was shrieking, "How dare you ignore me!"
Darcy stopped in front of her and spoke clearly and concisely. "Madam, you have my full attention."
She tittered as she reached up with a napkin she pulled off the table and started to dab at the wound she had inflicted. "Oh, Mr. Darcy, I am so sorry. I did not mean to hurt you."
His benign act dropped as he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her over to a bench where he then sat down, "That is where we are at odds, Miss Bingley. I fully intend to inflict pain on you. I am tired of you acting like a two-years-old while demanding you be treated with all due deference." As he spoke, he yanked her across his lap facing downward. Before anyone could stop him, he yanked her skirts up over her head and grabbed the wooden ladle that had been lying forgotten on the table once breakfast was finished.
Bingley took two steps toward Darcy with his hands out. "Darcy!" Was all he uttered before the first whack of the spoon on her bloomers covered bottom sounded loudly in the silence of the horrified room.
Caroline's wails increased with each swat from the spoon. Despite her screams no one interfered with the gentleman from Derbyshire disciplining the harpy. When he finished the sixth swat he placed the spoon back on the table and stood up without helping her to regain her feet.
She tumbled to the floor face first and busted her lip on the rough boards. Instead of complaining like she normally would she rolled over and sat up. That elicited a pained scream from putting pressure on her bruised bottom.
Darcy was having no more of it. He stood there glaring down at her. "Before you start anymore nonsense be advised that any further tantrums where you throw things and trash rooms with your violent rages this is how it is going to be dealt with. This was the sixth time I have personally witnessed you terrorizing and wounding other people to get what you want. It stops NOW!"
Caroline heard him roar and decided to keep quiet. She blinked up at him but did not speak.
"Do you understand?" was snapped by a still irate Darcy. His glare was almost enough to make her wet herself.
She did not trust her voice as she nodded her acquiescence.
"Speak, woman. Any other time you are yapping incessantly like a badly trained hound."
Tears welled in her eyes. Thoroughly humiliated, she managed to choke out a 'yes' that was audible.
"Good!" Was all he said as he reached over on the table and picked the ladle back up. He handed it to Charles while telling the barmaid on duty to charge his account for the ladle. "I have just shown you how to deal with the bloody walking nightmare you call a sister. If she ever behaves like this again where I see it, you may be assured I shall beat her again."
Charles took a deep breath before accepting the ladle. "Thank you, Darcy." Was all he could manage to say before he reached a hand down to help his silently crying sister up off the floor. He said thank you to the barmaid a few seconds later when she handed him a clean napkin with which to stay the small spot of blood on Caroline's lip.
Darcy was still glaring at the woman when he told Charles he would be outside waiting until Charles was to visit Longbourne. As he walked out the door he heard her sniffling while she whined that Charles should have done something about Darcy compromising her. He turned back around and approached her.
"I did what?" Was snarled in a deathly calm voice.
She flinched at the anger written all over him but did not back down. "You compromised me!" Her voice hit the harpy register as she rubbed a hand across her backside.
"No. I did not compromise you. Compromising you would have involved exposing your nether regions while touching you with my bare hands. I did neither. I simply disciplined a willful disobedient child in the same arena where you chose to act out." He smiled coldly at her before adding, "Furthermore, if I am subjected to another one of your petty tirades where you threaten the health and well-being of others, I shall increase the discipline to fit the outburst. Do you understand?"
He looked sexy as hell with that eyebrow elevated. Even with a bit of blood drying on it. She decided to try again. "You compromised me. I demand you make restitution." Caroline was not sure if she wanted to risk another spanking to get his attention again. Despite the fact that she had fixed his attention on her for several minutes, minutes she knew she had his undivided attention, she was not sure that the beating was worth it. She felt like her arse had been flayed and it was going to take a few days to recover. However, having his strong arms around her had been a goal for several years. That had not been a disappointment. Being in his personal space had been one of her goals. Being placed across his lap definitely fulfilled that wish. She could not have foreseen the angry reaction she had solicited though, and to add insult to injury with the whole production, he had not had erection. She knew because she was pressed into his lap with the back of one hand. He had not been playing, he was completely and ferociously angry with her when he meted out her just reward.
Darcy's lip curled in disdain as he looked straight at Charles Bingley. "Your sister, Caroline, has got to be the kinkiest, vile bitch I have ever had the misfortune to be acquainted with. I will no longer acknowledge any of your family except yourself. Please understand I hold you in the highest regard, but I will no longer invite you into my homes while your family is with you." He snapped his heels together and bowed to Charles before finally exiting the building.
Despite telling Charles he would wait outside, Darcy was pulled away from the inn by the very same female he was wanting to visit. She had been on her way to the butcher shop with Jane when he stepped out the door the second time and she saw his wound. Elizabeth abandoned Jane and took him down the street to the Apothecary while insisting that he needed at least two stitches to pull the cut back together so it would not scar too badly.
He wanted to be in Miss Elizabeth's presence, so he followed like the trained, hen-pecked husband he planned to be. His father had told him ages ago to start as he meant to go on. He planned to be an agreeable husband. Besides, what man does not want to be babied by the woman he wants in his bed making babies with him?
It took all of five minutes for Charles to escort Caroline back out of the inn and put her in the coach waiting to take her to London. Darcy watched from behind the Apothecary glass as the harpy was loaded into the carriage. He sank back into the couch with a smile on his face as the conveyance began its three hours trek back to the pinnacle of civilization. (Yes, we are talking London in 1811, not the Fertile Crescent of Mesopotamia at the beginning of city-states.)
He asked Elizabeth to pop her head out the door and give Charles a wave since he seemed to be spinning in circles out in the middle of the street like the complete nodcock he really was. Lizzy was perfectly happy to watch the other man make a fool of himself instead of asking the few people on the boardwalk if they had seen Mr. Darcy so she delayed obeying by asking if he were sure she should disturb Charles while in the middle of what appeared to be a victory dance of some sort. He gave her the puppy-dog eyed look so she giggled and went to do his bidding.
Charles did not seem to see her waving, so she stuck two fingers in her mouth and did the wolf whistle thing. That caught Charles's attention. It also caught the attention of two men stepping down from the newly arrived, fanciest coach seen in Meryton in several years. She stepped back in the shop and pulled the door shut. By the time she made her way back to Darcy's side Charles and the other two men were almost at the door.
"Darce, old man…" was boomed by both Charles and the sandy blond haired man dressed in Regimentals as they jerked the door open. Charles and the blond were talking over each other as they vied for Darcy's attention. The third man looked around and after saying, "Hello, Cousin." Went back to searching the room. "Where did that divine little creature disappear to?" He spoke calmly to the others as his restless eyes finally saw her hiding behind Darcy.
He looked at Darcy and spoke again, "I say, Darce, you seem to be bleeding. What have you been doing to get wounded?" Then his voice changed to what could be described as able to cut glass. "I say, please unhand that maiden. I have the desire to make her acquaintance. Mother will be ever so pleased that I have found a suitable candidate to become Viscountess Hindley."
Darcy waited until Dr. Jones placed three neat stitches on his brow before turning his attention back to the other three men and wiped the wound clean with a pad soaked in straight distilled alcohol. He also took a minute to stare into Lizzy's eyes while kissing her wrist. "Thank you, Darling." He murmured. Then he stood up and glared at his cousin Henry. "I do not care if you are Prinny himself. Miss Elizabeth is my fiancée and I have no intention of stepping aside so your morally bankrupt, corrupt arse can abscond with her. If you want an idiot who suits your disposition I can introduce you to Cousin Collins."
A look of pure horror flashed across Charles' face as he stared from Henry to Darcy. Henry had no idea of the insult hurled at him. "Do not go there. I have heard you have some strange proclivities, Hindley, but Collins is probably not your standard cup of tea. Trust me on this one, Okay?"
The one in regimentals opened his mouth. "What makes Collins so unsuitable? Henry is usually pretty easy to please."
Darcy did not bother to answer him. He had Elizabeth wrapped in his arms and was applying his lips to hers. Since she was reciprocating his ministrations, it fell to Dr. Jones to break up the party.
He cleared his throat a few times with no apparent success so resorted to a more effective method of drawing ones' attention. He picked up his cow horn and blew it. The three men arguing jumped to attention. Darcy opened his eyes and stared down into the sleepy eyes of his beloved before swiping his tongue along her top lip then sucking her bottom lip into his mouth for a few gentle nibbles.
Dr. Jones shook his head. He knew why Elizabeth had sacrificed herself all those years ago. It pleased him that the man she had lost her virginity to was a worthy man. He decided to interrupt them and send them on their way though. One never knew in Meryton who would need the doctor. He was finished with this particular patient, and it was time for him to pay his bill and move along.
Darcy refused to let Henry anywhere near Lizzy. He spoke in front of him saying, "Do not be alone with Henry. He will do what he can to compromise and ruin you then walk away. He has no intentions of doing anything except lifting your skirts if you permit it."
She leaned up and whispered in his ear. "Rather like I did with you, yes?"
His blue eyes glittered with lust as he admitted. "Precisely!"
They held hands while blushing and giggling as they walked back to Longbourne together.
Richard followed the couple with his eyes until they went around the bend in the road and disappeared from sight. "What was that all about?" He finally asked Charles.
"What was what about?" Charles replied.
"Darcy used to be all decorum and protocol. That lech just about blew my mind. And the woman, damn! What a woman. Beautiful and corrupted. An irresistible combination. When he abandons her for being of easy virtue I want an introduction to her."
Henry glared at Richard. "You always want my toys. Go find your own woman. I intend to steal her from Darcy. I do not care if she is eight months pregnant with Darcy's baby I intend to make her my Viscountess. There is just something about her that sets my soul on fire."
Charles rolled his eyes. "Now you are starting to sound as predictable as I do when meeting a woman who falls within the parameters of 'my angels'."
Henry's eyes drifted back to the path Darcy and Lizzy disappeared down. "Are you still collecting angels? How many have you gone through up to this point?" He asked the question casually.
Bingley decided that it was the better part of valor not to answer that particular question. He just smiles at Henry and proceeded gaze toward the butcher shop where he knew the end of his angel search was standing.
The three decided to go back to the inn and have some lunch since it was getting on to that time. While they were enjoying a nice mutton stew with soda bread and braised carrots Darcy was enjoying another long kiss under the weeping willow tree that grows beside the bridge. If hands wandered to places considered absolutely off limits to those of the un-wed state, well- that is not our problem, is it? The love birds did make their way home several minutes later. They were twined around each other like cats in heat and did not care the first bit that anyone would be offended.