6

Chapter 606 Coming Back from the Dead is Rough

"

Hale handled notifying St. Thomas that she was alive. According to him, this was greeted with mixed reactions. The Neonatal department was in complete chaos and it looked like the rot extended beyond Carl Namid and Margaret Murphy. Namid clammed up and refused to say anything without his attorney. Margaret was singing and ratting under the guidance of her attorney. Hale expected additional arrests to follow in the coming days. By the time Tara returned from medical leave in six weeks, there might not be a Neonatal department.

Tara called Donna to tell her she was alive. She'd screamed at first believing it was a call from beyond the grave, but when Tara explained that Hale decided the only way to keep her safe was to fake her death, she understood. He hadn't allowed her to tell anyone. He was taking the blame for faking her death, so she could preserve her relationships.

When it came to Scarlett and Jax, she insisted they be told the truth. Scarlett and Jax would pretend they didn't know and again Hale would be the bad guy. Tara felt guilty heaping so much blame on Hale, but he insisted it would all be worth it to keep her safe until he had enough to make arrests.

Steve was going to be messy and tricky. Tara wasn't looking forward to that conversation. He'd saved her life and she'd let him think she was dead. Whether he had feelings for her or not, it was a pretty terrible thing to do. Blaming Hale would only get her so far. She tried to tell herself it didn't matter because she didn't have a future with Steve, but that wasn't the point; it was a terrible way to treat someone. And he saved her life.

She swallowed her nerves and called him.

"Steve, it's Tara."

"Are you home?" he asked after a long pause.

"Yeah," she said without thinking.

"I'll be right over."

Before she could tell him not to come, he'd ended the call. She realized she shouldn't have told him she was home, but she didn't think he was dangerous. She reminded herself she wasn't much of a judge of character since she'd dated Eric and that was a humiliating nightmare. Gay and animal porn. And she dated him. How had she not been able to figure out there was something not quite right about him?

Fifteen minutes later, Steve was pounding on her door. She was going to have to face him sooner or later, she might as well get it over with once and for all otherwise she'd be dreading it until it happened.

She pulled herself to her feet and walked with her crutches to the door and let Steve into her house.

"You know I had a feeling you were alive," Steve said. He didn't sound happy or sad; it was simply a comment.

"I know I owe my life to you," Tara said, hoping to defuse some of his anger.

"Damned right you do. When you told me you had a bad feeling about your trip, it was more than that, wasn't it?" There was a mix of anger and bitterness in his voice.

Tara carefully returned to her seat in the recliner in the living room and put up the foot rest to prop up her broken leg. It would also provide a barrier between her and Steve.

"I didn't know. It was more women's intuition than anything else."

Steve paced around the living room, not even looking at Tara.

"I don't get it. I save your life and yet you can't be bothered to tell me that you're alive?"

"David Hale thought it was better if everyone thought I was dead until he could make arrests and guarantee my safety," Tara said feebly. The explanation sounded so ridiculous to her now. She should have told Steve. There was no excuse for her not letting him know other than she wanted to back out of their relationship. She could have handled the whole thing more gracefully with more compassion. It was a little late for that now.

"You really think I'm so stupid that I'll believe that?" he raised his voice. "If you had any amount of respect for me, you would have told me. I saved your damned life and you let me believe you were dead. That says what a shitty person you really are," Steve said. Tara flinched at his words.

"It was Hale's idea," Tara insisted.

"And poor victim Tara went along. Bullshit. You could have called me to let me know. You owed me that after I saved your life. I was good enough to save your life, but you didn't trust me enough to call me and let me know you were alive. You absolutely disgust me."

"Steve, I am sorry," Tara said, anguish in her voice. "You're right; I should have contacted you and told you. Honestly I wasn't thinking too clearly at the time. Please forgive me."

Steve quit pacing and stood in front of Tara staring down at her, his face flushed with anger, his hands balled into fists in his pockets.

"No, I'm not going to do that. I have been nothing but kind to you. I save your life and how do you treat me? Like shit. I'm done with you Tara. You are the most self-centered, selfish person I have ever met. I never want to see you again."

Tara was going to break up with Steve, but still his breaking up with her stung a little. It shouldn't bother her, but it did. Or maybe it was what he'd said about her being self-centered and selfish. There might be a grain of truth in his words.

"I understand," she said. It didn't matter who did the breaking up, she told herself. Relief began to flood her body. She didn't realize until that moment how her relationship with Steve was weighing her down emotionally.

"I'm sorry I bothered to save your life," Steve said with a snarl in his voice.

Tara wondered if she'd misread Steve. She didn't have any more than friendship feelings for him and she assumed that he felt the same way. Maybe he was hoping for more with her.

"I'm not," she said in a small voice.

"Oh, God, now you're playing the poor little victim again. I have tried to be patient with you with the whole Kohn thing. I even played bodyguard for you. And yet I'm not owed the decency of you calling me and telling me you're alive."

"I said I wasn't thinking straight."

"No, Tara, you were thinking straight. You were only thinking of yourself. You think you're the fucking sun and everyone orbits you."

"Fine, think what you like," she said. There wasn't any point arguing. They were done. It was better to just get him gone and the sooner the better.

"You know what, Tara," Steve said suddenly shouting, "I'm going to help you think straight. I'm sick of being a placeholder for Jax Teller. You can't have him, so you look around for the next best thing and you decided I was it. Well, I'm not going to be anyone's consolation prize. You'll never find any man as long as you are hung up on Jax."

"I'm not," Tara protested.

"If he wanted to get back with you, you'd be with him in a heartbeat. The problem is, he doesn't want you. Maybe he sees what a truly horrible self-centered piece of shit you are," Steve said. He turned and walked towards the hall. Before he walked down the hall and out of her life, he turned to face her once more. "You know I'd wish you good luck, but I don't give a damn what happens to you now."

He left closing the door softly behind him. Tara's eyes filled with tears. It wasn't the pain of losing Steve. She felt nothing for him even the gratitude she had for him for saving her life was gone destroyed by his harsh and hateful words. She assured herself there wasn't any truth to his words as she wiped her eyes.

She was about to get up and lock the door when there was a tap.

"It's Scarlett."

"Come in," Tara called loudly. "The door's not locked."

Scarlett came in carrying four bags of groceries.

"Why are you in here without the door being locked?"

"Steve just left. We're finished."

"How'd he take it?"

"He took it OK," Tara said.

Scarlett took the bags to the kitchen and began to put the groceries away.

"

Is Tara in love with Jax? And if she is, what will she do?